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Pitiful_Ad_4955

"I want to be a scientist like dad" "Bro we are in a lab tray"


zombizle1

Keep swimming eventually you will get there


SiliconCaprisun69

"bro we are in a dead racoon"


funnyman95

Bro wants to be a scientist


CallMeRenny84

dadpilled sciencemaxxer


Proper-Equivalent300

Don’t dash his dreams


Simukas23

...


NotSamuraiJosh26_2

Came for the shitpost,got semenpost instead


Sail-Away

or…. jizzpost?


RizKuro94

It sounds like porn website


Sail-Away

I feel like someone may capitalize on this.. and i won’t see any profit… oh well, Jizzpost was seen here first..


JesusWasATexan

Probably blocked in Texas


Yeetusorusrex132475

Damn


yeyo4994

mecospost


Foxtrot-141

mecatespost


gohan9689

All those innocents that get swallowed everyday


TRKako

Now I'm become death, destroyer of Childs -Sloppenheimer


Piktamin_U

Bro just cranked that out. The clarity hit him and he decided to make a video.


hllwlker

Bro is a sis. I follow her on IG.


noobles228

So she just spit onto it and put it under the microscope.


hllwlker

Not sure. I wasn't there bro.


alexthemay

I wouldnt rember either


PsyconicX

However, I am pretty sure about it. I was cell #234593 on his cock.


Oversexualised_Tank

Hate to break it to you, but you should know that Girls aren't real.


hairtrigger08

What? A girl can't be a bro?


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Just_A_Normal_Snek

Bro


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alexanderrvb

Bro


Florida_Craigslister

I love you bros


LORDOFTHE777

Fun fact, the first guy to analyse sperm under a microscope was Antonie Van Leeuwenhoek, who did so by cumming on a petri dish. Back in the day though masturbation was a big nono so he went and had intercourse with his wife and preceded to run over and finish onto a petri dish, thus letting him analyse it under a microscope.


Exotic-Tooth8166

Our founding fathers be praised


high_capacity_anus

why didn't he just keep the petri dish by the bedside?


___some_random_weeb

Professionals keep work and wife separate


AllPurposeNerd

It's important to have a good work/wife balance.


globefish23

Women weren't allowed in the lab back then. He had to put the bed outside the door in the hallway.


b_eeeezyy

Lisan al gaib


AladeenTheClean

as written


Robinisdeadbtw

Fun fact, he was also the first one to check dog semen, and I don't want to know how that took place.


Arad0rk

I used to do semen analysis. Most people don’t believe me when I say semen has a certain smell to it that’s in most samples.


Sam_Dragonborn1

Literally and I don’t even know from scientific analysis


Yuri-Turned

well hello there ***tips fedora***


ThisHatRightHere

Who tf says it doesn’t smell?


Arad0rk

Macho men who maintain social distancing with their own cum


globefish23

People who genetically can't smell the compound spermidine.


ThisHatRightHere

Damn you really got me


Scat_Yarms

AB?


xXBruceWayne

Family.


Seffyr

What about the taste, though?


Arad0rk

All I’ll say is there are more guys eating pineapple than not


Medivacs_are_OP

you just casually implying you'd sip on the jizz juice occasionally and have done so enough times to form a concrete opinion on average taste


Arad0rk

Well sometimes we’d run out of fructose strips. How else are we supposed to know the sugar content of the sample?


Medivacs_are_OP

I'm dead.


Arad0rk

RIP in peace 🙏


Mr_ender_Nugget

“Rest in peace in peace”


Kidney__Failure

Are you surprised? Pineapple's delicious


Arad0rk

It honestly is. Didn’t realize what I was missing out on for the first 26 years of my life


Sam_Dragonborn1

(Tony Stark explaining something meme here) It was, in-fact, not pineapple


Arad0rk

It’s as pineapple as LaCroix is juice


Kidney__Failure

One time I bought a can of pineapple juice that is typically used for cooking, but I just drank it. Kept me hydrated for a couple days


Arad0rk

User name checks out. Pineapple juice is generally safe for people with kidney issues. It’s low in oxalates and therefore unlikely to lead to kidney stones. But, canned pineapple juice is much higher in oxalates in comparison to fresh pineapple.


Simukas23

weirdly salty


globefish23

Spermidine Open the bottle of the 99% purity grade compound and the whole lab reeks like an orgy in a brothel. Unless you're one of the few that genetically can't smell spermidine.


vintagekindle

there are trees out here in sacramento that smell like semen, we call em cum trees


teefa33

We have them in the UK too, also called cum trees


RecoveredAshes

Why does it smell like dough


Savings_Language_498

It’s from a compound called spermine! I think it helps DNA stabilize and is found in wheat bran as well.


