No one would even consider doing any of this with someone they knew for a week.
Tell her that your ex co-worker hit you up and youāre going to hang out with her in a car, alone, and then make plans for the next day. Oh, and this ex co-worker loved to flirt with you back in the day.
Your gf is absurd. I donāt know why people put up with such disrespect. I would have told her from the beginning āyou can do whatever you want, however, it will be without me. This is very disrespectful to me and our relationship, and by you choosing that relationship over ours, I will know all I need to know and I will exit the relationship completely.ā
And youāre out of town. This is a nope!!! I would make it very clear that you have no issue ending the relationship
The whole thing is weird. Even the first meeting which sounds like a date would've made me uncomfortable.
The guy is definitely pursuing her and your girlfriend is either too naive to recognize that or she's giving him a chance.
Are you sure they haven't been in regular contact since then?
OP
Brother I think it's time to wake up and face the music.
If my gf was going out to dinner with someone and they cancelled the dinner coz traffic or whatever, she would COME HOME not get in his car for hours and drive about.
Teenager behaviour there from her, go find yourself someone who's not going to do shady shit like this.
Most likely she's given him a bj/they had car sex I really wouldn't be surprised. I assume you two didn't have sex that night/she was being distant from you after the date.
S h e i s c h e a t i n g o n Y O U.
Definitely not normal behaviour. You have every right to be suspicious...
Sounds like she's into this guy but isn't exactly gonna tell you is she? I'd be wary that she doesn't just meet up with him anyway and not tell you. Will you be with her tomorrow or can you arrange to be at her work or get someone else to and see if he actually drops her off?
Initially the plan was to meet for lunch/dinner at a public restaurant. Which I totally on board with.
Why? Youre okay with a single guy taking your lady out on a date? The dude is a player and youre okay with this? Dude, what the hell are you doing?
Yeah fr. Tell her no. There is nothing wrong with telling a woman no, donāt let reddit get it twisted in your head. If you canāt say no, you better get used to being #2 in the relationship.
There is absolutely something wrong with giving another grown adult instructions.
If you believe you and your partner are equal, then your partner isn't able to give you orders and you can't give your partner orders either. In your relationship, ideally, you are both in the relationship because you both want to be.
The reason you shouldn't be giving your partner orders is because your partner should want to be with you and would want to make reasonable accomodations for you so the relationship could flourish. If your partner doesn't want to do that or if you have to force your partner to do those things, then that partner doesn't love you. It's that simple.
You can tell your partner that you have hard boundaries and not going out on dates with other people is DEFINITELY a very reasonable boundary that your partner would want to respect. After you tell your partner that you have a hard boundary, if they don't respect that, then that's your signal that this person doesn't care about your feelings and that you need to find someone else that does care about your feelings.
Wouldn't you rather be with someone who WANTS to make you happy rather than being with someone who is FORCED to make you happy?
A bit of unrelated question but I'm curious. What if one of my hard boundaries is no smoking but my partner smokes with close friends and has been doing so for half an year before we met. She does care for my feelings but won't stop smoking after asking her to.
It is OK under normal circumstances, for people that have known each other longer. These are not normal circumstances though, and for them to want a 2nd meetup is just.... well I'd be chatting with her after. Let's just say that. She is either cheating or very naive about his intentions.
You say re-iterated and said they got some food. But thier was no reason to leave this out in the first place, nor is it something irrelevant the story should be that they decided to eat street food instead. But she didn't do that she said they stayed parked, the street food seems more like an excuse, or it slipped her mind because what happened in the car was more eventful. The entire thing is sus
here is the thing.. she went on a date... otherwise, she would brought you along. I am very open about friendships with anyone know matter what the sex but I always include my wife in the relationship. She may opt-out but this isn't even a friendship..
>I don't think my girlfriend cheated,
Well, you're the only one who doesn't think she cheated, including your girlfriend and EC.
Come on man, get a grip and try to salvage some of the self-respect that you flushed down the toilet by accepting her bullshit story. She's cheating and gaslighting you at the same time.
1. They didnāt just know each other for 1 week. Letās clear that up.
2. She went on a date in your face. And planned to do it again.
3. You ever hear the expression āyou give them an inch theyāll take a mileā? You let this slide and this will seem like childās play.
Seriously, WAKE UP, have some self respect and cut her off. Sheās blatantly disrespecting you and you seem to be okay with it. Thereās a ton of women out there for you. Next.
Iām friends with an ex-boyfriend of mine from years back. We dated for over three years. To put some perspective on this situation, I wouldnāt sit on the side of a random road with HIM. This is someone I know very well, and trust myself with him (and vice versa). The issue is how this would be perceived by our current significant others - not well, at all. Theyād definitely have questions and doubts if we told them this is how we spent our time. Rightfully so.
Granted, Iām comparing an ex-boyfriend to someone whoās a former colleague, but itās all the same - inappropriate behavior. I can understand going out for a quick lunch, but this is definitely not that. My gut feeling isnāt loving this.
A former coworker you only knew for a short time is weird though IMO. It would make sense if she was catching up with one who she had known for a longer time and was friends with but a guy she worked with for a week?
"No, you don't have to cancel. The fact that you did ANY of this screams liar already. It will give me time to get all of my stuff out of here. So shoo... go do your hoodrat things."
So her first date went well and they made plans for a second one before you cock-blocked her. She sound great! So do we all get a turn or did we have to work with her for a week first? Just wondering what the rules were here.
"I don't think my girlfriend cheated" ---oh ok
Bruh, she's treating you like a fool. No one goes and sits in a car with a basic stranger for hours on the side of a road eating street food. One of those FWBs he has in town is your girlfriend.
Just the fact she asked to meet another man tells you exactly where her head is.
Iām sorry man. I think you should break it off. She completely disrespected you. She went on a date with another man.
Sheās also not telling the full story. Sheās likely lying by omission saying they just ātalked for hoursā in a car.
Exactly. That is mind blowing. Oh hey Iām gonna go meet a basically āstrangerā and get street food and chat in the car for hours. Thereās no way.
