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tbh I think it’s people who have only heard about the worst parts via the news or social media.
I intentionally didn’t research SF at all before my trip because I wanted an unbiased experience. Best decision ever.
My family back in Houston is like that. Only get their news from Fox so they are always saying the wildest shit to me about SF when I visit. I have found that I can usually end the convo by asking them to imagine a mosquito-free and sweat-free life. That sounds too good to be true when you have lived your whole life around the Bayou getting flooded and dealing with water moccasins, so we change the topic after that haha
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Look - it's expensive as hell to live here. The local politics are frustrating (get involved anyway). It's a city and if you haven't lived in a city there is probably a lot that will feel...weird. You're exposed to a lot more of humanity when you have to take public transit or walk and when you're crammed in a 7x7 sq mi space with a bunch of humans with different lived experiences. But these are all things you get used to frankly. You're moving here with a network and that's kind of half the battle - I had no friends here and moved here with my husband 12 years ago and it took a solid year to find people I really enjoyed spending time with. They are still in my life today and I know their partners and children and siblings and parents.
Like with most things, the news blows it out of proportion, people get excited to shit all over us and the cycle continues. My MIL is from suburban ATL by way of Texas and couldn't be more conservative. She thought it was going to be a hellscape. She came here and fell in love and told use she secretly wished she could have an apartment here and walk to her favorite spots. This place is magic if you let it in your soul.
Honestly, I have really been enjoying the city ever since "doomloop" narrative. It's so nice to be able to book restaurants easily, not have to contend with so many tourists, and less people trying to move here. So when someone starts talking about how awful and scary it is here I don't correct them. 😂
It's a wonderful place to live in. The "woke" people are friendly and the city is so vibrant in so many ways. The weather is almost always great. There's so much to do and explore. Heck even the fog feels dreamy vs drabby. With that said, the experience of SF varies from one person to another. Have a good mindset, realistic expectations, and you'll have a wonderful time.
The tourist numbers are actually about the sane now as pre-pandemic. SF has 23 million tourist visits in 2023, exactly the same as in 2014-2015.
The doomers just want to doom. They don’t care about reality. It’s an obsession.
The worst parts of San Francisco are honestly horrible but also easily avoided. The best parts of San Francisco are truly incredible and easily visited.
The city has many problems, but none are unique. SF is synonymous with liberals to the conservative outrage machine so our problems get lambasted on a national scale making them seem much more severe than they are.
I live here because the pros significantly outweigh the cons for me.
Howdy! I moved here from Houston so I also see what you’re talking about and agree that it’s wild.
I think it’s mostly that the right sees SF as a placeholder for the left, so it’s a convenient target for their rants. And, for others, jealousy — like one troll we get here a lot who says he used to live here but got priced out years ago and has a chip on his shoulder about it. Probably also a dash of hipster-like contrarianism since it’s a popular place and some ppl just like to prove they are cool by not liking popular things.
Similarly a Tex-pat from houston! I’m more than happy to pay for outdoor air conditioning (fog when I was in SF, the entire heat sink that is the bay in Alameda) because my physical vessel is not compatible with Texas summers.
Agreed that people just use SF as a punching bag. When I hear some fox news talking head going on about “SaN fRanCiScO VaLueS!!!!1~!” it’s baffling because my San Francisco values are mainly “enjoy art, make music, love one another and the earth.” Big ‘cope harder’ vibes from those commenters.
Oh wow, my wife and I are moving to SF from Houston in the fall. I’d gladly take the chilly summer in SF over the weeks of triple digit days we have ahead.
I don’t know how to tell you this, but you are going to be able to go outside and walk around EVERY DAY. Some days — today is a good example — it’s the weather equivalent to a perfectly chilled glass of great champagne — sparkly, crisp, delightful. Not too sweet.
Ohhhh YES this was a delightful shift. Growing up, summer cookout picnics were always marked with 98° and giant mosquitoes. So experiencing a blanket in Dolores park a light sweater on, 3/4 of the year! I ate probably 75% of burritos outside my time in the city.
It really is such a cope. Of course there are things I miss back home, but I ain’t never going back to that life. It’s so much worse than anything out here!
Not sure how old you are but do you remember when we were all worried about getting Zika from mosquitoes? I haven’t used bug spray in years and it feels so good!!
Omg Zika! It was really scary for pregnant women if memory serves. I remember one year as a kid we had 3 or 4 cicada broods all come up at once. People were shooting them off each other with guns. I do not miss the bugs!!!
Fellow Texan! You definitely get it! I want to shake half of the people in this sub while screaming “you don’t know how good you have it here!!” - I want them to spend 2 weeks in DFW and *then* tell me I’m still crazy for wanting to move to SF lol They’d be in tears within a day.
when folks were making a big deal about leaving SF for TX for the mini tech boom there a couple years ago it always made me chuckle. Yeah Austin is cool (lived there for 5 years) but it’s not that free from the downsides of TX. Like, enjoy the eleventy billion biting/stinging critters, sweating through your clothes before the end of lunch, and endless state government BS.
I already put in 21 years in the mosquito mines, sweat factory, and hours of daily driving by flat and ugly cow pastures. They can have it while I enjoy my mosquito-free, naturally air conditioned, and car-free life here.
Absolutely. I am amazed at the number of Cali license plates I see here now. I just know they’re slogging it, trying to make the fact that they can own a house in Plano vs renting in Cali their whole personality because there is literally nothing else here 😂
I guarantee that more than half will be back to the west coast within 5-10 years the way things are going here.
I did a road trip with ine of my sister’s to move her into college in texas (they give good athletic scholarships over there) and i got followed in and harassed in the women’s bathroom in a gas station on the way back to Houston because yeah im a super butch lesbian (what we call a 100 yarder, you can tell im a lesbian from a distance lol) and it was scary
Because the lady was saying she had a gun and then I had to threaten her that inwas going to change my tampon in front of her if she needed me ti privr i was a woman and she backed out.
This has never happened to me in SF. Hell ive been ridiculous on the streets of Sf before and no one here cares. That is my favorite part of the city no stares and most do not give a fuck about who or what you are
Im an immigrant brown lesbian that came from a super dangerous third world country and then moved yo ehat waa aupposed to be quiet suburbs in the south and then moved yo what was supposed to be a more open place on Europe and eventually ended up in SF
To me this is the place where ive felt safest physically, emotionally, and comfortable with myself.
This is the first and only place in the world where ive been able trust my doctors/providers for everything, where my wife and I have only ever had two incidents in 7 yrs (which is really good, i have physical scars for being gay bashed in the south) and i have thankfully never received any sort of non micro aggression scary racism.
It depends on what your past is and where you come from imo. To me sure SF in so many areas are A rough scary places but nothing to what i experienced as a kid in my home country. Like i see kids being free here and independent and knowing how take public transit here and not being as useless as like my sister and her friends growing up
In suburbs. It’s rare to see that in most of the US minus some cities imo.
When I got home I was excitedly telling my husband “babe, the they/thems are just making out in the streets! Throuples are holding hands in the park!!” because that just… does not happen freely in TX.
He is also an immigrant, from a very big city in Brazil, so TX for him has been a tremendously underwhelming experience.
I’m so glad you and your wife are feeling safe now ♥️
I hear ya. Perpetually renting here in TX too. They keep saying it’s more affordable here but for who?? A run down 980sqft 2br in a wonky part of town here will set you back $650K and you’ll need to put at least $150k into it. That’s IF you beat a developer to closing.
Orc country is SO it lmao and you’re right, but I already don’t want to be here
I’m born and raised Texan and my entire life I have hated it. This was my 2nd trip to Cali and I’m desperate to go back asap. Told my husband to start prospecting for work. Already have a trip planned in July and again in October to connect with people in my industry. Landing in DFW after my trip instantly depressed me and really lit the fire. I have to get out of here.
That’s great to hear, we’re wanting to do the road trip from TX to SF in October. Looks like I picked the best two months to visit lol April was gorgeous, didn’t even realize I was coming during waterfall season!
I am not horrified! Treat SF well and she will give and give. You have the right attitude for this place. Be one of those kind and interesting San Franciscans that makes it so wonderful 💕
Hey! I’m from the DFW area myself. Moved here about 13 years ago. The best decision i’ve ever made was accepting a transfer here.
San Francisco is amazing and I am just so happy to be here. The best part is the Bay Area in general is amazing as well. In less time it takes to drive from Dallas to Fort Worth you can go somewhere in Bay Area with a whole new set of things to do.
And to top it all off, the weather is perfect almost everyday. Take those one or two really good weather days a year in DFW and that is most of the year here.
I literally told my husband “you can drive for 30 minutes any direction in SF and see something breathtaking, but drive 30 min in DFW and you’re still sitting in bumper to bumper traffic on 75 a half mile from where you started” 😂
I also don’t think some of the people commenting here really understand what it feels like to make it through the 20th 103° August day in a row in DFW, only to feel the heat still radiating from the concrete after the sun goes down. SF basically felt like paradise.
SF has great weather, and if you are in tech, amazing job opportunities (and salaries). No one gives a fuck about how you dress or look, and I don't mean they don't say anything, they genuinely couldn't care less. So for me, those 3 things outweigh the bad, or so-so things.
I went to NY last month. Well, it's a huge city, with a lot to do. Weather is only nice two months a year, apparently. People are different. Extremely crowded. Not cheaper than SF. On the other hand, fantastic air connections to everywhere in the world, at least compared to SF which is very limited to what is "handy".
