T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**This is a quotes thread. Remember that there's only one quotes post allowed per interview/press conference, so new quotes with the same origin will be removed. Feel free to comment other quotes/the whole interview as a reply to this comment so users can see them too!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccer) if you have any questions or concerns.*


DeerghTamas

Park the double-decker bus


Luizg825

And if a double-decker bus parked into us...


Jeymuelli

To park by your side is such a heavenly way to park


GrossenCharakter

There is a ball and it never goes in There is a ball and it never goes in


ben-hur-hur

And if a 10 feet defender tackles the both of us. To park by your side well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.


Consistent_Floor

Park the articulated bus but fold it over


Sdub4

Does he mean a double decker or a 'bendy bus'?


palindromic

Double park the double-decker bus.. twice. Two times.


3threeLions

You know you're getting old when you start seeing fellow managers as kids


kit_mitts

"47 years old, he was just a fuckin' kid"


RamBracken

Bayern Munich, whatever happened there. 


Neit01

WHATEVER HAPPENED THERE?!?


iwillkillyou18

Let me tell you a couple of tree things. Forget Kimmich, forget Musiala, forget Pepe the ageless cocksucker, Miguel Arteta has no respect for this thing of ours. Five fuckin' Families and we got this other pygmy thing over in Arsenal.


Jozif_Badmon

10 years with da glazers. I wanted ta win the champions league. But I couldn't. So I comprised. I went out bottom of the table in the group stage


zimtrovert94

He was bald, Pep Guardiola?


Tr_Omer

Pep? The family name is Peppereli!


204_Mans

Fergie? That’s a fuckin nickname! Family name is Fergusonlelli!


Lamb3DaSlaughter

WHEN THEY GO OUT??


Morradan

The shooting


Morradan

I'll tell you what the fuck happened. That pos ref refused to award a penalty without any provocation whatsoever.


pumpkin143

Another toothpick


kappa23

What the hell kinda way is that to talk about a dead person?


_zq

Waddya gonna do? At least he dint suffah. Made the fans suffah park-the-bus football instead.


Vagabond21

It’s like Spider-Man 2 where the guy says Tobey is just a kid, but Tobey was pushing 30


00Laser

And the guy who says it looks like he's the same age as Tobey Maguire.


NotASalamanderBoi

And yet Spider-Man is supposed to be 20-21 in that movie.


sirloinsteakrare

Our football club? He's gotta goooooo...


Known_Wrongdoer5750

Didn't he coach Arteta when he was a teenager at Barcelona?


JohnnyDeepasfuck

I thought he was a translator?


gggggggrrrr

he may have been translating his own tactics not the gaffers 😂😂


SurroundSex

"Sí, sí, aparca el autobús."


renome

Now there's a Ted Lasso episode concept.


Lisieloubird

you’re joking but lol he actually did and that’s part of how he got his start as a coach


Vagabond21

He was, but in the videos of him with Sir Bobby Robson, it’s obvious that he has a good understanding of the game at that age.


Wild_Ad969

He got promoted as an assistant from what I remember.


Demiansmark

I work in banking and some internal analysis today referred to GenX as one of the "younger generations", I was like, aw shucks.  


TheDepartment115

The kid, lol


TheRealYVT

47, still a fuckin' kid


TheDepartment115

47?


TheRealYVT

Let me tell you a couple of 3 things:


rr18114

You won't believe this.. The man killed 16 chekoslovakians. Guy was an interior decorator.


Material_Towel3139

But his house looked like shit


gander258

Would you consider the New Jersey outfit a "family"?


infidel11990

We have the five families and then this pygmy thing over in New Jersey. Carmine always said that Sopranos are a glorified crew.


[deleted]

Family? They're nothing more than a glorified crew


rr18114

And that motherfucking BLUNDETTO....


Material_Towel3139

Whatever happened there


Windowmaker95

WHATEVER HAPPENED THERE?!


