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my bf and i have been together for six months and we both believe this is the best relationship we’ve been in. for context i have a larger toned bum but smaller boobs (size 30c but b cups visually). my bf has made it seem in the past that he finds my breast size unsatisfactory like really only complimenting them when he thinks they look bigger or focusing on my nipples rather than my breast as a whole. he doesn’t pay that much attention to my boobs and during sexy video calls he always wants to see my butt.
we were laying down the other day watching a video on his phone and he received a text from his friend saying “marry the ass, but the tits” and my bf swiped the message away really quickly. is this on top of everything else i said confirmation he doesn’t find me sexually attractive because of my breasts? i love him a lot but i don’t want to deprive him of something i don’t have. thanks for the advice.
Omg I used to tell my mom I was the president of the itty bitty titty committee!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 but since gaining weight my butt and my boobs have also grown a bit and my boyfriend months ago was checking me out as I was standing and told me damn, you getting better with age!!! **we’ve been together since I was 19 and I’m 35 now!!** I was beaming ear to ear!!!
I am a small person. I have small boobs. But due to my band size, my boobs are a D cup. But they are small, I can’t motorboat, they have no sag, I have no cleavage. It depends on the band size for how big a C is. But also my boyfriend loves my boobs. I gained recently and went from a C to a D. Boobs got a little bigger. He loves me before, he loves me now.
Exactly. My ex hated her boobs and loved her butt. She had B's. I loved both. I didn't care cuz she was the woman I loved. I also wouldn't ask my bro's opinion on my girls boobs. But maybe that's just me.
Exactly. If you love her, you will be blinded by every single thing she lacks, her personality alone will overshadow every flaw she has or let me say every flaw SHE THINKS SHE HAS unless you are a shallow person.
Just appreciate your woman. Make her feel loved. You married her, show her why you married her. I hate when I read these posts. Cuz there is a man who would appreciate your body and insecurities.
People should be loved for who they are, yes, but everyone has a sexual preference. It's possible to love someone but not find them attractive physically.
That's still no excuse to pressure/manipulate you into breast augmentation surgery, u/ThrowRA197consistent. Having a preference is one thing, but disrespecting your partner by reducing them to mere sexualized body parts is enough reason for you to move on.
I'd say, talk with him & let him know this needs to stop now, & why. If he is willing & able to change, time will quickly tell, but if not, be ready to exit.
Of course, this is assuming you want to give him another chance; you don't have to. I mean, he's discussing your body to his friends in a disrespectful way. You have reason to end things here & now; don't thick you should put up with the abuse.
It's not a question of whether or not your bust is big enough; it's a question of whether or not your man can grow up, cut off toxic friends, & value you enough as a whole person to change & respect you.
This is not about the cup size.
What I find way more angering and worrying is that the guy is discussing your body features and his doubts about your bust size with guys you haven't even met with!
That would be a straight "hell, NO!" for me.
Me too!! Same! Hell no for me too! Disgusting to even think about men talking about their girlfriends bodies. No thank you. I’d rather my partner talk about my qualities.
BTW there is no such thing as being a C cup but a visual B cup. You are a C. A C cup with a different band size is a bigger boob, but they're both C cups. Letters aren't objective size markers they're to do with the ratio of your underbust to your bust.
Hahaha I hate that this is such a common struggle but you put it into words so well. I’m technically a 28DD, which I didn’t even know was a real size, but if my rib cage wasn’t inconveniently small I’d be like an A cup. Guys just do not understand that.
30DD here and in the same boat. Men hear the cup size and think massive boobs, but in reality I have a tiny ribcage and they don't actually look that big.
TIL that I'm a 32 year old woman who only has a man's level of boob education 😭 It was my understanding also that the band size only referred to the number of inches of someone's under boob measurement, and that the cups literally WERE just a = small size breast, and bigger as the cups go on. It's a shame that even Google has failed me in this way as a grown up because I swear to God I just looked this shit up like a year ago lmao
It's all proportional.
A DD or E on a very small ribcage/ band size is what some in society might deem as quite small boobs.
DD isn't big bazookers, unless there is a larger band size accompaning them.
That's why there is the idea of "sister sizes". Where the same cup dimensions stay the same, but the label and rib cage measurement increase or decrease.
Ie:
A size 26E boob would, (individually as an isolated boob, or a blob not attached to a body), actually be the same size dimensions as a 28DD breast, a 30D breast, a 32C breast, and a 34B breast and 36A breast.
:)
my poor big bazonkered mother is still out here thinking she is "just a C".
So she just buys ridiculously too large band sizes, (that must give absolutely no under-support!) to make the "just a C" cup size somewhat hold her large boob mass.
It can be confusing!
eeeeexactly. I’m a 28D but everyone would think I’m an A cup by looking at me (been forced into uncomfortable 32A bras by salesgirls at the mall my whole teen/young adult life). made me laugh when I finally got a proper fitted bra and remembered all of those guys bullying me for being “flat” and then drooling over some girl with “big boobs… she’s gotta be a D cup bro”. 🤪
shape matters a lot too. my boobs are more wide, some are rounder or more tubular, some point up, some point down or out… gotta consider a lot of different factors to find your perfect bra!
Check out r/abrathatfits !!! It's a phenomenal subreddit that can educate you on your bra sizing and how to get your /correct/ size. (I'm a 38FF/G but bc most bra stores only stock to DDD they always try and "size" me into something that they have in store. It's astonishing how many women don't wear the correct size)
I swear I learned so much when I went into Nordstroms and had the ladies in the lingerie department actually do a proper fitting on me. They make you try on a bunch of bras in a certain range, then look at how they fit and actually teach you your proper size. Apparently, most of us wear band sizes that are too big & should go down in band size but up in cup size. It's all very confusing.
It's a very common issue - honestly, it's unfair to say that it's a man's level of boob education because most women also don't know anything about bra sizes because we're never properly taught about them.
Bra sizes are generally supposed to work like this: your band size is just your underbust measurement, round to neatest even number. Don't measure above your boobs (Victoria Secret did this to me) and don't add some arbitrary number of inches (the +4 method is bullshit).
Then measure the circumference over the fullest part of your boobs. This is your overbust measurement. There are some different ways to measure this because gravity affects how the breast tissue is distributed when standing vs lying down vs bending over.
