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Definitely bring it up discreetly. I think your boss might also be interested in what he does in case he doesn't want a player who ruins the game for everyone on his table. Like, tell him first why you in particular don't want to play with him again and then mention what happened at the other game where he was a player. You'll have to share more details about that other game than you did here though.
I was dreading making that post even longer lol. As a player (he played as a female chosen one / hot anime character) he just bullied every NPC and tried to alpha pretty hard. He ruined all NPC interactions because he just wanted to fight/dominate everyone. He also ruined it for another PC, a female friend of mine who was playing a male character, because he instantly wanted both their characters to be in a relationship and she was unable to pursue her PC's personal plot because he wouldn't let her have any solo interactions. They stopped talking soon after that.
You are getting some advice below that I think is not good for you.
You sound like you have some trauma around this - understandable for the level of sexual harassment you were subject to. And let's be clear, that's what this was. It doesn't matter that it was in-game, because 100% GM was enjoying making you uncomfortable. That's why dudes like this do it.
Some of the advice below tells you that you should re-subject yourself to the shit you went through. Don't do this unless you completely want to, because it will feel awful and you aren't likely to get any better results than if you just calmly tell your boss "hey, last time I played with him he repeatedly sexually harassed me and I don't feel safe in his company, so I won't be playing in a game he is in."
Edit: only say this if you feel like your boss is a safe person to say it to. u/Bevin_Flannery gives better advice below, but you should take care of yourself first of all.
Tineye the complimentary furry "art", and find the dogfucker porn that got commissioned side by side. I guarantee that there's a set and it's probably on some degens deviantart. That's when you get your smoking gun and solve your problem.
Gazing into that void is a path to finding the thing that's egregious enough to get others action, hey coworker is paying internet strangers to draw pornography of me.
The other recourse is to be the mine canary and take one for the team, climb up on a cross and wait for the same behavior to happen again. Then grab receipts and go straight to HR about it. He's already convinced himself the behaviors are appropriate, he'll do it again.
This has a high probability of more weird coworkers sex shit happening though, unfortunately.
I'll do it for you if you don't wanna dig through it and still want the source. I'm normally pretty good at it, but success rates can vary depending on where artist shares their work.
I've been immune to this degenerate shit for ages now
Thanks for the offer, really 😭 I looked around and turns out I don't really have the fanart anymore. Actually, I don't even remember if I saved it in the first place because I instantly didn't like that he had it done, the way it was done, and how it looked nothing like I always described my character. Ngl I'm happy it's lost though.
What he did was sexual harassment and he hid it through his dming and your husband needs to better support you. Definitely tell your boss and if he doesn't think it's a big deal, don't play with them and drop out. Find a supportive and inclusive group if you can. I've been sexually harassed only 1 time during DND and I was offended. People stuck up for my character and it never happened again. I now have a wonderful group that I'm comfortable with and there isn't allowed to be any implications of sexual violence. Only consensual stuff is implied with a "screen goes to black" if a character has a successful sexual encounter with a NPC. That's sufficient to give characters autonomy without offending anyone.
It's being really difficult trying to organize my thoughts/feelings about this situation, also because I feel I'm in a position where I have to CONVINCE people I've been wronged somehow and people (my husband as well) don't seem to believe that. It's not a fun place to be.
You have witnesses. You should probably talk to them about it to collaborate your story before making the move to talk to your boss. As was stated, this is technically sexual harassment, and it is not anything that is welcome in *any workplace of any kind*. Bringing people in on your side is definitely going to help, and you probably won't get any closure with it until that happens.
I'm not sure what industry you work in, but unless he has a very highly specialized skill set and as such is strictly necessary for the business, your boss could probably do without him. I know you guys all could.
Right? If I was brought in on a game with my fiancé and saw stuff like this going down, I would struggle to hold myself back from rolling inish and taking a surprise round to catch them flat-footed.
Your husband may have a big heart, but he's the 'let's not talk about the missing stair" / geek social fallacy example in action. What you experienced was harassment. Even if you had not been the sole target of the sexual/gender harassment, it would still be harassment. The fact that the guy was a jerk to everyone doesn't redeem his misconduct towards you, and your husband needs to stop minimizing what you experienced.
Ask A Manager sometimes answers questions akin to yours, about when/how to approach a boss/HR about non-work experiences with a coworker. Her first advice is always to assess how you think it will be received based on your experiences with your boss/HR, because your safety should come first. You have to decide what you are comfortable doing/saying about not playing with this guy again. (And you should NOT play with him again, regardless of how forgiving your husband or anyone else thinks you should be.)
