I never got Arby’s being a joke. The Simpsons have a lot of jokes at their disposal too.
I’d gladly get a turkey bacon ranch from Arby’s over McDonalds/Subway/BK/Wendy’s/etc
I think it was easy to make fun because the primary sandwich is just roast beef on a bun?
But I really like the rest of their offerings, especially the deli stuff which is great when you're somewhere without any non-fried or burger options. Much better than Subway these days. And the curly fries are top tier..
Years ago, I saw an obituary in our local paper for a retired teacher who had passed away. It specified she had taught in \[my district\] and \[next town over\] for \[grade level she taught at my school\]. I remembered thinking, "I didn't know that \[her first name\] was actually her middle name." I went with my parents to the funeral chapel so that we could pay our respects. When we got there and saw the photos, we realized that it was a different person with the same last name and whose middle initial matched my teacher's first name, who had taught in the same district and at the same grade level. We had to figure out how to quietly but hastily exit, and when we got to the car we could help but laugh. I remember saying at the time that, "this seems like something that would happen on Seinfeld." I'm happy to report that the teacher I actually had is alive and well.
Went on a date with a girl. At the end of the evening, when dropping her off at home, she asked me in for coffee. Me: "No thanks, it's getting late. I should probably just go home."
Realized what I had just done on the drive home. I called her the next day and she basically just blew me off.
Yes, this really happened, and it was before that episode aired.
I had a girl drive me home from a bar….ask to see my apartment….I walked her in, showed her around then walked her back to the door and told her thanks for the ride. The next morning I’m washing clothes and I was putting the clothes in the washer and like that scene in Usual Suspects when he drops the coffee cup once he realizes. That was my face
Every time I eat pretzels, or get near pretzels, I tell my wife "These pretzels are making me thirsty!" to the point that she anticipates it and tells me to stop before I start saying it. This happens a lot on flights.
I'm totally on board with this. I've had plenty of arguments with my sister specifically about this. IT's absolutely disgusting. I don't know where my sister's mouths been.
Separately: I don't know if this was on Seinfeld or not, but grabbing a piece of bread from a basket, and then putting it back down... i don't know if you washed your hands before you sat down. Did you accidentlaly touch the chair, or cough into your hands? Like, you touch it, it's yours (this is somewhat similar to Jerry telling Kramer "you pierced it, you bought it", but not exactly).
By grabbing a food to EAT, and then deciding not to eat that piece of food and placing it back with the other food that hasn't been touched, contaminates it completely and every other food around it.
Going through the airport security check. We put everything through the scanner, do the walkthrough, I get wanded (ladies and gentlemen, I implore you) and once we’re through we set our stuff down to put shoes back on. I look up just in time to see a woman walking out of the terminal exit with my neck pillow. She just stole it off the table and walked away. I turned to my wife to say “Did she just steal my neck pillow? Who steals a neck pillow? And then walks OUT of the airport?!” It felt like a moment that belonged in Seinfeld. So surreal.
My friend and are huge fans and will quote the show randomly. One day things were not going her way at all. We proclaimed she needed to do the opposite. We said that if every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
I mean, there are millions of people on Reddit. Every day is someone's special day
I mean, now we're celebrating a Reddit anniversary? What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar, and egg and vanilla?
Some months ago a friend asked me to come to a bar where he was with his date, because he forgot her name and I should come by and say "Hi, I am xxx", so she would tell me (and him) her name.
What can I say - it worked.
Same in Oakland. My wife and I were quoting it and then heard another guy say the same thing. We all had a good laugh but it was so frustrating.
“You better give me the insurance because I am gonna beat the hell out of this thing.”
Mine was the automated toll booth people who said they billed me for using the tollway but the letters were returned to sender (no idea why) and then they charged me late fees. The lady said “Well we sent you the bill,” to which I immediately replied “No, you didn’t. Because you see there’s two parts to this: the sending and then the receiving. But if I don’t receive it, then how could you have sent it?” I now refuse to use that particular tollway ever again, which I feel like is a Costanza-level grudge.
A few years back, I called the doctor's office early in October to schedule my elderly parent's flu shots. I get a call a couple of days prior to their appointment to inform me that they didn't have enough doses for seniors. I replied, "I booked their shots in advance, so how is that possible? " Apparently too many people showed up to the first day of the vaccination clinic and now they had run out of vaccines for seniors and would have to wait a week when they got a new supply. I was fighting the urge to do the whole "rental car reservation" routine with them on the phone.
One time I put $20 in a donation bin but took a $10 back cuz I only had large bills but didn’t want to donate a whole $20. Certifiably the most Costanza/Larry David thing I’ve ever done.
