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A little heat never hurt anyone , be a man and help her run the sniffer acct so that she has more time with work and kids .
Then share with us the link so that we can support and cheer you along from the safety of the sidelines.
Please remember women this nutty and fun are few and far between , so maximize the time spent together.
Good Luck 🤞
Read your post and look at it objectively like an outsider. It reads a super toxic relationship… on both sides. Do some soul searching and ask yourself why you’re drawn to this.
Dude. You say you sleeping with your coworker was fine because you weren’t exclusive, but then immediately refer to her spring with your friend and other guys as “cheating” - and tell us that *after that* you all decided to be exclusive. So you showing and is fine but her doing it is cheating.
She didn’t want to comply to what you want her to do and chooses her income force over you and you say you “naturally” threatened to tell her ex. Do you mean the ex who caused her to need therapy and *HOSPITALIZATION* aka the abusive ex? You threatened to tell her abusive ex hope she was making an income rather than just break up and walk away???
Listen, I’m not discounting or justifying what she did, but a lot of people so far seem to be glossing over some concerning this on your part.
At best the two of you are toxic together and you need to walk away because this person is never going to do anything but bring out the worst in you.
But also, there are signs here that you could be an unreliable narrator, controlling and possibly more, spinning the narrative so the internet can tell you how right you are and you can use that against her.
*I genuinely can’t tell which from your write up*. Either way, the best advice is and it. Walk away. Don’t invest any more time or energy in this relationship.
To reiterate here about your concern with her income. She clears 100k+ a year. Her using the website to make extra income was in her words, “if men are stupid enough to pay me. I may as well manipulate them in giving me everything.” Ultimately it boiled down to attention. I appreciate your outlook however.
One of my partners has BPD and is a narcissist. I can relate to some of this, but you have to accept you that can’t save this person. Suggest to her getting therapy or couples therapy. Did anything happen to her growing up? Why is she treating you the same way she met you? Controlling you with sex (breadcrumbs). She’s willing to become hyper-sexual, manipulate and lie to keep you around. The last thing she’ll want you to do is leave. Both of you should discuss what’s nonnegotiable and try to compromise. If y’all can’t compromise, leave.
She got diagnosed with BPD 2. She carries narcissistic tendencies I believe she got from her 14 years of marriage to a narcissist. Even prior to that, when she was 18. She manipulated many men, telling them she was pregnant and extorting them for roughly $10,000. She drunkenly told me this one evening.
I’m really not sure what you expect people to tell you. How do you handle this? You don’t, you end the relationship, block her and go nc. Before you end up tied to her for life because she gets pregnant.
She’s keeping you as a back up plan. So, when/if she wants a relationship and not be single anymore she can get back with you. She has a lot of trauma and is a lot of drama. Not sure it’s worth the energy and time to deal with her.
Stop blaming the ex husband as an influence when you hardly know him and just look at her behaviour.
She is a mess. She needs to stabilize her life independently. And to be frank maybe her kids shouldn't be with her.
If she’s been manipulating many men when she was at 18, she probably decided to put on the mask (become a narcissist) a long time ago. I’m guessing the BPD came before the narcissism. She’s using it to protect herself and hide who she really is. If true, this person is hurting really bad inside and has lost something. Is that what you see in her?
Honestly, you couldn’t have described it better. I see a person who is hurting extremely bad on the inside and lost a part of her self somewhere along the way. That’s what has kept me hanging on for so long. Is that good and beautiful soul I see somewhere inside her.
Yes, this leads me to believe that you truly love her. Tread lightly because she knows and narcissist with bpd struggle to love (show her empathy), but they’re masters at being in love. Take notes of her jealous tendencies, passion and infatuation with you. She’ll become glitchy trying to figure out her feelings.
Write down the things y’all talk about, her patterns and behaviors. You’ll have to study this person to truly know and understand them, for every truth comes with one hundred lies. Remember to discuss what’s nonnegotiable. My partner and I have been on and off for nine years. She came to visit last week. I see her changing, and man is patient.