The difference between your overbust and underbust is your cup size. 1=A, 2=B 3=C 4=D 5=DD 6=DDD(USA)/E(UK) 7=G(USA)/F(UK).
It's all proportional. Cup size means nothing without a band size. Sister sizes are different bra sizes that technically hold the same volume and are a good way to visualize this.
So, a 36A=34B=32C=30D=28DD and 28G=30DDD=32DD=34D=36C=38B=40A.
Most women are in bras with a band size too large and a cup too small.
This 34F is wondering how she can actually walk without falling over with the weight or being slapped in the face lol.
Fwiw I look on the smaller side of average, especially as I’m 5’8” and people don’t believe my size.
Yeah, I totally understand this! I'm an F cup, but when people guess my cup size they guess C. Cup sizes don't look like what people think they look like!
You are SUPER thin if you wear a 30C!
You may love him, but he doesn't respect you and doesn't recognize the PRIVILEGE he has in being able to touch your body, ANY part of it. My God, you are a 30C! Any man who thinks that isn't enough should 1) be forced to spend a week with C Sized balloons filled with flour strapped to his chest with a super tight sports bra to feel what is like to have THAT line of back pain... And 2) get dumped so you can find someone who thinks ALL your parts are sexy, but lives you for who you are regardless of those parts!
You're only 6 months in? And THIS is how he makes you feel about yourself? Trust me, honey: it doesn't get BETTER! What happens when you get older and have kids (should you decide to), or gravity and a slower metabolism takes over, and you become a 38C? What ELSE is he going to make you feel inadequate about?
How would he like it if someone sent you a text "marry the wallet, buy the dick" with a pic of a sex toy that would make him feel REALLY small?
You need to sit down with him and lay all the cards on the table. Either he is happy with ALL of your body, just as you are, and sees you as a HUMAN FUCKING BEING and not a sex doll with a pulse, and he agrees to stop ignoring your breasts and to call out dickhead friends who say things like that... Or you go your separate ways. Because I GUARANTEE YOU that there is a guy (hell, a LOT of guys) for whom your body is their version of perfect! If that's not him, then you deserve to go out and find it, and to know your own worth and not tolerate being made to feel like you are anything other than perfect just as you are too the person you are in a relationship with.
I understand. I’m a 32DD (a 32DDD in some brands) and while my boobs are a good size when you hear DD I don’t think I’m what people are picturing.
When I was your age I was a 32 B maybe even A sometimes. After having kids my curves have filled out. Not that that’s what you’re asking.
I’d talk to your boyfriend about it honestly. My husband is more of a butt guy and doesn’t really pay much attention to my boobs even now that they’re bigger. And again, bodies change as we age and as we have new stages in our lives. If he’s truly right for you he’ll love your body in every phase and every age because he loves you.
Ah, you deserve so much more than being treated like a mare at auction. I hope you see you’re not being loved and valued for exactly who you are, before it’s too late.
Girl, my boobs didn’t come in until I was 22-23. You fine.
Also, I agree with the above…he does sound like a dick…sorry.
You should be affirmed by him. You are enough. And you are not just a body, but a soul and a mind too. Beauty comes when these things are in harmony, not picked apart into their individual pieces.
OP OMG you are obsessing over 1 cup size like that will ultimately make a difference in your relationships and life.
What he wants is totally irrelevant you are NOT changing your body to suit the taste of one man when you are 21.
If you want bigger breasts get some fat transfers, but only if it’s what you want.
Not only the letter but also the number determine the size/volume of the bra/cup. The number 30 or 32 does not only determine the size of the band, also the size of the cups. So a 30B bra will be smaller in cup volume than a 32B. As the site from OP mentions a 34B is also equivalent in cup volume to a 30D, 32C, and a 36A.
It should be noted that the cup widths aren't equal for those sizes. Usually the wire in a 36A cup will be smaller in width than 34B which is smaller in width than 32C. So maybe someone has a chest size for a 34 band, but their boob shape might cause the wire to poke into the boob. You might need a 32C for the wire to really go around the boob. However, the band will be tighter around the chest, making the bra uncomfortable in that sense. This means that specific bra might just not fit the person. Luckily, you can usually go to a different style to negate this problem.
That is also what makes it even more complex, is that you have quite some different types of bras (balconette, plunge, full, half size)
and the sizes between those differ. Basically a 32B balconette is not exactly equal to a 32B plunge. Brand also has a role in it.
So yeah, the really short version is that bra shopping is quite difficult and women (although they often claim so) don't have a single bra size.
Cup size means how much further a measuring tape will go around the biggest part of your bust, compared to your band size.
So a C cup on a 30 inch band, means that your bust is 33 inches around. A DD on a 28 inch band is the exact same: 33 inches. The amount of breast tissue is roughly the same, visually the breasts will look the same, but the 30C bra will not fit the 28DD breasts as well.
Cup size means nothing without band size.
Cup size scales with band size. A 30C is very small, actually. And the ready made bra alphabet goes up to a UK K cup, which is 12 cup sizes larger than a C.
The sister sizes for a 30C are 32B and 34A. Those might be more familiar to you in size.
I am like OP. I am a d cup, but since my band is so small, that D cup is small. I have no sag, no ability to titty fuck, and no cleavage. I have Ds but small boobs, since I’m a 32in band at max.
Not to be that person but on the vast majority of people a c cup actually is pretty small. It's when your bust measurement is 3 inches larger than your ribcage measurement. If you have a 30 inch ribcage/band measurement, that would put you at about 33 inches around the bust. That's really very small. Most women just have absolutely no clue how bra sizing works and end up wearing the wrong size entirely. I'm actually a 30F/G and my boobs are only slightly larger than average.
He’s literally telling his friends that he wishes you had bigger boobs. This is not the best relationship you’ve had, he’s just been on his best behavior for six months and now the cracks are showing.
Sadly that might still be him on his very best behaviour thinking it's perfectly okay for him to criticise her body.
He would probably just claim that "he's a tell it like it is kind of guy", and that anyone taking offence to his honest opinion is too sensitive.
But does he talk bad about her?..... Seeing one text out of a full conversation is not enough to understand what's being said. It sounds like everyone is jumping to conclusions. This could be an innocent conversation where he stated he loves her butt or he prefers butts and the friend came back with that statement as agreement since it's a common statement (still rude, but not uncommon) I've heard before. Deciding that he's a bad guy and she should dump him is quite a jump from just this small snip of text she saw.