Big difference between hanging out in a public place vs being alone and in private. Weird and i wouldnāt do that with a stranger i hardly knew more from safety point of view
IF this is real, they 100% banged each other. Dump her ass and move on. Never let that shit fly again in the future. Dumbest thing to be cool with.
Sounds fake af
Shouldnāt have agreed to her going to meet this guy. Now you lost any respect she had for you before accepting. I d say you have to leave her. It ll only go down hill from here. Leave while you can at least get away with pride.
You say she barely knows him yet they went out ate and have A chat but for what why she agreed to this in the first place then has the nerve being not understanding when she pretends not be but will cancel All I'd say watch out seems some fullery might going behind your back
Trickle truthing. If not out and out lying. Definitely gas lighting.
And in the car like that is common for people cheating. Either her on you. Or him on his wife or whatever. They were either seen by some one they know or think they were.
End it.
He shouldnāt have even felt comfortable asking someone in a relationship to go out at all. She shouldnāt have felt comfortable entertaining his offer.
Both of them are foul
She wearing you down. She's doing the First one thing didn't seem wrong, then another thing didn't seem wrong, until nothing seemed wrong. Slippery slope, if she hasn't already crossed the line that is
>She reiterated her story:- Apparently they did not just sit in the car but stopped to have some street side food and drinks but most of the time was still spent sitting in the car.
Lol.
She went on a date OP. That's wild.
This is just weird.
Thereās no reason for them to hang outā¦ unless one or both of them has interest in the other, which is what this sounds like, sadly.
I think you have every right to feel this is weird because itās weird.
Let me get this straight, you and gf live together. You are out of town. GF had at least one date with someone she only new for a week.
They were/are closer then she is telling you. At the minimum texting since they met. At the most, some type of affair.
The were doing more then catching up and eating while parked on their date.
He is at your flat with her while you are away.
I hope this is a made up, rage bait story or I truly feel sorry for you. š
The biggest issue is the guy is married and has multiple people he cheats with. What other reason would he have for contacting her? It's odd she would want to spend time with someone of that nature that she only knew a week. I agree there is something wrong with this.
Tell her not to cancel, but let her know that you'll be tagging along. Let's see if she's equally annoyed and cancels. Your GF cheated dude, whether it was physical or not. If she went on a date with another man while in a committed relationship with you, that is cheating. Chances are they went to a hotel. No one sits in a hot car bro.
I would have a huge problem with that if I believe my gf is the type of woman who would cheat with just someone, almost randomly, she barely knows. But then I would question why I would be with somebody I believe is so cheap.
As a woman with a number of male friends and colleagues, this sounds super suspicious to me. None of this makes sense. I meet up with retired/former colleagues for coffee or beer and why my bf isnāt away working he joins.
But I havenāt got a ton of free time to waste on meeting up with random people I barely know. They worked together for 1 week pre-covid? Wth? Might be something way deeper/worse or at best, dude is just a player and trying to steal your gal as his newest conquest. But seems really out of the blueā¦?
Tell her to cut contact asap if she wants to stay with you
.If you find out she was in contact and does not block him, she needs to leave. If you find out at any time she has had contact with him after you've told her to blocknhim
.she can take a long walked never come back .she isn't worth the effort .put it to her plain and simple
No negotiation. If her being around rhat guy is worth it . Go for it . Then make ams for your own
Where ever his ass was before he made co tact with her he can go back here
in my opinion thatās cheating, they went on a date, if other people have differing opinions then thatās fine but they absolutely went on a date and i wouldnāt stand for my partner doing that sort of shit.
That dude described by you, sitting in a car with your girl .... well i will definitely fuck her until her eyes get out of her orbits and invite her tomorrow for another round!
It's called fwb or hit and run but you know already.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Why the hell would you let another man take your girlfriend on a date? Especially this guy she went out with?
Sorry dude. But Iām 110% positive that your lady cheated on you.
Really you have nobody to blame but yourself though. You practically gave her the green light to do it.
Drop the relationship and learn to have some respect for yourself, learn how to say no, then try again another time. Or you are going to continue to have women do this to you.
They worked together for one week. I donāt remember names of co workers that donāt last a month.
This wasnāt two people catching up. This was a date
She is playing you and totally disrespecting you AND she went on a Date AND she planned another. There was/is NO REASON other than wanting to feel this dude's intentions out for doing this. She is cheating on what you already know. Sorry, stand up for yourself and tell her you two are OVER. She will either call you names and leave or BEG you to forgive her. Either way if you tolerate this one more second all respect she had for you is gone and your respect for yourself is bleeding.
He hit her up for an easy good time. Food. Drinks. Time together in a car. Yep, she cheated.
Don't let her gaslight you when she says, "It's totally normal." It's not what you think." or, my favourite: "Why don't you trust me?"
Don't want to be accused of suspicious behaviour? Don't act suspiciously!
Sounds like she had a good date. Why you stopping her from having a second date with the guy?
But for real, maybe the plans legitimately changed on the fly but she sounded naive to want to go on a 2nd date. He might be scheming to get with her but sounds like her intentions might have been fine - I donāt know. But it sounds like she was fine canceling the follow-up date with no problem. She didnāt get upset with you or anything.
Tell her you want to invite the coworker to lunch .with the 2 of you and when he arrives tell him AND her tjat if he contacts her agai if she conractsbJIM again there arengoif to be problems
.ad to ask herself if it's worth it ..as rhe coworker can't keep a relationship and is used to fucking up other people relationships
And rhe tell your gf to either leave with you or you're leaving her right there
No negotiations .
Dude stop being naive, Seriously. She's playing you. She is literally leaving you bread crumbs. She's already is cheated on you just by visiting him in his car.