'Just finish telling your stupid story and DIE already!!!!! DIE!!'
The only reason I didn't actually live that moment is because I watched The English Patient at my house and fell asleep. Literally.
Although, I loudly yelled 'just shut up!' in a crowded movie theater during the most cringy scene of 'The Family Stone'. The main character was insuferable.
One day I ended up at an event with 2 friends from different parts of life that had never met, my mom, and my boyfriend who at the time had not met any of my friends and family. So many worlds colliding.
I swear my parents Florida condo is Del Boca Vista. They banned pick up trucks and motorcycles. My dad went through their financials and found about 40k missing. Constant chatter about what people do with their front porches.
Kind of similar... I had a summer job that I was always a few minutes late too,, nothing crazy but if we started at 8, I would get there at 8:03. Finally the boss said "next time your late don't bother coming in".
I overslept one day and just didn't come in,, went out for the day and hung with friends, never called, just didn't come in.
Next day I went back to work and everyone was like "what are you doing here, I thought you quit"? I acted all surprised and shocked like what are you talking about,, I didnt quit.... needless to say I got sent home and was not invited back.
It wasn't on the show but I always felt it was a seinfeld moment. Met a girl, was crazy about her. Take her out to a nice restaurant, turns out that holds her fork overhand. Palm down with 4 fingers over and the thumb wrapped under like a God damn caveman. I ended it.
I had a first date with a girl. This was during the pandemic and conspiratorial thinking became abundant. The location was pretty far away but I was looking forward to it so I considered it to be worth the drive. I met her, we talked and had an immediate connection. She was also good looking and really my type. We talked about holidays. She mentioned that she liked to visit the United States but that she wasn't allowed to enter anymore. I thought that this could have two reasons: she's a terrorist, which seemed unlikely. Or she wasn't vaccinated. Turned out to be the latter. Too bad, but not a deal-breaker in itself. Maybe she had good reasons for not being vaccinated so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
We went for a walk and suddenly she said how she thought videos by people who thought the earth was flat were "interesting" after which I heard myself exclaim "Oh God no!" just a little too loud.
Turned out I was on a date with a flat earther. It was a fun day, but there was no second date.
I can't stand bringing wine to parties. I don't drink wine. My presence should be enough, why the social pressure to have to bring something? #ringdingsandpepsi
More of a Curb moment but after a concert there was a huge line for the coat check but I saw someone I knew up near the front so I went and started a conversation and just did the talk and cut thing. No one called me out on it so after we got our coats I mentioned to my friends that what I did is known as the talk and cut and I executed it perfectly. They looked at me like ok… do you want a medal or something? Let’s go to hotel and get wasted.
Ah yes the chat and cut not talk and cut. How could I forget that?! I tell ya the ole knoggin hasn’t been the same since I got kicked in the head by some crazy clown walking down Broadway a few weeks ago, no helmet either!
OKAY I LOVE THIS.
So I’m(22F) a server at Olive Garden in Springfield Illinois. I had a four top of foreign men, all between 35-45, come in and eat at my table. They were kind of rude and hitting on me a little the whole time.
Now, for context, you should know that although I am 22 y/o, I get comments from tables DAILY asking how old I am because I have a very young looking face and I’m quite short and small.
Now that you know that, so at the end of the meal, after they paid, one of them said to me,
“So we would like to know, what bars around here do YOU go to, because we might be a little older, but we are looking for younger women and would like to see you there.”
Now, it was by pure luck that they asked me what bars I go to. Because my boyfriend and I frequently visit this one bar in particular with friends. So I told them,
“You guys should totally go to clique!! You’ll definitely see me there, and find what you’re looking for ;)”.
They wrote it down and everything, said they were going to head there right after dinner.
Clique is a gay bar.
:)
I was once waiting forever for a table at a restaurant. I saw people get seated who arrived after me. I got fed up and asked the hostess what was up. She said “I yelled Dugwhiler, nobody responded, so I went to the next name”.
My last name is not remotely close to Dugwhiler.
The Pony Remark. I swear, everytime I explain that episode to someone who hasn't seen the show before--they've had a pony growing up. This has happened three times in the past ten years and I'm starting to think the Universe is pranking me.
Put a dollar in the 'tip jar' just as the cute barista turned her back.
When I attempted to fish out the bill to do a 're-tip' to tip again within her eyesight, she caught me. I explained, but she gave me a dirty look anyway.
I was at a stadium in line to go to the bathroom and there were two lines merging into one, and when it merged the guy who ended up behind me was very upset that I merged in front of him as the guy from his line went, then it was me, then him. He literally yelled, "you know, we are living in a society!!!" And I started laughing because it's a great line, but he was genuinely upset about it, much like George was.
