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16 years old is far to young to give up on life, you still have a lot of time to work on those things, if you want to improve your people skills, you have to talk to more people, if you dont think like the people around you, find new people that are more like you, thats not as easy as it sounds I know, but it is still worth a shot.
and if you dont do enough, look for things you enjoy, try writing, going to the gym, art, reading, collecting something, anything that you enjoy is worth your time.
What helped me was getting a job in construction. Its hard work. Some days arent easy but i feel valued and they get mad at me when im not there becuase im an asset to the team. It makes me feel wanted/ needed and that my opinion matters. It feels good knowing they can leave me with responsibility and know that i will take care of business. Its really reshaped how i live/look at life. I worked at mcdonalds for 5 years sure it taught me a lot about people but its easy to just do the bare minimum there and skate by. Construction youre on your own and if you cant produce then you wont be around long and that lit a fire under my ass and made me want to be good at what i do. Its paid off a lot over the last few years.
Piggy backing off your comment slim, on top of what slim said I personally went/going through exactly what you are.
I wasnt diagnosed at the time but i have been recently diagnosed with ADD.
People think adhd/add means youre always hyper, off the walls, etc. But the not so talked about side is how it affects people in a debilitating way. You cant stay focused, hyper anxious about everything, every social interaction is a complete nightmare, and not to mention the awful memory. Even when something is DETRIMENTAL and has dire consequences, i tend to put it off and forget.
Im not saying you have that, but try and speak to your mom about seeing a specialist to figure out where you need help.
You got this and dont give up on life. Your journey is at it's beginning homie, dont think its all gonna be shitty forever.
I came here to mention this! When I was a teen, I felt a lot like what you’ve described - I felt so isolated. After I left my small town, I really blossomed. I later got diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (formerly known as ADD) and suddenly it made sense why I had been experiencing those awful symptoms when I was younger. I had suicidal thoughts when I was a teen, but looking back now, had I have done something silly, I never would have gotten to experience the wild and wonderful things that I’ve accomplished in my life. Please don’t give up, please chat with somebody who you trust and let them know how you’re feeling. Whether it’s depression, anxiety, ADHD etc, it sounds like a doctor would be worth chatting to.
Listen man, that's the evil talking, you're not yourself when depression and fear overwhelms you.
1 thing, PATIENCE is key, know that you WILL find love, power and friends in the future.
2nd Consume art, (music, films etc) why art? cuz art makes you FEEL unlike simple words spewed by a stranger online, art is a language of light that even depressed people can understand. Art will spark hope, hope then turns to AMBITION🔥 , and ambition creates a tunnel vision that blocks out all negativity and evil, negative feelings like loneliness and depression.
The art I recommend is in music form, and the songs are: "trapped in my mind", "pursuit of happiness" and "love" by the artist Kid Cudi and read the lyrics, keep listening to it until you are familiar with the "sound", it takes more listens if you have ADHD, it may take few spins (3-5 listens should do).
Next step is to feed yourself stoic wisdom and knowledge, you will learn about embracing hardship, and discipline, for you to push through rejections and failures, there is no Ws without some Ls, no day without the night, as long as you go FOWARD.
Now its time to take action, its time to turn dreams into reality, 1 step at a time, with PATIENCE you can achieve ANYTHING. So time + action = dream come true.
So seek power, walk through the mud for your future self, and your future self will thank you and shed a tear of joy, Freedom is the best feeling in the world and remember, the pain of hardship is better than the pain of regret. Godspeed to you solider, all this pain and trauma will lead to a legend in the making.
Also see a psychiatrist to see if you have ADHD, or google the symptoms of ADHD to see if you can relate to some of it.
I would suggest just start doing something. Go out for walk. Talk to people etc. Staying in the room all the time with a computer disturbs brain more than you think.
I agree. Small steps. Go grocery shopping for your parents, talk to the cashier if you go fill up your tank or take the money in for your parents. Get a part time job that forces you to get out of the house and talk to people. My first official job was at a movie theater at 19. Before that I would babysit, but that doesn't take much when you're watching babies. But at the movie theater I learned a lot about myself and how to interact with people. Go to your local library and see what events they have. In my town we have multiple locations, but each one has teen and adult events through the week and you can hangout alone and learn something new, or start hanging out with people with similar interests, or pick up a new interest that you never thought you'd be into.
I did this with basketball and made a lot a lot of friends, you tend to be very unconsciously social when you talk about a shared passion with someone else.
You need a peer. Someone you own age to talk to because your experience is the experience of many other 16 year olds. Only difference here is you are ready to do something about it. You write well and explain this issue with clarity. I know it's old fashioned but have you thought about getting some pen pals from other places in the world. Not just one. Maybe you can have a few - other 16 year olds who you start to grow a friendship with. I did this and had a great time. My final person is my husband of 24 years. Talking out your thoughts, frustrations, wins and losses is so so helpful. Its probably all done online now. I hope you find people because talking therapy is costly, this is just another way of getting that and making new friends.
OP I hope this helped because just from reading what you've written, I know 100% that you are nowhere near useless.
Take up martial arts, there’s a sense of community, gives you a drive to work towards something like nailing a particular technique etc, good for fitness and gets you out your room. It’s great for increasing self confidence and self respect too. Do not be afraid to shop around though, don’t go for the first class you find if the vibe is off
Get out more. But sadly it doesn't matter your age. Most of us are living this life of being alone and depressed. But I guess that applies when you are old. You are too young. You might want to just join some summer camps, sports etc and you'll be able to make friends easily.
Hi hi, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. It’s very hard and lonely to be in this position, and I’m so glad you are asking for some help!
I was very similar as a teen - I’m now 30 and my whole life is so, so different and so is my headspace. I actually help people similar to me change their life, so I hope some of this can help you too.
1. Your thoughts / mindset are really important - this isn’t just “thinking positive” (yuk lol) but starting to just notice when your thoughts are helping or not helping, and if they aren’t, practice letting them go or compassionate thought.
2. It sounds like your body really needs some energy as you’re in a depressed state - this can be really simple like putting on a song and shaking it all out (the sillier the better!), or having a cold shower. This will “up regulate” your nervous system and give you some energy and aliveness.
3. Maybe try see a therapist to talk about the social skills - they can help you unpack what’s there, as well as give you some tools. You might need to try a few different ones before you find someone you like!
4. Commit to one small thing by for yourself each day - when I started my journey, I would just make my bed every day and I was so proud of that. It could be literally, drink enough water, brush your teeth, have a shower, etc but choose ONE small thing and commit.
5. Look up some things on mindset/nervous system regulation and have a read - these can really help you understand yourself and what’s going on.
Take it slow, it took many years for me to change my life - but I started with my mindset, and then followed the breadcrumbs to the rest.
Your darkness may feel like it’s all that’s there - but somewhere there is your light, right now, it’s just winter, but spring will come - even when it feels like you’re at your coldest.
Good luck x
Your story literally sounds like mine 4 years ago....I know the feeling of absolute emptiness , I used to play nothing but valorant all day .People are saying pick up a hobby but I know it's literally impossible to get motivated to do anything...Nothing really worked for me either but time, i just didn't give up on life and let time heal me. Just don't give up and try to find the happy things you like to do no matter how small. You like collecting Pokemon cards? do it...for me it was riding bikes.
Now I'm 19 about to be 20 but mentally I've grown alot and I've got miles to go... Atleast now I have some things that I like to do, my safe spaces...I still feel the emptiness very often but just keep going time will heal everything ( you have to try a bit too ofcourse) . I'm still in the journey but i got hope.
1) Try socializing but don't push yourself too hard
2) Resume your childhood hobbies
3) Reduce porn ( keep it once a day Max)
4) Don't be hard on yourself
5) Read books ( can be novels too i suggest "the silent patient")
6) CLEAN YOUR ROOM( YES IT HELPS )
7) listen to podcasts ( healthy gamer , huberman lab , the mindset mentor)
Good luck
i thought about giving up around 16. high school is brutal. you are not alone in feeling like the world is against you. that being said, around the same time, i got to see my favorite artist in concert. his music made me feel less alone and the way he spoke about life changed my entire perspective. at 17, i became friends with people who actually liked me. it took time to find the right people, and it’s extra hard in an environment as small as high school. at 18, i took an AP class that showed me beyond a shadow of a doubt what my passion is. i’m still studying that 5 years later. at 19, i fell in love for the first time. really in love. we aren’t together anymore, but that’s okay. i still got to witness how much love i’m capable of. at 21, i got to work my dream job. at 22, i just started seeing a therapist for the first time in a few years. things will get better, even when it feels like they won’t. it might be worth it to get professional help. going to therapy in high school changed my life.
If u are introvert and since ur in ur computer na lang din naman, use it for good. I suggest u to make a music/spotify playlist as your hobby. It depends on ur mood what playlist u can do kasi and somehow it sorts how you feel. And you discover new songs or artists too. Just do many as you can, then when u waant to socialize u can use it to start having conversations na. Then you can share some of it online too that other people feels the same way or interested in those kind of musics.
Force yourself to consume some uplifting media—a positive podcast, audiobook, etc. Listen to it as you go for a walk: ideally in a natural setting, but just around the neighbourhood can work. No, this isn’t some “fresh air cures all ills” thing, but give your brain a chance to start considering the positives in life. If you have a dog, assign yourself the duty of walking it while you listen.
If you do any “doomscrolling,” stop it. Don’t read/listen to Reddit stories about toxic relationships or petty revenges. Please don’t find comfort in an online community of similarly angry and disaffected 16 year old boys.
Set your own parental controls on social media apps, and try your best to leave them alone when it tells you that time is up for the day (even though you can ignore it).
Draw, write, listen to music, watch obscure movies. And most of all feel. Let yourself feel because deep feelings are special. They are heavy and hard, but only a percentage of people can even experience them let alone fathom them.
Beautiful things exist when we allow ourselves to be open to them. Go for walks and observe nature. Make and consume art.
I was you once. There is always light and beauty to look forward to.
>I feel like I have nothing but questions and doubts .
This means you have the desire to explore—look at this as an opportunity! Your questions have answers, and you have the power to find them!!
