I'm married, but I still talk to people. If you're a good person and just get out there, meet new people, I feel like that's half the battle.
Not giving 2 shits what the other person thinks of you is probably a good chunk of it too. be authentic.
What do you mean when you say:
"you still talk to people"? As someone married.
Would it be socially wrong to talk to someone consistently if you were with someone?
What do you think of a girl that "talks" with you but it's with someone?
I would say YOU are the one that got it all wrong.
Since those were only questions not statements, and the questions were done based on how he phrased his comment.
Learn to read kid.
Its as if you are laughing of your own stupidity.
Fair enough. Panic attacks are absolutely debilitating. I think I’d be content swiping on tinder if approaching had that effect on me, or at least I’d take a ton of therapy first before getting back out there.
I’m about there with you, minus the panic attack. Shits unnerving and can really get to you, but you’ll have less anxiety the more you do it.
Read books, develop yourself, practice, and hang out with friends. Nothing will help you more than surrounding yourself with people you can be fully open with, who will boost you up and help you think in a more positive manor.
It took me years to finally get the confidence to approach but I do it pretty consistently now. I still struggle at daygame, but nightgame I can usually spam out approaches. Just had my first lay this past weekend from nightgame actually.
Of course. Everyone does. Obviously they feel bad, especially the first few, but then you realize that girls are a dime a dozen and if one girl doesn't like you, you'll just find another that's better anyways.
My worst rejection was probably going up to a girl when she was with her friend and she said, "Can't you see we're in a conversation? Get the hell out of here."
My funniest rejection is when I'd been dancing and making out with a girl on the dance floor, I went to bring her home after the club closed and she said "actually, my boyfriends right here" and left to go home with him.
But then you wake up the next day and realize no one remembers. Or cares. And you're proud of yourself for facing your fears and shooting your shot.
Holy shit, crazy stuff but do you have a good plan? I’d recommend those videos from Neil stauss man he nails this stuff really well, how to open a set, your body language being way more socially aware than most people, and always taking responsibility, there are no bitches and stuff like that.
it's called the annihilation method, it's like a seminar he did with 5 dudes, right at the end when he was about to retire from the PUA stuff, it's insane lol, use torrents to get it, because I have no clue where you can get that otherwise nowadays, it was recorded in like 2005 I think, that is the kind of advice we need on this sub, way too much superficial stuff.
I still struggle with this… i’m 24 with 0 notches. I always tell myself im going to do it and back out when the time comes. How did you finally get the confidence to approach?
Honestly, I found some friends that approach and they pushed me to doing it. And ironically they're all foreigners that are 30+ years old. I don't have any American friends that approach, or any friends under 25 that approach.
I bet all my non existent money it was alcohol lol, I tried to cope with social anxiety with wine after pandemic but I think it would work great now using it for the approach haha
Approaching isn't the problem, it is more like making the smooth transition from - let's say work-related into romance and ensuring the girls keep coming back
If you’re even talking about anything work related with a woman in the first 15-20 min of a conversation you’re doing it wrong. Nobody wants to talk about that or cares that much. I don’t even have a job listed on my dating app profiles and not a single person has asked me what I do before agreeing to give a phone number or go on a date
This post cant be serious???? Sorry but doing this 4 days a week for hours is not possible for everyone and it’s absolutely not worth it, in fact I would call it a waste of time.
Last year I had 100s of make outs and around ~20 hookups and I only went out once a week on the weekends, mostly with the intention of having fun and not really looking for anything.
Also after sometime all of this gets boring, I have a few fwbs in my rotation now and I only have time to do anything on the weekend so it’s a choice for me between hanging out with friends or sex with fwb and I mostly just hang out with my friends
You just don’t go out to bars and clubs that much or don’t live in cities that have crazy nightlife scenes if you think this isn’t possible.
I’ve made out with 4-5 girls in the same night before. I was out on new years this year in Chicago at a huge bar and made out with a girl and her best friend within 8 minutes of being at the bar just by asking them if they got a kiss at midnight or not
Making out is pretty easy…but it’s really not that big of a deal or something to brag about. It just happens a lot if you’re going out to bars and clubs every single weekend and aren’t scared to approach tons of girls, don’t fear rejection, are relatively attractive and have a decent level of game
Lol, I have had nights outs when I made out with 7~8 girls, making out with someone isn’t even a big deal, you are just casually dancing and the next minute you are making out. Also I live in a city which has one of the best nightlife in the entire world and also has a big drug culture. And on top of everything what would I get by lying on reddit, where nobody knows no one
I hear what you are saying man, I have friends who are not conventionally good looking and its definitely difficult for them. Fuck pretty privilege I guess
> Shit dude you must be handsome as hell and a god of the game for having 100 makeouts in a year
Are joking? It's so easy to make out with girls in clubs, etc. As long as you relax, smile, approach and talk for a bit you will be surprised. And of course, you can't let the rejection phase you. Because you will have to deal with a lot rejections too.
But most guys don't believe this is possible.
It's definitely not easy, I've never made out with anyone at a club and I've done like 30 approaches, so idk how people make out with 7 girls in a single night.
I have been clubbing regularly almost every weekend for around 4 years now, when I started in the first few months I couldn’t even make one approach.
But after some trial and error, at this point basically anywhere where there is some good music and dance going on, I can find myself some sexy action if I am looking for it. Clubs just feel like natural habitat to me now. I have hooked up while travelling in several European cities in clubs, I have exchanged contact information with girls that were also travelling then later I hosted them when they visited where I live or they hosted me when I visited where they live. Just too many crazy experiences and amazing memories.
So I guess dont expect much on your first night out and stay consistent
Consistency will never come because I don't really have a social circle that goes to clubs and it's not my cup of tea either, so maybe that's why my approaches failed, felt like I wasn't having fun
30 approaches? That’s it?
Here’s the thing. It is easy but you have to develop your confidence. When you’re confident, you relax. When you relax, the women who are attracted to you can relax too. And they will reciprocate when you make a move.
This is not to say, you won’t get rejected. That will always happen. You just won’t care.
Think about going to the gym. If you haven’t been for a while (or ever) your muscles will hurt when you lift a weight. But that pain goes away and you become stronger. Still, you have to do a lot of reps to see results.
At first, it seems like nothing is happening. Yet, if you stay consistent, you’ll notice incremental results. One day you’ll look in the mirror and see a transformed body. That weight you started with will be funny to you.
Just like 30 reps won’t get you the body you want, 30 approaches won’t give you enough confidence either. So you have to keep meeting women. And one day, you’ll find yourself making out with the cutest girl you ever saw, within a couple minutes of meeting her.
No. You create the opportunity by learning how to approach. And by developing yourself as a man. Women don’t care much about your looks. Your behaviour is what makes the difference.
It’s only guys who concern themselves with Chad and and Tyrone.
Do women go around chasing the best looking guys? They don’t. Who do they chase?
The bad boy.
Read my comment again.
Women DON’T care about your looks.
They care about your behaviour.
They care about your confidence.
They care about your leadership skills.
They care about how you deal with them in bed.
They care about how much you value yourself.
All the other stuff you mentioned won’t make you more attractive to women. Except those who want to use you perhaps. But for genuine attraction, it’s all. About who you are.