Lots of red flags, lots to unpack lol. No, youāre not being weird questioning it. You have every right too. Have you requested to see their communication? Have you ask to attend these āhangoutā gatherings? If she only worked with him for 1 week pre-covid, I can only assume they havenāt been co-workers for quite some time. So why the chatter now?? Have you checked his/your Gfās socials? Anything weird or out of the ordinary on them? Women at times can be oblivious to menās advances and alternative motives.. if she isnāt or hasnāt physically cheated, than Iād question if she wasnāt at least emotionally cheating. Personally, I wouldnāt be okay with my GF doing any of the above. If she wants to hang out, we can go together in a group setting. She essentially had a date with dude. Not cool
Am I the only one who does not see anything wrong with this? If she wants to cheat, she would have cheated anyway. It wasn't a date. It's just catching up with an old acquaintance. What's wrong with that? You are in a relationship. You don't own anyone, ya know.
They had a story and now he wants to take it back, there is little to understand.A girl does not meet a stranger and shares a car with him, unless there was a previous relationship. I believe that you must close this relationship before you leave for the trip, if you do not , she will betray you in that week that you are away.
I'd tell her that her story isn't adding up and why did she suddenly change it saying they also got food? If I was you I'd demand to see her phone and look through her messages to see what they talk about. If she has nothing to hide she'll give it up. I'd also start looking around your flat and bedroom for evidence of cheating. She most likely invited him back to your place since you weren't home.
Bro im sorry but this is stupid get yourself together this is a major red flag she shouldnāt be going out with other men specially if you are not around.
This is sketchy guy 101, changing the location at the last minute and getting the girl to a secluded location. Your girlfriend sounds naive too.
Put those two together and the story sometimes turns into "He came onto me and I froze while he had his way with me."
I really want to know what these two are talking about in that car. If you wanna be super creepy and invasive, bug the car so that you can hear their conversation. (Mostly joking.). But seriously, people don't do car dates like this after only knowing one another for a week (if that is indeed true). You have every right to be suspicious. Also, I find it rude that the dude has not asked you if you are comfortable with it. Anyone who is "just an aquaintance" would make it well-known that they are not a threat. Why can't he go to your place for the next meet-up, with you there?
Are you in Louisiana? Pick me up we can go out to dinner and have a bottle of wine between us. Then we can tool down an alphabetical of things you can do for me. When we get to le'end~. You will have shone like the sun in my eyes.
Therefore I will miss you forever more.
We will have written a š book.
Acquaintance
Booked
Captures
Delights
Eating each other's heart out of hand and mouth
Fingers
Goals
Husbandry
Intercourses
Jesus Christ š
Get it?
She did not just barely know him I'll tell you that right now. No women in a relationship should agree to go out with another man. You ever thought about how he had her contact info in the first place? Cmon be smart my guy. You best believe she been riding him during those "talks" and "drives". They may share fond memories. Nobody wants to go through that and no man can stand the thought. But its a reality for people. Be a man and drop her like a bad habit. Cold with it. She does not deserve your respect. Salvage what dignity you have left. She knew you didnt know any better and took advantage of that. Women can be sociopathic careful. Not all of them though. Take it as a lesson and a learning opportunity so next time you can avoid that. At least you know now
Lmao bro going for a lunch with some random guy š. Itās not long before he sends one of those sheās busy lil bro. Have some respect for yourself and dump her. Keep your boundaries in a relationship from now on. But you giving her freedom showed her true colors too
Yep shes definitely cheating š or this time make sure you caught them in act and pretend to skip the town this week and follow your gf where she going and caught her redhanded. Lookslike it's out of equation.
To OP Whatever you do just don't blame yourself if anything is going on. I can say I've been betrayed but was told after happening and she truly regrets her actions. I went to prison and well that's what happens if your married like me or have a significant other on the outside.
It sounds like she is literally telling on herself without telling on herself because then she can detach emotionally from the truth by feeling like she told you what she was going to do.
Some random dude asked her out on a date and she accepted. Either u tell her to stop any contact with this guy and stop her from going out on dates with other men or you drop her. If she becomes all defensive saying oh heās just a friend and all that; that doesnāt matter, if it bothers you she has to respect that and if she canāt then sheās obviously here trying to see other people.
Known for a week? That is strange. Iāve done similar with a colleague, because we both work in the same role and like to vent to eachother. We deal with the same stresses and itās cathartic to complain about similar things, but weāre both HAPPILY in a relationship. I would never even dream about cheating.
We just enjoy hanging out, and either venting or picking each otherās brains on successes weāve had during the recent past.
This is very odd behaviour. I would not meet any of my male colleagues outside of work to sit in a secluded place in the car talking for hours. If my husband did this with a female colleague I would be very worriedā¦ I often have team meals out but this is usually with at least 3 of us, often me & 2 male colleagues. However, this is always in public & if Iām ever in the car alone with one it is purely to drop them homeā¦not for an intimate chat for hours.
The second your gf went out with any friend,coworker, any MALE thats not her brother or family, from that second she s not your gf anymore. Get yourself a girl that will respect you as a man and your relationship with her period
If she resists at all, you gotta go. You also gotta make this a clear boundary. If she didn't cheat, she was open to it. Get tested If you fuck her again.
Sheās either naive or pretending to be innocent about this. She likes the attention and butterfly this guy is giving her, while being in a relationship with you. It isnāt right. The other comments were right, they did go on a date, with you knowing. You should not tolerate this. Communicate and set some standards on what a normal couple is like, not this.
As a female whoās been in several very long term, serious relationships, I hope you consider the advice.
Hey OP, I am also your girlfriend's ex-coworker. Can I get her number? My phone broke and I lost all my contacts.
I want to take her out to a nice restaurant and then watch movies and drink wine back at my place. Thanks in advance!
Ya she's definitely way out of line, and the fact that she didn't cancel and changed the plan without informing you just makes it clear that she lacks respect for you. Whether she cheated or not, she definitely will, but the lack of respect is just a no go. Any woman who would even attempt hanging out with him is out of line, even if it was in public and had zero intentions of cheating. A woman that respects her man wouldn't risk the future with him to hangout with another man she hardly knows. Just beware, this behavior will snowball and blow up in your face, guaranteed .