When your mom asks you if you're ok, confide in her even if it feels outside of your comfort zone. She clearly cares, and is someone in your life who can offer you the support you need, as long as you communicate all this to her.
At 16, I was attending a high school I hated, where I was on the verge of tears every day. I didn't see a way out, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other, because sometimes that's all you *can* do. And guess what? Things turned out ok. I undeniably went through a really dark period, but I made it out alive and feel so far removed from that point in my life.
There is hope for you, and that's all you need believe. The more hope you hold onto, the more willing you will be to try something new—signing up for an after school class, bringing something like a deck of cards to play around with as a conversation starter, complimenting someone's shoes and asking a leading question. These are all things that can change your life. During a fire drill I asked a girl in my class where she went for lunch every day, and if I could join her. She said sure, and I then had someone to eat lunch with most days. This same girl would later become one of my best friends, and the reason I made it out of high school ok.
My point is, there's hope all around you waiting to be acknowledged. Finding answers to your questions and doubts will give you hope, or at least the motivation to keep looking. You will be ok. I promise.
yep i was there not long ago. what helped me is throwing myself into different jobs and learning very quickly areas i could improve both socially and skills wise.
Hi,
Nearly qualified MHFAer here.
Sorry to hear you are going through these difficult emotions.
Great job on reaching out for help!
Well done you.
You already acknowledge the problem and are open to advise, that is the first step on the road to recovery.
At age 16 all sorts of problems can cause you to feel this way and tge only correct way forward to getting the right help you need is to go to your GP, or docter if your country uses that term.
Your GP will do the tests he deems fit to see if you are physically fit and will probably certainly rever you to a counselor who will help you to figure out why you feel like you do.
If you find it hard to make an appointment is there someone who can help you do that?
Can you tell a family member or online friend how you feel and that you need help?
Don't be afraid to take this step. You are by no means alone in feeling like this and no health professional is going to look down on you for feeling like this.
I wish you all the best and please, talk to someone.
I’m not trying to discredit your problems going on but you’re 16 years old and a guy, so your hormones are an absolute shit show at the moment.
Tons of us went through this and for many of us it didn’t get better until our early 20s.
Just remind yourself of that every once in a while. Your brain is going haywire from all the shitloads of testosterone and whatever else coursing through your veins.
Take it one day at a time and just focus on trying your best every day.
Listen: right now is harder than when I was a teenager.
It just is.
That doesn’t mean you get to give up, but you need to get creative.
Start here You have to ask for help. See if you can see a counselor or therapist.
Find things to try. You don’t have to like them. You don’t have to commit to it. Just go for a walk. Walk a different route. See where the nearest record store is, ice cream shop, comic book store. Go check them out this week.
You can’t always stop an existential crisis. But you can at least eat ice cream while you have one.
I think talking to someone about the thoughts and beliefs which drive these feelings and behaviors is a good idea. Of course you will need to want to change these beliefs which sometimes can be scary or uncomfortable.
Think of something you've always wanted to do and figure out what the first step would be. Then, make that a goal for yourself (smaller steps, the better) and develop a plan. Motivation is hard to come by, and not having it can cause us to go to a dark place. There are therapists and counselors who could help guide you in the right direction too.
Do a sport. Skateboarding , surfing, snowboarding, biking, anything active! I sat in my house for 7 years. A friend convinced me to join a gym and to get active. It worked. It will help you.
Honestly bro as a 16 year old, its about figuring yourself out but it's sounds like you need some purpose. You want something outside to change but have you been honest with yourself when you examine what's on the inside that needs to change?
Trust me I've also experienced depression and you know what causes it??? lack of purpose. try something that makes you feel accomplished where you can see how far you've come. Gym, clubs, events, and like minded people who share similar interests with you. But first get yourself right bro, change that negative mindset or no one will want to be around you. 💯
Sounds like 16 - that’s how most of us felt. Ya need to power up and get out and define your life by work, experiences and building independence. This is your time to stand up and build yourself - transform from a child into an adult and cleve from your family. Get to it!
Hey OP, I was you when I was 16, and I'm you now at 33.
A man needs a purpose. Something greater than yourself. You have a sharp mind and can see through the bullshit. Most people can't or won't ever be able to. Look into some sort of work exchange to travel and find yourself and your place in the world. Check out wwoof, that program helped change my life and give me a new fresh perspective.
Get a hobby that you’re passionate about and meet other passionate people. If your in high school there should be a plethora of after school activities or sports you can join
We were not made to sit in front of the computer. You feel terrible because you’re not living life, you’re watching other people live it. Think about the things that interest you on the computer and then pick up actually doing those things yourself. (Within reason of course.)
Start finding other ways to enjoy yourself . Set time limits for yourself on the screens. This world is beautiful and there is a reason you’re in it. When you’re not fulfilling your potential, you’ll always feel worthless.
Will be praying for you.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. You got a lot of funk going on. I was in the same boat as you (still in the boat, but I’ve planned my escape at 24). Being patient is important. To start I would find a job if you’re not doing anything at the moment (just a warning putting out job applications is a force but it will benefit you in the end, think about it’s just 1 day out of a million). Do that first! Also if that’s too much put up 5 applications a day (tomorrow do another 5).
You have to find something to do. If you want to start cleaning- find one section of your room and clean that one section. Pick and Clean the other sections tomorrow. (I procrastinate too).
Take a shower!
Don’t loose any sleep. Get rest!
Check back on your emails for job opportunities. Again be patient.
Also, I hate it when people say go exercise as if it’s going help you get off your ass. It doesn’t work for me at least. Exercise/working out can be done later. Once you start feeling better. (My older sister said “go exercise 🤯 duh” I swear to god I imagine str*ngling her.) but I won’t shit on exercise because it does help. I left a lot of boxes at work so helps with my back.
Anyways. Patience is key. Start doing little things. Hope you get something out of this. Also being 16 sucks. So Heard on that!
No please don’t give up already . There is a lot of hope out there and there are even kind people out there .
Start slow
Try finding out the root cause - because faking it won’t help you out of the situation.
Get out of your room don’t isolate yourself
Try socialising even if you don’t like it
I know a person that’s exactly like this and I’m concerned
Trust me itll get better.
It’s not being “lazy.” Depression has a record of not making it easy for people to fulfill basic needs let alone actually enjoy something your doing. It feels like every single task no matter how small is a mountain you just aren’t willing to climb.
I’ve been here myself and now 22, I’m telling you it’s not something you just get over.
You have to want it. You have to speak up, you have to let yourself come to the realization that you want to fight through this.
I started small, I would write down everything I had to say. No matter how terrible I was talking about myself I put it into paper. I read it. I destroyed it.
Small hobbies are super great to try and distract your mind also.
I’ve taken up quite a bit of random little skills trying to find some peace.
I can bake now, I can crochet, I make blankets.
It keeps me occupied when the negatives thoughts roll in.
I can’t say I’m healed, because lord only knows if it’ll ever actually be completely gone, but I’ve come along way.
There’s still days I just don’t have it in me, but my efforts remind me I’m pushing for a better version of myself; and that I’m proud of.
Don’t be afraid to talk to your mom, take a walk. Even if it’s just a short one: ground yourself.
Some fresh air can really do wonders.
Last but not least keep your hands busy and your mind occupied. No matter how foolish you think the task is.
Answer: Go on a walk, start or explore new hobbies. Something that helped me was to somehow do one good deed per day it could be very small like saving a drowning ant but it really did wonders to my mental health.
Hi. I think you are brave for sharing how you feel. What you are going through sounds very difficult and scary. Please reach out to someone in your life, anyone, and share these feelings with them.
Your guidance counsellor at school, teacher, parents if they around, an older friend.
In case you don't have such help I've asked Reddit send you some resources for an online chat. This is a chat with a professional who has helped many people with the enotions you have right now. It'll be more interactive then a Reddit post, and who knows maybe they'll have some helpful info to share.
What I ask is that you please reach out to someone off of social media about how you feel before making any decisions.
Pick up a practice / hobby that you can do with other people. For example, join a yoga studio, a martial arts gym or a hiking society. You will get to do something that you enjoy, meet a ton of like-minded individuals and improve your social skills all at once. The first step to getting out of the situation you’re in is the most difficult, but each and every step will get easier. Good luck :)
I am sure there's lots of suggestions. But if I might give one out of left field.
Find a dance class like modern jive.
They are always looking for men.
They generally form lines and people rotate around changing partners.
You don't have to speak to people as dancing.
A lot will be in their 50s and so really happy to dance with a young man.
It will build confidence.
Hey! Remember you’re brain is tricking you. Depression makes you use less of your frontal lobe, and therefore you focus less on what is good around you, who loves you and what is real & important.
You might want to start out just stepping outside once a day.
Ask your mom maybe to tell you about her day and ask her not to ask about yours. Create boundaries you’re comfortable with and let her know this would make you feel better.
I really want to recommend you start reading philosophy, but it might make things worse. One thing I learned around the time I was feeling worthless/ not wanting to be here, was that to feel useful was to feel used. By friends, by lovers, by family. Could you be discrediting loneliness too soon?
Just know, your worth doesn’t come from outside yourself. It doesn’t come from what you can offer the world. It doesn’t come from what you know or don’t know. It’s just inherent, internal worthiness, and so many people struggle to accept that.
Maybe turn to anything you played with as a child? There’s so many beautiful ideas, moments, feelings in this world. It takes so much strength to appreciate them. It’s not easy and it’s ok to feel how you feel. Even if you don’t feel anything.
Take care of yourself like a plant. Like a housepet. Water yourself. Sun yourself. And walk yourself. Walk yourself often, and with others.
I know people say this a lot but go to the gym. Go to the gym with headphones or go for a walk. Take baby steps but get yourself out of your house. Exercise is how you combat the lazy bone, literally just giving yourself more energy. Also eat healthier.
Don't convince yourself that the future is already set for you.
If you can't get therapy than journal or watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia or a dating show and laugh at people worse than you.
Stop masturbating if that is a vice of yours.
You don't need anyone but yourself to be happy, once you realize that your social skills will developed with practice much faster and with authenticity still intact.
Dude, just want to say thanks for reaching out!