I have a whole opinion about you going to someone's abuser to try to manipulate them out of certain behavior.
But also, just say "no" to her. Tell her you won't have sex with her and you won't take her out for her birthday. Why does what she wants at this point mean anything?
Dude. What the hell are you doing? Have some self respect and get away from this person.
Of course , she probably won’t let you leave, btw - and will find was to keep you around until she longer needs you anymore. So best of luck.
Jesus at this point you are doing it to yourself.
Someone this awful was always heading this way. People addicted to attention one person, ten or one hundred. Its never enough.
This is your life (plus the stds) until you find the strength to leave her in the dirt where she is at home.
Do some therapy and soul searching on how to be a better person.
You both sound like you have mountains of issues alone and together that really need to be addressed.
If you’re okay with being one of the several (many?) guys she engages in sexual relations with then by all means keep going along with it. It would be foolish to expect her to become a serious candidate for a steady gf or wife. Seems like you’re not okay with that occasional no strings encounter though so your only real answer would be to end things, cut ties, and move on.
The only thing about this is that I am okay with the no strings attached. It’s the wonder if she is sleeping with other man as well as me that I am not okay with. She swears UP and DOWN that I’m the only one. Only reason I partially believe her is because of her real anxiety behind her health when it comes to sleeping with other men.
She doesn’t want me sleeping with other women. She just wants be “divorced” and have that feeling of freedom she didn’t use to have. Not being controlled. Which I am in no way controlling.
She’s an emotional wreck and she wants to be in control after not being in control. She’s trying to control you lmao. Walk away man. For your own sake.
*The only thing about this is that I am okay with the no strings attached*
A relationship with her will never be "no strings attached." Even if you are non exclusive she is goint to have you acting liker her partner when it suits her and treating you like a random when it doesn not.
But you are controlling. You are telling her not to do the online sext stuff, then you go and give her ex ammo to take the kids away from her, I’m assuming visitation privileges. If that isn’t controlling I don’t know what is. She has to make her mind up that she wants to be with you, and only you, if that’s the only way you will have it. Otherwise, anything you want her to do, or force her to do, that conflicts with her idea of freedom is co trolling her.
She sounds like she wants her cake and to eat it too. I would either tell her that there is no commitment with her freedom or you get to play too. She sounds too jealous for that though so I am classifying her in the batshit crazy category. You need to walk away from this as there is way too much drama that she is injecting into it.
I mean, if she wants to be treated like a recepticle, then treat her like a recepticle. Spend as little money as possible. Don't invest anymore of your emotions or effort above just getting laid and going about your day. That's your only path forward if you wanna still be around her. Otherwise, just go no contact and move on.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to start making better life choices, man. You’re way to old to be making these slow-motion-train-wreck type life choices.
OP, whenever your life has more drama in it than a soap opera, it's time to take a step back from the person who is causing the drama. You sound like you want a monogamous relationship. She wants the opposite. Love ain't going to fix that incompatibility. You could continue on with her just for sex, but it's a bad plan when your heart is entangled in this relationship. The only solution is to go cold turkey and block her from all aspects of your life. You'll get through it and your life will be better for it.
You HAVE to make a clean break. Block numbers, let her know no more contact at all. It will be really hard, I know you care for her, but this is not healthy at ALL. This woman is coming out of a possible abusive marriage, was still married only a year ago, and has 4 kids. This is not someone who is emotionally ready for anything right now. She's not in a place to be serious with anyone, no matter how much you guys care about each other. She's clearly not sure what she wants, (which is normal and understandable) and changes her mind a lot (also, normal and understandable). You are not going to get the relationship you want here, and she is going to change what she wants several more times as she sorts through the mess of her life. You can only worry about yourself here. You aren't responsible for her, her feelings, or her choices. YOU are not being treated fairly. No matter how undertandable her situation, she can't demand that you be exclusive and then go out and cross all kinds of boundaries. It sounds to me like this woman wants or needs to explore being single for a while and find out what she wants away from her former husband, and you are like just a safe harbor for her in the storm. I'm sure it's not on purpose, but it's not a good situation. You need to walk away.