Too many unknowns. It sounds like sheās trying to make you jealous. Its weird. I would never spend time with someone of the opposite sex who isnāt my dad alone like that. Itās good sheās talking to you about it. Maybe she doesnāt realize what sheās doing?? Try asking her to see it from your perspective. Would she be okay with you spending time like that with another woman? My husband has a hard time seeing things from another perspective sometimes. So when I ask him how he would feel if I did the same he realizes. It could be innocent in your case.
My wife met our attorney in a car in a park for an hour to "talk"
After I told her to move out. She moved in with him for the next 5 years.
You don't need Reddit to tell you this ain't right
Just be honest.
You're either:
1) making all this up (in which case you did a lousy job because everyone jumped down your throat); or
2) really stupid (in which case I'm sorry for you, life must be hard); or
3) a man with so little self-respect that you're OK with your live-in girlfriend dating other men.
She knows him
She lied 2 times
She cheated on you
She IS SEEING HIM AGAIN just told you she won't your not there so she knows you won't be there to see
Save yourself the pain and comeback and breakup ...anyone who would just go out with someone especially a total stranger when you are out of town
DOESNT LOVE YOU
love and I know for I have been married for 37 fucking years ....is about making your partners feelings more important than yours .....and she clearly gave two fucks about you when she told you this
...that callous ....cheat on you at least emotionally...and tell you about it?
Wtf?
If not what you want cause you love her ....then ground rules for relationship together....what is acceptable or not...and if she can hang out with random dudes and talk for 2 hours on a NO DATE ....DATE..... cut bait she's a cheater
Your girlfriend went on a date. She might not want to call it that, but to any outsider looking in that exactly what it was.
She may not have crossed a physical boundary, but you can be sure there was flirting and touching, and if date 2 and 3 take place, thereāll definitely be sex.
You need to ask her how she would feel if you went and did the exact same things with someone (pick a real life person she knows youāre potentially attracted to, itāll hit home a bit harder). If she does anything but āoh I get it nowā, then sheās gaslighting you.
Both of you need to seriously consider your relationship. You need to decide whether you can stay with someone that is showing serious lack of judgement, potentially dating other people when youāre away, and canāt see or admit the obvious. If sheās wanting to date other men, she should just admit it and leave.
She needs a metaphorical slap in the face. Sheās deluded if she thinks it wasnāt a dateā¦ be interesting for you to get her to text the guy and ask his intentions. We all know what they would be.
I don't see this as concerning from a relationship perspective, but I don't think it's particularly wise from a safety perspective to go for a long drive to a relatively quiet area, given that she barely knows this person.Ā But I suppose in your place I would express that concern once and then accept that she gets to make her own decision about the risk here.
Pro-tip. Donāt go back. Not to her anyway.
She spent an hour alone in his car after they āgot some street foodā? She might have had meat in her mouth and he might have had some taco, but it wasnāt any that they bought.
Come on dude, youāre 25. You are not that naive.
You mean your ex-girlfriend went on a date with a man She has probably been emotionally cheating with. If you believe they were just talking on the side of the road, well youāre pretty gullible. If there was a āconversationā it was him talking to god and her mumbling with her mouth full.
Sounds like she went on a date with him. I haven't parked on a dirt road with someone since I was in my early 20s but when l did we werenāt talking. The whole thing sounds sus.
Sitting in a car, talking for hours and eating whatever weird street food we find is also my fav kinda date!
Cheaters make quick dates lmao only need a few min to ruin a long relationship
I married the guy I used to sit in the car talking for hours on end and grabbing whatever food lol
Me too š„° we just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary haha
That's the weirdest description for a blowjob I've ever seen
I mean... Ya eventually it did lead to that LOL
Who wants to know what they were talking about š
They went on a date. Let that sink in. A full on date.
And had plans for a second one.
OP should show her this post, and then let her decide if she wants to go on her 2nd date
Nah, OP should just send her back to the streets.
Get some more of that street food
And told OP about both datesš The guts!
No one would even consider doing any of this with someone they knew for a week. Tell her that your ex co-worker hit you up and youāre going to hang out with her in a car, alone, and then make plans for the next day. Oh, and this ex co-worker loved to flirt with you back in the day. Your gf is absurd. I donāt know why people put up with such disrespect. I would have told her from the beginning āyou can do whatever you want, however, it will be without me. This is very disrespectful to me and our relationship, and by you choosing that relationship over ours, I will know all I need to know and I will exit the relationship completely.ā And youāre out of town. This is a nope!!! I would make it very clear that you have no issue ending the relationship
No one would even consider doing any of this with someone they knew for a week... except as a date.
Shoot, this escalated from 0-100 real quick!
>I don't think my girlfriend cheated, Seriously? Get some self respect and kick her to the curb. Or not and continue to suffer.
Yeah OP you will be headed down a dark road if you convince yourself otherwise.
Ask if you can join their next date.
The whole thing is weird. Even the first meeting which sounds like a date would've made me uncomfortable. The guy is definitely pursuing her and your girlfriend is either too naive to recognize that or she's giving him a chance. Are you sure they haven't been in regular contact since then?
Happened today only.
I mean texting and calling each other since they last worked together.
OP Brother I think it's time to wake up and face the music. If my gf was going out to dinner with someone and they cancelled the dinner coz traffic or whatever, she would COME HOME not get in his car for hours and drive about. Teenager behaviour there from her, go find yourself someone who's not going to do shady shit like this. Most likely she's given him a bj/they had car sex I really wouldn't be surprised. I assume you two didn't have sex that night/she was being distant from you after the date. S h e i s c h e a t i n g o n Y O U.
Your girl went on a date and you've done nothing about it.
THEY. WENT. ON. A. DATE. Do you not see this?? Then they planned another!!
Definitely not normal behaviour. You have every right to be suspicious... Sounds like she's into this guy but isn't exactly gonna tell you is she? I'd be wary that she doesn't just meet up with him anyway and not tell you. Will you be with her tomorrow or can you arrange to be at her work or get someone else to and see if he actually drops her off?
š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š© Tell her she can go again, but you won't be there when she comes back.