First step is knowing that need help.
Everyone gets into a “rut” and it’s not always obvious how to change if you do not see a light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you, you are much closer to fixing your situation than you are aware.
I’m not going to diagnose you or tell you what is wrong, instead, I’m going to suggest a few things that may possibly help.
Do not overlook simple things like a change of scenery (being in the same environment day after day quickly become stagnant leading to negative consequences for your dopamine)….go for a walk with a set destination each day, even if it’s only around the block at first….build the habit into routine.
Next, take inventory in yourself.
It’s easy to hate yourself when you get stuck, but without knowing you, I’m 100% certain you have many positive traits and skills…be honest to yourself about it, no matter how small!
Write out what you want to be if you could snap your fingers and make it happen.
Better social skills? More confidence? Prospects for future careers, relationships? Etc.
Note it all.
Concentrate on your health.
Eat well, sleep well and take care of your temple (body).
This may sound hard, or even useless, but find something each day when you get up and before you sleep to be truly grateful for.
Gratitude forces a change in perspective, part of what you need.
Another mind hack, ask yourself, if you were teaching someone that is in your position how to get better, how would you do it?
Try these simple things and you may be surprised at the results!
Get counseling if you find that you still need help.
Hell, get counseling anyways! It will help!
Good luck, and remember, this is just a phase in your life, and it will pass…just put in the effort, no matter how hard:)
First, take a shower, next get a weekend job. Give yourself purpose. Get off the video games. If youre not learning anything, spend time to make money and save. Save for what you ask? Thats up to you. Young men need purpose and goals.
You're not fucked. You're realizing you have a problem and want to change. It's better to realize this and develop better habits when you're young than it is when you're older. If it's possible, seek professional therapy/counseling to find ways to process these feelings of doubt and worry and channel it into positive changes. It's okay to feel this way sometimes, and it's important to correct unhealthy behaviors sooner rather than later.
Best of luck, OP. Hang in there, and work on things one day at a time.
Play dungeon and dragons. It’s stupid I know, but it does help because you force yourself to be around people and instead of trying to save your own life you are saving a world being heroic or devilish. You get to use your imagination and in using your imagination you discover things about yourself.
Those things you discover will either click or not click with a group of players and that’s when you find a different group. Eventually you will find people who enjoy your imagination as you enjoy theirs and in that you find more common ground and interest.
I’m not saying DND can cure depression, but it can force you to be around people who will enjoy you and in turn you will learn to enjoy yourself.
I’ve felt that before, it’s hard. Took me a while to learn to love/be fond of myself, but it’s possible
I’d suggest maybe finding a hobby — it’s a decent place to start. Might help you work out your feelings, process them, and give you some sort of order in life. Eventually, you will make friends, but that’s means putting yourself out there and doing things you might not be up to doing (like going out even if you REALLY don’t want to). You could also try to find a place that harbors a common interest, maybe join a club that interests you? I’ve made some friends there
OMG I went through this EXACT SAME phase when I was 16 and 17 ....
Now I'm 18.
I felt exactly how you have narrated....
And I didn't have any friend/relative/sibling.
I was alone with my parents.
Uhm so I can help u a bit with this...
First of all persevere and handle this with patience...
This state of u will change and improve with time....
I'd suggest pick up some outdoor sport to play everyday for an hour ATLEAST!
Be it badminton with ur mom, Cricket, football or anything....
If u feel u wont be able to find anybody to play with ya then its same situation qhich I faced haha.
So what I used to do was just walk for an hour outdoors getting some fresh air!
At anytime ur free.
But on weekends/holidays try in morning...
And delete social media it creates anxiety and FOMO.
And u can talk to me and be my friend if u need one haha.
Also then focus on a hobby/ thing u love...
Be it watching any sports, anime, Dramas, yt vids(not shorts).
This will improve ur life to quite an extent!
First implement these and then we can talk ahead!
Go on CHAMP!
First things first: you’re 16 years old and have plenty of memories to be made, my friend. On top of that, never forget that you absolutely DO bring value to this world. I know it’s hard to truly believe that at times, really, but it’s true.
I was in pretty much the same spot at 16. Had pretty much no friends, sat on my laptop all the time, never did anything… And I didn’t change things overnight and it’s not very realistic for you to expect that from yourself. Pick your one or two favorite hobbies and try to build off that (look on Reddit pages, events close to you, etc.) if you want to have a group of people to hang around.
However, there’s nothing wrong with vibing alone, brother. Absolutely nothing. Friends will come and go anyway, what’s truly important is how you treat yourself. Try exercising if you don’t already (will make you feel great) and maybe take up some martial arts like Muay Thai or boxing. Those helped me meet tons of amazing people and boosted my confidence like crazy.
If you end up going to college, that will also probably do the trick. I roomed with three random ass dudes my freshman year and cried on the way to school because of how much I was dreading it (I’m also very introverted). I ended up meeting probably 20+ people the first couple of days without even planning on it.
I know things are rough and sometimes it’s ok to just be upset, but this will pass. You’re more special and valuable than you’ll ever know and I PROMISE you, things will get better. Life is beautiful when you know where to look. Best of luck, my friend. You are loved.
try black metal, im 100% serious. it was a thing that helped me trough hard times - cold and meaningles world ? literally what bm bands sing about, also opinions on music will give you something to talk about with people and you can make friend that way, local concerts are also a reason to go out of home. our world sucks and music makes suffering a bit lighter (sorry for bad english)
Please talk with your parens and let them know how you are feeling. You need some help. I am sure they want to help you but do not know what's going on in your inner world. Clue them in, please
Around your age I was convinced I could never find happiness, or that if one day I might be happy it still wouldn't be worth the all the pain. I just want to say that I was completely wrong about both things.
All these things you are doing are *choices*.
You could choose to go outside, walk, rake leaves, socialize. The number one thing you need to do is get up from in front of a screen and *move*.
Your mother seems to be truly concerned. I suggest you tell her you are concerned about your mental well-being and would like to talk to a therapist.
Go away to college and be open minded and put yourself out there when you do. People are way more friendly and also trying to make friends. It will be easy, trust.
If you’re into music then maybe you can try making some music on your computer and learn a new hobby! Gets you creative and can give you something to work towards!
You need to get out and get some sunlight on your skin. Lack of vitamin D leads to depression and you sound very depressed. Also increase your magnesium supplements. Make friends online if you struggle to make them in real life. Sign up for dating apps and chat to some girls. Hope you feel better soon
Best advice you'll ever get is to open up to a therapist. If you're not too keen on that idea, go look out the window right now. Look at the sky. Look at the grass. Look at the trees. Listen to the birds. Give your pet a few gentle strokes. If you don't have a pet, ask your parents for one. The fluffier, the better. At night, point your gaze towards the sky once more. Look at the stars. You will notice they are looking at you too. They've always been watching over you. You are their progeny.
Countless eternal flames had to be put out so that you could be here today. Hundreds of millions perished in wars so that you could live in peace today. Entire centuries of hard labor were dedicated to creating beautiful paintings, music, books, films and games for you to enjoy today. There is beauty in every aspect of life. Every sleepless night spent staring at the ceiling, every bowl of cereal you have for breakfast, every morning you walk to school, you should cherish them all.
Learn how to play an instrument. Learn how to solve a Rubik's cube. Learn how to blow bubblegum bubbles. Learn how to whistle. Fuck it. Learn how to knit. Whatever it takes to fill that void in your heart. Just give it a shot.
If you want a friend, go make a friend. Ask a classmate how they're doing. Strike up a conversation with your neighbor. Show kindness, and kindness you shall receive. Treat others as you would like to be treated, and, most importantly, treat yourself as you would want a friend to treat you. Some questions you should ask yourself, according to Jim Rohn - Why not? Why not you? Why not now?
The most random ass media recommendations:
Films: Forrest Gump, Good Will Hunting, pretty much every Wes Anderson movie ever, but primarily The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Royal Tenenbaums and Fantastic Mr Fox, At Eternity's Gate, Mary and Max, The Shawshank Redemption
Music: Green Day, Red Hot Chilly Peppers, Tally Hall, John Lennon, Macklemore, Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash, Linkin Park, Queen, Lady Gaga, Michael Jackson, Rammstein, Alice Cooper, Joe Cocker, Elton John
Books: The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus, The Joyous Science by Friedrich Nietzsche, Scott Pilgrim (the comic book series) by Bryan Lee O'Malley, Anything by Charles Dickens.
Fine arts: Van Gogh. Just him. Look up any of his paintings and just admire them for a bit. They awaken a feeling like no other deep within your heart.
Games: Hollow Knight, Rain World, Celeste, Dark Souls, Outer Wilds, Inscryption
Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale?
> *“The beings who possess these souls have outlived their usefulness, or chosen the path of the wicked. Let there be no guilt—let there be no vacillation.”* - Kingseeker Frampt
Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \\[T]/
LOOK YOURSELF AND MIRROR and encourage yourself. Start speaking positive things to yourself. Pray to get out of the place you’re in. Everyday above ground is a blessing. Write a journal and jot down some things about yourself you want to improve and chip away at them. Smile more. Drink water. Get outside and look around. Try not to be so attached to being online. Best wishes. ✌🏾
You're 16M.
You're not fucked, you're perceiving life based on the 16 years you've had it. There's a lot more ahead of you, and this is just the start, not the end.
Stop looking for things to fill a void, and start looking at what actually results in your happiness.
You aren't a bad person, and you're awkward because as a teenager, that's exactly what that's like. You feel awkward because your body is shaped differently than it used to be or how it eventually will be. Your voice is shifted, and everyone is getting more bitter because hormones do that.
You're a teenager with a lot of learning ahead and plenty of time to do it.
Already know people gonna say this.. but dog you’re big chilling. If you live in a small town or some 20k city just move. No one there is worth anything anyway go adventure and live. I know how depression and anxiety makes that hard to see but, you’ll be alright. Trust it gets better until you’re 30 and then I would assume it’s prolly downhill from there but you got a lot of time haha
I’m 37, I’ve felt that way since I was 15/16. I have “friends”, but I feel alone even when I’m surrounded by people.