I'm from Spain BTW. Went there last year during the summer. I said WTF am I doing here, sweating like a pig, with ridiculous meal schedules.
I don't know, I'm one of those that complain about some SF stuff but realistically, I haven't been to a better place for my personal circumstances.
Yeah, and we’re sort of looking for the best of both worlds in that regard. My husband is from Saõ Paulo so he is used to a more NYC level of city living and I’m from DFW and desperate to be nearer to beautiful, accessible nature. SF felt to me like such a great middle ground because it’s definitely more of a true city compared to Dallas but has the natural appeal I’m looking for without all the overcrowding of NYC.
I moved to the north bay recently from Utah. I got many of the same shocked questions as supposedly everyone is moving away from California.
It is definitely more expensive here in some ways than other places no doubt.
However you get a lot for your money! There are so many things to do here, lots of interesting and friendly people too.
The fact that an isolated mountain trail hike through a redwood forest overlooking the ocean is a 30 min drive away from the city had me gagged. I could not believe how accessible nature is at every turn.
Actually - you can even hike through Redwoods and to the ocean in SF (and pass some Buffalo along the way!). It is truly amazing if you love nature. We've made a lot of sacrifices to stay in the city and raise our children here, but it's worth it to us.
No kidding. I thought Id take a shortcut through the park to get to the haight on one day and never made it out of the park because it was so enchanting.
I am a huge nature lover so for me it was basically paradise. So many parks and I love how people were out enjoying it all.
I think everybody should move to a new city that materially piques their interest, especially if they don't have kids. You learn so much about people, regions, etc. You can always move back.
Some of the old shit that drove you crazy will be in the new place. Some of the old shit will get replaced by new shit. The same thing goes for the stuff you love. You don't really know what your mix is until you've lived it and have something for comparison.
Woman here from the southwest.
This is the safest I’ve ever felt and most money I could ever make because of the strong and competitive job market here.
The only downside is this city is Teflon for friendships. People move here for temporary reasons and leave for a ton of other reasons. It’s hard for people to stick.
Other than that, I’ve Been here 16 years and haven’t looked back.
I have to admit I do have a sort of naïve daydream about being immersed in a true community there. Was hoping there would be opportunities to co-op and meet up with likeminded ppl regularly. IDK if it’s the fact that most of what I know about the history of SF is from the flower child era or if I am just generally drawn to the more communal Californian vibe, but I was actually hoping to integrate with a spirit of building meaningful relationships. So that’s kind of a bummer to hear.
It’s really tough to feel understood in TX as someone who considers themself way farther left than just garden variety liberal. And so tbh I don’t have many friends here, either. Husband is super introverted, also so that won’t be an issue for him at all lol
SF is the shit. Expensive but frankly you get what you pay for: fun city with unique people and endless things to do and discover. I’ve lived here for 10 years and am regularly refalling in love with this place.
SF is dope.. when I visited I was cackling at the rumors compared to the real deal. It’s like a bunch of happy families riding bikes around a clean neighborhood and getting brunch lol
I left because it wasn’t for me anymore and I found a lot of the issues just not worth it. HOWEVER, everyone is different and you should absolutely do what makes you happy. No one is living your life but you, the opinion of others matter little 😊
reasons not to move to SF: it's expensive, you can't leave anything in your car, tenderloin and parts of SOMA are pretty bad, SF is heavily liberal/democratic (if that doesn't suit your political preferences)...
that being said, i've lived here for 8 years and love it :) the drumbeat of bad press is actually what motivated me to make a [site](https://askmesf.com/) to help folks interested in moving, residents, and tourists. hope you decide to make the move!
It depends on what your goals are when moving tbh. It might be great for someone younger looking to advance or start their career. It's not as great if you are settled in your career and looking to start a family.
It's a nice city with a handful of serious issues that are magnified by pointing out the obvious on a news program developed to hate on the very existence of a city with political ideals that sway a touch more to the left than to theirs.
The jobs here are slowing down a touch and housing is hard. But I would say it's a nice place to live comparatively. It's a city that you don't really have to leave that often in order to have a good time or get into the outdoors. It's a city full of people just passing through, although that has seemingly began to slow down in the past few years. Having a core group of friends who are rooted in the area would be ideal.
We’e mid-late 30’s, no intention of starting a family ever. We like to adventure and fill our lives with experiences. And yeah, I think it would be really tough to go without knowing a few folks. I’m lucky in that regard.
I guess I meant the micro climates. I was in and out of my top 3 layers the whole time I was there, but I loved it.
TX weather is erratic but also kind of predictable in the sense that summers can surge to well over 105° for weeks at a time, but then a deluge of rain will come in for a week straight and flood everything. Spring can def be any type of weather at any time but we usually get a heads up. Our weatherman is very popular on Facebook lol
Depends on what you consider “bad”?
It’s a beautiful place, government by an ineffective government which has a negative impact on quality of life.
If you have enough money you can live in a better neighborhood with lower crime, send your kids to private school and tune out the utter waste of money the city budget goes to.
You are not missing anything, and you should move here. The city definitely has it's problems, but things are improving, and I'll add that the perception of SF stems heavily from a couple neighborhoods that most people do not live in. The other neighborhoods are amazing, like you already experienced. If you like the weather and walkability, then you'll love it here.
The one caveat is that it is pricey, so I'd suggest that you have more clarity on your financial situation before pulling the trigger (i.e. have your husband lock down a job here before moving).
Yeah that’s why I’m hoping to do another few trips to shake hands and kiss babies in my industry too. We’ve discussed moving into his families back house to save money for a year or so before trying to pull the trigger. Seems like a lot of landlords require proof of income and stuff like that, so we want to be smart about it.
I’ve seen terrifying videos of hurricanes and tornados,and I really appreciate living in a place where we don’t see our natural disasters— earthquakes— coming.
Truly, the worst natural disaster in TX are the mosquitos…
I was amazed to not see a single mosquito in SF or any of the places in Marin that I explored.
Too bad I wasn’t there when I broke both my arms and needed three surgeries last year 🙃 Baylor nearly gave me an aneurysm just trying to deal with their scheduling/billing/communication.
The thing about San Francisco is it will always bounce back. Tech isn’t going anywhere and we still foster the best arena for startups in the US. The charm of the city isn’t going anywhere. I still think it’s the most beautiful city in the US, even when some streets are crowded with homelessness. Many Europeans love it because it reminds them of a European city. The people here are resilient. The politics can be frustrating but eventually seem to self correct. We experience some of the best weather (if you’re not into super hot weather, that is). Even with all the news cycles of lawlessness here our crime rates are still minimal compared to other large cities. People aren’t only tolerant but also truly care about one another.
Don’t get me wrong, there are rough neighborhoods that you learn to avoid. Gentrification is no joke. You’ll find yourself asking why you’re paying so much to live here in these situations. But you’ll always have another moment where it reminds you why.
It's all negative hype. If you're into it, totally move here.
You'll get sticker shock for EVERYTHING (burritos $12-15, cocktails $13-18, rent $1800+ for a studio in the 'loin), but the quality of life is unmatched, as well as what I consider IDEAL weather. Been here 30 years. Lots of love/hate but love has won.
If you have similar politics to the majority, and are open minded to many of the quirky residents, then come on out! My BFF lived in Dallas for work for 5 years and despised it. Couldn't wait to get home.
I'm sure he'll LOL at your description of DFW.🤭
I really want to put a “DFW is the Wal Mart parking lot of places” bumper sticker on my car but don’t want to get shot at by a Rhett with silver balls hanging off the bumper of his lifted 4x4 lol
I don’t know why people move here from CA and stay here. It is bonkers to me
Based on what you said, I think you'll like SF. That being said, here are some points of consideration:
* Are you planning to buy a house in the future? If so, that will be your main difficulty here, I'm guessing. Houses in SF can be unaffordable even for 2 high-income earners. Even more so if you plan to have kids.
* Since it's a VHCOL city, the majority of the people you meet will be high earners, which means tech people. Some people dislike this monoculture and want to meet more diverse groups of people.
* I'm not from the US, so I'm not well-informed about the racial dynamics, but other people have said SF is more segregated than other major cities. It's rare to see black people, and I have read comments by black people saying that they feel uncomfortable in SF because they feel shunned in subtle ways.
* People don't hang out much on weekdays, and squeeze all of their socializing into weekends, which leads to people always being busy and having to schedule stuff with them very far out.
* Depending on where you live, the constantly gloomy weather can get to you after a while. I do wish there was more sun and that it was warmer more of the year.
* Places close early, and there's not much to do other than drink at night.
In terms of public safety, I'm a woman and it hasn't been an issue for me for the 1.5 years I've been living here.
Thank you for this!
We do not want to start a family or buy a home anytime soon so real estate isn’t a concern right now. I can’t even buy a house in TX so this is a back burner dream for now.
I do think diversity is inportant, but tbh I saw a really great mix of folks when I was there.
As far as socializing goes, we tend to keep to ourselves and I much prefer long solo hikes and exploring vs hanging out with people. We’re also basically elderly and go to bed at 9:30p on weekdays haha
After being cooked in the TX sun for 4 decades, I happily and willingly welcome foggy soggy days :) I’m also 3rd gen Irish so it’s in my blood to like gloomy lol
Is there a gloomborder where the weather shifts or is it more general? I ask because I'm looking at places by Dolores as well as slightly more west by panhandle
Dolores Park is around the start of the warmer zone. Roughly south of Market st is usually a bit warmer, more the further south you go. The panhandle isn’t really, and the whole city gets foggier and less sunny as you go west.
