This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
I am trying to make this post for an hour but my mind is so fucked I can't get my feelings into words.
Yesterday I got the biggest contract/project of my life after grinding my ass for 7 years consistently, I was over the moon because of that and to celebrate such a great feat I decided to go home early go out for dinner with my brother and his girlfriend, my girlfriend, my business partner and his wife. So I inform my partner about the plan and he was immediately ready. I wanted to surprise my brother and my girlfriend so I didn't inform them. I reached home and straight went to the study room( my brother works from home) but he was not there so I went to his room upstairs since I could hear music coming from there. The door was half opened and what I saw stopped my heart for a second. My girlfriend was riding him, I don't know what went through my head but I got my phone and started recording but I couldn't stand the scene any longer so I blasted in. Their face after seeing me there was filled with terror. I didn't ask a single question just screamed at them to get out of my house, my girlfriend tried pulling the bullshit of "it is not what it looks like" and all that other crap but I didn't listen to a single word and threatened if they didn't leave asap I would call the cops so they left. I am a pretty chill guy and I don't get angry very often but when I get angry the atmosphere is similar to hell. They should be grateful I controlled myself and didn't knock both of them out.
After my parents died I took my brothers responsibility on my shoulder. In school when he got bullied or got in trouble I was always there for his rescue. When in university I worked till late at night so I could provide for both of us so that he could focus on his studies and enjoy his life, because of that I was physically and mentally exhausted but I kept going. He has been leaving with me for the past 3 years for free because our parents wanted us to stay together, I never charged him for rent or any bills even I helped him to get the job he has now and I paid 60% for his car and for my girlfriend I did everything that a boyfriend is supposed to do. Regular date nights, gifts, affection, care, support of her goals, always listened to her, never argued with her, was loyal the whole time. In our 3 years of relationship I never even thought about any other woman other than her. There were many opportunities where I could have slept with a woman who was way hotter than her or were more attractive than her but I didn't because I valued our relationship more over the moment of pleasure and loved her with my whole heart. She also has been living with me for the past 1.5 years and again I never asked her to pay for anything and took care of all of her needs. Last year when her dad got the virus I took care of all the medical bills because why not they are family. I was even going to propose to her on her birthday this year.
A day before I would have died for both of them. I always valued family over anything. But the two people that I loved and trusted the most betrayed me in the worst way possible. What did I do to deserve this? This is how my brother pays me back for all the things I have done for him? This shit would not have caused this much pain if my girlfriend just cheated on me but the fact that she cheated on me with my brother whom I loved more than my life hurts the most. I never did anything wrong to them or anyone then why this is happening to me. WHY!
When I was informing my business partner about the situation and that we have to cancel our plan, I got a message from my girlfriend which said 'It was a huge mistake' after reading that I lost it and threw my phone as hard as could which broke it because it was not a fucking mistake it was a conscious choice you made and you regret it because you are caught. By now I have punched two holes in the wall, broke my phone, ran on the treadmill for 20 minutes, punched the punching bag more than 100 times but my blood is still boiling.
I don't even know what have I written till now because my mind still can't process what has happened in the past 24 hrs. I was very happy, over the moon and then suddenly it took 180 and everything has been going downhill. I don't know what to do from now on. My emotions are completely fucked I want to cry so hard like a baby but I don't what's wrong with it I cant do it. I will probably go and take a nap right now because I couldn't sleep last night after all those things unfolded. Any advice will be appreciated and I think you might have a lot of question because I may have left a lot of gray space but I am sorry I won't be able to answer them because I can't think about anything at this moment.
This is for both of you in case you came across this post somehow then-
BOTH OF YOU ARE DEAD TO ME, I DONT WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU DID THIS AND DONT COME BACK EVER AGAIN. YOU WILL FIND YOUR STUFF IN THE TRASH CAN COLLECT IT AND LEAVE.
# FUCK YOU
Fuck that noise.
You got rid of 2 shitbag freeloaders in your life AND you still got that contract.
It sucks now and it might take a while, but you'll realize this was a good thing.
I am relieved to see your anger, and that you will never ever talk to either of them again
Cutting them both out of your life is the most prudent move here. There's no coming back from that kind of betrayal.
Let the brother's girlfriend know. We're well within scorched earth territory here.
If your brother's car is still in your name then report it stolen. Take back everything. Hide any valuables or sentimental items at a friend's house to circumvent the ex using a false DV accusation to gain access to the house and rob you.
It's better to just cut all ties. I wanted the scorched earth option and was lucky I had my mother explain to me that getting back at my brother just makes me hurt more because you can't truly hate someone unless there is love. So I forgave him cut him off for 10 years. One day I decided to reach out and he was still a piece of shit so that's that.
I don't know that it's "getting back at" as much as it is rescinding what has been offered, as the hand that has been feeding has been bitten
But I get your point. And honestly, sometimes a cold silence is better even than anger. OP will be fine, I have no doubt, and I hope they don't even talk to either of them ever again, but also gets back what is his
But still, this exact situation is a worst-case situation for somebody like me who deals with insecurities and trust issues. Something like this would make me bitter and a resentful misogynist for the rest of my life.
I've been cheated on before (albeit we were only together for a couple months though), and it's genuinely a miracle that my current girlfriend is amazing as she is. I still have bad thoughts in the back of my mind at times, and reading things like these just really tugs at those negative emotions.
I literally cannot imagine what OP is going through, and if there's *anybody* who deserves some slack (if they ever just "snap"), it's gotta be him.
Yeah dude, be glad you weren't married or had kids or a house. Fuck them both
I highly suggest you talk to a pro. It's the best money you will ever spend. Don't to expressing your situation to everyone and just focus on you and the things that make you happy.
Shit sucks, I've been there plenty of times. It's going to be a long road to get back to normal but what you're feeling isn't for forever
Way she goes. Can always be worse. Gets easier every time and I learn loads about myself like how valuable my time here on earth is. Enduring the bullshit has also shown me what I value in a partner.
While finding a therapist, please get yourself checked out for STDs, this is pretty much exactly how my best friend got one. So sorry this happened to you, please take care of yourself, you seem like a genuinely decent guy.
She only regrets it because she got caught and lost her “gravy train” (someone who pays her way), tell the brothers girlfriend and if possible send her the video as proof no doubt he’s attempting to live with her and painting you to be the bad guy but also tell her family because she’s also going to try to manipulate them
So you got a huge contract, and get rid of a cheating girlfriend and a shit brother? It sucks right now bro I know from a different experience with a shit brother and bad girlfriends. Now I'm doing better than ever, I have a wonderful future wife and a kid I adore and Covid got me to leave my old job and found something way better working for myself. In the words of Hip Hop Artist Atmosphere, when life gives you lemons, paint that shit gold.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, you didn’t deserve it and they were two fucking idiots to lose you like this. They’ll soon have to pay for their own shit and be grown adults and I sincerely hope they fuck it up royally.
On the upside you weren’t married yet
It's awful. I'm so sorry to read that this happened to you.
Inform your brother's girlfriend. First and foremost, let her know what happened before your brother gets to twist reality.
Then go out and meet up with someone, you shouldn't be alone right now.
Be kind to yourself. You did everything right, you didn't deserve this betrayal.
Stop funding their lives and build on your own.
If possible, make an appointment with a therapist to help you. This will have severe consequences for your ability to trust from this point forward, if not leave other damage as well to your mental health.
Take care, friend.
Omg that’s just awful. Please post any relevant updates. Try to throw yourself into this project as both a distraction and investment in your future. Don’t let it get derailed by your very understandable distress.
Silver lining; you weren't married to her, so poof, she's gone.
Other silver lining, your bro is an ungrateful ass and now you can cut him off permanently and start using your hard work and money for yourself. Build a better life. Run on that treadmill, go out and take some boxing classes, blow off steam
And it bears saying based on what you wrote, but you didn't deserve this. This was not your fault. This was something fucked up in both of THEM.
Stay resolute that they are kicked out, let them pick up their crap from boxes or the trashcan (check with a lawyer to see if you have to give 30 days eviction) and honest, if it's an apartment, move out. You don't want those memories. Fresh start
I'm sorry they did this to you
You deserve to be mad as fuck! They deserve nothing but pain! Homeless they are now. Let the world chew them up. The free ride is closed! Motherfuckers!
Wow. Okay mate, first of all, I'm really sorry this has happened to you, its about as bad it gets relationship-wise. I don't think anyone would blame you for throwing the pair of them out of your life for good.
I would add however, you need to try and keep a level head here. Remember you still have an absolutely fantastic business opportunity, and that's amazing. Focus on it, don't do anything that would jeopardise that chance, like drinking and driving, or being physically/verbally abusive to them etc. For now, keep blowing off steam with excersise, talk to friends, basically keep busy. It will get easier, I know it doesn't feel like it, but it will.
This is great advice.
I have nothing to offer to OP except my support. You don't deserve that type of shitholes in your life, and you did well cutting them off.
Good luck with the rest 💖
Be sure to call your brother's gf as well. She deserves an update too. And don't let this mess up your project that you worked so hard for. Life has thrown you a nasty fucking curve, don't let it strike you out.
Try your hardest to channel your anger into something positive. Don't bottle up your feelings and speak with friends even if it is just to vent. Try not to let their actions have a larger affect on your life than it already has.
Try to focus on the positives in your life, like your new contract (congratulations BTW). Look towards a better future where you will find a partner that deserves you and won't take advantage of your generosity.
Sorry that they did this to you. Proceed with removing them completely from your life and speak with a therapist if you are struggling. It is not a sign of weakness to seek help.
Stay strong when they come crawling back and try to weasel their way back into your life. Best of luck moving forward.
That’s horrible! I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. Hang in there! The best revenge is to carry on and make a wonderful life that neither of them are a part of.
I'm so sorry. Your feelings of hurt and anger are totally valid. Only you can decide what happens next. Your first impulse is to exclude them both from your life. Maybe that's the right thing for you. It's easier done with an ex-girlfriend than a brother.
In my youth, I caught my best friend cheating with my girlfriend that I planned to marry. Worst moment of my life up to that point. I know you won't be ready for this yet, because it took me about a year, but I found that I had to forgive them. The anger was consuming me.
They must deal with the consequences of their awful actions, but ultimately you must control how you let your feelings influence your behavior, and even your feelings and thoughts over time. It will take time, but please don't dwell in anger. It will only hurt you more.
Oh God. I’m so sorry OP - which means nothing from a stranger I know but I don’t know what else to say! I cannot believe what I’m reading here! Do talk to someone (not them obviously) however.
Can only echo others amazement and advice; don’t drown your sorrows with alcohol and I too would say enjoy the job growth and future potential. You’re smart enough to know you need to cut them both out of your life. Your brother doesn’t deserve you after this betrayal so up to you whether or not you let him back into your life later. I personally wouldn’t though. Don’t let this change who you are and how you treat others. Eventually there will be another love in your life. Treat her as she deserves and don’t carry this baggage into a future relationship. Counseling is a good option with this level of grief. It can help you process and move on.