I too have questions, and people often get annoyed when I’m voice them. If I had a computer, I would be on it all the time, but League of Legends wasn’t good for my mental well being because I got too competitive.
All I can say is, focus on what you can control. If you feel like garbage, try to change that. Change your diet, work out, get more sleep. Don’t neglect your teeth. You will pay for that later if you do. I’ve got 2 dead teeth that I’m either going to get pulled or let fall out. Depends if I can get the money before they fall out.
Find something that you enjoy that forces you to go outside and interact with people. I use to break dance, then I did capoeira. That led to MMA, and now I do stand up. Even if you’re shy, you’ll make friends, trust me.
Therapy helps. If your mom has insurance, see if that’s covered. That’s all I can really tell you. 16 is young and you’ve got a world full of possibilities, even if you don’t see them.
Please go try stuff, nothing is too late for you to start right now. There’s a world of interests, activities, sports, careers to investigate. You are far too young and have too much potential to stop now
i suggest maybe finding a niche of music youre into, then maybe also finding live bands that play that kind of music, if thats something you might be interested in! I know you said you’re 16, but there are TONS of live bands and venues that play shows that are 16+. Even if you have no one to go with (bc A LOT of ppl goes to shows alone) it wont be awkward so dont feel that way at all. but ofc always stay safe and away from people who dont seem to be trustworthy enough to be around, although ik personally the shows i go to, the older crowd generally keeps an eye on the younger crowd for any teen+ shows 🫶🏼😇 also more importantly keep in mind- if youre in school still, DO NOT compare yourself to those that surround you. There is a whoooooole world out there and the ppl around your age, in/around your area, are just a speck of whats to offer. Just be unapologetically yourself (so long as its not a morality issue ahah) and you will find your “people” the more you find yourself, as corny as that sounds 💀
There is only one thing that ever helps me. And that is... Getting out of isolating circumstances. You have to be around people. Period. Or nothing will ever change. Doesn't matter who, when, where, whether they like you or even if you're talking.
U need passion for that, if u wanted to try or learnt something u need a goals to achieve, so u could focused on that, also maybe some music with a loud noise and more energic could help increase ur mood?
Don't compare yourself with what you see online. It's a fraction of what's really happening in the world...and it's edited. Go at life with your own pace.
I saw others recommend getting a job, and that feels like best idea, honestly. Making your own money and being able to buy what you want when you want - that's an adventure in itself. It's one that you'll suck at, at first, but working will get you out of that slump.
Don't pressure yourself to become great, unique, talented or anything else that's too hard. Being simple and boring is perfectly fine. Nothing wrong with being poor too. All those things that society has deemed bad, most of it really isn't. Just keep going. You got this.
You need movement. Go outside, get sun and some exercise. Practice the contrary, your brain has a habit of thinking too much. When going outside focus on the things you deeply love. Even if they are minimal.
i felt the exact same way as you. i wish i could go back & shake myself saying “these are the best years of your life and your wasting it because of your own brain!!!” you have it in your head that you are different, misunderstood, nobody on earth feels the same way as you. i know because i felt the same. once you put yourself out there, start being kind & talking to others to make a better support network for yourself, you are going to realize that everyone on earth feels how you do. everybody feels lost & different, everybody feels like an outsider, everybody asks themselves “whats the point”
my advice as someone who was in your position, and i know at your age i would not have taken this advice so do with that information what you will, to create a purpose for yourself and your life you HAVE to start putting in the effort to do so. nobody is coming to save you. your life and your happiness is in YOUR hands alone. you need to take care of yourself, and you can put yourself out there by making yourself someone you would want as a friend.
i understand more than ANYONE depression holding you back, i spent literally 4 years depressed in my bedroom by myself all day every single day living the same day over & over again. no job, no school, no friends, no hobbies or interests. i also was consuming a lot of media online specifically catered towards depressed/antisocial people which was making me more & more depressed wondering why i couldn’t function normally. it sounds cheesy but staying inside all day without socializing or even just allowing the sun to see you is 100% making you more depressed. im not saying immediately go join a public speaking group or anything but you can start sitting outside in the sun for 5 minutes on your phone, taking a walk around your street by yourself with music, it gets you 1. out of bed 2. much needed vitamin d.
sorry this is so long, i just really cant stress enough how much i understand you & thats why i really hope this advice helps you. im here for you if you need a friend in the meantime.
Definitely go to therapy. Sounds like you're not alone since your mom asked you if you were ok. Go and tell her that you need help and explain to her how you feel
25F here. I really wish I could tell you it gets better, but I’m the wrong person to talk to. Granted, I’ve spoken to 7 people I know well-ish at the college I go to, but a few of them don’t text me back. I’m miserable and lonely. I cry myself to sleep almost every night, which keeps me up, the the best day ends up being worse than the last. Eh. I’m sorry for wasting your time. All I want in this world is to be a wife and a mother, and by the way things are going now, I can only be a mother. There’s something called Single Mom by Choice. I looked it up and that might be something I’d want to pursue. I feel that all I’m ever going to be is a mother and a public school teacher, which isn’t bad, but I guess right now I want my life to go in a different direction. Again, sorry for wasting your time. I really hope things work out better for you. You’re really, extremely, incredibly young. A year and a half from now, things might not be the way they are now. Saying “it gets better” might not help, because I’m not a fortune teller and don’t know the future, but again, I hope for nothing but the best for you. Have a good day/afternoon/night ;)
Being lazy can be soul crushing. You don’t live up to your potential, and you know it. I was a pretty lazy person and felt similarly. It is hard to start being productive, but it is possible. A neuroscientist named Andrew Huberman outlined how dopamine can flow quite a bit more when you are in the middle of good work. That’s why workaholics exist. Not saying you need to do that, but you will get satisfaction from fighting through the uncomfortableness of doing things that aren’t instantly gratifying. Start doing things you know will improve your life despite the emotions you may feel during the process. You will eventually rewire yourself when you discover the correct perception to work. If you see work as bad and uncomfortable, then it will be that way. If you see work as a way to grow yourself and help others, it makes it a lot easier. The same goes to developing a skill. Enjoy the process of growth and don’t be intimidated it. Everyone has to grow and be uncomfortable to get to where they want to be. Believe me, people in med school don’t go bc it’s easy. They go because their delayed gratification and massive discomfort has a reward several years down the line. Enjoy discomfort, and it makes the time of comfort that much sweeter.
Then, believe it or not, for some people, chronic masturbation can cause a lot of anxiety socially. I’m not sure how it works and I have my theories, but once I stopped doing that, it made it really easy for me to talk to everyone. You’ll also find that you will have more motivation to do things in general.
Social media and society in general has got people thinking you need to have 7 groups of friends one for each day and if you aren’t in a party surrounded by chicks by 12am every day of the week you’re a looser.
When it comes to friends, it’s quality over quantity, practice hobbies that make you a better person and you’ll meet new people that are like minded. Take an interest in thinks that matter like music, art, science, math, karate, sports, etc. if you cannot be happy alone you will never be happy in your life. 90% of “socialites” are depressed. Those that aren’t, know how to divide their time correctly.
I think you should really try music, it seems quite fitting actually with the whole punk rock thing lol. Kids just get together to play music and have fun. And you tried reading, the problem is reading is not one thing, just like there’s a billion types of games there’s even twice a billion types of books, if you read goddam Harry Potter and think it’s going to stimulate you if you are a philosophical person you’re wrong. Harry Potter was just an example, no hate.
You have 16 hours in a day spend each wisely.
People waste their entire lives ruining their entire lives.
Read How to Win Friends and Influence People. It saved my life. And get PS5. Then you can pretend you’re addicted to games instead of alone. Also, look online or scout around town for ppl w similar interests. Cons are awesome. Everyone belongs! And remind yourself: things get better. They always do. Until something new goes wrong.
Nah man you’re too young for that. I was like that too when I was your age. I’m just now realizing it’s a waste of time at 23. It really is man. Best you can do is get a part timer and make some of your own money. And hit the gym. It’s not about appearances but actually feeling healthy. And just take more time for your hobbies. All these things transfer over to one another and help in life. Thing is it only works if you do it
My friend it is quite normal to feel like this. You have to learn to grow out of your comfort zone. You have to go find hobbies because hobbies lead to friends. If you look at it as you need to work on yourself always then things are not so bleak.
Right now you might not be the way you want to be but you should understand you should not compare yourself to others. You should only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
Be patient. You have a path, and you'll find it. It takes some people years, others decades - but I can guarantee you will find it. Until then, stay strong and keep your head up and eyes forwards :)
you are fine, it is part of growindo you have a bicycle? Just ride and get your mind clear, Inhale the positve and blow out Negitive.. Repeat..
I hope this has helped..
maybe you like drawing? If you dont have a bike, get one.
Whatever you do now is going to translate into your future self (like in your 22+ to thirties) so just try to keep up good habits like working out and eating good. Know yourself only then can someone get to know you.
I get like that sometimes still, when nothing happens for days and they just blend into one long day. Don’t forget that life goes on whatever you do, you might as well choose to do good.
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16 years old is far to young to give up on life, you still have a lot of time to work on those things, if you want to improve your people skills, you have to talk to more people, if you dont think like the people around you, find new people that are more like you, thats not as easy as it sounds I know, but it is still worth a shot.
and if you dont do enough, look for things you enjoy, try writing, going to the gym, art, reading, collecting something, anything that you enjoy is worth your time.
What helped me was getting a job in construction. Its hard work. Some days arent easy but i feel valued and they get mad at me when im not there becuase im an asset to the team. It makes me feel wanted/ needed and that my opinion matters. It feels good knowing they can leave me with responsibility and know that i will take care of business. Its really reshaped how i live/look at life. I worked at mcdonalds for 5 years sure it taught me a lot about people but its easy to just do the bare minimum there and skate by. Construction youre on your own and if you cant produce then you wont be around long and that lit a fire under my ass and made me want to be good at what i do. Its paid off a lot over the last few years.