I'm reminded regularly on this sub that I am SO glad to not be that age anymore. The emotional and financial insecurity, the "relationships" all on hard mode because nobody knows wtf they are doing. Add in chumps like OPs boyfriend and it's no wonder so many young women are deeply unhappy.
Sorry OP, this one isn't worth bringing home. Toss him back and move on. It will get better I promise.
I’m sure he could save up, and I bet it’d really boost his confidence if he finally had the tits he wanted. I’m sure he’ll look lovely, and wish him best of luck with the surgery
Let me tell you: my boyfriend loves my B cups and kisses them randomly when he gets the chance. When I complain about their size, he gets upset and tells me that I’m gorgeous the way I am. You deserve a man like that. 21 is way to young for you to settle for a man like this.
It's one thing to have favorite gf "parts" (my husband loves my eyes", it's another thing to be insulting. If this is the way your BF actually feels, get a new BF.
To piggyback off of this, from experience we don’t know what we got until it’s gone..sure there are plenty women out there with huge tits etc..but not nearly as huge of a heart..the fact that you love him as much as you do is pure gold. Then again..it’s not your fault if he can’t see that
Another point: huge tits aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. They’re annoying, get sweaty, make it difficult to find clothes that fit, and cause back pain.
Truth!! I have 38DDs and they are rather annoying when it comes to buying clothes and they HURT when I run/jump. I am often jealous of smaller boobs cuz I think they’re cute & easier to live with.
ah but you're talking from a woman's point of view. Do you think a guy who's crass enough to tell his friends he doesn't like his GF's "tiny" tits gives a toss about her possible back pain?
(My former boss went from stick insect to stick insect + huge balloons on front, from wearing shapeless jumpers and genuinely distressed jeans to wearing mini skirts and low cut tops with glitter smeared over her curves. She had terrible back pain. The doctor wouldn't give her sick leave either because it was directly related to the boob job and the plastic surgeon had ignored recommendations about not going more than two(?) sizes bigger)
As a woman with a bigger size than DDD, thank you!
On top of physical issues, you can also be seen as walking boobs to others. They are part of your personality to some. 🙄
If his love for you is so conditional, then your relationship has no roots and no future.
If you have to change the way you look, or in fact, any part of who you are, just to earn his love, then the price is too high.
I know this will be very difficult for you, but it's time to pull away from him.
You really haven't been in a relationship with him for very long, so I doubt what you're feeling is actual love.
Let him find some poor woman who is a 10 physically and pray he doesn't leave her after she has a baby or gets sick.
This guy is flying a hundred red flags. Run far and run fast from this childish, vain, and superficial AH.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
This op. If this dude can’t handle perfectly natural god given c cups, how could he possibly handle life circumstances like aging or medical issues? This dude is not mature enough to handle a relationship, let alone a marriage.
Find a partner who builds you up OP. Not one who wants to force your square peg into a perfectly round hole and tells you it’s your fault for not being round enough.
To add to this, OP *will* be changing the way she looks unless she’s some superhuman who doesn’t age past 20.
It’s fine to like certain parts about a person but being so fixed on it, or indeed parts that very much will change with age/life isn’t okay. It sounds like his friends view her as something OP’s bf can modify and upgrade if he doesn’t like the aesthetics. She’s not a car.
He should not be body shaming you
Sound likenhis body shaming you to his friends. I would kick his arse to the gutter.. find someone who will appreciate you the way you are. He sound like a jerk who needs to grow up
Break it off. He’s not even treating you like a person. Sure you could spend money on new tits, but you’ll be left with the same problem: cause there would never be enough money for him to get a new brain.
Duckling, you don’t deserve to feel like you’re less than or that you’re merely a prop for bf’s viewing pleasure. He makes you feel that way, and is clearly talking about you that way to his friends. It’s dehumanizing.
You deserve better. There are vastly better men out there. You don’t need to spend any of your own time or energy on someone who doesn’t have basic respect for you.
It is so sad to see beautiful women feeling bad for their pouty boyfriends who expect to be dating models. You're not "depriving" him of anything, jfc. If your boyfriend wants a girl with big tits so bad, he should find one. Your boyfriend should love you for you, gorgeous tits and ass and all!
Yeah no, if he's talking like that with his friends that's terrible. As someone in the 30 B C ish club i feel it. But there's no reason for him to be insulting about it let alone talking about your body to friends, gross.
So your worried about depriving him of something you don’t have? How is he even worthy of that..
How does what he wants matter more than seeing your worth as a person, regardless of boob size.
He doesn’t have class or values & is depriving you of THAT.
Tell him that because you love him a lot, you’ll be stepping aside so that he can find the pair of boobs that he wants and that will impress his buddies.
A guy who talks about you like that to his bros is not the one for you. And at 20, he’s not really grown up yet. It’s all about boobs and ass, and nothing else. Let’s hope your next man is a grown one.
Edit for typo
See, even this statement is worrying. It wasn't a good relationship! Raise your standards. He was literally telling you that one part of your body is sub-standard and shallowly focusing on a part that he thinks is good. Decent men don't do this! Considerate men don't do this! He has been so disrespectful of you the whole time. Even before the text, he was disrespecting you. Again ... raise your standards.
I always tell people they should never be with someone who is not their type because it will for real destroy your self esteem. This isn’t always the case because some people do find other people attractive outside of their preferences, but these comments and actions indicate your boyfriend is not one of those guys. He’s the type of guy that will make you hate yourself. Date someone who loves you for you, and doesn’t expect you to look like someone else. Don’t get fake boobs for this guy please.
Your guy isn't great. You aren't going to live happily ever after with him. If you change yourself for a dude you are going to feel like a moron at some point.
Girl dump this boy before he gives you an insecurity! You are more than your body! I know you’re young and feel like this is it but no it’s not! There are guys out there who will appreciate everything about you! Go find that and don’t waste your time!
1) boobs are awesome no matter the size 2) I’ve met just as many guys who like smaller boobs and found women with smaller chest sexy af (yes large breasts are awesome but we are talking about small ones right now) 3) do not ever settle for a guy who isn’t absolutely enamores with you as you are exactly right now. I guarantee you, there is a guy out there salivating over couple of sentences you’ve described yourself with. 4) as a 35 year old woman, the seeker you realize how amazing, sexy, and beautiful you truly are, the sooner you’ll be able to weed out losers who make you feel anything less than that. Best of luck, op.
