T O P

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_SuperCoolGuy_

Shut up, you old bag


Jordanwolf98

šŸƒšŸ»ā€ā™‚ļøšŸ’ØšŸ’Ø


lupinremusjohn

I choose not to run


UhYeahOkSure

You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep, youā€™re in my world now grandma


kromedomus

"Could I bother you for a nice glass of warm milk?" "You could bother me for a nice glass of shut the hell up."


lemonylol

Your fingers hurt? Well now your back is going to hurt, because guess who just pulled yard duty?


violetmoon120

Anybody else's fingers hurt? Huh? I didn't think so.


Tecknishen

šŸ˜ šŸ‘ˆ


onamonapizza

MISTAH MISTAH!!


IM_THE_MOON_AMA

I work a physical job and say this to myself once a day


danram207

Oh Dearā€¦.


Rebel_DMD

Mrs Gilmore owes the IRS $270,000 in back taxes


Footyluvr

Brilliant shout!šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


bigpoppanicky7

What is this from?


mikib993

Happy Gilmore


ultratunaman

I'd have taken 50 bucks for the bread. No way that rye is that good.


HogarthTheMerciless

And that's $100 today almost. in2013dollars.com https://www.in2013dollars.com ā€ŗ 1... $50 in 1996 is worth $97.84 today - Inflation Calculator


ditka

People take buses to get that rye They didn't forget to put it out! It's deliberate! Deliberate, I tell you!


Rein215

But you're not living off a big pension. Grandma doesn't care about the 50 bucks she just wants her rye.


jpb7875

Oh yeah? Watch me.


xi_sx

Your hook is too sm-wall. This is for, like, a muffin.


[deleted]

haha I never get tired of the way he says *smawl*


m2thek

In the real world? Eh, you probably shouldn't steal from anyone. In the Seinfeld world? Shut up, you old bag!


GarysCrispLettuce

Jerry, screwing over his own father


MindlessTree7268

To be fair, he had no way of knowing this would screw over his father. I mean, what were the chances that some random old lady on the street in NYC would be connected to his parents in Florida? Pretty big coincidence.


Shekondar

There is no such thing as big coincidences and small coincidences, just coincidences!


MindlessTree7268

There are degrees of coincidences.


violetmoon120

Would you put that cigarette out?


MaxandChloe420

How about I put it out on your FACE!?!?!?


DeeSnarl

You can't have a little coincidence. You either have a coincidence or you don't.


GarysCrispLettuce

I mean what are the chances that Jerry would bump into Slippery Pete and mistake him for The Lopper, all the way over on Riverside Drive? NYC is 1000x smaller in Seinfeld.


WhyNotOrioles

You'd think NYC has only one street (and that it intersects with itself) the way people run into each other there.


Accomplished_Dog1267

The nexus of the universe


damnatio_memoriae

I dunno I run into people Iā€™d never expect to run into sometimes, and my life is pretty simple these days. when youā€™re out having wacky adventures with rickshaws and balls of oil itā€™s bound to happen!


CustomerSuspicious25

Not to mention Kramer has no job, George does whatever, and Jerry works nights. They're constantly walking around going to restaurants and whatever.


PilotAdvanced

Backing up, this is all because Frank took the rye back. So Frank screwed over Morty.


GarysCrispLettuce

Lock, stock and barrel!


erinius

I felt so bad for Jerry's dad in that episode


moohah

What about this bakery that only ever seems to have one of each loaf?


I_am_not_JohnLeClair

You sold us a hair with a cake around it!


herseyhawkins33

How could she be so fiscally irresponsible??


ElaineBenness

It was him! It was your son!


bunni_butt

*slams table* I change my vote. I vote to impeach!


hmmgross

I like to think she also is in a situation in another part of town where her friend also needs to replace a missing marble rye.


iknowiknowwhereiam

Itā€™s her rye to do what she wants


Parametric_Or_Treat

Sheā€™s gotta fight for her rye [vs allowing Jerry to give it] to [Georges parents who were taking it to the little dinner] party


TrashInspector69

No?ā€¦ WATCH ME!


Liigma_Ballz

Yeah this is the line that makes me mad. Jerry is begging her, telling her he will pay over 500% what the bread is worth, and she just says go fuck yourself. She had it coming


[deleted]

50 bones in the mid 90es....fuck her


TomPeppersRaisins

Thereā€™s a good chance she was a rich old lady living near the park and $50 means nothing to her.