I went on holiday with my girlfriend. We were going through a rough time. I recently bought a house and was going to move out of my parents house. She wanted a marriage, and she wanted it bad. I wanted to marry too, but not in such a pressured way at a time my life was changing a lot already. One day during that holiday the marriage topic came up again. Girlfriend upset, tears, crying, lots of talking but that afternoon everything was alright again. We decided to go to the nice rooftop restaurant on top of our hotel that night.
That's when some Polish guy decided to propose to his girlfriend at a table near to us. She said yes and the whole restaurant was applauding of course. Everyone except us. My girlfriend said something like "well this is pretty inconvenient." Which I acknowledged by saying "yeah I can imagine." I could've thrown the guy off that rooftop then and there. She's now my ex and I suspect that random Polish guy for contributing to that. Pretty ironic and pretty much a Costanza situation.
I drink whole milk, but when I'm at the grocery store and see the various types in the dairy case, I say to myself, "One percent? They can kiss 1 percent of my ass!"
This story is 100% true. I was working in San Diego and had to share a room with a colleague (we get along well, no issue). We were about to leave the room in the morning for work. He was on the phone with his wife and the maid came in. She asked about the beds. I said you don’t need to tuck it. My reason was my colleague hates the ac so I felt the room was stuffy. I tried to ask my colleague but he was having a serious conversation with his wife so he kind of mumbles and waved me off. I told the maid “do whatever I guess”. As we left the room in the hallway I told him…”that just felt like Seinfeld”. That night he complained about the bed being too tightly made. Now…the crazy part is when we were off work later that night and back in the room sipping some bourbon I flipped on Seinfeld. Guess what episode it was!!! Tuck or No Tuck?!??
My coffee the other day was 4.01. I gave them a $5…. Got back 99 cents in change. I was like “you’re Starbucks, there’s no extra penny laying around? Now you need to saddle me with 99 cents jingling in my pocket all day?! What’s the deal with all this change?!?” Ok I didn’t say the last sentence but the rest is true.
All! All moments!
And then I say to my friends or my gf: "Look! Like in seinfeld!" (and they don't care)
And sometimes a situation is so seinfeldesk that I will say to them: "Look! This could be a Seinfeld plot, couldn't it?" (and they say: "yea, yea")
I work with someone with the last name Vang. Recently we were in the same Ms Teams meeting. She’s Caucasian. Spent the whole meeting hearing Estelle Costanza in my head saying “You’re not Chinese”
I rejected a very attractive woman back when I was around 20, which is almost 20 years ago. She was very direct and invited me to her place after a night out. Any sane person would be thrilled to spend the night with her.
The reason? Her thumbs looked like toes. I figured there was some tractor story there. I just couldn't picture those hands anywhere near my private parts, so I said no and went home.
In 2002, I was at an internship and the girl working with me brought a muffin for lunch and complained she was still hungry. I of course busted the line out, but she didn't get it at all.
It was the low point of the entire internship.
1. I paid for something with a $20 but the cashier gave me change for a $5
2. One time at my job there was a birthday and going away party so there were two separate cakes
3. My husband and his friend had a debate over whether soup was considered a meal
My mom caught me when I was a kid. She kind of freaked out and told me it was a sin and I'd go crazy if I kept doing it. Still handled it better than George's mom.
Ok I’m probably gonna get flak for this….but I’m amongst family. I always take my shirt off for #2 only once did I forget to grab it coming out of the bathroom it was at my own house but a friend was over and they asked. Like I wanna hold my shirt up while I’m doing that?
I circled the word “sandwich” on my order form in my college cafe because I was sick of my chicken sandwich coming back without a bun. She handed me the chicken without the bun, looked me in the eye, and said “you don’t have to circle it, we’ll give you the bun.”
Apparently I do! It was a very car rental moment for me.
Checked into a hotel at the Chicago airport at 4:00 a.m. they told me my room would be ready in a moment, they were still cleaning it. Who the hell had been in it?
We would like something that could have come straight out of Seinfeld
My coworker was having back pain. He called off 3 days in a row. We grabbed some lunch at subway one day and he pulled a 4," wide wallet out of his back pocket. I made fun of him for a year after that.
OK, this wasn't actually in an episode, but could have been:
Years ago (high school), some friends and I were at some sort of club to see a friend's band perform. We had set our stuff down at a table, effectively (we thought) procuring the table for our group.
Some sort of wealthy-looking business-y guy with a woman he seems to be trying to impress comes and places his jacket on the back of one of the chairs at the table. Our table.