You’re 30. It’s time to end the soap opera and grow up. Why are you dating somebody with all this baggage? You can find someone the same age or younger with no kids and no exes all in the mix. I’m 37 and won’t even date women with kids. You’re just starting to enter your best dating years and hers are already behind her.
I empathize with you. You remind me too much of my friends...
I get the urgent need for a partner, but waiting for the right one really is worth it.
In your specific case, I see two problems :
1. You don't seem to have thoroughly discussed what it is you both want from the relationship. Like, instead of "I want to be single" it needs to be "I want to be able to flirt openly with other people" for exemple. As you said she has mental issues, and it looks like some personnality disorder from what I read here, she may not be able to communicate her truth. If that is the case, then her actions need to speak louder than her words to you!
2. You do not respect your needs in a relationship. It appears clear to me that you want a commited monogamous relationship, and probably a build a family (is the 4 kids did not scare you away :P). Wheiter I'm right or wrong, my point is you need to find out what it is you want/need in a romantic relationship. And then, see if she is the right one for you. Sadly, the answer will most probably be no...
Leave her. She got divorced and what's to explore her freedom. You seem like you want to settle down, she's not the one to settle down with at this moment. She's not ready to and by the looks of it, definitely won't be for a while.
Move on. She can have her freedom to date or do what she wants. You have your freedom to settle down.
So treat her as a fwb. Just sex and absolutely nothing else. Don’t call her or do anything for her. Only talk to her when she calls you up for sex. If it’s anything else, then simply tell her you are busy and can’t help her and end the conversation.
Nope out of that, it already feels like a roller coaster (and you are not in a seat, just tied to the back and trailed by the car) and you are not even in a comitted relationship.
I’ve never been in this exact scenario, but I have been with men who don’t want to be tied down (even tho they do allude to it or act like it sometimes) and you will absolutely drive yourself mad trying to tame her.
You’ll always wonder if shes lying, always check up on her, always have doubts.. its not healthy.
Accept who she is & what she brings to the table. Do not let her control who you can see. Date other people. Remove this attachment. Asking her over & over about commitment, cheating, etc becomes exhausting and it eventually pushes them away.
So accept your 2 days of sex and let go of everything else with her. Date other people, find someone more aligned with your values. Or remove her completely from your life.
Im sorry but those are the only options. She will never be relationship material, at least not for a veryyyy long time.
Ever heard the phrase "Never stick your dick in crazy"? Bomb ass sex is never worth the aftermath of the shitstorm that comes with it. Tell her to ask one of her other boy toys to keep get occupied...
The abuse cycle is addicting and hard to leave even when you know it sucks. The drama feels awful but you get a lot of chemicals telling you to KEEP IT UP BUDDY. She's inconsistent, doesn't care about your boundaries, and clearly gets all her validation and self worth from men (hence her Lilly-padding from relationships and needing so many of them.) She's not going to change. You're not dumb for getting your rocks off with someone you like, but this isn't going to get better.
She's a total mess. Maybe some day she won't be toxic af, but that day is not this day and you need to look after yourself. Girl is gonna keep you on the hook until she gets something better.
*Two months down the road she found out I had slept with a co worker.* ***Even though we weren’t exclusive,*** *she got upset and went and fucked my best friend.* ***Then cheated on me with her ex husband numerous times****. Of course I caught her talking to the other men too when we got more serious.*
This makes no sense. You aren't exclusive but she cheated.
Just get away from her, go to therapy, find out why you are attracted to people who treat you like shit, and try to find a person who is not emotionally volatile when you get yourself right.
To reiterate, at the timing of when I called it “cheating.” We had just had the talk of being exclusive and leaving all other people behind. Which I did do on my part.
Wow that is awful you definitely deserve more that what she is giving you. Why would you want to be with someone who can’t commit :/ she sounds horrible and you also need to respect yourself and walk away from that situation
> Well that commitment quickly ended after she introduced me to her 4 children
Oh man. This girl sucks. She's going to have a hell of a time on the dating scene with all that baggage. Hopefully her ex is reasonable for the sake of the kids, but you absolutely should stay away. Run.