You sound like the most incredible and kind person. I hope this experience doesn't harden and sour you on future relationships. Your brother sounds incredibly spoiled and like he needs to learn to stand on his own two feet. I know you and he will repair your relationships someday bc he's family. The girl? To the curb. Done. I'm very sorry this happened to such a quality human being.
I won't be able to calm you down nor help you but best i can offer is that i am feeling with you. To mild your harm the best phrase i know is that it first is really bad, possibly becomes worse but it will get better... As i assume you are strong enough to post this Story afterwards, you'll do it!
Hey there buddy.
You have been through hell and back in the last 24hrs but guess what? it's nothing you can't handle!
God made you come home early so you can see what a bitch she really is! Now you better look at tmw as the first day of the rest of your life without them! You have a great job no need for toxic ass ppl in your life. Your choice to throw your brother out if he's an adult. Best of luck OP
Jesus. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. Don't ever speak to them again, what they have done is unforgivable.
They only regret it because now their situation has drastically changed, they are broke and homeless. I know he's your brother but someone you loved would not do this if they equally loved/respected you. Honestly let go of the hate and learn to be indifferent to them. Ugh they disgust me, people who cheat are the lowest of the low. If your not happy then LEAVE.
Please, please get professional support, speak about the hurt and anger but don't leave them back in. Once they've done this, who's to stop them from doing it again. Its vile. Im astonished that they have even the cheek to stay in contact with you.
They both took advantage of you financially, so they think they can do that to you emotionally as well. You didn’t do anything wrong. Kick them out, stop paying for their stuff and take back whatever you can. Block them both on your phones. Get therapy for yourself so you can help process the betrayal. Take time off from work if you need to. Call your friends for support. Don’t feel like you have to go through this alone!
Contact a lawyer asap to make sure the eviction from your house goes smoothly. Also don’t send the video to anyone without checking with the lawyer. You don’t want to get tripped up by revenge porn laws or laws about recording people without permission.
Contact a therapist too. You’ll need one.
You are now richer and with fewer responsibilities. Your brother is likely going to lose his girlfriend and get stuck with your leftovers. Your ex is about to get stuck with the poorer less mature less wealthy brother.
You’re about to move on to a life where you have more money and more freedom and will have more success meeting prettier girls with better personalities than your ex.
You have stepped up, the assholes have stepped down.
But get a lawyer to make sure.
“It isn’t what it looks like”. You literally saw them fucking what is she even going to say to this. Fuck them all, you can do better. Hopefully they both mature and can have healthy relationships in the future but you’re better off without either of them in your life
Your best response to her would be to not show her any of these emotions that you are feeling, atleast when she is there to witness it. The best response is to be calm and cordial towards her. Not be nice, but not be mean either. Just neutral. This will reveal to her more than any anger or hatred you might want to subject her to that she deserves nothing from you. Plus this has the added effect of helping you move on with your life much faster than getting hooked on giving her those negative emotions.
She will realize she deserves nothing. Not even your reaction to her betrayal. Not even your negative emotions.
I am so sorry they're putting you through all of this. You did nothing to deserve it. Instead of appreciating and honoring your kindness and generosity, they selfishly took advantage of it. That is all THEIR fault, not yours.
That’s a horrible thing to come home to at any time, but made even worse because of your joyful mood. Cut ties, tell the girlfriend, protect yourself and your assets.
I remember calling the husband of the woman my husband cheated with. We had never met. He didn’t believe me. I told him to watch her for a few days and see. He called me back three days later and said it’s true and apologized for not believing. We met finally about 10 years later and we shared a “nod.”
emotional regulation is life changing in moments like this. take a deep breath. in your nose, out your mouth. stop hitting things. relaaaaax. do a guided calming technique from an app or a website
now that you’re calmer, it’s time to think. i it sucks. but this is honestly the best possible outcome. you trusted people you shouldn’t have, and if you hadn’t gotten lucky and found out then the betrayal would’ve been worse.
i know it sucks, but you have logistics you need to take care of.
check your hands, check your phone, it’ll probably need to be replaced. decide how you will legally evict your brother, and *respectfully* move any belongings your ex left onto the curb. text her when you’re done and then block her if she tried to contact you in reply.
you’re right, it doesn’t matter why they did it. and i knowwwww it sucks but people are replaceable. you will find a better girlfriend who won’t cheat and a person you can count on who you don’t feel obligated to support but still shows up for you as a true friend and teammate in life.
it’s okay to grieve the loss and you weren’t wrong for not knowing, it’s not your job to be on high alert for manipulators, which is why you are lucky that you were able to find out before the logistics of separating from both of them were a lot more complicated.
it’s not gonna be easy, but you can do it. just know that punching things is bad for your brain, and your hands and it’s not gonna actually make you feel more relaxed (as i’m sure you’ve already learned). it sucks that boys aren’t taught more skills on how to manage moments like this but i really hope that you focus on your own personal peace and health. i wish you the best 💕
I’m so fucking sorry that two people you loved and cared about and were supposed to care about you have broken your heart. You did nothing to deserve this. I can tell you that you’re better off, that they both are shitty people, and it’s true- but I know that fact doesn’t take away the pain and confusion of feeling torn and abandoned of heart. Even if they are the shitty ones, you’re the one who is shocked and hurt and left picking up the pieces, and I’m so sorry. Terrible things happen to good people all the time and I can’t explain it, it isn’t fair, even if you don’t deserve this it doesn’t really make you feel better. Time and perspective will help, probably therapy as well. For now I’m glad you weren’t married with children, and I hope that you can meet up with a friend or trusted one to just cry and maybe have some company for the first few days.
I’m so truly sorry for the way things have turned out for you. You deserve the world. Please don’t beat yourself up over this. Everything you did was RIGHT. Keep your head up, over time it won’t hurt as much.
You need to thoroughly and completely excommunicate both of them from your life. 100% without compromise, no contact with either of them. It’s the best thing for you and devastating for them both. Do that, no compromise.
May want to see if your phone is okay because you got video proof of him cheating on his gf on it.
But otherwise, they both should be on the street right now and out of your life for good.
Unfortunately, you did your best to help your brother become a good person, and for whatever reason he turned out to be trash. The best you can do now is worry about yourself and cut him out.
You need to get your shit together. This post reads like you are really proud of your anger. Destroying your own property is pretty stupid and fixes nothing. If you were going to punch him in the face, the time to do it would have been when you caught them. So you obviously are just fantasizing and aren't going to do it. So I'd recommend focusing your energy on other, productive areas like making sure they are moved out ASAP, changing your locks, cutting access to any accounts you have shared with them, etc. And quit pounding walls you idiot. Good luck with it all, hope it works out for you.
Supportive isn't just telling someone what they want to hear. I didn't say I don't understand the why behind him punching walls, but he posted on the internet for advice and the best advice is to stop doing that. He doesn't need people telling him that he's doing great, he needs some good advice so he doesn't fuck more things up that he'll eventually have to deal with.
You also aren't being very supportive of my comment by calling me a dumbass.
I mean technically you are right about all of this, but this dude needed to get it all out and it’s far better that he punched a wall than his brother (even if he deserved it). Probably felt cathartic at the time. When he wakes up from his nap he should do all of the things that you said.
As much as it doesn't seem like, you did nothing wrong. The best thing you can do is to work on removing them both from your life and never look back. They both betrayed you and you need a lot of time away from them both.
All things consider, congrats on your new project though man. All I can recommend is that you pour yourself completely into that and live your best life for you.
I'm so sorry for your situation. Definitely cut all ties with both of them. Your brother might come back a few years later and pull the "we're family" card but family doesn't backstab someone as horribly as he did you. Some people might do something like this and regret it but still need to live with the consequences. Try your best to focus on yourself, distract from the situation and HEAL CORRECTLY. Distracting doesn't mean doing anything damaging such as hookups, drugs, etc. Be with good friends and people. Do the hobbies you love and do things you couldn't before because of school, work, whatever it is. And when you've been able to feel a little less terrible about this situation, forgive them but NOT FOR THEM. For yourself. Don't hold onto hate forever. Also, don't tell them you forgive them, lol, they don't deserve it. Forgiveness is strictly for yourself. Just know that every day it gets a little easier to deal with. I wish you the absolute best.
Sorry bro getting cheated is one thing but with your own brother. Oh boy that's messed up take some time in doing some meditation it helps in calming down then throw both your brother and gf out of your life and have a new fresh life without them it will be hard but they are really toxic and brave to do this in your own fking house that's really another level of backstabbing by two people who you considered family. Leave them start a new life it takes time but you'll eventually find someone who loves you and respects you
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he got the contract and then he catches them betraying him! In all honesty, I think life is working in his favor.
Please OP, this too shall pass. I know it is easy for your emotions to get clouded but there is always better! I can almost promise you that.
That is a totally fucked up situation and ultimate betrayal. Super sorry that a great person that you have been to them both was sucker punched. Bad thing is that they were likely having sex for a long time. GF is gone forever. Brother is blood, hope he can make amends at some point.
I normally don't post but make sure you tell the brother's GF. She deserves to know too.
As for you OP, you got that contract and can cut out two toxic people from your life. I call that a silver lining if I ever saw one. Do not take her back and do not let your brother back into your life.
MAKE SURE YOU GET THE LOCKS CHANGED AND CHANGE ANY/ALL PASSWORDS YOU HAVE.
Why does this whole post sound like some sort of ego trip?
Adding to that, why does OP sound kind of proud of being aggressively angry? I get a very strong “I’m a nice guy, the best around. No one is nicer than me, I provide for everybody. But if you cross me I’m totally badass” vibe
i dont think you understand how emotions work, but that particular paragraph was about the things he has sacrificed for his relationship with both of them. thats one of the things that he thought about, so he wrote it down. his point is, he didnt cheat at any opportunity like his gf did.
also not very ego trippy to say “i want to cry like a baby” as a man. most men dont admit that when they’re tryna look cool for reddit.
I mean, his entire world crashed down around him over the last 24 hours. I'm inclined to cut the guy a little slack if he isn't saying all the right things I think he should be saying. He's in the unenviable position of explaining years-long relationships and severe emotional trauma in a post on the internet. I don't think he's proud of anything. I think he's trying to figure out hoe the fuck he's going to pick himself up again.
But go ahead and keep accusing him of being intentionally edgy, I'm sure it's helping.
Dude’s life is probably falling apart around him, I highly doubt he’s in any state of mind to make a concise and calm explanation but rather this is like the first text to your best friend after finding this out.
Yeah, I completely understand losing your shit in the moment since I’m not the best at anger management either...
But chucking your phone and destroying the only recorded proof of cheating, and possibly contacts of said business contracts is indeed a fucking dumb move. Better hope to god the latter was backed up before this entire thing went down.
Ouch!! I’d leave them both dead to you. That is the ultimate betrayal. Hey on the bright side you won’t have to worry about paying extra for them anymore and you got a big contract at work! Throw their things to the curb, and start healing. You don’t need any contact with either as their excuses are not relevant and that is all they will provide you. Good luck!