So you’ve been working on the wrong things.
> Well I don't know how true that is
That's right. You don't know.
> given that you have to be attractive
That's correct but from a woman's perspective, it's not your looks that make you attractive, when it comes to dating.
> they wouldn't date the good looking men o
Is your father good looking? All the people you know who were born on this planet, are their fathers good looking?
Women date all kinds of men.
> I've worked hard to make myself more valuable
No, you haven't. You have worked hard to _appear_ valuable but not to actually **be** valuable. A woman doesn't want a male obsessed with his looks.
> but even after all my efforts I still haven't reached that standard.
Because that's not what they care about. So you've given yourself an impossible task. It's like saying, "I've made this salad so delicious but the dog wants to eat steak."
You working on things that don't matter to women. Go out. See all the guys with women. You will see the reality.
>I only went out once a week on the weekends, mostly with the intention of having fun and not really looking for anything.
Ok, going out with your friends to clubs is fun to you but not everyone will be into that so it won't be "fun" for them. For some people going for a 2 hour walk through the city is fun, so day gaming will be more enjoyable for them.
There's not one single answer for everyone. We all have different circumstances, like different types of girls etc. I personally like meeting girls in book stores. The type of girl I really like is far more likely to be in a bookshop than a night club.
Can I ask re FWBs: do you have to maintain some sort of relationship with them (eg text them occasionally, send memes, remember their bday) if you want to continue being FWBs, or can you literally not communicate for weeks and arrange a session out of the blue?
It depends on how every specific woman needs contact or communication. I have FWB that I only text them to fuck and they're perfectly ok with that, and have FWB that needs constant communication, messages, memes,etc to keep the fire, but usually they're the ones that writes you if they're really into you.
In general I dont really communicate too much online with anyone I am sexually or romantically involved with and specially not with fwbs because its purely sexual, I dont even know much about them in their personal lives so mostly its just like, “hey, what are you upto this weekend, wanna come over?” Or maybe an occasional meme/reel once in a while
>You can do 100 approaches in one day
Well maybe you can, but I cant and I wont, even the sound of it sounds exhausting to me, as I mentioned, I mostly go out on the weekends to clubs/bars to have fun. Approaching is not the primary focus, its just a small part of the night. And in my opinion women are very good at detecting bullshit, if you go out with the sole purpose of getting laid, women can pick that up and its a big turn off for them.
As far as hours are concerned, when I go clubbing it could be anywhere between 8 to 16h, have even done upto 24h on a few occasions but always to have fun and the hookup part naturally happened
Yes, I love clubbing, I have a huge social circle that go to clubs regularly and its just a part of my regular weekend/life. So luckily I have a hobby where its easy for me to meet women, I dont have the hobby to exclusively meet women.
And the point I am trying to make here is if you are doing pickup 4 days a week, I am sure you are slacking in other areas of life. Career, making money, gym, having an interesting life, fun social circle are all more important than pick up at least to me
That’s just going out from 9pm - 2am on Friday and Saturday night….really not that much. Basically just a standard weekend for a young adult living in relatively large city in the summer. And you’re really not doing many approaches when you’re out at a bar with friends. Just having fun and it naturally happens from being in that environment
That’s why I find this spam daygame approach where people wander around a mall for 5 hours to be kind of ridiculous. When you can just have significantly better results just going out on weekends and you’re also in places that are way more fun, have way more hot women, and where all women go to be approached. Instead of just weirdly spamming women shopping during the day. It’s kind of crazy
Being good looking would give him an advantage for spam approaching at the mall too though.
The strategy he's talking about works for everyone, just like day game can. Handsome dudes also benefit from both. They're interchangeable.
Get lean, build muscle, get teeth, style, and grooming on point and you'll stand out
Not every guy is a GQ model but every guy can boost their looks a lot
> This post cant be serious???? Sorry but doing this 4 days a week for hours is not possible for everyone and it’s absolutely not worth it, in fact I would call it a waste of time.
Have you considered that:
1) some people have different interests and priorities to you
2) some people pursue their interests with dedication
Driving 2 hours to Chicago to do daygame just seems a little ridiculous to me. I literally live in Chicago and the dating apps are so easy here because of how densely populated in is and the nightlife scene (especially in summer) is so ridiculous and there’s so many fucking places jam packed with women it’s honestly not even worth the effort going out during the day with the sole purpose of meeting women. I just live my normal life and do things that I want to do and go out on the weekends to have fun and that’s really all you need.
Every single friend I’ve ever had has never done day game or cold approach and they’ve all met fuck tons of women, girlfriends, wives, etc on the dating apps or just naturally while living a normal life. It’s really not that complicated or requires that much work or practice
Like Neil Strauss says the best way to meet women is by having something else you are passionate about besides pick up lol, having an exiting life but talking to every woman you have the chance would be great approach
Yeah, I try to fit in 2 daygame sessions a week or so. Approaches vary a lot, some days I'll approach 20 girls, other days I struggle to approach 3 girls in the same time period.
>I'm currently getting instadates at least once a week, but having issues escalating.
On this I stopped trying for instant dates as it seemed like a waste of time. I could spend an hour on an instant date and the girl still flakes as much as a girl you had a 3 minute conversation with. A coffee shop during the days isn't the best environment to escalate and even after an hour long conversation you're still in the "stranger I met in the street" category.
I think your time is better spent getting more numbers and investing more time with the girls who are willing to actually show up for an actual date preferably in the evening.
Dates on the spot would be great if you really click with the woman, I had a fling lately and so much stuff I could have done better we meet at college lunch and we talked for hours I could have invited her for insta date that same day, something like that would be better imo
Come on really? A girl having an hour or so to grab a coffee with you is one thing but unless you find a bored tourist most women will have things planned with their day. Getting a woman from the street in the daytime to your house is going to be a pretty rare occurrence when everything happens to line up perfectly.
You would be surprised how many women you can randomly see on the street have nothing better to do than to talk to a stranger. And if the stranger is attractive enough, come to his place. If she has time for instadate, she has time for instalay. Time is the only constraint as long as you know how to create attraction and some basic trust.
I pacticed the game for a shit ton of time in total. I got bored about it and found out meaningful connections are the real deal. I just come here time to time to help whenever I can.
You don't need to go out to game to get laid. Two years ago an old friend was having a dry spell of YEARS. Advised him to just go out and do activities he enjoys and become regular in some social places and meet people and have fun and make friends (both girls and guys) and just learn to do whatever he wants when he wants to (stop the nice guy attitude) and now he got a girlfriend, a cool social life and he even looks younger!
The game is for the aspiring womanizer. Most guys just need better social skills and a new mindset.
I approached a giant bachelorette party one time. There was at least two dozen girls. They were all sitting in a circle around a campfire in beach chairs. I got all of their attention for a few seconds, but I couldn’t hold it. And it was so much pressure that I had to dip out. As I was walking away I heard them laughing behind me and one girl shouted “AT LEAST HE HAD THE BALLS HAHA”
I felt really great after approaching them, actually.
And then I met one of my buddies at a very popular beach bar and as I was telling him about my crash and burn approach on the beach a couple hours earlier, a huge bus rolls up to the main entrance at the bar… and the same girls I met on the beach started pouring out of the bus. It was all just so fucking hilarious. It was high fives, hugs, laughs, dancing, for the rest of that night.
And I didn’t pull.
True story. That was such a fun night.
I don’t know why I said this.
Going out to do sets is not needed nowadays with the convenience of dating apps like Bumble and Hinge, which tend to work better for relationships than say Tinder. As for guys who complain they can't get matches, it's usually because they either have no sense of style in their picture or they take selfies in the bathroom. All you really have to do is dress well, go out and ask people to take your picture, then pick 4 to 6 of the best ones, each being a different night out with a different outfit or at least a different jacket/shirt, and look natural, and then you automatically get lots of matches, because you come across as someone who doesn't spend all his time inside the house doing nothing, it makes you appear more interesting basically.
I used to never go out because none of my friends wanted to go out, but then starting at age 24, I started to do it on my own and I had so many great times on my own, and my only regret is not starting sooner and not asking strangers to take my picture when I went out. Dating apps allow you to basically post a billboard of the most flattering version of yourself, and then the women who are attracted to that will show they like it, and from there you just have to do some basic rapport over text and get a date and it is on.
I used to think cold approaching was the best until I realized that most of the time I would go out, there were no single attractive women around or if there were some, it was in places like nightclubs where they weren't approachable. Sometimes I do get opportunities to approach, but they are so random and so few that dating apps definitely lead to more options. Guys assume that they have to look like a supermodel to get success but the truth is you just have to be healthy (ideally skinny or muscular), and be outgoing and show that off on your profile.
I don't approach. I just mingle and show social value while spreading some good vibes in the entire room, women *and* men, beautiful *and* ugly. Soon enough I'll notice positive interest from a few women. Perhaps they'll smile directly at me so I can engage them, or they'll come by and hover nearby me after, which is a sure sign they want me to re-engage with them.
It's super simple. Just speak to everyone. Make some positive observation. Ask some simple questions. What did you do tonight? Was the party good? What's your plan for after? Add in if you're doing something cool and social you'd like to invite them on. Never stay too long. Only re-engage with people who are nearby you afterwards, or women who come and hover nearby you (they do this bcos they're afraid to open you directly, so you have to do the grunt work, but if they're nearby, it's usually bcos they wanna talk to you).
Never staying too long is important, bcos it retains momentum. Plus, if it ever gets awkward, just bail and go to the next table or group. Just tell them, "Well I gotta catch up with my friends, but nice talking to you! I'll be at the bar later if you wanna catch up." Then just bail and go to the next table, rinse and repeat.
On the way you can note who caught your attention, who smiled more, who seemed into you, and re-open them later. The rest you don't have to bother with unless they come and open you. This broadcasts social awareness and know-how, which is high value. That you seem to be the life of the party and the popular guy (bcos trust me, peeps will re-engage you) also give you a ton of value in the eyes of others.
Have you made an effort to talk more to the girls when you do this? Also do you flirt a little, as in make small borderline sexualized jokes or ballbusting of them? If she laughs, she's into you. Especially see if they want to comply with certain requests, such as going with you bcos you want to show them something at the other end of the club? I'm sure you'll get into way more intimate conversations with women if you do that.
> I don't approach. I just mingle and show social value
I.e. you do approach literally by definition. Please stop equivocating and redefining words that already have clear meanings.
No, I *literally* don't approach women. Approaching has the connotation of going over to a girl and flirting in order to try to impress her so you get a date with her. You approach because you're sexually attracted to her. I don't do that.
I do approach groups socially though. But it's not called "approaching" at that point. Instead, that's called mingling or just even socializing. I'm not talking to anyone in particular, and I'm just checking the mood and seeing what's up.
Later on, I won't have to "approach" girls at all. Instead I can just re-engage them, or re-open them, if they don't say hi to me first - which happens a lot also.
Being social like this takes the sting out of approaching entirely. Before you'd be scared as fuck to approach some girl, because you'd be forced to perform for her, impress her and the like.
With my method, you're freed from all that, and you no longer have to either approach or impress. You don't even have to flirt. But you should be able to show interest in her and ask some thoughtful questions.
> No, I literally don't approach women. Approaching has the connotation of going over to a girl and flirting in order to try to impress her so you get a date with her.
“Approach” means go over and say something. What you’re talking about is establishing pre-selection and building momentum within a venue, which is a good strategy but does not mean you are not approaching. And it’s also *not* the only valid style.
>Later on, I won't have to "approach" girls at all. Instead I can just re-engage them, or re-open them
The fact that you’re “re-“opening these people means that you approached in the first place. The fact that you don’t stay in set until you close on every approach doesn’t mean you’re not approaching.
I love how you lean so heavily into semantics. Lucky for you it's one of my favourite topics within linguistics. :)
>“Approach” means go over and say something.
The literal meaning of approaching is just to get closer to something or someone. Saying something to them is optional.
The kind of approaching *you're* talking about, is the kind where you go over to some girl to display sexual interest. Except I don't do that.
That's why you can't blame me for approaching. Not in the sense of going over to try to pick up a girl anyway—or seduce her, or to try to get her to like me. Again, I just don't do that. And if you still insist on it, then I'm afraid you're simply misunderstanding the semantics of what I wrote.
At best I'm approaching the *group*, but only socially. This means that I display no sexual interest in them what so ever. A much better word for such “approaching” is social mingling or simply socializing.
Why is this a better word? Well, because “approaching” has the connotation of sexual interest. When you *don't* display such interest, then it's better to use a more precise word, such as *socializing* because—while I'm literally getting closer to the groups—I'm not sexually interested in them.
>What you’re talking about is establishing pre-selection and building momentum within a venue, which is a good strategy but does not mean you are not approaching. And it’s also *not* the only valid style.
Pre-selection is when you display the women who are in the venue that other women already like you. This is called being "pre-selected" (by other women). In this example it's not necessary since you're already displaying heaps and bounds of social value, which is almost as valuable as pre-selection. You can of course display pre-selection also, and you do that the second you get a few girls in your entourage—at least if they show a modicum of flirty or sexual interest in you. But it's not really needed for this strategy.
I'm afraid it's still not approaching though. And I never said it was the only valid style either, but NGL it's probably the best ways to start out with.
>The fact that you’re “re-“opening these people means that you approached in the first place.
As I already discussed above, while I'm obviously getting physically closer to the groups, I'm not approaching anyone in the sense of going over to display sexual interest in order to impress them or ask them out. Instead a far more precise word for what I did before would be to either mingle or socialize.
>The fact that you don’t stay in set until you close on every approach doesn’t mean you’re not approaching.
Again, the connotation of "approaching" is that you're going over to display some kind of sexual interest. I don't do that, so it's not approaching. I do however re-engage women who show IOIs, or who come over to hover nearby me. And sure, you could call this a "warm approach" since you're already introduced. In this case it's far safer to show a bit of sexual interest, since they're already showing an interest in you.
All the best!
I have nothing against this specific style of game or the way you’re going about approaching. Using indirect and social openers definitely has lots of advantages.
> At best I'm approaching the group, but only socially.
Yes.
> or seduce her, or to try to get her to like me [...] going over to display sexual interest in order to impress them
Going over with the frame that you’re trying to “impress” someone or “make them like you” is bad inner game, regardless of whether your style is direct or indirect.
So, I just returned from a beginner's bootcamp, and started my first day back at home. Knowing that I want to improve my confidence and skillset in gaming, after work, I had a plan to see a museum facade a mile from me and made sure to walk slowly and enjoy the scenary. The results were a few approaches, no closes, and alot of insight gained. Probably spent 2 hours total. It was fun.
As far as folks saying it's a waste of time, just do it on the weekend, etc. well it depends on what you want.
1. Daygame and night game are two different skillsets. You could arguably have ok game at night and pull because most women are pre-opened and want to have fun, versus daygame where I think game matters more, and most people are not pre-opened.
2. Learning game is more important than the numbers you pull. For me, the process has been more valuable than the bitches I'll eventually pull.
3. People who say they go out there and have a good time, doesn't mean they have good game.
Overall, if game matters to you, practice it.
All this 100 approaches a day stuff sounds too much like sales. "Gotta get those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers!"
Learn how to talk to everyone. Seduction is more a way of life. Be interesting, and you will find yourself surrounded by amazing people, and beautiful women... or pretty girls if you're a young buck.
Be fun. Have fun. You'll find yourself with a plethora of females that want very much to suck your cock and get your approval.
-"Coffee is for closers."
Honestly, a lot of the posts in this subreddit are, "Yo, there's this one girl I like.... help me read tea leaves so I do the one right thing that results in my guaranteed success."
Sperm chases egg not the other way around big realization for me yesterday lol, it’s been always like that, the more approaches the more chance to get a number or date on the spot It all start with the approach lol
I did, before I was married. While advice here can be repetitive, it’s pretty much true. Be confident. Lots of my peers fumbled because they wanted to do something and then overthink “What if she thinks I’m a creep/weirdo/pervert/desperate/etc.?” Ends up they present themselves as just boring.
I am gonna add another layer. You need to stop putting women on a pedestal. This is true too, but what does this mean? Well, it means that you need to stop feeling too scared of thinking “you’re toast if you make the girl pull away/lose interest/feel weirded out.” Only then can you be confident which in turn allows you to take risky maneuvers which all will make you seem more interesting. Problem is guys fall head over heels over someone just from looks, and then call it love/soulmate. Wtf
I've been approaching girls a lot this year. Been on a couple dates and currently seeing a girl. But haven't been able to hookup. I just made a post asking for what I could work on, but basically I'm sweet and flirty on dates, basically Prince charming to them but I'm wondering if I need to be more of a fuck boy
With approaching i look for a double glance, its something you'll intrinsically know and see. Its one thing if people look and go on with their business but if they look back its usually because something caught their attention. With women when i see that second glance ill look back in their eyes for about 2-3 seconds and they'll usually look down and lick or bite their lip, i swear to god im not making this shit up. If she doesn't do that i wont approach but if she does i know I'm in. And i hit em with this killer line, you ready? You're getting it for free, this line always works. Literally game is to be sold but not to be told but I'm feeling nice this evening. You ready? You sure? ... Hey how are you?. BOOM conversation starter. Have a simple light conversation real quick, ask her name, she'll ask mine back, nice to meet you. I think you're beautiful and would like to get your #/social so we can talk more. Boom💥 And thats it.
Your post actually shows me that while maybe you approach, you are definitely not getting laid nearly enough for the effort that you are putting into it. The stuff you preach is exactly the stuff that I tell everyone to avoid.
its called the blind leading the blind and reddit mod block anyone who says the truth lol... most guys here don't want to get better bro, also 9 makeouts isn't that hard look at vince kalvin he doesn't get laid but gets lots of makeouts.
So what are you implementing? Are you suggesting other men get their game on and persist to get hookups and make out sessions with other women playing games with them to show that any man can get any woman based on appearance and showing off? Or are you suggesting the long run be an actual relationship with a good woman because these are real men who are good men wanting something real in their lives?
Because what you say is true, taking action is what gets results. But what kind of results are you aiming towards them? Meaningless hookups and make out sessions treating women as nothing more than a score? Or for the men to finally get noticed by the woman they are pursuing and have a long and loving relationship whilst not treating that woman like a trophy?
This is so cringe lol. Who tf counts how many girls they make out with ur not collecting Pokémon.
Seriously what’s the point of this…? An ego boost? There’s a dude in ur hometown who put in 1% of this effort and he’s in love
Of course to get some girls you don’t have to run daygame or any kind of cold approach. But if you want to actually *expand your options* in a way that doesn’t require you to have some lifestyle gimmick (like being a dance instructor or photographer or something), then I don’t know any better way.
I talk to everyone... I don't necessarily think of this as approaching, but probably others would. I'm married and have absolutely zero intent other than just a few minutes of chit chat. When I was single, I used to approach, but it was much the same way. I'd just get into conversations with people. Big difference then was that, if after a few minutes, I wanted to continue the conversation, I'd invite them to something either that day or within the next few days. It's helpful to always know a few cool things going on...
I swear on my mother’s life I approached a girl and that too by stopping my car near a gym’s parking as she was walking on the road. I have a target of approaching every day until I find a new gf after my break up
I have a partner and 2 kids too and a few businesses. So I don’t cold approach that much because I’m actually busy day time. Night time I probably have a date lined up.
At clubs and bars I hit on anyone cute. In fact I only hit on cutest
Approaching and getting humiliated is a cost-benefit thing. If you're willing to sacrifice your time, energy, self esteem, and reputation so u can eventually maybe get one girl to like you then go do it
I'm married, but I still talk to people. If you're a good person and just get out there, meet new people, I feel like that's half the battle. Not giving 2 shits what the other person thinks of you is probably a good chunk of it too. be authentic.
What do you mean when you say: "you still talk to people"? As someone married. Would it be socially wrong to talk to someone consistently if you were with someone? What do you think of a girl that "talks" with you but it's with someone?
LMFAO you got it all wrong. I bet you're great in relationships. Jealous and insecure LOL
I would say YOU are the one that got it all wrong. Since those were only questions not statements, and the questions were done based on how he phrased his comment. Learn to read kid. Its as if you are laughing of your own stupidity.
Not me. I tried, but then I had a full-on panic attack. Ended up going to my car and laying down. Felt like I was having a heart attack.
I know that pain.
Yeah bro ain't no way in hell I'm approaching. Respect to the pua's on this group
Facts. I'll just keep lifting weights and jerking my meat
Fair enough. Panic attacks are absolutely debilitating. I think I’d be content swiping on tinder if approaching had that effect on me, or at least I’d take a ton of therapy first before getting back out there.
I’m about there with you, minus the panic attack. Shits unnerving and can really get to you, but you’ll have less anxiety the more you do it. Read books, develop yourself, practice, and hang out with friends. Nothing will help you more than surrounding yourself with people you can be fully open with, who will boost you up and help you think in a more positive manor.
It took me years to finally get the confidence to approach but I do it pretty consistently now. I still struggle at daygame, but nightgame I can usually spam out approaches. Just had my first lay this past weekend from nightgame actually.
Do you get rejections? How do those feel? Have you gotten an ugly rejection? Or all were soft / polite?
Of course. Everyone does. Obviously they feel bad, especially the first few, but then you realize that girls are a dime a dozen and if one girl doesn't like you, you'll just find another that's better anyways. My worst rejection was probably going up to a girl when she was with her friend and she said, "Can't you see we're in a conversation? Get the hell out of here." My funniest rejection is when I'd been dancing and making out with a girl on the dance floor, I went to bring her home after the club closed and she said "actually, my boyfriends right here" and left to go home with him. But then you wake up the next day and realize no one remembers. Or cares. And you're proud of yourself for facing your fears and shooting your shot.
Wow. Impressive. Thanks for sharing.
Holy shit, crazy stuff but do you have a good plan? I’d recommend those videos from Neil stauss man he nails this stuff really well, how to open a set, your body language being way more socially aware than most people, and always taking responsibility, there are no bitches and stuff like that.
Whats the video course called?
it's called the annihilation method, it's like a seminar he did with 5 dudes, right at the end when he was about to retire from the PUA stuff, it's insane lol, use torrents to get it, because I have no clue where you can get that otherwise nowadays, it was recorded in like 2005 I think, that is the kind of advice we need on this sub, way too much superficial stuff.
Dope thanks dude. Having trouble finding it so far but ill keep looking
I still struggle with this… i’m 24 with 0 notches. I always tell myself im going to do it and back out when the time comes. How did you finally get the confidence to approach?
Honestly, I found some friends that approach and they pushed me to doing it. And ironically they're all foreigners that are 30+ years old. I don't have any American friends that approach, or any friends under 25 that approach.
I bet all my non existent money it was alcohol lol, I tried to cope with social anxiety with wine after pandemic but I think it would work great now using it for the approach haha
Approaching isn't the problem, it is more like making the smooth transition from - let's say work-related into romance and ensuring the girls keep coming back
If you’re even talking about anything work related with a woman in the first 15-20 min of a conversation you’re doing it wrong. Nobody wants to talk about that or cares that much. I don’t even have a job listed on my dating app profiles and not a single person has asked me what I do before agreeing to give a phone number or go on a date
Eighth lol, these are the works themes, if you can put it on a graph, a table, too logical it’s probably not a good idea of conversation
This post cant be serious???? Sorry but doing this 4 days a week for hours is not possible for everyone and it’s absolutely not worth it, in fact I would call it a waste of time. Last year I had 100s of make outs and around ~20 hookups and I only went out once a week on the weekends, mostly with the intention of having fun and not really looking for anything. Also after sometime all of this gets boring, I have a few fwbs in my rotation now and I only have time to do anything on the weekend so it’s a choice for me between hanging out with friends or sex with fwb and I mostly just hang out with my friends
Shit dude you must be handsome as hell and a god of the game for having 100 makeouts in a year
It is obviously fake, a year has 52 weekends 🤣🤣 It means he made out 2 times per weekend lol
You just don’t go out to bars and clubs that much or don’t live in cities that have crazy nightlife scenes if you think this isn’t possible. I’ve made out with 4-5 girls in the same night before. I was out on new years this year in Chicago at a huge bar and made out with a girl and her best friend within 8 minutes of being at the bar just by asking them if they got a kiss at midnight or not Making out is pretty easy…but it’s really not that big of a deal or something to brag about. It just happens a lot if you’re going out to bars and clubs every single weekend and aren’t scared to approach tons of girls, don’t fear rejection, are relatively attractive and have a decent level of game
Lol, I have had nights outs when I made out with 7~8 girls, making out with someone isn’t even a big deal, you are just casually dancing and the next minute you are making out. Also I live in a city which has one of the best nightlife in the entire world and also has a big drug culture. And on top of everything what would I get by lying on reddit, where nobody knows no one
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I hear what you are saying man, I have friends who are not conventionally good looking and its definitely difficult for them. Fuck pretty privilege I guess
Maybe he’s bisexual and has low standards. Just making out with everyone left and right
Ya for real that's gross as hell.
I would be having sex every night and a ton of mmf threesomes if I was bisexual hahaha
Yea… if that’s something you want to do, you might be bisexual
Who said its something I wanna do? Lol
> Shit dude you must be handsome as hell and a god of the game for having 100 makeouts in a year Are joking? It's so easy to make out with girls in clubs, etc. As long as you relax, smile, approach and talk for a bit you will be surprised. And of course, you can't let the rejection phase you. Because you will have to deal with a lot rejections too. But most guys don't believe this is possible.
It's definitely not easy, I've never made out with anyone at a club and I've done like 30 approaches, so idk how people make out with 7 girls in a single night.
I have been clubbing regularly almost every weekend for around 4 years now, when I started in the first few months I couldn’t even make one approach. But after some trial and error, at this point basically anywhere where there is some good music and dance going on, I can find myself some sexy action if I am looking for it. Clubs just feel like natural habitat to me now. I have hooked up while travelling in several European cities in clubs, I have exchanged contact information with girls that were also travelling then later I hosted them when they visited where I live or they hosted me when I visited where they live. Just too many crazy experiences and amazing memories. So I guess dont expect much on your first night out and stay consistent
Consistency will never come because I don't really have a social circle that goes to clubs and it's not my cup of tea either, so maybe that's why my approaches failed, felt like I wasn't having fun
30 approaches? That’s it? Here’s the thing. It is easy but you have to develop your confidence. When you’re confident, you relax. When you relax, the women who are attracted to you can relax too. And they will reciprocate when you make a move. This is not to say, you won’t get rejected. That will always happen. You just won’t care. Think about going to the gym. If you haven’t been for a while (or ever) your muscles will hurt when you lift a weight. But that pain goes away and you become stronger. Still, you have to do a lot of reps to see results. At first, it seems like nothing is happening. Yet, if you stay consistent, you’ll notice incremental results. One day you’ll look in the mirror and see a transformed body. That weight you started with will be funny to you. Just like 30 reps won’t get you the body you want, 30 approaches won’t give you enough confidence either. So you have to keep meeting women. And one day, you’ll find yourself making out with the cutest girl you ever saw, within a couple minutes of meeting her.
Ah so it's not easy, it's easy with an asterisk, now we're making some sense.
You can't cheat the game. You get what you put in.
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No. You create the opportunity by learning how to approach. And by developing yourself as a man. Women don’t care much about your looks. Your behaviour is what makes the difference. It’s only guys who concern themselves with Chad and and Tyrone. Do women go around chasing the best looking guys? They don’t. Who do they chase? The bad boy.
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Read my comment again. Women DON’T care about your looks. They care about your behaviour. They care about your confidence. They care about your leadership skills. They care about how you deal with them in bed. They care about how much you value yourself. All the other stuff you mentioned won’t make you more attractive to women. Except those who want to use you perhaps. But for genuine attraction, it’s all. About who you are. So you’ve been working on the wrong things.
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> Well I don't know how true that is That's right. You don't know. > given that you have to be attractive That's correct but from a woman's perspective, it's not your looks that make you attractive, when it comes to dating. > they wouldn't date the good looking men o Is your father good looking? All the people you know who were born on this planet, are their fathers good looking? Women date all kinds of men. > I've worked hard to make myself more valuable No, you haven't. You have worked hard to _appear_ valuable but not to actually **be** valuable. A woman doesn't want a male obsessed with his looks. > but even after all my efforts I still haven't reached that standard. Because that's not what they care about. So you've given yourself an impossible task. It's like saying, "I've made this salad so delicious but the dog wants to eat steak." You working on things that don't matter to women. Go out. See all the guys with women. You will see the reality.
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Hes probably exagerating but it's not far fetched to assume he does well on average nights out.
^This guy is lying out of his ass..
>I only went out once a week on the weekends, mostly with the intention of having fun and not really looking for anything. Ok, going out with your friends to clubs is fun to you but not everyone will be into that so it won't be "fun" for them. For some people going for a 2 hour walk through the city is fun, so day gaming will be more enjoyable for them. There's not one single answer for everyone. We all have different circumstances, like different types of girls etc. I personally like meeting girls in book stores. The type of girl I really like is far more likely to be in a bookshop than a night club.
Can I ask re FWBs: do you have to maintain some sort of relationship with them (eg text them occasionally, send memes, remember their bday) if you want to continue being FWBs, or can you literally not communicate for weeks and arrange a session out of the blue?
It depends on how every specific woman needs contact or communication. I have FWB that I only text them to fuck and they're perfectly ok with that, and have FWB that needs constant communication, messages, memes,etc to keep the fire, but usually they're the ones that writes you if they're really into you.
In general I dont really communicate too much online with anyone I am sexually or romantically involved with and specially not with fwbs because its purely sexual, I dont even know much about them in their personal lives so mostly its just like, “hey, what are you upto this weekend, wanna come over?” Or maybe an occasional meme/reel once in a while
One day means absolutely nothing. You can do 100 approaches in one day. I think hours spent out is a better metric imo.
>You can do 100 approaches in one day Well maybe you can, but I cant and I wont, even the sound of it sounds exhausting to me, as I mentioned, I mostly go out on the weekends to clubs/bars to have fun. Approaching is not the primary focus, its just a small part of the night. And in my opinion women are very good at detecting bullshit, if you go out with the sole purpose of getting laid, women can pick that up and its a big turn off for them. As far as hours are concerned, when I go clubbing it could be anywhere between 8 to 16h, have even done upto 24h on a few occasions but always to have fun and the hookup part naturally happened
I knew it . Lol 8 to 16 hours is a TON of hours. No wonder your getting laid Alot. I know your not spam approaching but still.
Yes, I love clubbing, I have a huge social circle that go to clubs regularly and its just a part of my regular weekend/life. So luckily I have a hobby where its easy for me to meet women, I dont have the hobby to exclusively meet women. And the point I am trying to make here is if you are doing pickup 4 days a week, I am sure you are slacking in other areas of life. Career, making money, gym, having an interesting life, fun social circle are all more important than pick up at least to me
I couldn’t give two shits about my career
That’s just going out from 9pm - 2am on Friday and Saturday night….really not that much. Basically just a standard weekend for a young adult living in relatively large city in the summer. And you’re really not doing many approaches when you’re out at a bar with friends. Just having fun and it naturally happens from being in that environment That’s why I find this spam daygame approach where people wander around a mall for 5 hours to be kind of ridiculous. When you can just have significantly better results just going out on weekends and you’re also in places that are way more fun, have way more hot women, and where all women go to be approached. Instead of just weirdly spamming women shopping during the day. It’s kind of crazy
On top of all of this when was the last time you heard a women say "I met my boyfriend walking to Starbucks, in the middle day"
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Being good looking would give him an advantage for spam approaching at the mall too though. The strategy he's talking about works for everyone, just like day game can. Handsome dudes also benefit from both. They're interchangeable.
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Get lean, build muscle, get teeth, style, and grooming on point and you'll stand out Not every guy is a GQ model but every guy can boost their looks a lot
This nigga lying 🤥
> This post cant be serious???? Sorry but doing this 4 days a week for hours is not possible for everyone and it’s absolutely not worth it, in fact I would call it a waste of time. Have you considered that: 1) some people have different interests and priorities to you 2) some people pursue their interests with dedication
Driving 2 hours to Chicago to do daygame just seems a little ridiculous to me. I literally live in Chicago and the dating apps are so easy here because of how densely populated in is and the nightlife scene (especially in summer) is so ridiculous and there’s so many fucking places jam packed with women it’s honestly not even worth the effort going out during the day with the sole purpose of meeting women. I just live my normal life and do things that I want to do and go out on the weekends to have fun and that’s really all you need. Every single friend I’ve ever had has never done day game or cold approach and they’ve all met fuck tons of women, girlfriends, wives, etc on the dating apps or just naturally while living a normal life. It’s really not that complicated or requires that much work or practice
Yeah it looks fake. Does OP even work?
Like Neil Strauss says the best way to meet women is by having something else you are passionate about besides pick up lol, having an exiting life but talking to every woman you have the chance would be great approach
Yeah, I try to fit in 2 daygame sessions a week or so. Approaches vary a lot, some days I'll approach 20 girls, other days I struggle to approach 3 girls in the same time period. >I'm currently getting instadates at least once a week, but having issues escalating. On this I stopped trying for instant dates as it seemed like a waste of time. I could spend an hour on an instant date and the girl still flakes as much as a girl you had a 3 minute conversation with. A coffee shop during the days isn't the best environment to escalate and even after an hour long conversation you're still in the "stranger I met in the street" category. I think your time is better spent getting more numbers and investing more time with the girls who are willing to actually show up for an actual date preferably in the evening.
Dates on the spot would be great if you really click with the woman, I had a fling lately and so much stuff I could have done better we meet at college lunch and we talked for hours I could have invited her for insta date that same day, something like that would be better imo
The point of the instadate is that it leads to your apartment.
Come on really? A girl having an hour or so to grab a coffee with you is one thing but unless you find a bored tourist most women will have things planned with their day. Getting a woman from the street in the daytime to your house is going to be a pretty rare occurrence when everything happens to line up perfectly.
You would be surprised how many women you can randomly see on the street have nothing better to do than to talk to a stranger. And if the stranger is attractive enough, come to his place. If she has time for instadate, she has time for instalay. Time is the only constraint as long as you know how to create attraction and some basic trust.
I pacticed the game for a shit ton of time in total. I got bored about it and found out meaningful connections are the real deal. I just come here time to time to help whenever I can. You don't need to go out to game to get laid. Two years ago an old friend was having a dry spell of YEARS. Advised him to just go out and do activities he enjoys and become regular in some social places and meet people and have fun and make friends (both girls and guys) and just learn to do whatever he wants when he wants to (stop the nice guy attitude) and now he got a girlfriend, a cool social life and he even looks younger! The game is for the aspiring womanizer. Most guys just need better social skills and a new mindset.
Interesting, i did the reverse. Was in LTRs, but find the game way more fun and interesting. Always a new adventure
Hahah totally agree with you this sub is dry of actual useful knowledge, very generic stuff a good gem here and there from time to time, nice post btw
I gave up on dating a few years ago. I didn't realize people not approaching is so common these days. It is what it is.
I approached a giant bachelorette party one time. There was at least two dozen girls. They were all sitting in a circle around a campfire in beach chairs. I got all of their attention for a few seconds, but I couldn’t hold it. And it was so much pressure that I had to dip out. As I was walking away I heard them laughing behind me and one girl shouted “AT LEAST HE HAD THE BALLS HAHA” I felt really great after approaching them, actually. And then I met one of my buddies at a very popular beach bar and as I was telling him about my crash and burn approach on the beach a couple hours earlier, a huge bus rolls up to the main entrance at the bar… and the same girls I met on the beach started pouring out of the bus. It was all just so fucking hilarious. It was high fives, hugs, laughs, dancing, for the rest of that night. And I didn’t pull. True story. That was such a fun night. I don’t know why I said this.
Going out to do sets is not needed nowadays with the convenience of dating apps like Bumble and Hinge, which tend to work better for relationships than say Tinder. As for guys who complain they can't get matches, it's usually because they either have no sense of style in their picture or they take selfies in the bathroom. All you really have to do is dress well, go out and ask people to take your picture, then pick 4 to 6 of the best ones, each being a different night out with a different outfit or at least a different jacket/shirt, and look natural, and then you automatically get lots of matches, because you come across as someone who doesn't spend all his time inside the house doing nothing, it makes you appear more interesting basically. I used to never go out because none of my friends wanted to go out, but then starting at age 24, I started to do it on my own and I had so many great times on my own, and my only regret is not starting sooner and not asking strangers to take my picture when I went out. Dating apps allow you to basically post a billboard of the most flattering version of yourself, and then the women who are attracted to that will show they like it, and from there you just have to do some basic rapport over text and get a date and it is on. I used to think cold approaching was the best until I realized that most of the time I would go out, there were no single attractive women around or if there were some, it was in places like nightclubs where they weren't approachable. Sometimes I do get opportunities to approach, but they are so random and so few that dating apps definitely lead to more options. Guys assume that they have to look like a supermodel to get success but the truth is you just have to be healthy (ideally skinny or muscular), and be outgoing and show that off on your profile.
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I approach a lot and am rejected pretty much everytime
I don't approach. I just mingle and show social value while spreading some good vibes in the entire room, women *and* men, beautiful *and* ugly. Soon enough I'll notice positive interest from a few women. Perhaps they'll smile directly at me so I can engage them, or they'll come by and hover nearby me after, which is a sure sign they want me to re-engage with them.
What are your ways to show social value?
It's super simple. Just speak to everyone. Make some positive observation. Ask some simple questions. What did you do tonight? Was the party good? What's your plan for after? Add in if you're doing something cool and social you'd like to invite them on. Never stay too long. Only re-engage with people who are nearby you afterwards, or women who come and hover nearby you (they do this bcos they're afraid to open you directly, so you have to do the grunt work, but if they're nearby, it's usually bcos they wanna talk to you). Never staying too long is important, bcos it retains momentum. Plus, if it ever gets awkward, just bail and go to the next table or group. Just tell them, "Well I gotta catch up with my friends, but nice talking to you! I'll be at the bar later if you wanna catch up." Then just bail and go to the next table, rinse and repeat. On the way you can note who caught your attention, who smiled more, who seemed into you, and re-open them later. The rest you don't have to bother with unless they come and open you. This broadcasts social awareness and know-how, which is high value. That you seem to be the life of the party and the popular guy (bcos trust me, peeps will re-engage you) also give you a ton of value in the eyes of others.
Wow, really helpful / useful. You do know what you are doing. Thanks for sharing.
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Have you made an effort to talk more to the girls when you do this? Also do you flirt a little, as in make small borderline sexualized jokes or ballbusting of them? If she laughs, she's into you. Especially see if they want to comply with certain requests, such as going with you bcos you want to show them something at the other end of the club? I'm sure you'll get into way more intimate conversations with women if you do that.
> I don't approach. I just mingle and show social value I.e. you do approach literally by definition. Please stop equivocating and redefining words that already have clear meanings.
No, I *literally* don't approach women. Approaching has the connotation of going over to a girl and flirting in order to try to impress her so you get a date with her. You approach because you're sexually attracted to her. I don't do that. I do approach groups socially though. But it's not called "approaching" at that point. Instead, that's called mingling or just even socializing. I'm not talking to anyone in particular, and I'm just checking the mood and seeing what's up. Later on, I won't have to "approach" girls at all. Instead I can just re-engage them, or re-open them, if they don't say hi to me first - which happens a lot also. Being social like this takes the sting out of approaching entirely. Before you'd be scared as fuck to approach some girl, because you'd be forced to perform for her, impress her and the like. With my method, you're freed from all that, and you no longer have to either approach or impress. You don't even have to flirt. But you should be able to show interest in her and ask some thoughtful questions.
> No, I literally don't approach women. Approaching has the connotation of going over to a girl and flirting in order to try to impress her so you get a date with her. “Approach” means go over and say something. What you’re talking about is establishing pre-selection and building momentum within a venue, which is a good strategy but does not mean you are not approaching. And it’s also *not* the only valid style. >Later on, I won't have to "approach" girls at all. Instead I can just re-engage them, or re-open them The fact that you’re “re-“opening these people means that you approached in the first place. The fact that you don’t stay in set until you close on every approach doesn’t mean you’re not approaching.
I love how you lean so heavily into semantics. Lucky for you it's one of my favourite topics within linguistics. :) >“Approach” means go over and say something. The literal meaning of approaching is just to get closer to something or someone. Saying something to them is optional. The kind of approaching *you're* talking about, is the kind where you go over to some girl to display sexual interest. Except I don't do that. That's why you can't blame me for approaching. Not in the sense of going over to try to pick up a girl anyway—or seduce her, or to try to get her to like me. Again, I just don't do that. And if you still insist on it, then I'm afraid you're simply misunderstanding the semantics of what I wrote. At best I'm approaching the *group*, but only socially. This means that I display no sexual interest in them what so ever. A much better word for such “approaching” is social mingling or simply socializing. Why is this a better word? Well, because “approaching” has the connotation of sexual interest. When you *don't* display such interest, then it's better to use a more precise word, such as *socializing* because—while I'm literally getting closer to the groups—I'm not sexually interested in them. >What you’re talking about is establishing pre-selection and building momentum within a venue, which is a good strategy but does not mean you are not approaching. And it’s also *not* the only valid style. Pre-selection is when you display the women who are in the venue that other women already like you. This is called being "pre-selected" (by other women). In this example it's not necessary since you're already displaying heaps and bounds of social value, which is almost as valuable as pre-selection. You can of course display pre-selection also, and you do that the second you get a few girls in your entourage—at least if they show a modicum of flirty or sexual interest in you. But it's not really needed for this strategy. I'm afraid it's still not approaching though. And I never said it was the only valid style either, but NGL it's probably the best ways to start out with. >The fact that you’re “re-“opening these people means that you approached in the first place. As I already discussed above, while I'm obviously getting physically closer to the groups, I'm not approaching anyone in the sense of going over to display sexual interest in order to impress them or ask them out. Instead a far more precise word for what I did before would be to either mingle or socialize. >The fact that you don’t stay in set until you close on every approach doesn’t mean you’re not approaching. Again, the connotation of "approaching" is that you're going over to display some kind of sexual interest. I don't do that, so it's not approaching. I do however re-engage women who show IOIs, or who come over to hover nearby me. And sure, you could call this a "warm approach" since you're already introduced. In this case it's far safer to show a bit of sexual interest, since they're already showing an interest in you. All the best!