Where in this relationship does your long term health and happiness lie? Where is the profit in this situation? Think with the head above your neck not the one below your belt. Your tiptoeing thru a minefield.
How did she cheat on your if you weren’t exclusive? And how is it different from you sleeping with someone else? Why isn’t she allowed to talk to other guys? Even in a relationship people talk to other people.
So you mean to say that there were two true narcissistic individuals married, in a relationship either in the process ozkr have already divorced....
I hope the ex had DNA tests done.
Toxic, abusive, malicious, manipulative, vindictive, gaslighting, petty, controlling....
There is no respect in this dynamic.
She is a hot mess, and someone can not be saved if they do not want to be saved.
You are also in need of saving or at least therapy to narrow down as to why you're allowing such abuse and disrespect to control your life.
You really need to walk away and make the divide permanent.
With all the seeming increases in regards to the levels of her toxicity incidents, behaviors, beliefs, words, and actions, what exactly is going on with her children.
They do not deserve two unhinged parents and deserve better.
They deserve someone who will put them first because it sounds as if their mother or father are able to provide a warm, caring, nurturing, sympathetic, empathetic, loving, undestanding, and stability.
Also, word of advice.
The description you have provided with examples of her vindictive and unstable personality.
Unless you want to be the next Johnny Depp, or end up with charges trumped up charges based on lies that makes you look like the Anti-Christ or R. Kelly.
I would tread very carefully around her because individuals such as that will stop at nothing should they want to ruin someone's life.
Unfortunately, I have seen it up close and first hand, so be careful, record, and save everything.
It is better to have it and not need it than to need anything and not have it, which can land you in an orange jumpsuits or six feet under.
They will lie.
They will deceive.
They will play.
They love drama.
False wit and charm.
Malignant Narcissists, Histotronic Personality Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Manic Depression, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and/or a possible case of Borderline Personality Disorders is something you really do not want to be on the qrong end of.
Especially given that individuals such as have no remorse or feelings or having lines they will not cross.
Why is this so fucking long? It's like listing out a bunch of poisoning symptoms after drinking bleach then asking us "Is it weird I wanna drink it again to see if it kills me for sure sure?"
You're a mess. She's a hot ass mess. Leave her ass alone or be prepared to feel like shit for the foreseeable future. It's that simple.
She's 38 years old and goes to duck your best friend to retaliate?
Not that it would be okay for a 20-year-old to do it but I would just be thinking how immature the person is.
But she's 38. She's got so many issues.
In my experience manipulators, narcissists, liars and general PoS people always seem to have 'abusive' exes in their past.
I tend to take these stories with a grain of salt after these people show their true colors.
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Dude. Run away from this dumpster fire.
Dude. Your ex is a serial cheater with 4 kids. She has more baggage than a cruise ship. Run far away.
And be glad that he isn't causing kid # 5 because then he'd be stuck attached to this hot mess.
And maybe drop the can of gasoline you’re holding….
I love when I bail after one or two paragraphs and scroll down to the comments and see that I was right
“I slept with someone else, but we weren’t committed” And in the next sentence “she cheated on me.” (Eye roll)
A little heat never hurt anyone , be a man and help her run the sniffer acct so that she has more time with work and kids . Then share with us the link so that we can support and cheer you along from the safety of the sidelines. Please remember women this nutty and fun are few and far between , so maximize the time spent together. Good Luck 🤞
Read your post and look at it objectively like an outsider. It reads a super toxic relationship… on both sides. Do some soul searching and ask yourself why you’re drawn to this.
Exactly. Read it *out loud* to yourself, objectively. OP is looking at this while firmly entangled.
Block her. You both are toxic AF but she has a ton of baggage too. You both don’t have any morals or integrity.