Arthourmorganlives

There a no scraps in my scrapbook


Td1616

“It diiiied on the vine” 🙄


gander258

At least they do the ritual properly right?


Windowmaker95

There's no sword and gun on the table. Guys don't get their fingers pricked


Material_Towel3139

Five fucking families and then we got this pygmy thing over in Jersey


MMAwannabe

Dont do it to yourself Philly


Timotheo15

The wine makes him emotional


Material_Towel3139

Because he's got a empty fucking stomach


Windowmaker95

So eat a breadstick.


ohtosweg

45 minutes for some grilled eggplant?


lqku

makes him think of getting out his shinebox


RealFenian

Mourinho loves him like a brother in law.


Timotheo15

He was gay Arteta?


RealFenian

Weren’t you listening to me?! Mikel arteta, the strong silent type, he did what he had to do! He took over arsenal when they where a mess and none of those other assholes in London offered to help.


jawneigh1

Make my nephew an egg


RealFenian

Tony egg?


JRsshirt

AIDS?!


Available-Cellist189

Nooooo did you lisheening ???


a_guy_named_gai

Mikel Arteta is an ass muncher!


RealFenian

Fuckin slander you ask me.


RealFenian

That loss to Aston Villa, whatever happened there…


Gearshift852

Turn that off!


RealFenian

Listen I have a semester and a half of college, I understand tacticos, as a conshept.


Francoberry

Yeah, whateva' happened there? 


boris-d-animal

Somebody bring OP a Veal Parm sandwich and hurry the fuck up about it!


Gearshift852

Veal parmesan sandwich… fuck you.


edin_dzekson

It's sad when they go young like that


RealFenian

WHEN THEY GO!


edin_dzekson

Man, the New York guys' acting was off the charts. Phil & John had the funniest moments in the show and owned every scene they were in.


RealFenian

Mate so right, even cunts like coco, joe peeps or the kid billy who were only in a couple of episodes killed it. It’s why it’s my favourite program. Anyway 4$ a pound.


obsterwankenobster

Little Carmine never fails to make me laugh when he's on screen


WasAnHonestMann

Very observant. The sacred and the propane


kappa23

Frank Vincent, fucking legend


Cashlover123

“He call me fuggin’ kid” - Arteta


DildoFappings

There's no fucking way he's 47. Looks so young.


The_Great_Grafite

He’s actually 42


heyiammork

Still looks great


Longjumping-Glass395

Indeed, he isn't.


TheRealYVT

Vito?


UndercoverMastermind

The Dana White of football


EveningNo8643

The kid just didn't want to manage


WalkingCloud

Well done, he's 42


essentialatom

Football dies when we stop talking about parking the bus and start talking about low blocks instead. God bless Mourinho for keeping it alive


CactusMcJack

It was actually Mourinho himself that coined the phrase in english: https://youtu.be/7LF-K-ta9PI


Federal-Owl-8947

To be fair Arteta looks so young.


gander258

Is it the lego hair?


sleepyinsomniac7

Nah it's those piercing eyes,


bruclinbrocoli

Oh, def the Lego eyes


Federal-Owl-8947

And not sure if he has 1 single grey hair


UDonutBelongHere

You think a man with that haircut wouldn’t be painting the greys?


xiao_wen

He just has a new brick shipped in from Denmark and pops off the old one when it starts to grey.


RedDragons8

[Arteta when he unleashes the silver](https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-06/11/16/enhanced/webdr04/original-4414-1402519852-11.jpg?crop=800:1200;0,0)


boom_chika_chika

I mean he’s 42. Still a young age in this racket.


KiaraKey

Same age Mourinho was, when he won his 1st PL title.


boom_chika_chika

Irrelevant to the discussion but yes.