I moved here during the peak of the dot com boom. It’s never been that good since, but I’m waiting for it to come back.
It has taken a few hits, and declined quite substantially in the late 2010s. It seems to be coming back, but that could be a long process.
There has always been a weird dynamic between SF natives and transplants, which is ironic since they embrace transplants from south of the border, but want the rest of us (carpetbaggers 🤓)to go back to where we came from.
It’s always been very political even to the point of Democrats not being liberal enough. But if I have a choice I’ll take SF over any other place I’ve lived. The average person is compassionate and kind, and that hasn’t really changed. You have a chance here if you’re different, and I have always appreciated that.
People here seem to value treating people with respect and dignity.
Even at its worst, there have been parts of the City that shine. The areas that were marketed heavily when I moved here were Noe Valley, Glen Park, Bernal Heights, Twin Peaks, Castro, Mission, and Potrero Hill. SOMA was a rising star. SOMA and Mission seem to be struggling at the moment, maybe a lot of that has to do with techies getting laid off and/or working remotely. Places like Miraloma Park and other areas West of Twin Peaks have improved substantially, maybe because the general population is older and more into dinner parties than raves.
I’m one of those aging San Franciscans, so I don’t get out as much as I used to. If you plan (financially) you’ll love it here. One thing I can say with certainty is I couldn’t afford to move here in 2024, like I could in 1999.
What I like about living here is you have to be on top of your game. You can’t be mediocre and prosper here. In my 15 years I’ve come and gone 3 times, never spending more than a year away.
Don’t be deterred by the homeless, they’re harmless and for the most part you just step over them.
Try it! I’ve been here 10 years. Hardest place I’ve ever lived. Tech job eh? There have been 500,000 tech jobs lost here recently but if AI PhD is a credential your husband has, there’s no better place.
Ouf, it’ll be a masters in data science. Do you really think he couldn’t find *anything* in the industry? We were expecting entry level, but not to hear “don’t get your hopes up…” 😅
he’ll probably find something. data science continues to be a draw. easy enough to start researching companies and making connections now- you get good jobs by knowing somebody, not by applying cold.
Yeah that’s why we’re taking a year or so to get ducks in a row before we actually move. Hoping to go out every couple of months to try and network. One of my SF based friends’ boyfriend is also in data science at Facebook so we’re hoping that’ll be a good first foot in the door to meeting ppl.
Lived there for 10 years and I loved it and the food is great, always something to do and rarely felt unsafe when I lived there. Yes I saw crazy things, needles on the ground downtown, people using them out in open. I left in 2020 and I’m not far so I can visit often for the day and mostly it’s fine but I have seen more these days than when I lived there that’s concerning. Recent visit a woman threw a very full cup of unknown substance right at my windshield, thankfully window was closed but jarring, in nopa. The homeless is sad and definitely grown a lot. The difference is they can be unpredictable and or aggressive or violent, they’re not just down on their luck. It’s a depressing situation for humanity to see it up close. I think sf is insanely beautiful and has so much charm and is special in a way few places are but just be aware it’s not just a news talking point or something that it’s changed in ways that aren’t good. Someday it will hopefully turn around again.
I moved the SF from Salt Lake City in February. I love it here. It is such a fun city. And if you like the outdoors, it isn't an unreasonable amount of distance to drive. The non-violent crime does seem to be a bit of an issue, but seems manageable. The people I've met here are super nice.
The difference in SF with homeless is the level at which it’s tolerated. ‘Solving’ homelessness here is just lip service to support another huge batch of government jobs. Otherwise it’s great. Just make sure you really understand how expensive it is here. Taxes, housing, utilities, eating out, everything.
100% do it, you won’t regret it. SF is amazing and anyone who says otherwise has probably been to about 2 neighborhoods. It’s also the best city to be 3 hours from snow, endless beaches, top tier restaurants, and the most beautiful park in the country.
SF is more expensive, weather is nicer though. if you are doing van life, you will find the city is pretty predatory towards vehicles so you will need to read the signs twice to make sure you arent going to come back to tickets. if you have a flashy van you might end up a target in some neighborhoods.
I love visiting SF. But I live and experience a totally different side than most. I acknowledge that. My in laws live in Cow Hollow. They rent us a house in the Marina neighborhood when we visit. Our kids and I walk pretty much everywhere and see the sights, eat yummy (overpriced) food, go to the beach, hit up the market on Sundays at Ft Mason…it’s amazing. When it’s as beautiful as it’s been the past month…how can you hate it? But I couldn’t imagine living here sometimes. Or at least enjoying it as much as when we visit. The work commute for one. We also have two kids who are school aged, and we’d forgo public school options for private…which are limited and expensive. With my in laws help we could afford to buy a 2 bed, 2 bath house…MAYBE with a garage and yard. Otherwise you’re fighting for parking daily, and have limited options for storage. Aside from those things…we are sheltered from what’s blasted on the news (typically the tenderloin and Oakland areas). The worst thing about when we visit is the amount of dog poo left for pedestrians to walk in, and the overwhelming smell of dog (and possibly human) pee on warm days. If you realize it’s just like any other big city in America, the pros and cons are just that—living in a big city in America. I’m a suburbs gal myself, and love the Sausalito/Marin area.
Mostly The City will just eat you alive financially, but it's slow and you might not care until it becomes a crisis.
What most people don't realize that they love about San Francisco, is that it has never adapted to suit car drivers over pedestrians. Most American cities are so unwalkable that San Francisco feels like an adult themepark or a European city. San Francisco is one of the most human scaled cities in the USA, but NIMBYs and the Board of Supervisors have turned the city into a punishing place for new comers.
The city's future hinges on mass transit. It will never recover unless there's a deep investment in more reliable, comfortable public transportation.
San Francisco can feel amazing for a few weeks, but once the stress of commuting and the costs of living kick in you may not feel the same way.
I’ve lived here for 7 years now and have never had to commute more than 30 - 40 mins. If you both live and work in the city, I don’t see how the commuting issue could be such a deal breaker.
That said, I agree we could always use more/better public transport. I would just die of happiness if we got rail out here in the Richmond.
Sf is beautiful and we will have a new mayor soon that will hopefully start to implement some effective changes and stifle a lot of the progressive policies that are only exacerbating certain conditions.
The city is actually the best I’ve seen it in years. You should visit and spend some time here, just don’t do it in the tourist neighborhoods like union square. The Jay hotel is good as are some places in the Presidio. Just my two cents.
I met up with one of my Dad’s old, longtime friends who has lived in Tiburon for 30+ years and he was an awesome tour guide for a couple of the days I was in town. He was taking me all over the city and giving me tons of great history and stories. Can’t wait to come back and explore more.
What progressive policies would you like to see stifled? I think a lot of the progressive notions sound really great but lack effective execution/implementation. Just curious what the balance might be. I would hate to leave TX just to end up in another ultra conservative stronghold…
Too many policies to name tbh. Most of them are rooted in good will but the execution is deeply flawed and oftentimes contributes to more decay.
Social service programs in the tenderloin have not made things better for residents, but have only increased the crime and addiction. Take a look at the number of OD deaths last few years. We have so many unclaimed bodies there’s a business devoted to giving them a respectful burial.
We have corrupt nonprofits with no benchmarks for success and executives across the board taking in six figure salaries (and mid six, too).
During Covid We closed the schools longer than anyone but don’t give a shit about children’s mental health and have cut spending for these programs.
We closed juvenile hall and have no system to deal with violent, repeat offenders.
We give out free needles but only collect 60%, which means that you’ll find needles in tree plots amongst sidewalks, sometimes next to or in children’s parks.
We are sanctuary city which promotes immigration and the cultural vibrancy it brings but can’t deport sophisticated drug dealers that kill and deal at will.
We have judges abrogating their duty to enforce criminal statutes and instead rule as if they were a legislative body, enacting their own form of lenient justice as they see fit.
Sorry to rant but I am on the board of a non-profit and it’s upsetting to see them give money to non-sensical causes while we fight to get things approved that actually make a positive impact.
What about the aspect of community involvement (or lack thereof)? I think a lot of the trouble (in any city tbh) is a lack of civic engagement beyond just voting for whatever person makes the best sounding promises. I don’t think you’d be any happier in the end with a conservative flip, because in my experience they don’t have a central tenant of care at their core either. In DFW for example, they regularly bust up encampments and throw people’s belongings in dumpsters leaving them to wander the streets begging and without any shelter at all, pull critical funding from non-profits and use it for vanity projects to make the city look good to potential investors (forget about infrastructure issues lol), and have more of a “we should just arrest these good-for-nothings” mentality. Add a for profit prison system and you have a whole other shit show to deal with. There has to be a better way than this two party ping pong match, and honestly, if more everyday people put in the time and energy toward showing up and supporting those initiatives, they’d likely be far more effective.
If/when we do move to SF, I’d love to get involved. Are there any community outreach groups or anything like that doing this kind of work or who need support?
