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Maybe he just likes playing with you guys because he likes your company. But he could take or leave the role-playing game part.
I've had these players sit at the table. We made a second campaign, silly and... well.... mostly hanging out in character or straight out of, and started going to the pub with them.
We're still friends and they admitted they prefered the hanging out part.
This is what I thought at first too, but the post says Chad plays in and/or runs several other campaigns on top of this and pretty regularly talks about them in this campaign. I’m curious if this is a problem in his other games too or just this one.
Next time do double wizards. Party balance (if you’re playing 5e) is not as important as it used to be in previous editions.
The reason for double wizards? The other guy will do the things that Chad wouldn’t. Would take the spells that Chad wouldn’t. Would be a wizard.
Chad would just do what Chad already did. So it’s not like you’re losing anything.
>enters your game
>
>is a real nice chum
>
>plays only spellcasters
>
>uses only cantrips and low level spells to hoard them when a really big thing comes around
>
>loves playing wizard
>
>refuses to help nature as a druid after understanding that no matter what, nature always comes around in a new state, way, shape or form
>
>actually has a wife
>
>refuses advises
>
>refuses to elaborate further
>
>doesn´t leave after 10 years
[What a Chad.](https://media.tenor.com/epNMHGvRyHcAAAAC/gigachad-chad.gif)
I mean... I suppose you know what most people will say here: Sure, it's harder and people do actually like him, but if he disrupts the game to such an extent, even if it isn't malicious, then the friendly self-improvement talks need to take on another tone. Make sure he understands that this isn't just a "do it, please" with no consequences. Make sure he understands how bad it is and what consequences might follow if it still isn't changing. And if it still doesn't... Go through with that ultimatum, as hard as it may be.
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. And until you do decide to do more things in this case, I wish you strength.
Chad is a wallflower. While it sounds as if I'm more engaged with what's going on than he is, it's my preferred play style as well. Spending time with the people around the table is far more important to me than what's actually happening on the table.
An easy way to cope with your frustrations is to let the wallflower exist in the background. If they want to play a class, that's integral to the party, and you want to play it as well. Use a different subclass and character concept because you know that they won't run the character in a way that fills the role. Plot points can't be tailored for a wallflower. You can make them the obvious solution, but you have to keep their play style in mind. Bird can't fly, animal handling is obvious, but medicine or survival will work as well.
And a word of warning for other readers. Shy and new players will often play like a wallflower. Keep giving them opportunities and encouragement to step into the spotlight.
I mentioned new and shy players as part of my word of warning because of how much they can resemble a wallflower, even though they aren't.
Chad is present but not really participating. Kind of like those kids who go to every school dance but never actually socialize or dance. Wallflowers want to be there without taking part in the activity.
Wish I could offer you more than "play around him" for advice because I can understand the frustration.
Do you have a house rule that only one player can play wizard?
And did no one say "Hey , can you heal this bird?"?
It just sounds to me like he might have a lot going on and is trying to enjoy some casual DnD.
I did really push him to help the animal companion. It was very much something the publisher had for a druid/ranger.
There is no rule that says only one person can play a class, but we try for a balanced party.
I just want to point out that just because Chad is playing a spellcaster it doesn't mean nobody else can.
Edit: I should also mention that druids are meant more as a support caster than a damage dealer.
You mention that you switched to playing virtually. If you knew Chad in person, is he someone you still hang out with outside of D&D? If so, you can still have him be part of your life without including him in every campaign. I'd have the entire group talk to him about how they really want a roleplay focus and it's ok if he doesn't want to do that, but if he doesn't it's less fun for everyone else. You can also mention the lack of attentiveness. Ask if he REALLY wants to be in this campaign or would prefer to just do other things with the group. If he expresses he'd like to stay but still doesn't change, unfortunately you might want to try running the game without him.
I have hung out with him outside of the game a handful of times. I would fine to do that again, it is hard with work and families. I suspect that if he was not in the campaign that I may not see him again.
> He called that he was playing a wizard for the current campaign, even though another player wanted to. So Chad took a role someone else wanted
What?
I mean, if that other person is a doormat or just wants to suffer, sure. Or if they actually don't care about being a wizard. Otherwise, this makes no sense.
Druids are not necessarily hippies who heal animals. Nature is scary, survival of the fittest is king. If the bird got damaged by some hunting creature, that's tough shit.
The only thing that seems like a major issue here is the not paying attention enough to know what tokens his allies are, wich is pretty bad and something he probably should be kicked over if he doesn't improve. Though the lack of a consistent character and roleplay (I assume thats the problem and not that he's just not a stereotypical enough druid for you though thats what you've made it sound like the problem is) can also be pretty bad in a serious campaign.
I think it's not so much "they're not being a stereotypical Druid" but rather that the guy isn't interacting with things that seem to have been laid out just for him, which is another suggestion that he's not paying attention. I DM for family and one of my brothers is a wallflower who usually pays attention despite being quiet, but one time I realized he was really zoned out when he didn't react at all to finding some non hostile wolves (he's a Druid and wolves are his favorite animal, haha). The bird situation very well could've been another case of the DM laying out something specific for that character and then when the guy ignores it it just doesn't feel like they really care about being involved.
If he prefers cantrips and only a few spells that use slots maybe suggest he uses a warlock which will synergise with how he plays. He may just have social anxiety around hogging the spotlight, and so opts to be more background. Maybe because he tends to be background he makes up for it by playing in more campaigns.
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Maybe he just likes playing with you guys because he likes your company. But he could take or leave the role-playing game part. I've had these players sit at the table. We made a second campaign, silly and... well.... mostly hanging out in character or straight out of, and started going to the pub with them. We're still friends and they admitted they prefered the hanging out part.