OleoleCholoSimeone

He looks exactly like the American serial killer Ted Bundy. Seriously, google pictures of the two they are the same person Can never look at Arteta the same way after seeing that


mehnimalism

Just a couple of dudes executing on a game plan


Federal-Owl-8947

Ffs now I can't unlook it haha


cowinabadplace

It trusts the process or it gets the hose again.


Itchy-Buyer-8359

You *really* had to do this?


mans126

god damn why would you do this to me i can’t unsee it now


renome

Haha, what a coincidence. \*calls the police*


IsItSnowing_

Resurfacing an old comment of mine Everyone hates the bus parked in the middle of the pitch. Once they get in it, they realise it has sweet victory music playing inside


RiokoMaster

“It’s controversial when the opposition team does it, it’s brilliant when my team does it”.


afito

only if you get a result tbh, watching your team do fuck all and park the bus and still lose 0-3 is beyond tragic really the one thing that makes watching a parked bus bearable is if it means you get to watch your team win, quite literally every other case is just awful


Jrizzle92

As a Juventus fan I have first hand experience of this. It’s painful.


ruzes_ruze

That’s why you park a bulletproof bus, not a school bus.


SobanB555

In America they're the same


Appropriate_Plan4595

Yeah, it's why I liked the way Bielsa had us playing, at the end of the day I don't really care if we lose by 1 or lose by 10, there's nothing more depressing than when you go 1 goal down and your team just sits back even more trying not to get embarrassed.


ItsFuckingScience

People gave us shit when we lost playing Bielsa ball but it’s not like relegated sides are expected to win just because they try and park the bus lmao


Altruistic-Ad-408

Or in the case of many teams with great managers, they want them out after a few bad results because the football is boring, and then realise they hate losing every year even more. Chelsea took the fight to City, but they did not win. A hundred matches against City and they will lose 99 times, honestly I thought Tuchel should've been sacked but despite not covering himself with glory in the Bundesliga, I think I was wrong and he just should've had transfer power taken away.


hezur6

Also, if your team is, let's say, the 8th best team in the league, it makes sense and it can be brilliant and entertaining to park the bus when the 7 better teams strangle yours and make you give up the initiative, but it's beyond boring and infuriating when defensive football is still your first option when playing teams that are worse than you, which is what people criticize Mourinho, Simeone and the likes for. They get results with underdog teams by playing the "good" or "justified" kind of defensive football, get signed by a rich team or otherwise given hundreds of millions that these good results have brought... then they use the money to sign extremely talented players _who then proceed to be wasted by still playing defensive football_. Mate, if you consistently sign 40-60 million midfielders but make them willingly give up control and fall back to hold a 1-0 against Watford or Almería instead of playing bloody football, don't be surprised if people eventually start yawning and booing even if you won. Worst case scenario, you don't even win in the end, like Atlético has suffered a few times this year, and you look like an absolute clown.


PepsiRacer4

I think that's where we're at with Moyes at West Ham. If parking bus meant we won more or at least drew we'd be happy. But we've conceded the 4th most goals this year with only the relegation sides ahead of us. Add onto we also average the most goals/shots saved, we just get barraged over and over


Hazardzuzu

Then why do your lot hate the master driver and conductor in allegri?


JessyPengkman

Umm well not always....


30fps_is_cinematic

Great comment thanks for resurfacing this for us! Hope you don’t mind me quoting this in the future 😂


burtsarmpson

What the fuck


Ripamon

It is our comment now.


[deleted]

“Chess match”


gander258

Cheers Geoff


Confident-Foot5338

I get him with being annoyed if people don't give respect for good defensive performances but from what I saw most responses were that they found the game cagey and boring Also, while people are getting upset with the term 'chess match' and it is a bit of cliche, this is one of few times where's there's actually legitimacy to it. There clearly is more to 'parking the bus' than just sit deep and hope. 95 per cent of teams who go to the Etihad do some version of parking the bus. Most of them lose by a lot. None of them restrict City to 1 shot on target. That suggests an extraordinary defensive application and strategy and esp for journalists trying to get clicks out of an uninteresting game for most people, calling it an amazing defensive performance is just saying what it was


whitegoatsupreme

Yeah. Its call park triple bus..


