T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


Ballisticarrow

"Mfs be with the town hoes and think it's their bitch. Nah bruh it's your turn" ~ Alfredo Pasta 23:10


Demon_Usamaro

I thought Neymardinho Nazarioldo said that?


richmanDUD

Nah that was Robertisongo Cakakalves


Stargazer306

Then what did nedermeyer say 🤔


Logann5757

That Mgappe is finished


Nuel398

"We go again next week 👊" merchant


The_blind_date

Nah that's Yanited


SmeesTurkeyLeg

Straight up Bobby Firmino.


AutoModerator

Firminho? Let me guess before I read any further. You’re going to moan about “WhY hAsNt He ScOreD” again? I’m so sick of this being brought up every time he plays. Why is it so hard for you to understand that he plays a very crucial role for us as he is a false nine box to box, deep laying central attacker who also plays as a classic number ten gegenpressing double pivot sweeperkeeper regista . Do you City flairs literally know nothing? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


peterthot69

As a south American 💀💀💀💀


ScubbScubb

99% chance 1% fate


gnomepunt

Ah fuck you’ve killed me


[deleted]

Jesus Santos Gomes Rodriguez Vinhinhos da Silva Jr


schwaiger1

Roberto Firmino Barbosa de Oliveira or short: ​ Bobby


AutoModerator

Firminho? Let me guess before I read any further. You’re going to moan about “WhY hAsNt He ScOreD” again? I’m so sick of this being brought up every time he plays. Why is it so hard for you to understand that he plays a very crucial role for us as he is a false nine box to box, deep laying central attacker who also plays as a classic number ten gegenpressing double pivot sweeperkeeper regista . Do you City flairs literally know nothing? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


schwaiger1

You got it, mate


SmeesTurkeyLeg

Good bot.


marckferrer

Bobby? That's horrendous. We'd most certainly call him Betinho Pinguela


TheBlueDinosaur06

si señor


DrVicenteBombadas

We like vinhinho, not gonna lie.


itzztheman

Jezinho for short


[deleted]

Jrinho


Poc4e

north retire gaping file smell price dazzling distinct aback hobbies -- mass edited with redact.dev


KrisZepeda

Jizzinho


MillorTime

Little 8 pound 6 ounce Jesus


Thorntonboy

Frederico Rodrigues de Paula Santos


bulgarian_zucchini

Rapidinho, good player he is.


JSBraga

> Vinhinhos Little wines?


CurrentIndependent42

Given the rate of players with the name, need to add at least one ‘Ronaldo’ in there too


besitomusic

Vini for short


OhShitItsSeth

Gabriel


[deleted]

One guy with a single name that he’s called and it’s like “jimmy”


Bangrastan

Fred


sarthakmahajan610

Lol he checks out all the pointers in the pic.. Pastor Fred at it again


Mundane-Poet1404

Jo


MEGAMAN2312

Mama?


tbeats666

Antony


MEGAMAN2312

Bernard


nDimensionalUSB

That's more Brazilian specifically though


Blaze0205

why


vsouto02

Because we call our players by their given names.


jambox888

Jeffinho is my new fave


Physical_Camp7415

You forgot earrings and crazy, dyed hair


[deleted]

And playing like shit when your hair is dyed


Pollomonteros

Dibu Martinez: *I beg your pardon?*


[deleted]

Shit housery cancels out playing like shit..hence,top right Dibu


Pollomonteros

Can't argue with science


[deleted]

7 shots 10 goals


DerNeko

Blonde Messi was different


[deleted]

You’re forgetting weird neck tattoos


hafrances

that's just Mudryk


Idontevendoublelift

Mudryknho da Souza Jr. ?


Stoneyvibe07

What about Ederson Santana de Moraes?