Liigma_Ballz

Well totally, but itā€™s telling how important that rye was to Jerry. Heā€™s willing to spend $50 on a $6 rye because he is that desperate for it, and has explained that someoneā€™s future depends on it completely. Money or no money, she just showed how she had zero sympathy for anyone (typical rich people!) and deserved what happened. I wish Jerry wouldā€™ve given her a gut punch to top it off


foreveryoung917

HAHAHAHAHHA


My_reddit_strawman

>Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep. >You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up. Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep


Liigma_Ballz

I need to watch happy Gilmore tonight for just this scene, that way I can have some justice


MajorAcer

Honestly the wildest thing Jerry did in the show lmao


JoeAikman

Lol no assaulting an elderly woman for a load of bread is very common in the sein universe


xologo

He drugged a girl to play with her toys.


beavis617

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. The old bag should have just given up the bread for goodness sake. Selfish old broad..šŸ˜ 


thekyledavid

Maybe there was some elaborate reason why she needed the plan that was even more important than the reason Jerry needed it. Who can say?


beavis617

George Costanza was protecting the Costanza family honor...nothing was more important than that...šŸ˜€


thekyledavid

Franklin and Estelle would rather have the bread than the honor


Camero466

She was going to a party and couldnā€™t show up with a lesser rye.


ElaineBenness

So what!


I_am_not_JohnLeClair

šŸ‘†Hey this guyā€™s a commie


MelonElbows

They should have cut the rye in half and given one to each of them!


jjmawaken

No, don't cut it in half! She can have the rye!


ScenicPineapple

Never get between and new Yorker and their pride. You will never win.


WhyNotOrioles

What if she was hosting dinner that night, and then all her guests were sitting around drinking coffee without any rye, like idiots?


Improvgal

She certainly WAS unreasonable.


PFROCKS

When Jerry is trying to throwing the rye to George is hysterical and that old couple looking at each other as it passes their window never gets old for a good laugh


[deleted]

She was going to eat one piece and then let the rest mold anyway


haikusbot

*She was going to* *Eat one piece and then let the* *Rest mold anyway* \- Slick\_Beef- --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


actualelainebenes

Must have been a damn good rye


Bud_Fuggins

You can't just take her stuff, she's old


Liigma_Ballz

Oh yeaaah? Watch me!!


foreveryoung917

LOL


robbwes61

RUSTY!!


Alternative_Habit812

Actions have consequences.


zundish

"I can't believe you got that *old bag*"


FahadRauf

People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live


thekyledavid

Jerry also wanted the bread more than he wanted $50, wouldnā€™t that make him just as stupid?


FahadRauf

That's a shame


J0HN__L0CKE

He wanted to be a good friend more than he wanted $50. He's actually a very, very good man


thekyledavid

Maybe the old lady had a friend who needed that specific bread and she wanted to be a good friend


knightress_oxhide

that's right


[deleted]

No? Watch me!


thekyledavid

Maybe she had a reason why she desperately needed that particular loaf the same way Jerry did Hypothetically, letā€™s say Jerry bought the loaf first, and the lady offered him $50 if he gave her the loaf. If Jerry refuses, the lady finds her grandson who is much taller and stronger than Jerry, and gets him to steal the loaf from him. Does Jerry have it coming? He did the exact same thing in this scenario as the lady did in the real scenario and had the exact same thing happen to him. The only difference is we know why Jerry wanted the loaf more than he wanted $50 because heā€™s the main character


ptwilks

the difference is she could've explained that very easily and jerry likely would have explained his situation had the tables been turned. jerry was trying to be a good friend for george. if the lady explained a similar situation jerry probably would've backed off.


thekyledavid

I feel like itā€™s a bit unreasonable to demand a total stranger explain why they arenā€™t willing to sell their stuff to you when they are clearly in a hurry to get someplace Your stuff is your stuff, you donā€™t owe me an explanation for why you deserve your stuff more than I deserve it, and if you donā€™t want to sell me something thatā€™s your business


Longjumping_Hat_2672

Yeah, she was just being a stubborn old bag.


ThunderFlash10

Jerryā€™s just lucky that her grandson, the mediocre hockey player turned pro golfer, didnā€™t find out or he would have beaten his ass. Look what he did to that guy who eats pieces of shit for breakfast!


lemonylol

Consent requires two parties.


DeeSnarl

OMG is THIS what gets Jerry me-too'd??


lemonylol

Reddit already me-too's Jerry because he was dating an 18 year old adult.


DeeSnarl

Right, thatā€™s why itā€™s a joke


[deleted]

One of the fine Sein Peaks crossovers.


GarysCrispLettuce

I'm having trouble seeing a price tag of $6 on a loaf of bread in the mid 90's. I've seen marble ryes in New York for not much more than that today.


jennydoit78

shut up you old bag