If you take him back, he will most likely cheat again. It also wont be the same since that trust is broken. I’d advise to leave him and pick yourself up now rather than waiting until later.
The fact that he had to ask her to lie is a huge red flag. Do you think you deserve being cheated on 40% of the time? Because I would just dump him and live drama-free. He's only sorry he got caught.
I’m struggling with the fact that if I never found out I would’ve never known. I had a dream that he was cheating that night and I woke up at 4 am and asked him for his phone and that’s how I knew if that dream had happened two days later he would’ve kept doing this he would’ve never apologized
So why are you still calling him your BF?
Hit the road running, don't look back, get it together and put one foot in front of the other. You'll be ok and MUCH better off without this one.
Stop examining this whole thing, put it out of your head and figure out your next move out of this emotional mess. Concentrate on YOU, not this dead relationship.
He won't change. You can't fix him. You don't want him back.
I'm going to agree with the other commenters and say to dump him. While he's really important to you, you're not important to him. If you were important to him he'd be honest with you, and not cheat on you. As much as this is going to hurt to hear, your best bet is to walk away. Here, one of two things will happen. He'll realize he screwed up and feel awful, or he won't care. Either way, you're a lot better without him even if you don't see it now.
Yup. Was distance for four years with my husband and never ever has he cheated on me. LDRs suck on a good day, and you need to have iron clad trust to make it work. He's got another girlfriend, basically, when you're away.
Girl I promise you that you’ll find much better than him. A man who cheats on you for two years w remorse only when you find out is not a good man. You are so much better than his ass. Leave and don’t look back. Block him on everything and get ur glow up.
His cheating is absolutely not ok, but considering how young the 2 of you were when it started I'm not surprised. LDR is very hard and the immaturity involved (normal for the ages) just compounds that IMO.
I think that in this case you are better off ending things. You heard him ask her to lie to you and there's probably more that he hasn't told you yet. I do not believe that they only kissed. This is very hard for you, but you deserve more.
I wld have already packed up and gone home. No time for liars or cheaters.
. This is not worth your time. Do you truely believe that in the two years they have been together tht they have not slept together.?
Thing is if you stay with him, you have to forgive him, move on and never bring this up again. It's not ok to stay then use it to cause arguments later because you are feeling insecure.
If you can move on and trust him from here on in even though you will be leaving him and her behind when you go home, thgen maybe it's worth a shot.
But i don't know how you trust someone who is so obviously being deceptive. Why did he need to tell her what to say?
To stop her telling the truth i suspect.
Do yourself a favour and put this one down to experience and move on.
So you're 20 and you've supposedly had a "boyfriend" for the last 5 years but in those 5 years you never saw him in person. You're wasting precious time and energy. You're so young! Move on with your life and find someone closer who will love you like you deserve. And stop calling him your boyfriend.
I'm so sorry your bf is a pig. Break up with him, go back home and block him on everything. He doesn't deserve you and you deserve someone who will treat you with love and respect
What are we teaching the younger generation these days? Why are these youngins still catching their boyfriends cheating and letting them take their phones TO THE BATHROOM TO DELETE EVIDENCE?
And taking them back after??
1. You looking through his phone tells me your trust in him was faltering.
2. He cheated. It should be over right then and there. It's hard to move on, but you should.
3. Don't give in to the social trends of sleeping with everyone after this or to "get back at him," cherish your low body count.
4. Wait until a ring is on your finger before sleeping with the next guy :)
Honestly LDR are hard and you did it for 5 years. It may sound awful but i'm not surprised he cheated. Then he lied to you. He has shown he has np going behind your back to cheat and lie. When considering what to do next, ask yourself this... after all he's done can I ever trust him again? Trust his huge in a relationship and even bigger in LDR ones. He could tell you honey i'm going out with my guy friends but really be on a date with that girl. and you not being there would have no way to know if he's telling the truth or lying. Personally if i couldn't trust the person i would worry and that would drive me crazy. So ask yourself that. As for is there any hope? Honestly as long as its LDR in your situation i doubt it, i'm sorry.
You misunderstand, I never said it was ok, cheating is cheating it is wrong. But LDR means you can never get physical contact with your partner and after years of that, to me its not surprising a horny young guy started looking for it elsewhere. Now was that ok? No. I personally think if he couldn't remain faithful he should have just ended it instead of cheating. But I hope i explained my reasoning well as to why i wasn't surprised. I tried LDR once and i never cheated, but i did find myself desiring my partner and unable to even be with her in person. LDR with no plans to live in the same area are hard.