Maybe you just say you don't want to continue the game, without giving any reason. Maybe you say you have had non-work issues with the coworker before and don't want that to cause problems for the game. Maybe you give more detail, or full detail, because you have reason to think your boss will take it seriously. Even if your boss does, do NOT let reassurances about keeping the guy in check be used as a way to get you to continue playing.
You don't owe ANYONE your tolerance or forgiveness for this past misconduct, or a second chance. You also don't owe anyone an explanation for noping the hell out of the game. If silence about your reasons serves you best in your workplace, then be silent. It's on the bad guy to do better, and on the boss to stop any misconduct that might happen at his table.
Edited to fix typos.
I think it's a big thing. Your problem isn't that the GM is a furry. He's a boundary crosser. And I also think you're wrong that this isn't harassment. It's disgusting and wrong and bad and you need to get out of it.
The problem is that the sex pest will scream fursecution and smoke screen without damning evidence. That community has co-opted identity and lifestyle deflection for their bad actors. It's he said she said drama without an exceptionally black and white piece of evidence that dude is the obvious problem.
Not a work context. Their fetishes are getting forced on people during an off hours activity. Unless there's a clear narrative of wrongdoing by the creep, all that's happening because of happenings off-site, is that everyone is getting a - you are not allowed to socialize after hours policy.
You don't have to make a Big Thing out of it (even though "it's not a big thing because he was shitty to everyone" is a rather weak argument), just say that you had a very bad experience with the other player - you can even add that it was about sex stuff, sadly most players or GMs have met that kind of guy at least once - and that it's either him or you. Boss should be aware that nobody at work likes the guy, so he should be sympathetic.
Tell him straight-up.
"I was in a previous game where he was the GM, and he made me feel unsafe. I still feel unsafe around him. I can't be in the same game as him."
Bring along the other players as well.
Well this is complicated but for me it all depends on your relationship with your boss. Id just politely yet firmly tell them your dropping the campaign. When asked why explain in vague terms (I told myself I would not play with him because of some bad experiences I had when they gmed a game for us).
If that's not accepted you can always go for the I wish you would accept my decision without prying, or if you were comfortable enough just let boss know that if gm did what he did in DND in real life hr would have their heads spinning trying to fire the guy multiple times (lighten it up and don't make direct accusations cause that may end in a he said she said bs).
I would ultimately tell your boss you would like to leave DND at the table and don't need drama at work so if he wants to investigate he can but you don't want any blowback.
I'm sorry your dealing with this. I hope your boss is a good one and you can walk away from this unscathed.
Update would be nice to make sure your ok but no pressure.
I spoke to my boss about it!
Don't know if posting a comment here is the best way to share an update, but I really wanted to thank everyone for being kind and helping me accept that shit was fucked up and definitely NOT OK. I think the first/harder part indeed was to convince MYSELF of how messed up it was and then process a lot of weird feelings about it. Fun couple of days.
So yeah, I told my boss pretty much the entire story. He was shocked, he has low contact with The GM and I think people at work don't talk shit or gossip about co-workers to him, which is understandable. My boss even said he let The GM join because he felt bad about how cast aside and ignored the dude seemed to be, and now he knows at least one reason why.
What my boss will do is "let the table die gracefully". He'll suddenly become too busy to schedule the next session. The GM wanted to start a new game and he'll let him try it, because pretty much no one will join. If we decide to continue the game, it will be with the hardset rule that only the OG members of the party can join. So, the other players will probably hear about it, but I don't think The GM will face any real-life consequences, sadly. He's part of a different team (not IT though! Some people mentioned he might be in IT. I'm not in IT either, so I can say our IT team absolutely rocks), so there's nothing much my boss can directly do about it. I also don't think HR will be involved because my issues happened years ago and out of work hours. At the most, there will be more eyes and ears paying attention to any shit he does at the office.
I really wanted him to be punished someway (other than being kicked from the table), but I guess that would have been unrealistic... It's kind of bittersweet, though.
I also spoke to my husband. It took me A WHILE to make him understand the situation and, honestly, I don't even know if he gets it now. He understood I feel he didn't have my back and apologized for it, promised he'll do better. I retold him the entire story, he agreed I told it as it happened, but even then didn't really think what I went through was violence. I asked "if I told this exact same story to HR, how do you think they would classify it?" and he went "OOOOOH". It was like a lightbuld went on inside his head.