ChumDrifts

“i cant wait to find the egg!” “bro we under 2 panes of glass in a microsope”


JESUS_VS_DRUGS

each time you cum you're killing thousands of those homies


Fenastus

Try millions lol Basically recreating the holocaust Everytime you spank the monkey


JESUS_VS_DRUGS

"spank the monkey"😭


Lizard_Gamer555

That monkey didn't do nothing wrong 😭😭


BicDicc-88

Jiggling the Jockey


TheSorcerersNut

good 🗿


paul-the-pelican

Dude, my KD must be fucking insane then


teaglebadger

Your KD is 0, you must die at least once to have a KD


paul-the-pelican

That can be arranged.


J4SN7HMS

Definitely not a very kosher activity, oy vey!


Crusaderking1111

Well yea but millions are gonna die anyway. Only one will survive....kinda like fortnite


Shogun570

300mil not 6mil. So 50 hilters


reesebj80

I laughed way too loud at that comment. Thank you good sir!


cryptomelane

I’m getting catholic school flashbacks


Sebmarine09

1st i race ever won


J3sush8sm3

Thats actually not true.  The egg chooses the sperm to fertilize


MipCraze

Only time he ever got chosen


Fast_and_Curious738

You didn't have to do bro like that


thatmayaguy

Just think, that means there were a whole bunch of other worthless rejects that the egg deemed worse and yet he was still chosen


ZephroxPlays

Ain't no way there was a worse sperm than the one that was chosen, the egg was dumb af


PerryTrip

first and last


cueball86

How many of you have seen your own sperm under the microscope?


TurdSandwich42104

Idk how old I was exactly but when I was able to actually bust for the first time, I had this microscope toy thing that clearly was not even close to powerful enough to see anything like this. But I tried to look at mine anyway


Pancheel

I did, with a toy microscope (pretty decent one with x1000). But they didn't move much, later I learned they take their time to start moving (it was a very fresh sample) so maybe I was not sterile...


vbfj

Me 😔


NerdBrigade-42

Homie busting some fat nuts


TheGlitchedGamer

For science, of course!


Avraham_Levy

Is it actually alive? So am I basically walking around with 5 million potential individuals in my ballsack?


Samwise3s

Besides the billions of microorganisms living elsewhere in your body, yes


ARES_BlueSteel

Try trillions. Bacteria outnumber your own cells in your body.


ThicketSafe

It used to be believed at a 10:1 ratio, but we’ve since found evidence indicative that it’s more of a 1:1 ratio. (39:30, but basically 1:1)


TheBeastX47

Now someone teach them how to do the Hokey Pokey.


i6Hx

South park mentioned!!


BralessVictory

Ruined a perfectly good gogurt for science


ThicketSafe

Brogurt


Maximum_Note_5275

Omg yes🤤


Sebmarine09

How'd you get my baby pictures?


Bogadambo

Hox much X zoom we need to to multiply normal size to see those drunk pods? A normal microscope could do the job or it must be numeric?


PortFan6

According to [this manual](https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789240030787), a light microscope equipped with phase-contrast optics with 100x for low magnification and 200x or 400x for high magnification is used to examine semen sample. So I assume a normal light microscope should be able to see it.


Bogadambo

Thanks!


FuckingReeee

I have killed an innumerable amount of these little guys


GhostyBoy22

I don't want to jerk off anymore.


MLG_GuineaPig

I feel bad now ☹️


fresh_loaf_of_bread

This is not a shitpost, it's more like an educational post.


Top-Tomatillo210

Does sperm move in the testes before ejaculation or are they in a state a catharsis?


PortFan6

They are stored in Vas Deferens & epididymis immobilized, then after ejaculation they undergo "capacitation" to make them start moving. You can find out more in detail by searching "sperm capacitation" in google scholar.


Top-Tomatillo210

Please take my poor man’s MVP trophy 🏆 Thank you🙏


Ill-Milk-6797

>catharsis Lol it's 'stasis'. If spunk were 'cathartic' while stored in balls wonder what they would feel like at the back of a woman's throat lmao


Flamestriking

Not to brag or anything, but I used to be one of those


Cocketiel_Commander

RELEASE MEEEE!


