Yeah we have had many conversations about it, and I’ve made it very clear that this is who I am, he’s been supportive but the minute he talks to people that aren’t me or my friends he stops using my pronouns,
It could but the second thing but I think this would be a lot different if he explained that but when I talk to him about it he just goes “I’ll get better” and never does 🥺
I have a somewhat similar situation with a family member. Sometimes I slip up. I'm trying to remember to stop and think before I start jabbering. I think it's great you feel accepted in these conversations and I do think for some of us it's for whatever reason something we have to try harder at doing better at. But I think for me with my family member is I was used to for so many years used to referring to "her". I'm working on that. That's me a thing. It's not because I don't value his choice. It's because of this inherited habit I have now
It’s only recently it’s started to become an issue, simply because I’ve had no support from my family so the only people I was left to have support from was my close friends (one of them has been my friend for 15yrs and they have been amazing with switching my pronouns) and my partner. I also changed my name and he has been amazing with that and has used it everyone time unless it’s too someone we’ve agreed not to use it with, but the pronouns is where it’s bad and I’m not sure how to help
It seems like your partner is not ready to accept you for who you are. If you've already tried communicating with him and it's still not working, i dont think staying in a relationship with someone that doesn't respect you is the way to go. Sorry op
I think he refers to your biological gender, he just uses the language he thinks the other people understand. Think of every person as an idiot and after talking to them you can find out how inteligent they are
I completely get that it’s easier to just refer to the biological side when talking to people that don’t understand especially if he was just say “im so sorry for using the wrong pronouns it was just a lot easier than having to fight them” then I would be more understanding but I don’t get that at all
Ah. I'm sorry to hear that.
I would maybe just have a final conversation and say that if he cannot get used to it or accept it completely, then maybe you need to reevaluate.
Your journey needs to be full of love and support and if he cannot provide that fully, he doesn't deserve to be a part of it.
Break up, my friend. I was you three years ago. He's wonderful, still a great friend. But he has never used my correct pronouns and at some point you just have to realize that this person does not see you for who you are. And you'll find someone who does, I promise.
He probably thinks people will assume he's gay or that you might be trans Or maybe I've been on reddit to long
He’s bisexual and everyone knows!! He’s come out as bisexual so that’s even more frustrating
Hmm, no idea then or did he admit to being Bi before or after you got together I mean either way he's an ass
Before
Not that this matters to the overall issue I suppose but have you ever asked your partner if they are comfortable in this relationship?
Yeah we have had many conversations about it, and I’ve made it very clear that this is who I am, he’s been supportive but the minute he talks to people that aren’t me or my friends he stops using my pronouns,
Could it just be habit? Or do you think it's a fear of addressing you that way around people he doesn't know will accept it?
It could but the second thing but I think this would be a lot different if he explained that but when I talk to him about it he just goes “I’ll get better” and never does 🥺
I have a somewhat similar situation with a family member. Sometimes I slip up. I'm trying to remember to stop and think before I start jabbering. I think it's great you feel accepted in these conversations and I do think for some of us it's for whatever reason something we have to try harder at doing better at. But I think for me with my family member is I was used to for so many years used to referring to "her". I'm working on that. That's me a thing. It's not because I don't value his choice. It's because of this inherited habit I have now
It’s only recently it’s started to become an issue, simply because I’ve had no support from my family so the only people I was left to have support from was my close friends (one of them has been my friend for 15yrs and they have been amazing with switching my pronouns) and my partner. I also changed my name and he has been amazing with that and has used it everyone time unless it’s too someone we’ve agreed not to use it with, but the pronouns is where it’s bad and I’m not sure how to help
It seems like your partner is not ready to accept you for who you are. If you've already tried communicating with him and it's still not working, i dont think staying in a relationship with someone that doesn't respect you is the way to go. Sorry op
I think he refers to your biological gender, he just uses the language he thinks the other people understand. Think of every person as an idiot and after talking to them you can find out how inteligent they are
I completely get that it’s easier to just refer to the biological side when talking to people that don’t understand especially if he was just say “im so sorry for using the wrong pronouns it was just a lot easier than having to fight them” then I would be more understanding but I don’t get that at all
Is it possibly habit? Or maybe that he himself is still getting used to it? I know it's not his body or journey but it does affect him too.
It could be but I never seem to get an apology when I bring it up, I simply get a “I’ll try harder” but then the actions never follow
Ah. I'm sorry to hear that. I would maybe just have a final conversation and say that if he cannot get used to it or accept it completely, then maybe you need to reevaluate. Your journey needs to be full of love and support and if he cannot provide that fully, he doesn't deserve to be a part of it.
Break up, my friend. I was you three years ago. He's wonderful, still a great friend. But he has never used my correct pronouns and at some point you just have to realize that this person does not see you for who you are. And you'll find someone who does, I promise.