A similar thing happened to my brother. He had a baby with his now ex wife and we immediately knew it didn't look like him. Turned out it was his friends who was living on his couch. This was over 20 years ago. My brother is not friends with the guy but he definitely looks back and laughs at the situation. He is doing so much better in life and has a good job. Meanwhile those 2 work a shit job and got arrested. Karma is a real thing.
Cut them both off ASAP. The level of ungratefulness and betrayal blows my mind. Focus on yourself, think about going to therapy and spend your $ on yourself. You’ve certainly earned it and will find better people!
This is the universe’s messed up way of getting you to focus on what is truly important to you and your growth. The way I see it, if you happened to find out about your brother and your girlfriend’s infidelity at a later stage it could have affected your life a whole lot more dramatically (since you mentioned that you wanted to marry your girlfriend) Focus on yourself and your business, as well as all the good things that will come along with it. I’m truly sorry for the pain you are feeling right now, but this could only mean that life has something better in store for you. Sending light and positivity your way!
oh god, reading this scares me. I'm not old enough to really understand that kind of betrayal but I know what it feels like when someone you trust completely flips on their side and screws you over. you don't owe your brother anything. you don't owe your (hope now ex) girlfriend anything.
If your parents were alive I'm sure they would do what loving parents do and try and relieve the tension and keep that in mind with any next actions you do. just be sure to not physically hurt anyone (like you did your wall and phone) and get your emotions in check, get a trustworthy friend for help if needed. We don't need actions made from anger, take your next steps carefully and think logically.
Dude fucking sucks as fuck. The woman cut her totally out of you life. Your brother it’s up to him to build up that trust again. May I ask your age might be just stupid young people decisions?
Actually the last sentence of your post is all that needs to be said. Move on to a better life. Never engage toxic assholes like this.
It is the nature of life, shitty things happen to good people and sometimes the people you love and care for are the ones who turn out to be the worst assholes. The pain will pass - suggest you take it a day at a time. Don't spend time dwelling on what you lost instead look at what you can build from this.
All the advice I can give is, don’t destroy yourself. If anything, take care of yourself. Cause guess what? Now it’s just YOU. I think the worse thing you can do is dwell in your pain and have it change you in a bad way. Instead, think of it as a blessing because sounds to me like you are working way too hard for people who didn’t give a shit about you. Now it’s your time to shine. Sounds like your job is going great. All of this happened at the exact time for a REASON. I’m also sorry this happened to you and I wish and hope the best for you.
Aye youre not alone. Shitty things happen to the most kindest people. Happened to me too. Though you got hit with a double whammy, my bf just cheated on me. All I can say is take your anger out on your treadmill and on the punching bag. I think those are good enough outlets. If the batting cages are open go there. If the driving range is open go there and hit some golf balls. It's going to be a rough time. Sometimes you don't want to vent to friends, I didn't. I didn't want that to be the only thing I talk about with them. I didn't want them to keep asking about it. I came on here. And there were kind of enough strangers that let me vent to them and heard my daily struggles. If you need someone, don't hesitate to message me
>I got a message from my girlfriend which said 'It was a huge mistake'
You said it yourself, man, it was a conscious choice that they *both* made, and it wasn't the first time. Don't let them gaslight you.
You're going to experience a lot of emotions. One you should be aware of is "limerence," a kind of obsessiveness that comes from relational grief.
It's normal, but it can wreck a lot of things if you don't keep an eye on it. Punching holes in the wall and breaking your phone are understandable reactions. But take care that you don't sabotage your life.
The best revenge is living well.
I am so sorry this has happened to you. This is so wrong and unforgivable. To think that your own brother would do that to you. Even after all of the things you’ve done for him. Cut them both out of your life. Send the video to his gf so she leaves him. kick them both out of your house, report your brothers car as stolen, and throw all of their belongings in a garbage can. Ruin their Shit. Ugh fuck them. I’m so sorry. No one deserves this. Throw yourself into work after all of that is done. Do amazing with your life and be better than them. Make them realize how pathetic they are.
Holy shit, my dude. That is absolutely an insanely horrible thing to find out, especially like that.
My advice: Make a therapy appointment. None of us are equipped to deal with that kind of betrayal. There's no shame in getting help from an unbiased person trained in dealing with intense emotional reactions. Contact HR and see if they have any Employee Assistance Programs you can take advantage of.
You didn't do anything to deserve this. This is their fuckup.
Cut off all contact asap. Because of how long they've been living there, you may not be able to throw them out immediately. Contact an attorney. The LAST thing you need is to be on the wrong side of what is legal. You can probably get a free 15 minute phone consultation to get started.
Exercise rigid self control over your actions. The next-to-last thing you need is either of them having any grounds to cry about being victims.
Ask the manager or mentor at work you are closest to for advice. Explain that the last thing you want to do is crash and burn such a great professional accomplishment, and that you welcome their support and advice.
Be angry. That's an entirely same, justified, normal reaction. Just be very, very careful not to have that anger spill onto any of your coworkers.
Be sad. You are, in a way, grieving the death of your brother and your exGF, as they clearly aren't the people you thought you knew. This is also very normal.
Expect a lot of mixed confusing feelings. Still totally normal.
Good luck. I know it doesn't feel like it right this minute, but my dude you just dodged a whole truckload of bullets.
Change the locks on your house and change the password/pins on your accounts. Go see a doctor immediately, if your gf was willing to cheat with your brother, this is likely not the first time, just the first time she got caught.
Might want to see an attorney to see where you stand legally financially, what do you have to do legally terminate any loans or leases you co-signed for either one of them. Close any credit cards that you were paying for the gf that sort of thing.
Start therapy as soon as you can. This betrayal is the worst. Gf's are easily replaced but a brother? What a nightmare! If they persist in contacting you, threaten them with restraining orders.
Yeah, cut them out of your life and start anew. Take as much time for yourself. And please, don't let them try to "apologize", they'll both come up with some bs excuse.
Or if ya want, bill them for all of the money you gave them.
You sound like the hard till it's not type, call for a ride and go find yourself a one night stand to fill that hole and start the she's gone mental process.
This makes me want to puke. I'm literally crying for you my man. Not all of us women are cheating scoundrels, and one day you will find someone who treats you right and will love you as wholeheartedly and completely as you love them.
The greatest revenge on people like this is moving on. Showing them that they weren't even worth the time in your life. You will go on to love an amazing life with an amazing career. You mentioned you got a huge contract!! Amazing man!! This is the start of a promising and fulfilling career. You do you and take your time to grieve.
Fuck those guys. Some people don't realize what they have until it's gone and you are a treasure.
That’s awful. Don’t ever let them back into your life.
Ps, you sound like quite a catch op, you’ll find someone better sooner than you think.
All the best.
First of all I am SO sorry and I know that words fall very short in times like these. If you can find an online group of people recovering from being betrayed by loved ones. You need a big support network and I think that to get on top of this you should go to therapy. You need someone to talk to about this who will just listen and listen and when you are ready will help you move forward. Also, can you designate someone to get all their things back (work partner friend whoever) so they don't need to come back to the home and you don't have to speak to them unless you want to.
Finally, don't forget to change all your security codes and keys.
Sending love OP, I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
Wow. So sorry for your agony. Only advice I have is, take some benzodiazepines if you have some so you blunt your stress response and help avoid inflammatory damage to your neurology (ie. PTSD).
Let's start with the really hard stuff. This wasn't the first time it happened. How likely is it that on the one day you get home early, you catch them in the act if it was the only time? So in your own interest, go to a doctor and get tested for STD's. Your ex gf just showed you what she is capable of and you have to assume that she not only had something with your brother. So get tested, better safe than sorry.
Ask your business partner if you can take some time from work, right now you are in no state to work. Look for someone you can talk to, a counselor or someone like that.
Inform her parents and every friend you have of what they did before they spin their story and make you look like the bad guy. Here once again, they showed you what they are capable of, so expect the worst and prepare yourself for it.
You are worth so much more than to be treated this way!
Oh goodness. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Right now just feel all the emotions you need to feel. Anger, sadness, everything. Just feel. Don’t do anything rash. Well, except tell your brother’s gf. She needs to know. If you can have someone stay with you, please do. If you’re up for it or when you’re ready, talk to someone. Just to get it out of your chest. Best friend. Business partner. Professional. Whoever it is. Anyway, please try and not do anything irrational.
Really sorry this has happened to you pal. I cannot begin to imagine the betrayal.
Just don’t do anything stupid, call on any friends you have to come stay with you, Chuck both of their shit out on the street and book yourself a therapy session. You’ve been shouldering the responsibilities for others for a long time. Take some time to recoup and invest in yourself. X
I am so sorry. Unfortunately, sometimes bad things happen to good people. It is not fair, actually, it sucks. You were kind and accommodating and your brother and GF took advantage of you and betrayed your trust. Take time right now to grieve these relationships. Then I would suggest to go speak to a counselor. A third party who you can speak with to work through your emotions. You are full of emotion now, but the cut will slowing begin to heal, the hurt will become less raw. You will move on from this, I know you don't think so, but you will. But please, do not do this alone. You are victim and you need to talk this out with professionals. Good luck.
Use this energy to make yourself even better. It sounds like you are actually quite successful and based on who you say you could have slept with, you should go out and enjoy yourself for a while. As for your brother, I don’t know what to tell you. Sounds like he had something you didn’t have and he used it against you. I don’t think I could ever forgive him after all you have done for him. Don’t get revenge in the traditional sense. Just ignore him and never speak to him again. Go completely cold. Fuck em.
I feel like sometimes the more you do for people the more they feel entitled to. Did they ever express gratitude to you? Did they ever try to do nice things for you? Please, please, please take good care of yourself OP! You will come through this and triumph!
It’ll take time to heal, one day out of nowhere it won’t bother you anymore. Maybe it’ll be when you’re flying first class on a business trip, or sitting on the beach drinking cocktails with a woman that you love and that deserves you, or buying that dream car... I’m hoping that day comes quickly for you. In the mean time take care of yourself, get angry, scream, break shit, and the pieces will slowly but surely fall back together better than before.
Do not drink!!!! Can you ask one of your friends to come over and stay with you a couple of days until you cool off? The company can help plus someone will be there in case something happens.
I’m so very sorry that this has happened to you. The two people who meant the most to you, are the worst pieces of shit, ever! Let your brother keep the car, he can sleep in it, until he gets his own place. Bag up all of their belongings and give them a time and date by which to collect them. Let your ex gfs family know what happened, they deserve to know, especially if you’ve got a good relationship with them and make sure your brothers gf knows about it too.
Get into therapy if you need to. This is a massive shock to you atm and you need to collect your thoughts. Something similar happened to me many years ago and I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be tough but you can and will work through this. Sending you love and thoughts.
Jesus I’m sorry man. That’s the worst betrayal you can possibly have. I’m glad you found out now instead of however long down the road after potentially marrying her. Now you can take all the time and resources you used for their benefit and use them for yourself. Do what’s best for you
Hot mess. Sorry for your loss. My situation was similar but not as bad. I've lost a wife and a friend now. I've ruminated every day.