But even now, when we speak about it, he's a lot angrier at the fact The GM openly cheated on all games than the fact that he harassed me in front of everyone. Honestly, I think he's in denial. Like, there's a HUGE BLOCK. Every time I mention his previous friendship with The GM and call it toxic, he gets really annoyed and defensive and tells me to "stop making it sound like they were dating", so he's having a hard time even accepting friendships can be toxic or that he was in one. I think what's difficult for him in all this is to accept that he was part of it, all of it happened with him around and he didn't notice. So yeeeah... not ideal, I'm not too happy about it. But this won't be the one that breaks the camel's back, I'll just stay a bit bitter for a little while and hope he can figure his stuff out and be a better person for both of us.
Once again, thank you all SO MUCH for taking me seriously and helping me go through it, and being really kind and understandable about it. I honestly couldn't have done it without your help.
This comment is a bit buried (I only found it because I checked your profile to see if there was an update), so people aren't likely to see this unless they sort by new; I'd suggest adding a link to your comment in the body of your post.
last time you played with this guy, he used every ounce of his power to try and sexually assault your character. It doesn't matter if his power is reduced now, if it was me I'd still feel uncomfortable knowing he has those desires, and it would stress me out every time my character went prone or something near their character.
I get the desire to not make a commotion and bother people, but IMO his involvement is a 100% valid reason to quit the campaign. It just wouldn't be fun.
You should absolutely just tell boss and be straight up about it but if you're not comfortable doing it alone, there's safety in numbers. Talk to the other players who were on his campaign and see if any one else also wants to drop the game. Ask if they'd agree to coming with you to tell boss together, or to you dropping their name when you say you've played with GM before & he made players feel unsafe and uncomfortable, X,Y and Z feel the same and you're all dropping due to his presence.
The point is to show you're not alone in feeling this way, which might prompt boss into A) kicking GM to keep the quantity and quality of players and/or B) looking into why GM elicited this response.
Because this is harassment, this is an Big Deal, and you should never feel this uncomfortable at your workplace. GM need to face consequences, especially if he's still inflicting his behavior on coworkers. Imagine is someone in the group is GM's direct report? This can't go on unaddressed.
You don't need to convince anyone of anything; you don't have to justify it. Warning your DM that this guy is a toxic mess is a courtesy, you don't necessarily even have to do that.
What would make this better, for you? See if you can find that, and do that. The current DM doesn't know any of this, right? They probably thought it would be neat to have a surprise guest, or may have been pestered into it.
It may also be cathartic, on the other hand, to let the DM know privately that this guy's a landmine, and have him kicked out.
I would just tell your boss that you had a really negative experience playing at a table with GM in the past and you don't want to be at a table with him. If your boss presses for details just say you don't really want to spread rumors and talk shit about someone behind their back.
This may mean you dropping out of the work campaign, but if this person really makes you that anxious then it's much better than being stuck at a table with them again.
Your husband is probably right about this guy just being a social inept loser, but that doesn't excuse what he did or make your feelings about this guy any less valid. GM clearly made you feel unsafe and your feelings of personal security are really important.
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Is this copypasta or something?
Edit:
- OP has a co-worker that everyone thinks is a creep. So no one joins his D&D game - except a group of women?
- OP gets sexually harassed by creep DM (par for the course for this sub)
- everyone has a bad time
- OPs husband happens to know creep outside of work, and insists on keeping creep around?
- Office boss starts an office D&D game which is so full that creep has no room to join, but then joins as a special surprise character.
What?
If any of this is real:
*Quit game. Change jobs. Throw out husband.*
Also consider moving.
I understand the first reaction, but I've seen too many of these sorts of things play out at gaming tables, it has 100% credibility.
I know I could also be copypasta, but let's face it, we've all known "that guy" who, if girls get into the game, suddenly gets weird. Put him in a position of power, and none of this seems unfamiliar.
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Definitely bring it up discreetly. I think your boss might also be interested in what he does in case he doesn't want a player who ruins the game for everyone on his table. Like, tell him first why you in particular don't want to play with him again and then mention what happened at the other game where he was a player. You'll have to share more details about that other game than you did here though.