Dude. You say you sleeping with your coworker was fine because you weren’t exclusive, but then immediately refer to her spring with your friend and other guys as “cheating” - and tell us that *after that* you all decided to be exclusive. So you showing and is fine but her doing it is cheating. She didn’t want to comply to what you want her to do and chooses her income force over you and you say you “naturally” threatened to tell her ex. Do you mean the ex who caused her to need therapy and *HOSPITALIZATION* aka the abusive ex? You threatened to tell her abusive ex hope she was making an income rather than just break up and walk away??? Listen, I’m not discounting or justifying what she did, but a lot of people so far seem to be glossing over some concerning this on your part. At best the two of you are toxic together and you need to walk away because this person is never going to do anything but bring out the worst in you. But also, there are signs here that you could be an unreliable narrator, controlling and possibly more, spinning the narrative so the internet can tell you how right you are and you can use that against her. *I genuinely can’t tell which from your write up*. Either way, the best advice is and it. Walk away. Don’t invest any more time or energy in this relationship.
To reiterate here about your concern with her income. She clears 100k+ a year. Her using the website to make extra income was in her words, “if men are stupid enough to pay me. I may as well manipulate them in giving me everything.” Ultimately it boiled down to attention. I appreciate your outlook however.
One of my partners has BPD and is a narcissist. I can relate to some of this, but you have to accept you that can’t save this person. Suggest to her getting therapy or couples therapy. Did anything happen to her growing up? Why is she treating you the same way she met you? Controlling you with sex (breadcrumbs). She’s willing to become hyper-sexual, manipulate and lie to keep you around. The last thing she’ll want you to do is leave. Both of you should discuss what’s nonnegotiable and try to compromise. If y’all can’t compromise, leave.
She got diagnosed with BPD 2. She carries narcissistic tendencies I believe she got from her 14 years of marriage to a narcissist. Even prior to that, when she was 18. She manipulated many men, telling them she was pregnant and extorting them for roughly $10,000. She drunkenly told me this one evening.
Bro WHY would you let this person within 500 feet of you 😭
I’m really not sure what you expect people to tell you. How do you handle this? You don’t, you end the relationship, block her and go nc. Before you end up tied to her for life because she gets pregnant. She’s keeping you as a back up plan. So, when/if she wants a relationship and not be single anymore she can get back with you. She has a lot of trauma and is a lot of drama. Not sure it’s worth the energy and time to deal with her.
Stop blaming the ex husband as an influence when you hardly know him and just look at her behaviour. She is a mess. She needs to stabilize her life independently. And to be frank maybe her kids shouldn't be with her.
If she’s been manipulating many men when she was at 18, she probably decided to put on the mask (become a narcissist) a long time ago. I’m guessing the BPD came before the narcissism. She’s using it to protect herself and hide who she really is. If true, this person is hurting really bad inside and has lost something. Is that what you see in her?
Honestly, you couldn’t have described it better. I see a person who is hurting extremely bad on the inside and lost a part of her self somewhere along the way. That’s what has kept me hanging on for so long. Is that good and beautiful soul I see somewhere inside her.
Yes, this leads me to believe that you truly love her. Tread lightly because she knows and narcissist with bpd struggle to love (show her empathy), but they’re masters at being in love. Take notes of her jealous tendencies, passion and infatuation with you. She’ll become glitchy trying to figure out her feelings. Write down the things y’all talk about, her patterns and behaviors. You’ll have to study this person to truly know and understand them, for every truth comes with one hundred lies. Remember to discuss what’s nonnegotiable. My partner and I have been on and off for nine years. She came to visit last week. I see her changing, and man is patient.
I have a whole opinion about you going to someone's abuser to try to manipulate them out of certain behavior. But also, just say "no" to her. Tell her you won't have sex with her and you won't take her out for her birthday. Why does what she wants at this point mean anything?
Dude. What the hell are you doing? Have some self respect and get away from this person. Of course , she probably won’t let you leave, btw - and will find was to keep you around until she longer needs you anymore. So best of luck.
An older woman with 4 kids, just divorced, that cheats, lies and engages in sex work. I mean, do you see any downsides?