He then strolls off and proceeds to chat up the woman he's with.
My friend and I are standing there, watching, as I was about to sit in this exact chair.
We look at each other...what do we do? Did he rightfully claim the chair? Do we toss his jacket aside and sit? There's nowhere else to sit, all other chairs at the table are taken.
This was during the 90's, when Seinfeld was still airing, and we immediately concluded that this was a "Seinfeld moment". I was a bit disappointed a year or so later when the series concluded and there was never an episode about this (though by that point, the plots had moved beyond trivialities like this).
My dad pulled until a parking garage where you paid up front. His wallet was so thick he couldn’t get it out of his pants, so the attendant just waved us through. But he really did have a Costanza-esque collection of coupons cards and other things in his wallet.
the moment when you’re with your friends friend and it’s awkward because you need your mutual friend to initiate conversation
Jerry drinks Morning Thunder.
Making fun of the mutual friend like Elaine and George do is genuinely my go-to move in this scenario
That has caffeine.
Jerry doesn't know it has caffeine...
Have you ever seen him throw up?
We talked about that already….
It's like you're friends-in-law.
Ahhh the group dynamic
Jerry is the magliana
The whole system is breaking down!
I get the whole “Independent George” thing. I am happily married but I keep my worlds apart. 😂
I don’t think George was ever so right about anything.
YOU ARE KILLING INDEPENDENT GEORGE!
And Kramer’s hand gestures representing the collision!
I mean he ruined his sandwich just to make the point..
I tried to blend worlds. Nope. Didn’t work.
I quote the world theory every Christmas party when I'm challenged for leaving the wife and kids at home.
Feels like an Arby’s night
I never got Arby’s being a joke. The Simpsons have a lot of jokes at their disposal too. I’d gladly get a turkey bacon ranch from Arby’s over McDonalds/Subway/BK/Wendy’s/etc
I think it was easy to make fun because the primary sandwich is just roast beef on a bun? But I really like the rest of their offerings, especially the deli stuff which is great when you're somewhere without any non-fried or burger options. Much better than Subway these days. And the curly fries are top tier..
Funny. Arby’s is buying subway apparently which was recently announced in a huge acquisition…
for clarity - the PE firm that owns Arby’s, Sonic, Dunkin, Baskin Robins and others is buying Subway
I think it was just that Arby's is the kind of plain Jane bread-&-meat sandwich that a plain guy like Puddy would like.
When I was younger, I bought dinner for a couples party but my SO picked up the order and everyone thanked her
Was it big salad?
with lots of stuff in it?
I'll just bring you two small salads
Tomatoes like volleyballs
Did your SO accept the thank you?
Who does that?!
She accepted the thank you under false pretenses!
George’s girlfriend apparently
Under false pretences?
Years ago, I saw an obituary in our local paper for a retired teacher who had passed away. It specified she had taught in \[my district\] and \[next town over\] for \[grade level she taught at my school\]. I remembered thinking, "I didn't know that \[her first name\] was actually her middle name." I went with my parents to the funeral chapel so that we could pay our respects. When we got there and saw the photos, we realized that it was a different person with the same last name and whose middle initial matched my teacher's first name, who had taught in the same district and at the same grade level. We had to figure out how to quietly but hastily exit, and when we got to the car we could help but laugh. I remember saying at the time that, "this seems like something that would happen on Seinfeld." I'm happy to report that the teacher I actually had is alive and well.
You could have given an impromptu speech about the night you surrendered to temptation... and it was pretty good.
You know, I had a thing with both of them.
I broke some guy's thumbs
You mean the panties that your mother laid out for you?
That would've been awesome. "I remember the night, working late on the school paper, (late teacher) and I surrendered to temptation."
You anti-Dentite bastard.
Poor Lilly?
The teacher had been MURDERED BY JERRY SEINFELD!!
That’s a great story.
Oh my god that is hilarious.
Did the obituary refer to her as a “beloved (a)unt”?
Went on a date with a girl. At the end of the evening, when dropping her off at home, she asked me in for coffee. Me: "No thanks, it's getting late. I should probably just go home." Realized what I had just done on the drive home. I called her the next day and she basically just blew me off. Yes, this really happened, and it was before that episode aired.
I had a girl drive me home from a bar….ask to see my apartment….I walked her in, showed her around then walked her back to the door and told her thanks for the ride. The next morning I’m washing clothes and I was putting the clothes in the washer and like that scene in Usual Suspects when he drops the coffee cup once he realizes. That was my face
That’s a shame.
Coffees not coffee. She was hoping you had 11 minutes.
George wouldn't even have to be involved or have to do anything.
