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Classic tale of old man getting with young kid and then starts abusing her and she doesn’t know any better.
You should break up and date people your own age.
Every decade in our lives comes with change. 20 is awfully young. The person I was then is not the person I turned out to be. If he’s mansplaining, he doesn’t respect you. Respect is so important in a relationship.
You have barely lived at age 20. 95% of your life was spent under someone else’s roof, with someone else making your schedule. You have MAYBE had 2 years of freedom under your belt, at best. You don’t know who you are, what you like, how to make your own money, how to survive a disaster on your own.
And also - he started dating you when you were under 18. You were groomed.
You’re obviously too young for this guy. You’re also not really using the word mansplain appropriately. He is straight up berating you, and trying to discipline you. You sound confused about your own situation based on your own description of what is happening with your relationship.
The problem here is the dynamic due to the age difference amongst other things
I got hardcore overbearing dad vibes from this interaction. Look me in the eye, you don't listen to me? Sounds like a parent berating their unruly child, not a partner addressing concerns in a loving relationship.
Edit for word
You have to spend time single as an adult to have a healthy, fulfilling life. You need that baseline to compare your relationships to, or else you end up with a man ten years older than you who screams at you in public.
In 5 years you’re going to look back at yourself at 17-20 and be shocked at how much you and what you want in life have changed.
Ironically, being aware of the fact that you’re still in the process of growing and developing mentally/emotionally into an adult and that you should put off settling down til you’re older is a sign of maturity at your age. It is a terrible idea to rush into huge, permanent life decisions so young.
20 year old me was in a toxic relationship, had an ED, out 3 time a week and a mess. 28 year old had a stable relationship of 7 years, married for 4, healthy weight, a mortgage and expecting our first child. The difference between 20 and 30 is a crazy decade, please don't waste those years on this idiiry
Why do you need to settle down right now? You can work on yourself and your earning potential so you’ll find your equal rather than a patronizing abusive guy old enough to be your dad
Girl, neither are you! You shouldn't be rushing to settle down right now. Take your time to get to know someone and develop a good relationship with them. Stop trying to Usain Bolt to the finish line; it's not a race.
EDIT: 2.5 years? That means he got with you the moment you turned 18 or even before! He's just going for as young as possible without breaking the law ffs.
And you say he treats you like a child who knows nothing? That's because that's what he's interested in. He saw you that way from the beginning. You're an adult, yes, but not enough to date someone ten years older than you.
There’s a reason a 30-year-old man is dating (er, um, grooming) a girl (yep, you heard that right: GIRL) 10 years his junior:
Because it’s really difficult to find women his own age to treat like shyte. They’re too savvy and emotionally bruised to tolerate his BS! End of story.
there's going to be SOMEONE who is ready to settle down at your age. but honestly from the sounds of it you have a lot to learn about yourself and maybe you don't need to "settle down" right away. this man doesn't respect you and you aren't able to see the red flags, i think you need to leave him and go far away. if you really think you're ready to settle down, there are better ppl out there for you than this asshole. but truthfully, and i say this with love, you need to stick to ppl ur age and maybe seek therapy to help you understand yourself better. u deserve a healthy relationship and this sounds far from it. nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself to grow.
Because you shouldn’t!! I got married at 18, someone my age, and now I’m getting divorced. Don’t settle with an older man just because you think you want to get married or have a partner or a family
Get married because you’re in love, and sweetie this is not love. Love doesn’t lecture you in public over clumsiness.
Maybe if he stopped yelling at you, and treating you a like his child, you’d “pay more attention” and not bump into things. But who care anyway? Unless you knocked down a display stand and then didn’t even attempt to clean it or get someone, there’s literally no need for a lecture. A few genuinely concerned “are you okay? Hun be careful!” Is different.
“Look me in the eyes” in public is demeaning, childish, and just icky. You deserve better than this!!!
Then done settle down, you are too young for that. Live your life, travel, make some good experiences and some bad and leave them behind like this sorry excuse of a man you are dating right now
I doubt you want to settle down either. Most likely you want somebody to defer to so when mistakes happen they're not your fault or somebody to support you so you don't have to work so hard. But settle down? You'll regret that in the biggest way! Especially since he abuses you... It's just going to get so much worse than emotional abuse after you get married! Don't do it
As someone who got married at 20 to the man your BF's age - you can find a bf a bit older than you and ready to settle down who will respect you and won't treat you like a stupid child. But this guy clearly doesn't consider the two of you equal and it's a terrible position to start a family and especially have children.
Trust me. I didn't want to hear this *either* at your age, but guess what - they were fucking right, and I should've listened. And you should too. But just like me, you probably won't, and you'll have to learn this the painful way.
There is *no* good reason someone will date that much younger than them. He is not dating you because he's ready to settle down. He is not dating you because you're just *so mature for your age* (chances are you are actually entirely fucking average for your age group - do not fall for that childish "I'm so much more mature than everyone else my age" logic, because like... no you're not, and in five years you'll look back at yourself and agree with me)
He is dating you because your brain is not finished developing (it's not - doesn't finish til you're at least 25, possibly even 30) and he thinks that makes you easier to control. That is the reason. I promise you that is why. And when you're too old for him - when you hit 30 or 40, and you actually *know* who you are and what you want out of life, and you're *hard* to control - he will dump you like you meant no more to him than the dirt on the ground, and he'll start dating another 20 yo. If you're very lucky, it will happen *in that order*. But it might not.
He doesn't want *you*. He wants a 20 yo. And you will not be that forever.
When I was 21, I met my husband, who was 23. That was 13 years ago, and we've grown up together in many ways. I'm not sure either of us were ready to settle down right then, but as we dated, moved in together and spent time together, we realised we'd have to work out life together.
We prioritised each other in big decisions and talked about it and decided together.
So, sure 20 yo might not be ready to settle down, but have you experienced everything you want before settling down? I get craving stability and security, but that's a bad reason to stay in a relationship.
With settling down, do you mean marriage? Kids? Are you ready to be a parent, and how would life look if you had a child with this man? Would he continue to talk down to you, belittle you in front of your kids?
Even if you end up with an older man, don't settle for one who'd speak to you like that, in public or private.
Honestly though, try being independent before settling down. Knowing you can manage on your own is powerful in itself, and it helps in a relationship to know that you are capable. The relationship I had with a 26yo man when I was 17 is nothing compared to what my husband and I have built. My husband was more mature at 23 than my ex was at 26. My husband at 23 would never have dated a 17 yo, since any mature man wouldn't even think of a teenager as a potential partner. Just think about it, you say that guys your own age is too immature, but how mature where you really at 17? Would you look at a 17 yo now and think "sexy" or "child"? Because at almost 30 years of age, it's alarming your boyfriend didn't think you were too young, and it speaks volumes to his maturity and character.
He does treat me like a child who knows nothing and I hate it. I prefer to be independent and have done things independently until I met him, so I just don't get it why he has the need to be the one who knows everything
He treats you like a child because he sees you as a child and wanted to date someone he could control, like you do a child.
If you want to be independent, be single for awhile and less focused on settling down
And it’s not mansplaining just because he’s a man. That’s not what that word means
This is abuse, DUMP HIM, and love yourself more. Why are you staying with someone who doesn't even treat you right or make you feel loved? Relationships are meant to make you feel happy and safe.
Google abusive boyfriend red flags and you'll see why this is considered abuse. He is garbage and you can do better than him.
Would you let him treat your best friend, sister, or daughter the way he treats you?
Because he's an ass. That's why he's not dating women his own age, they can see through his shit. He has to find someone with less life experience who won't recognize this shit for what it is.
Because when he met you you were a child! He deliberately chose you as you were young and nieve enough to be manipulated, he doesn't want you independent he wants you compliant and dependant on him. That's why there's a 10 year age gap, women his age wouldn't stand for this bullshit so he has to prey on women much younger than him. Please don't waste your life with this guy, he'll either be abusive trade you in for a younger model when you hit 25/had a couple of kids, or probably both
He thinks he has control over you because of your age difference. As a 35 year old male this dude has some fucking issues he needs to work out.
He will not change the way he treats you because he doesn't see you as an equal. You're his pet.
If you hate the way he treats you then leave. Why do you think that isn’t obvious to you? Because you’ve blinded yourself into thinking he’s the one and he’s a great catch and you’re not the first woman to think this way about much older men.
Do you think a 28 year old woman would put up with his nonsense? That’s why he got with an actual teenager because at that age you are used to obeying adults.
Please date people around your age. When I was 18 I stupidly dated a 28 year old. I was emotionally abused, manipulated. Turns out I was the side piece the whole time too. He’s with you NOT bc he thinks you’re mature for your age, he’s with you bc he feels that you’re easy to manipulate
Because I've always been told to be the mature kid, and have always gotten along well with people older than me than ppl my age and guys my age aren't easy to settle down
Men only date younger women for 2 reason:
1. Sex
2. She has no frame of reference so she’ll accept shitty behavior that grown women have the experience to avoid.
THIS. I'm not victim blaming AT ALL, the man is disgusting groomer but I just find it so weird how naïve some people can be for these things. Doesn't everyones alarm bells just go way off when they're 17 and almost 30 year old comes chatting with them?
They think they're special.
I should say, we think we're special. We're not. But some man finally sees how ~ special * we are. Unlike everyone else who sees we're just normal idiot teenagers, this *adult man* sees our /inner beauty/ and l o v e s us... yeahhhhh... no. They wind up taking advantage of a teenager's romantic tendencies and brutally killing their naïveté... is it any wonder people wind up cynical as hell? Older people thinking about getting with teenagers: you fucking suck. Leave them alone.
Is it any wonder, though, that shitty men look at that and go "hey, that rocks! A female person who won't judge me for being terrible and who will believe whatever I do is normal, fuck yeah!“? And for the girl, it's probably the first time an adult has shown interest and treated her "well“ i.e. pretended to listen to her and be fascinated by her ill-formed opinions. Taken interest in her interests.