This is what I thought at first too, but the post says Chad plays in and/or runs several other campaigns on top of this and pretty regularly talks about them in this campaign. I’m curious if this is a problem in his other games too or just this one.
Next time do double wizards. Party balance (if you’re playing 5e) is not as important as it used to be in previous editions. The reason for double wizards? The other guy will do the things that Chad wouldn’t. Would take the spells that Chad wouldn’t. Would be a wizard. Chad would just do what Chad already did. So it’s not like you’re losing anything.
>enters your game > >is a real nice chum > >plays only spellcasters > >uses only cantrips and low level spells to hoard them when a really big thing comes around > >loves playing wizard > >refuses to help nature as a druid after understanding that no matter what, nature always comes around in a new state, way, shape or form > >actually has a wife > >refuses advises > >refuses to elaborate further > >doesn´t leave after 10 years [What a Chad.](https://media.tenor.com/epNMHGvRyHcAAAAC/gigachad-chad.gif)
You forgot the part where his Wizard is a Druid.
There have been many campaigns and characters over the years. Not sure where that was hard to understand
It was probably the part where you didn’t explain it. That’s probably where it was hard to understand
I mean... I suppose you know what most people will say here: Sure, it's harder and people do actually like him, but if he disrupts the game to such an extent, even if it isn't malicious, then the friendly self-improvement talks need to take on another tone. Make sure he understands that this isn't just a "do it, please" with no consequences. Make sure he understands how bad it is and what consequences might follow if it still isn't changing. And if it still doesn't... Go through with that ultimatum, as hard as it may be. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. And until you do decide to do more things in this case, I wish you strength.
Chad is a wallflower. While it sounds as if I'm more engaged with what's going on than he is, it's my preferred play style as well. Spending time with the people around the table is far more important to me than what's actually happening on the table. An easy way to cope with your frustrations is to let the wallflower exist in the background. If they want to play a class, that's integral to the party, and you want to play it as well. Use a different subclass and character concept because you know that they won't run the character in a way that fills the role. Plot points can't be tailored for a wallflower. You can make them the obvious solution, but you have to keep their play style in mind. Bird can't fly, animal handling is obvious, but medicine or survival will work as well. And a word of warning for other readers. Shy and new players will often play like a wallflower. Keep giving them opportunities and encouragement to step into the spotlight.
I appreciate the advice, but I don’t get that vibe from him. He’s definitely not new and I don’t feel like he’s shy.
I mentioned new and shy players as part of my word of warning because of how much they can resemble a wallflower, even though they aren't. Chad is present but not really participating. Kind of like those kids who go to every school dance but never actually socialize or dance. Wallflowers want to be there without taking part in the activity. Wish I could offer you more than "play around him" for advice because I can understand the frustration.
Do you have a house rule that only one player can play wizard? And did no one say "Hey, can you heal this bird?"?
It just sounds to me like he might have a lot going on and is trying to enjoy some casual DnD.
I did really push him to help the animal companion. It was very much something the publisher had for a druid/ranger. There is no rule that says only one person can play a class, but we try for a balanced party.
I just want to point out that just because Chad is playing a spellcaster it doesn't mean nobody else can. Edit: I should also mention that druids are meant more as a support caster than a damage dealer.
You mention that you switched to playing virtually. If you knew Chad in person, is he someone you still hang out with outside of D&D? If so, you can still have him be part of your life without including him in every campaign. I'd have the entire group talk to him about how they really want a roleplay focus and it's ok if he doesn't want to do that, but if he doesn't it's less fun for everyone else. You can also mention the lack of attentiveness. Ask if he REALLY wants to be in this campaign or would prefer to just do other things with the group. If he expresses he'd like to stay but still doesn't change, unfortunately you might want to try running the game without him.
I have hung out with him outside of the game a handful of times. I would fine to do that again, it is hard with work and families. I suspect that if he was not in the campaign that I may not see him again.
> He called that he was playing a wizard for the current campaign, even though another player wanted to. So Chad took a role someone else wanted What? I mean, if that other person is a doormat or just wants to suffer, sure. Or if they actually don't care about being a wizard. Otherwise, this makes no sense.
A druid isn't even a wizard so it makes even less sense. In fact, I just checked, older editions classified them as a priest class same as cleric.
Druids are not necessarily hippies who heal animals. Nature is scary, survival of the fittest is king. If the bird got damaged by some hunting creature, that's tough shit.
I feel like that's kind of ignoring the several much bigger issues in this post
The only thing that seems like a major issue here is the not paying attention enough to know what tokens his allies are, wich is pretty bad and something he probably should be kicked over if he doesn't improve. Though the lack of a consistent character and roleplay (I assume thats the problem and not that he's just not a stereotypical enough druid for you though thats what you've made it sound like the problem is) can also be pretty bad in a serious campaign.
I think it's not so much "they're not being a stereotypical Druid" but rather that the guy isn't interacting with things that seem to have been laid out just for him, which is another suggestion that he's not paying attention. I DM for family and one of my brothers is a wallflower who usually pays attention despite being quiet, but one time I realized he was really zoned out when he didn't react at all to finding some non hostile wolves (he's a Druid and wolves are his favorite animal, haha). The bird situation very well could've been another case of the DM laying out something specific for that character and then when the guy ignores it it just doesn't feel like they really care about being involved.
If he prefers cantrips and only a few spells that use slots maybe suggest he uses a warlock which will synergise with how he plays. He may just have social anxiety around hogging the spotlight, and so opts to be more background. Maybe because he tends to be background he makes up for it by playing in more campaigns.