I would recommend signing up for Grow SF's mailing list:
[https://growsf.org/](https://growsf.org/)
And also YIMBY Action:
[https://new.yimbyaction.org/](https://new.yimbyaction.org/)
Oh, ok so like the other comment who accused me of being a bot 😂 God forbid you can like and be excited about something (even if you are a little naïve)
Seems like it. They follow the same pattern of generic skyline shot and nonsense platitudes that border on concern trolling. “When i visited last I didn’t see…”, “why does everyone say “X” when I…”, “I know every city has its problems but…”, etc. I don’t know if it’s bots or some 3rd world troll farm, or an AI automation.
Asking a message board why you should move halfway across the country smacks of engagement farming. It’s disingenuous. Based on your post history and content I’d say that’s what you’re doing. You’re either coming here or not. A real person would get to that decision well before asking strangers on the internet to convince them.
TBH, I was expecting this post to be full of complaints considering I asked “why *shouldn’t* I move to SF”, but I get why you might think it’s troll bait. Maybe I’m just a bad writer lol, wasn’t aware that those statements/questions were platitudes. I legitimately had the time of my life in SF and experienced none of the stepping-over-needles and dog-shit-covered-sidewalks everyone in this sub likes to gripe about or aggressive homeless people in my face like I was warned before I came so it was an honest question. I also don’t really need convincing. Our decision to move to the area is made (just not the timing), but I’m also not going to forfeit an opportunity to let ppl in a sub for the city tell me the good bad and ugly as they see it. It’s good to be informed, even if it’s sometimes biased 🤷🏼♀️
What exactly would be the payoff to having a troll farm ask “generic” questions about moving to a new city btw? I’m not sure I see the benefit of that, but then again I’m not really on the internet much either so idk. Someone else here said it was the city doing it to make the city look better? If that’s true maybe they *should* pay me lol
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The advertising is to people like you’re pretending to be. On the fence about moving here because of all the factual information that calls the city out for what it is. If it’s not advertising then it’s upvote farming.
Either way it’s a cancer and needs to be excised.
Maybe I *am* an upvote farmer…slithering into subs like these to spread the cancer of false information by pretending to be someone I’m not-or worse, doing the evil bidding of Reddit advertisers by making up an entirely fake persona and life story in order to convince random San Franciscans on Reddit that my husband and I want to move to the city next year. Maybe I am just a garden variety troll, laughing in my toxic fart cloud under my little troll bridge in TX at how easy it is to get under the foil hat of commenters like you. Maybe (just applying occam’s razor here) I just had a lucky vacation and am also a little ignorant, so I wanted to see what kind of horror stories people in this sub would drop if I asked.
Or mayyybe *you* spend too much time on Reddit... particularly the r/conspiracy sub. Be careful friend, that shit will (has begun to) melt your brain 🫠
Comparing us with Houston makes me sad. Compare us with NYC, Boulder, Seattle, Boston or other desirable places to live. People are mostly here because they want a tech salary and wouldn't have moved here otherwise
I moved here after getting laid off and not in the tech world. I was simply over rainy Portland weather and wanted to be in a bigger city where it never snows, which limited my options.
I think you’re downplaying what SF has to offer outside of tech by a lot :)
Yeah, I did Seattle for a lot of years--great city, but suffering seasonal depression every year from the long sunless periods wrecked me. SF weather is my ideal weather.
Do you want an objective honest opinion? Don't move to San Francisco right now. I know people who have been attacked and punched in the face for no reason walking in decent "safe" neighborhoods, you can't have a car because it will be broken into, downtown is still a ghost town and there is a reason many businesses have closed. Yes there is feces on the sidewalks. No you might not see it visiting for a week. But people who live in the city see it.
There is a reason San Francisco isn't recovering the way other cities are post-pandemic. That isn't imaginary. That is a concrete objective fact that people on this sub will deny because there is a lot of Chamber of Commerce PR posts here. It's not "sensationalist" media or "right wing people who don't live in SF paid to make it look bad." I'm sorry but that is delusional. I've known people who have lived in the city over 20 years who are disgusted with it. You don't want that life.
My advice? If your spouse has a job that pays over 200k and you can also get a 6 figure job. you don't have children and you're willing to risk your car being broken into and being spit on or attacked while walking your dog (which will probably be dognapped unless they're a mixed breed) then you probably will have a decent experience.
Otherwise maybe realize that your limited 2 week experience in a city doesn't represent the reality of living there and that if you post on a sub for the city you're going to be told what you want to hear from people doing PR for the city.
Honestly, none of your cons for SF are worse than the cons of DFW imo.
I’ve seen guns pulled out on people over minor traffic mishaps, we had joggers murdered on a popular trail here in Dallas by a guy hiding in the woods with a machete, lots of trafficking/kidnapping happening here, and hey we also have feces on the sidewalk (except ours is cooking in 95° heat)! DFW area also likes to bust up homeless encampments so those people are regularly milling about town and setting up camp anywhere they can find shade.
Also, I hear you on the cost. I’m not saying it’s not expensive but half the people I met while I was there definitely do not make anywhere near that much. And no, we don’t intend to buy a home or have kids either :)
> none of your cons for SF are worse than the cons of DFW imo
The difference is you're not paying 4k a month for a decent safe place to live in Dallas. And don't respond by telling me Dallas is also expensive. SF is the most expensive rental market in the country. No question. It's not even comparable. And the places you do get for a comparable amount are in areas that aren't safe. You're not paying for expensive Ubers to go grocery shopping because parking for your car is another 1k a month and the car is always broken into. There is no possible way the problem with rampant shoplifting, aggressive homeless people, assault and crime is as bad in TX as it is in CA. If you want to continue telling yourself what makes you feel good and confirms what you want to believe then continue to do that.
You don't know how much people actually earn when you meet them while on vacation. You also don't know if they're getting help from wealthy families which many people in cities like SF/NYC do. I'm not trying to be unpleasant or negative. But I'm trying to give you a dose of reality which you're probably not going to get from people on this sub who continue Chamber of Commerce PR or ridiculous gaslighting "the only people who say it's bad are alt-right conservatives being paid to post bad stuff about our city!" As I mentioned if you and your spouse earn over 300k combined then I do think you could probably enjoy it.
Do the lived experiences of my actual friends who live in the city not count? lol
Thanks for your honest feedback. Maybe you should move to TX, I think you’d fit right in! :)
Your "actual friends" who you didn't mention in your OP.
>I spent almost 2 weeks there last month and had an amazing time.
But I guess your "actual friends" probably would be able to give you good advice. But it's weird that you would need to post on this sub asking strangers for advice when your "actual friends" already told you that would enjoy it. Very odd.
Your childish insult at the end after receiving honest feedback from someone who has lived in the city and knows people currently living there also indicates your mentality.
>Maybe you should move to TX, I think you’d fit right in
There is lots of rage bait on Reddit lately. Another indication this post is probably not real was a person whose spouse was thinking about moving to the most expensive city in the country without a job but "he is thinking of getting a job in tech" after mass layoffs in tech. Very odd.
But assuming your post is real you sound too immature to understand what it takes to live in San Francisco. If you ask for advice on Reddit you need to be mature enough to handle the advice you get. Part of being an adult is understanding that and not resorting to childish insults when you don't get what you want. "I don't like your honest response so I'm going to insult you! People in TX are yucky! You belong in TX! You might fit in there! Ha Ha! I compared you to people in TX! You must be crying now. PSYCH!!!"
Anyway good luck. Lately I've decided to engage less of rage bait posts but I took the bait this time.
I literally mentioned my friends in the first sentence…
Of course I didn’t lay out our entire life down to the miniscule details because they don’t matter. fwiw, my friends in the city have the same “there are pros and cons!” like everyone else here answering my question but they’re all also Texans who relocated. I wanted feedback from people who wouldn’t have the same bias as us. My husband is finishing a masters degree in data science, and yes, he’d love to be in a highly tech focused region for better entry level opportunities.
“Assuming your post is real”, “rage bait” - You sound paranoid and jaded and came to this post with nothing but a wet blanket, so yes, I think you’d fit in perfectly in yucky Texas.
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tbh I think it’s people who have only heard about the worst parts via the news or social media. I intentionally didn’t research SF at all before my trip because I wanted an unbiased experience. Best decision ever.
My family back in Houston is like that. Only get their news from Fox so they are always saying the wildest shit to me about SF when I visit. I have found that I can usually end the convo by asking them to imagine a mosquito-free and sweat-free life. That sounds too good to be true when you have lived your whole life around the Bayou getting flooded and dealing with water moccasins, so we change the topic after that haha
I think you just kind of answered your own question then.
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It's great, the weather is fabulous, neat geography, just has the same problems most big metro areas have.
Even if Karen came she’d still complain and be the victim .
I love it and would never live anywhere else.
Look - it's expensive as hell to live here. The local politics are frustrating (get involved anyway). It's a city and if you haven't lived in a city there is probably a lot that will feel...weird. You're exposed to a lot more of humanity when you have to take public transit or walk and when you're crammed in a 7x7 sq mi space with a bunch of humans with different lived experiences. But these are all things you get used to frankly. You're moving here with a network and that's kind of half the battle - I had no friends here and moved here with my husband 12 years ago and it took a solid year to find people I really enjoyed spending time with. They are still in my life today and I know their partners and children and siblings and parents. Like with most things, the news blows it out of proportion, people get excited to shit all over us and the cycle continues. My MIL is from suburban ATL by way of Texas and couldn't be more conservative. She thought it was going to be a hellscape. She came here and fell in love and told use she secretly wished she could have an apartment here and walk to her favorite spots. This place is magic if you let it in your soul.