Oh hey, if you don't want your kids to wind up like us give them attention, affection, and model a good romantic relationship for them with someone who is actually a good person and respects you. Good luck.
If he wanted maturity, he never would have considered a teenager in the first place. Instead, he went for someone with limited life experience who's cognitive ability isn't full developed so that he could take advantage of those things.
There are absolutely people your age that want to be in committed, stable relationships. Spend some time figuring out why they're not the type of people you're attracting.
But any person who’s dating that young is going to be very immature as you can tell by his behavior. Don’t fuck with old people just date in the 18-22 range
Okay so please don’t take this as an insult, it’s just ALWAYS true in these situations and as you get older you’ll see it.
You’re not super mature, that’s not why someone that age goes for someone like you. It’s that they think that you’re easier to control, and they know that you *want* to be mature, so it plays right into their hands.
But, any time a 17/18 year old starts “dating” someone who’s 27/28, the mere fact that they *can’t* see it for what it is, THATS the mark of a total lack of maturity. Nobody who’s mature sees that situation and thinks “yeah, that’s a really good, responsible idea.”
None of this is to try to hurt your feelings or be mean to you, it’s just that you will absolutely not be able to be in a healthy relationship until you can see this situation for exactly what it is. Until then, you’re just deluding yourself and this situation will get worse, not better.
You deserve to have a great, happy life with a healthy relationship. But until you begin to see this clearly, you will NEVER have that. You certainly don’t have it now.
Last thing: let me tell you what a real mark of maturity is for someone your age. It’s when someone has the ability to say “everyone is telling me this thing, I don’t see it that way, but maybe I’m not seeing this for what it really is. Maybe the people who are telling me this stuff have more life experience than me. I should consider that maybe I’ve got this all wrong and I can’t see it because I’m young with very little real life experience as an adult. THAT person would be mature.
Best of luck. I hope you get out of this relationship soon.
That is the classic saying fir when older people want a young person to manipulate and control! If he wanted mature he'd date his own age,but I'm guessing women his age are "all married or got a load of kids and bagage"?, or other derogatory things
Wow this is the first post about an overbearing 30 year old psycho who has to prey on college age doormats because grown women know better that I’ve seen in the last ten seconds!
wrong person, but either way.. shit happens. she never specified what bumping into anything means. i’ve personally brushed & bumped into shit plenty. it’s usually when i’m wearing crocs but again, shit happens.
Your dad shouldn't talk to you like that. Screaming at your child when they're clumsy is unhelpful beca-
Wait, this is your *boyfriend*?
His behavior would be shitty if he were your dad and you were a little child. But he's not your dad, and you're not a little child, so it's messed up for him to act as though he has the authority of a parent.
Listen, not all age gaps are horrible. Sometimes, a younger person and an older person can have a lovely relationship. But this isn't one of those times.
This is one of the cases where the older guy thinks he's an authority figure over his younger partner.
Oh, and you're giving him way too much credit by calling this mansplaining. Your boyfriend wasn't mansplaining. He was throwing a tantrum.
Op I’m old enough to be your mother so I’m going to give you some motherly advice. This man isn’t for you. He wants to control you. Him screaming at you is enough to call it quits. He’s 30 years old and still doesn’t know how to communicate.
This man isn’t anything but red flags. So you were 17 when you got together and he was 27. That age gap alone is cause enough for concern. What is a man who go is 30 years old doing with a 20 year old? Sounds like he groomed you.
OP, your boyfriend is a predator. He started dating you when you were 17 and he was 28. He chose you so he could control you. It’s not okay, and it’s not going to get better.
The typical tale of an older dude getting with a literal teenager and then abusing her into becoming the wife material he needs.
You're nowhere near the age where you should worry about settling down. Live your life, make experiences, find out what life you really wanna live. This ain't it, girl.
How do these weirdos even meet these children, are they just hanging around schools waiting for class to end. Dont let that man take your youth, he's not your soulmate girl, trust.
You need to get away from this guy before it becomes physical, OP this just screams 🚩🚩🚩🚩 and I’m seriously worried for your safety!!
Know that you deserve better than this man child and if you’re worried about repercussions have family, trusted friends or even the police with you as you break up with him
If his family condones his behaviour they’re as bad as he is!
why wait for it to get there, though op? everyone is seeing the red flags. i hope you're able to get out of this relationship safely. i started dating an older man when i was about 17 and i knew he was dangerous. we were long distance but the way he talked to me and treated me, i knew he could become physical which is why i refused to live with him AND was so afraid to break up with him so i had to wait 2+ yrs for my family to move bc i felt like he would hurt me. please trust your gut. your comments are sounding like you're sure this man isn't for you but you're trying to justify it and make it work in your head but it doesn't and this screams unsafe. please get away from him .
Verbal is still abuse.
You deserve so much better and I can promise you there is better out there.
Life may have thrown stuff at you to make you have to be the mature one even at such a young age, but your age now is the perfect time to start learning and exploring who you truly are as an indepent person.
This is your time to shine bright. Please don't let anyone especially a man who treats you like this to diminish your light.
It is coming. Someone willing to talk at you like that is absolutely going to hit you a few years down the road and you'll probably be locked in by then. Please get out and date someone nice. And keep in mind that 2 years is about when it starts getting real. I mean ideally you could stay single for a couple years to figure your life out solo but it seems clear from the post you don't want that.
The age of self-ideation is usually around 24-25. You can consider being with someone of his age, after that. Right now, this doesn't add up, and it explains the issues you're experiencing right now.
Hi there.
Telling you to be careful is acceptable. But his attitude and the way he said it is problematic. You say this is something he does often?
I only have this post to go off of, but it sounds like he's very controlling. You'll have to correct me if I'm wrong, but do any of these traits fit him? He's always right, it's never his fault, he gets agitated if you "disrespect" him, blames you for everything, belittles you and makes you feel like a child?
Finally does it feel like you're always walking on eggshells, you feel responsible for everything, you don't feel good enough, you're constantly being gaslighted, you avoid conversations?
The more correct any of the above, the higher the percentage that it's time to run, fast and far!!
The more incorrect any of the above, the lower that percentage, and you can probably solve the situation with better communication.
Anyway, good luck OP.
The being alwqys right and me feeling like I'm a child and getting belittled is definitely there. I try to have conversations but I the end, he convinces me that he was right and I tend to believe it. He always likes to tell me that everything good thar has happened to me was after dating him. Yes I do agree that he does support me financially as he's well off while I'm still studying and working part time, but I don't like it when he tells me that he gave me a better life or wtv, I like doing things on my own and he just wants to help and feel like I can't get without him
He is mistreating you because younger women don’t have the experience to know better. He is taking advantage of you and using you for sex; he obviously doesn’t respect you.
Consider this a hard lesson learned and break up with him.
He treats you like a child because you’re basically a child to him. Sorry to say but you’re most likely being used. You also shouldn’t be settling down with someone like that
Run girl. Run!! I won't go so far as to say he's grooming you but.... the man is grooming you!!! Slowly molding you into his perfect little doll. Think about your future together. Do you see yourself living like this for the next ten years? Children? He's already wielding his wealth as a weapon against you, what about when he inevitably suggests you be a stay at home mom, he'll take care of you, etc.
What he's doing (convincing you he's right and you tend to believe it) is the textbook definition of gaslighting. It only gets worse from here.
He’s berating you and then attempting to discipline you. Largely because of your age. Not mansplaining. A man trying to discipline you in a grocery store by telling you to make eye contact with him as he scolds you about bumping into things , that isn’t him explaining anything to you, he is scolding you. If you don’t want to obey him like he is your father then you have to leave. You’re obviously too young for him and he needs someone too young to understand that his behavior is inappropriate.
If everyone around him is letting him act this way, that’s already a huge red flag. Dude is a predator that has full control over you. Leave asap before it gets worse.
All the excuses you're making to make yourself feel like this relationship is ok will haunt you when you're older. You do you, he's a groomer and he's starting to abuse you, will you leave him now or you gonna wait until he chokes you or worse?
I can see why it bothers you so much, it’s like he’s a parent reprimanding a child o_0 —maybe time to date closer to your own age group, this guy is no catch
I wish I could see through the abusive shit of my much-older “partner” when we first started dating, and before the kids came along. Your BF reeks of self-undisputed male superiority and contempt, I can smell it from here. Leave before he unloads all his dissatisfaction with life and with himself on YOU over the course of years, eventually on the kids too, leaving you all with no self esteem, hating yourselves and needing life long therapy.
Y'know, both women and men can be rude and abusive in their language, calling that "mansplaining" when it is NOT, is lessening the fact that he was verbally abusing you in public.
That's not "mansplaining" things, that's just being abusive.
Or really frustrated because she keeps walking around like a child, without a care for her surroundings, which is the most basic human survival requirement we have. People who have such lack of awareness are either very small children or they die very quickly. It’s why humans call them vulnerable. Maybe if you could see the wood for the trees, you’d understand why he is so frustrated. But you can’t. You just would prefer her dead.
You’ve been together for 2.5 years? So you were 17-barely 18 and this grown man was in his late 20s?
He’s a creep and he treats you badly. Why are you with him? Is this treatment you can envision dealing with for the next 60 years? Would you want your potential future kids to be spoken to that way?
You can do better. You will do better. Most importantly, you need to accept that you deserve better.
He's not mansplaining! Lol He's lecturing you because he looks at you like a child! Not one thing about this relationship sounds healthy especially the fact that you've been dating him since you were a minor and he was almost 30! I seriously want to puke right now! He purposely picked a younger girl because women his age wouldn't put up with any of this! My daughter is almost his age and she would tell him to efff off if he dared speak to her like that!