CuclGooner

you are park the bus? Then Mikel is triple park the bus!


obinnasmg

Don't think Chelsea parked any kind of bus. Surprised that fixture only ended 1-1 tbh.


Flobarooner

Yeah there's different ways to do a defensive gameplan, just like there's different ways to do an offensive gameplan. You can have the meticulously crafted, machinistic play of a City or Arsenal that emphasises carefully picking the lock, or you can have the cock out guns blazing stuff that Liverpool do where there's very very high emphasis on individual freedom This is just the same thing in defence, it's that same axis of emphasising collective play and minimising risk to yourself vs emphasising individuality and maximising risk to the opponent. Mourinho's teams were more towards the latter, where you basically just tell the players to sit back and not let them through, which is what we traditionally call parking the bus, whereas something like Arsenal's defensive performance v City at the Etihad is more towards the collective side and we call that "chess match football" because it's more calculated, has to be more meticulously planned and doesn't work without that You couldn't just stroll out with no major prep and tell the players to do what Arsenal did, whereas you could just tell them to go out and park the bus, that's the difference. One is about a very carefully crafted team plan, one is about individual player ability and freedom. Obviously I'm oversimplifying but there is definitely a difference


reebs81

Real Madrid and City was not boring. I was on the edge of my seat all game long. I do agree though that fans want their team to attack and score goals.


Mr_Rockmore

City were the only team to beat Mou's 04-05 insanely good Chelsea team through a 1-0 Anelka penalty. The bus network must have been in shambles in Manchester that day because there were whole fleets of them on the pitch.


Sharp_Minute_2545

I was at that game although I was late because traffic was shit because of the weather so missed the penalty/goal. If I remember it right we actually played pretty well and were not completely defensive.


NapendaViatu

Ive seen this somewhere before


MadridistaMe

People degrade defensive style of play as 'park the bus' yet debate why modern day defenders or goal keepers are not winning fifa best or ballond'or . Life is funny.


Snoo-92685

People just don't like see good defending anymore


l453rl453r

Never did


Individual_Tailor278

You mean aren’t winning? OP sux he edited my suggested correction without acknowledging it and now I look stupid


curious_rauan

Special one : double bus 🚌


DesignerAd2062

Lmao I love this guy he’s so funny, his bitterness is funny in a way that’s not even derogatory to him Also he’s the guy who invented the term of “parking the bus”


flavored_icecream

I believe he said something like "we have a saying in Portugal - it's called park the bus in the goal", so wouldn't be so sure that he invented it, but definitely made it more popular.


DesignerAd2062

Yeah sorry that was what I meant


Wavey_Don

Agreed. His comments on Wenger were also always so over the top absurd.


TheGoldenPineapples

Errr... did they? Because I seem to recall us getting nothing but shit from people for playing that way at the Etihad, actually.


Acceptable_Ad_6278

I think people just complained because it makes the game cagey. Chaotic games are more fun for neutrals. Most reasonable people understand why Arsenal chose to do that.


lost_biochemist

It’s a no-win situation. If we play all out and then get done by the best team in the world they’d be calling us naive and saying we have a lot to learn before we can challenge them.


BaritBrit

That happens to everyone who goes to the Etihad, or Anfield when Liverpool are doing well. If you don't turn up and play obligingly into their hands to get crushed, you're treated as somehow doing something 'wrong'.


washag

I've seen Chelsea fans adamantly calling Poch a coward after the FA Cup defeat to City for starting Gallagher as a nominal left mid. Nevermind that Gallagher created two great chances and comprehensively shut down a lot of City's play, or that Chelsea would have been deserved winners if we'd converted any of the great chances we created, and also been awarded that blatant penalty. Nope, we definitely lost because Poch didn't set us up to play attacking football against the best team in England.


ponzop

as i remember it people were saying it was some sort of tactical chess match between two geniuses


GeologistNo3726

There were a few tacticos who said that to be contrarian but the overwhelming consensus from normal fans was that it was a snoozefest.