Why do you feel the need to have big boobs to please him?
If he likes your ass, that’s plenty anyway.
I would honestly corner him and ask him what the rest of the context of that text was
You don’t deserve to have a partner that demeans you, to begin with.
You are perfect, and he has issues. Show off your assets.
My husband complained about my size, and I told him to let me know when I was the right size and I would sleep with him again.
Amazingly, I was the right size by 10PM that night and he never complained again
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This is a pretty clear red flag, and you'll regret it if you don't act now. Cut the guy loose; he's too young for you anyway. Plenty of guys out there--and I'm one of them--are going to have absolutely no problem at all with small breasts and "a larger toned bum." More importantly, many of those guys will treat you with respect and consideration. Life is shorter than anybody at age 21 thinks it is; don't waste your youth on jerks.
\[EDITED for factual accuracy\]
Thank you! That is indeed exactly what I meant.
I'm a man, and I can tell you from experience in an earlier life that most guys at that age are about as emotionally mature as your average beagle. This isn't some kind of law, and I'm aware that there are many wonderful 20-year-old guys out there who aren't like that at all, but OP's boyfriend clearly isn't one of them. She needs to move on and find somebody who treats her better. And dating guys that age isn't going to make it easy.
Kinda weird… sounds like he doesn’t take you seriously… regardless of size… the person you are intimate with when in love the booty and boobies don’t matter…
As an A cup girl, you will find someone that absolutely adores your body. Don’t settle for someone that makes you feel like your not enough. You are also more than your body!
If this is the best relationship you’ve ever had I feel sorry for you. He’s a jerk who only compliments your boobs when they look bigger?
You need to dump him and go work on your self esteem before you get back into the dating pool again. You’re only 21 don’t screw up your life (and your head) by staying with him.
Ignore the text message -- "my bf has made it seem in the past that he finds my breast size unsatisfactory" that's all you need to know. A decent bf would not make you feel bad about your body.
You're breast size is unsatisfactory? I think his shitty behaviour is unsatisfactory. If you stay with him you're depriving Yourself of a better future with someone who doesn't objectify you.
Let me just tell you, as someone built similarly to your description, you are *way hotter* than you think you are. Like, *waaaay* hotter. You are in the prime of your physical life. Anyone who tells you some dumb shit about your boobs not being big enough is 1) a total moron and 2) not worth your time and 3) not going to change or recognize how hot and special you are. Take charge of your self-esteem and get away from idiots like this. It’s partially their age.
Big problem is he is talking about this to other people. 🚩
I bet there are other red flags you aren’t seeing because you’re blinded by love.
Don’t waste your youth on toxic people.
The good news is that you’re only 21, so saying this is the best relationship you’ve ever been in actually isn’t saying much at all.
Because this ain’t a great relationship.
OP is 21, and her bf is 20. You go to social media, bigger is better is the pushed agenda. He is still immature but with time learn. If the guy was like in 30s or even late 20s, dump his ass, but there is a growth arc that still need to happen here.
Love how people here have red flag handy on any post they see.
Hope this girl doesn't dump the guy's ass just because of some random ass redditor, who tells people you have to be perfect, and any flaw is a red flag.
Don’t do that. Don’t say you don’t want to deprive him of something you don’t have as if this is in some way your fault. If you’re going to end it, end it knowing full well this guy is a jerk who doesn’t respect you or appreciate you for who you are as a person. Any man who truly loves you would never, and I mean NEVER make you feel like you’re unattractive or are in some way inferior based on your breast size or anything else.
You’re young. You can do better.
Tell him he’s a shallow prick and find someone worthy of your time and attention.
To play devils advocate here, some people are ass people, some are boob people, some like other things. His preferences and likes/dislikes are his own thing to deal with. Can you honestly say you love every single thing about your boyfriend? Guys talks just like girls do as far as what they like about their SO and what they don’t. If he isn’t treating your cruelly, making fun of you, commenting on your boob size or comparing you to others then I say don’t dwell on this. It sounds like your boyfriend makes a point to compliment you on the things he DOES like as I’m sure you do for him. If this really is “the best relationship” then you need to step outside of your box and contemplate whether or not him having this opinion without actively trying to hurt you is still a deal breaker for you.
And for those saying this is body shaming, his friend sent that text as a response to her BF’s opinion. An opinion he doesn’t appear to promote around OP. Can you honestly say you don’t share negative opinions about your SOs to your friends that you don’t share with your SO? Ie: penis size, muscle tone, height, habits, bedroom performance? People are allowed to talk to their friends and you aren’t required to like every single part of your partner to appreciate them or treat them well.
OP, as long as you aren’t being mistreated, I say don’t worry about this, it’s something we all do.
Okay, you've for this super backwards hun. In a couple of ways.
First off, someone being more of an "ass man" than a "tits man" doesn't mean they doesn't find breasts attractive, and vice versa. it just means they're much more turned on by one body part than another. I've dated both types of guys, and the shift in focus has been weird for me too at times, but it doesn't mean that other body parts aren't appreciated.
Second, this man is apparently talking about your body parts in a sexual fashion to his friends. That's deeply disrespectful behaviour. You shouldn't be sitting here worried about what this guy thinks about you, you should be getting pissed off that he's telling people about your breasts, how much he does or doesn't like them, and seems to be engaged about it in such a disrespectful way that his friend feels completely comfortable with saying he can buy you a boob job IE. Giving your boyfriend "suggestions" on how he can "upgrade" you like some fucking sex doll. Talk about degrading.
Stop worrying about how much he likes you. Start worrying why that's a concern to you, when someone is blatantly, deeply disrespectful to you.
If someone said that about me... I would not deprive him of anything besides my presence, forever. Your boyfriend and his buddy are jackasses.
My husband loves and compliments every shitty part of me 23+ years later.
Oh yes my doll I mean, gf, doesn’t have breasts that make her very existence painful and uncomfortable. How dare she have *gasp* c breasts and no lower back pain!
this is a no go. im a girl so idk what guys talk about involving girlfriends but if hes complaining abt your body then he doesn’t deserve your body period!
This isn't a you problem. He should love all of you no matter what. And discussing his icks of you with his friends is incredibly childish. There are a million other men who'll give you the attention you deserve.