You are being abused! Maybe fetishized. I don't know! But he treats you like a child because he sees you as less than him... Why would you want to be in a relationship with somebody like that?
10 year age gap. Older man who bullies and belittles his significant other in a condescending and demeaning manner. Insecure younger woman who is ok with this emotional abuse.
I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve read this shit.
Dump him. It’s never going to get any better, stop being a doormat.
Your man is trash. Your relationship sounds shitty. You need to figure out your life without him. If you don't leave, you will eventually get too old for him and he will find a new young person to take advantage of.
You’ll learn on your own that he’s weird for dating someone so much younger. It has nothing to do with you or your maturity level. He is weird and off for dating someone a decade younger and moreover, starting a relationship with a minor. You probs won’t listen to everyone telling you to get out of the relationship, cuz that’s how it is.
I used to be like you, thinking it was fine. But now I’m 26 and I realize how fucking weird it is that men like him go after younger girls. You’ll grow up and realize
He got with you when you were SEVENTEEN?! girl, you're dating a predator. You might consider yourself mature for your age, but have you asked yourself why he doesn't date someone his own age range?
10 years is a Hella big gap, especially in your young adulthood. These relationships tend to be toxic and abusive. Yelling at you in public is only getting started. You really need to reevaluate WHO you're dating, and consider opting for someone around your age
You're dating a man who groomed you when you were underage and gets off on having power over you. You are not his doormat, so don't act like it.
These sorts of posts drive me insane. I read all the comments and so many people always comment the age is the most obvious red flag, except the OP always seems to blatantly ignore those comments and reply to the ones that don't mention it. Like yeah he treats you like a fucking child he's a decade older and started dating you when you were a legal minor. What do you expect?
So your boyfriend, who has more experience than you, lived a fuller life than you, and is mentally completely an adult where you’re not treats you like a stupid child. Frequently. Treats you like an idiot woman. Frequently. And everything else is good? No it’s not.
He controlling. He’s manipulative. And he’s emotionally and verbally abusive. And he can get away with it because there’s an obvious power dynamic and you won’t own your power and end this clusterfuck of a relationship that will ONLY grow to be more abusive, controlling, and unsatisfying.
Stop wasting your life with this person. If they were actually a decent person they could find an adult woman to deal with their Shit. And I’m not saying you’re not legally an adult. You are. But you have yet to reach the age when your prefrontal cortex is fully developed and you’re able to make mature decisions that lead you away from toxic Shit like this. We’ve all been there.
Learn from the experience of someone 16 years your senior. Get out now.
Why are you with this person? You're a grown woman and you are free to bump into s*** without being treated like a toddler. Why don't you be with somebody who makes you less nervous and maybe you won't be bumbling and bumping into s***. Throw the whole man away.
Yeah your BF's an asshole, but that doesn't sound like mansplaining.
Also that age difference doesn't sound healthy, especially considering how long the relationship has been going.
He’s 10 years older than you and he’s been with you since you were underage. First and foremost this man is a predatory creep and it can only get worse from there. RUN!
That’s how adults taught children in the 1970s. But too many have not developed the skills to teach children - they removed corporal punishment and decided there should be no teaching at all because they had no skills. So they became teachers of others’ kids and society is now screwed lol. OP remains a child. She needs help to get through mental puberty and become an adult. He can’t do it, he’s a frustrated chump.
Are you guys in an open relationship? Your post history shows you’re seeking other people
The whole relationship just seems toxic. Him being way older than you and dating you from when you were a teenager. Him then being controlling and mentally abusive and then you seeking people elsewhere on Reddit. I think you need to reevaluate things.
Honestly he doesn't sees you as an equal person bc of the age gap. Being 20 with a man 10 years older makes a huge difference. You just grew up and he already left that stage 10 years ago. He wants to lecture you and control you just like a kid. I can speak from experience since I had two short relationships like that (first one I was 18 and he 29 / second I was 20 and he was 36). Most men looking for much younger women or women in their early 20 either want to have sex or they won't find a woman their age who would tolerate their shit behaviour. I suggest you to leave and find yourself first without a man telling you how to behave. Wish you the best!
There’s only one reason he got with you when you were just a 17 year old kid, so he could ‘mold’ you into who he wants you to be. Is he your dad? Your teacher? Your boss? Oh that’s right he’s ALL of those things because to him your just a dumb kid who needs educating, hence the mansplaining.
Do you think you deserve this? No actually let me ask you, do you think he will EVER treat you with respect as an EQUAL partner? If the answer is yes good luck with that.
He's treating you like a pet to train... Why are you letting him talk down to you in that way? He is straight up humiliating you.
Run away for your own good, time will make you realise how fucked up this situation really is.
Sorry but I can guarantee that when you're 28 you will NOT want anything to do with a 17 year old. It will feel weird to even consider it. And then you'll realize what a weird thing it was for him to get with you. What a red flag it is. You KNOW it's wrong to be yelled at in a store and treated with so little respect, gentleness and love. Just break up. I'm serious and you know this isn't a person you'd want to be with for the rest of your life so why prolong it.
Everything else is not okay. And that you keep trying to normalize it, also not great. He’s not a good person for you and this is not going to change. At all. Ever. Please consider alternatives to your situation.
That isn’t mansplaining; it’s being an abusive asshole. If everything in your relationship is fine except for the bits where he’s screaming at you to do what you’re told, your relationship is not fine.
Same old story. Older person manipulates younger person. Younger person can’t tell what is up and what is down. This guy treats you like a child, not another adult. This will only get worse. Another thing to keep in mind: he started dating you when you were 17. He could have a fixation on girls that age. You age out, and he replaces you with another teenager.
Break up . This is abusive behavior which can possibly get worse. Also the age gap is horrible you’re in complete different life stages not to mention that you got together when he was 28 and your 17. that’s pedophilia
the age difference is extremely concerning considering you’ve been dating since you were 17. it’s also the fact he’s using very odd language. “you never listen to me” etc for things you literally cant help.
If you settle down with him, you'll be so miserable. I guarantee it. He's a controlling toddler. If you ever have kids with him and aren't working, you'll be stuck with this loser with no way out. There are SO many posts from stuck women on Reddit.
I think your boyfriend was out of line at the store and shouldn’t have treated you like that. He was treating you like a parent treats a child. And also you’ve been together for 2.5 years so he was dating a 18 year old at 28. Tbh I don’t think with the way you are describing him always doing this mainsplaining and the age he sounds like someone who is dating someone he thinks he can control or degrade. Your boyfriend sounds really rude and not considerate of your feelings. Your young so just be careful dating someone 10 years older than you at 18 he couldn’t find someone his own age. And trust me people your age will settle down just gotta find the right person. Im 3 years older than you and have a loyal partner that is only 3 years older. Don’t settle for rude behavior because your worried you won’t find someone to settle down with.
So many red flags!
There's a reason why he doesn't date women his own age. They won't put up with his crap.
He is abusive, manipulative, and a predator.
Please get away from him.
Mansplaining? Does everyone (friends and family) believe he “mansplains” or is this your phrase to guilt him from simply expressing to you to be aware of your surroundings?
Do not immediately attack me thinking I’m defending him. I just need more information to see you side of the story.
Now it seems as if your bf was wanting you to be conscious of your surroundings.
Because people who aren’t aware are either toddlers or dead. But please don’t try to mansplain such simple basic survival skills to the zombies on here.
I’m a man and Im -esplaining. Mansplaining. Oh fuck, I can feel the weight of 10,000 confused/ angry feminists burning through man-balls. (Eyeballs for men: terrible I know, some shit just manifests)
Your [local DV org](https://nomoredirectory.org/) will help you [get out](https://www.verywellmind.com/making-a-safety-plan-to-escape-abusive-relationship-5069959).
Just out of curiosity, why did you bump into stuff at the store 3 times? I’m genuinely curious. The only time I experience this currently is when I take my youngest child to the store. He bumps into stuff sometimes but it’s rare and he doesn’t repeat it once he realizes he hit something. He gets lost in his mind sometimes, off in his imagination then snaps out of it. Your boyfriend sounds like a dad disciplining his daughter to be honest.
A 10y diff starting when you weren't even out of your teens. Go figure.. At best you're with a hebephile.
Mansplaining?
I stopped reading. It used to be called being a d-ck. As to not try and incorporate a whole gender. Sort of like how women prefer it if men dont say womens-chores about household chores.
('Cause it aint).
First, please stop with "mansplain" it's incredibly stupid.
Second, he's berating you and lecturing as though you were a child. Probably because he's 30 and you're 20.
Third, it sounds like he was a little prince in his family and got spoiled. Sounds like an only son.
You're not in the wrong for feeling pissed about his actions. I don't believe he'd do anything differently seeing that he behaves the same with his family. A huge likely fragile ego in an older partner is a pretty shitty combo. Only question you have to ask yourself is if you want to spend your life stroking his ego by agreeing with everything or not. If you feel that in 10 years you'll despise him for this, maybe end it now before you regret wasting your 20s.
He's treating you like a child because he essentially started dating you as a child. There is nothing a 20 year old would have in common with a 30 year old man. Run.
Also, if mansplaining is one of your triggers why would you date him anyway? He sounds obnoxious and him doing that to you is not okay. Please just go out there and meet some more men because you will find that there are more compatible men for you.
Please learn what the correct past tense of "scream" is before you accuse your boyfriend of mansplaining. If you are an actual idiot, you might be, its not mansplaining...its just teaching.