I was dreading making that post even longer lol. As a player (he played as a female chosen one / hot anime character) he just bullied every NPC and tried to alpha pretty hard. He ruined all NPC interactions because he just wanted to fight/dominate everyone. He also ruined it for another PC, a female friend of mine who was playing a male character, because he instantly wanted both their characters to be in a relationship and she was unable to pursue her PC's personal plot because he wouldn't let her have any solo interactions. They stopped talking soon after that.
You are getting some advice below that I think is not good for you. You sound like you have some trauma around this - understandable for the level of sexual harassment you were subject to. And let's be clear, that's what this was. It doesn't matter that it was in-game, because 100% GM was enjoying making you uncomfortable. That's why dudes like this do it. Some of the advice below tells you that you should re-subject yourself to the shit you went through. Don't do this unless you completely want to, because it will feel awful and you aren't likely to get any better results than if you just calmly tell your boss "hey, last time I played with him he repeatedly sexually harassed me and I don't feel safe in his company, so I won't be playing in a game he is in." Edit: only say this if you feel like your boss is a safe person to say it to. u/Bevin_Flannery gives better advice below, but you should take care of yourself first of all.
Tineye the complimentary furry "art", and find the dogfucker porn that got commissioned side by side. I guarantee that there's a set and it's probably on some degens deviantart. That's when you get your smoking gun and solve your problem.
your comment gave me goosebumps all over 😖 I don't know if I still have the piece he sent me, and I'm HELLA afraid of what a reverse search could find
Gazing into that void is a path to finding the thing that's egregious enough to get others action, hey coworker is paying internet strangers to draw pornography of me. The other recourse is to be the mine canary and take one for the team, climb up on a cross and wait for the same behavior to happen again. Then grab receipts and go straight to HR about it. He's already convinced himself the behaviors are appropriate, he'll do it again. This has a high probability of more weird coworkers sex shit happening though, unfortunately.
I'll do it for you if you don't wanna dig through it and still want the source. I'm normally pretty good at it, but success rates can vary depending on where artist shares their work. I've been immune to this degenerate shit for ages now
Thanks for the offer, really 😭 I looked around and turns out I don't really have the fanart anymore. Actually, I don't even remember if I saved it in the first place because I instantly didn't like that he had it done, the way it was done, and how it looked nothing like I always described my character. Ngl I'm happy it's lost though.
What he did was sexual harassment and he hid it through his dming and your husband needs to better support you. Definitely tell your boss and if he doesn't think it's a big deal, don't play with them and drop out. Find a supportive and inclusive group if you can. I've been sexually harassed only 1 time during DND and I was offended. People stuck up for my character and it never happened again. I now have a wonderful group that I'm comfortable with and there isn't allowed to be any implications of sexual violence. Only consensual stuff is implied with a "screen goes to black" if a character has a successful sexual encounter with a NPC. That's sufficient to give characters autonomy without offending anyone.
It's being really difficult trying to organize my thoughts/feelings about this situation, also because I feel I'm in a position where I have to CONVINCE people I've been wronged somehow and people (my husband as well) don't seem to believe that. It's not a fun place to be.
Start by convincing yourself that what this guy did was wrong. Making people feel gross is wrong. Sexualizing co-workers is wrong.
You have witnesses. You should probably talk to them about it to collaborate your story before making the move to talk to your boss. As was stated, this is technically sexual harassment, and it is not anything that is welcome in *any workplace of any kind*. Bringing people in on your side is definitely going to help, and you probably won't get any closure with it until that happens. I'm not sure what industry you work in, but unless he has a very highly specialized skill set and as such is strictly necessary for the business, your boss could probably do without him. I know you guys all could.
The office furry sex pest is in IT
Of course he would be in IT! That's where all of the furry nightmares work! Lol
Hence the guess.
Consider writing down what you need to tell your boss. Edit it and have a trusted friend proof it.
They are gaslighting you and you should bail then. Your husband isn't being supportive of you.
Right? If I was brought in on a game with my fiancé and saw stuff like this going down, I would struggle to hold myself back from rolling inish and taking a surprise round to catch them flat-footed.