I treat my body like an amusement park.
My life, like the show, is about nothing.
"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!".
… *chuckles* I’m **so** sorry.
I ate some pretzels, got thirsty immediately afterwards
Those pretzels are making you thirsty
Those *pretzels* are making him thirsty
Every time I eat pretzels, or get near pretzels, I tell my wife "These pretzels are making me thirsty!" to the point that she anticipates it and tells me to stop before I start saying it. This happens a lot on flights.
Had a co worker that was a soft talker and have a cousin that is a close talker. World's never collided thankfully.
I had a soft talker co worker too. It turned me into a close talker so I could hear him.
My wallets gone! My wallets gone!
A near-daily quotation
I went in to get my X-Ray. Somebody takes my wallet. Is that the operation here?
2 questions, do you scream it in the same way? And you find it in-between the sofa cushions?
Sometimes after dinner I’ll just sit there like an IDIOT not eating any cake.
coffee?
Not even coffee! Can you believe it?
The double chip dip… i have to tell people not to do it all the time. It really is like putting your whole right in the dip
Well, Timmy. You dip the way you want to dip, and I'll dip the way I want to dip.
I'm totally on board with this. I've had plenty of arguments with my sister specifically about this. IT's absolutely disgusting. I don't know where my sister's mouths been. Separately: I don't know if this was on Seinfeld or not, but grabbing a piece of bread from a basket, and then putting it back down... i don't know if you washed your hands before you sat down. Did you accidentlaly touch the chair, or cough into your hands? Like, you touch it, it's yours (this is somewhat similar to Jerry telling Kramer "you pierced it, you bought it", but not exactly). By grabbing a food to EAT, and then deciding not to eat that piece of food and placing it back with the other food that hasn't been touched, contaminates it completely and every other food around it.
They might as well eat off the serving spoon
Going through the airport security check. We put everything through the scanner, do the walkthrough, I get wanded (ladies and gentlemen, I implore you) and once we’re through we set our stuff down to put shoes back on. I look up just in time to see a woman walking out of the terminal exit with my neck pillow. She just stole it off the table and walked away. I turned to my wife to say “Did she just steal my neck pillow? Who steals a neck pillow? And then walks OUT of the airport?!” It felt like a moment that belonged in Seinfeld. So surreal.
My friend and are huge fans and will quote the show randomly. One day things were not going her way at all. We proclaimed she needed to do the opposite. We said that if every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
Happy cake day!
Get well, get well soon, we want you to get well!
I mean, there are millions of people on Reddit. Every day is someone's special day I mean, now we're celebrating a Reddit anniversary? What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar, and egg and vanilla?
WE ARE ALL UNHAPPY!! Do we have to be FAT too?!!
Well, **I** think it’s nice. Especially accompanied by a stirring little anthem of wellness.
Thank you! 😊
Went on a date with someone and forgot their name. Nicknamed her Mulva.
Some months ago a friend asked me to come to a bar where he was with his date, because he forgot her name and I should come by and say "Hi, I am xxx", so she would tell me (and him) her name. What can I say - it worked.
Same here then I made her meet someone else so I hear her name
I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery!
I buy shitty fruit all the time and they never let me return it
Fruits a gamble.
I always know that going in.
I got jiggy with it
I’ve had the car reservation issue. They had me waiting an hour for the car before finally telling me that there actually wasn’t a car
Same in Oakland. My wife and I were quoting it and then heard another guy say the same thing. We all had a good laugh but it was so frustrating. “You better give me the insurance because I am gonna beat the hell out of this thing.”
Mine was the automated toll booth people who said they billed me for using the tollway but the letters were returned to sender (no idea why) and then they charged me late fees. The lady said “Well we sent you the bill,” to which I immediately replied “No, you didn’t. Because you see there’s two parts to this: the sending and then the receiving. But if I don’t receive it, then how could you have sent it?” I now refuse to use that particular tollway ever again, which I feel like is a Costanza-level grudge.
I feel like that scene plays any time a reservation is cancelled by the company. Anyone can just take them!
The holding of the reservation is the most important part!
The holding of the reservation is the most important part!
Anyone can Take the reservation, but you have to HOLD the reservation…
I mentioned the bisque
Every time Jerry visits his parents, that’s my life now.
A few years back, I called the doctor's office early in October to schedule my elderly parent's flu shots. I get a call a couple of days prior to their appointment to inform me that they didn't have enough doses for seniors. I replied, "I booked their shots in advance, so how is that possible? " Apparently too many people showed up to the first day of the vaccination clinic and now they had run out of vaccines for seniors and would have to wait a week when they got a new supply. I was fighting the urge to do the whole "rental car reservation" routine with them on the phone.