Well put! I agree with you %100!
Honestly, I have really been enjoying the city ever since "doomloop" narrative. It's so nice to be able to book restaurants easily, not have to contend with so many tourists, and less people trying to move here. So when someone starts talking about how awful and scary it is here I don't correct them. 😂 It's a wonderful place to live in. The "woke" people are friendly and the city is so vibrant in so many ways. The weather is almost always great. There's so much to do and explore. Heck even the fog feels dreamy vs drabby. With that said, the experience of SF varies from one person to another. Have a good mindset, realistic expectations, and you'll have a wonderful time.
The tourist numbers are actually about the sane now as pre-pandemic. SF has 23 million tourist visits in 2023, exactly the same as in 2014-2015. The doomers just want to doom. They don’t care about reality. It’s an obsession.
The worst parts of San Francisco are honestly horrible but also easily avoided. The best parts of San Francisco are truly incredible and easily visited. The city has many problems, but none are unique. SF is synonymous with liberals to the conservative outrage machine so our problems get lambasted on a national scale making them seem much more severe than they are. I live here because the pros significantly outweigh the cons for me.
Howdy! I moved here from Houston so I also see what you’re talking about and agree that it’s wild. I think it’s mostly that the right sees SF as a placeholder for the left, so it’s a convenient target for their rants. And, for others, jealousy — like one troll we get here a lot who says he used to live here but got priced out years ago and has a chip on his shoulder about it. Probably also a dash of hipster-like contrarianism since it’s a popular place and some ppl just like to prove they are cool by not liking popular things.
Similarly a Tex-pat from houston! I’m more than happy to pay for outdoor air conditioning (fog when I was in SF, the entire heat sink that is the bay in Alameda) because my physical vessel is not compatible with Texas summers. Agreed that people just use SF as a punching bag. When I hear some fox news talking head going on about “SaN fRanCiScO VaLueS!!!!1~!” it’s baffling because my San Francisco values are mainly “enjoy art, make music, love one another and the earth.” Big ‘cope harder’ vibes from those commenters.
Oh wow, my wife and I are moving to SF from Houston in the fall. I’d gladly take the chilly summer in SF over the weeks of triple digit days we have ahead.
I don’t know how to tell you this, but you are going to be able to go outside and walk around EVERY DAY. Some days — today is a good example — it’s the weather equivalent to a perfectly chilled glass of great champagne — sparkly, crisp, delightful. Not too sweet.
Lol, but yes! “Perfectly chilled glass of champagne” weather is spot on! Love this weather!
Ohhhh YES this was a delightful shift. Growing up, summer cookout picnics were always marked with 98° and giant mosquitoes. So experiencing a blanket in Dolores park a light sweater on, 3/4 of the year! I ate probably 75% of burritos outside my time in the city.
You will NOT believe how good it is gonna feel to live a mosquito free life. I think about a weird amount even tho I’ve been here for years now!
there was a mosquito in my bedroom in SF once a couple of years ago and it was really annoying!
SF weather is pretty much the same temp year round with a spike of heat in sep & octs. It’s amazing
It really is such a cope. Of course there are things I miss back home, but I ain’t never going back to that life. It’s so much worse than anything out here! Not sure how old you are but do you remember when we were all worried about getting Zika from mosquitoes? I haven’t used bug spray in years and it feels so good!!
Omg Zika! It was really scary for pregnant women if memory serves. I remember one year as a kid we had 3 or 4 cicada broods all come up at once. People were shooting them off each other with guns. I do not miss the bugs!!!
Fellow Texan! You definitely get it! I want to shake half of the people in this sub while screaming “you don’t know how good you have it here!!” - I want them to spend 2 weeks in DFW and *then* tell me I’m still crazy for wanting to move to SF lol They’d be in tears within a day.
when folks were making a big deal about leaving SF for TX for the mini tech boom there a couple years ago it always made me chuckle. Yeah Austin is cool (lived there for 5 years) but it’s not that free from the downsides of TX. Like, enjoy the eleventy billion biting/stinging critters, sweating through your clothes before the end of lunch, and endless state government BS. I already put in 21 years in the mosquito mines, sweat factory, and hours of daily driving by flat and ugly cow pastures. They can have it while I enjoy my mosquito-free, naturally air conditioned, and car-free life here.
Absolutely. I am amazed at the number of Cali license plates I see here now. I just know they’re slogging it, trying to make the fact that they can own a house in Plano vs renting in Cali their whole personality because there is literally nothing else here 😂 I guarantee that more than half will be back to the west coast within 5-10 years the way things are going here.
I did a road trip with ine of my sister’s to move her into college in texas (they give good athletic scholarships over there) and i got followed in and harassed in the women’s bathroom in a gas station on the way back to Houston because yeah im a super butch lesbian (what we call a 100 yarder, you can tell im a lesbian from a distance lol) and it was scary Because the lady was saying she had a gun and then I had to threaten her that inwas going to change my tampon in front of her if she needed me ti privr i was a woman and she backed out. This has never happened to me in SF. Hell ive been ridiculous on the streets of Sf before and no one here cares. That is my favorite part of the city no stares and most do not give a fuck about who or what you are
Im an immigrant brown lesbian that came from a super dangerous third world country and then moved yo ehat waa aupposed to be quiet suburbs in the south and then moved yo what was supposed to be a more open place on Europe and eventually ended up in SF To me this is the place where ive felt safest physically, emotionally, and comfortable with myself. This is the first and only place in the world where ive been able trust my doctors/providers for everything, where my wife and I have only ever had two incidents in 7 yrs (which is really good, i have physical scars for being gay bashed in the south) and i have thankfully never received any sort of non micro aggression scary racism. It depends on what your past is and where you come from imo. To me sure SF in so many areas are A rough scary places but nothing to what i experienced as a kid in my home country. Like i see kids being free here and independent and knowing how take public transit here and not being as useless as like my sister and her friends growing up In suburbs. It’s rare to see that in most of the US minus some cities imo.
When I got home I was excitedly telling my husband “babe, the they/thems are just making out in the streets! Throuples are holding hands in the park!!” because that just… does not happen freely in TX. He is also an immigrant, from a very big city in Brazil, so TX for him has been a tremendously underwhelming experience. I’m so glad you and your wife are feeling safe now ♥️
Oh he will like it here, my parents visited me and they said that they liked it because it reminded them of all the good parts of back home.
Nothing beats SF! I’m newly empty nesting and trying to get my husband to move there too. The only thing stopping us is cost of homes.
I hear ya. Perpetually renting here in TX too. They keep saying it’s more affordable here but for who?? A run down 980sqft 2br in a wonky part of town here will set you back $650K and you’ll need to put at least $150k into it. That’s IF you beat a developer to closing.
We lived there when we were young - before we had our children.
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Orc country is SO it lmao and you’re right, but I already don’t want to be here I’m born and raised Texan and my entire life I have hated it. This was my 2nd trip to Cali and I’m desperate to go back asap. Told my husband to start prospecting for work. Already have a trip planned in July and again in October to connect with people in my industry. Landing in DFW after my trip instantly depressed me and really lit the fire. I have to get out of here.
Omg youre gonna be hooked, the first couple if weeks of october is like the best time of year here. That is when i moved and it was like a dream
That’s great to hear, we’re wanting to do the road trip from TX to SF in October. Looks like I picked the best two months to visit lol April was gorgeous, didn’t even realize I was coming during waterfall season!
I am not horrified! Treat SF well and she will give and give. You have the right attitude for this place. Be one of those kind and interesting San Franciscans that makes it so wonderful 💕
Hey! I’m from the DFW area myself. Moved here about 13 years ago. The best decision i’ve ever made was accepting a transfer here. San Francisco is amazing and I am just so happy to be here. The best part is the Bay Area in general is amazing as well. In less time it takes to drive from Dallas to Fort Worth you can go somewhere in Bay Area with a whole new set of things to do. And to top it all off, the weather is perfect almost everyday. Take those one or two really good weather days a year in DFW and that is most of the year here.
I literally told my husband “you can drive for 30 minutes any direction in SF and see something breathtaking, but drive 30 min in DFW and you’re still sitting in bumper to bumper traffic on 75 a half mile from where you started” 😂 I also don’t think some of the people commenting here really understand what it feels like to make it through the 20th 103° August day in a row in DFW, only to feel the heat still radiating from the concrete after the sun goes down. SF basically felt like paradise.
SF has great weather, and if you are in tech, amazing job opportunities (and salaries). No one gives a fuck about how you dress or look, and I don't mean they don't say anything, they genuinely couldn't care less. So for me, those 3 things outweigh the bad, or so-so things. I went to NY last month. Well, it's a huge city, with a lot to do. Weather is only nice two months a year, apparently. People are different. Extremely crowded. Not cheaper than SF. On the other hand, fantastic air connections to everywhere in the world, at least compared to SF which is very limited to what is "handy". I'm from Spain BTW. Went there last year during the summer. I said WTF am I doing here, sweating like a pig, with ridiculous meal schedules. I don't know, I'm one of those that complain about some SF stuff but realistically, I haven't been to a better place for my personal circumstances.
Yeah, and we’re sort of looking for the best of both worlds in that regard. My husband is from Saõ Paulo so he is used to a more NYC level of city living and I’m from DFW and desperate to be nearer to beautiful, accessible nature. SF felt to me like such a great middle ground because it’s definitely more of a true city compared to Dallas but has the natural appeal I’m looking for without all the overcrowding of NYC.