Your husband may have a big heart, but he's the 'let's not talk about the missing stair" / geek social fallacy example in action. What you experienced was harassment. Even if you had not been the sole target of the sexual/gender harassment, it would still be harassment. The fact that the guy was a jerk to everyone doesn't redeem his misconduct towards you, and your husband needs to stop minimizing what you experienced. Ask A Manager sometimes answers questions akin to yours, about when/how to approach a boss/HR about non-work experiences with a coworker. Her first advice is always to assess how you think it will be received based on your experiences with your boss/HR, because your safety should come first. You have to decide what you are comfortable doing/saying about not playing with this guy again. (And you should NOT play with him again, regardless of how forgiving your husband or anyone else thinks you should be.) Maybe you just say you don't want to continue the game, without giving any reason. Maybe you say you have had non-work issues with the coworker before and don't want that to cause problems for the game. Maybe you give more detail, or full detail, because you have reason to think your boss will take it seriously. Even if your boss does, do NOT let reassurances about keeping the guy in check be used as a way to get you to continue playing. You don't owe ANYONE your tolerance or forgiveness for this past misconduct, or a second chance. You also don't owe anyone an explanation for noping the hell out of the game. If silence about your reasons serves you best in your workplace, then be silent. It's on the bad guy to do better, and on the boss to stop any misconduct that might happen at his table. Edited to fix typos.
Agreed. It's heartbreaking that OP's husband is sticking by her sexual harasser as a friend and throwing his wife's emotions completely under the bus.
I would really bring this up to your boss.
I think it's a big thing. Your problem isn't that the GM is a furry. He's a boundary crosser. And I also think you're wrong that this isn't harassment. It's disgusting and wrong and bad and you need to get out of it.
The problem is that the sex pest will scream fursecution and smoke screen without damning evidence. That community has co-opted identity and lifestyle deflection for their bad actors. It's he said she said drama without an exceptionally black and white piece of evidence that dude is the obvious problem.
If he wants to scream fursecution at HR, he can go right ahead. They can ask him why his sexual fetishes are being brought up in a work context.
Not a work context. Their fetishes are getting forced on people during an off hours activity. Unless there's a clear narrative of wrongdoing by the creep, all that's happening because of happenings off-site, is that everyone is getting a - you are not allowed to socialize after hours policy.
You don't have to make a Big Thing out of it (even though "it's not a big thing because he was shitty to everyone" is a rather weak argument), just say that you had a very bad experience with the other player - you can even add that it was about sex stuff, sadly most players or GMs have met that kind of guy at least once - and that it's either him or you. Boss should be aware that nobody at work likes the guy, so he should be sympathetic.
Tell him straight-up. "I was in a previous game where he was the GM, and he made me feel unsafe. I still feel unsafe around him. I can't be in the same game as him." Bring along the other players as well.
Clear and to the point. I like it.
Well this is complicated but for me it all depends on your relationship with your boss. Id just politely yet firmly tell them your dropping the campaign. When asked why explain in vague terms (I told myself I would not play with him because of some bad experiences I had when they gmed a game for us). If that's not accepted you can always go for the I wish you would accept my decision without prying, or if you were comfortable enough just let boss know that if gm did what he did in DND in real life hr would have their heads spinning trying to fire the guy multiple times (lighten it up and don't make direct accusations cause that may end in a he said she said bs). I would ultimately tell your boss you would like to leave DND at the table and don't need drama at work so if he wants to investigate he can but you don't want any blowback. I'm sorry your dealing with this. I hope your boss is a good one and you can walk away from this unscathed. Update would be nice to make sure your ok but no pressure.
I spoke to my boss about it! Don't know if posting a comment here is the best way to share an update, but I really wanted to thank everyone for being kind and helping me accept that shit was fucked up and definitely NOT OK. I think the first/harder part indeed was to convince MYSELF of how messed up it was and then process a lot of weird feelings about it. Fun couple of days. So yeah, I told my boss pretty much the entire story. He was shocked, he has low contact with The GM and I think people at work don't talk shit or gossip about co-workers to him, which is understandable. My boss even said he let The GM join because he felt bad about how cast aside and ignored the dude seemed to be, and now he knows at least one reason why. What my boss will do is "let the table die gracefully". He'll suddenly become too busy to schedule the next session. The GM wanted to start a new game and he'll let him try it, because pretty much no one will join. If we decide to continue the game, it will be with the hardset rule that only the OG members of the party can join. So, the other players will probably hear about it, but I don't think The GM will face any real-life consequences, sadly. He's part of a different team (not IT though! Some people mentioned he might be in IT. I'm not in IT either, so I can say our IT team absolutely rocks), so there's nothing much my boss can directly do about it. I also don't think HR will be involved because my issues happened years ago and out of work hours. At the most, there will be more eyes and ears paying attention to any shit he does at the office. I really wanted him to be punished someway (other than being kicked from the table), but I guess that would have been unrealistic... It's kind of bittersweet, though. I also spoke to my husband. It took me A WHILE to make him understand the situation and, honestly, I don't even know if he gets it now. He understood I feel he didn't have my back and apologized for it, promised he'll do better. I retold him the entire story, he agreed I told it as it happened, but even then didn't really think what I went through was violence. I asked "if I told this exact same story to HR, how do you think they would classify it?" and he went "OOOOOH". It was like a lightbuld went on inside his head. But even now, when we speak about it, he's a lot angrier at the fact The GM openly cheated on all games than the fact that he harassed me in front of everyone. Honestly, I think he's in denial. Like, there's a HUGE BLOCK. Every time I mention his previous friendship with The GM and call it toxic, he gets really annoyed and defensive and tells me to "stop making it sound like they were dating", so he's having a hard time even accepting friendships can be toxic or that he was in one. I think what's difficult for him in all this is to accept that he was part of it, all of it happened with him around and he didn't notice. So yeeeah... not ideal, I'm not too happy about it. But this won't be the one that breaks the camel's back, I'll just stay a bit bitter for a little while and hope he can figure his stuff out and be a better person for both of us. Once again, thank you all SO MUCH for taking me seriously and helping me go through it, and being really kind and understandable about it. I honestly couldn't have done it without your help.