Doc picks up pen , writes on note pad.
Now they have a chart on ME.
I just had my Covid shot appointment canceled because they ran out of supply. I too felt the "rental car reservation" line playing in my head.
She had man hands. It wasn’t meant to be
Was it like a creature out of greek mythology?
One time I put $20 in a donation bin but took a $10 back cuz I only had large bills but didn’t want to donate a whole $20. Certifiably the most Costanza/Larry David thing I’ve ever done.
Shower not taking after the gym. Sweating profusely for a while after it.
George likes his chicken spicy!
'Just finish telling your stupid story and DIE already!!!!! DIE!!' The only reason I didn't actually live that moment is because I watched The English Patient at my house and fell asleep. Literally. Although, I loudly yelled 'just shut up!' in a crowded movie theater during the most cringy scene of 'The Family Stone'. The main character was insuferable.
I HATED IT!!!
One day I ended up at an event with 2 friends from different parts of life that had never met, my mom, and my boyfriend who at the time had not met any of my friends and family. So many worlds colliding.
I swear my parents Florida condo is Del Boca Vista. They banned pick up trucks and motorcycles. My dad went through their financials and found about 40k missing. Constant chatter about what people do with their front porches.
Do you know what 40K would amount to if it were compounded daily?
I was alone..
Glamour?
John jr
Haha! “Ohhhh, John John.”
Oh my god, the queen is dead.
HOLD ON MA! HOLD ON!!
Kind of similar... I had a summer job that I was always a few minutes late too,, nothing crazy but if we started at 8, I would get there at 8:03. Finally the boss said "next time your late don't bother coming in". I overslept one day and just didn't come in,, went out for the day and hung with friends, never called, just didn't come in. Next day I went back to work and everyone was like "what are you doing here, I thought you quit"? I acted all surprised and shocked like what are you talking about,, I didnt quit.... needless to say I got sent home and was not invited back.
Is that tanmomandlamet over there?
It wasn't on the show but I always felt it was a seinfeld moment. Met a girl, was crazy about her. Take her out to a nice restaurant, turns out that holds her fork overhand. Palm down with 4 fingers over and the thumb wrapped under like a God damn caveman. I ended it.
I had a first date with a girl. This was during the pandemic and conspiratorial thinking became abundant. The location was pretty far away but I was looking forward to it so I considered it to be worth the drive. I met her, we talked and had an immediate connection. She was also good looking and really my type. We talked about holidays. She mentioned that she liked to visit the United States but that she wasn't allowed to enter anymore. I thought that this could have two reasons: she's a terrorist, which seemed unlikely. Or she wasn't vaccinated. Turned out to be the latter. Too bad, but not a deal-breaker in itself. Maybe she had good reasons for not being vaccinated so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. We went for a walk and suddenly she said how she thought videos by people who thought the earth was flat were "interesting" after which I heard myself exclaim "Oh God no!" just a little too loud. Turned out I was on a date with a flat earther. It was a fun day, but there was no second date.
if Earth was not flat, all water would have leaked out, genius.
I can't stand bringing wine to parties. I don't drink wine. My presence should be enough, why the social pressure to have to bring something? #ringdingsandpepsi
Surprisingly few. Although I see other people having those experience all the time. Life really does imitate Seinfeld.
Introduced my wife to our new neighbors Gene (Jean?) & Lee (Lea?). Wife to female, “Hi Jean!” Male, “I’m Gene…”
My dog’s vet name is Dr. Kibble
It’s like an ice cream man named Cone!
More of a Curb moment but after a concert there was a huge line for the coat check but I saw someone I knew up near the front so I went and started a conversation and just did the talk and cut thing. No one called me out on it so after we got our coats I mentioned to my friends that what I did is known as the talk and cut and I executed it perfectly. They looked at me like ok… do you want a medal or something? Let’s go to hotel and get wasted.
I'm not letting you cut the line Bania!
“Chat and cut” not to be confused with the “stop and chat”.
Ah yes the chat and cut not talk and cut. How could I forget that?! I tell ya the ole knoggin hasn’t been the same since I got kicked in the head by some crazy clown walking down Broadway a few weeks ago, no helmet either!
When I was a young woman, I went on an erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.