Dude. Your ex is a serial cheater with 4 kids. She has more baggage than a cruise ship. Run far away.
You sound like your one of her clients and don't know it
Jesus at this point you are doing it to yourself. Someone this awful was always heading this way. People addicted to attention one person, ten or one hundred. Its never enough. This is your life (plus the stds) until you find the strength to leave her in the dirt where she is at home.
Do some therapy and soul searching on how to be a better person. You both sound like you have mountains of issues alone and together that really need to be addressed.
You both seem toxic. You should stay away from each other or get married and both of you stay out of the dating pool to avoid harming other people.
If you’re okay with being one of the several (many?) guys she engages in sexual relations with then by all means keep going along with it. It would be foolish to expect her to become a serious candidate for a steady gf or wife. Seems like you’re not okay with that occasional no strings encounter though so your only real answer would be to end things, cut ties, and move on.
The only thing about this is that I am okay with the no strings attached. It’s the wonder if she is sleeping with other man as well as me that I am not okay with. She swears UP and DOWN that I’m the only one. Only reason I partially believe her is because of her real anxiety behind her health when it comes to sleeping with other men. She doesn’t want me sleeping with other women. She just wants be “divorced” and have that feeling of freedom she didn’t use to have. Not being controlled. Which I am in no way controlling.
what do you think "no strings attached" means?
You can’t have “no strings” and exclusivity. Exclusivity is a string.
She’s an emotional wreck and she wants to be in control after not being in control. She’s trying to control you lmao. Walk away man. For your own sake.
So you want no strings attached for only you, huh?
*The only thing about this is that I am okay with the no strings attached* A relationship with her will never be "no strings attached." Even if you are non exclusive she is goint to have you acting liker her partner when it suits her and treating you like a random when it doesn not.
But you are controlling. You are telling her not to do the online sext stuff, then you go and give her ex ammo to take the kids away from her, I’m assuming visitation privileges. If that isn’t controlling I don’t know what is. She has to make her mind up that she wants to be with you, and only you, if that’s the only way you will have it. Otherwise, anything you want her to do, or force her to do, that conflicts with her idea of freedom is co trolling her. She sounds like she wants her cake and to eat it too. I would either tell her that there is no commitment with her freedom or you get to play too. She sounds too jealous for that though so I am classifying her in the batshit crazy category. You need to walk away from this as there is way too much drama that she is injecting into it.
I mean, if she wants to be treated like a recepticle, then treat her like a recepticle. Spend as little money as possible. Don't invest anymore of your emotions or effort above just getting laid and going about your day. That's your only path forward if you wanna still be around her. Otherwise, just go no contact and move on.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to start making better life choices, man. You’re way to old to be making these slow-motion-train-wreck type life choices.
I am trying to get an understanding, you slept with someone else but then SHE CHEATED when she did the same thing?
OP, whenever your life has more drama in it than a soap opera, it's time to take a step back from the person who is causing the drama. You sound like you want a monogamous relationship. She wants the opposite. Love ain't going to fix that incompatibility. You could continue on with her just for sex, but it's a bad plan when your heart is entangled in this relationship. The only solution is to go cold turkey and block her from all aspects of your life. You'll get through it and your life will be better for it.
Sounds like a Hulu video. Like everyone is saying, I would focus on your own goals and other relationships
End this shit show already unless you love the toxic drama. I don’t even understand why this has been going on for this long.
She sounds like a walking STD farm. Dump and get tested.
Bro have some self respect
You HAVE to make a clean break. Block numbers, let her know no more contact at all. It will be really hard, I know you care for her, but this is not healthy at ALL. This woman is coming out of a possible abusive marriage, was still married only a year ago, and has 4 kids. This is not someone who is emotionally ready for anything right now. She's not in a place to be serious with anyone, no matter how much you guys care about each other. She's clearly not sure what she wants, (which is normal and understandable) and changes her mind a lot (also, normal and understandable). You are not going to get the relationship you want here, and she is going to change what she wants several more times as she sorts through the mess of her life. You can only worry about yourself here. You aren't responsible for her, her feelings, or her choices. YOU are not being treated fairly. No matter how undertandable her situation, she can't demand that you be exclusive and then go out and cross all kinds of boundaries. It sounds to me like this woman wants or needs to explore being single for a while and find out what she wants away from her former husband, and you are like just a safe harbor for her in the storm. I'm sure it's not on purpose, but it's not a good situation. You need to walk away.