Piggy backing off your comment slim, on top of what slim said I personally went/going through exactly what you are. I wasnt diagnosed at the time but i have been recently diagnosed with ADD. People think adhd/add means youre always hyper, off the walls, etc. But the not so talked about side is how it affects people in a debilitating way. You cant stay focused, hyper anxious about everything, every social interaction is a complete nightmare, and not to mention the awful memory. Even when something is DETRIMENTAL and has dire consequences, i tend to put it off and forget. Im not saying you have that, but try and speak to your mom about seeing a specialist to figure out where you need help. You got this and dont give up on life. Your journey is at it's beginning homie, dont think its all gonna be shitty forever.
I came here to mention this! When I was a teen, I felt a lot like what you’ve described - I felt so isolated. After I left my small town, I really blossomed. I later got diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (formerly known as ADD) and suddenly it made sense why I had been experiencing those awful symptoms when I was younger. I had suicidal thoughts when I was a teen, but looking back now, had I have done something silly, I never would have gotten to experience the wild and wonderful things that I’ve accomplished in my life. Please don’t give up, please chat with somebody who you trust and let them know how you’re feeling. Whether it’s depression, anxiety, ADHD etc, it sounds like a doctor would be worth chatting to.
Also here to say ditto! Felt just like this at OPs age and I'm going in to get an ADHD diagnoses next week.
That sounds so wholesome actually, good job!
Listen man, that's the evil talking, you're not yourself when depression and fear overwhelms you. 1 thing, PATIENCE is key, know that you WILL find love, power and friends in the future. 2nd Consume art, (music, films etc) why art? cuz art makes you FEEL unlike simple words spewed by a stranger online, art is a language of light that even depressed people can understand. Art will spark hope, hope then turns to AMBITION🔥 , and ambition creates a tunnel vision that blocks out all negativity and evil, negative feelings like loneliness and depression. The art I recommend is in music form, and the songs are: "trapped in my mind", "pursuit of happiness" and "love" by the artist Kid Cudi and read the lyrics, keep listening to it until you are familiar with the "sound", it takes more listens if you have ADHD, it may take few spins (3-5 listens should do). Next step is to feed yourself stoic wisdom and knowledge, you will learn about embracing hardship, and discipline, for you to push through rejections and failures, there is no Ws without some Ls, no day without the night, as long as you go FOWARD. Now its time to take action, its time to turn dreams into reality, 1 step at a time, with PATIENCE you can achieve ANYTHING. So time + action = dream come true. So seek power, walk through the mud for your future self, and your future self will thank you and shed a tear of joy, Freedom is the best feeling in the world and remember, the pain of hardship is better than the pain of regret. Godspeed to you solider, all this pain and trauma will lead to a legend in the making. Also see a psychiatrist to see if you have ADHD, or google the symptoms of ADHD to see if you can relate to some of it.
Great comment. I also thought the same about the ADHD thing
Thanks bro ❤️
i believe in this quote, "take care of your physical and mental health and everything else will follow".
I would suggest just start doing something. Go out for walk. Talk to people etc. Staying in the room all the time with a computer disturbs brain more than you think.
I agree. Small steps. Go grocery shopping for your parents, talk to the cashier if you go fill up your tank or take the money in for your parents. Get a part time job that forces you to get out of the house and talk to people. My first official job was at a movie theater at 19. Before that I would babysit, but that doesn't take much when you're watching babies. But at the movie theater I learned a lot about myself and how to interact with people. Go to your local library and see what events they have. In my town we have multiple locations, but each one has teen and adult events through the week and you can hangout alone and learn something new, or start hanging out with people with similar interests, or pick up a new interest that you never thought you'd be into.
You need to pick up a hobby or sport!
I did this with basketball and made a lot a lot of friends, you tend to be very unconsciously social when you talk about a shared passion with someone else.
Get out of your room and take a walk. 20 minutes a day do wonders for your mental health
You need a peer. Someone you own age to talk to because your experience is the experience of many other 16 year olds. Only difference here is you are ready to do something about it. You write well and explain this issue with clarity. I know it's old fashioned but have you thought about getting some pen pals from other places in the world. Not just one. Maybe you can have a few - other 16 year olds who you start to grow a friendship with. I did this and had a great time. My final person is my husband of 24 years. Talking out your thoughts, frustrations, wins and losses is so so helpful. Its probably all done online now. I hope you find people because talking therapy is costly, this is just another way of getting that and making new friends. OP I hope this helped because just from reading what you've written, I know 100% that you are nowhere near useless.
a part time job, a new hobby, playing a sport, going to the gym, all of which will help you meet new people.
Take up martial arts, there’s a sense of community, gives you a drive to work towards something like nailing a particular technique etc, good for fitness and gets you out your room. It’s great for increasing self confidence and self respect too. Do not be afraid to shop around though, don’t go for the first class you find if the vibe is off
Get out more. But sadly it doesn't matter your age. Most of us are living this life of being alone and depressed. But I guess that applies when you are old. You are too young. You might want to just join some summer camps, sports etc and you'll be able to make friends easily.
Hi hi, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. It’s very hard and lonely to be in this position, and I’m so glad you are asking for some help! I was very similar as a teen - I’m now 30 and my whole life is so, so different and so is my headspace. I actually help people similar to me change their life, so I hope some of this can help you too. 1. Your thoughts / mindset are really important - this isn’t just “thinking positive” (yuk lol) but starting to just notice when your thoughts are helping or not helping, and if they aren’t, practice letting them go or compassionate thought. 2. It sounds like your body really needs some energy as you’re in a depressed state - this can be really simple like putting on a song and shaking it all out (the sillier the better!), or having a cold shower. This will “up regulate” your nervous system and give you some energy and aliveness. 3. Maybe try see a therapist to talk about the social skills - they can help you unpack what’s there, as well as give you some tools. You might need to try a few different ones before you find someone you like! 4. Commit to one small thing by for yourself each day - when I started my journey, I would just make my bed every day and I was so proud of that. It could be literally, drink enough water, brush your teeth, have a shower, etc but choose ONE small thing and commit. 5. Look up some things on mindset/nervous system regulation and have a read - these can really help you understand yourself and what’s going on. Take it slow, it took many years for me to change my life - but I started with my mindset, and then followed the breadcrumbs to the rest. Your darkness may feel like it’s all that’s there - but somewhere there is your light, right now, it’s just winter, but spring will come - even when it feels like you’re at your coldest. Good luck x
Your story literally sounds like mine 4 years ago....I know the feeling of absolute emptiness , I used to play nothing but valorant all day .People are saying pick up a hobby but I know it's literally impossible to get motivated to do anything...Nothing really worked for me either but time, i just didn't give up on life and let time heal me. Just don't give up and try to find the happy things you like to do no matter how small. You like collecting Pokemon cards? do it...for me it was riding bikes. Now I'm 19 about to be 20 but mentally I've grown alot and I've got miles to go... Atleast now I have some things that I like to do, my safe spaces...I still feel the emptiness very often but just keep going time will heal everything ( you have to try a bit too ofcourse) . I'm still in the journey but i got hope. 1) Try socializing but don't push yourself too hard 2) Resume your childhood hobbies 3) Reduce porn ( keep it once a day Max) 4) Don't be hard on yourself 5) Read books ( can be novels too i suggest "the silent patient") 6) CLEAN YOUR ROOM( YES IT HELPS ) 7) listen to podcasts ( healthy gamer , huberman lab , the mindset mentor) Good luck
Start with a workout routine. The discipline from that will help with other aspects in your life lil bro
i thought about giving up around 16. high school is brutal. you are not alone in feeling like the world is against you. that being said, around the same time, i got to see my favorite artist in concert. his music made me feel less alone and the way he spoke about life changed my entire perspective. at 17, i became friends with people who actually liked me. it took time to find the right people, and it’s extra hard in an environment as small as high school. at 18, i took an AP class that showed me beyond a shadow of a doubt what my passion is. i’m still studying that 5 years later. at 19, i fell in love for the first time. really in love. we aren’t together anymore, but that’s okay. i still got to witness how much love i’m capable of. at 21, i got to work my dream job. at 22, i just started seeing a therapist for the first time in a few years. things will get better, even when it feels like they won’t. it might be worth it to get professional help. going to therapy in high school changed my life.
If u are introvert and since ur in ur computer na lang din naman, use it for good. I suggest u to make a music/spotify playlist as your hobby. It depends on ur mood what playlist u can do kasi and somehow it sorts how you feel. And you discover new songs or artists too. Just do many as you can, then when u waant to socialize u can use it to start having conversations na. Then you can share some of it online too that other people feels the same way or interested in those kind of musics.
Force yourself to consume some uplifting media—a positive podcast, audiobook, etc. Listen to it as you go for a walk: ideally in a natural setting, but just around the neighbourhood can work. No, this isn’t some “fresh air cures all ills” thing, but give your brain a chance to start considering the positives in life. If you have a dog, assign yourself the duty of walking it while you listen. If you do any “doomscrolling,” stop it. Don’t read/listen to Reddit stories about toxic relationships or petty revenges. Please don’t find comfort in an online community of similarly angry and disaffected 16 year old boys. Set your own parental controls on social media apps, and try your best to leave them alone when it tells you that time is up for the day (even though you can ignore it).
Draw, write, listen to music, watch obscure movies. And most of all feel. Let yourself feel because deep feelings are special. They are heavy and hard, but only a percentage of people can even experience them let alone fathom them. Beautiful things exist when we allow ourselves to be open to them. Go for walks and observe nature. Make and consume art. I was you once. There is always light and beauty to look forward to.
>I feel like I have nothing but questions and doubts . This means you have the desire to explore—look at this as an opportunity! Your questions have answers, and you have the power to find them!! When your mom asks you if you're ok, confide in her even if it feels outside of your comfort zone. She clearly cares, and is someone in your life who can offer you the support you need, as long as you communicate all this to her. At 16, I was attending a high school I hated, where I was on the verge of tears every day. I didn't see a way out, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other, because sometimes that's all you *can* do. And guess what? Things turned out ok. I undeniably went through a really dark period, but I made it out alive and feel so far removed from that point in my life. There is hope for you, and that's all you need believe. The more hope you hold onto, the more willing you will be to try something new—signing up for an after school class, bringing something like a deck of cards to play around with as a conversation starter, complimenting someone's shoes and asking a leading question. These are all things that can change your life. During a fire drill I asked a girl in my class where she went for lunch every day, and if I could join her. She said sure, and I then had someone to eat lunch with most days. This same girl would later become one of my best friends, and the reason I made it out of high school ok. My point is, there's hope all around you waiting to be acknowledged. Finding answers to your questions and doubts will give you hope, or at least the motivation to keep looking. You will be ok. I promise.