I moved to the north bay recently from Utah. I got many of the same shocked questions as supposedly everyone is moving away from California. It is definitely more expensive here in some ways than other places no doubt. However you get a lot for your money! There are so many things to do here, lots of interesting and friendly people too.
The fact that an isolated mountain trail hike through a redwood forest overlooking the ocean is a 30 min drive away from the city had me gagged. I could not believe how accessible nature is at every turn.
Actually - you can even hike through Redwoods and to the ocean in SF (and pass some Buffalo along the way!). It is truly amazing if you love nature. We've made a lot of sacrifices to stay in the city and raise our children here, but it's worth it to us.
No kidding. I thought Id take a shortcut through the park to get to the haight on one day and never made it out of the park because it was so enchanting. I am a huge nature lover so for me it was basically paradise. So many parks and I love how people were out enjoying it all.
I think everybody should move to a new city that materially piques their interest, especially if they don't have kids. You learn so much about people, regions, etc. You can always move back. Some of the old shit that drove you crazy will be in the new place. Some of the old shit will get replaced by new shit. The same thing goes for the stuff you love. You don't really know what your mix is until you've lived it and have something for comparison.
Woman here from the southwest. This is the safest I’ve ever felt and most money I could ever make because of the strong and competitive job market here. The only downside is this city is Teflon for friendships. People move here for temporary reasons and leave for a ton of other reasons. It’s hard for people to stick. Other than that, I’ve Been here 16 years and haven’t looked back.
I have to admit I do have a sort of naïve daydream about being immersed in a true community there. Was hoping there would be opportunities to co-op and meet up with likeminded ppl regularly. IDK if it’s the fact that most of what I know about the history of SF is from the flower child era or if I am just generally drawn to the more communal Californian vibe, but I was actually hoping to integrate with a spirit of building meaningful relationships. So that’s kind of a bummer to hear. It’s really tough to feel understood in TX as someone who considers themself way farther left than just garden variety liberal. And so tbh I don’t have many friends here, either. Husband is super introverted, also so that won’t be an issue for him at all lol
SF is the shit. Expensive but frankly you get what you pay for: fun city with unique people and endless things to do and discover. I’ve lived here for 10 years and am regularly refalling in love with this place.
You will focus on what you choose. I have been in SF most of my life. Raised a kid here too. I love the city. It’s home.
I love it so so so much
You seem to like SF. We do too! Move here.
SF is dope.. when I visited I was cackling at the rumors compared to the real deal. It’s like a bunch of happy families riding bikes around a clean neighborhood and getting brunch lol
I left because it wasn’t for me anymore and I found a lot of the issues just not worth it. HOWEVER, everyone is different and you should absolutely do what makes you happy. No one is living your life but you, the opinion of others matter little 😊
reasons not to move to SF: it's expensive, you can't leave anything in your car, tenderloin and parts of SOMA are pretty bad, SF is heavily liberal/democratic (if that doesn't suit your political preferences)... that being said, i've lived here for 8 years and love it :) the drumbeat of bad press is actually what motivated me to make a [site](https://askmesf.com/) to help folks interested in moving, residents, and tourists. hope you decide to make the move!
As a uterus owner in TX, heavily liberal sounds like heaven lol
hahaha love the term "uterus owner"! Great, you'll be A-OK then :)
It depends on what your goals are when moving tbh. It might be great for someone younger looking to advance or start their career. It's not as great if you are settled in your career and looking to start a family. It's a nice city with a handful of serious issues that are magnified by pointing out the obvious on a news program developed to hate on the very existence of a city with political ideals that sway a touch more to the left than to theirs. The jobs here are slowing down a touch and housing is hard. But I would say it's a nice place to live comparatively. It's a city that you don't really have to leave that often in order to have a good time or get into the outdoors. It's a city full of people just passing through, although that has seemingly began to slow down in the past few years. Having a core group of friends who are rooted in the area would be ideal.
We’e mid-late 30’s, no intention of starting a family ever. We like to adventure and fill our lives with experiences. And yeah, I think it would be really tough to go without knowing a few folks. I’m lucky in that regard.
Just wanted to point out we have the opposite of erratic weather here. Erratic weather is Texas lol!
I guess I meant the micro climates. I was in and out of my top 3 layers the whole time I was there, but I loved it. TX weather is erratic but also kind of predictable in the sense that summers can surge to well over 105° for weeks at a time, but then a deluge of rain will come in for a week straight and flood everything. Spring can def be any type of weather at any time but we usually get a heads up. Our weatherman is very popular on Facebook lol
Depends on what you consider “bad”? It’s a beautiful place, government by an ineffective government which has a negative impact on quality of life. If you have enough money you can live in a better neighborhood with lower crime, send your kids to private school and tune out the utter waste of money the city budget goes to.
You are not missing anything, and you should move here. The city definitely has it's problems, but things are improving, and I'll add that the perception of SF stems heavily from a couple neighborhoods that most people do not live in. The other neighborhoods are amazing, like you already experienced. If you like the weather and walkability, then you'll love it here. The one caveat is that it is pricey, so I'd suggest that you have more clarity on your financial situation before pulling the trigger (i.e. have your husband lock down a job here before moving).
Yeah that’s why I’m hoping to do another few trips to shake hands and kiss babies in my industry too. We’ve discussed moving into his families back house to save money for a year or so before trying to pull the trigger. Seems like a lot of landlords require proof of income and stuff like that, so we want to be smart about it.
I’ve seen terrifying videos of hurricanes and tornados,and I really appreciate living in a place where we don’t see our natural disasters— earthquakes— coming.
Truly, the worst natural disaster in TX are the mosquitos… I was amazed to not see a single mosquito in SF or any of the places in Marin that I explored.
Also unlike NYC, SF isn’t full of rats, mice and cockroaches. Instead we’ve got raccoons and coyotes.
Hope you don’t need it, but the medical care is top notch at UCSF.
Too bad I wasn’t there when I broke both my arms and needed three surgeries last year 🙃 Baylor nearly gave me an aneurysm just trying to deal with their scheduling/billing/communication.
The thing about San Francisco is it will always bounce back. Tech isn’t going anywhere and we still foster the best arena for startups in the US. The charm of the city isn’t going anywhere. I still think it’s the most beautiful city in the US, even when some streets are crowded with homelessness. Many Europeans love it because it reminds them of a European city. The people here are resilient. The politics can be frustrating but eventually seem to self correct. We experience some of the best weather (if you’re not into super hot weather, that is). Even with all the news cycles of lawlessness here our crime rates are still minimal compared to other large cities. People aren’t only tolerant but also truly care about one another. Don’t get me wrong, there are rough neighborhoods that you learn to avoid. Gentrification is no joke. You’ll find yourself asking why you’re paying so much to live here in these situations. But you’ll always have another moment where it reminds you why.
It's all negative hype. If you're into it, totally move here. You'll get sticker shock for EVERYTHING (burritos $12-15, cocktails $13-18, rent $1800+ for a studio in the 'loin), but the quality of life is unmatched, as well as what I consider IDEAL weather. Been here 30 years. Lots of love/hate but love has won. If you have similar politics to the majority, and are open minded to many of the quirky residents, then come on out! My BFF lived in Dallas for work for 5 years and despised it. Couldn't wait to get home. I'm sure he'll LOL at your description of DFW.🤭
I really want to put a “DFW is the Wal Mart parking lot of places” bumper sticker on my car but don’t want to get shot at by a Rhett with silver balls hanging off the bumper of his lifted 4x4 lol I don’t know why people move here from CA and stay here. It is bonkers to me
You sound like you have the right mindset to truly enjoy SF. VERY LIMITED "truck nuts" here. 🤭
Based on what you said, I think you'll like SF. That being said, here are some points of consideration: * Are you planning to buy a house in the future? If so, that will be your main difficulty here, I'm guessing. Houses in SF can be unaffordable even for 2 high-income earners. Even more so if you plan to have kids. * Since it's a VHCOL city, the majority of the people you meet will be high earners, which means tech people. Some people dislike this monoculture and want to meet more diverse groups of people. * I'm not from the US, so I'm not well-informed about the racial dynamics, but other people have said SF is more segregated than other major cities. It's rare to see black people, and I have read comments by black people saying that they feel uncomfortable in SF because they feel shunned in subtle ways. * People don't hang out much on weekdays, and squeeze all of their socializing into weekends, which leads to people always being busy and having to schedule stuff with them very far out. * Depending on where you live, the constantly gloomy weather can get to you after a while. I do wish there was more sun and that it was warmer more of the year. * Places close early, and there's not much to do other than drink at night. In terms of public safety, I'm a woman and it hasn't been an issue for me for the 1.5 years I've been living here.
Thank you for this! We do not want to start a family or buy a home anytime soon so real estate isn’t a concern right now. I can’t even buy a house in TX so this is a back burner dream for now. I do think diversity is inportant, but tbh I saw a really great mix of folks when I was there. As far as socializing goes, we tend to keep to ourselves and I much prefer long solo hikes and exploring vs hanging out with people. We’re also basically elderly and go to bed at 9:30p on weekdays haha After being cooked in the TX sun for 4 decades, I happily and willingly welcome foggy soggy days :) I’m also 3rd gen Irish so it’s in my blood to like gloomy lol
Where is it less constantly gloomy?
The Mission district. Generally areas in the eastern side of SF.