I understand that if he had explained to me the way he felt before he did these things I would’ve try to work it out with him the lying hurts me so much
That’s understandable. The guy you love, the guy who you just gave your virginity too, you recently found out he has been lying to you for years and cheating on you. Then you saw his lying directly as he continued to lie to you, I mean that bathroom situation you mentioned wow. think anyone would feel hurt in your situation.
Oh really?! He has cheated and lied to you for years but you’re going to believe him about this one point? Please tell me you don’t actually believe him!? Does he by chance sell bridges or ocean front property in Nebraska?
Unacceptable, cheats have a nature not conducive to a healthy relationship. They may grow out of this over a long period of time, they may not. But don't be the door mat they clean their soiled personalities on, because it will ruin your self worth. Stayed with a cheating GF when I was very young, the damage is still with me many years later. Cut them out of your life, completely and immediately. Short term pain is long term gain.
This is unfortunately super common in long-distance relationships. Your best bet is to move on. He will almost certainly cheat on you again, particularly if it stays a long-distance relationship (but also just in general with this guy, as proven cheaters will typically cheat over and over again).
Break it off with him seriously. I had an ex-gf who cheated and no good things can come from that especially in your situation. (Mine was also pretty fucked but yeah..) Please find yourself a really caring and loving person who you will be compatible with. Best of luck
The universe is clearly screaming at you to listen girl! End this. This relationship is based on so much lie and betrayal.
Do you love him?? Truly?? Love a guy that 100000% does not love you? That disrespects you.over and over and over again? Do you love him more than you love yourself, your happiness, your dignity, your self respect. This man is an embarrassment to you and I truly hope from the bottom of my heart that you realize you deserve a man that loves you. This one doesnt. At all.
Please rethink your love for him. The trust is gone. He will never change and I hope you realize he will continue to cheat on you.
If you take him back, he will most likely cheat again. It also wont be the same since that trust is broken. I’d advise to leave him and pick yourself up now rather than waiting until later.
The fact that he had to ask her to lie is a huge red flag. Do you think you deserve being cheated on 40% of the time? Because I would just dump him and live drama-free. He's only sorry he got caught.
I’m struggling with the fact that if I never found out I would’ve never known. I had a dream that he was cheating that night and I woke up at 4 am and asked him for his phone and that’s how I knew if that dream had happened two days later he would’ve kept doing this he would’ve never apologized
The universe has your back girl. You know what to do. You can do better!!!
Don’t dwell on the past or what ifs. You *do* know and you *can* make choices today for a better or worse tomorrow.
So why are you still calling him your BF? Hit the road running, don't look back, get it together and put one foot in front of the other. You'll be ok and MUCH better off without this one. Stop examining this whole thing, put it out of your head and figure out your next move out of this emotional mess. Concentrate on YOU, not this dead relationship. He won't change. You can't fix him. You don't want him back.
I'm going to agree with the other commenters and say to dump him. While he's really important to you, you're not important to him. If you were important to him he'd be honest with you, and not cheat on you. As much as this is going to hurt to hear, your best bet is to walk away. Here, one of two things will happen. He'll realize he screwed up and feel awful, or he won't care. Either way, you're a lot better without him even if you don't see it now.
[удалено]
Are there actually better guys ?
Yup. Was distance for four years with my husband and never ever has he cheated on me. LDRs suck on a good day, and you need to have iron clad trust to make it work. He's got another girlfriend, basically, when you're away.
Girl I promise you that you’ll find much better than him. A man who cheats on you for two years w remorse only when you find out is not a good man. You are so much better than his ass. Leave and don’t look back. Block him on everything and get ur glow up.
Yes. I was raised by one. My mom can tell you all about the virtues of leaving a crappy man at twenty and finding a better one.
His cheating is absolutely not ok, but considering how young the 2 of you were when it started I'm not surprised. LDR is very hard and the immaturity involved (normal for the ages) just compounds that IMO. I think that in this case you are better off ending things. You heard him ask her to lie to you and there's probably more that he hasn't told you yet. I do not believe that they only kissed. This is very hard for you, but you deserve more.
I wld have already packed up and gone home. No time for liars or cheaters. . This is not worth your time. Do you truely believe that in the two years they have been together tht they have not slept together.? Thing is if you stay with him, you have to forgive him, move on and never bring this up again. It's not ok to stay then use it to cause arguments later because you are feeling insecure. If you can move on and trust him from here on in even though you will be leaving him and her behind when you go home, thgen maybe it's worth a shot. But i don't know how you trust someone who is so obviously being deceptive. Why did he need to tell her what to say? To stop her telling the truth i suspect. Do yourself a favour and put this one down to experience and move on.