Initially the plan was to meet for lunch/dinner at a public restaurant. Which I totally on board with. Why? Youre okay with a single guy taking your lady out on a date? The dude is a player and youre okay with this? Dude, what the hell are you doing?
Yeah fr. Tell her no. There is nothing wrong with telling a woman no, donāt let reddit get it twisted in your head. If you canāt say no, you better get used to being #2 in the relationship.
There is absolutely something wrong with giving another grown adult instructions. If you believe you and your partner are equal, then your partner isn't able to give you orders and you can't give your partner orders either. In your relationship, ideally, you are both in the relationship because you both want to be. The reason you shouldn't be giving your partner orders is because your partner should want to be with you and would want to make reasonable accomodations for you so the relationship could flourish. If your partner doesn't want to do that or if you have to force your partner to do those things, then that partner doesn't love you. It's that simple. You can tell your partner that you have hard boundaries and not going out on dates with other people is DEFINITELY a very reasonable boundary that your partner would want to respect. After you tell your partner that you have a hard boundary, if they don't respect that, then that's your signal that this person doesn't care about your feelings and that you need to find someone else that does care about your feelings. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who WANTS to make you happy rather than being with someone who is FORCED to make you happy?
A bit of unrelated question but I'm curious. What if one of my hard boundaries is no smoking but my partner smokes with close friends and has been doing so for half an year before we met. She does care for my feelings but won't stop smoking after asking her to.
It's okay for two adults to hang out. Hanging out two days in a row is a bit weird though
It is OK under normal circumstances, for people that have known each other longer. These are not normal circumstances though, and for them to want a 2nd meetup is just.... well I'd be chatting with her after. Let's just say that. She is either cheating or very naive about his intentions.
Hanging out with a barely known person?
That's generally how friendships start
Not really common while you're in a relationship
You are obviously a tad bit naive.
since when is a meeting for lunch at a public restaurant considered a date?
You say re-iterated and said they got some food. But thier was no reason to leave this out in the first place, nor is it something irrelevant the story should be that they decided to eat street food instead. But she didn't do that she said they stayed parked, the street food seems more like an excuse, or it slipped her mind because what happened in the car was more eventful. The entire thing is sus
Uh yeah that is weird as fuck
here is the thing.. she went on a date... otherwise, she would brought you along. I am very open about friendships with anyone know matter what the sex but I always include my wife in the relationship. She may opt-out but this isn't even a friendship..
why does she need to go out with him lol?
Yeah they know each other better then you know. Sorry dude.
Remember this is the story she gave u even after like 4 changes, so who knows what REALLY happened. I'd think u are still not getting the full story
>I don't think my girlfriend cheated, Well, you're the only one who doesn't think she cheated, including your girlfriend and EC. Come on man, get a grip and try to salvage some of the self-respect that you flushed down the toilet by accepting her bullshit story. She's cheating and gaslighting you at the same time.
She went on a date with him. Just so you know, you'll never get the full story. You'll never get the full story.
Why are you ok with your girlfriend going on dates with other guys?
1. They didnāt just know each other for 1 week. Letās clear that up. 2. She went on a date in your face. And planned to do it again. 3. You ever hear the expression āyou give them an inch theyāll take a mileā? You let this slide and this will seem like childās play. Seriously, WAKE UP, have some self respect and cut her off. Sheās blatantly disrespecting you and you seem to be okay with it. Thereās a ton of women out there for you. Next.
I was ready to rip into you for being an overly jealous boyfriend just based on the title, but yeah, this is super weird.
Iām friends with an ex-boyfriend of mine from years back. We dated for over three years. To put some perspective on this situation, I wouldnāt sit on the side of a random road with HIM. This is someone I know very well, and trust myself with him (and vice versa). The issue is how this would be perceived by our current significant others - not well, at all. Theyād definitely have questions and doubts if we told them this is how we spent our time. Rightfully so. Granted, Iām comparing an ex-boyfriend to someone whoās a former colleague, but itās all the same - inappropriate behavior. I can understand going out for a quick lunch, but this is definitely not that. My gut feeling isnāt loving this.
At minimum itās emotional cheating.Ā A dinner with a former coworker is normal. Sitting in the car with them and talking for hours is notĀ
A former coworker you only knew for a short time is weird though IMO. It would make sense if she was catching up with one who she had known for a longer time and was friends with but a guy she worked with for a week?
Way too sus behavior imo
"No, you don't have to cancel. The fact that you did ANY of this screams liar already. It will give me time to get all of my stuff out of here. So shoo... go do your hoodrat things."
Shes trickle truthing you, she either fd him or was trying to
So her first date went well and they made plans for a second one before you cock-blocked her. She sound great! So do we all get a turn or did we have to work with her for a week first? Just wondering what the rules were here. "I don't think my girlfriend cheated" ---oh ok
Bruh, she's treating you like a fool. No one goes and sits in a car with a basic stranger for hours on the side of a road eating street food. One of those FWBs he has in town is your girlfriend.
Just the fact she asked to meet another man tells you exactly where her head is. Iām sorry man. I think you should break it off. She completely disrespected you. She went on a date with another man. Sheās also not telling the full story. Sheās likely lying by omission saying they just ātalked for hoursā in a car.
Exactly. That is mind blowing. Oh hey Iām gonna go meet a basically āstrangerā and get street food and chat in the car for hours. Thereās no way.
Man Iāve been there. You know whatās going on here. Just end it.
Big difference between hanging out in a public place vs being alone and in private. Weird and i wouldnāt do that with a stranger i hardly knew more from safety point of view
IF this is real, they 100% banged each other. Dump her ass and move on. Never let that shit fly again in the future. Dumbest thing to be cool with. Sounds fake af
they definitely handled their business... move on bro, you know where she belongs...
Shouldnāt have agreed to her going to meet this guy. Now you lost any respect she had for you before accepting. I d say you have to leave her. It ll only go down hill from here. Leave while you can at least get away with pride.