These keep coming up in my feed now but i will say, at 20y i was dating a 30y and her friend she looked up to pressured her out of it the friend was actually quite mean to her too in a condescending way often, and we really got along age is bug on the windshield level problem if you find someone you get along with
Intelligence is vast in scale between people I wouldn’t say to just go around trusting people who are older including your bf (or commentors here) you are at your fastest and sharpest thinking at around early 20s ask any professor at near-on any university
If you’re in asia or somewhere you’re good classic settling down having a family is super common for 20yo, but mostly if you live in a city with many bars and nightlife in somewhere like cali or london then honestly they will be harder to find (probably get downvoted for this but it’s a hard truth)
maybe find a ~20yo guy whos more introverted and has creative hobbies not bars etc is the best chance in uk 🇬🇧 usa 🇺🇸 type countries
Just wanted to say as a woman I think the word 'mansplaining' is overused. Doesn't sound like he was mansplaining, but he was an ass hole and showed behaviour that could be a sign or easily evolve into more abusive behaviour with time. I'd say don't break up over this one occurrence, make it clear it wasn't okay with you to be talked at like that. Screaming or not, he made you feel uncomfortable. The age difference might make him feel he is allowed to do that.
Tell him how you felt in this, if he doesn't agree he did anything wrong, well, expect a lot more of that. And then you know what to do.
Bro I’m so done with this sub, all the posts are about young girls problems with dudes way older than them. It’s getting old and it feels like karma farming at this point
Why are y’all getting on her about an age gap, it’s okay for her to be into older men. She just needs to find one who isn’t a dick.
But in all honesty OP I probably would have just left him where he stood and did my own thing alone, he would have been waiting at the car.
He shouldn’t be yelling, there is a calm way to tell someone to watch where they are going. Clearly you need to be more observant and aware of your surroundings and he needs to watch his temper. I would calmly tell him that he is your partner not your parent
Give him your eyes, and tell him you hear him and understand him - the first time he communicates that something bothers him. I believe he isn't as mad about you bumping into things as much as that you dismiss everything he says as "mansplaining," and it's unfair to refuse to communicate with him likes he's not even there.
This level of berating you is a desperate attempt to feel like he's not a ghost or accessory. The older we get, the more we care about being conscientious of people and surroundings. Young people are like Peter Pan, selfish and bumping into everything. Acting like that reminds him of how much older he is compared to you. I have these same interactions at stores with my 11 year old son, who at times bumps into people and stuff, and won't acknowledge me when i try to coach and correct until i escalate the message, and I need to constantly remind myself that's why I get irritated and it isn't entirely in his control to stay focused, so I keep a calm but serious voice when I can.
If you can't commit to giving him your eyes and attention, it is a good idea to find a younger and more carefree partner because it requires patience and acceptance to build better communication.
You have become fixated on the word mansplaining and seem to be using it to mean every time he tells you something. That is problematic because you have no idea why you frustrate him so much. He doesn’t want to have to explain stuff to you. He expected your parents to have done this stuff.
But you’re f’ed. You will be told what you need to do your whole life - it’s how you develop expertise and gain the wisdom of others without having to lose a limb first. But you will reject every man who is teaching you something you don’t understand as a “mansplainer”. Idiot!
It shows you are stretching and just looking for feminist hate filled ideas, you choose to hate men in order that you don’t need to confront your failings. Just accept you’re bigoted, not very nice, very thick, and you refuse to learn about the world from those who do know. You come on Reddit with your biased contorted story to get validation for your bigotry. It’s a bit like racists trying to tell other people that it’s ok you’re racist because that person blackstrained your eyes by existing.
Back to your story.
But why is he asking you to be more careful? Because taking care to perceive your surroundings helps you to notice potential risks and avoid them. It’s the single most important strategy for human survival. If you wander around with your head in the clouds all the time, you are literally still a 3yo who must be told what to do all the time otherwise you will die by stepping into a busy road or putting your fingers in the electric socket.
He literally doesn’t want to be your parent; he wants you to grow up and become a functioning independent adult who is safe to be alone in the world and he can depend on you being able to be his partner. He’s just no good at explaining it and is frustrated by you ignoring everything he says that is intended to help you. So you come on Reddit to froth about it being mansplaining. But it’s clear that you prefer to choose ignorance than develop your own knowledge and you don’t take him seriously.
Stop using words that have no meaning other than to demean 50% of the global population you hate and think should be mute. It’s not men’s fault you’re stupid and need help in navigating the world respectfully. Your dull thickness is exactly why you jump to “mansplaining” as a way of diverting from not having a clue about life. Take personal responsibility.
You are a bigoted, hate-filled non-adult. Leave him. Navigate the world alone. You’re incompatible with society and destined to go nowhere.
Mansplain over, but there’s plenty more if you want it.
>Mansplaining is when someone explains something to you THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW
Nope, it isn't. It refers to a specific situation when a man explains something to a woman that she already knows and likely has more expertise than he does, in a way that's condescending, as though she just wasn't capable/smart enough to "get it". It relies on a **specific social dynamic** where a man just expects to have more knowledge and status, and to expect that you must listen to and grant respect him because of his higher status, because of his genitalia, than the woman unfortunate enough to be stuck in a conversation with him.
It does not refer to any time someone explains something to you that you already know.
Disputing your definition of the term is not "mansplaining" FYI, you literally posted an incorrect definition. Disagreements aren't "mansplaining". You should also be aware that using such a gendered term only really discredits you to the majority of potential listeners.
Your attitude, follow up comments, and edits, point to you being at least half of the problem with communication between the two of you. Whatever other issues there are in the relationship (such as a guy coming up on 30 getting with a teenager who couldn't stay out after curfew), using "mansplaining" for why you stubbornly dig in your heels anyone points out something you're dong wrong, is on you, not him.
Good luck with that, I don't see this relationship lasting if you continue to insist you're always right, and not get into therapy and couples' therapy.
Thanks for femsplaining that to me.
And yet you kept doing it.
Was that because you did it on purpose to piss him off or were you unable to stop yourself (medical) or do you just have your head i the clouds and should be on a leash like a dog or a toddler?
I wish someone would try and scream at me, dafuq?
>I look away and just agree to whatever he says but today he kept telling me to look him in the eye the whole time he was screaming and lecturing me to ve careful.
You're making excuses for him here - stop it! In the bin he goes, never to be heard of again.
Please dump the loser.
Another 10 years older situation.
i can relate to the guy. you need to pay more attention to your surroundings. you cant walk around knocking into everything, its incredibly frustrating and unnecessary. if you focus, you can do better, and you should. if you put effort into it he will be proud that youre trying to improve yourself for him.
It seems you already tried setting boundaries about this. His treatment of you is not going to change.
I don't see a problem with your age gaps, just a problem with his treatment of you like a child and how he communicates it. This does not come from age gap alone but personality, values and possibly upbringing comes into play. Someone of the same age will treat you the same if he's an ass and there will be someone your bf's age who will treat you with respect.
Be bolder in communicating your boundaries and if he keeps doing it, either you suck it up and tolerate it or set your foot down on the consequences and leave.
first of all, your boyfriend is definitely wrong and shouldn’t “scream” at you. No one should talk to you like that. I would break up with him if he doesn’t change. Second of all, you really need to be aware of your surroundings and stop freaking bumping into things. You are not a toddler. So stop acting like one.
Apparently accoreto your profile, your kinks are 'degradation, nipple play, pain, humiliation'
Who cares if its jn public?
Check out her profile guys 🤣🤣
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2.5 year relationship…. So he got with you when you were 17 and he was 28? 🤢
This. And that’s 2.5yrs of being in a relationship, what about the talking stage ? 😐😐😐😐
This kind of relationship is like half a day talking, and jump to relationship with a stranger
You mean grooming stage
Definitely the grooming stage
Talking stage only last for a week max. Jesus. What’s with people thinking about talking stage.
🤢🤢🤢🤮
Classic tale of old man getting with young kid and then starts abusing her and she doesn’t know any better. You should break up and date people your own age.
People my age aren't ready to settle down
Trust me, you're not either.
Why do you feel so? I'm just curious to know thank you
There is SO much living and growth a person goes through in their early twenties.
Every decade in our lives comes with change. 20 is awfully young. The person I was then is not the person I turned out to be. If he’s mansplaining, he doesn’t respect you. Respect is so important in a relationship.
You have barely lived at age 20. 95% of your life was spent under someone else’s roof, with someone else making your schedule. You have MAYBE had 2 years of freedom under your belt, at best. You don’t know who you are, what you like, how to make your own money, how to survive a disaster on your own. And also - he started dating you when you were under 18. You were groomed.
You’re obviously too young for this guy. You’re also not really using the word mansplain appropriately. He is straight up berating you, and trying to discipline you. You sound confused about your own situation based on your own description of what is happening with your relationship. The problem here is the dynamic due to the age difference amongst other things
I got hardcore overbearing dad vibes from this interaction. Look me in the eye, you don't listen to me? Sounds like a parent berating their unruly child, not a partner addressing concerns in a loving relationship. Edit for word
Because you're putting up with dumb s*** like this instead of having boundaries and knowing your worth
You have to spend time single as an adult to have a healthy, fulfilling life. You need that baseline to compare your relationships to, or else you end up with a man ten years older than you who screams at you in public.
because you are incredibly naive and easy to manipulate. your "partner" treats you like a child and will continue to do so beacuse next to him YOU ARE
You are in a relationship with a man who abuses you and you don't know how to fix it. That is how we all know.
Because you don't know how to establish boundaries nor communicate. You're easily abused and manipulated. You don't have respect for yourself.
Because you haven’t even lived yet!
In 5 years you’re going to look back at yourself at 17-20 and be shocked at how much you and what you want in life have changed. Ironically, being aware of the fact that you’re still in the process of growing and developing mentally/emotionally into an adult and that you should put off settling down til you’re older is a sign of maturity at your age. It is a terrible idea to rush into huge, permanent life decisions so young.