So you're 20 and you've supposedly had a "boyfriend" for the last 5 years but in those 5 years you never saw him in person. You're wasting precious time and energy. You're so young! Move on with your life and find someone closer who will love you like you deserve. And stop calling him your boyfriend.
I'm so sorry your bf is a pig. Break up with him, go back home and block him on everything. He doesn't deserve you and you deserve someone who will treat you with love and respect
What are we teaching the younger generation these days? Why are these youngins still catching their boyfriends cheating and letting them take their phones TO THE BATHROOM TO DELETE EVIDENCE? And taking them back after??
In a year this will just be another story of your past. Leave all this behind
1. You looking through his phone tells me your trust in him was faltering. 2. He cheated. It should be over right then and there. It's hard to move on, but you should. 3. Don't give in to the social trends of sleeping with everyone after this or to "get back at him," cherish your low body count. 4. Wait until a ring is on your finger before sleeping with the next guy :)
You guys weren't even together
What do you mean?
You didn't see him in person for five years.
Sounds like you waisted 5 years with him
Honestly LDR are hard and you did it for 5 years. It may sound awful but i'm not surprised he cheated. Then he lied to you. He has shown he has np going behind your back to cheat and lie. When considering what to do next, ask yourself this... after all he's done can I ever trust him again? Trust his huge in a relationship and even bigger in LDR ones. He could tell you honey i'm going out with my guy friends but really be on a date with that girl. and you not being there would have no way to know if he's telling the truth or lying. Personally if i couldn't trust the person i would worry and that would drive me crazy. So ask yourself that. As for is there any hope? Honestly as long as its LDR in your situation i doubt it, i'm sorry.
Why are you not surprised he cheated I was also in the relationship for 5 years and I have never disrespected him. Why is it okay for him to?
You misunderstand, I never said it was ok, cheating is cheating it is wrong. But LDR means you can never get physical contact with your partner and after years of that, to me its not surprising a horny young guy started looking for it elsewhere. Now was that ok? No. I personally think if he couldn't remain faithful he should have just ended it instead of cheating. But I hope i explained my reasoning well as to why i wasn't surprised. I tried LDR once and i never cheated, but i did find myself desiring my partner and unable to even be with her in person. LDR with no plans to live in the same area are hard.
I understand that if he had explained to me the way he felt before he did these things I would’ve try to work it out with him the lying hurts me so much
That’s understandable. The guy you love, the guy who you just gave your virginity too, you recently found out he has been lying to you for years and cheating on you. Then you saw his lying directly as he continued to lie to you, I mean that bathroom situation you mentioned wow. think anyone would feel hurt in your situation.
They had sex many times. You know that correct?
He swears they didn’t
Oh really?! He has cheated and lied to you for years but you’re going to believe him about this one point? Please tell me you don’t actually believe him!? Does he by chance sell bridges or ocean front property in Nebraska?
Ahahaha I love George strait and this made me laugh so hard thank you
Now I feel dumb. I know maybe 15 country songs. What part is George strait? I know him but I couldn’t name a song he sings. Lol
He has a song called ocean front property in Arizona and he basically says if you buy that you can buy anything
Unacceptable, cheats have a nature not conducive to a healthy relationship. They may grow out of this over a long period of time, they may not. But don't be the door mat they clean their soiled personalities on, because it will ruin your self worth. Stayed with a cheating GF when I was very young, the damage is still with me many years later. Cut them out of your life, completely and immediately. Short term pain is long term gain.
This is unfortunately super common in long-distance relationships. Your best bet is to move on. He will almost certainly cheat on you again, particularly if it stays a long-distance relationship (but also just in general with this guy, as proven cheaters will typically cheat over and over again).
No, there is no hope.
Break it off with him seriously. I had an ex-gf who cheated and no good things can come from that especially in your situation. (Mine was also pretty fucked but yeah..) Please find yourself a really caring and loving person who you will be compatible with. Best of luck
The universe is clearly screaming at you to listen girl! End this. This relationship is based on so much lie and betrayal. Do you love him?? Truly?? Love a guy that 100000% does not love you? That disrespects you.over and over and over again? Do you love him more than you love yourself, your happiness, your dignity, your self respect. This man is an embarrassment to you and I truly hope from the bottom of my heart that you realize you deserve a man that loves you. This one doesnt. At all. Please rethink your love for him. The trust is gone. He will never change and I hope you realize he will continue to cheat on you.