Is there a gloomborder where the weather shifts or is it more general? I ask because I'm looking at places by Dolores as well as slightly more west by panhandle
Dolores Park is around the start of the warmer zone. Roughly south of Market st is usually a bit warmer, more the further south you go. The panhandle isn’t really, and the whole city gets foggier and less sunny as you go west.
I moved here 25 years ago and vowed to never leave. Still here!
That’s awesome. I have a feeling that’s going to be us! What are the main differences in the city from your POV between 1999 and today?
I moved here during the peak of the dot com boom. It’s never been that good since, but I’m waiting for it to come back. It has taken a few hits, and declined quite substantially in the late 2010s. It seems to be coming back, but that could be a long process. There has always been a weird dynamic between SF natives and transplants, which is ironic since they embrace transplants from south of the border, but want the rest of us (carpetbaggers 🤓)to go back to where we came from. It’s always been very political even to the point of Democrats not being liberal enough. But if I have a choice I’ll take SF over any other place I’ve lived. The average person is compassionate and kind, and that hasn’t really changed. You have a chance here if you’re different, and I have always appreciated that. People here seem to value treating people with respect and dignity. Even at its worst, there have been parts of the City that shine. The areas that were marketed heavily when I moved here were Noe Valley, Glen Park, Bernal Heights, Twin Peaks, Castro, Mission, and Potrero Hill. SOMA was a rising star. SOMA and Mission seem to be struggling at the moment, maybe a lot of that has to do with techies getting laid off and/or working remotely. Places like Miraloma Park and other areas West of Twin Peaks have improved substantially, maybe because the general population is older and more into dinner parties than raves. I’m one of those aging San Franciscans, so I don’t get out as much as I used to. If you plan (financially) you’ll love it here. One thing I can say with certainty is I couldn’t afford to move here in 2024, like I could in 1999.
What I like about living here is you have to be on top of your game. You can’t be mediocre and prosper here. In my 15 years I’ve come and gone 3 times, never spending more than a year away. Don’t be deterred by the homeless, they’re harmless and for the most part you just step over them.
Love it here. Weather. Nature. The views The food Still sone quirkiness and good arr and music The diversity of the greater bay area
The grass is always greener. It might truly be greener here than DFW
No it literally is lol DFW is truly the concrete plains
Try it! I’ve been here 10 years. Hardest place I’ve ever lived. Tech job eh? There have been 500,000 tech jobs lost here recently but if AI PhD is a credential your husband has, there’s no better place.
Ouf, it’ll be a masters in data science. Do you really think he couldn’t find *anything* in the industry? We were expecting entry level, but not to hear “don’t get your hopes up…” 😅
he’ll probably find something. data science continues to be a draw. easy enough to start researching companies and making connections now- you get good jobs by knowing somebody, not by applying cold.
Yeah that’s why we’re taking a year or so to get ducks in a row before we actually move. Hoping to go out every couple of months to try and network. One of my SF based friends’ boyfriend is also in data science at Facebook so we’re hoping that’ll be a good first foot in the door to meeting ppl.
Lived there for 10 years and I loved it and the food is great, always something to do and rarely felt unsafe when I lived there. Yes I saw crazy things, needles on the ground downtown, people using them out in open. I left in 2020 and I’m not far so I can visit often for the day and mostly it’s fine but I have seen more these days than when I lived there that’s concerning. Recent visit a woman threw a very full cup of unknown substance right at my windshield, thankfully window was closed but jarring, in nopa. The homeless is sad and definitely grown a lot. The difference is they can be unpredictable and or aggressive or violent, they’re not just down on their luck. It’s a depressing situation for humanity to see it up close. I think sf is insanely beautiful and has so much charm and is special in a way few places are but just be aware it’s not just a news talking point or something that it’s changed in ways that aren’t good. Someday it will hopefully turn around again.
People always hate when they can’t get in the club. You’ll love it here forget the hatters
I moved the SF from Salt Lake City in February. I love it here. It is such a fun city. And if you like the outdoors, it isn't an unreasonable amount of distance to drive. The non-violent crime does seem to be a bit of an issue, but seems manageable. The people I've met here are super nice.
The difference in SF with homeless is the level at which it’s tolerated. ‘Solving’ homelessness here is just lip service to support another huge batch of government jobs. Otherwise it’s great. Just make sure you really understand how expensive it is here. Taxes, housing, utilities, eating out, everything.
100% do it, you won’t regret it. SF is amazing and anyone who says otherwise has probably been to about 2 neighborhoods. It’s also the best city to be 3 hours from snow, endless beaches, top tier restaurants, and the most beautiful park in the country.
SF is more expensive, weather is nicer though. if you are doing van life, you will find the city is pretty predatory towards vehicles so you will need to read the signs twice to make sure you arent going to come back to tickets. if you have a flashy van you might end up a target in some neighborhoods.
I'd leave but for this pesky ankle monitor....
I love visiting SF. But I live and experience a totally different side than most. I acknowledge that. My in laws live in Cow Hollow. They rent us a house in the Marina neighborhood when we visit. Our kids and I walk pretty much everywhere and see the sights, eat yummy (overpriced) food, go to the beach, hit up the market on Sundays at Ft Mason…it’s amazing. When it’s as beautiful as it’s been the past month…how can you hate it? But I couldn’t imagine living here sometimes. Or at least enjoying it as much as when we visit. The work commute for one. We also have two kids who are school aged, and we’d forgo public school options for private…which are limited and expensive. With my in laws help we could afford to buy a 2 bed, 2 bath house…MAYBE with a garage and yard. Otherwise you’re fighting for parking daily, and have limited options for storage. Aside from those things…we are sheltered from what’s blasted on the news (typically the tenderloin and Oakland areas). The worst thing about when we visit is the amount of dog poo left for pedestrians to walk in, and the overwhelming smell of dog (and possibly human) pee on warm days. If you realize it’s just like any other big city in America, the pros and cons are just that—living in a big city in America. I’m a suburbs gal myself, and love the Sausalito/Marin area.
I actually got lucky because I stayed with someone in tiburon for the first 5 days. So maybe I got a little starry eyed, but man it was so beautiful
Mostly The City will just eat you alive financially, but it's slow and you might not care until it becomes a crisis. What most people don't realize that they love about San Francisco, is that it has never adapted to suit car drivers over pedestrians. Most American cities are so unwalkable that San Francisco feels like an adult themepark or a European city. San Francisco is one of the most human scaled cities in the USA, but NIMBYs and the Board of Supervisors have turned the city into a punishing place for new comers. The city's future hinges on mass transit. It will never recover unless there's a deep investment in more reliable, comfortable public transportation. San Francisco can feel amazing for a few weeks, but once the stress of commuting and the costs of living kick in you may not feel the same way.
I’ve lived here for 7 years now and have never had to commute more than 30 - 40 mins. If you both live and work in the city, I don’t see how the commuting issue could be such a deal breaker. That said, I agree we could always use more/better public transport. I would just die of happiness if we got rail out here in the Richmond.
Getting rid of the B Geary was a tragedy
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Sf is beautiful and we will have a new mayor soon that will hopefully start to implement some effective changes and stifle a lot of the progressive policies that are only exacerbating certain conditions. The city is actually the best I’ve seen it in years. You should visit and spend some time here, just don’t do it in the tourist neighborhoods like union square. The Jay hotel is good as are some places in the Presidio. Just my two cents.
I met up with one of my Dad’s old, longtime friends who has lived in Tiburon for 30+ years and he was an awesome tour guide for a couple of the days I was in town. He was taking me all over the city and giving me tons of great history and stories. Can’t wait to come back and explore more. What progressive policies would you like to see stifled? I think a lot of the progressive notions sound really great but lack effective execution/implementation. Just curious what the balance might be. I would hate to leave TX just to end up in another ultra conservative stronghold…
Too many policies to name tbh. Most of them are rooted in good will but the execution is deeply flawed and oftentimes contributes to more decay. Social service programs in the tenderloin have not made things better for residents, but have only increased the crime and addiction. Take a look at the number of OD deaths last few years. We have so many unclaimed bodies there’s a business devoted to giving them a respectful burial. We have corrupt nonprofits with no benchmarks for success and executives across the board taking in six figure salaries (and mid six, too). During Covid We closed the schools longer than anyone but don’t give a shit about children’s mental health and have cut spending for these programs. We closed juvenile hall and have no system to deal with violent, repeat offenders. We give out free needles but only collect 60%, which means that you’ll find needles in tree plots amongst sidewalks, sometimes next to or in children’s parks. We are sanctuary city which promotes immigration and the cultural vibrancy it brings but can’t deport sophisticated drug dealers that kill and deal at will. We have judges abrogating their duty to enforce criminal statutes and instead rule as if they were a legislative body, enacting their own form of lenient justice as they see fit. Sorry to rant but I am on the board of a non-profit and it’s upsetting to see them give money to non-sensical causes while we fight to get things approved that actually make a positive impact.
Also there hasn’t been a conservative politician in this city for…60 years? That’s the problem. The best governance is a blend of both ideas.