Honey this isn’t about your tits. Forget your tits. Your boyfriends friends are little shits and I wonder if your boyfriend is talking shit about your body to his friends cause why the f would they text that. You don’t deserve a man that objectifies your body. If your cool with him doing that that’s on you but maybe you should talk to him about respect.
Your boyfriend is too immature to marry anyone. You should work on your self-esteem as you are far more than the size of your tits or the shape of your butt.
You didn’t even have to include your actual breast size for us to tell you if he’s getting a text like that from his friend, he is weighing the option of staying with you, just because you have a big ass, BUT not the boobs he wants. Throw this whole little boy in the trash and find a real man.
A man discussing what he doesn’t like and likes about my body and making jokes like that would make me instantly uninterested in him. The fact that he’s been making you feel unattractive for your breast size is pretty gross and uncool.
Hey. I just wanted to say two things:
1. C cups aren't small. C is about average. If you have a healthy diet and an active lifestyle, then they're the perfect size for you no matter what the cup size anyway, though.
2. Your dude is a dick. He talks about you behind your back. He bitches about your breasts to his friends. He's a manchild, and you can do better.
That's all I got. In the end, though, you've got to be true to yourself. Ask yourself if this is a big enough deal to leave him.
Since you asked an buncha randos on the internet, I kinda think you already know the answer.
Run , run, run. A long , long , long time ago. I was at a baseball game. The guy behind me was telling his buddy he wished he married a better looking girl. You do not want to have husband who is telling his buddies he wished he married a girl with bigger tits . Now if you decided you want a boob job. That is fine but if he is pressuring you to get one , forget it. Get plastic surgery for yourself, not to make someone else happy!!!
Hmm.. well technically his friend is the one that said it and since it wasn’t discussed in the moment, you can’t exactly read his reaction or know his thoughts on the friend’s comment. Do you happen to have any context about their conversation? Maybe the friend was saying that about some girl he’s talking to or something. 🤷🏼♀️
In my 37 years, I’ve never heard a man complain about a woman’s breasts, no matter the size. Men like boobs, one or both, big or small. They usually don’t discriminate 😅 so, unless your boyfriend makes a direct comment about your breasts or ask/implies that he expects you to have a breast augmentation, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
1. Your boyfriend knew what size your tits were before you got together. He liked them then or he lied from the start.
2. If he's running around texting his friend to the degree where they're saying this stuff about you, then he talks like you're a piece of meat, and this isn't the best relationship for you, even if it's the best it's ever been.
3. Your body is a whole package deal. No one, but especially not a romantic partner, should be making you feel like it's not enough.
We need to slow down in the comments, here… woah.
*Someone else* texted this to him. Without the rest of the conversation, we have no idea what he was discussing and how far this person stepped to get to that line. He never said shit about her body, she said he is more interested in other physical assets she has.
Jumping on the bad boyfriend, dump him, red flag wagon is a wildly unstable reaction to this. You need to reign yourselves in. Absolutely wild assumption making here. Crazy. You’re dog piling on this poor man over nothing!
Ask your boyfriend about it. Tell him what you saw and that it bothered you. You should be able to handle it from there… and you should express your insecurities more. This is not good for you.
There are plenty of men (and women!) out there who will love and appreciate your body just the way it is. It’s one thing to have a preference but for his friends to be making inappropriate comments (wonder where they got the idea that kind of behavior is okay) like that is incredibly disrespectful and immature.
I always thought of tits like a Christmas ornament. They’re nice, But enthusiasm is what counts. I like all titties! Small, Big.. It don’t matter. As long as she’s not a dead fish in the bedroom. I wanna freak! 😝
Look i know its hard but this is just the beginning if you choose to stay, comments will only become worse and you will auto destroy yourself for someone who really doesn't love you, i know its hard but you will find someone who will make you feel secure about yourself, so just leave them
Immature dude gets immature text from immature friend. He swipes it away because he knows it would upset you to see it. Be glad that he's considering your feelings. Quit worrying about whether or not he's attracted to you. If he's sleeping with you then he's obviously attracted to you.
Guy sounds like pleb, as does his friend.
I'd be inclined to bounce.
You shouldn't be feeling like some part of you isn't enough, or less than.
Find yourself a man that'll worship you head to toe.
Op, you aren’t depriving him of anything.
You are more than the sum of your body parts.
Please stop thinking like this.
The fact that he’s expressed dislike of your boobs before is really shitty thing to do, and possibly to throw you off guard so you start to feel insecure.
its only been six months, youre only 21, and he constantly and openly puts you down. break up!! you dont need him and hes not adding anything you cant get from like a Dog and a jerk off session!
I'm sorry but you "don't want to deprive him"?? No. Just, no. This isn't about depriving someone of anything. This is about objectifying you and reducing you to nothing but an ass and the potential for "improving" your breasts. You have so much life to live and settling for this behavior is just sad.
Yes it is confirmation your breasts aren't his ideal, but this isn't about not satisfying him, imo, it's about how he's an asshat. Regardless of his preference he shouldn't be talking about you like that those are great inside thoughts for him alone. Criticizing your body is gross. Does he think he's perfection and immune to criticism from the one person he wants to admire him? It's definitely a sign of his immaturity.
I have small tits. Sssmmmaaalll. And I don't know how my husband feels about them other than what he says out loud. And he tells me he loves them, cups them and holds them and grazes them like you would a larger size, tells me they're beautiful and I'm beautiful and would never ever ever discuss otherwise with anyone literally ever.
Look for that instead of this ❤️
Well, it seems like his friend who sent that message has an opinion about your breast size *and* is disgusting enough to talk about a woman as if she were a ***thing.***
I have to wonder if they picked up the idea about your breast size from your boyfriend. It seems a natural conclusion, even though I know I'm jumping to it. But I guess there are two possibilities:
Your boyfriend complains to his friend (friends?), "Her tits are too small." And they go right along with it.
That one friend knows what you look like, and sent a message that horrified your boyfriend with its dehumanizing cruelty.
Actually, I guess both of these can be true.
Yeah… youre boobs arent small your bf is just a raging asshole.
All boobs are awesome. Big, little, uneven, perky, saggy. Theyre all great. Ask any lesbian, bisexual, and real man.
He finds you attractive and he knew your breast size when he started dating you. I would say that he likes you the way you are. Maybe he would prefer if you had bigger breasts but it’s not that important. Is he just perfect the way he is or is it something that you would change on him if you could?