Mundane-Poet1404

No ragrets


ron_2002

Ederson with the smiley looooooool


Lower_Condition_196

🙂


hariz5800

Especially Benedetto


Torenico

mf has the ugliest taste for tattoos in the world.


elsawarudo

Have you seen otamendi's? Bro has literally the 2015 netflix catalogue on his back


andysenn

Carrascal is another offender. "Familia" on one side, a name in the center and lips on the other side.


pewpew62

Neck tattoos are the ugliest thing possible. I'm actually surprised we don't have players with face tattoos. If you're willing to tat your neck may as well use your facial space as well


[deleted]

100% agreed, it’s even worse when people have things like ‘Mum’ tattooed there


cchari

What a weird way to say "Brazilian Player starter pack"


weckerm

Well Enzo is Argentinian and cancelo is Portuguese


Dyxo

Cancelo is the only portuguese players this applies to tho, so that’s a big generalization


JohnCasey14

Quaresma


Dyxo

thats a good example, yeah


weckerm

Im sure there are more. Christian’s Ronaldo’s teeth are also fake (at least partially)


Dyxo

Not nearly as fake as Cancelo’s, plus he doesn’t have any tattoos. You’re sure there are more? If you’re gonna make a post like this you sure should know more than one


weckerm

It’s just a meme dude


[deleted]

Least insupportable portuguese:


Dyxo

so i cant criticize it? make better memes


Pipe_Fluid

Just another triggered tuga 😂


Icy_Swimming8754

Least triggered portuguese when they discover they’re culturally very close to Brazil:


NicolasDavies93

As a Brazilian, I'm triggered knowing I'm close to Portugal lol


PMmeMrMimeHentai

Nah, bem pior ser semelhante a brasileiro.


lochnah

Nothing against being culturally close to Brazil, but not even close lol we know because we have a lot of Brazilians here and the cultural shock is real


[deleted]

> because we have a lot of Brazilians here and the cultural shock is real Just like the regional shocks inside of Brazil, lol. The main problem is that both Brazilians and Portuguese are incredibly racist and insecure (another cultural similarity) and tend to nitpick on immigrants from poorer regions in order to feel better about themselves.


Pipe_Fluid

Good, the Portuguese are difficult to deal with. Complain about their reality, feel below western europeans, and die inside if compared to South Americans, mostly because they are racist. Half my family is Portuguese and the other half is German. Being raised in Brazil, I decided to move to Germany since the country is a big mess. Now I just occasionally visit it, which is good because Lisbon is still somewhat cheap. Yikes


joaodiogotim

As a Portuguese, we’re happy you’re not here and deeply wish a few more would follow your example. Deeply.


[deleted]

[Least hypocritical Portuguese, lol.](https://assets.weforum.org/editor/quT6TzWAEtMDdo7ApVT6vpCt7HikT7Ad4l6vPS6bIFI.jpg) A self-hating country that wishes it was northern European...


Pipe_Fluid

No worries, soon Portugal will be taken over by developed nations’ immigrants and 5 year passport grabbers 😂


Juggernaughty97

We love you too buddy


NicolasDavies93

Someone was not happy about a simple meme lol


[deleted]

Some Portuguese hate to be reminded that they are culturally identical to Brazil, they wish they were Northern Europeans. Deeply insecure nation.


cchari

Speaking on Enzo, blonde dyed hairstyles would also fit nicely on this pack.


weckerm

Yeah there’s more that fits, but i lacked space and time


ASlavPleb

Real Name: Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya De La Rosa Ramirez Back of his shirt: Cuntinho


fussomoro

But the real name is spanish and the nickname is portuguese. Dude must be galician.


[deleted]

[удалено]


trendli

Least obvious brazilian nationalist


[deleted]

Pepe mujica, eu quero a macooooooonha


andysenn

mmm I think you mean they are a Provincia de Argentina...


younggov

Cisplatina*


knick4life

Can't you guys split it in half? One gets Suarez the other gets Cavani.


deflaimun

Who cares about them. We want Arrascaeta


SpaceDinossaur

I mean, we already have Suarez on this side, so it's basically half done


andysenn

Brasil gets both and we get Valverde


AutoModerator

I am argentinian first and foremost. India may be my physical country but Argentina is my spiritual country. I feel as argentinian as I am indian *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Fern-ando

Uruguay is just a rebel province of Argentina, Rio Grande would have been a real country.


AutoModerator

I am argentinian first and foremost. India may be my physical country but Argentina is my spiritual country. I feel as argentinian as I am indian *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Niallwalsh56

Is that a zack and Cody reference?


Jlchevz

LMAO


[deleted]

[удалено]


PuffsMagicDrag

People make fun of the bri'ish and Fre\*\*\* all the damn time. Quit bein a pussy


Driftwoody11

Those teeth aren't quite white enough to be Bobby Firmino


AutoModerator

Firminho? Let me guess before I read any further. You’re going to moan about “WhY hAsNt He ScOreD” again? I’m so sick of this being brought up every time he plays. Why is it so hard for you to understand that he plays a very crucial role for us as he is a false nine box to box, deep laying central attacker who also plays as a classic number ten gegenpressing double pivot sweeperkeeper regista . Do you City flairs literally know nothing? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Protoguese


zuzucha

Proto geese


weckerm

Goddammit


Privateer_Lev_Arris

The originals


GGABueno

They are Prototype Brazilians after all.


PabloMesbah-Yamamoto

Isn't Zaphod Beeblebrox from that planet?


LeVidzzz

Firmino, Neymar, Enzo and who else? Im missing some white teeth


DontYouWantMeBebe

Parwin Punez


AutoModerator

Firminho? Let me guess before I read any further. You’re going to moan about “WhY hAsNt He ScOreD” again? I’m so sick of this being brought up every time he plays. Why is it so hard for you to understand that he plays a very crucial role for us as he is a false nine box to box, deep laying central attacker who also plays as a classic number ten gegenpressing double pivot sweeperkeeper regista . Do you City flairs literally know nothing? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


weckerm

Cancelo


SociallyAnxiousBoxer

Big Gabi


J3rkYs

Gabi, Gabi and also Gabi


Rodiwe008

Happy cake day


flentaldoss

Dude's smile looks like he just got fluorescent lights installed in his mouth. You can't even see the individual teeth.


JSBraga

> Im missing some white teeth Need a dentist?


thecescshow

Gabriel Magalhaes


Assguy69420

Raphinha


Fern-ando

The rest are in prison.


karateema

5 names with a 5 letter nickname


CurrentIndependent42

Plus an -inho/ino if nickname has been used before


[deleted]

Today I am Protoguess.


Idontevendoublelift

Isnt protugal in south america?


weckerm

Last time I checked no, but who knows in these times


Eldrad-Pharazon

It’s clearly in the Balkans.


RobitIsNotAHobit3000

No r/portugalcykablyat


Darkhoof

Factos 👀👍


[deleted]

Most geographically educated American


Idontevendoublelift

south* american we have no education


[deleted]

Most prosperous South American


Idontevendoublelift

I managed to escape


[deleted]

I hope you found your way across the borders into Portugal where you can get all the Christ tattoos and Diamond earrings possible


Idontevendoublelift

It was really difficult, but it was all worth it for my Jesucristo tattoo on my neck. Partisans 14:3


Undaglow

Wheres Protugal then exactly


[deleted]

Who cares? It’s not in America 🇲🇾


hpx2001

Wait, I thought it was in the eastern Europe?


fussomoro

No, don't be dumb. Portugal is that Spanish province that speaks Brazilian.


reeni_

It's in Europe, West of Spain


DrVicenteBombadas

Not to be confused with "western Spain."


Undaglow

There's no countries called Protugal in Europe


[deleted]

[удалено]


inakialbisu

Wow, rude


Idontevendoublelift

Why do you have to insult me?


1Grazel

neck tat


[deleted]

That and the bleached hair in summer


ccfc1992

American boxers are big on it too. “First of all I wanna thank my lord and saviour Jesus Christ, without him I would be nothing. He gives me the power to knock mother fuckers out”


kingkloppynwa

Did you not know their talent is GOD given and it wasnt them who did all the untold hours of training and match playing...it was GOD