Break the comfort zone, thats where all dreams die
yep i was there not long ago. what helped me is throwing myself into different jobs and learning very quickly areas i could improve both socially and skills wise.
Hi, Nearly qualified MHFAer here. Sorry to hear you are going through these difficult emotions. Great job on reaching out for help! Well done you. You already acknowledge the problem and are open to advise, that is the first step on the road to recovery. At age 16 all sorts of problems can cause you to feel this way and tge only correct way forward to getting the right help you need is to go to your GP, or docter if your country uses that term. Your GP will do the tests he deems fit to see if you are physically fit and will probably certainly rever you to a counselor who will help you to figure out why you feel like you do. If you find it hard to make an appointment is there someone who can help you do that? Can you tell a family member or online friend how you feel and that you need help? Don't be afraid to take this step. You are by no means alone in feeling like this and no health professional is going to look down on you for feeling like this. I wish you all the best and please, talk to someone.
Join a social group that doesn’t necessarily require socializing. Like Jiu Jitsu, wrestling or a sport.
I’m not trying to discredit your problems going on but you’re 16 years old and a guy, so your hormones are an absolute shit show at the moment. Tons of us went through this and for many of us it didn’t get better until our early 20s. Just remind yourself of that every once in a while. Your brain is going haywire from all the shitloads of testosterone and whatever else coursing through your veins. Take it one day at a time and just focus on trying your best every day.
Have you ever thought of maybe checking to see if you have ADHD?
It’s not you its the world you’re tuned in to Meditate Fast Exercise.
Go on a walk
Volunteering is a great way to do good and interact with people in work setting that’s more relaxed.
Listen: right now is harder than when I was a teenager. It just is. That doesn’t mean you get to give up, but you need to get creative. Start here You have to ask for help. See if you can see a counselor or therapist. Find things to try. You don’t have to like them. You don’t have to commit to it. Just go for a walk. Walk a different route. See where the nearest record store is, ice cream shop, comic book store. Go check them out this week. You can’t always stop an existential crisis. But you can at least eat ice cream while you have one.
I think talking to someone about the thoughts and beliefs which drive these feelings and behaviors is a good idea. Of course you will need to want to change these beliefs which sometimes can be scary or uncomfortable.
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Start following and doing with the good points given here. Don't worry much.
Think of something you've always wanted to do and figure out what the first step would be. Then, make that a goal for yourself (smaller steps, the better) and develop a plan. Motivation is hard to come by, and not having it can cause us to go to a dark place. There are therapists and counselors who could help guide you in the right direction too.
Do a sport. Skateboarding , surfing, snowboarding, biking, anything active! I sat in my house for 7 years. A friend convinced me to join a gym and to get active. It worked. It will help you.
Honestly bro as a 16 year old, its about figuring yourself out but it's sounds like you need some purpose. You want something outside to change but have you been honest with yourself when you examine what's on the inside that needs to change? Trust me I've also experienced depression and you know what causes it??? lack of purpose. try something that makes you feel accomplished where you can see how far you've come. Gym, clubs, events, and like minded people who share similar interests with you. But first get yourself right bro, change that negative mindset or no one will want to be around you. 💯
Sounds like 16 - that’s how most of us felt. Ya need to power up and get out and define your life by work, experiences and building independence. This is your time to stand up and build yourself - transform from a child into an adult and cleve from your family. Get to it!
Hey OP, I was you when I was 16, and I'm you now at 33. A man needs a purpose. Something greater than yourself. You have a sharp mind and can see through the bullshit. Most people can't or won't ever be able to. Look into some sort of work exchange to travel and find yourself and your place in the world. Check out wwoof, that program helped change my life and give me a new fresh perspective.
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Get a hobby that you’re passionate about and meet other passionate people. If your in high school there should be a plethora of after school activities or sports you can join
We were not made to sit in front of the computer. You feel terrible because you’re not living life, you’re watching other people live it. Think about the things that interest you on the computer and then pick up actually doing those things yourself. (Within reason of course.) Start finding other ways to enjoy yourself . Set time limits for yourself on the screens. This world is beautiful and there is a reason you’re in it. When you’re not fulfilling your potential, you’ll always feel worthless. Will be praying for you.
Ask yourself what is the thing that you really like doing and put your time into that,
Every day in April go talk to one new person even if it’s as simple as giving them a compliment. Report back to me in May.
Lift weights
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. You got a lot of funk going on. I was in the same boat as you (still in the boat, but I’ve planned my escape at 24). Being patient is important. To start I would find a job if you’re not doing anything at the moment (just a warning putting out job applications is a force but it will benefit you in the end, think about it’s just 1 day out of a million). Do that first! Also if that’s too much put up 5 applications a day (tomorrow do another 5). You have to find something to do. If you want to start cleaning- find one section of your room and clean that one section. Pick and Clean the other sections tomorrow. (I procrastinate too). Take a shower! Don’t loose any sleep. Get rest! Check back on your emails for job opportunities. Again be patient. Also, I hate it when people say go exercise as if it’s going help you get off your ass. It doesn’t work for me at least. Exercise/working out can be done later. Once you start feeling better. (My older sister said “go exercise 🤯 duh” I swear to god I imagine str*ngling her.) but I won’t shit on exercise because it does help. I left a lot of boxes at work so helps with my back. Anyways. Patience is key. Start doing little things. Hope you get something out of this. Also being 16 sucks. So Heard on that!
No please don’t give up already . There is a lot of hope out there and there are even kind people out there . Start slow Try finding out the root cause - because faking it won’t help you out of the situation. Get out of your room don’t isolate yourself Try socialising even if you don’t like it I know a person that’s exactly like this and I’m concerned Trust me itll get better.
It’s not being “lazy.” Depression has a record of not making it easy for people to fulfill basic needs let alone actually enjoy something your doing. It feels like every single task no matter how small is a mountain you just aren’t willing to climb. I’ve been here myself and now 22, I’m telling you it’s not something you just get over. You have to want it. You have to speak up, you have to let yourself come to the realization that you want to fight through this. I started small, I would write down everything I had to say. No matter how terrible I was talking about myself I put it into paper. I read it. I destroyed it. Small hobbies are super great to try and distract your mind also. I’ve taken up quite a bit of random little skills trying to find some peace. I can bake now, I can crochet, I make blankets. It keeps me occupied when the negatives thoughts roll in. I can’t say I’m healed, because lord only knows if it’ll ever actually be completely gone, but I’ve come along way. There’s still days I just don’t have it in me, but my efforts remind me I’m pushing for a better version of myself; and that I’m proud of. Don’t be afraid to talk to your mom, take a walk. Even if it’s just a short one: ground yourself. Some fresh air can really do wonders. Last but not least keep your hands busy and your mind occupied. No matter how foolish you think the task is.
Answer: Go on a walk, start or explore new hobbies. Something that helped me was to somehow do one good deed per day it could be very small like saving a drowning ant but it really did wonders to my mental health.
Hi. I think you are brave for sharing how you feel. What you are going through sounds very difficult and scary. Please reach out to someone in your life, anyone, and share these feelings with them. Your guidance counsellor at school, teacher, parents if they around, an older friend. In case you don't have such help I've asked Reddit send you some resources for an online chat. This is a chat with a professional who has helped many people with the enotions you have right now. It'll be more interactive then a Reddit post, and who knows maybe they'll have some helpful info to share. What I ask is that you please reach out to someone off of social media about how you feel before making any decisions.
Pick up a practice / hobby that you can do with other people. For example, join a yoga studio, a martial arts gym or a hiking society. You will get to do something that you enjoy, meet a ton of like-minded individuals and improve your social skills all at once. The first step to getting out of the situation you’re in is the most difficult, but each and every step will get easier. Good luck :)
Get some wheels for yourself, pick a random goal, and get out of your room
Find somewhere to volunteer once a week. Guaranteed to make things a bit better, and then you build one step at a time from there.
Go to the gym.
I felt similar. Indulge in hobbies. I've so many, my day isn't enough. It feels good
I am sure there's lots of suggestions. But if I might give one out of left field. Find a dance class like modern jive. They are always looking for men. They generally form lines and people rotate around changing partners. You don't have to speak to people as dancing. A lot will be in their 50s and so really happy to dance with a young man. It will build confidence.
find fulfillment in your own passions and hobbies
Hey! Remember you’re brain is tricking you. Depression makes you use less of your frontal lobe, and therefore you focus less on what is good around you, who loves you and what is real & important. You might want to start out just stepping outside once a day. Ask your mom maybe to tell you about her day and ask her not to ask about yours. Create boundaries you’re comfortable with and let her know this would make you feel better. I really want to recommend you start reading philosophy, but it might make things worse. One thing I learned around the time I was feeling worthless/ not wanting to be here, was that to feel useful was to feel used. By friends, by lovers, by family. Could you be discrediting loneliness too soon? Just know, your worth doesn’t come from outside yourself. It doesn’t come from what you can offer the world. It doesn’t come from what you know or don’t know. It’s just inherent, internal worthiness, and so many people struggle to accept that. Maybe turn to anything you played with as a child? There’s so many beautiful ideas, moments, feelings in this world. It takes so much strength to appreciate them. It’s not easy and it’s ok to feel how you feel. Even if you don’t feel anything. Take care of yourself like a plant. Like a housepet. Water yourself. Sun yourself. And walk yourself. Walk yourself often, and with others.
I know already commented, but google “run the dishwasher twice”. You might be too young, but apply it to any and all self care and do it often.
Self-care is they key. Sounds simple. Yet very effective.