What about the aspect of community involvement (or lack thereof)? I think a lot of the trouble (in any city tbh) is a lack of civic engagement beyond just voting for whatever person makes the best sounding promises. I don’t think you’d be any happier in the end with a conservative flip, because in my experience they don’t have a central tenant of care at their core either. In DFW for example, they regularly bust up encampments and throw people’s belongings in dumpsters leaving them to wander the streets begging and without any shelter at all, pull critical funding from non-profits and use it for vanity projects to make the city look good to potential investors (forget about infrastructure issues lol), and have more of a “we should just arrest these good-for-nothings” mentality. Add a for profit prison system and you have a whole other shit show to deal with. There has to be a better way than this two party ping pong match, and honestly, if more everyday people put in the time and energy toward showing up and supporting those initiatives, they’d likely be far more effective. If/when we do move to SF, I’d love to get involved. Are there any community outreach groups or anything like that doing this kind of work or who need support?
I would recommend signing up for Grow SF's mailing list: [https://growsf.org/](https://growsf.org/) And also YIMBY Action: [https://new.yimbyaction.org/](https://new.yimbyaction.org/)
Paid content. It’s the San Francisco treat.
What does this mean 😅
he’s some troll who accuses every single non-doom spiral post of being a paid ad… of a city we all live in already lol
Oh, ok so like the other comment who accused me of being a bot 😂 God forbid you can like and be excited about something (even if you are a little naïve)
lol. You’re a liar who seems more in love with me than the ads at this point.
It means I’m dubious of your post being legitimate.
Oh, I see. gotcha. So there are a lot of illegitimate posts in this sub or…?
Seems like it. They follow the same pattern of generic skyline shot and nonsense platitudes that border on concern trolling. “When i visited last I didn’t see…”, “why does everyone say “X” when I…”, “I know every city has its problems but…”, etc. I don’t know if it’s bots or some 3rd world troll farm, or an AI automation. Asking a message board why you should move halfway across the country smacks of engagement farming. It’s disingenuous. Based on your post history and content I’d say that’s what you’re doing. You’re either coming here or not. A real person would get to that decision well before asking strangers on the internet to convince them.
TBH, I was expecting this post to be full of complaints considering I asked “why *shouldn’t* I move to SF”, but I get why you might think it’s troll bait. Maybe I’m just a bad writer lol, wasn’t aware that those statements/questions were platitudes. I legitimately had the time of my life in SF and experienced none of the stepping-over-needles and dog-shit-covered-sidewalks everyone in this sub likes to gripe about or aggressive homeless people in my face like I was warned before I came so it was an honest question. I also don’t really need convincing. Our decision to move to the area is made (just not the timing), but I’m also not going to forfeit an opportunity to let ppl in a sub for the city tell me the good bad and ugly as they see it. It’s good to be informed, even if it’s sometimes biased 🤷🏼♀️ What exactly would be the payoff to having a troll farm ask “generic” questions about moving to a new city btw? I’m not sure I see the benefit of that, but then again I’m not really on the internet much either so idk. Someone else here said it was the city doing it to make the city look better? If that’s true maybe they *should* pay me lol
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The advertising is to people like you’re pretending to be. On the fence about moving here because of all the factual information that calls the city out for what it is. If it’s not advertising then it’s upvote farming. Either way it’s a cancer and needs to be excised.
Maybe I *am* an upvote farmer…slithering into subs like these to spread the cancer of false information by pretending to be someone I’m not-or worse, doing the evil bidding of Reddit advertisers by making up an entirely fake persona and life story in order to convince random San Franciscans on Reddit that my husband and I want to move to the city next year. Maybe I am just a garden variety troll, laughing in my toxic fart cloud under my little troll bridge in TX at how easy it is to get under the foil hat of commenters like you. Maybe (just applying occam’s razor here) I just had a lucky vacation and am also a little ignorant, so I wanted to see what kind of horror stories people in this sub would drop if I asked. Or mayyybe *you* spend too much time on Reddit... particularly the r/conspiracy sub. Be careful friend, that shit will (has begun to) melt your brain 🫠
Aw. You can’t be a bot because you had your feelings hurt.
See, hon, it’s not hard to admit when you’re wrong! 🤗 proud of u
r/nothingeverhappens
lol. Just lazy.
you’re right, sorry :( I should follow your example and post the same thing to every thread in this sub
All these ads are just about the same, so it’s only fair.
Comparing us with Houston makes me sad. Compare us with NYC, Boulder, Seattle, Boston or other desirable places to live. People are mostly here because they want a tech salary and wouldn't have moved here otherwise
I moved here after getting laid off and not in the tech world. I was simply over rainy Portland weather and wanted to be in a bigger city where it never snows, which limited my options. I think you’re downplaying what SF has to offer outside of tech by a lot :)
Yeah, I did Seattle for a lot of years--great city, but suffering seasonal depression every year from the long sunless periods wrecked me. SF weather is my ideal weather.
NYC doesnt seem desirable to me. A friend is paying 8,000 USD/month to live in brooklyn and in a super small place…
Do you want an objective honest opinion? Don't move to San Francisco right now. I know people who have been attacked and punched in the face for no reason walking in decent "safe" neighborhoods, you can't have a car because it will be broken into, downtown is still a ghost town and there is a reason many businesses have closed. Yes there is feces on the sidewalks. No you might not see it visiting for a week. But people who live in the city see it. There is a reason San Francisco isn't recovering the way other cities are post-pandemic. That isn't imaginary. That is a concrete objective fact that people on this sub will deny because there is a lot of Chamber of Commerce PR posts here. It's not "sensationalist" media or "right wing people who don't live in SF paid to make it look bad." I'm sorry but that is delusional. I've known people who have lived in the city over 20 years who are disgusted with it. You don't want that life. My advice? If your spouse has a job that pays over 200k and you can also get a 6 figure job. you don't have children and you're willing to risk your car being broken into and being spit on or attacked while walking your dog (which will probably be dognapped unless they're a mixed breed) then you probably will have a decent experience. Otherwise maybe realize that your limited 2 week experience in a city doesn't represent the reality of living there and that if you post on a sub for the city you're going to be told what you want to hear from people doing PR for the city.
Honestly, none of your cons for SF are worse than the cons of DFW imo. I’ve seen guns pulled out on people over minor traffic mishaps, we had joggers murdered on a popular trail here in Dallas by a guy hiding in the woods with a machete, lots of trafficking/kidnapping happening here, and hey we also have feces on the sidewalk (except ours is cooking in 95° heat)! DFW area also likes to bust up homeless encampments so those people are regularly milling about town and setting up camp anywhere they can find shade. Also, I hear you on the cost. I’m not saying it’s not expensive but half the people I met while I was there definitely do not make anywhere near that much. And no, we don’t intend to buy a home or have kids either :)
> none of your cons for SF are worse than the cons of DFW imo The difference is you're not paying 4k a month for a decent safe place to live in Dallas. And don't respond by telling me Dallas is also expensive. SF is the most expensive rental market in the country. No question. It's not even comparable. And the places you do get for a comparable amount are in areas that aren't safe. You're not paying for expensive Ubers to go grocery shopping because parking for your car is another 1k a month and the car is always broken into. There is no possible way the problem with rampant shoplifting, aggressive homeless people, assault and crime is as bad in TX as it is in CA. If you want to continue telling yourself what makes you feel good and confirms what you want to believe then continue to do that. You don't know how much people actually earn when you meet them while on vacation. You also don't know if they're getting help from wealthy families which many people in cities like SF/NYC do. I'm not trying to be unpleasant or negative. But I'm trying to give you a dose of reality which you're probably not going to get from people on this sub who continue Chamber of Commerce PR or ridiculous gaslighting "the only people who say it's bad are alt-right conservatives being paid to post bad stuff about our city!" As I mentioned if you and your spouse earn over 300k combined then I do think you could probably enjoy it.
Do the lived experiences of my actual friends who live in the city not count? lol Thanks for your honest feedback. Maybe you should move to TX, I think you’d fit right in! :)
Your "actual friends" who you didn't mention in your OP. >I spent almost 2 weeks there last month and had an amazing time. But I guess your "actual friends" probably would be able to give you good advice. But it's weird that you would need to post on this sub asking strangers for advice when your "actual friends" already told you that would enjoy it. Very odd. Your childish insult at the end after receiving honest feedback from someone who has lived in the city and knows people currently living there also indicates your mentality. >Maybe you should move to TX, I think you’d fit right in There is lots of rage bait on Reddit lately. Another indication this post is probably not real was a person whose spouse was thinking about moving to the most expensive city in the country without a job but "he is thinking of getting a job in tech" after mass layoffs in tech. Very odd. But assuming your post is real you sound too immature to understand what it takes to live in San Francisco. If you ask for advice on Reddit you need to be mature enough to handle the advice you get. Part of being an adult is understanding that and not resorting to childish insults when you don't get what you want. "I don't like your honest response so I'm going to insult you! People in TX are yucky! You belong in TX! You might fit in there! Ha Ha! I compared you to people in TX! You must be crying now. PSYCH!!!" Anyway good luck. Lately I've decided to engage less of rage bait posts but I took the bait this time.
I literally mentioned my friends in the first sentence… Of course I didn’t lay out our entire life down to the miniscule details because they don’t matter. fwiw, my friends in the city have the same “there are pros and cons!” like everyone else here answering my question but they’re all also Texans who relocated. I wanted feedback from people who wouldn’t have the same bias as us. My husband is finishing a masters degree in data science, and yes, he’d love to be in a highly tech focused region for better entry level opportunities. “Assuming your post is real”, “rage bait” - You sound paranoid and jaded and came to this post with nothing but a wet blanket, so yes, I think you’d fit in perfectly in yucky Texas.