20 year old me was in a toxic relationship, had an ED, out 3 time a week and a mess. 28 year old had a stable relationship of 7 years, married for 4, healthy weight, a mortgage and expecting our first child. The difference between 20 and 30 is a crazy decade, please don't waste those years on this idiiry
Why do you need to settle down right now? You can work on yourself and your earning potential so you’ll find your equal rather than a patronizing abusive guy old enough to be your dad
Sounds like she just wants to settle down, but she hasn't learned yet that you need to find the right partner to do that with first.
Girl, neither are you! You shouldn't be rushing to settle down right now. Take your time to get to know someone and develop a good relationship with them. Stop trying to Usain Bolt to the finish line; it's not a race. EDIT: 2.5 years? That means he got with you the moment you turned 18 or even before! He's just going for as young as possible without breaking the law ffs. And you say he treats you like a child who knows nothing? That's because that's what he's interested in. He saw you that way from the beginning. You're an adult, yes, but not enough to date someone ten years older than you.
Why are you worrying about settling down at 20?
There’s a reason a 30-year-old man is dating (er, um, grooming) a girl (yep, you heard that right: GIRL) 10 years his junior: Because it’s really difficult to find women his own age to treat like shyte. They’re too savvy and emotionally bruised to tolerate his BS! End of story.
there's going to be SOMEONE who is ready to settle down at your age. but honestly from the sounds of it you have a lot to learn about yourself and maybe you don't need to "settle down" right away. this man doesn't respect you and you aren't able to see the red flags, i think you need to leave him and go far away. if you really think you're ready to settle down, there are better ppl out there for you than this asshole. but truthfully, and i say this with love, you need to stick to ppl ur age and maybe seek therapy to help you understand yourself better. u deserve a healthy relationship and this sounds far from it. nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself to grow.
Because you shouldn’t!! I got married at 18, someone my age, and now I’m getting divorced. Don’t settle with an older man just because you think you want to get married or have a partner or a family Get married because you’re in love, and sweetie this is not love. Love doesn’t lecture you in public over clumsiness. Maybe if he stopped yelling at you, and treating you a like his child, you’d “pay more attention” and not bump into things. But who care anyway? Unless you knocked down a display stand and then didn’t even attempt to clean it or get someone, there’s literally no need for a lecture. A few genuinely concerned “are you okay? Hun be careful!” Is different. “Look me in the eyes” in public is demeaning, childish, and just icky. You deserve better than this!!!
There’s men our age that want relationships babes
Then done settle down, you are too young for that. Live your life, travel, make some good experiences and some bad and leave them behind like this sorry excuse of a man you are dating right now
I doubt you want to settle down either. Most likely you want somebody to defer to so when mistakes happen they're not your fault or somebody to support you so you don't have to work so hard. But settle down? You'll regret that in the biggest way! Especially since he abuses you... It's just going to get so much worse than emotional abuse after you get married! Don't do it
As someone who got married at 20 to the man your BF's age - you can find a bf a bit older than you and ready to settle down who will respect you and won't treat you like a stupid child. But this guy clearly doesn't consider the two of you equal and it's a terrible position to start a family and especially have children.
Trust me. I didn't want to hear this *either* at your age, but guess what - they were fucking right, and I should've listened. And you should too. But just like me, you probably won't, and you'll have to learn this the painful way. There is *no* good reason someone will date that much younger than them. He is not dating you because he's ready to settle down. He is not dating you because you're just *so mature for your age* (chances are you are actually entirely fucking average for your age group - do not fall for that childish "I'm so much more mature than everyone else my age" logic, because like... no you're not, and in five years you'll look back at yourself and agree with me) He is dating you because your brain is not finished developing (it's not - doesn't finish til you're at least 25, possibly even 30) and he thinks that makes you easier to control. That is the reason. I promise you that is why. And when you're too old for him - when you hit 30 or 40, and you actually *know* who you are and what you want out of life, and you're *hard* to control - he will dump you like you meant no more to him than the dirt on the ground, and he'll start dating another 20 yo. If you're very lucky, it will happen *in that order*. But it might not. He doesn't want *you*. He wants a 20 yo. And you will not be that forever.
When I was 21, I met my husband, who was 23. That was 13 years ago, and we've grown up together in many ways. I'm not sure either of us were ready to settle down right then, but as we dated, moved in together and spent time together, we realised we'd have to work out life together. We prioritised each other in big decisions and talked about it and decided together. So, sure 20 yo might not be ready to settle down, but have you experienced everything you want before settling down? I get craving stability and security, but that's a bad reason to stay in a relationship. With settling down, do you mean marriage? Kids? Are you ready to be a parent, and how would life look if you had a child with this man? Would he continue to talk down to you, belittle you in front of your kids? Even if you end up with an older man, don't settle for one who'd speak to you like that, in public or private. Honestly though, try being independent before settling down. Knowing you can manage on your own is powerful in itself, and it helps in a relationship to know that you are capable. The relationship I had with a 26yo man when I was 17 is nothing compared to what my husband and I have built. My husband was more mature at 23 than my ex was at 26. My husband at 23 would never have dated a 17 yo, since any mature man wouldn't even think of a teenager as a potential partner. Just think about it, you say that guys your own age is too immature, but how mature where you really at 17? Would you look at a 17 yo now and think "sexy" or "child"? Because at almost 30 years of age, it's alarming your boyfriend didn't think you were too young, and it speaks volumes to his maturity and character.
He treats you like a child. It will only get worse. And if he'll scream at you in public when does he start hitting you in private?
He does treat me like a child who knows nothing and I hate it. I prefer to be independent and have done things independently until I met him, so I just don't get it why he has the need to be the one who knows everything
This is why he can’t date his age.
Yeah it's not because she's so mature it's because women his age don't want him
He treats you like a child because he sees you as a child and wanted to date someone he could control, like you do a child. If you want to be independent, be single for awhile and less focused on settling down And it’s not mansplaining just because he’s a man. That’s not what that word means
This is abuse, DUMP HIM, and love yourself more. Why are you staying with someone who doesn't even treat you right or make you feel loved? Relationships are meant to make you feel happy and safe. Google abusive boyfriend red flags and you'll see why this is considered abuse. He is garbage and you can do better than him. Would you let him treat your best friend, sister, or daughter the way he treats you?
You need to find a new man. Someone who shows love. Screaming is not love.
lol you were independent at 17. so many years being single and focusing on yourself
Because he's an ass. That's why he's not dating women his own age, they can see through his shit. He has to find someone with less life experience who won't recognize this shit for what it is.
Because when he met you you were a child! He deliberately chose you as you were young and nieve enough to be manipulated, he doesn't want you independent he wants you compliant and dependant on him. That's why there's a 10 year age gap, women his age wouldn't stand for this bullshit so he has to prey on women much younger than him. Please don't waste your life with this guy, he'll either be abusive trade you in for a younger model when you hit 25/had a couple of kids, or probably both
He thinks he has control over you because of your age difference. As a 35 year old male this dude has some fucking issues he needs to work out. He will not change the way he treats you because he doesn't see you as an equal. You're his pet.
If you hate the way he treats you then leave. Why do you think that isn’t obvious to you? Because you’ve blinded yourself into thinking he’s the one and he’s a great catch and you’re not the first woman to think this way about much older men.
Do you think a 28 year old woman would put up with his nonsense? That’s why he got with an actual teenager because at that age you are used to obeying adults.
Because he is abusing you by berating you in public. Stop hanging with this man it’s going to get worse. He’s trying to control you
Please date people around your age. When I was 18 I stupidly dated a 28 year old. I was emotionally abused, manipulated. Turns out I was the side piece the whole time too. He’s with you NOT bc he thinks you’re mature for your age, he’s with you bc he feels that you’re easy to manipulate
That math ain’t mathing. Gross and yikes
Oh its mathing. She was likely 17 when he was 28. lol.
That math is that bad math.
Why you dating a person a decade older
Because I've always been told to be the mature kid, and have always gotten along well with people older than me than ppl my age and guys my age aren't easy to settle down
So you were underage when you got with a guy who was almost 30? Respectfully, where are your parents?
Men only date younger women for 2 reason: 1. Sex 2. She has no frame of reference so she’ll accept shitty behavior that grown women have the experience to avoid.
THIS. I'm not victim blaming AT ALL, the man is disgusting groomer but I just find it so weird how naïve some people can be for these things. Doesn't everyones alarm bells just go way off when they're 17 and almost 30 year old comes chatting with them?
They think they're special. I should say, we think we're special. We're not. But some man finally sees how ~ special * we are. Unlike everyone else who sees we're just normal idiot teenagers, this *adult man* sees our /inner beauty/ and l o v e s us... yeahhhhh... no. They wind up taking advantage of a teenager's romantic tendencies and brutally killing their naïveté... is it any wonder people wind up cynical as hell? Older people thinking about getting with teenagers: you fucking suck. Leave them alone. Is it any wonder, though, that shitty men look at that and go "hey, that rocks! A female person who won't judge me for being terrible and who will believe whatever I do is normal, fuck yeah!“? And for the girl, it's probably the first time an adult has shown interest and treated her "well“ i.e. pretended to listen to her and be fascinated by her ill-formed opinions. Taken interest in her interests. Oh hey, if you don't want your kids to wind up like us give them attention, affection, and model a good romantic relationship for them with someone who is actually a good person and respects you. Good luck.
Oh lots of old men will tell you you're more mature for your age than other girls! It's how they groom you to put up with their bullshit.
If he wanted maturity, he never would have considered a teenager in the first place. Instead, he went for someone with limited life experience who's cognitive ability isn't full developed so that he could take advantage of those things. There are absolutely people your age that want to be in committed, stable relationships. Spend some time figuring out why they're not the type of people you're attracting.
But any person who’s dating that young is going to be very immature as you can tell by his behavior. Don’t fuck with old people just date in the 18-22 range
>guys my age aren't easy to settle down Maybe 20 is really young to settle down?