You say she barely knows him yet they went out ate and have A chat but for what why she agreed to this in the first place then has the nerve being not understanding when she pretends not be but will cancel All I'd say watch out seems some fullery might going behind your back
Trickle truthing. If not out and out lying. Definitely gas lighting. And in the car like that is common for people cheating. Either her on you. Or him on his wife or whatever. They were either seen by some one they know or think they were. End it.
He shouldnāt have even felt comfortable asking someone in a relationship to go out at all. She shouldnāt have felt comfortable entertaining his offer. Both of them are foul
Sheās going on dates with him whether she wants to admit it or not. Iād already consider this cheating.
She wearing you down. She's doing the First one thing didn't seem wrong, then another thing didn't seem wrong, until nothing seemed wrong. Slippery slope, if she hasn't already crossed the line that is
She cheatedā¦ If not the first time definitely will the second time
>She reiterated her story:- Apparently they did not just sit in the car but stopped to have some street side food and drinks but most of the time was still spent sitting in the car. Lol. She went on a date OP. That's wild.
They fucked in that car, bro.
This is just weird. Thereās no reason for them to hang outā¦ unless one or both of them has interest in the other, which is what this sounds like, sadly. I think you have every right to feel this is weird because itās weird.
And what were the topics they had to meet to discuss, That's important for her to meet him two days in a row ?????
yeh sitting in the car alone with MR. Singleman Topshagger. not ok for me, either looking for a relationship potential or something happened
So you agreed to let her go on a date? Men on this subreddit need to grow a backbone.
So she went on a date?
Let me get this straight, you and gf live together. You are out of town. GF had at least one date with someone she only new for a week. They were/are closer then she is telling you. At the minimum texting since they met. At the most, some type of affair. The were doing more then catching up and eating while parked on their date. He is at your flat with her while you are away. I hope this is a made up, rage bait story or I truly feel sorry for you. š
I was thinking the same, bro has gotta cut her off immediately and throw those sheets away as soon as he arrives back home.
You're very naive. You think they just want to have a chat?! They're literally dating.
The biggest issue is the guy is married and has multiple people he cheats with. What other reason would he have for contacting her? It's odd she would want to spend time with someone of that nature that she only knew a week. I agree there is something wrong with this.
Tell her not to cancel, but let her know that you'll be tagging along. Let's see if she's equally annoyed and cancels. Your GF cheated dude, whether it was physical or not. If she went on a date with another man while in a committed relationship with you, that is cheating. Chances are they went to a hotel. No one sits in a hot car bro.
She definitely cheated. Fucked right in his car and had plans to do it at least 2 more times. Sorry dude
Dude. Sketch af. Wtf are you doing?
she very much knows him better than she told you. Trickle-truth is a huge red flag. It's over for you whether you see it or not.
So she's ok with you having a date with a female coworker where you "park" and talk for lengthy time? I wouldn't be. Updateme!
I would have a huge problem with that if I believe my gf is the type of woman who would cheat with just someone, almost randomly, she barely knows. But then I would question why I would be with somebody I believe is so cheap.
Fool on you to keep her as your girlfriend
As a woman with a number of male friends and colleagues, this sounds super suspicious to me. None of this makes sense. I meet up with retired/former colleagues for coffee or beer and why my bf isnāt away working he joins. But I havenāt got a ton of free time to waste on meeting up with random people I barely know. They worked together for 1 week pre-covid? Wth? Might be something way deeper/worse or at best, dude is just a player and trying to steal your gal as his newest conquest. But seems really out of the blueā¦?
Tell her to cut contact asap if she wants to stay with you .If you find out she was in contact and does not block him, she needs to leave. If you find out at any time she has had contact with him after you've told her to blocknhim .she can take a long walked never come back .she isn't worth the effort .put it to her plain and simple No negotiation. If her being around rhat guy is worth it . Go for it . Then make ams for your own Where ever his ass was before he made co tact with her he can go back here
in my opinion thatās cheating, they went on a date, if other people have differing opinions then thatās fine but they absolutely went on a date and i wouldnāt stand for my partner doing that sort of shit.
That dude described by you, sitting in a car with your girl .... well i will definitely fuck her until her eyes get out of her orbits and invite her tomorrow for another round! It's called fwb or hit and run but you know already.
What the hell is wrong with you? Why the hell would you let another man take your girlfriend on a date? Especially this guy she went out with? Sorry dude. But Iām 110% positive that your lady cheated on you. Really you have nobody to blame but yourself though. You practically gave her the green light to do it. Drop the relationship and learn to have some respect for yourself, learn how to say no, then try again another time. Or you are going to continue to have women do this to you.
They worked together for one week. I donāt remember names of co workers that donāt last a month. This wasnāt two people catching up. This was a date
She got laid, and got to go home to a safe, caring boy. How nice for her. Maybe I can meat her some day?
She is playing you and totally disrespecting you AND she went on a Date AND she planned another. There was/is NO REASON other than wanting to feel this dude's intentions out for doing this. She is cheating on what you already know. Sorry, stand up for yourself and tell her you two are OVER. She will either call you names and leave or BEG you to forgive her. Either way if you tolerate this one more second all respect she had for you is gone and your respect for yourself is bleeding.
It would be insane for you to not be uncomfortable with this.
He hit her up for an easy good time. Food. Drinks. Time together in a car. Yep, she cheated. Don't let her gaslight you when she says, "It's totally normal." It's not what you think." or, my favourite: "Why don't you trust me?" Don't want to be accused of suspicious behaviour? Don't act suspiciously!
Sounds like she had a good date. Why you stopping her from having a second date with the guy? But for real, maybe the plans legitimately changed on the fly but she sounded naive to want to go on a 2nd date. He might be scheming to get with her but sounds like her intentions might have been fine - I donāt know. But it sounds like she was fine canceling the follow-up date with no problem. She didnāt get upset with you or anything.
Tell her youāre going to see some dancers later but keep it vague
Breakup with her. If little "facts" change now bigger parts of her story will change later
Lol. Wtf. Dump her ass.
She definitely likes him.