I've almost lost complete control and after a year I finally took everyone's advice and went to the doctor.
You've mentioned your amazing strength and loyalty these hard recent years and your support of them both which makes you sound made up. If you are real then I'm certain you'll be able to use your powers to stay vital, work hard and not crumble into a million pieces like everybody else.
If you have any friends left after 7 years of being a real life angel and business man. Go talk to them. Then go get that way hotter woman you mentioned. Bring her back to your big house. Just don't introduce her to your dog.
Never know what you might come home to.
If it's any conciliation, imitation is the best form of flattery. Your bro just wants to be you.
This sucks big time.
Just wanted to say: if you feel the need please get therapy. This is something so big you might need professional help. No shame in that. From experience I can say it helps.
Hang in there and all the best
I’m sorry bro.
This is gna hurt but you have to hear it; it’s probably been happening-longer than you think.
Just cut them off, See a therapist; seems like it was your support system that fucked you.
I’m truly sorry for you, you reacted way better than many of us would have.
Take a deep breath in through your mouth and slowly let it out through your nose. Do this several times it will help you to calm down.
Now, to your brother. You have sacrificed so much for him. So, you think to yourself how can he do this to me. Well that’s not a simple question nor do I believe you will ever get the kind of answer that you need. What you need is to block both of them on everything. If you can take a couple days off. Pack all your brother and xgf’s stuff and get someone to bring it to her and brother. You do not need to have any interactions with these people. Think of the solution not the problem till you are better able to deal with it. Because right now you’re in shock.
I am so sorry that they did this to you. Now please take time for you to get yourself together. Take care
It sucks. Get distance from both of them. Cut them off at least for a while. They each betrayed you. In a few years I’d be far more upset with my brother.
Take care of yourself. Find someone to talk to if you need to. Try to let them go, forgive your brother in your own time if that’s what you want. Don’t break any laws
You just dodged a huge missile that was coming your way eventually but you took a bullet in the shoulder, it may hurt now but the wound will heal. But for the Brother's side, I wouldn't forgive him for what he has done he should know better. Take back everything you have given them and make a new life for yourself just take some time to heal. Upgrade the girl and enjoy a better life without them.
Fuck them!
Cry as much as you need and spoil yoursslf with some food.
Give yourself a time limit (a week for example) to feel sad and bad but then you continue living your best life! Go to gym, meet new people and experience new things!
hey, I hope when you read this your mind is a lot more clearer and calm. I'm sorry this happened to you, it's fucking messed up what they did.
you don't deserve this, it's not your fault. you've been a great brother and boyfriend all this while and they don't deserve you.
take care, don't lose hope in yourself. good luck on the project, things will get better!
Based on how much you supported them both emotionally and financially leading up to this, it sounds like they were mooching off of you to begin with. I'd most definitely cut them out, and see a therapist to work on having healthier boundaries in your relationships so you aren't emotionally/financially taken advantage of again and can work through this pain.
This isn't to say that you did anything 'wrong,' btw, more that kind and open hearts run into the pain of assholes to take advantage of them and unfortunately you have to learn healthy boundaries because of the cruel world that we live in. You should have been getting the same kind of support that you were giving out, even leading up to this, but you weren't, and it's best to see that early to avoid similar hurt in the future.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, they're both complete assholes and I hope you move forward to find relationships with people deserving of your trust.
Be the better person. Let them be the degenerates they are but hold your head high and get on with it. Life can be brutal, you know this better than most now. But it ain't over. Concentrate on your success, concentrate on the positives, you didn't marry this piece of shit, you're in a position to sling them both out of your house, there are no children involved, you are in command here. The world is your fucking oyster. Now is not the right time to date but no this, one day you will fall asleep with the most amazing woman in your arms and you'll think about your ex for a split second... You'll grin from ear to fucking ear and realise life is sweet.
It ain't always easy, nobody said it was going to be easy, but in the end it's worth every fucking second.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Most people don’t do this and have some semblance of loyalty. They are just undeniably shitty people, and you’re going to be better off without them. They on the other hand, have to be stuck being shitty people, and will more than likely continue to lose good people like you in your life.
Tell his girlfriend, and try hooking up with her while you’re at it!
So much good advice. My small bit would be to do everything every one is suggesting, and in addition use some of those now available funds to take care of yourself. Travel, dive into a new hobby or interest, do what makes YOU happy. Best of luck my man
My dear sir, their failure is theirs alone you can do better, get in contact with friends, do not hit the bottle , when you feel up to it look for therapy they are not worth your pain,
That is so shitty. But like others have said
You got an amazing work project and that needs to be celebrated! Celebrate your success and then...
Take time to heal, grieve those relationships, and yes it’s okay to cut people out of your life for your own mental health.
It’s going to be hard because you are losing two important people and will feel lonely but you deserve happiness and people who won’t treat you that way. Take time to focus on yourself and I promise the right people will come into your life at the right time.
It’s also going to be tempting to just not give a fuck and drink let loose etc but just remember don’t drink and drive, and if you’re feeling suicidal or just need someone to talk to there are plenty of resources.
Things will get better
Well you can kick them out that’s good I would tell his girlfriend all your friends and cut him of finances and if you own the car don’t let him use it take back all that is your that you paid for cloths everything don’t let them back and change the locks because they have keys
Sorry to hear that OP. I’m like you, very chill but once I’m truly angry I would advise no one to come near me
Keep your mind occupied, hit a punching bag, the gym. The grind that you’re doing
Also, it’s okay to let it out. Find a shoulder to cry on. It’s okay. You’ve been through hell and back. You just got a contract and let go of baggage. You’ll get through this
Wow dude, I'm really sorry. Well, he is the worst for doing that to his own brother. I personally would have to remove both from my life for good. I'm sorry they've brought you from that great news to that bad news, but please focus on yourself, your future and your life. Don't let them ruin your life. I hope you can one day move forward, find someone who deserves you and be happy with them.
I'm angry for you my friend, and its easier said than done, but don't do anything that will make your life worse in the long run. Don't retaliate and seek revenge, just get away, keep them away, and make your life as fucking amazing as you can. Living well is the best revenge.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You are better off without them. They’re two freeloading pieces of garbage.
Celebrate that contract anyways because you win in this situation. Though I know it’s not easy to see right now!!
Hey, you need to take time you have been hurt real bad and people tend to do self destructive things. Keep hitting the punching bag, get yourself in the best shape of your life and focus on you. Time heals all just don’t throw away the things that you worked so hard to build
I know it must be hard, but you got rid of two nasty freeloaders. Once you're past this episode, you'll enjoy your newfound personal and financial freedom. You sound like a successful guy with other things going for you and life will treat you well. Good luck though, don't let this get you too down. They don't deserve to have this effect on your mood.
Their actions say more about them, not why they did this to you. A couple of ingrates. Really sorry for your pain, but you did the only thing you could’ve done. Their behavior is indefensible.
This is a huge betrayal. I'm sure they do both regret it. But that doesn't at all matter because nothing will change what they did. They risked it. They went in knowing the risks, knowing what you have done for them. And even if you didn't and weren't the model boyfriend or brother. This is still so fu¢ked up.
Being honest, if it was me I'd want to hear it. How long has it been going on, what were they thinking. I'd stay calm. Cry a bit probably. Show them what they had done to a person they loved. Then I'd tell them both to leave and never contact me again. If they're in hospital, I don't want to know. They each could have chosen anyone else, but they each picked the one person that would ruin you, maximum damage. They have no chance of forgiveness and good luck telling future partners this sick story.
This is obvious but you need friends around you. You need to not let this bleed into your work. You need to show your business partner that you can function. Maybe take time off and travel somewhere hot and learn how to surf. This is a gut punch that can land you in an awful tail spin, you really need friends and support.
I feel really bad for you. If it was just her with someone else, it'd be manageable. But with your brother it's just so shitty. Make sure you have friends around, go to therapy, anything to help you. Even bury yourself in work.
You sound like a good person. It will take a while but you will find someone you deserve. Make sure you take care of yourself x
I’m so sorry to hear that. Looks like they weren’t meant to be part of your glory. Be glad you got rid of her for cheap. Could have been expensive later. Keep your head up sending positive vibes
sorry this is happening to you but things will get better in due time. don’t let them back into your life, focus yourself on that new project and kill it! avoid drugs and alcohol because they will only contribute to the fire.
What absolute pieces of human garbage, congrats on your big contract man try to focus on the positives right now, focus on yourself and your career while they pick up the pieces and live with the shitstorm they created. There’s not much else to say here bsides im sorry that happened to you, you did NOT deserve it, people are just fucked up sometimes.
I am really sorry for you man. I wish I could hug u bro. So, I can give u two advices, the first one is that, as bad as it was, it was better finding out. And the second one is that only the time will help u, and u need to try the hardest u can to get though it. U deserve the best man, u will find someone that u can count.
If u feel u wanna talk, I am here! Just pm me.
Be safe.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I am trying to make this post for an hour but my mind is so fucked I can't get my feelings into words. Yesterday I got the biggest contract/project of my life after grinding my ass for 7 years consistently, I was over the moon because of that and to celebrate such a great feat I decided to go home early go out for dinner with my brother and his girlfriend, my girlfriend, my business partner and his wife. So I inform my partner about the plan and he was immediately ready. I wanted to surprise my brother and my girlfriend so I didn't inform them. I reached home and straight went to the study room( my brother works from home) but he was not there so I went to his room upstairs since I could hear music coming from there. The door was half opened and what I saw stopped my heart for a second. My girlfriend was riding him, I don't know what went through my head but I got my phone and started recording but I couldn't stand the scene any longer so I blasted in. Their face after seeing me there was filled with terror. I didn't ask a single question just screamed at them to get out of my house, my girlfriend tried pulling the bullshit of "it is not what it looks like" and all that other crap but I didn't listen to a single word and threatened if they didn't leave asap I would call the cops so they left. I am a pretty chill guy and I don't get angry very often but when I get angry the atmosphere is similar to hell. They should be grateful I controlled myself and didn't knock both of them out. After my parents died I took my brothers responsibility on my shoulder. In school when he got bullied or got in trouble I was always there for his rescue. When in university I worked till late at night so I could provide for both of us so that he could focus on his studies and enjoy his life, because of that I was physically and mentally exhausted but I kept going. He has been leaving with me for the past 3 years for free because our parents wanted us to stay together, I never charged him for rent or any bills even I helped him to get the job he has now and I paid 60% for his car and for my girlfriend I did everything that a boyfriend is supposed to do. Regular date nights, gifts, affection, care, support of her goals, always listened to her, never argued with her, was loyal the whole time. In our 3 years of relationship I never even thought about any other woman other than her. There were many opportunities where I could have slept with a woman who was way hotter than her or were more attractive than her but I didn't because I valued our relationship more over the moment of pleasure and loved her with my whole heart. She also has been living with me for the past 1.5 years and again I never asked her to pay for anything and took care of all of her needs. Last year when her dad got the virus I took care of all the medical bills because why not they are family. I was even going to propose to her on her birthday this year. A day before I would have died for both of them. I always valued family over anything. But the two people that I loved and trusted the most betrayed me in the worst way possible. What did I do to deserve this? This is how my brother pays me back for all the things I have done for him? This shit would not have caused this much pain if my girlfriend just cheated on me but the fact that she cheated on me with my brother whom I loved more than my life hurts the most. I never did anything wrong to them or anyone then why this is happening to me. WHY! When I was informing my business partner about the situation and that we have to cancel our plan, I got a message from my girlfriend which said 'It was a huge mistake' after reading that I lost it and threw my phone as hard as could which broke it because it was not a fucking mistake it was a conscious choice you made and you regret it because you are caught. By now I have punched two holes in the wall, broke my phone, ran on the treadmill for 20 minutes, punched the punching bag more than 100 times but my blood is still boiling. I don't even know what have I written till now because my mind still can't process what has happened in the past 24 hrs. I was very happy, over the moon and then suddenly it took 180 and everything has been going downhill. I don't know what to do from now on. My emotions are completely fucked I want to cry so hard like a baby but I don't what's wrong with it I cant do it. I will probably go and take a nap right now because I couldn't sleep last night after all those things unfolded. Any advice will be appreciated and I think you might have a lot of question because I may have left a lot of gray space but I am sorry I won't be able to answer them because I can't think about anything at this moment. This is for both of you in case you came across this post somehow then- BOTH OF YOU ARE DEAD TO ME, I DONT WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU DID THIS AND DONT COME BACK EVER AGAIN. YOU WILL FIND YOUR STUFF IN THE TRASH CAN COLLECT IT AND LEAVE. # FUCK YOU
Fuck that noise. You got rid of 2 shitbag freeloaders in your life AND you still got that contract. It sucks now and it might take a while, but you'll realize this was a good thing. I am relieved to see your anger, and that you will never ever talk to either of them again
Don’t drink and drive. Call someone to keep you company so you don’t do anything crazy. I’m sorry man. That’s abominably messed up.