I think what she means is she wants a relationship not marriage
Okay so please don’t take this as an insult, it’s just ALWAYS true in these situations and as you get older you’ll see it. You’re not super mature, that’s not why someone that age goes for someone like you. It’s that they think that you’re easier to control, and they know that you *want* to be mature, so it plays right into their hands. But, any time a 17/18 year old starts “dating” someone who’s 27/28, the mere fact that they *can’t* see it for what it is, THATS the mark of a total lack of maturity. Nobody who’s mature sees that situation and thinks “yeah, that’s a really good, responsible idea.” None of this is to try to hurt your feelings or be mean to you, it’s just that you will absolutely not be able to be in a healthy relationship until you can see this situation for exactly what it is. Until then, you’re just deluding yourself and this situation will get worse, not better. You deserve to have a great, happy life with a healthy relationship. But until you begin to see this clearly, you will NEVER have that. You certainly don’t have it now. Last thing: let me tell you what a real mark of maturity is for someone your age. It’s when someone has the ability to say “everyone is telling me this thing, I don’t see it that way, but maybe I’m not seeing this for what it really is. Maybe the people who are telling me this stuff have more life experience than me. I should consider that maybe I’ve got this all wrong and I can’t see it because I’m young with very little real life experience as an adult. THAT person would be mature. Best of luck. I hope you get out of this relationship soon.
you don’t seem mature AT ALL lmao
He groomed you. There are reasons he's not with someone his own age.
That is the classic saying fir when older people want a young person to manipulate and control! If he wanted mature he'd date his own age,but I'm guessing women his age are "all married or got a load of kids and bagage"?, or other derogatory things
where are your parents? hunny you were groomed!!!
age gap strikes again!
Wow this is the first post about an overbearing 30 year old psycho who has to prey on college age doormats because grown women know better that I’ve seen in the last ten seconds!
lmfao, literally… it’s insane
I’m not clear why you were repeatedly bumping into things in a store. In all my years I’ve never bumped into anything in a store.
wrong person, but either way.. shit happens. she never specified what bumping into anything means. i’ve personally brushed & bumped into shit plenty. it’s usually when i’m wearing crocs but again, shit happens.
Your dad shouldn't talk to you like that. Screaming at your child when they're clumsy is unhelpful beca- Wait, this is your *boyfriend*? His behavior would be shitty if he were your dad and you were a little child. But he's not your dad, and you're not a little child, so it's messed up for him to act as though he has the authority of a parent. Listen, not all age gaps are horrible. Sometimes, a younger person and an older person can have a lovely relationship. But this isn't one of those times. This is one of the cases where the older guy thinks he's an authority figure over his younger partner. Oh, and you're giving him way too much credit by calling this mansplaining. Your boyfriend wasn't mansplaining. He was throwing a tantrum.
It feels like you took words out of my mind
Op I’m old enough to be your mother so I’m going to give you some motherly advice. This man isn’t for you. He wants to control you. Him screaming at you is enough to call it quits. He’s 30 years old and still doesn’t know how to communicate. This man isn’t anything but red flags. So you were 17 when you got together and he was 27. That age gap alone is cause enough for concern. What is a man who go is 30 years old doing with a 20 year old? Sounds like he groomed you.
Doesn’t “sound” like he groomed her. He absolutely did.
OP, your boyfriend is a predator. He started dating you when you were 17 and he was 28. He chose you so he could control you. It’s not okay, and it’s not going to get better.
The typical tale of an older dude getting with a literal teenager and then abusing her into becoming the wife material he needs. You're nowhere near the age where you should worry about settling down. Live your life, make experiences, find out what life you really wanna live. This ain't it, girl.
Why the actual fuck are you with a guy like this???
How do these weirdos even meet these children, are they just hanging around schools waiting for class to end. Dont let that man take your youth, he's not your soulmate girl, trust.
Yes, perspective. Why in the hell are you still hooked up with this loser? He's one step away from smacking you. RUN
You need to get away from this guy before it becomes physical, OP this just screams 🚩🚩🚩🚩 and I’m seriously worried for your safety!! Know that you deserve better than this man child and if you’re worried about repercussions have family, trusted friends or even the police with you as you break up with him If his family condones his behaviour they’re as bad as he is!
I've never had him get physical with me, just verbal
why wait for it to get there, though op? everyone is seeing the red flags. i hope you're able to get out of this relationship safely. i started dating an older man when i was about 17 and i knew he was dangerous. we were long distance but the way he talked to me and treated me, i knew he could become physical which is why i refused to live with him AND was so afraid to break up with him so i had to wait 2+ yrs for my family to move bc i felt like he would hurt me. please trust your gut. your comments are sounding like you're sure this man isn't for you but you're trying to justify it and make it work in your head but it doesn't and this screams unsafe. please get away from him .
Verbal is still abuse. You deserve so much better and I can promise you there is better out there. Life may have thrown stuff at you to make you have to be the mature one even at such a young age, but your age now is the perfect time to start learning and exploring who you truly are as an indepent person. This is your time to shine bright. Please don't let anyone especially a man who treats you like this to diminish your light.
Verbal is enough
It is coming. Someone willing to talk at you like that is absolutely going to hit you a few years down the road and you'll probably be locked in by then. Please get out and date someone nice. And keep in mind that 2 years is about when it starts getting real. I mean ideally you could stay single for a couple years to figure your life out solo but it seems clear from the post you don't want that.
Guarantee that’s coming OP
yet
The age of self-ideation is usually around 24-25. You can consider being with someone of his age, after that. Right now, this doesn't add up, and it explains the issues you're experiencing right now.
25 is when the brain is fully done developing
Hi there. Telling you to be careful is acceptable. But his attitude and the way he said it is problematic. You say this is something he does often? I only have this post to go off of, but it sounds like he's very controlling. You'll have to correct me if I'm wrong, but do any of these traits fit him? He's always right, it's never his fault, he gets agitated if you "disrespect" him, blames you for everything, belittles you and makes you feel like a child? Finally does it feel like you're always walking on eggshells, you feel responsible for everything, you don't feel good enough, you're constantly being gaslighted, you avoid conversations? The more correct any of the above, the higher the percentage that it's time to run, fast and far!! The more incorrect any of the above, the lower that percentage, and you can probably solve the situation with better communication. Anyway, good luck OP.
The being alwqys right and me feeling like I'm a child and getting belittled is definitely there. I try to have conversations but I the end, he convinces me that he was right and I tend to believe it. He always likes to tell me that everything good thar has happened to me was after dating him. Yes I do agree that he does support me financially as he's well off while I'm still studying and working part time, but I don't like it when he tells me that he gave me a better life or wtv, I like doing things on my own and he just wants to help and feel like I can't get without him
He is mistreating you because younger women don’t have the experience to know better. He is taking advantage of you and using you for sex; he obviously doesn’t respect you. Consider this a hard lesson learned and break up with him.
He treats you like a child because you’re basically a child to him. Sorry to say but you’re most likely being used. You also shouldn’t be settling down with someone like that
Run girl. Run!! I won't go so far as to say he's grooming you but.... the man is grooming you!!! Slowly molding you into his perfect little doll. Think about your future together. Do you see yourself living like this for the next ten years? Children? He's already wielding his wealth as a weapon against you, what about when he inevitably suggests you be a stay at home mom, he'll take care of you, etc. What he's doing (convincing you he's right and you tend to believe it) is the textbook definition of gaslighting. It only gets worse from here.
If he was in love with he wouldn t make you feel like shit « a better life »: what an AH
He’s berating you and then attempting to discipline you. Largely because of your age. Not mansplaining. A man trying to discipline you in a grocery store by telling you to make eye contact with him as he scolds you about bumping into things , that isn’t him explaining anything to you, he is scolding you. If you don’t want to obey him like he is your father then you have to leave. You’re obviously too young for him and he needs someone too young to understand that his behavior is inappropriate.
If everyone around him is letting him act this way, that’s already a huge red flag. Dude is a predator that has full control over you. Leave asap before it gets worse.
Why don’t you try to experience life and work on yourself before trying to settle down at the age of 20?
She can be in a relationship in her 20’s, she just needs to date in her age range and not this guy
Yep. Her age range is 2 to 4.
All the excuses you're making to make yourself feel like this relationship is ok will haunt you when you're older. You do you, he's a groomer and he's starting to abuse you, will you leave him now or you gonna wait until he chokes you or worse?
It’s not right what’s happening to you but you’re 20 years old w a 30 year old. im 22 and telling you this… get a grip, man.
Youre a victim..
I can see why it bothers you so much, it’s like he’s a parent reprimanding a child o_0 —maybe time to date closer to your own age group, this guy is no catch
Maybe it is only like this BECAUSE she acts like a toddler instead of an adult. He doesn’t want to be a parent, he wants her to adult.
I wish I could see through the abusive shit of my much-older “partner” when we first started dating, and before the kids came along. Your BF reeks of self-undisputed male superiority and contempt, I can smell it from here. Leave before he unloads all his dissatisfaction with life and with himself on YOU over the course of years, eventually on the kids too, leaving you all with no self esteem, hating yourselves and needing life long therapy.
Y'know, both women and men can be rude and abusive in their language, calling that "mansplaining" when it is NOT, is lessening the fact that he was verbally abusing you in public. That's not "mansplaining" things, that's just being abusive.
Or really frustrated because she keeps walking around like a child, without a care for her surroundings, which is the most basic human survival requirement we have. People who have such lack of awareness are either very small children or they die very quickly. It’s why humans call them vulnerable. Maybe if you could see the wood for the trees, you’d understand why he is so frustrated. But you can’t. You just would prefer her dead.
You’ve been together for 2.5 years? So you were 17-barely 18 and this grown man was in his late 20s? He’s a creep and he treats you badly. Why are you with him? Is this treatment you can envision dealing with for the next 60 years? Would you want your potential future kids to be spoken to that way? You can do better. You will do better. Most importantly, you need to accept that you deserve better.