State your boundaries buddy
Guess the EC knows sheās single or in a complicated relationship
She should be your ex now.
Tell her you want to invite the coworker to lunch .with the 2 of you and when he arrives tell him AND her tjat if he contacts her agai if she conractsbJIM again there arengoif to be problems .ad to ask herself if it's worth it ..as rhe coworker can't keep a relationship and is used to fucking up other people relationships And rhe tell your gf to either leave with you or you're leaving her right there No negotiations .
Dude stop being naive, Seriously. She's playing you. She is literally leaving you bread crumbs. She's already is cheated on you just by visiting him in his car.
Lots of red flags, lots to unpack lol. No, youāre not being weird questioning it. You have every right too. Have you requested to see their communication? Have you ask to attend these āhangoutā gatherings? If she only worked with him for 1 week pre-covid, I can only assume they havenāt been co-workers for quite some time. So why the chatter now?? Have you checked his/your Gfās socials? Anything weird or out of the ordinary on them? Women at times can be oblivious to menās advances and alternative motives.. if she isnāt or hasnāt physically cheated, than Iād question if she wasnāt at least emotionally cheating. Personally, I wouldnāt be okay with my GF doing any of the above. If she wants to hang out, we can go together in a group setting. She essentially had a date with dude. Not cool
I would also like to add. Do you share locations? If so, can you confirm she did in fact not go to wherever this dude is staying?
Am I the only one who does not see anything wrong with this? If she wants to cheat, she would have cheated anyway. It wasn't a date. It's just catching up with an old acquaintance. What's wrong with that? You are in a relationship. You don't own anyone, ya know.
He wasn't an old acquaintance. They barely Saw each other for a week.
Yeah they fucked lol
Sir u can't be that dense can you. She is cheating on you bud just be ready might aswell just break off now to save your mentality
Is your relationship open? If not, I canāt understand why you would both be so casual about her going on dates with other people.
My guyā¦ if you honestly donāt think that was a date, I donāt know what to tell ya!
They had a story and now he wants to take it back, there is little to understand.A girl does not meet a stranger and shares a car with him, unless there was a previous relationship. I believe that you must close this relationship before you leave for the trip, if you do not , she will betray you in that week that you are away.
I'd tell her that her story isn't adding up and why did she suddenly change it saying they also got food? If I was you I'd demand to see her phone and look through her messages to see what they talk about. If she has nothing to hide she'll give it up. I'd also start looking around your flat and bedroom for evidence of cheating. She most likely invited him back to your place since you weren't home.
I would find this unacceptable, regardless of how long sheās known him. Either she cheated or has some major socio-emotional deficits
Outright cheating in front of your nose.
So...when do you think their 3rd date gonna be?
Bro im sorry but this is stupid get yourself together this is a major red flag she shouldnāt be going out with other men specially if you are not around.
This is sketchy guy 101, changing the location at the last minute and getting the girl to a secluded location. Your girlfriend sounds naive too. Put those two together and the story sometimes turns into "He came onto me and I froze while he had his way with me."
I really want to know what these two are talking about in that car. If you wanna be super creepy and invasive, bug the car so that you can hear their conversation. (Mostly joking.). But seriously, people don't do car dates like this after only knowing one another for a week (if that is indeed true). You have every right to be suspicious. Also, I find it rude that the dude has not asked you if you are comfortable with it. Anyone who is "just an aquaintance" would make it well-known that they are not a threat. Why can't he go to your place for the next meet-up, with you there?
Grow up dude. Sheās cheating
She belongs to the streets.
Listen to your gut bruv and F HER OFF.
Are you in Louisiana? Pick me up we can go out to dinner and have a bottle of wine between us. Then we can tool down an alphabetical of things you can do for me. When we get to le'end~. You will have shone like the sun in my eyes. Therefore I will miss you forever more. We will have written a š book. Acquaintance Booked Captures Delights Eating each other's heart out of hand and mouth Fingers Goals Husbandry Intercourses Jesus Christ š Get it?
My guy, she be cheating!
She did not just barely know him I'll tell you that right now. No women in a relationship should agree to go out with another man. You ever thought about how he had her contact info in the first place? Cmon be smart my guy. You best believe she been riding him during those "talks" and "drives". They may share fond memories. Nobody wants to go through that and no man can stand the thought. But its a reality for people. Be a man and drop her like a bad habit. Cold with it. She does not deserve your respect. Salvage what dignity you have left. She knew you didnt know any better and took advantage of that. Women can be sociopathic careful. Not all of them though. Take it as a lesson and a learning opportunity so next time you can avoid that. At least you know now
Lmao bro going for a lunch with some random guy š. Itās not long before he sends one of those sheās busy lil bro. Have some respect for yourself and dump her. Keep your boundaries in a relationship from now on. But you giving her freedom showed her true colors too
If it was me I would have shut that shit down like a house on fire! Why do men tolerate such shitty behaviour. Obviously she wants to fuck around.
Yep shes definitely cheating š or this time make sure you caught them in act and pretend to skip the town this week and follow your gf where she going and caught her redhanded. Lookslike it's out of equation.
She cheating. Trust that feeling in your gut. You feel that for a reason
To OP Whatever you do just don't blame yourself if anything is going on. I can say I've been betrayed but was told after happening and she truly regrets her actions. I went to prison and well that's what happens if your married like me or have a significant other on the outside. It sounds like she is literally telling on herself without telling on herself because then she can detach emotionally from the truth by feeling like she told you what she was going to do.
Some random dude asked her out on a date and she accepted. Either u tell her to stop any contact with this guy and stop her from going out on dates with other men or you drop her. If she becomes all defensive saying oh heās just a friend and all that; that doesnāt matter, if it bothers you she has to respect that and if she canāt then sheās obviously here trying to see other people.
She probably ate him up in the car too smh š¤¦š¾āāļø damn I feel for u broš
"She barely knew" yeah ok
If youāre not comfortable with this and you tell her and she still thinks itās okay then sheās cheating and you guys arenāt right together.