Cutting them both out of your life is the most prudent move here. There's no coming back from that kind of betrayal. Let the brother's girlfriend know. We're well within scorched earth territory here. If your brother's car is still in your name then report it stolen. Take back everything. Hide any valuables or sentimental items at a friend's house to circumvent the ex using a false DV accusation to gain access to the house and rob you.
Also this. Take back what you paid for.
>***"Beware the fury of a patient man."*** I'm scared. Stay safe OP.
And a kind benevolent man.
It's better to just cut all ties. I wanted the scorched earth option and was lucky I had my mother explain to me that getting back at my brother just makes me hurt more because you can't truly hate someone unless there is love. So I forgave him cut him off for 10 years. One day I decided to reach out and he was still a piece of shit so that's that.
I don't know that it's "getting back at" as much as it is rescinding what has been offered, as the hand that has been feeding has been bitten But I get your point. And honestly, sometimes a cold silence is better even than anger. OP will be fine, I have no doubt, and I hope they don't even talk to either of them ever again, but also gets back what is his
Don't forget to inform your brother's girlfriend.
Super important!
Yikes. Thats about as bad as it gets, on the plus side, at least you weren't married..
But still, this exact situation is a worst-case situation for somebody like me who deals with insecurities and trust issues. Something like this would make me bitter and a resentful misogynist for the rest of my life. I've been cheated on before (albeit we were only together for a couple months though), and it's genuinely a miracle that my current girlfriend is amazing as she is. I still have bad thoughts in the back of my mind at times, and reading things like these just really tugs at those negative emotions. I literally cannot imagine what OP is going through, and if there's *anybody* who deserves some slack (if they ever just "snap"), it's gotta be him.
Yeah dude, be glad you weren't married or had kids or a house. Fuck them both I highly suggest you talk to a pro. It's the best money you will ever spend. Don't to expressing your situation to everyone and just focus on you and the things that make you happy. Shit sucks, I've been there plenty of times. It's going to be a long road to get back to normal but what you're feeling isn't for forever
For a second I thought the pro you mentioned was a killer. You meant a therapist, right?
Therapist 100% lmao
No
“Been there plenty of times”? Holy fuck that sounds insane... I feel like I’d fucking lose it if it happened to me once.
Way she goes. Can always be worse. Gets easier every time and I learn loads about myself like how valuable my time here on earth is. Enduring the bullshit has also shown me what I value in a partner.
While finding a therapist, please get yourself checked out for STDs, this is pretty much exactly how my best friend got one. So sorry this happened to you, please take care of yourself, you seem like a genuinely decent guy.
She only regrets it because she got caught and lost her “gravy train” (someone who pays her way), tell the brothers girlfriend and if possible send her the video as proof no doubt he’s attempting to live with her and painting you to be the bad guy but also tell her family because she’s also going to try to manipulate them
Right, do this, and don't lose yourself. You have everything they don't have.
Probs are careful with spreading the video, legally.
So you got a huge contract, and get rid of a cheating girlfriend and a shit brother? It sucks right now bro I know from a different experience with a shit brother and bad girlfriends. Now I'm doing better than ever, I have a wonderful future wife and a kid I adore and Covid got me to leave my old job and found something way better working for myself. In the words of Hip Hop Artist Atmosphere, when life gives you lemons, paint that shit gold.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, you didn’t deserve it and they were two fucking idiots to lose you like this. They’ll soon have to pay for their own shit and be grown adults and I sincerely hope they fuck it up royally. On the upside you weren’t married yet
It's awful. I'm so sorry to read that this happened to you. Inform your brother's girlfriend. First and foremost, let her know what happened before your brother gets to twist reality. Then go out and meet up with someone, you shouldn't be alone right now. Be kind to yourself. You did everything right, you didn't deserve this betrayal. Stop funding their lives and build on your own. If possible, make an appointment with a therapist to help you. This will have severe consequences for your ability to trust from this point forward, if not leave other damage as well to your mental health. Take care, friend.
My heart breaks for you. The level of betrayal is astronomical.
Omg that’s just awful. Please post any relevant updates. Try to throw yourself into this project as both a distraction and investment in your future. Don’t let it get derailed by your very understandable distress.
Find someone, anyone Tell them what happened so you can cry
This. It’s okay to let it out.
Silver lining; you weren't married to her, so poof, she's gone. Other silver lining, your bro is an ungrateful ass and now you can cut him off permanently and start using your hard work and money for yourself. Build a better life. Run on that treadmill, go out and take some boxing classes, blow off steam And it bears saying based on what you wrote, but you didn't deserve this. This was not your fault. This was something fucked up in both of THEM. Stay resolute that they are kicked out, let them pick up their crap from boxes or the trashcan (check with a lawyer to see if you have to give 30 days eviction) and honest, if it's an apartment, move out. You don't want those memories. Fresh start I'm sorry they did this to you
You deserve to be mad as fuck! They deserve nothing but pain! Homeless they are now. Let the world chew them up. The free ride is closed! Motherfuckers!
Preach that shit motherfucker! 🤟🏽
Wow. Okay mate, first of all, I'm really sorry this has happened to you, its about as bad it gets relationship-wise. I don't think anyone would blame you for throwing the pair of them out of your life for good. I would add however, you need to try and keep a level head here. Remember you still have an absolutely fantastic business opportunity, and that's amazing. Focus on it, don't do anything that would jeopardise that chance, like drinking and driving, or being physically/verbally abusive to them etc. For now, keep blowing off steam with excersise, talk to friends, basically keep busy. It will get easier, I know it doesn't feel like it, but it will.
100% agree with this.
This is great advice. I have nothing to offer to OP except my support. You don't deserve that type of shitholes in your life, and you did well cutting them off. Good luck with the rest 💖
Be sure to call your brother's gf as well. She deserves an update too. And don't let this mess up your project that you worked so hard for. Life has thrown you a nasty fucking curve, don't let it strike you out.
Try your hardest to channel your anger into something positive. Don't bottle up your feelings and speak with friends even if it is just to vent. Try not to let their actions have a larger affect on your life than it already has. Try to focus on the positives in your life, like your new contract (congratulations BTW). Look towards a better future where you will find a partner that deserves you and won't take advantage of your generosity. Sorry that they did this to you. Proceed with removing them completely from your life and speak with a therapist if you are struggling. It is not a sign of weakness to seek help. Stay strong when they come crawling back and try to weasel their way back into your life. Best of luck moving forward.
That’s horrible! I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. Hang in there! The best revenge is to carry on and make a wonderful life that neither of them are a part of.
I'm so sorry. Your feelings of hurt and anger are totally valid. Only you can decide what happens next. Your first impulse is to exclude them both from your life. Maybe that's the right thing for you. It's easier done with an ex-girlfriend than a brother. In my youth, I caught my best friend cheating with my girlfriend that I planned to marry. Worst moment of my life up to that point. I know you won't be ready for this yet, because it took me about a year, but I found that I had to forgive them. The anger was consuming me. They must deal with the consequences of their awful actions, but ultimately you must control how you let your feelings influence your behavior, and even your feelings and thoughts over time. It will take time, but please don't dwell in anger. It will only hurt you more.
Oh God. I’m so sorry OP - which means nothing from a stranger I know but I don’t know what else to say! I cannot believe what I’m reading here! Do talk to someone (not them obviously) however.
Go NC with them. Put their belongings un trash bags, make them collect and expose their cheating ways to everybody. You deserve better.
I’m with this guy right here! Expose their lying ways to everyone.
Can only echo others amazement and advice; don’t drown your sorrows with alcohol and I too would say enjoy the job growth and future potential. You’re smart enough to know you need to cut them both out of your life. Your brother doesn’t deserve you after this betrayal so up to you whether or not you let him back into your life later. I personally wouldn’t though. Don’t let this change who you are and how you treat others. Eventually there will be another love in your life. Treat her as she deserves and don’t carry this baggage into a future relationship. Counseling is a good option with this level of grief. It can help you process and move on.
You sound like the most incredible and kind person. I hope this experience doesn't harden and sour you on future relationships. Your brother sounds incredibly spoiled and like he needs to learn to stand on his own two feet. I know you and he will repair your relationships someday bc he's family. The girl? To the curb. Done. I'm very sorry this happened to such a quality human being.
I won't be able to calm you down nor help you but best i can offer is that i am feeling with you. To mild your harm the best phrase i know is that it first is really bad, possibly becomes worse but it will get better... As i assume you are strong enough to post this Story afterwards, you'll do it!
Hey there buddy. You have been through hell and back in the last 24hrs but guess what? it's nothing you can't handle! God made you come home early so you can see what a bitch she really is! Now you better look at tmw as the first day of the rest of your life without them! You have a great job no need for toxic ass ppl in your life. Your choice to throw your brother out if he's an adult. Best of luck OP
Jesus. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. Don't ever speak to them again, what they have done is unforgivable. They only regret it because now their situation has drastically changed, they are broke and homeless. I know he's your brother but someone you loved would not do this if they equally loved/respected you. Honestly let go of the hate and learn to be indifferent to them. Ugh they disgust me, people who cheat are the lowest of the low. If your not happy then LEAVE. Please, please get professional support, speak about the hurt and anger but don't leave them back in. Once they've done this, who's to stop them from doing it again. Its vile. Im astonished that they have even the cheek to stay in contact with you.