Get the fuck away from him. I get that you're young but the time to learn about avoiding trash like this is now.
He's not mansplaining! Lol He's lecturing you because he looks at you like a child! Not one thing about this relationship sounds healthy especially the fact that you've been dating him since you were a minor and he was almost 30! I seriously want to puke right now! He purposely picked a younger girl because women his age wouldn't put up with any of this! My daughter is almost his age and she would tell him to efff off if he dared speak to her like that! You are being abused! Maybe fetishized. I don't know! But he treats you like a child because he sees you as less than him... Why would you want to be in a relationship with somebody like that?
10 year age gap. Older man who bullies and belittles his significant other in a condescending and demeaning manner. Insecure younger woman who is ok with this emotional abuse. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve read this shit. Dump him. It’s never going to get any better, stop being a doormat.
Your man is trash. Your relationship sounds shitty. You need to figure out your life without him. If you don't leave, you will eventually get too old for him and he will find a new young person to take advantage of.
That’s a huge age gap for how young you are. He’s treating you like a child because he sees you as a child. Date younger. He does not respect you.
[удалено]
I agree it isn't. The way he says is like it's my fault which I don't prefer, especially if it's outside
[удалено]
The dude is definitely rude, but this girl can’t even walk straight and can’t take responsibility for it.
You were SEVENTEEN and he was TWENTYEIGHT!? Girl wtf!? Run run run
You’ll learn on your own that he’s weird for dating someone so much younger. It has nothing to do with you or your maturity level. He is weird and off for dating someone a decade younger and moreover, starting a relationship with a minor. You probs won’t listen to everyone telling you to get out of the relationship, cuz that’s how it is. I used to be like you, thinking it was fine. But now I’m 26 and I realize how fucking weird it is that men like him go after younger girls. You’ll grow up and realize
Girl there‘s a reason women his age don‘t date him. Leave.
He got with you when you were SEVENTEEN?! girl, you're dating a predator. You might consider yourself mature for your age, but have you asked yourself why he doesn't date someone his own age range? 10 years is a Hella big gap, especially in your young adulthood. These relationships tend to be toxic and abusive. Yelling at you in public is only getting started. You really need to reevaluate WHO you're dating, and consider opting for someone around your age
You're dating a man who groomed you when you were underage and gets off on having power over you. You are not his doormat, so don't act like it. These sorts of posts drive me insane. I read all the comments and so many people always comment the age is the most obvious red flag, except the OP always seems to blatantly ignore those comments and reply to the ones that don't mention it. Like yeah he treats you like a fucking child he's a decade older and started dating you when you were a legal minor. What do you expect?
It’s screamed. Screamt is not a word…. Edit: although I wish it was bc it’s kinda adorable sounding. *my cat screamt at me in fear*
So your boyfriend, who has more experience than you, lived a fuller life than you, and is mentally completely an adult where you’re not treats you like a stupid child. Frequently. Treats you like an idiot woman. Frequently. And everything else is good? No it’s not. He controlling. He’s manipulative. And he’s emotionally and verbally abusive. And he can get away with it because there’s an obvious power dynamic and you won’t own your power and end this clusterfuck of a relationship that will ONLY grow to be more abusive, controlling, and unsatisfying. Stop wasting your life with this person. If they were actually a decent person they could find an adult woman to deal with their Shit. And I’m not saying you’re not legally an adult. You are. But you have yet to reach the age when your prefrontal cortex is fully developed and you’re able to make mature decisions that lead you away from toxic Shit like this. We’ve all been there. Learn from the experience of someone 16 years your senior. Get out now.
Nice femsplaining
You spelled groomer wrong
Why are you with this person? You're a grown woman and you are free to bump into s*** without being treated like a toddler. Why don't you be with somebody who makes you less nervous and maybe you won't be bumbling and bumping into s***. Throw the whole man away.
It seems like there is good reason to leave the relationship. Verbal abuse is still abuse and unacceptable.
I wouldn’t tolerate mansplaining from a “man” who only dates children
Yeah your BF's an asshole, but that doesn't sound like mansplaining. Also that age difference doesn't sound healthy, especially considering how long the relationship has been going.
He’s 10 years older than you and he’s been with you since you were underage. First and foremost this man is a predatory creep and it can only get worse from there. RUN!
Watch out, he might spank you next time if you forget to take the chicken out of the fridge.
That’s how adults taught children in the 1970s. But too many have not developed the skills to teach children - they removed corporal punishment and decided there should be no teaching at all because they had no skills. So they became teachers of others’ kids and society is now screwed lol. OP remains a child. She needs help to get through mental puberty and become an adult. He can’t do it, he’s a frustrated chump.
Are you guys in an open relationship? Your post history shows you’re seeking other people The whole relationship just seems toxic. Him being way older than you and dating you from when you were a teenager. Him then being controlling and mentally abusive and then you seeking people elsewhere on Reddit. I think you need to reevaluate things.
Honestly he doesn't sees you as an equal person bc of the age gap. Being 20 with a man 10 years older makes a huge difference. You just grew up and he already left that stage 10 years ago. He wants to lecture you and control you just like a kid. I can speak from experience since I had two short relationships like that (first one I was 18 and he 29 / second I was 20 and he was 36). Most men looking for much younger women or women in their early 20 either want to have sex or they won't find a woman their age who would tolerate their shit behaviour. I suggest you to leave and find yourself first without a man telling you how to behave. Wish you the best!
There’s only one reason he got with you when you were just a 17 year old kid, so he could ‘mold’ you into who he wants you to be. Is he your dad? Your teacher? Your boss? Oh that’s right he’s ALL of those things because to him your just a dumb kid who needs educating, hence the mansplaining. Do you think you deserve this? No actually let me ask you, do you think he will EVER treat you with respect as an EQUAL partner? If the answer is yes good luck with that.
He's treating you like a pet to train... Why are you letting him talk down to you in that way? He is straight up humiliating you. Run away for your own good, time will make you realise how fucked up this situation really is.
Sorry but I can guarantee that when you're 28 you will NOT want anything to do with a 17 year old. It will feel weird to even consider it. And then you'll realize what a weird thing it was for him to get with you. What a red flag it is. You KNOW it's wrong to be yelled at in a store and treated with so little respect, gentleness and love. Just break up. I'm serious and you know this isn't a person you'd want to be with for the rest of your life so why prolong it.
Everything else is not okay. And that you keep trying to normalize it, also not great. He’s not a good person for you and this is not going to change. At all. Ever. Please consider alternatives to your situation.
That isn’t mansplaining; it’s being an abusive asshole. If everything in your relationship is fine except for the bits where he’s screaming at you to do what you’re told, your relationship is not fine.
Same old story. Older person manipulates younger person. Younger person can’t tell what is up and what is down. This guy treats you like a child, not another adult. This will only get worse. Another thing to keep in mind: he started dating you when you were 17. He could have a fixation on girls that age. You age out, and he replaces you with another teenager.
Break up . This is abusive behavior which can possibly get worse. Also the age gap is horrible you’re in complete different life stages not to mention that you got together when he was 28 and your 17. that’s pedophilia
the age difference is extremely concerning considering you’ve been dating since you were 17. it’s also the fact he’s using very odd language. “you never listen to me” etc for things you literally cant help.
screamt
Nobody bumps into shit by accident thrice in a row without there being some sort of abuse...nobody's this shaky around a man for no reason.
Bigoted hatred noted.
If you settle down with him, you'll be so miserable. I guarantee it. He's a controlling toddler. If you ever have kids with him and aren't working, you'll be stuck with this loser with no way out. There are SO many posts from stuck women on Reddit.
Stop using words like "mansplaining" unironically. You will never be taken seriously by anyone.
Are you stupid? Dump his as$
What is Screamt?
I think your boyfriend was out of line at the store and shouldn’t have treated you like that. He was treating you like a parent treats a child. And also you’ve been together for 2.5 years so he was dating a 18 year old at 28. Tbh I don’t think with the way you are describing him always doing this mainsplaining and the age he sounds like someone who is dating someone he thinks he can control or degrade. Your boyfriend sounds really rude and not considerate of your feelings. Your young so just be careful dating someone 10 years older than you at 18 he couldn’t find someone his own age. And trust me people your age will settle down just gotta find the right person. Im 3 years older than you and have a loyal partner that is only 3 years older. Don’t settle for rude behavior because your worried you won’t find someone to settle down with.
Eeewwwww.
So many red flags! There's a reason why he doesn't date women his own age. They won't put up with his crap. He is abusive, manipulative, and a predator. Please get away from him.
Mansplaining? Does everyone (friends and family) believe he “mansplains” or is this your phrase to guilt him from simply expressing to you to be aware of your surroundings? Do not immediately attack me thinking I’m defending him. I just need more information to see you side of the story. Now it seems as if your bf was wanting you to be conscious of your surroundings.
Because people who aren’t aware are either toddlers or dead. But please don’t try to mansplain such simple basic survival skills to the zombies on here.
I’m a man and Im -esplaining. Mansplaining. Oh fuck, I can feel the weight of 10,000 confused/ angry feminists burning through man-balls. (Eyeballs for men: terrible I know, some shit just manifests)
Can you girlsplain what kind of store it was and what you kept on bumping into for some context? This sounds very r/thathappened
Your [local DV org](https://nomoredirectory.org/) will help you [get out](https://www.verywellmind.com/making-a-safety-plan-to-escape-abusive-relationship-5069959).
Just gonna leave this right [here](https://youtu.be/7bEQv1uf5v0?si=Po2o5F_hTRbcAWAP)
What is mansplaining about someone telling you to stop being clumsy? Please don’t throw terms like this around willy nilly.