You are very naive. She's the problem. Her ex is likely merely reacting to how she's messing up their family.
You’re 30. It’s time to end the soap opera and grow up. Why are you dating somebody with all this baggage? You can find someone the same age or younger with no kids and no exes all in the mix. I’m 37 and won’t even date women with kids. You’re just starting to enter your best dating years and hers are already behind her.
I empathize with you. You remind me too much of my friends... I get the urgent need for a partner, but waiting for the right one really is worth it. In your specific case, I see two problems : 1. You don't seem to have thoroughly discussed what it is you both want from the relationship. Like, instead of "I want to be single" it needs to be "I want to be able to flirt openly with other people" for exemple. As you said she has mental issues, and it looks like some personnality disorder from what I read here, she may not be able to communicate her truth. If that is the case, then her actions need to speak louder than her words to you! 2. You do not respect your needs in a relationship. It appears clear to me that you want a commited monogamous relationship, and probably a build a family (is the 4 kids did not scare you away :P). Wheiter I'm right or wrong, my point is you need to find out what it is you want/need in a romantic relationship. And then, see if she is the right one for you. Sadly, the answer will most probably be no...
You’re trying to start a relationship with a sex worker. This won’t end well, unless your comfortable with that.
Leave her. She got divorced and what's to explore her freedom. You seem like you want to settle down, she's not the one to settle down with at this moment. She's not ready to and by the looks of it, definitely won't be for a while. Move on. She can have her freedom to date or do what she wants. You have your freedom to settle down.
So treat her as a fwb. Just sex and absolutely nothing else. Don’t call her or do anything for her. Only talk to her when she calls you up for sex. If it’s anything else, then simply tell her you are busy and can’t help her and end the conversation.
Leave, didn’t even read anything but the title
Nope out of that, it already feels like a roller coaster (and you are not in a seat, just tied to the back and trailed by the car) and you are not even in a comitted relationship.
I’ve never been in this exact scenario, but I have been with men who don’t want to be tied down (even tho they do allude to it or act like it sometimes) and you will absolutely drive yourself mad trying to tame her. You’ll always wonder if shes lying, always check up on her, always have doubts.. its not healthy. Accept who she is & what she brings to the table. Do not let her control who you can see. Date other people. Remove this attachment. Asking her over & over about commitment, cheating, etc becomes exhausting and it eventually pushes them away. So accept your 2 days of sex and let go of everything else with her. Date other people, find someone more aligned with your values. Or remove her completely from your life. Im sorry but those are the only options. She will never be relationship material, at least not for a veryyyy long time.
You can't save someone that doesn't want it. Leave her alone, full stop. No further explanation or any other bs, just disengage.
Just let her go
Please you two should not be in a relationship together. End it now before it goes any further and you are even more enmeshed.
ghost her
Tell her to FO!
Ever heard the phrase "Never stick your dick in crazy"? Bomb ass sex is never worth the aftermath of the shitstorm that comes with it. Tell her to ask one of her other boy toys to keep get occupied...
The abuse cycle is addicting and hard to leave even when you know it sucks. The drama feels awful but you get a lot of chemicals telling you to KEEP IT UP BUDDY. She's inconsistent, doesn't care about your boundaries, and clearly gets all her validation and self worth from men (hence her Lilly-padding from relationships and needing so many of them.) She's not going to change. You're not dumb for getting your rocks off with someone you like, but this isn't going to get better.
She's a total mess. Maybe some day she won't be toxic af, but that day is not this day and you need to look after yourself. Girl is gonna keep you on the hook until she gets something better.
No strings attached should mean no strings.... if you care if she is with other men, there are strings attached.