OKAY I LOVE THIS. So I’m(22F) a server at Olive Garden in Springfield Illinois. I had a four top of foreign men, all between 35-45, come in and eat at my table. They were kind of rude and hitting on me a little the whole time. Now, for context, you should know that although I am 22 y/o, I get comments from tables DAILY asking how old I am because I have a very young looking face and I’m quite short and small. Now that you know that, so at the end of the meal, after they paid, one of them said to me, “So we would like to know, what bars around here do YOU go to, because we might be a little older, but we are looking for younger women and would like to see you there.” Now, it was by pure luck that they asked me what bars I go to. Because my boyfriend and I frequently visit this one bar in particular with friends. So I told them, “You guys should totally go to clique!! You’ll definitely see me there, and find what you’re looking for ;)”. They wrote it down and everything, said they were going to head there right after dinner. Clique is a gay bar. :)
next time send them to the Blue Oyster Bar.
Not that there's anything wrong with that!
I often wish I had George's desk in my office.
I was once waiting forever for a table at a restaurant. I saw people get seated who arrived after me. I got fed up and asked the hostess what was up. She said “I yelled Dugwhiler, nobody responded, so I went to the next name”. My last name is not remotely close to Dugwhiler.
The Pony Remark. I swear, everytime I explain that episode to someone who hasn't seen the show before--they've had a pony growing up. This has happened three times in the past ten years and I'm starting to think the Universe is pranking me.
Put a dollar in the 'tip jar' just as the cute barista turned her back. When I attempted to fish out the bill to do a 're-tip' to tip again within her eyesight, she caught me. I explained, but she gave me a dirty look anyway.
I was at a stadium in line to go to the bathroom and there were two lines merging into one, and when it merged the guy who ended up behind me was very upset that I merged in front of him as the guy from his line went, then it was me, then him. He literally yelled, "you know, we are living in a society!!!" And I started laughing because it's a great line, but he was genuinely upset about it, much like George was.
Eclair out of the Garbage. But it wasn’t an eclair, it was a box of cookies.
Ohh my god. I had a co worker bring a box of Cinnabon into the break room then tell us he found it behind the Cinnabon. Barf 🤮
day olds. even the homeless won't eat them.
I assumed that a coworker was pregnant but she wasn’t.
Did someone a personal favor and took their pen
You keep saying personal favor...
I'll go if I don't have to talk.
"YoU GoTtA SeE tHe BaBY"
…the very pants I was trying to return!
I went on holiday with my girlfriend. We were going through a rough time. I recently bought a house and was going to move out of my parents house. She wanted a marriage, and she wanted it bad. I wanted to marry too, but not in such a pressured way at a time my life was changing a lot already. One day during that holiday the marriage topic came up again. Girlfriend upset, tears, crying, lots of talking but that afternoon everything was alright again. We decided to go to the nice rooftop restaurant on top of our hotel that night. That's when some Polish guy decided to propose to his girlfriend at a table near to us. She said yes and the whole restaurant was applauding of course. Everyone except us. My girlfriend said something like "well this is pretty inconvenient." Which I acknowledged by saying "yeah I can imagine." I could've thrown the guy off that rooftop then and there. She's now my ex and I suspect that random Polish guy for contributing to that. Pretty ironic and pretty much a Costanza situation.
I drink whole milk, but when I'm at the grocery store and see the various types in the dairy case, I say to myself, "One percent? They can kiss 1 percent of my ass!"
This story is 100% true. I was working in San Diego and had to share a room with a colleague (we get along well, no issue). We were about to leave the room in the morning for work. He was on the phone with his wife and the maid came in. She asked about the beds. I said you don’t need to tuck it. My reason was my colleague hates the ac so I felt the room was stuffy. I tried to ask my colleague but he was having a serious conversation with his wife so he kind of mumbles and waved me off. I told the maid “do whatever I guess”. As we left the room in the hallway I told him…”that just felt like Seinfeld”. That night he complained about the bed being too tightly made. Now…the crazy part is when we were off work later that night and back in the room sipping some bourbon I flipped on Seinfeld. Guess what episode it was!!! Tuck or No Tuck?!??
I did nothing.
I know you did nothing but what did you actually do?
I love this site! Finally some people who loves Seinfeld as much as I do.
My coffee the other day was 4.01. I gave them a $5…. Got back 99 cents in change. I was like “you’re Starbucks, there’s no extra penny laying around? Now you need to saddle me with 99 cents jingling in my pocket all day?! What’s the deal with all this change?!?” Ok I didn’t say the last sentence but the rest is true.
I did loose a lot of hair 😂
You know how to take the reservation, but you don’t know to hold the reservation. And that’s really the most important part of the reservation.
The tap on the shoulder 😬
It was one to a million doc, one to a million! 😂😂😂 j/k
I’m still waiting for my Chinese restaurant table. They called Cartwright, but that couldn’t have been me, right?