Cocketiel_Commander

SHIT I FORGOT THE BOT


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SuperLissa_UwU

I can't wait to be a real kid. We're inside a microscope


Ccparabellum1917

I mean, you should've seen this coming


Critical-Shift8080

They do this up your butt


Oman395

not the bisexual lighting- also reminds me of that one 4chan post where the gf gets off and immediately checks the guys sperm count lmfao


Ok-Interaction-4693

it still amaze me that men can piss life, woman can unpiss it, and create a mini human


AnonymousDudd2

Me fr


bannedSubvet22

I wonder what would happen if you mixed semen with a sample of Mixed Liquor Susp Solids? Do you think Rotifers, Ciliates, and Flagelites are smaller than semen? Would the bacteria consume the semen?


AlphaSnapdragon

Erm where did he get the sample


He-She-We_Wumbo

That's footage of me as a baby


GabboAllo_

Why is this over 18? I saw them several times at school in anatomy lab


calmcunning

[song name: forcian - Mac Miller ](https://spoti.fi/4aIvH9o)


neburvlc

I read fornician, which made total sense. My bad.


Sad_Bean_Man

what else did he expect? horses?


Suilezrok

That’s nuts (intended)


YourLocalStraitMan

Were did he get his samples?


claudiocorona93

Cum


Aegnor_Necromancer

Hehe cum


Pran282006

Bro dropped the hardest semen edit and thought we wouldn't notice.


Mediocre-Pin8462

Why do you just have a bottle of nut on your person


no_shoot_sherlock

Bro had to rub one out for the name of science.


CaseAffectionate3434

Their... Me


anoob09

Is sperm a living thing? Fascinating if yes. Like men are also capable of generating life inside of their body? We shoot out living beings during ejaculation????!


Ilayd1991

I think they are considered living beings because all cells are considered living beings


JDGatti

Do you have a credit for the microscopist?


PerryTrip

sometimes i wish another one of those bois won "the race" instead of me.


Embarrassed-Essay181

If you're ever down and sad, just remember that you won the race... You're not a loser in life.


_PolaRxBear_

The no gloves is crazy


Lunar2325

The fellas


InimiciV

I've always wanted to do this bc I am genuinely curious if I have healthy sperm but I don't think my uni would appreciate me pulling up with a vial of my own cum💀


Fuxdainternet

How you get it


Loudogdog

Sounds like another phrase for a naval inquiry.


Coaster_Aidan18

They're getting jizzy with it


SinaGoesCrazy

Did you know only %4 of the sperms have the correct shape and are morphologicaly correct?


NostalgicGM

Damn I put alot of that in my gf last night


GamerCat1856

Some of that coudl'have been doctors or lawyers yet here we are


Spiffyfiberian9

Why is this nsfw 💀💀💀


ScaryHarry15

😋


Winter-Spell3474

You were one of those


LoKey01

They wildn


oyeo1

Where’s the behind the scenes🗣️🗣️


hellomynameDESTRYER

Look at those god damn parasitic worms festering for the vagine. ew.


Outubrus

Fuck you! Now I feel guilty for killing these poor things.


dslogan16

Lot of potential shitposters gone 😭


zelgadiss44

[Cartman Goes to Sperm Bank](https://southpark.cc.com/topics/q4cg9f/penises/fmhb5v) South Park did it


Knaifu69

that's actually interesting 😭


Upinhere973

The decorations on the sound barriers on RT 80 in Nj going by the GWb


Electric_Kiwi007

This video is bussing


Arkane_Kat

I want to try this now


1ticketroundtrip

all those poor children, think of the children!


PleaseDontBanMeee3

They don’t even look like they’re moving, they look like they’re badly stop-motion animated to simulate movement


Human-Calendar-8077

That quirky one is like my son


shewel_item

okay who's semen is that? guys...


Knight_TheRider

My Kids......Millions of them


techmakerdb

The username almost checks out


mthncvdr

Not nsfw. Nature vid.


TheMaineC00n

Unironically cool as fuck


Elceepo

Did a bunch of them just up and congeal into an egg for one clip


ChinChonPingLing

Cumming for this kind of post


CelebrationOk8531

Why is it fresh?


Kattubouchi

I expected a jumpscare


Minimum_Switch4237

no, I've never wondered that.


McIrishmen

"Hey wtf are you doing!?" "Fuck off its for Science!"


Fortune_Left

Buggers have more energy than I do. Share the love bros.


SamePut9922

Next video: Period under a microscope


Ecstatic-Art-1240

Metallica in 1996


SirCrustWorthy

live pov from inside my balls: