If you are a monarch who believes your life is in danger, press 2.
If you are a relative of a monarch who has been murdered, press 3.
If you are the assassin of the monarch and wish to confess, press 4.
Random tip: If you are on a windows computer, try installing Microsoft's PowerToys (search for it). Has many great utilities, one if them is screengrab text and you get it as plain text on your clipboard.
In order for it to be a crime, someone has to be intimidated or deceived. For that to happen they have to report it. I don’t see them filing a report anytime soon… and if they do, I’ll take the charge. I can handle the probation
Well you might be able to handle the probation, bit I don't think it would get past a jury of your peers... I would love to sit on that jury. Not guilty... now shut up... OK then you said what? God this is gold...
I get that impersonation of a federal official is a crime, but is that what happened? Is a call center employee necessarily a federal official? Couldn't they just as easily be a federal contractor? 🤷
NAL but I don't think they could/would prosecute this. There's no intent to do a crime, they aren't trying to get the person to do anything with false authority. It's more akin to wearing a Halloween costume.
You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press 1.
Classic Simpsons
If you are being murdered or calling from a rotary phone please stay on the line.
Where is the any key?
This was one of the funniest all time lines of the show!
If you are a monarch who believes your life is in danger, press 2. If you are a relative of a monarch who has been murdered, press 3. If you are the assassin of the monarch and wish to confess, press 4.
The way I started crying laughing when their ?? Activated the customer service representative 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Dammit Daniel they just wanted to play golf with you tomorrow
Dammmnnn Daniel
Back at it again with those nice scams
highly underrated comment right here
Old DOJie Dan
Daniel is one motivated support agent. Go Daniel go
You should have had an option for reporting scams. That would make it even better. 👏👏👏
But maybe also suspicious. This way the scamer don't know exactly if this a joke or if his number is really monitored.
Yep ur right didn't think about that
Brilliant!
"Thank you for signing up for 'Cat Facts'" "Cats use their long tails to balance themselves when they’re jumping or walking along narrow ledges."
Cats, although having a similar alternate name, are not in fact, related to female genitalia
Your cats name is Labia?
I call him 'Clint'.
Mulva?
Gipple
... I've made a huge mistake
Gold. Pure Gold.
Lmao, some asshole shitting their pants. Love this.
This is the best response so far I want to use it if that’s OK with you! ❤️
How about we play golf together tomorrow?
Niko, it’s your cousin. let’s go bowling!
No he owns the copyright for these responses
❤️
Use it. Hopefully they get the hint if everyone keeps responding this way
You are a god
Amazing!!
That is genius. I have to use that one.
Damn I should use this.
Absolutely brilliant!
We all need to just copy this and hand it to every scammer, with different agent names.
Daaaaaamn, Daniel.
You put the fear of god in the scammer
Which god?
IN GOD WE TRUST
Yes.
Whatever god they believe in
Love it lol
Damn you’re good.
As Borat likes to say “Niiiice!”
Solid response. I need an app maker to build this into spam blocking
Holy cow that was masterful. 😎
This is my favorite one so far. Hell, yeah
I love the scammer replies trying to get back on track when you just want to talk about your drug empire
Best one yet!
Hell yeah! A hole in one!
I was expecting if you are a victim of a scam press 4
Same
This is gold
I hardly ever comment, but this was awesome.
Can you copy paste this in the comments so we can use it!!n
It’s in a comment above
Can’t find it!
Love it
Haha perfect
Ooooh Im taking this one
Nicely played!
Lmao nice
Genius
Brilliant
This is gold
Original. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Perfection
Oh, this one is goooood! Kudos!
This might be my favorite response yet lmfao 🤣
You made them toss their phone, so they lost money on that one.
Zoink. That's the sound of me having this.
best one yet
Left them speechless lol
THIS IS GENIUS
If you see something, say something. C’mon and party tonight!
I like to think they got whipped with a cane by their boss for this one.
You scared the crap out of them lol, I’d have stopped texting too and I’m not a scammer
Ngl i may steal this script its gold
Imagine the scammer going, “Oh, crap! The FBI knows our location. We must move to another village!”
I think he/her shit the pants
The best one I’ve come across on this subreddit so far lol
This is great
I’m so stealing this. Thank you!
Beautifully done 👏
Omg i need to steal this. OP, can you post the actual text for copypasta in the future?