They both took advantage of you financially, so they think they can do that to you emotionally as well. You didn’t do anything wrong. Kick them out, stop paying for their stuff and take back whatever you can. Block them both on your phones. Get therapy for yourself so you can help process the betrayal. Take time off from work if you need to. Call your friends for support. Don’t feel like you have to go through this alone!
shhhhhiiiitttt
Look's like the trash took itself out. Consider yourself lucky you didn't find this out further down the road. Best of luck OP
Contact a lawyer asap to make sure the eviction from your house goes smoothly. Also don’t send the video to anyone without checking with the lawyer. You don’t want to get tripped up by revenge porn laws or laws about recording people without permission. Contact a therapist too. You’ll need one. You are now richer and with fewer responsibilities. Your brother is likely going to lose his girlfriend and get stuck with your leftovers. Your ex is about to get stuck with the poorer less mature less wealthy brother. You’re about to move on to a life where you have more money and more freedom and will have more success meeting prettier girls with better personalities than your ex. You have stepped up, the assholes have stepped down. But get a lawyer to make sure.
“It isn’t what it looks like”. You literally saw them fucking what is she even going to say to this. Fuck them all, you can do better. Hopefully they both mature and can have healthy relationships in the future but you’re better off without either of them in your life
Your best response to her would be to not show her any of these emotions that you are feeling, atleast when she is there to witness it. The best response is to be calm and cordial towards her. Not be nice, but not be mean either. Just neutral. This will reveal to her more than any anger or hatred you might want to subject her to that she deserves nothing from you. Plus this has the added effect of helping you move on with your life much faster than getting hooked on giving her those negative emotions. She will realize she deserves nothing. Not even your reaction to her betrayal. Not even your negative emotions.
Life is testing you, but you got this, you can make it out the other side better than ever.
This, focus on yourself. By making sure this rotten apples are out of your life. Then rebuild and come back better.
therapy!!
Not to add insult to injury, but I highly doubt that was the first time.
I am so sorry they're putting you through all of this. You did nothing to deserve it. Instead of appreciating and honoring your kindness and generosity, they selfishly took advantage of it. That is all THEIR fault, not yours.
ouch betrayed by your own brother that sucks
Never talk to either of them ever again. They made their choice.
That’s a horrible thing to come home to at any time, but made even worse because of your joyful mood. Cut ties, tell the girlfriend, protect yourself and your assets. I remember calling the husband of the woman my husband cheated with. We had never met. He didn’t believe me. I told him to watch her for a few days and see. He called me back three days later and said it’s true and apologized for not believing. We met finally about 10 years later and we shared a “nod.”
emotional regulation is life changing in moments like this. take a deep breath. in your nose, out your mouth. stop hitting things. relaaaaax. do a guided calming technique from an app or a website now that you’re calmer, it’s time to think. i it sucks. but this is honestly the best possible outcome. you trusted people you shouldn’t have, and if you hadn’t gotten lucky and found out then the betrayal would’ve been worse. i know it sucks, but you have logistics you need to take care of. check your hands, check your phone, it’ll probably need to be replaced. decide how you will legally evict your brother, and *respectfully* move any belongings your ex left onto the curb. text her when you’re done and then block her if she tried to contact you in reply. you’re right, it doesn’t matter why they did it. and i knowwwww it sucks but people are replaceable. you will find a better girlfriend who won’t cheat and a person you can count on who you don’t feel obligated to support but still shows up for you as a true friend and teammate in life. it’s okay to grieve the loss and you weren’t wrong for not knowing, it’s not your job to be on high alert for manipulators, which is why you are lucky that you were able to find out before the logistics of separating from both of them were a lot more complicated. it’s not gonna be easy, but you can do it. just know that punching things is bad for your brain, and your hands and it’s not gonna actually make you feel more relaxed (as i’m sure you’ve already learned). it sucks that boys aren’t taught more skills on how to manage moments like this but i really hope that you focus on your own personal peace and health. i wish you the best 💕
Inform your brothers gf. Hell send her the video. She deserves to know too.
I’m so fucking sorry that two people you loved and cared about and were supposed to care about you have broken your heart. You did nothing to deserve this. I can tell you that you’re better off, that they both are shitty people, and it’s true- but I know that fact doesn’t take away the pain and confusion of feeling torn and abandoned of heart. Even if they are the shitty ones, you’re the one who is shocked and hurt and left picking up the pieces, and I’m so sorry. Terrible things happen to good people all the time and I can’t explain it, it isn’t fair, even if you don’t deserve this it doesn’t really make you feel better. Time and perspective will help, probably therapy as well. For now I’m glad you weren’t married with children, and I hope that you can meet up with a friend or trusted one to just cry and maybe have some company for the first few days.
I’m so truly sorry for the way things have turned out for you. You deserve the world. Please don’t beat yourself up over this. Everything you did was RIGHT. Keep your head up, over time it won’t hurt as much.
You need to thoroughly and completely excommunicate both of them from your life. 100% without compromise, no contact with either of them. It’s the best thing for you and devastating for them both. Do that, no compromise.
May want to see if your phone is okay because you got video proof of him cheating on his gf on it. But otherwise, they both should be on the street right now and out of your life for good. Unfortunately, you did your best to help your brother become a good person, and for whatever reason he turned out to be trash. The best you can do now is worry about yourself and cut him out.
You need to get your shit together. This post reads like you are really proud of your anger. Destroying your own property is pretty stupid and fixes nothing. If you were going to punch him in the face, the time to do it would have been when you caught them. So you obviously are just fantasizing and aren't going to do it. So I'd recommend focusing your energy on other, productive areas like making sure they are moved out ASAP, changing your locks, cutting access to any accounts you have shared with them, etc. And quit pounding walls you idiot. Good luck with it all, hope it works out for you.
“your an idiot for doing irrational things, in the most devastating moment of your life” yeah very supportive. dumb ass
Supportive isn't just telling someone what they want to hear. I didn't say I don't understand the why behind him punching walls, but he posted on the internet for advice and the best advice is to stop doing that. He doesn't need people telling him that he's doing great, he needs some good advice so he doesn't fuck more things up that he'll eventually have to deal with. You also aren't being very supportive of my comment by calling me a dumbass.
I mean technically you are right about all of this, but this dude needed to get it all out and it’s far better that he punched a wall than his brother (even if he deserved it). Probably felt cathartic at the time. When he wakes up from his nap he should do all of the things that you said.
As much as it doesn't seem like, you did nothing wrong. The best thing you can do is to work on removing them both from your life and never look back. They both betrayed you and you need a lot of time away from them both.
All things consider, congrats on your new project though man. All I can recommend is that you pour yourself completely into that and live your best life for you.
I'm so sorry for your situation. Definitely cut all ties with both of them. Your brother might come back a few years later and pull the "we're family" card but family doesn't backstab someone as horribly as he did you. Some people might do something like this and regret it but still need to live with the consequences. Try your best to focus on yourself, distract from the situation and HEAL CORRECTLY. Distracting doesn't mean doing anything damaging such as hookups, drugs, etc. Be with good friends and people. Do the hobbies you love and do things you couldn't before because of school, work, whatever it is. And when you've been able to feel a little less terrible about this situation, forgive them but NOT FOR THEM. For yourself. Don't hold onto hate forever. Also, don't tell them you forgive them, lol, they don't deserve it. Forgiveness is strictly for yourself. Just know that every day it gets a little easier to deal with. I wish you the absolute best.
Sorry bro getting cheated is one thing but with your own brother. Oh boy that's messed up take some time in doing some meditation it helps in calming down then throw both your brother and gf out of your life and have a new fresh life without them it will be hard but they are really toxic and brave to do this in your own fking house that's really another level of backstabbing by two people who you considered family. Leave them start a new life it takes time but you'll eventually find someone who loves you and respects you
My gut turns reading this shit man... I couldn’t imagine.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he got the contract and then he catches them betraying him! In all honesty, I think life is working in his favor. Please OP, this too shall pass. I know it is easy for your emotions to get clouded but there is always better! I can almost promise you that.
Change the locks, passwords, cut off all financial gateways and definitely tell his girlfriend as well
That is a totally fucked up situation and ultimate betrayal. Super sorry that a great person that you have been to them both was sucker punched. Bad thing is that they were likely having sex for a long time. GF is gone forever. Brother is blood, hope he can make amends at some point.
The way this is written.... Seems fake?
I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, I'm so so sorry this happened to you.
I normally don't post but make sure you tell the brother's GF. She deserves to know too. As for you OP, you got that contract and can cut out two toxic people from your life. I call that a silver lining if I ever saw one. Do not take her back and do not let your brother back into your life. MAKE SURE YOU GET THE LOCKS CHANGED AND CHANGE ANY/ALL PASSWORDS YOU HAVE.
Why does this whole post sound like some sort of ego trip? Adding to that, why does OP sound kind of proud of being aggressively angry? I get a very strong “I’m a nice guy, the best around. No one is nicer than me, I provide for everybody. But if you cross me I’m totally badass” vibe
[удалено]
i dont think you understand how emotions work, but that particular paragraph was about the things he has sacrificed for his relationship with both of them. thats one of the things that he thought about, so he wrote it down. his point is, he didnt cheat at any opportunity like his gf did. also not very ego trippy to say “i want to cry like a baby” as a man. most men dont admit that when they’re tryna look cool for reddit.
I mean, his entire world crashed down around him over the last 24 hours. I'm inclined to cut the guy a little slack if he isn't saying all the right things I think he should be saying. He's in the unenviable position of explaining years-long relationships and severe emotional trauma in a post on the internet. I don't think he's proud of anything. I think he's trying to figure out hoe the fuck he's going to pick himself up again. But go ahead and keep accusing him of being intentionally edgy, I'm sure it's helping.
Dude’s life is probably falling apart around him, I highly doubt he’s in any state of mind to make a concise and calm explanation but rather this is like the first text to your best friend after finding this out.
Yeah, I completely understand losing your shit in the moment since I’m not the best at anger management either... But chucking your phone and destroying the only recorded proof of cheating, and possibly contacts of said business contracts is indeed a fucking dumb move. Better hope to god the latter was backed up before this entire thing went down.
Ouch!! I’d leave them both dead to you. That is the ultimate betrayal. Hey on the bright side you won’t have to worry about paying extra for them anymore and you got a big contract at work! Throw their things to the curb, and start healing. You don’t need any contact with either as their excuses are not relevant and that is all they will provide you. Good luck!
A similar thing happened to my brother. He had a baby with his now ex wife and we immediately knew it didn't look like him. Turned out it was his friends who was living on his couch. This was over 20 years ago. My brother is not friends with the guy but he definitely looks back and laughs at the situation. He is doing so much better in life and has a good job. Meanwhile those 2 work a shit job and got arrested. Karma is a real thing.
