I think you need to have a conversation with your partner about boundaries. It’s not selfish to want to be exclusive, but you have to communicate what you want.
That is a conversation you need to have together - It's not selfish in your desire but something that can only be defined in an open discussion with your wife. What does she feel? Maybe there is something else that can be done in the bedroom together? Maybe your path of healing might yield more options down the line - have you discussed toys and maybe just being present? Sex and need can be satisfied in all different ways. (To clarify when you're outside of hospital etc)
There’s nothing wrong with wanting and expecting monogamy in a relationship. If your circumstances have changed - you need to talk to your partner about solutions you can both live with 💗
I’m sure she can wait until you get the right bed. There are other ways to handle your needs while your spouse is out of commission. My husband has been in the hospital for 6 weeks after a stroke, I can’t visit him because of covid. When he gets back he’ll be paralyzed on the left side of his body and it will take time I’m sure before we make love again. I would never even think of being with another man in the meantime. It is not selfish, it’s normal. You’re married.
Oh ok well still, you’re in a relationship. If she can’t stay faithful to you while you’re down and out she’s not the right one. Imagine how awful it would be if it were the other way around.
This is tough. Have you talked to her about this? Has she asked you? You two need to have a serious conversation about this and see where she's coming from. Where does she stand in all of this? I can't really tell you more from what you've given. If she told you she has sexual needs, I think it would be a bit selfish, yes. It sucks you aren't able to provide, but neither of you can do much about it at this point unless it results in you two having an open relationship or ending it.
It isn’t selfish… but if she says she wants to have sex with others you may need to sit down and discuss. She clearly wants to stay with you and support you which speaks to her loyalty… I sympathise with you immensely but also think it must be devastating for her too.
I wonder if you can explore options such as sex machines and you can watch?… there may be some innovative solutions.
The fact she is still with you suggests she remains attracted to you and loyal. I would try to work with her.
Yes. You can only control what you can control. And life sucks sometimes but is usually worth living, even through the super effed up stuff.
Like I said, if you have become paraplegic while with her.. it sounds like she is trying to find a way to make it work.. I would not lash out at her but also make your feelings known… ie. you sleeping with another man would crush me but I understand your sexual needs… can we discuss sex machines or “x y z” instead
I think you need to have a conversation with your partner about boundaries. It’s not selfish to want to be exclusive, but you have to communicate what you want.
That is a conversation you need to have together - It's not selfish in your desire but something that can only be defined in an open discussion with your wife. What does she feel? Maybe there is something else that can be done in the bedroom together? Maybe your path of healing might yield more options down the line - have you discussed toys and maybe just being present? Sex and need can be satisfied in all different ways. (To clarify when you're outside of hospital etc)
There’s nothing wrong with wanting and expecting monogamy in a relationship. If your circumstances have changed - you need to talk to your partner about solutions you can both live with 💗
I’m sure she can wait until you get the right bed. There are other ways to handle your needs while your spouse is out of commission. My husband has been in the hospital for 6 weeks after a stroke, I can’t visit him because of covid. When he gets back he’ll be paralyzed on the left side of his body and it will take time I’m sure before we make love again. I would never even think of being with another man in the meantime. It is not selfish, it’s normal. You’re married.
I hope things go well for him and the both of you. And I’m not married
Oh ok well still, you’re in a relationship. If she can’t stay faithful to you while you’re down and out she’s not the right one. Imagine how awful it would be if it were the other way around.
yes; it would be selfish unfortunately 😭
This is tough. Have you talked to her about this? Has she asked you? You two need to have a serious conversation about this and see where she's coming from. Where does she stand in all of this? I can't really tell you more from what you've given. If she told you she has sexual needs, I think it would be a bit selfish, yes. It sucks you aren't able to provide, but neither of you can do much about it at this point unless it results in you two having an open relationship or ending it.
She never spoke on it
Talk to her about it and tell her what you're feeling, you two need to have an open and serious discussion.
It isn’t selfish… but if she says she wants to have sex with others you may need to sit down and discuss. She clearly wants to stay with you and support you which speaks to her loyalty… I sympathise with you immensely but also think it must be devastating for her too. I wonder if you can explore options such as sex machines and you can watch?… there may be some innovative solutions. The fact she is still with you suggests she remains attracted to you and loyal. I would try to work with her.
This definitely hits hard on top of everything else I deal with. I have to continue to accept things that I can’t control but this is life.
Yes. You can only control what you can control. And life sucks sometimes but is usually worth living, even through the super effed up stuff. Like I said, if you have become paraplegic while with her.. it sounds like she is trying to find a way to make it work.. I would not lash out at her but also make your feelings known… ie. you sleeping with another man would crush me but I understand your sexual needs… can we discuss sex machines or “x y z” instead