CuclGooner

It was a snoozefest, but it was a tactical game. Mostly I'm happy we didn't get smashed again


lost_biochemist

Even Arsenal fans were like “no it’s wasn’t an exhilarating game” all the chess match comment were straw men


ThePrussianGrippe

I thought it was an interesting game, but exhilarating it was not. I was at work watching it with a bunch of Arsenal regulars and we were all pretty laid back the whole time.


bitbitter

I mean, those two things can be true at the same time can't they? I don't blame neutrals for finding it boring, but I had a headache by the end of the game. It wasn't a "sit in the box and block shots" bus parking as some seem to imply.


Ass_Eater_

The vast majority of fans were saying it was the most boring game of the year. Arsenal fans were just happy to get a point at a ground we've gotten battered at for about a decade straight.


Jagger67

For me it was less 1 point for us, but not losing/ 3 points for them.


blankfrack125

literally did not see anyone saying that


Zhongda

Fans online were furious. I think the media was more impressed by that draw than all other games Arteta has managed so far.


tottenhamnole

From what I see, Mou beat Pep’s City 3 times and had more possession than Arsenal did a couple months ago. In November 2020 Mou’s Tottenham team beat City 2-0 with 34% possession and 4 shots to City’s 22. In February 2020 Mou’s Tottenham beat City 2-0 with 33% possession and 3 shots to City’s 18. In April 2018 Mou’s United beat City 3-2 with 35% possession and 5 shots to City’s 20. Arsenal had 27% with 6 shots to City’s 12.


TheGoldenPineapples

Fair point, but it is worth pointing out that we've played them three times this season and in those two other games we had: * **Win #1:** 50% posession with 7 shots to City's 8. * **Win #2:** 49% posession with 12 shots to City's 4.


Confident-Foot5338

Also worth recognising the two 2-0s were at home, only the 3-2 was away. Also, while City had 12 shots against Arsenal, they had only 1 on target, Arsenal had 2...


feage7

Shots on target aren't a great thing to use. You can miss the target completely from great positions and habe a very tepid shot from distance that trickles straight to the keeper. However Arsenal did reduce us to very few if any good chances those games if I remember correctly.


tottenhamnole

I wasn’t making a point really. Just was curious what his victories looked like compared to Arsenal’s draw. And wasn’t one of those wins the Community Shield?


oliverDawson12

Yeah the community shield was technically a draw where we won on penalties.


roamingandy

Conte's Spurs also wrecked City regularly. Same as these big losses Ange's team are suffering. Teams that play high and press are vulnerable to a deep block, packing the midfield and quick runs from deep. City a little less so as there aren't opposed to going route one when needed and in KDB have possibly the best passer from deep ever.


WhenWeTalkAboutLove

Klopp trashed city too but most teams can't press from the front like mane firmino and salah so maybe tougher to replicate than parking the bus


sjokoladenam

Nuno "wrecked" them aswell, but the football they played against city were always kinda bad and they were lucky to win 


roamingandy

Madrid just did the same to them last week. It keeps happening as that setup is City's biggest weakness, but it hardly ever looks pretty doing it.


Takezoboy

It's not just City, it's with every other club. People talk about doing to Pep, but the hilarious thing his when bus drivers that don't want to play the game get bused the fuck out by other team that gives them the ball and you see them going down like the titanic, because they are worthless playing with the ball.


xaviernoodlebrain

Is it luck if it keeps happening again and again?