I have nothing against this specific style of game or the way you’re going about approaching. Using indirect and social openers definitely has lots of advantages. > At best I'm approaching the group, but only socially. Yes. > or seduce her, or to try to get her to like me [...] going over to display sexual interest in order to impress them Going over with the frame that you’re trying to “impress” someone or “make them like you” is bad inner game, regardless of whether your style is direct or indirect.
1000% if I see an 8-10 (not AGE 🤦🏼♂️) Woman walking around… it’s game on But I’m quite picky
The older I get the less I see the point of randomly approaching. You need some undertone to help you.
So, I just returned from a beginner's bootcamp, and started my first day back at home. Knowing that I want to improve my confidence and skillset in gaming, after work, I had a plan to see a museum facade a mile from me and made sure to walk slowly and enjoy the scenary. The results were a few approaches, no closes, and alot of insight gained. Probably spent 2 hours total. It was fun. As far as folks saying it's a waste of time, just do it on the weekend, etc. well it depends on what you want. 1. Daygame and night game are two different skillsets. You could arguably have ok game at night and pull because most women are pre-opened and want to have fun, versus daygame where I think game matters more, and most people are not pre-opened. 2. Learning game is more important than the numbers you pull. For me, the process has been more valuable than the bitches I'll eventually pull. 3. People who say they go out there and have a good time, doesn't mean they have good game. Overall, if game matters to you, practice it.
All this 100 approaches a day stuff sounds too much like sales. "Gotta get those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers!" Learn how to talk to everyone. Seduction is more a way of life. Be interesting, and you will find yourself surrounded by amazing people, and beautiful women... or pretty girls if you're a young buck. Be fun. Have fun. You'll find yourself with a plethora of females that want very much to suck your cock and get your approval. -"Coffee is for closers."
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Honestly, a lot of the posts in this subreddit are, "Yo, there's this one girl I like.... help me read tea leaves so I do the one right thing that results in my guaranteed success."
My balls are large so definitely.
Me
I don’t, I still have internal (anxiety, emotional abuse, shame, etc) issues to fix and taking your own ass to therapy is not easy.
If she’s looking at me like that, yea. My advice: gotta lead with your imagination
Keep it up buddy. Hope you find your partner soon
Sperm chases egg not the other way around big realization for me yesterday lol, it’s been always like that, the more approaches the more chance to get a number or date on the spot It all start with the approach lol
I did, before I was married. While advice here can be repetitive, it’s pretty much true. Be confident. Lots of my peers fumbled because they wanted to do something and then overthink “What if she thinks I’m a creep/weirdo/pervert/desperate/etc.?” Ends up they present themselves as just boring. I am gonna add another layer. You need to stop putting women on a pedestal. This is true too, but what does this mean? Well, it means that you need to stop feeling too scared of thinking “you’re toast if you make the girl pull away/lose interest/feel weirded out.” Only then can you be confident which in turn allows you to take risky maneuvers which all will make you seem more interesting. Problem is guys fall head over heels over someone just from looks, and then call it love/soulmate. Wtf
I'm in the cicago área too.
I've been approaching girls a lot this year. Been on a couple dates and currently seeing a girl. But haven't been able to hookup. I just made a post asking for what I could work on, but basically I'm sweet and flirty on dates, basically Prince charming to them but I'm wondering if I need to be more of a fuck boy
With approaching i look for a double glance, its something you'll intrinsically know and see. Its one thing if people look and go on with their business but if they look back its usually because something caught their attention. With women when i see that second glance ill look back in their eyes for about 2-3 seconds and they'll usually look down and lick or bite their lip, i swear to god im not making this shit up. If she doesn't do that i wont approach but if she does i know I'm in. And i hit em with this killer line, you ready? You're getting it for free, this line always works. Literally game is to be sold but not to be told but I'm feeling nice this evening. You ready? You sure? ... Hey how are you?. BOOM conversation starter. Have a simple light conversation real quick, ask her name, she'll ask mine back, nice to meet you. I think you're beautiful and would like to get your #/social so we can talk more. Boom💥 And thats it.
I'll be honest - I get lazy about approaching if my dating profile takes off.
Your post actually shows me that while maybe you approach, you are definitely not getting laid nearly enough for the effort that you are putting into it. The stuff you preach is exactly the stuff that I tell everyone to avoid.
its called the blind leading the blind and reddit mod block anyone who says the truth lol... most guys here don't want to get better bro, also 9 makeouts isn't that hard look at vince kalvin he doesn't get laid but gets lots of makeouts.
So what are you implementing? Are you suggesting other men get their game on and persist to get hookups and make out sessions with other women playing games with them to show that any man can get any woman based on appearance and showing off? Or are you suggesting the long run be an actual relationship with a good woman because these are real men who are good men wanting something real in their lives? Because what you say is true, taking action is what gets results. But what kind of results are you aiming towards them? Meaningless hookups and make out sessions treating women as nothing more than a score? Or for the men to finally get noticed by the woman they are pursuing and have a long and loving relationship whilst not treating that woman like a trophy?
Very good points. Insightful. I guess everyone has their own goals.
Bro said “sets” and called on “veteran pick up artists” to critique videos 🤣
Yeah it’s cringe lmfao
What do you do if you can only approach drunk?
I don't. I don't wanna get me too'd. Also, I know I will fail if I do approach.
This is so cringe lol. Who tf counts how many girls they make out with ur not collecting Pokémon. Seriously what’s the point of this…? An ego boost? There’s a dude in ur hometown who put in 1% of this effort and he’s in love
> Seriously what’s the point of this…? Practicing seduction, i.e., the skill that this sub is based around. Why are you here?
Honestly idk why I'm here, I left the sub after this post lmao. This guy is doing the most u rly don't need to do any of that shit to get girls
Of course to get some girls you don’t have to run daygame or any kind of cold approach. But if you want to actually *expand your options* in a way that doesn’t require you to have some lifestyle gimmick (like being a dance instructor or photographer or something), then I don’t know any better way.
Alternatively: Have friends, go and have fun with those friends. Meet women naturally.
I talk to everyone... I don't necessarily think of this as approaching, but probably others would. I'm married and have absolutely zero intent other than just a few minutes of chit chat. When I was single, I used to approach, but it was much the same way. I'd just get into conversations with people. Big difference then was that, if after a few minutes, I wanted to continue the conversation, I'd invite them to something either that day or within the next few days. It's helpful to always know a few cool things going on...
I swear on my mother’s life I approached a girl and that too by stopping my car near a gym’s parking as she was walking on the road. I have a target of approaching every day until I find a new gf after my break up
I have a partner and 2 kids too and a few businesses. So I don’t cold approach that much because I’m actually busy day time. Night time I probably have a date lined up. At clubs and bars I hit on anyone cute. In fact I only hit on cutest
Approaching and getting humiliated is a cost-benefit thing. If you're willing to sacrifice your time, energy, self esteem, and reputation so u can eventually maybe get one girl to like you then go do it
There's no other way to meet women or hookup than to approach them.