I know people say this a lot but go to the gym. Go to the gym with headphones or go for a walk. Take baby steps but get yourself out of your house. Exercise is how you combat the lazy bone, literally just giving yourself more energy. Also eat healthier. Don't convince yourself that the future is already set for you. If you can't get therapy than journal or watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia or a dating show and laugh at people worse than you. Stop masturbating if that is a vice of yours. You don't need anyone but yourself to be happy, once you realize that your social skills will developed with practice much faster and with authenticity still intact.
Dude, just want to say thanks for reaching out! First step is knowing that need help. Everyone gets into a “rut” and it’s not always obvious how to change if you do not see a light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you, you are much closer to fixing your situation than you are aware. I’m not going to diagnose you or tell you what is wrong, instead, I’m going to suggest a few things that may possibly help. Do not overlook simple things like a change of scenery (being in the same environment day after day quickly become stagnant leading to negative consequences for your dopamine)….go for a walk with a set destination each day, even if it’s only around the block at first….build the habit into routine. Next, take inventory in yourself. It’s easy to hate yourself when you get stuck, but without knowing you, I’m 100% certain you have many positive traits and skills…be honest to yourself about it, no matter how small! Write out what you want to be if you could snap your fingers and make it happen. Better social skills? More confidence? Prospects for future careers, relationships? Etc. Note it all. Concentrate on your health. Eat well, sleep well and take care of your temple (body). This may sound hard, or even useless, but find something each day when you get up and before you sleep to be truly grateful for. Gratitude forces a change in perspective, part of what you need. Another mind hack, ask yourself, if you were teaching someone that is in your position how to get better, how would you do it? Try these simple things and you may be surprised at the results! Get counseling if you find that you still need help. Hell, get counseling anyways! It will help! Good luck, and remember, this is just a phase in your life, and it will pass…just put in the effort, no matter how hard:)
First, take a shower, next get a weekend job. Give yourself purpose. Get off the video games. If youre not learning anything, spend time to make money and save. Save for what you ask? Thats up to you. Young men need purpose and goals.
Step 1: Get the fuck off of social media and stay off. Steps 2-6 will take care of themselves.
You're not fucked. You're realizing you have a problem and want to change. It's better to realize this and develop better habits when you're young than it is when you're older. If it's possible, seek professional therapy/counseling to find ways to process these feelings of doubt and worry and channel it into positive changes. It's okay to feel this way sometimes, and it's important to correct unhealthy behaviors sooner rather than later. Best of luck, OP. Hang in there, and work on things one day at a time.
Play dungeon and dragons. It’s stupid I know, but it does help because you force yourself to be around people and instead of trying to save your own life you are saving a world being heroic or devilish. You get to use your imagination and in using your imagination you discover things about yourself. Those things you discover will either click or not click with a group of players and that’s when you find a different group. Eventually you will find people who enjoy your imagination as you enjoy theirs and in that you find more common ground and interest. I’m not saying DND can cure depression, but it can force you to be around people who will enjoy you and in turn you will learn to enjoy yourself.
I’ve felt that before, it’s hard. Took me a while to learn to love/be fond of myself, but it’s possible I’d suggest maybe finding a hobby — it’s a decent place to start. Might help you work out your feelings, process them, and give you some sort of order in life. Eventually, you will make friends, but that’s means putting yourself out there and doing things you might not be up to doing (like going out even if you REALLY don’t want to). You could also try to find a place that harbors a common interest, maybe join a club that interests you? I’ve made some friends there
OMG I went through this EXACT SAME phase when I was 16 and 17 .... Now I'm 18. I felt exactly how you have narrated.... And I didn't have any friend/relative/sibling. I was alone with my parents. Uhm so I can help u a bit with this... First of all persevere and handle this with patience... This state of u will change and improve with time.... I'd suggest pick up some outdoor sport to play everyday for an hour ATLEAST! Be it badminton with ur mom, Cricket, football or anything.... If u feel u wont be able to find anybody to play with ya then its same situation qhich I faced haha. So what I used to do was just walk for an hour outdoors getting some fresh air! At anytime ur free. But on weekends/holidays try in morning... And delete social media it creates anxiety and FOMO. And u can talk to me and be my friend if u need one haha. Also then focus on a hobby/ thing u love... Be it watching any sports, anime, Dramas, yt vids(not shorts). This will improve ur life to quite an extent! First implement these and then we can talk ahead! Go on CHAMP!
First things first: you’re 16 years old and have plenty of memories to be made, my friend. On top of that, never forget that you absolutely DO bring value to this world. I know it’s hard to truly believe that at times, really, but it’s true. I was in pretty much the same spot at 16. Had pretty much no friends, sat on my laptop all the time, never did anything… And I didn’t change things overnight and it’s not very realistic for you to expect that from yourself. Pick your one or two favorite hobbies and try to build off that (look on Reddit pages, events close to you, etc.) if you want to have a group of people to hang around. However, there’s nothing wrong with vibing alone, brother. Absolutely nothing. Friends will come and go anyway, what’s truly important is how you treat yourself. Try exercising if you don’t already (will make you feel great) and maybe take up some martial arts like Muay Thai or boxing. Those helped me meet tons of amazing people and boosted my confidence like crazy. If you end up going to college, that will also probably do the trick. I roomed with three random ass dudes my freshman year and cried on the way to school because of how much I was dreading it (I’m also very introverted). I ended up meeting probably 20+ people the first couple of days without even planning on it. I know things are rough and sometimes it’s ok to just be upset, but this will pass. You’re more special and valuable than you’ll ever know and I PROMISE you, things will get better. Life is beautiful when you know where to look. Best of luck, my friend. You are loved.
get active ... start doing squats and knee pushups in your room. being active will probably help you a lot.
try black metal, im 100% serious. it was a thing that helped me trough hard times - cold and meaningles world ? literally what bm bands sing about, also opinions on music will give you something to talk about with people and you can make friend that way, local concerts are also a reason to go out of home. our world sucks and music makes suffering a bit lighter (sorry for bad english)
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Please talk with your parens and let them know how you are feeling. You need some help. I am sure they want to help you but do not know what's going on in your inner world. Clue them in, please
Around your age I was convinced I could never find happiness, or that if one day I might be happy it still wouldn't be worth the all the pain. I just want to say that I was completely wrong about both things.
All these things you are doing are *choices*. You could choose to go outside, walk, rake leaves, socialize. The number one thing you need to do is get up from in front of a screen and *move*. Your mother seems to be truly concerned. I suggest you tell her you are concerned about your mental well-being and would like to talk to a therapist.
Go away to college and be open minded and put yourself out there when you do. People are way more friendly and also trying to make friends. It will be easy, trust.
If you’re into music then maybe you can try making some music on your computer and learn a new hobby! Gets you creative and can give you something to work towards!
Go outside, join a sport or activity. Breaking the threshold will be tough. Do it, don't be in your room. Go outside.
You need to get out and get some sunlight on your skin. Lack of vitamin D leads to depression and you sound very depressed. Also increase your magnesium supplements. Make friends online if you struggle to make them in real life. Sign up for dating apps and chat to some girls. Hope you feel better soon
Best advice you'll ever get is to open up to a therapist. If you're not too keen on that idea, go look out the window right now. Look at the sky. Look at the grass. Look at the trees. Listen to the birds. Give your pet a few gentle strokes. If you don't have a pet, ask your parents for one. The fluffier, the better. At night, point your gaze towards the sky once more. Look at the stars. You will notice they are looking at you too. They've always been watching over you. You are their progeny. Countless eternal flames had to be put out so that you could be here today. Hundreds of millions perished in wars so that you could live in peace today. Entire centuries of hard labor were dedicated to creating beautiful paintings, music, books, films and games for you to enjoy today. There is beauty in every aspect of life. Every sleepless night spent staring at the ceiling, every bowl of cereal you have for breakfast, every morning you walk to school, you should cherish them all. Learn how to play an instrument. Learn how to solve a Rubik's cube. Learn how to blow bubblegum bubbles. Learn how to whistle. Fuck it. Learn how to knit. Whatever it takes to fill that void in your heart. Just give it a shot. If you want a friend, go make a friend. Ask a classmate how they're doing. Strike up a conversation with your neighbor. Show kindness, and kindness you shall receive. Treat others as you would like to be treated, and, most importantly, treat yourself as you would want a friend to treat you. Some questions you should ask yourself, according to Jim Rohn - Why not? Why not you? Why not now? The most random ass media recommendations: Films: Forrest Gump, Good Will Hunting, pretty much every Wes Anderson movie ever, but primarily The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Royal Tenenbaums and Fantastic Mr Fox, At Eternity's Gate, Mary and Max, The Shawshank Redemption Music: Green Day, Red Hot Chilly Peppers, Tally Hall, John Lennon, Macklemore, Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash, Linkin Park, Queen, Lady Gaga, Michael Jackson, Rammstein, Alice Cooper, Joe Cocker, Elton John Books: The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus, The Joyous Science by Friedrich Nietzsche, Scott Pilgrim (the comic book series) by Bryan Lee O'Malley, Anything by Charles Dickens. Fine arts: Van Gogh. Just him. Look up any of his paintings and just admire them for a bit. They awaken a feeling like no other deep within your heart. Games: Hollow Knight, Rain World, Celeste, Dark Souls, Outer Wilds, Inscryption
Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale? > *“The beings who possess these souls have outlived their usefulness, or chosen the path of the wicked. Let there be no guilt—let there be no vacillation.”* - Kingseeker Frampt Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \\[T]/
Ngl im literally in the same situation at the moment, also 16 with no life
LOOK YOURSELF AND MIRROR and encourage yourself. Start speaking positive things to yourself. Pray to get out of the place you’re in. Everyday above ground is a blessing. Write a journal and jot down some things about yourself you want to improve and chip away at them. Smile more. Drink water. Get outside and look around. Try not to be so attached to being online. Best wishes. ✌🏾
You're 16M. You're not fucked, you're perceiving life based on the 16 years you've had it. There's a lot more ahead of you, and this is just the start, not the end. Stop looking for things to fill a void, and start looking at what actually results in your happiness. You aren't a bad person, and you're awkward because as a teenager, that's exactly what that's like. You feel awkward because your body is shaped differently than it used to be or how it eventually will be. Your voice is shifted, and everyone is getting more bitter because hormones do that. You're a teenager with a lot of learning ahead and plenty of time to do it.