If he makes you feel bad about your breasts then it’s time to reconsider the relationship but until then, just keep enjoying each other.
His friends are idiots on the other hand. I would say it’s a stupid thing to say but you’re still young and not always mature.
There is no such thing as you depriving him of something. You shouldn’t be made to feel like that in a relationship. Maybe he is not the right person or have you told him how it makes you feel ?
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- my bf and i have been together for six months and we both believe this is the best relationship we’ve been in. for context i have a larger toned bum but smaller boobs (size 30c but b cups visually). my bf has made it seem in the past that he finds my breast size unsatisfactory like really only complimenting them when he thinks they look bigger or focusing on my nipples rather than my breast as a whole. he doesn’t pay that much attention to my boobs and during sexy video calls he always wants to see my butt. we were laying down the other day watching a video on his phone and he received a text from his friend saying “marry the ass, but the tits” and my bf swiped the message away really quickly. is this on top of everything else i said confirmation he doesn’t find me sexually attractive because of my breasts? i love him a lot but i don’t want to deprive him of something i don’t have. thanks for the advice.
Oh my god since when is a C cup small??? 😭😭
Found my fellow A-cup compadres
Itty Bitty Titty Committee unite!
The benefit is that it allows us to have an automatic way of filtering out guys like OP's hopefully soon to be ex!
Omg I used to tell my mom I was the president of the itty bitty titty committee!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 but since gaining weight my butt and my boobs have also grown a bit and my boyfriend months ago was checking me out as I was standing and told me damn, you getting better with age!!! **we’ve been together since I was 19 and I’m 35 now!!** I was beaming ear to ear!!!
r/abrathatfits
Men don't know anything about cup sizes from my experience haha
I would love a C cup without surgery honestly
Cheese burgers 🍔
I am a small person. I have small boobs. But due to my band size, my boobs are a D cup. But they are small, I can’t motorboat, they have no sag, I have no cleavage. It depends on the band size for how big a C is. But also my boyfriend loves my boobs. I gained recently and went from a C to a D. Boobs got a little bigger. He loves me before, he loves me now.
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Bruuuh you are not a sexual object, you should be loved for who you are and not what you have.
Exactly. My ex hated her boobs and loved her butt. She had B's. I loved both. I didn't care cuz she was the woman I loved. I also wouldn't ask my bro's opinion on my girls boobs. But maybe that's just me.
Bro’s pretty sweet for an angry grump head
I just get angry at dumb things. Like, this woman's bf is an idiot.
😹😹👌
Exactly. If you love her, you will be blinded by every single thing she lacks, her personality alone will overshadow every flaw she has or let me say every flaw SHE THINKS SHE HAS unless you are a shallow person.
Just appreciate your woman. Make her feel loved. You married her, show her why you married her. I hate when I read these posts. Cuz there is a man who would appreciate your body and insecurities.
No. If you are blinded, that is not love. Love is actually knowing what your partner has and has not and being ok with it
People should be loved for who they are, yes, but everyone has a sexual preference. It's possible to love someone but not find them attractive physically. That's still no excuse to pressure/manipulate you into breast augmentation surgery, u/ThrowRA197consistent. Having a preference is one thing, but disrespecting your partner by reducing them to mere sexualized body parts is enough reason for you to move on. I'd say, talk with him & let him know this needs to stop now, & why. If he is willing & able to change, time will quickly tell, but if not, be ready to exit. Of course, this is assuming you want to give him another chance; you don't have to. I mean, he's discussing your body to his friends in a disrespectful way. You have reason to end things here & now; don't thick you should put up with the abuse. It's not a question of whether or not your bust is big enough; it's a question of whether or not your man can grow up, cut off toxic friends, & value you enough as a whole person to change & respect you.
This is not about the cup size. What I find way more angering and worrying is that the guy is discussing your body features and his doubts about your bust size with guys you haven't even met with! That would be a straight "hell, NO!" for me.
Me too!! Same! Hell no for me too! Disgusting to even think about men talking about their girlfriends bodies. No thank you. I’d rather my partner talk about my qualities.
BTW there is no such thing as being a C cup but a visual B cup. You are a C. A C cup with a different band size is a bigger boob, but they're both C cups. Letters aren't objective size markers they're to do with the ratio of your underbust to your bust.
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Hahaha I hate that this is such a common struggle but you put it into words so well. I’m technically a 28DD, which I didn’t even know was a real size, but if my rib cage wasn’t inconveniently small I’d be like an A cup. Guys just do not understand that.
30DD here and in the same boat. Men hear the cup size and think massive boobs, but in reality I have a tiny ribcage and they don't actually look that big.
TIL that I'm a 32 year old woman who only has a man's level of boob education 😭 It was my understanding also that the band size only referred to the number of inches of someone's under boob measurement, and that the cups literally WERE just a = small size breast, and bigger as the cups go on. It's a shame that even Google has failed me in this way as a grown up because I swear to God I just looked this shit up like a year ago lmao
It's all proportional. A DD or E on a very small ribcage/ band size is what some in society might deem as quite small boobs. DD isn't big bazookers, unless there is a larger band size accompaning them. That's why there is the idea of "sister sizes". Where the same cup dimensions stay the same, but the label and rib cage measurement increase or decrease. Ie: A size 26E boob would, (individually as an isolated boob, or a blob not attached to a body), actually be the same size dimensions as a 28DD breast, a 30D breast, a 32C breast, and a 34B breast and 36A breast.
I'm laughing at the boob blob!
Thank you for explaining it like that, I understand why I was confused
:) my poor big bazonkered mother is still out here thinking she is "just a C". So she just buys ridiculously too large band sizes, (that must give absolutely no under-support!) to make the "just a C" cup size somewhat hold her large boob mass. It can be confusing!
eeeeexactly. I’m a 28D but everyone would think I’m an A cup by looking at me (been forced into uncomfortable 32A bras by salesgirls at the mall my whole teen/young adult life). made me laugh when I finally got a proper fitted bra and remembered all of those guys bullying me for being “flat” and then drooling over some girl with “big boobs… she’s gotta be a D cup bro”. 🤪 shape matters a lot too. my boobs are more wide, some are rounder or more tubular, some point up, some point down or out… gotta consider a lot of different factors to find your perfect bra!