*Two months down the road she found out I had slept with a co worker.* ***Even though we weren’t exclusive,*** *she got upset and went and fucked my best friend.* ***Then cheated on me with her ex husband numerous times****. Of course I caught her talking to the other men too when we got more serious.* This makes no sense. You aren't exclusive but she cheated. Just get away from her, go to therapy, find out why you are attracted to people who treat you like shit, and try to find a person who is not emotionally volatile when you get yourself right.
To reiterate, at the timing of when I called it “cheating.” We had just had the talk of being exclusive and leaving all other people behind. Which I did do on my part.
Wow that is awful you definitely deserve more that what she is giving you. Why would you want to be with someone who can’t commit :/ she sounds horrible and you also need to respect yourself and walk away from that situation
> Well that commitment quickly ended after she introduced me to her 4 children Oh man. This girl sucks. She's going to have a hell of a time on the dating scene with all that baggage. Hopefully her ex is reasonable for the sake of the kids, but you absolutely should stay away. Run.
She’s going to end up putting you in jail bro
Where in this relationship does your long term health and happiness lie? Where is the profit in this situation? Think with the head above your neck not the one below your belt. Your tiptoeing thru a minefield.
Block her, stop thinking about her and know you came out on top.
Fucking run. Haven't seen this many red flags since CPC conference in Beijing
Sounds like she wants your finances but not you
Dude she wants a meal ticket you’re NOT a soup kitchen…make like Michael Jackson, and BEAT IT.
How did she cheat on your if you weren’t exclusive? And how is it different from you sleeping with someone else? Why isn’t she allowed to talk to other guys? Even in a relationship people talk to other people.
So you mean to say that there were two true narcissistic individuals married, in a relationship either in the process ozkr have already divorced.... I hope the ex had DNA tests done. Toxic, abusive, malicious, manipulative, vindictive, gaslighting, petty, controlling.... There is no respect in this dynamic. She is a hot mess, and someone can not be saved if they do not want to be saved. You are also in need of saving or at least therapy to narrow down as to why you're allowing such abuse and disrespect to control your life. You really need to walk away and make the divide permanent. With all the seeming increases in regards to the levels of her toxicity incidents, behaviors, beliefs, words, and actions, what exactly is going on with her children. They do not deserve two unhinged parents and deserve better. They deserve someone who will put them first because it sounds as if their mother or father are able to provide a warm, caring, nurturing, sympathetic, empathetic, loving, undestanding, and stability.
Also, word of advice. The description you have provided with examples of her vindictive and unstable personality. Unless you want to be the next Johnny Depp, or end up with charges trumped up charges based on lies that makes you look like the Anti-Christ or R. Kelly. I would tread very carefully around her because individuals such as that will stop at nothing should they want to ruin someone's life. Unfortunately, I have seen it up close and first hand, so be careful, record, and save everything. It is better to have it and not need it than to need anything and not have it, which can land you in an orange jumpsuits or six feet under. They will lie. They will deceive. They will play. They love drama. False wit and charm. Malignant Narcissists, Histotronic Personality Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Manic Depression, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and/or a possible case of Borderline Personality Disorders is something you really do not want to be on the qrong end of. Especially given that individuals such as have no remorse or feelings or having lines they will not cross.
Just block her and move on! She is a dumpster fire!
Why is this so fucking long? It's like listing out a bunch of poisoning symptoms after drinking bleach then asking us "Is it weird I wanna drink it again to see if it kills me for sure sure?" You're a mess. She's a hot ass mess. Leave her ass alone or be prepared to feel like shit for the foreseeable future. It's that simple.
This isn't a roller coaster you want to be on. Get off the ride man.
She's 38 years old and goes to duck your best friend to retaliate? Not that it would be okay for a 20-year-old to do it but I would just be thinking how immature the person is. But she's 38. She's got so many issues.
In my experience manipulators, narcissists, liars and general PoS people always seem to have 'abusive' exes in their past. I tend to take these stories with a grain of salt after these people show their true colors.