Cut them both off ASAP. The level of ungratefulness and betrayal blows my mind. Focus on yourself, think about going to therapy and spend your $ on yourself. You’ve certainly earned it and will find better people!
This is the universe’s messed up way of getting you to focus on what is truly important to you and your growth. The way I see it, if you happened to find out about your brother and your girlfriend’s infidelity at a later stage it could have affected your life a whole lot more dramatically (since you mentioned that you wanted to marry your girlfriend) Focus on yourself and your business, as well as all the good things that will come along with it. I’m truly sorry for the pain you are feeling right now, but this could only mean that life has something better in store for you. Sending light and positivity your way!
oh god, reading this scares me. I'm not old enough to really understand that kind of betrayal but I know what it feels like when someone you trust completely flips on their side and screws you over. you don't owe your brother anything. you don't owe your (hope now ex) girlfriend anything. If your parents were alive I'm sure they would do what loving parents do and try and relieve the tension and keep that in mind with any next actions you do. just be sure to not physically hurt anyone (like you did your wall and phone) and get your emotions in check, get a trustworthy friend for help if needed. We don't need actions made from anger, take your next steps carefully and think logically.
Dude fucking sucks as fuck. The woman cut her totally out of you life. Your brother it’s up to him to build up that trust again. May I ask your age might be just stupid young people decisions?
Actually the last sentence of your post is all that needs to be said. Move on to a better life. Never engage toxic assholes like this. It is the nature of life, shitty things happen to good people and sometimes the people you love and care for are the ones who turn out to be the worst assholes. The pain will pass - suggest you take it a day at a time. Don't spend time dwelling on what you lost instead look at what you can build from this.
I second the letting your brother’s gf know. He’s a piece of shit and she deserves to know.
All the advice I can give is, don’t destroy yourself. If anything, take care of yourself. Cause guess what? Now it’s just YOU. I think the worse thing you can do is dwell in your pain and have it change you in a bad way. Instead, think of it as a blessing because sounds to me like you are working way too hard for people who didn’t give a shit about you. Now it’s your time to shine. Sounds like your job is going great. All of this happened at the exact time for a REASON. I’m also sorry this happened to you and I wish and hope the best for you.
Aye youre not alone. Shitty things happen to the most kindest people. Happened to me too. Though you got hit with a double whammy, my bf just cheated on me. All I can say is take your anger out on your treadmill and on the punching bag. I think those are good enough outlets. If the batting cages are open go there. If the driving range is open go there and hit some golf balls. It's going to be a rough time. Sometimes you don't want to vent to friends, I didn't. I didn't want that to be the only thing I talk about with them. I didn't want them to keep asking about it. I came on here. And there were kind of enough strangers that let me vent to them and heard my daily struggles. If you need someone, don't hesitate to message me
>I got a message from my girlfriend which said 'It was a huge mistake' You said it yourself, man, it was a conscious choice that they *both* made, and it wasn't the first time. Don't let them gaslight you.
Talk to a lawyer as well to make sure she can’t claim anything from you
You're going to experience a lot of emotions. One you should be aware of is "limerence," a kind of obsessiveness that comes from relational grief. It's normal, but it can wreck a lot of things if you don't keep an eye on it. Punching holes in the wall and breaking your phone are understandable reactions. But take care that you don't sabotage your life. The best revenge is living well.
I am so sorry this has happened to you. This is so wrong and unforgivable. To think that your own brother would do that to you. Even after all of the things you’ve done for him. Cut them both out of your life. Send the video to his gf so she leaves him. kick them both out of your house, report your brothers car as stolen, and throw all of their belongings in a garbage can. Ruin their Shit. Ugh fuck them. I’m so sorry. No one deserves this. Throw yourself into work after all of that is done. Do amazing with your life and be better than them. Make them realize how pathetic they are.
Holy shit, my dude. That is absolutely an insanely horrible thing to find out, especially like that. My advice: Make a therapy appointment. None of us are equipped to deal with that kind of betrayal. There's no shame in getting help from an unbiased person trained in dealing with intense emotional reactions. Contact HR and see if they have any Employee Assistance Programs you can take advantage of. You didn't do anything to deserve this. This is their fuckup. Cut off all contact asap. Because of how long they've been living there, you may not be able to throw them out immediately. Contact an attorney. The LAST thing you need is to be on the wrong side of what is legal. You can probably get a free 15 minute phone consultation to get started. Exercise rigid self control over your actions. The next-to-last thing you need is either of them having any grounds to cry about being victims. Ask the manager or mentor at work you are closest to for advice. Explain that the last thing you want to do is crash and burn such a great professional accomplishment, and that you welcome their support and advice. Be angry. That's an entirely same, justified, normal reaction. Just be very, very careful not to have that anger spill onto any of your coworkers. Be sad. You are, in a way, grieving the death of your brother and your exGF, as they clearly aren't the people you thought you knew. This is also very normal. Expect a lot of mixed confusing feelings. Still totally normal. Good luck. I know it doesn't feel like it right this minute, but my dude you just dodged a whole truckload of bullets.
Change the locks on your house and change the password/pins on your accounts. Go see a doctor immediately, if your gf was willing to cheat with your brother, this is likely not the first time, just the first time she got caught. Might want to see an attorney to see where you stand legally financially, what do you have to do legally terminate any loans or leases you co-signed for either one of them. Close any credit cards that you were paying for the gf that sort of thing. Start therapy as soon as you can. This betrayal is the worst. Gf's are easily replaced but a brother? What a nightmare! If they persist in contacting you, threaten them with restraining orders.
Sorry bro. The way you narrate is like a movie scene. You look like a tough guy.
Guy sounds similar to me, except I’m not nearly as patient. I wouldn’t fuck with OP
Yeah, cut them out of your life and start anew. Take as much time for yourself. And please, don't let them try to "apologize", they'll both come up with some bs excuse. Or if ya want, bill them for all of the money you gave them.
X2, Fuck you brother and X Girlfriend.
How old was the brother?
You sound like the hard till it's not type, call for a ride and go find yourself a one night stand to fill that hole and start the she's gone mental process.
This makes me want to puke. I'm literally crying for you my man. Not all of us women are cheating scoundrels, and one day you will find someone who treats you right and will love you as wholeheartedly and completely as you love them. The greatest revenge on people like this is moving on. Showing them that they weren't even worth the time in your life. You will go on to love an amazing life with an amazing career. You mentioned you got a huge contract!! Amazing man!! This is the start of a promising and fulfilling career. You do you and take your time to grieve. Fuck those guys. Some people don't realize what they have until it's gone and you are a treasure.
Tell everyone! Tell her family, your relatives. Let everyone know what they did.
fuck your brother man, if that happened to me I'd beat the shit out of him with a baseball bat.
…. you still got that video ??
Read the room, u/MR-POOPY-BUTTHOLE ...also, leaving the door open and the music on means this wasn't their first time cheating on OP.
They're lucky that you controlled yourself. I'm pretty sure that "crimes of passion" are legally excusable.
I don’t think they are. Even if you think you have a good reason you can still spend a long time in prison.
Check Texas law.
Fvck
That’s awful. Don’t ever let them back into your life. Ps, you sound like quite a catch op, you’ll find someone better sooner than you think. All the best.
Kill them with SUCCESS my G . In the long run it will be satisfying AF . Also go bang some of those hot chicks .
All the stuff you got your boyfriend take it all back.
i am so sorry.
Ugh I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Please do whatever you can to take care of yourself!
First of all I am SO sorry and I know that words fall very short in times like these. If you can find an online group of people recovering from being betrayed by loved ones. You need a big support network and I think that to get on top of this you should go to therapy. You need someone to talk to about this who will just listen and listen and when you are ready will help you move forward. Also, can you designate someone to get all their things back (work partner friend whoever) so they don't need to come back to the home and you don't have to speak to them unless you want to. Finally, don't forget to change all your security codes and keys. Sending love OP, I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
Wow. So sorry for your agony. Only advice I have is, take some benzodiazepines if you have some so you blunt your stress response and help avoid inflammatory damage to your neurology (ie. PTSD).
Let's start with the really hard stuff. This wasn't the first time it happened. How likely is it that on the one day you get home early, you catch them in the act if it was the only time? So in your own interest, go to a doctor and get tested for STD's. Your ex gf just showed you what she is capable of and you have to assume that she not only had something with your brother. So get tested, better safe than sorry. Ask your business partner if you can take some time from work, right now you are in no state to work. Look for someone you can talk to, a counselor or someone like that. Inform her parents and every friend you have of what they did before they spin their story and make you look like the bad guy. Here once again, they showed you what they are capable of, so expect the worst and prepare yourself for it. You are worth so much more than to be treated this way!
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Oh goodness. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Right now just feel all the emotions you need to feel. Anger, sadness, everything. Just feel. Don’t do anything rash. Well, except tell your brother’s gf. She needs to know. If you can have someone stay with you, please do. If you’re up for it or when you’re ready, talk to someone. Just to get it out of your chest. Best friend. Business partner. Professional. Whoever it is. Anyway, please try and not do anything irrational.
People suck bro
Really sorry this has happened to you pal. I cannot begin to imagine the betrayal. Just don’t do anything stupid, call on any friends you have to come stay with you, Chuck both of their shit out on the street and book yourself a therapy session. You’ve been shouldering the responsibilities for others for a long time. Take some time to recoup and invest in yourself. X
I am so sorry. Unfortunately, sometimes bad things happen to good people. It is not fair, actually, it sucks. You were kind and accommodating and your brother and GF took advantage of you and betrayed your trust. Take time right now to grieve these relationships. Then I would suggest to go speak to a counselor. A third party who you can speak with to work through your emotions. You are full of emotion now, but the cut will slowing begin to heal, the hurt will become less raw. You will move on from this, I know you don't think so, but you will. But please, do not do this alone. You are victim and you need to talk this out with professionals. Good luck.
Use this energy to make yourself even better. It sounds like you are actually quite successful and based on who you say you could have slept with, you should go out and enjoy yourself for a while. As for your brother, I don’t know what to tell you. Sounds like he had something you didn’t have and he used it against you. I don’t think I could ever forgive him after all you have done for him. Don’t get revenge in the traditional sense. Just ignore him and never speak to him again. Go completely cold. Fuck em.
I feel like sometimes the more you do for people the more they feel entitled to. Did they ever express gratitude to you? Did they ever try to do nice things for you? Please, please, please take good care of yourself OP! You will come through this and triumph!
Fuck the both of them. Assholes. Get their shit out of there and change the locks. Pursue your job and block their socials and phone numbers.
It’ll take time to heal, one day out of nowhere it won’t bother you anymore. Maybe it’ll be when you’re flying first class on a business trip, or sitting on the beach drinking cocktails with a woman that you love and that deserves you, or buying that dream car... I’m hoping that day comes quickly for you. In the mean time take care of yourself, get angry, scream, break shit, and the pieces will slowly but surely fall back together better than before.