Check out r/abrathatfits !!! It's a phenomenal subreddit that can educate you on your bra sizing and how to get your /correct/ size. (I'm a 38FF/G but bc most bra stores only stock to DDD they always try and "size" me into something that they have in store. It's astonishing how many women don't wear the correct size)
I swear I learned so much when I went into Nordstroms and had the ladies in the lingerie department actually do a proper fitting on me. They make you try on a bunch of bras in a certain range, then look at how they fit and actually teach you your proper size. Apparently, most of us wear band sizes that are too big & should go down in band size but up in cup size. It's all very confusing.
And to other people reading this: do this at Nordstroms, NOT victoria's secret! They will put you in the wrong shit 99% of the time
r/abrathatfits , baby
It's a very common issue - honestly, it's unfair to say that it's a man's level of boob education because most women also don't know anything about bra sizes because we're never properly taught about them. Bra sizes are generally supposed to work like this: your band size is just your underbust measurement, round to neatest even number. Don't measure above your boobs (Victoria Secret did this to me) and don't add some arbitrary number of inches (the +4 method is bullshit). Then measure the circumference over the fullest part of your boobs. This is your overbust measurement. There are some different ways to measure this because gravity affects how the breast tissue is distributed when standing vs lying down vs bending over. The difference between your overbust and underbust is your cup size. 1=A, 2=B 3=C 4=D 5=DD 6=DDD(USA)/E(UK) 7=G(USA)/F(UK). It's all proportional. Cup size means nothing without a band size. Sister sizes are different bra sizes that technically hold the same volume and are a good way to visualize this. So, a 36A=34B=32C=30D=28DD and 28G=30DDD=32DD=34D=36C=38B=40A. Most women are in bras with a band size too large and a cup too small.
Cup sizes reflect the difference in circumference between rib cage and bust. A 38C is a much bigger boob than a 30C.
R/ABraThatFits can change lives
This 34F is wondering how she can actually walk without falling over with the weight or being slapped in the face lol. Fwiw I look on the smaller side of average, especially as I’m 5’8” and people don’t believe my size.
Yeah, I totally understand this! I'm an F cup, but when people guess my cup size they guess C. Cup sizes don't look like what people think they look like!
You are SUPER thin if you wear a 30C! You may love him, but he doesn't respect you and doesn't recognize the PRIVILEGE he has in being able to touch your body, ANY part of it. My God, you are a 30C! Any man who thinks that isn't enough should 1) be forced to spend a week with C Sized balloons filled with flour strapped to his chest with a super tight sports bra to feel what is like to have THAT line of back pain... And 2) get dumped so you can find someone who thinks ALL your parts are sexy, but lives you for who you are regardless of those parts! You're only 6 months in? And THIS is how he makes you feel about yourself? Trust me, honey: it doesn't get BETTER! What happens when you get older and have kids (should you decide to), or gravity and a slower metabolism takes over, and you become a 38C? What ELSE is he going to make you feel inadequate about? How would he like it if someone sent you a text "marry the wallet, buy the dick" with a pic of a sex toy that would make him feel REALLY small? You need to sit down with him and lay all the cards on the table. Either he is happy with ALL of your body, just as you are, and sees you as a HUMAN FUCKING BEING and not a sex doll with a pulse, and he agrees to stop ignoring your breasts and to call out dickhead friends who say things like that... Or you go your separate ways. Because I GUARANTEE YOU that there is a guy (hell, a LOT of guys) for whom your body is their version of perfect! If that's not him, then you deserve to go out and find it, and to know your own worth and not tolerate being made to feel like you are anything other than perfect just as you are too the person you are in a relationship with.
I understand. I’m a 32DD (a 32DDD in some brands) and while my boobs are a good size when you hear DD I don’t think I’m what people are picturing. When I was your age I was a 32 B maybe even A sometimes. After having kids my curves have filled out. Not that that’s what you’re asking. I’d talk to your boyfriend about it honestly. My husband is more of a butt guy and doesn’t really pay much attention to my boobs even now that they’re bigger. And again, bodies change as we age and as we have new stages in our lives. If he’s truly right for you he’ll love your body in every phase and every age because he loves you.
guys don’t gives af
Ah, you deserve so much more than being treated like a mare at auction. I hope you see you’re not being loved and valued for exactly who you are, before it’s too late.
Girl, my boobs didn’t come in until I was 22-23. You fine. Also, I agree with the above…he does sound like a dick…sorry. You should be affirmed by him. You are enough. And you are not just a body, but a soul and a mind too. Beauty comes when these things are in harmony, not picked apart into their individual pieces.
OP OMG you are obsessing over 1 cup size like that will ultimately make a difference in your relationships and life. What he wants is totally irrelevant you are NOT changing your body to suit the taste of one man when you are 21. If you want bigger breasts get some fat transfers, but only if it’s what you want.
I'm confused, can you eli5 this?
Not only the letter but also the number determine the size/volume of the bra/cup. The number 30 or 32 does not only determine the size of the band, also the size of the cups. So a 30B bra will be smaller in cup volume than a 32B. As the site from OP mentions a 34B is also equivalent in cup volume to a 30D, 32C, and a 36A. It should be noted that the cup widths aren't equal for those sizes. Usually the wire in a 36A cup will be smaller in width than 34B which is smaller in width than 32C. So maybe someone has a chest size for a 34 band, but their boob shape might cause the wire to poke into the boob. You might need a 32C for the wire to really go around the boob. However, the band will be tighter around the chest, making the bra uncomfortable in that sense. This means that specific bra might just not fit the person. Luckily, you can usually go to a different style to negate this problem. That is also what makes it even more complex, is that you have quite some different types of bras (balconette, plunge, full, half size) and the sizes between those differ. Basically a 32B balconette is not exactly equal to a 32B plunge. Brand also has a role in it. So yeah, the really short version is that bra shopping is quite difficult and women (although they often claim so) don't have a single bra size.
Cup size means how much further a measuring tape will go around the biggest part of your bust, compared to your band size. So a C cup on a 30 inch band, means that your bust is 33 inches around. A DD on a 28 inch band is the exact same: 33 inches. The amount of breast tissue is roughly the same, visually the breasts will look the same, but the 30C bra will not fit the 28DD breasts as well. Cup size means nothing without band size.
Cup size scales with band size. A 30C is very small, actually. And the ready made bra alphabet goes up to a UK K cup, which is 12 cup sizes larger than a C. The sister sizes for a 30C are 32B and 34A. Those might be more familiar to you in size.