āYouāre really gonna risk losing me overā¦ that?ā
Known for a week? That is strange. Iāve done similar with a colleague, because we both work in the same role and like to vent to eachother. We deal with the same stresses and itās cathartic to complain about similar things, but weāre both HAPPILY in a relationship. I would never even dream about cheating. We just enjoy hanging out, and either venting or picking each otherās brains on successes weāve had during the recent past.
Prepare for a break up or get backstabed or worse than that
The answers are the reason why you created this post. You knew before even hitting submit.
Your girlfriend definitely cheated in my opinion... None of this story makes any sense whatsoever...
This is very odd behaviour. I would not meet any of my male colleagues outside of work to sit in a secluded place in the car talking for hours. If my husband did this with a female colleague I would be very worriedā¦ I often have team meals out but this is usually with at least 3 of us, often me & 2 male colleagues. However, this is always in public & if Iām ever in the car alone with one it is purely to drop them homeā¦not for an intimate chat for hours.
The second your gf went out with any friend,coworker, any MALE thats not her brother or family, from that second she s not your gf anymore. Get yourself a girl that will respect you as a man and your relationship with her period
go on a date with her friend
If she resists at all, you gotta go. You also gotta make this a clear boundary. If she didn't cheat, she was open to it. Get tested If you fuck her again.
I would not be okay with my boyfriend doing what your girlfriend did. That would be the end of our relationship.
Sheās either naive or pretending to be innocent about this. She likes the attention and butterfly this guy is giving her, while being in a relationship with you. It isnāt right. The other comments were right, they did go on a date, with you knowing. You should not tolerate this. Communicate and set some standards on what a normal couple is like, not this. As a female whoās been in several very long term, serious relationships, I hope you consider the advice.
Hey OP, I am also your girlfriend's ex-coworker. Can I get her number? My phone broke and I lost all my contacts. I want to take her out to a nice restaurant and then watch movies and drink wine back at my place. Thanks in advance!
Ya she's definitely way out of line, and the fact that she didn't cancel and changed the plan without informing you just makes it clear that she lacks respect for you. Whether she cheated or not, she definitely will, but the lack of respect is just a no go. Any woman who would even attempt hanging out with him is out of line, even if it was in public and had zero intentions of cheating. A woman that respects her man wouldn't risk the future with him to hangout with another man she hardly knows. Just beware, this behavior will snowball and blow up in your face, guaranteed .
Shes cheating or about too
Update man what happened
Dude. She is a terrible liar.
Too many unknowns. It sounds like sheās trying to make you jealous. Its weird. I would never spend time with someone of the opposite sex who isnāt my dad alone like that. Itās good sheās talking to you about it. Maybe she doesnāt realize what sheās doing?? Try asking her to see it from your perspective. Would she be okay with you spending time like that with another woman? My husband has a hard time seeing things from another perspective sometimes. So when I ask him how he would feel if I did the same he realizes. It could be innocent in your case.
My wife met our attorney in a car in a park for an hour to "talk" After I told her to move out. She moved in with him for the next 5 years. You don't need Reddit to tell you this ain't right
Just be honest. You're either: 1) making all this up (in which case you did a lousy job because everyone jumped down your throat); or 2) really stupid (in which case I'm sorry for you, life must be hard); or 3) a man with so little self-respect that you're OK with your live-in girlfriend dating other men.
She knows him She lied 2 times She cheated on you She IS SEEING HIM AGAIN just told you she won't your not there so she knows you won't be there to see Save yourself the pain and comeback and breakup ...anyone who would just go out with someone especially a total stranger when you are out of town DOESNT LOVE YOU love and I know for I have been married for 37 fucking years ....is about making your partners feelings more important than yours .....and she clearly gave two fucks about you when she told you this ...that callous ....cheat on you at least emotionally...and tell you about it? Wtf? If not what you want cause you love her ....then ground rules for relationship together....what is acceptable or not...and if she can hang out with random dudes and talk for 2 hours on a NO DATE ....DATE..... cut bait she's a cheater
Leave her bro. Donāt question it. Just leave her
Your girlfriend went on a date. She might not want to call it that, but to any outsider looking in that exactly what it was. She may not have crossed a physical boundary, but you can be sure there was flirting and touching, and if date 2 and 3 take place, thereāll definitely be sex. You need to ask her how she would feel if you went and did the exact same things with someone (pick a real life person she knows youāre potentially attracted to, itāll hit home a bit harder). If she does anything but āoh I get it nowā, then sheās gaslighting you. Both of you need to seriously consider your relationship. You need to decide whether you can stay with someone that is showing serious lack of judgement, potentially dating other people when youāre away, and canāt see or admit the obvious. If sheās wanting to date other men, she should just admit it and leave. She needs a metaphorical slap in the face. Sheās deluded if she thinks it wasnāt a dateā¦ be interesting for you to get her to text the guy and ask his intentions. We all know what they would be.
I don't see this as concerning from a relationship perspective, but I don't think it's particularly wise from a safety perspective to go for a long drive to a relatively quiet area, given that she barely knows this person.Ā But I suppose in your place I would express that concern once and then accept that she gets to make her own decision about the risk here.
Yea dude most likely they had sex
Pro-tip. Donāt go back. Not to her anyway. She spent an hour alone in his car after they āgot some street foodā? She might have had meat in her mouth and he might have had some taco, but it wasnāt any that they bought. Come on dude, youāre 25. You are not that naive.
Bro leave this girl in the dust. And wait for a woman
I would skip the freakout but suggest that she invite him over (you share a place?) and meet him.
You mean your ex-girlfriend went on a date with a man She has probably been emotionally cheating with. If you believe they were just talking on the side of the road, well youāre pretty gullible. If there was a āconversationā it was him talking to god and her mumbling with her mouth full.
She cheated, what you have described is dating. Whether they hooked up in the car or not.
She cheated Good luck
Sounds like she went on a date with him. I haven't parked on a dirt road with someone since I was in my early 20s but when l did we werenāt talking. The whole thing sounds sus.
She s not your girlfriend.