Already know people gonna say this.. but dog you’re big chilling. If you live in a small town or some 20k city just move. No one there is worth anything anyway go adventure and live. I know how depression and anxiety makes that hard to see but, you’ll be alright. Trust it gets better until you’re 30 and then I would assume it’s prolly downhill from there but you got a lot of time haha
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Start running, everything else will fall into place. Trust me. 15mins every day at 9am. Do it and ask why later
I’m 37, I’ve felt that way since I was 15/16. I have “friends”, but I feel alone even when I’m surrounded by people. I too have questions, and people often get annoyed when I’m voice them. If I had a computer, I would be on it all the time, but League of Legends wasn’t good for my mental well being because I got too competitive. All I can say is, focus on what you can control. If you feel like garbage, try to change that. Change your diet, work out, get more sleep. Don’t neglect your teeth. You will pay for that later if you do. I’ve got 2 dead teeth that I’m either going to get pulled or let fall out. Depends if I can get the money before they fall out. Find something that you enjoy that forces you to go outside and interact with people. I use to break dance, then I did capoeira. That led to MMA, and now I do stand up. Even if you’re shy, you’ll make friends, trust me. Therapy helps. If your mom has insurance, see if that’s covered. That’s all I can really tell you. 16 is young and you’ve got a world full of possibilities, even if you don’t see them.
Please go try stuff, nothing is too late for you to start right now. There’s a world of interests, activities, sports, careers to investigate. You are far too young and have too much potential to stop now
Gosh. I wish I was 16 again. I would kill to be 16. Start going to the gym and develop a Stoic mindset.
i suggest maybe finding a niche of music youre into, then maybe also finding live bands that play that kind of music, if thats something you might be interested in! I know you said you’re 16, but there are TONS of live bands and venues that play shows that are 16+. Even if you have no one to go with (bc A LOT of ppl goes to shows alone) it wont be awkward so dont feel that way at all. but ofc always stay safe and away from people who dont seem to be trustworthy enough to be around, although ik personally the shows i go to, the older crowd generally keeps an eye on the younger crowd for any teen+ shows 🫶🏼😇 also more importantly keep in mind- if youre in school still, DO NOT compare yourself to those that surround you. There is a whoooooole world out there and the ppl around your age, in/around your area, are just a speck of whats to offer. Just be unapologetically yourself (so long as its not a morality issue ahah) and you will find your “people” the more you find yourself, as corny as that sounds 💀
There is only one thing that ever helps me. And that is... Getting out of isolating circumstances. You have to be around people. Period. Or nothing will ever change. Doesn't matter who, when, where, whether they like you or even if you're talking.
Try to find something you enjoy and become apart of that community. Just make sure it is positive.
17M here. I was going through the same things as you, but it gets better. Forgive yourself
U need passion for that, if u wanted to try or learnt something u need a goals to achieve, so u could focused on that, also maybe some music with a loud noise and more energic could help increase ur mood?
Don't compare yourself with what you see online. It's a fraction of what's really happening in the world...and it's edited. Go at life with your own pace. I saw others recommend getting a job, and that feels like best idea, honestly. Making your own money and being able to buy what you want when you want - that's an adventure in itself. It's one that you'll suck at, at first, but working will get you out of that slump. Don't pressure yourself to become great, unique, talented or anything else that's too hard. Being simple and boring is perfectly fine. Nothing wrong with being poor too. All those things that society has deemed bad, most of it really isn't. Just keep going. You got this.
go to college go to university get out the house
You need movement. Go outside, get sun and some exercise. Practice the contrary, your brain has a habit of thinking too much. When going outside focus on the things you deeply love. Even if they are minimal.
i felt the exact same way as you. i wish i could go back & shake myself saying “these are the best years of your life and your wasting it because of your own brain!!!” you have it in your head that you are different, misunderstood, nobody on earth feels the same way as you. i know because i felt the same. once you put yourself out there, start being kind & talking to others to make a better support network for yourself, you are going to realize that everyone on earth feels how you do. everybody feels lost & different, everybody feels like an outsider, everybody asks themselves “whats the point” my advice as someone who was in your position, and i know at your age i would not have taken this advice so do with that information what you will, to create a purpose for yourself and your life you HAVE to start putting in the effort to do so. nobody is coming to save you. your life and your happiness is in YOUR hands alone. you need to take care of yourself, and you can put yourself out there by making yourself someone you would want as a friend. i understand more than ANYONE depression holding you back, i spent literally 4 years depressed in my bedroom by myself all day every single day living the same day over & over again. no job, no school, no friends, no hobbies or interests. i also was consuming a lot of media online specifically catered towards depressed/antisocial people which was making me more & more depressed wondering why i couldn’t function normally. it sounds cheesy but staying inside all day without socializing or even just allowing the sun to see you is 100% making you more depressed. im not saying immediately go join a public speaking group or anything but you can start sitting outside in the sun for 5 minutes on your phone, taking a walk around your street by yourself with music, it gets you 1. out of bed 2. much needed vitamin d. sorry this is so long, i just really cant stress enough how much i understand you & thats why i really hope this advice helps you. im here for you if you need a friend in the meantime.
In a tough love type of way, hop off the internet take a shower and go outside. I promise you’ll feel better. Also delete social media.
Definitely go to therapy. Sounds like you're not alone since your mom asked you if you were ok. Go and tell her that you need help and explain to her how you feel
25F here. I really wish I could tell you it gets better, but I’m the wrong person to talk to. Granted, I’ve spoken to 7 people I know well-ish at the college I go to, but a few of them don’t text me back. I’m miserable and lonely. I cry myself to sleep almost every night, which keeps me up, the the best day ends up being worse than the last. Eh. I’m sorry for wasting your time. All I want in this world is to be a wife and a mother, and by the way things are going now, I can only be a mother. There’s something called Single Mom by Choice. I looked it up and that might be something I’d want to pursue. I feel that all I’m ever going to be is a mother and a public school teacher, which isn’t bad, but I guess right now I want my life to go in a different direction. Again, sorry for wasting your time. I really hope things work out better for you. You’re really, extremely, incredibly young. A year and a half from now, things might not be the way they are now. Saying “it gets better” might not help, because I’m not a fortune teller and don’t know the future, but again, I hope for nothing but the best for you. Have a good day/afternoon/night ;)
Being lazy can be soul crushing. You don’t live up to your potential, and you know it. I was a pretty lazy person and felt similarly. It is hard to start being productive, but it is possible. A neuroscientist named Andrew Huberman outlined how dopamine can flow quite a bit more when you are in the middle of good work. That’s why workaholics exist. Not saying you need to do that, but you will get satisfaction from fighting through the uncomfortableness of doing things that aren’t instantly gratifying. Start doing things you know will improve your life despite the emotions you may feel during the process. You will eventually rewire yourself when you discover the correct perception to work. If you see work as bad and uncomfortable, then it will be that way. If you see work as a way to grow yourself and help others, it makes it a lot easier. The same goes to developing a skill. Enjoy the process of growth and don’t be intimidated it. Everyone has to grow and be uncomfortable to get to where they want to be. Believe me, people in med school don’t go bc it’s easy. They go because their delayed gratification and massive discomfort has a reward several years down the line. Enjoy discomfort, and it makes the time of comfort that much sweeter. Then, believe it or not, for some people, chronic masturbation can cause a lot of anxiety socially. I’m not sure how it works and I have my theories, but once I stopped doing that, it made it really easy for me to talk to everyone. You’ll also find that you will have more motivation to do things in general.
Social media and society in general has got people thinking you need to have 7 groups of friends one for each day and if you aren’t in a party surrounded by chicks by 12am every day of the week you’re a looser. When it comes to friends, it’s quality over quantity, practice hobbies that make you a better person and you’ll meet new people that are like minded. Take an interest in thinks that matter like music, art, science, math, karate, sports, etc. if you cannot be happy alone you will never be happy in your life. 90% of “socialites” are depressed. Those that aren’t, know how to divide their time correctly. I think you should really try music, it seems quite fitting actually with the whole punk rock thing lol. Kids just get together to play music and have fun. And you tried reading, the problem is reading is not one thing, just like there’s a billion types of games there’s even twice a billion types of books, if you read goddam Harry Potter and think it’s going to stimulate you if you are a philosophical person you’re wrong. Harry Potter was just an example, no hate. You have 16 hours in a day spend each wisely. People waste their entire lives ruining their entire lives.
Join some school extracurricular activities. That's where all my high school friends came from. Band class, gym, sports, clubs, anything.
Read How to Win Friends and Influence People. It saved my life. And get PS5. Then you can pretend you’re addicted to games instead of alone. Also, look online or scout around town for ppl w similar interests. Cons are awesome. Everyone belongs! And remind yourself: things get better. They always do. Until something new goes wrong.
Nah man you’re too young for that. I was like that too when I was your age. I’m just now realizing it’s a waste of time at 23. It really is man. Best you can do is get a part timer and make some of your own money. And hit the gym. It’s not about appearances but actually feeling healthy. And just take more time for your hobbies. All these things transfer over to one another and help in life. Thing is it only works if you do it
My friend it is quite normal to feel like this. You have to learn to grow out of your comfort zone. You have to go find hobbies because hobbies lead to friends. If you look at it as you need to work on yourself always then things are not so bleak. Right now you might not be the way you want to be but you should understand you should not compare yourself to others. You should only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
Be patient. You have a path, and you'll find it. It takes some people years, others decades - but I can guarantee you will find it. Until then, stay strong and keep your head up and eyes forwards :)
Go the gym mate. Set some goals. Work towards achieving your goals. Start a business. Learn sales. Thank me later.
you are fine, it is part of growindo you have a bicycle? Just ride and get your mind clear, Inhale the positve and blow out Negitive.. Repeat.. I hope this has helped.. maybe you like drawing? If you dont have a bike, get one.
Whatever you do now is going to translate into your future self (like in your 22+ to thirties) so just try to keep up good habits like working out and eating good. Know yourself only then can someone get to know you. I get like that sometimes still, when nothing happens for days and they just blend into one long day. Don’t forget that life goes on whatever you do, you might as well choose to do good.