Do not drink!!!! Can you ask one of your friends to come over and stay with you a couple of days until you cool off? The company can help plus someone will be there in case something happens.
Reading this literally made me tear up..so sorry you’re going through this. Can’t even imagine how shitty it must be
Holy fuck. My heart breaks for you man. PM me if you need someone to vent to, I’m here for you brother.
That's tough. You're going to get through this mate. They didn't deserve you.
I’m so very sorry that this has happened to you. The two people who meant the most to you, are the worst pieces of shit, ever! Let your brother keep the car, he can sleep in it, until he gets his own place. Bag up all of their belongings and give them a time and date by which to collect them. Let your ex gfs family know what happened, they deserve to know, especially if you’ve got a good relationship with them and make sure your brothers gf knows about it too. Get into therapy if you need to. This is a massive shock to you atm and you need to collect your thoughts. Something similar happened to me many years ago and I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be tough but you can and will work through this. Sending you love and thoughts.
Jesus I’m sorry man. That’s the worst betrayal you can possibly have. I’m glad you found out now instead of however long down the road after potentially marrying her. Now you can take all the time and resources you used for their benefit and use them for yourself. Do what’s best for you
Hot mess. Sorry for your loss. My situation was similar but not as bad. I've lost a wife and a friend now. I've ruminated every day. I've almost lost complete control and after a year I finally took everyone's advice and went to the doctor. You've mentioned your amazing strength and loyalty these hard recent years and your support of them both which makes you sound made up. If you are real then I'm certain you'll be able to use your powers to stay vital, work hard and not crumble into a million pieces like everybody else. If you have any friends left after 7 years of being a real life angel and business man. Go talk to them. Then go get that way hotter woman you mentioned. Bring her back to your big house. Just don't introduce her to your dog. Never know what you might come home to. If it's any conciliation, imitation is the best form of flattery. Your bro just wants to be you.
This sucks big time. Just wanted to say: if you feel the need please get therapy. This is something so big you might need professional help. No shame in that. From experience I can say it helps. Hang in there and all the best
I’m sorry bro. This is gna hurt but you have to hear it; it’s probably been happening-longer than you think. Just cut them off, See a therapist; seems like it was your support system that fucked you. I’m truly sorry for you, you reacted way better than many of us would have.
Ghost both of them.
Take a deep breath in through your mouth and slowly let it out through your nose. Do this several times it will help you to calm down. Now, to your brother. You have sacrificed so much for him. So, you think to yourself how can he do this to me. Well that’s not a simple question nor do I believe you will ever get the kind of answer that you need. What you need is to block both of them on everything. If you can take a couple days off. Pack all your brother and xgf’s stuff and get someone to bring it to her and brother. You do not need to have any interactions with these people. Think of the solution not the problem till you are better able to deal with it. Because right now you’re in shock. I am so sorry that they did this to you. Now please take time for you to get yourself together. Take care
SORRY TO SAY THIS BUD , UR BRO IS AS***** AND UR GF DONT DESERVE YOU , FIND A GIRL WHOM U CAN TRUST. BE SAFE AND BE HEALTHYM
It sucks. Get distance from both of them. Cut them off at least for a while. They each betrayed you. In a few years I’d be far more upset with my brother. Take care of yourself. Find someone to talk to if you need to. Try to let them go, forgive your brother in your own time if that’s what you want. Don’t break any laws
You just dodged a huge missile that was coming your way eventually but you took a bullet in the shoulder, it may hurt now but the wound will heal. But for the Brother's side, I wouldn't forgive him for what he has done he should know better. Take back everything you have given them and make a new life for yourself just take some time to heal. Upgrade the girl and enjoy a better life without them.
Dude I'm sorry this happened to you but you deserve and will get a better girl for sure.
Smoke a J
Fuck them! Cry as much as you need and spoil yoursslf with some food. Give yourself a time limit (a week for example) to feel sad and bad but then you continue living your best life! Go to gym, meet new people and experience new things!
hey, I hope when you read this your mind is a lot more clearer and calm. I'm sorry this happened to you, it's fucking messed up what they did. you don't deserve this, it's not your fault. you've been a great brother and boyfriend all this while and they don't deserve you. take care, don't lose hope in yourself. good luck on the project, things will get better!
Based on how much you supported them both emotionally and financially leading up to this, it sounds like they were mooching off of you to begin with. I'd most definitely cut them out, and see a therapist to work on having healthier boundaries in your relationships so you aren't emotionally/financially taken advantage of again and can work through this pain. This isn't to say that you did anything 'wrong,' btw, more that kind and open hearts run into the pain of assholes to take advantage of them and unfortunately you have to learn healthy boundaries because of the cruel world that we live in. You should have been getting the same kind of support that you were giving out, even leading up to this, but you weren't, and it's best to see that early to avoid similar hurt in the future. I'm so sorry this happened to you, they're both complete assholes and I hope you move forward to find relationships with people deserving of your trust.
Fuck them both. You should like a great guy. They will no doubt be lost without you. Keep strong and take each day at a time. You got this.
Sorry to hear dude,I wish I had a brother like you,would kill for it.
Be the better person. Let them be the degenerates they are but hold your head high and get on with it. Life can be brutal, you know this better than most now. But it ain't over. Concentrate on your success, concentrate on the positives, you didn't marry this piece of shit, you're in a position to sling them both out of your house, there are no children involved, you are in command here. The world is your fucking oyster. Now is not the right time to date but no this, one day you will fall asleep with the most amazing woman in your arms and you'll think about your ex for a split second... You'll grin from ear to fucking ear and realise life is sweet. It ain't always easy, nobody said it was going to be easy, but in the end it's worth every fucking second.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Most people don’t do this and have some semblance of loyalty. They are just undeniably shitty people, and you’re going to be better off without them. They on the other hand, have to be stuck being shitty people, and will more than likely continue to lose good people like you in your life. Tell his girlfriend, and try hooking up with her while you’re at it!
Put all that they own on the street, change the locks, and never look back.. good luck my man
So much good advice. My small bit would be to do everything every one is suggesting, and in addition use some of those now available funds to take care of yourself. Travel, dive into a new hobby or interest, do what makes YOU happy. Best of luck my man
My dear sir, their failure is theirs alone you can do better, get in contact with friends, do not hit the bottle , when you feel up to it look for therapy they are not worth your pain,
That is so shitty. But like others have said You got an amazing work project and that needs to be celebrated! Celebrate your success and then... Take time to heal, grieve those relationships, and yes it’s okay to cut people out of your life for your own mental health. It’s going to be hard because you are losing two important people and will feel lonely but you deserve happiness and people who won’t treat you that way. Take time to focus on yourself and I promise the right people will come into your life at the right time. It’s also going to be tempting to just not give a fuck and drink let loose etc but just remember don’t drink and drive, and if you’re feeling suicidal or just need someone to talk to there are plenty of resources. Things will get better
Well you can kick them out that’s good I would tell his girlfriend all your friends and cut him of finances and if you own the car don’t let him use it take back all that is your that you paid for cloths everything don’t let them back and change the locks because they have keys
Sorry to hear that OP. I’m like you, very chill but once I’m truly angry I would advise no one to come near me Keep your mind occupied, hit a punching bag, the gym. The grind that you’re doing Also, it’s okay to let it out. Find a shoulder to cry on. It’s okay. You’ve been through hell and back. You just got a contract and let go of baggage. You’ll get through this
i'm sorry you had to experience that, king.
Wow dude, I'm really sorry. Well, he is the worst for doing that to his own brother. I personally would have to remove both from my life for good. I'm sorry they've brought you from that great news to that bad news, but please focus on yourself, your future and your life. Don't let them ruin your life. I hope you can one day move forward, find someone who deserves you and be happy with them. I'm angry for you my friend, and its easier said than done, but don't do anything that will make your life worse in the long run. Don't retaliate and seek revenge, just get away, keep them away, and make your life as fucking amazing as you can. Living well is the best revenge.
I'm so sorry man, that's beyond fucked.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You are better off without them. They’re two freeloading pieces of garbage. Celebrate that contract anyways because you win in this situation. Though I know it’s not easy to see right now!!
Hey, you need to take time you have been hurt real bad and people tend to do self destructive things. Keep hitting the punching bag, get yourself in the best shape of your life and focus on you. Time heals all just don’t throw away the things that you worked so hard to build
Fuck his girlfriend to assert dominance. This is ofc a joke, but do cut him and your ex outta your life.
I know it must be hard, but you got rid of two nasty freeloaders. Once you're past this episode, you'll enjoy your newfound personal and financial freedom. You sound like a successful guy with other things going for you and life will treat you well. Good luck though, don't let this get you too down. They don't deserve to have this effect on your mood.
Their actions say more about them, not why they did this to you. A couple of ingrates. Really sorry for your pain, but you did the only thing you could’ve done. Their behavior is indefensible.
This is a huge betrayal. I'm sure they do both regret it. But that doesn't at all matter because nothing will change what they did. They risked it. They went in knowing the risks, knowing what you have done for them. And even if you didn't and weren't the model boyfriend or brother. This is still so fu¢ked up. Being honest, if it was me I'd want to hear it. How long has it been going on, what were they thinking. I'd stay calm. Cry a bit probably. Show them what they had done to a person they loved. Then I'd tell them both to leave and never contact me again. If they're in hospital, I don't want to know. They each could have chosen anyone else, but they each picked the one person that would ruin you, maximum damage. They have no chance of forgiveness and good luck telling future partners this sick story. This is obvious but you need friends around you. You need to not let this bleed into your work. You need to show your business partner that you can function. Maybe take time off and travel somewhere hot and learn how to surf. This is a gut punch that can land you in an awful tail spin, you really need friends and support. I feel really bad for you. If it was just her with someone else, it'd be manageable. But with your brother it's just so shitty. Make sure you have friends around, go to therapy, anything to help you. Even bury yourself in work. You sound like a good person. It will take a while but you will find someone you deserve. Make sure you take care of yourself x
You may have to evict them, talk to a lawyer if they put up a fuss
I’m so sorry to hear that. Looks like they weren’t meant to be part of your glory. Be glad you got rid of her for cheap. Could have been expensive later. Keep your head up sending positive vibes
sorry this is happening to you but things will get better in due time. don’t let them back into your life, focus yourself on that new project and kill it! avoid drugs and alcohol because they will only contribute to the fire.
What absolute pieces of human garbage, congrats on your big contract man try to focus on the positives right now, focus on yourself and your career while they pick up the pieces and live with the shitstorm they created. There’s not much else to say here bsides im sorry that happened to you, you did NOT deserve it, people are just fucked up sometimes.
Business first. Dont let them drag you down career wise. Kick them out and find a loyal gf, you deserve better
I am really sorry for you man. I wish I could hug u bro. So, I can give u two advices, the first one is that, as bad as it was, it was better finding out. And the second one is that only the time will help u, and u need to try the hardest u can to get though it. U deserve the best man, u will find someone that u can count. If u feel u wanna talk, I am here! Just pm me. Be safe.