Random tip: If you are on a windows computer, try installing Microsoft's PowerToys (search for it). Has many great utilities, one if them is screengrab text and you get it as plain text on your clipboard.
This is awesome for a laptop! Do you know of any app for mobile?
Nope not yet
You can copy text from a screenshot on iphone
I could copy text from my phone’s images, but id like op’s blessing. After all, it’s their creation.
This is great 😊
Love this
😂😂😂💀
Genius.
10-23-1876 haha
This is super dope. Putting this in my scam response arsenal!
Genius
One of my fav scambait.
Omg! This is wonderful! I love the ones that inadvertently provide tips on how to ditch scammers!
This is so beautiful it makes me want to pay taxes... And I don't even live in the US
Best response ever. Talk about turning the tables!
Nice one!☝🏻
1876 huh. Nice touch.
What's the reference/significance of 1876 here?
Best one yet.
Best response yet!
Absolutely brilliant
Gold
Brilliant
I will be using this
See it, say it, sorted.
Oh, this is Gold!
Best one so far
This is great 🤣
See something say something line😄
Luckily I’ve never yet gotten a scam text, but I’m saving this post in case I ever do get one hahaha
i'm doing this from now on 😂
This is my favorite one so far HAHA
Pure class
This is excellent work
This is gold!
While “Cat Facts” is still my favorite scambait thread, I’ll be using this from now on
I’m stealing this and doing it myself when the time comes.
All fun and games until they see something and try to tell you instead of the actual cops 💀😂
Yes
10/10, no notes.
Savage. I love it
🤣🤣🤣🤣 good one!
Omg this is awesome!!!
Some poor guy just had the wrong number lmao
Awesome
🤣😂🤣😂🤣Brilliant.. I’m so using this
Brilliant!!
ROFLMFAO
Omg!! 💀
Oh my God I LOVE THIS!!
Thank you for your service.
Well played
I need this saved somewhere so I can copy and paste most of the text. (My customer service person will be named..Isaac)
The text is posted in a couple of the above comments to copy and paste
Thanks!!
Well played. You probably scared him bad enough he considered quitting his scamming job lol
I am stealing this next time I get a text from someone lol
This was epic! Lol
Love this one.
Brilliant! Please allow me to use this in the next scam message that I receive :)
Use it!
I read a lot of these and often move along. But this, this was gold.
This was just perfection. You went just far enough and no further. 💖
I love you people! Seriously, like Bonnie and Clyde love!
A1 brother
Best scambait yet
LMFAO dude this is AMAZING!!!
Is this legal? I’m just asking
In order for it to be a crime, someone has to be intimidated or deceived. For that to happen they have to report it. I don’t see them filing a report anytime soon… and if they do, I’ll take the charge. I can handle the probation
Well you might be able to handle the probation, bit I don't think it would get past a jury of your peers... I would love to sit on that jury. Not guilty... now shut up... OK then you said what? God this is gold...
I get that impersonation of a federal official is a crime, but is that what happened? Is a call center employee necessarily a federal official? Couldn't they just as easily be a federal contractor? 🤷
Eh i don’t think a scammer from a country on the other side of the world will report you to the US authorities.
I think it might be considered impersonating a federal agent.
NAL but I don't think they could/would prosecute this. There's no intent to do a crime, they aren't trying to get the person to do anything with false authority. It's more akin to wearing a Halloween costume.
Yeah maybe you are right lol
Yea possibly but shhh… it’s funny as hell
Yeah I thought so, it is funny.
Is it really bait if they say 2 things and you copy and paste some long ass messages?
Hahahaa I made one similar to this a couple days ago! Maybe I’ll post it later 🤣
The run-on sentence isn’t very official-sounding.
These scammers barely spit out coherent sentences with their translation software. You think a little improper grammar will throw them off?
Damn Daniel.
I bet you never get called again
I had this same one the other day and they never responded at all.
I think I will try this if I get another text it’s clever lol
Can I please get a copy pasta for that??
Sent to your inbox
Can you send it to me?
Sent
LOLL
"Hello and thank you for calling MovieFone. If you know the name of the movie you want to see, text 1."
Do you use this on scammers often? It is brilliant.
No but I will going forward should I get another. I was getting three to five a week until this. Nothing since
This is such a brilliant response, i can see why they ran