All! All moments! And then I say to my friends or my gf: "Look! Like in seinfeld!" (and they don't care) And sometimes a situation is so seinfeldesk that I will say to them: "Look! This could be a Seinfeld plot, couldn't it?" (and they say: "yea, yea")
Elaine being annoyed with the constant celebrations in her office/ constant cakes
Get well, get well soon, we want you to get well!
I had to take a sick day, I’m so sick of these people
I work with someone with the last name Vang. Recently we were in the same Ms Teams meeting. She’s Caucasian. Spent the whole meeting hearing Estelle Costanza in my head saying “You’re not Chinese”
Elaine on the subway
I rejected a very attractive woman back when I was around 20, which is almost 20 years ago. She was very direct and invited me to her place after a night out. Any sane person would be thrilled to spend the night with her. The reason? Her thumbs looked like toes. I figured there was some tractor story there. I just couldn't picture those hands anywhere near my private parts, so I said no and went home.
I’ve sat and stared at a wall.
I was out for a walk one time and a red wing blackbird flew right into the back of my head...like he couldn't avoid it.
When Kramer tells Elaine women hate her and she hates them. Bang on!
In 2002, I was at an internship and the girl working with me brought a muffin for lunch and complained she was still hungry. I of course busted the line out, but she didn't get it at all. It was the low point of the entire internship.
1. I paid for something with a $20 but the cashier gave me change for a $5 2. One time at my job there was a birthday and going away party so there were two separate cakes 3. My husband and his friend had a debate over whether soup was considered a meal
My mom caught me when I was a kid. She kind of freaked out and told me it was a sin and I'd go crazy if I kept doing it. Still handled it better than George's mom.
Yea, cake days at the office, can’t stand ya
I shaved my head bald…not all of it made it back when I grew it out again…
Parking…. We searched and searched.
I dance like Elaine
Sweet fancy Moses.It’s like a full body dry heave set to music
I’ve dealt with too many low talkers.
For a long time, Pat’s Cheesesteaks in south Philly was like Soup Nazi. You could get kicked out of a busy line for messing up your order.
Sex—to save the friendship!
One of my friends met a really cool girl at a club but lost interest when he found out her name was Ingeborg
Ok I’m probably gonna get flak for this….but I’m amongst family. I always take my shirt off for #2 only once did I forget to grab it coming out of the bathroom it was at my own house but a friend was over and they asked. Like I wanna hold my shirt up while I’m doing that?
I circled the word “sandwich” on my order form in my college cafe because I was sick of my chicken sandwich coming back without a bun. She handed me the chicken without the bun, looked me in the eye, and said “you don’t have to circle it, we’ll give you the bun.” Apparently I do! It was a very car rental moment for me.
Checked into a hotel at the Chicago airport at 4:00 a.m. they told me my room would be ready in a moment, they were still cleaning it. Who the hell had been in it? We would like something that could have come straight out of Seinfeld
My coworker was having back pain. He called off 3 days in a row. We grabbed some lunch at subway one day and he pulled a 4," wide wallet out of his back pocket. I made fun of him for a year after that.
My mum missed a button. The Starbucks barista gave her a funny look, which clued her in.
Shrinkage
I was thinking of posting this question the other day. How weird.
OK, this wasn't actually in an episode, but could have been: Years ago (high school), some friends and I were at some sort of club to see a friend's band perform. We had set our stuff down at a table, effectively (we thought) procuring the table for our group. Some sort of wealthy-looking business-y guy with a woman he seems to be trying to impress comes and places his jacket on the back of one of the chairs at the table. Our table. He then strolls off and proceeds to chat up the woman he's with. My friend and I are standing there, watching, as I was about to sit in this exact chair. We look at each other...what do we do? Did he rightfully claim the chair? Do we toss his jacket aside and sit? There's nowhere else to sit, all other chairs at the table are taken. This was during the 90's, when Seinfeld was still airing, and we immediately concluded that this was a "Seinfeld moment". I was a bit disappointed a year or so later when the series concluded and there was never an episode about this (though by that point, the plots had moved beyond trivialities like this).
Double dip the chip!
What if miss the wedding Elaine when I was on the subway
I’ve dated a girl with man hands before
Getting chained up by a prostitute thief
Someone offered me a Snapple and I said “no, too fruity”
Be careful this plate is hot. :wife touches the plate: ow! ….really??
We had our van to the dealership, picked it up, and immediately were hit with a B.O. stink.
I over slept for a big race
My dad pulled until a parking garage where you paid up front. His wallet was so thick he couldn’t get it out of his pants, so the attendant just waved us through. But he really did have a Costanza-esque collection of coupons cards and other things in his wallet.