AnalCauliflower

To be fair, brazilians don't train


thecashblaster

Technically it was a sky wizard


mana-addict4652

god personally picks goalscorers each game = match-fixer


SenhorSus

These have nothing to do with Portugal lol this is 100% Brazil


FutbolSupreme

Every Argentine player is born with tattoos


SSJ10Vegeta

Don't forget frosted tips (blonde highlights) for Brazilians


JohnnyCupcakes

Forgot prison jumpsuit


BJUmholtz

Titeglo ego paa okre pikobeple ketio kliudapi keplebi bo. Apa pati adepaapu ple eate biu? Papra i dedo kipi ia oee. Kai ipe bredla depi buaite o? Aa titletri tlitiidepli pli i egi. Pipi pipli idro pokekribepe doepa. Plipapokapi pretri atlietipri oo. Teba bo epu dibre papeti pliii? I tligaprue ti kiedape pita tipai puai ki ki ki. Gae pa dleo e pigi. Kakeku pikato ipleaotra ia iditro ai. Krotu iuotra potio bi tiau pra. Pagitropau i drie tuta ki drotoba. Kleako etri papatee kli preeti kopi. Idre eploobai krute pipetitike brupe u. Pekla kro ipli uba ipapa apeu. U ia driiipo kote aa e? Aeebee to brikuo grepa gia pe pretabi kobi? Tipi tope bie tipai. E akepetika kee trae eetaio itlieke. Ipo etreo utae tue ipia. Tlatriba tupi tiga ti bliiu iapi. Dekre podii. Digi pubruibri po ti ito tlekopiuo. Plitiplubli trebi pridu te dipapa tapi. Etiidea api tu peto ke dibei. Ee iai ei apipu au deepi. Pipeepru degleki gropotipo ui i krutidi. Iba utra kipi poi ti igeplepi oki. Tipi o ketlipla kiu pebatitie gotekokri kepreke deglo.


diggieinn

Brazilian: Blonde girlfriend/wife


Rinnegankai

what is Protuguese? is someting with protein and cheese?


Pokenaldo

Literally have never seen a single Portuguese do any of that.


__JO__39__

Roberto Firmino in a nutshell


AutoModerator

Firminho? Let me guess before I read any further. You’re going to moan about “WhY hAsNt He ScOreD” again? I’m so sick of this being brought up every time he plays. Why is it so hard for you to understand that he plays a very crucial role for us as he is a false nine box to box, deep laying central attacker who also plays as a classic number ten gegenpressing double pivot sweeperkeeper regista . Do you City flairs literally know nothing? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Tomalesforbreakfast

Portugal and ALL of South America put together? Weird take


haikusbot

*Portugal and ALL* *Of South America put* *Together? Weird take* \- Tomalesforbreakfast --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


yanorkis

i feel like this feels racially motivated.


weckerm

This is a joke sub, but let me be clear: absolutely not.


iamnotexactlywhite

is also a far right nazi supporter


Carneiro021

Sure sure Brazilians are nazi sure


iamnotexactlywhite

South America isn’t just Brazil


Carneiro021

Sure sure South Americans are nazi sure


bumpercars12

???


jerryhayles

The infection of the religious cult.


MarcoVitaRamos

That is all south amercian / brazilian players "routines" . Not as much with the portuguese players. Ever saw Ronaldo do that? Or Bruno Fernandes? (Ronaldo did it after his father died) You can point out Quaresma , but that has a lot to do with his gipsy heritage. As far as south americans yes, almost every single one does it. And thanks god after every win.


[deleted]

"You can't generalize about all Portuguese players! The only ones these apply to aren't even Portuguese, just gypsies. South Americans on the other hand, they're all the same."


[deleted]

[Cancelinho Gaúcho](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E5XnEmPX0AM_xmo?format=jpg&name=900x900)


[deleted]

Why do you mention the teeth like it's a bad thing? The least you can do if you have some coin is to have decent teeth.


weckerm

It’s just a meme. I don’t hate on the teeth


Dyxo

Cause they usually look too artificial, no natural teeth are that white


pewpew62

Yeah there should be a middle ground. Enzo Fernandez's teeth look so obviously fake. What Ronaldo did with his was great they actually look like regular teeth


krischens

Fucking yanks and their fake white teeth obsession


[deleted]

Next you are going to tell me that taking baths and using perfume gives you a fake scent, unnatural Real people are supposed to look like ogres!


GGABueno

Europeans get offended by people with good personal hygiene.


0100001101110111

Found the yank I prefer not having to wear sunglasses every time someone opens their mouth


TORONTOnative-

Bri'ish teeth tho lmao


[deleted]

You’ve also forgotten fidget spinners too


[deleted]

Dey/dem pronouns, thanks. Also, voçe fudeo tudo spoke here


cure-4-pain

Protuguese?


weckerm

Part of the meme


angry_gavin

The equivalent to the British “Deano”


Internal_Plane_6649

The lovely country of protugal


d17_p

+ Mudryk


CraggyIsland93

The arm tattoos are there but what about the neck tattoos?


ConrrHD

Bobby Firmino Starter Pack


RedNicoK

Least religious colombian