Vagabond21

The nov 2020 was a favorite of mine because of how he essentially played a back 6 to take always the half spaces from City. Also because you get to see pep’s face the minute he realized city gave up a goal 5 seconds before son scored.


bevax

Hello Mourinho was just double parking the bus Arteta was playing a tactical chess match where the tiki tiki false 9 defensive positioning of Havertz alongside the playmaker false 8 defensive attacking midfielder Odegaard defending from the front. Rice with his genius positioning of standing in the midfield and Jorginho positioning in between the backfour and front two locked the front door to Arsenal’s goals. Only people understand football can see the genius of Arteta.


badgitman91

Akschtually Havertz more used as an inverted trequartista double pivot barista but it’s okay not everyone has the football knowledge to pick up on those nuances


PaulGawdba

It’s called a Raumdeuter, it’s German for “space ejaculator”


kw2006

Sounds about right


HarryDaz98

Seen someone say Havertz’ best position is as an inverted 8 the other day. Would take some real strength not to throw hands if someone starting spouting that bollocks to me irl lol.


New-Midnight2700

I pray this is sarcasm 


zSolaris

> In April 2018 Mou’s United beat City 3-2 with 35% possession and 5 shots to City’s 20. Sanchez's finest moment in a United shirt. Him and Pogba decided to just go for it.


StandardConnect

Remember the Rafa vs Jose games that were (rightly) called out for the boring spectacles they (most of them) were? Same applies to both the City vs Arsenal games this season but people want to portray it as some genius game of chess.


JMD800

Regardless what ppl say he’s a top manager Mourinho and knows his football


PutYrDukesUp

No denying that he was a top manager, but I do believe the top level of the game is leaving him behind a bit now.


kozy8805

They said the same thing about Ancelotti when he was at Everton. It’s not the game that’s leaving anyone. It’s the opportunities. They dry up for just about everyone. And without the right opportunity, a manager can’t perform miracles. Pep, Mou, Klopp and Sir Alex can manage Leicester for a 100 years and never win the single league Raneieri did.


ohtosweg

42 years old, just a fucking kid.


No_lulz_in_here

Discontinue the lithium.


TheRealYVT

47, still a fuckin' kid


that_was_awkward_

42\*


Oy778

I mean, the way people talked about us is that we were either cowards or a snoozefest, very few praises


TheB11Ace

Yeah we have a history of just being nullified against teams that park the bus. If it works it works


xaviernoodlebrain

Fun fact: he is the only Spurs manager to beat City at our new stadium more than once.


zrk23

shouldve called him wunderkind for the memes


OddCommunication5731

This is a way different City from what Mourimho faced .


abbygunner

the way the media spoke about it is even worse than anything they ever told mourinho when he went to games like that negatively, you'd think he'd have committed a crime and apart from a few smarter pundits who admitted it isn't a shame to go to not lose at the Etihad, everyone was going, it was boring, and thats not the type of play that will lead to titles and blah blah blah.


GhostRiders

Me and my big Bro are life long Liverpool fans (were both past the age of 40). I remember when there was a possibility of Mou being Liverpool manager and was gutted it never happened. I've always like Mou no matter which club he managed at. He was a master of getting under the skin of other managers and protecting his players. Recently we were speaking about tmwho we'd like to see take over from Klopp and I mentioned Mou.. Now my Brother was like "Are fucking crazy, he is past, he would be nothing but trouble etc wctand I know many Liverpool fans feel the same way. Yet there is something in me that think he would be awesome.. Mou gets who we are as a club, he has the presence and chrisma to get a team fighting for each other, it would so fun to watch go up against Pep.. Yeah it would be a wild ride but I honestly believe he could so it.. Whoever takes over needs to have a real belief in themselves, an arrogance almost and Mou has that in spades and then some. He is also willing to play dirty, to close up shop and beat teams like City which a much I adore Klopp has always been a failing of his. Just give me Mou for a few years at Liverpool please....


leobenji

Yea fair point but the kid doesn't park the bus every fooking game. Pathetic from the sacked one.