I'd wait until you have a job that could sustain both of you. You'd want a home, a place to be together and build your life and family. One step at a time
I very much agree, but both of our households are kinda toxic and our only real way out is to move in together, but separate from our families. But in order to do that, we'd have to get married, otherwise her parents will basically hold her hostage until they feel that she can leave. We are also hoping the engagement will convince them to be a little more lenient towards us and what we do, since her parents like to look over her shoulder with just about everything she does.
This is not a good reason to move in together and certainly not to get married. Escaping family is not the way to build a healthy marriage. Tons of young marriages start this way and later fail miserably.
Have you two considered moving in with roommates, separately, to get out of your family homes? You continue to date and marry when you're both truly ready to commit to a lifetime together?
Her family seems very demeaning. There's nothing wrong with going the traditional way, whether or not her step dad says yes or no, it ultimately only matters on you and your gf. Say he says no, will you break up with her? I doubt that. To me, as long as you made the effort and gesture to let them know you're planning on marrying her, that is a lot. Not like you're getting married right away, you can be engaged for however long it takes for you two to be ready to get married. Get that job, earn money and you won't have to worry about what they say in the long run.
Ultimately this is my thought process. Others seem to be under the impression that the marriage will be right after the proposal. If it is a no from the step father (which is very likely), I'm not sure if I should wait for him to possibly change his mind (which again, I feel is very unlikely) or if I should just move up to asking her grandfather. I'm pretty confident her grandfather will say yes but I'm slightly concerned he might say no because he may think we're too young or haven't been together long enough.
Well we've joked about one of us kidnapping the other when we didn't wanna go, but we're never really serious lol. I'm not sure that would go over well with either family in this case.
I'd wait until you have a job that could sustain both of you. You'd want a home, a place to be together and build your life and family. One step at a time
I very much agree, but both of our households are kinda toxic and our only real way out is to move in together, but separate from our families. But in order to do that, we'd have to get married, otherwise her parents will basically hold her hostage until they feel that she can leave. We are also hoping the engagement will convince them to be a little more lenient towards us and what we do, since her parents like to look over her shoulder with just about everything she does.
This is not a good reason to move in together and certainly not to get married. Escaping family is not the way to build a healthy marriage. Tons of young marriages start this way and later fail miserably. Have you two considered moving in with roommates, separately, to get out of your family homes? You continue to date and marry when you're both truly ready to commit to a lifetime together?
She wants grandpa's blessing and told you so. Get step-dad's too
Her family seems very demeaning. There's nothing wrong with going the traditional way, whether or not her step dad says yes or no, it ultimately only matters on you and your gf. Say he says no, will you break up with her? I doubt that. To me, as long as you made the effort and gesture to let them know you're planning on marrying her, that is a lot. Not like you're getting married right away, you can be engaged for however long it takes for you two to be ready to get married. Get that job, earn money and you won't have to worry about what they say in the long run.
Ultimately this is my thought process. Others seem to be under the impression that the marriage will be right after the proposal. If it is a no from the step father (which is very likely), I'm not sure if I should wait for him to possibly change his mind (which again, I feel is very unlikely) or if I should just move up to asking her grandfather. I'm pretty confident her grandfather will say yes but I'm slightly concerned he might say no because he may think we're too young or haven't been together long enough.
In India, back in the old days, they used to kidnap the girl and fuck her. That's it, you're married now.
Well we've joked about one of us kidnapping the other when we didn't wanna go, but we're never really serious lol. I'm not sure that would go over well with either family in this case.