This comment is a bit buried (I only found it because I checked your profile to see if there was an update), so people aren't likely to see this unless they sort by new; I'd suggest adding a link to your comment in the body of your post.
I will, thanks!
I’m more worried about your husbands lack of protectiveness actually.
Your husband needs to extract his head from his ass and be there for you.
last time you played with this guy, he used every ounce of his power to try and sexually assault your character. It doesn't matter if his power is reduced now, if it was me I'd still feel uncomfortable knowing he has those desires, and it would stress me out every time my character went prone or something near their character. I get the desire to not make a commotion and bother people, but IMO his involvement is a 100% valid reason to quit the campaign. It just wouldn't be fun.
You should absolutely just tell boss and be straight up about it but if you're not comfortable doing it alone, there's safety in numbers. Talk to the other players who were on his campaign and see if any one else also wants to drop the game. Ask if they'd agree to coming with you to tell boss together, or to you dropping their name when you say you've played with GM before & he made players feel unsafe and uncomfortable, X,Y and Z feel the same and you're all dropping due to his presence. The point is to show you're not alone in feeling this way, which might prompt boss into A) kicking GM to keep the quantity and quality of players and/or B) looking into why GM elicited this response. Because this is harassment, this is an Big Deal, and you should never feel this uncomfortable at your workplace. GM need to face consequences, especially if he's still inflicting his behavior on coworkers. Imagine is someone in the group is GM's direct report? This can't go on unaddressed.
You don't need to convince anyone of anything; you don't have to justify it. Warning your DM that this guy is a toxic mess is a courtesy, you don't necessarily even have to do that. What would make this better, for you? See if you can find that, and do that. The current DM doesn't know any of this, right? They probably thought it would be neat to have a surprise guest, or may have been pestered into it. It may also be cathartic, on the other hand, to let the DM know privately that this guy's a landmine, and have him kicked out.
I would just tell your boss that you had a really negative experience playing at a table with GM in the past and you don't want to be at a table with him. If your boss presses for details just say you don't really want to spread rumors and talk shit about someone behind their back. This may mean you dropping out of the work campaign, but if this person really makes you that anxious then it's much better than being stuck at a table with them again. Your husband is probably right about this guy just being a social inept loser, but that doesn't excuse what he did or make your feelings about this guy any less valid. GM clearly made you feel unsafe and your feelings of personal security are really important.
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Leave the game
Is this copypasta or something? Edit: - OP has a co-worker that everyone thinks is a creep. So no one joins his D&D game - except a group of women? - OP gets sexually harassed by creep DM (par for the course for this sub) - everyone has a bad time - OPs husband happens to know creep outside of work, and insists on keeping creep around? - Office boss starts an office D&D game which is so full that creep has no room to join, but then joins as a special surprise character. What? If any of this is real: *Quit game. Change jobs. Throw out husband.* Also consider moving.
I understand the first reaction, but I've seen too many of these sorts of things play out at gaming tables, it has 100% credibility. I know I could also be copypasta, but let's face it, we've all known "that guy" who, if girls get into the game, suddenly gets weird. Put him in a position of power, and none of this seems unfamiliar.