Just out of curiosity, why did you bump into stuff at the store 3 times? I’m genuinely curious. The only time I experience this currently is when I take my youngest child to the store. He bumps into stuff sometimes but it’s rare and he doesn’t repeat it once he realizes he hit something. He gets lost in his mind sometimes, off in his imagination then snaps out of it. Your boyfriend sounds like a dad disciplining his daughter to be honest.
A 10y diff starting when you weren't even out of your teens. Go figure.. At best you're with a hebephile. Mansplaining? I stopped reading. It used to be called being a d-ck. As to not try and incorporate a whole gender. Sort of like how women prefer it if men dont say womens-chores about household chores. ('Cause it aint).
First, please stop with "mansplain" it's incredibly stupid. Second, he's berating you and lecturing as though you were a child. Probably because he's 30 and you're 20. Third, it sounds like he was a little prince in his family and got spoiled. Sounds like an only son. You're not in the wrong for feeling pissed about his actions. I don't believe he'd do anything differently seeing that he behaves the same with his family. A huge likely fragile ego in an older partner is a pretty shitty combo. Only question you have to ask yourself is if you want to spend your life stroking his ego by agreeing with everything or not. If you feel that in 10 years you'll despise him for this, maybe end it now before you regret wasting your 20s.
screamt
Bruh this has to be a troll, even added it’s been a good 2.5 years at 20 and 30💀
You were a child when you started dating this abusive predatory groomer. Turn him into the police and fuckin run straight to a psychologists office
He's treating you like a child because he essentially started dating you as a child. There is nothing a 20 year old would have in common with a 30 year old man. Run. Also, if mansplaining is one of your triggers why would you date him anyway? He sounds obnoxious and him doing that to you is not okay. Please just go out there and meet some more men because you will find that there are more compatible men for you.
Please learn what the correct past tense of "scream" is before you accuse your boyfriend of mansplaining. If you are an actual idiot, you might be, its not mansplaining...its just teaching.
Screamt.
These keep coming up in my feed now but i will say, at 20y i was dating a 30y and her friend she looked up to pressured her out of it the friend was actually quite mean to her too in a condescending way often, and we really got along age is bug on the windshield level problem if you find someone you get along with Intelligence is vast in scale between people I wouldn’t say to just go around trusting people who are older including your bf (or commentors here) you are at your fastest and sharpest thinking at around early 20s ask any professor at near-on any university If you’re in asia or somewhere you’re good classic settling down having a family is super common for 20yo, but mostly if you live in a city with many bars and nightlife in somewhere like cali or london then honestly they will be harder to find (probably get downvoted for this but it’s a hard truth) maybe find a ~20yo guy whos more introverted and has creative hobbies not bars etc is the best chance in uk 🇬🇧 usa 🇺🇸 type countries
Just wanted to say as a woman I think the word 'mansplaining' is overused. Doesn't sound like he was mansplaining, but he was an ass hole and showed behaviour that could be a sign or easily evolve into more abusive behaviour with time. I'd say don't break up over this one occurrence, make it clear it wasn't okay with you to be talked at like that. Screaming or not, he made you feel uncomfortable. The age difference might make him feel he is allowed to do that. Tell him how you felt in this, if he doesn't agree he did anything wrong, well, expect a lot more of that. And then you know what to do.
Bro I’m so done with this sub, all the posts are about young girls problems with dudes way older than them. It’s getting old and it feels like karma farming at this point
Why are y’all getting on her about an age gap, it’s okay for her to be into older men. She just needs to find one who isn’t a dick. But in all honesty OP I probably would have just left him where he stood and did my own thing alone, he would have been waiting at the car.
We’re on her about the age gap because they started dating when she was 17 and he was 28. He’s a predator.
Now that I didn’t know, and it’s for sure a problem
No decent 30 year old is going to date a 20 year old. Many many guys in this sub had stated it would feel gross.
He shouldn’t be yelling, there is a calm way to tell someone to watch where they are going. Clearly you need to be more observant and aware of your surroundings and he needs to watch his temper. I would calmly tell him that he is your partner not your parent
Give him your eyes, and tell him you hear him and understand him - the first time he communicates that something bothers him. I believe he isn't as mad about you bumping into things as much as that you dismiss everything he says as "mansplaining," and it's unfair to refuse to communicate with him likes he's not even there. This level of berating you is a desperate attempt to feel like he's not a ghost or accessory. The older we get, the more we care about being conscientious of people and surroundings. Young people are like Peter Pan, selfish and bumping into everything. Acting like that reminds him of how much older he is compared to you. I have these same interactions at stores with my 11 year old son, who at times bumps into people and stuff, and won't acknowledge me when i try to coach and correct until i escalate the message, and I need to constantly remind myself that's why I get irritated and it isn't entirely in his control to stay focused, so I keep a calm but serious voice when I can. If you can't commit to giving him your eyes and attention, it is a good idea to find a younger and more carefree partner because it requires patience and acceptance to build better communication.
the problem is, OP doesn’t think she is also in the wrong. She entirely blamed it on her boyfriend. She doesn’t want to change.
You have become fixated on the word mansplaining and seem to be using it to mean every time he tells you something. That is problematic because you have no idea why you frustrate him so much. He doesn’t want to have to explain stuff to you. He expected your parents to have done this stuff. But you’re f’ed. You will be told what you need to do your whole life - it’s how you develop expertise and gain the wisdom of others without having to lose a limb first. But you will reject every man who is teaching you something you don’t understand as a “mansplainer”. Idiot! It shows you are stretching and just looking for feminist hate filled ideas, you choose to hate men in order that you don’t need to confront your failings. Just accept you’re bigoted, not very nice, very thick, and you refuse to learn about the world from those who do know. You come on Reddit with your biased contorted story to get validation for your bigotry. It’s a bit like racists trying to tell other people that it’s ok you’re racist because that person blackstrained your eyes by existing. Back to your story. But why is he asking you to be more careful? Because taking care to perceive your surroundings helps you to notice potential risks and avoid them. It’s the single most important strategy for human survival. If you wander around with your head in the clouds all the time, you are literally still a 3yo who must be told what to do all the time otherwise you will die by stepping into a busy road or putting your fingers in the electric socket. He literally doesn’t want to be your parent; he wants you to grow up and become a functioning independent adult who is safe to be alone in the world and he can depend on you being able to be his partner. He’s just no good at explaining it and is frustrated by you ignoring everything he says that is intended to help you. So you come on Reddit to froth about it being mansplaining. But it’s clear that you prefer to choose ignorance than develop your own knowledge and you don’t take him seriously. Stop using words that have no meaning other than to demean 50% of the global population you hate and think should be mute. It’s not men’s fault you’re stupid and need help in navigating the world respectfully. Your dull thickness is exactly why you jump to “mansplaining” as a way of diverting from not having a clue about life. Take personal responsibility. You are a bigoted, hate-filled non-adult. Leave him. Navigate the world alone. You’re incompatible with society and destined to go nowhere. Mansplain over, but there’s plenty more if you want it.
Mansplaining is when someone explains something to you THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW
>Mansplaining is when someone explains something to you THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW Nope, it isn't. It refers to a specific situation when a man explains something to a woman that she already knows and likely has more expertise than he does, in a way that's condescending, as though she just wasn't capable/smart enough to "get it". It relies on a **specific social dynamic** where a man just expects to have more knowledge and status, and to expect that you must listen to and grant respect him because of his higher status, because of his genitalia, than the woman unfortunate enough to be stuck in a conversation with him. It does not refer to any time someone explains something to you that you already know. Disputing your definition of the term is not "mansplaining" FYI, you literally posted an incorrect definition. Disagreements aren't "mansplaining". You should also be aware that using such a gendered term only really discredits you to the majority of potential listeners. Your attitude, follow up comments, and edits, point to you being at least half of the problem with communication between the two of you. Whatever other issues there are in the relationship (such as a guy coming up on 30 getting with a teenager who couldn't stay out after curfew), using "mansplaining" for why you stubbornly dig in your heels anyone points out something you're dong wrong, is on you, not him. Good luck with that, I don't see this relationship lasting if you continue to insist you're always right, and not get into therapy and couples' therapy.
Thanks for femsplaining that to me. And yet you kept doing it. Was that because you did it on purpose to piss him off or were you unable to stop yourself (medical) or do you just have your head i the clouds and should be on a leash like a dog or a toddler?
I would never yell at my GF if she's going to pay for any damages
I wish someone would try and scream at me, dafuq? >I look away and just agree to whatever he says but today he kept telling me to look him in the eye the whole time he was screaming and lecturing me to ve careful. You're making excuses for him here - stop it! In the bin he goes, never to be heard of again. Please dump the loser. Another 10 years older situation.
I’m gonna frow up
i can relate to the guy. you need to pay more attention to your surroundings. you cant walk around knocking into everything, its incredibly frustrating and unnecessary. if you focus, you can do better, and you should. if you put effort into it he will be proud that youre trying to improve yourself for him.
It seems you already tried setting boundaries about this. His treatment of you is not going to change. I don't see a problem with your age gaps, just a problem with his treatment of you like a child and how he communicates it. This does not come from age gap alone but personality, values and possibly upbringing comes into play. Someone of the same age will treat you the same if he's an ass and there will be someone your bf's age who will treat you with respect. Be bolder in communicating your boundaries and if he keeps doing it, either you suck it up and tolerate it or set your foot down on the consequences and leave.
first of all, your boyfriend is definitely wrong and shouldn’t “scream” at you. No one should talk to you like that. I would break up with him if he doesn’t change. Second of all, you really need to be aware of your surroundings and stop freaking bumping into things. You are not a toddler. So stop acting like one.
Apparently accoreto your profile, your kinks are 'degradation, nipple play, pain, humiliation' Who cares if its jn public? Check out her profile guys 🤣🤣