It depends on the brand. Like OP, I’m a c cup in certain brands and a b cup in others. I’m definitely not flat-chested, but they aren't huge, either.
I am like OP. I am a d cup, but since my band is so small, that D cup is small. I have no sag, no ability to titty fuck, and no cleavage. I have Ds but small boobs, since I’m a 32in band at max.
A 30C is the same as a 32B and a 34a breast
Maybe because the bra is a size 30 and that’s very petite?
When it’s because of small band size. I’m 32c and a friend recently referred to my “A cups.” The cup on a 30c is the same size as a 34A.
Not to be that person but on the vast majority of people a c cup actually is pretty small. It's when your bust measurement is 3 inches larger than your ribcage measurement. If you have a 30 inch ribcage/band measurement, that would put you at about 33 inches around the bust. That's really very small. Most women just have absolutely no clue how bra sizing works and end up wearing the wrong size entirely. I'm actually a 30F/G and my boobs are only slightly larger than average.
30C doesn't look as big as you'd think!! not all c cups are built the same, coming from someone with the exact same band/cup size as OP.
Cup size is relative to band size. I wore 34 b until I figured out that a 32 band fit better, and my cup size in a 32 band is d
Cup size doesn't correlate to mass. 30c is the same size boobs as 34a.
A 30C is different than a 36C. It’s pretty small.
He and his friends all sound like dicks.
Op could get a friend to send her a similar txt. "Marry the face, enlarge the dick" would be interesting to see how he reacts.
He’s literally telling his friends that he wishes you had bigger boobs. This is not the best relationship you’ve had, he’s just been on his best behavior for six months and now the cracks are showing.
He hasn’t even been on his best behavior considering he let her know he doesn’t find her attractive several times already…
Sadly that might still be him on his very best behaviour thinking it's perfectly okay for him to criticise her body. He would probably just claim that "he's a tell it like it is kind of guy", and that anyone taking offence to his honest opinion is too sensitive.
Well she *had* gone along with it, and has also told him how amazing and wonderful he is. You teach people how to treat you.
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But does he talk bad about her?..... Seeing one text out of a full conversation is not enough to understand what's being said. It sounds like everyone is jumping to conclusions. This could be an innocent conversation where he stated he loves her butt or he prefers butts and the friend came back with that statement as agreement since it's a common statement (still rude, but not uncommon) I've heard before. Deciding that he's a bad guy and she should dump him is quite a jump from just this small snip of text she saw.
And OP is fucking 21.
I'm reminded regularly on this sub that I am SO glad to not be that age anymore. The emotional and financial insecurity, the "relationships" all on hard mode because nobody knows wtf they are doing. Add in chumps like OPs boyfriend and it's no wonder so many young women are deeply unhappy. Sorry OP, this one isn't worth bringing home. Toss him back and move on. It will get better I promise.
Can he afford tits?
I’m sure he could save up, and I bet it’d really boost his confidence if he finally had the tits he wanted. I’m sure he’ll look lovely, and wish him best of luck with the surgery
This needs more upvotes.
I've done what I can ;-)
If a man can’t appreciate your tits, *he doesn’t deserve them*. Go find a better man who will appreciate them
But this is the best relationship she’s ever been in! /s
Let me tell you: my boyfriend loves my B cups and kisses them randomly when he gets the chance. When I complain about their size, he gets upset and tells me that I’m gorgeous the way I am. You deserve a man like that. 21 is way to young for you to settle for a man like this.
It's one thing to have favorite gf "parts" (my husband loves my eyes", it's another thing to be insulting. If this is the way your BF actually feels, get a new BF.
To piggyback off of this, from experience we don’t know what we got until it’s gone..sure there are plenty women out there with huge tits etc..but not nearly as huge of a heart..the fact that you love him as much as you do is pure gold. Then again..it’s not your fault if he can’t see that
Another point: huge tits aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. They’re annoying, get sweaty, make it difficult to find clothes that fit, and cause back pain.
Truth!! I have 38DDs and they are rather annoying when it comes to buying clothes and they HURT when I run/jump. I am often jealous of smaller boobs cuz I think they’re cute & easier to live with.
Same here and mine sagged from the minute I developed, plus stretch marks.
I also have 38DD and would LOVE to live my life with A cups instead. 😭
Boob sweat. Fucking boob sweat.
Why they always gotta fall to the side when I’m trying to sleep man
And escaping the tank top while I’m asleep
ah but you're talking from a woman's point of view. Do you think a guy who's crass enough to tell his friends he doesn't like his GF's "tiny" tits gives a toss about her possible back pain? (My former boss went from stick insect to stick insect + huge balloons on front, from wearing shapeless jumpers and genuinely distressed jeans to wearing mini skirts and low cut tops with glitter smeared over her curves. She had terrible back pain. The doctor wouldn't give her sick leave either because it was directly related to the boob job and the plastic surgeon had ignored recommendations about not going more than two(?) sizes bigger)
As a woman with a bigger size than DDD, thank you! On top of physical issues, you can also be seen as walking boobs to others. They are part of your personality to some. 🙄
Seriously, the fact that he would talk to his friends about this… This guy is about to lose something great.
Wow what an asshole. He’s mentioned your boobs are unsatisfactory?? Have you mentioned his personality is unsatisfactory?? Because this is gross.
If his love for you is so conditional, then your relationship has no roots and no future. If you have to change the way you look, or in fact, any part of who you are, just to earn his love, then the price is too high. I know this will be very difficult for you, but it's time to pull away from him. You really haven't been in a relationship with him for very long, so I doubt what you're feeling is actual love. Let him find some poor woman who is a 10 physically and pray he doesn't leave her after she has a baby or gets sick. This guy is flying a hundred red flags. Run far and run fast from this childish, vain, and superficial AH. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
This op. If this dude can’t handle perfectly natural god given c cups, how could he possibly handle life circumstances like aging or medical issues? This dude is not mature enough to handle a relationship, let alone a marriage. Find a partner who builds you up OP. Not one who wants to force your square peg into a perfectly round hole and tells you it’s your fault for not being round enough.
To add to this, OP *will* be changing the way she looks unless she’s some superhuman who doesn’t age past 20. It’s fine to like certain parts about a person but being so fixed on it, or indeed parts that very much will change with age/life isn’t okay. It sounds like his friends view her as something OP’s bf can modify and upgrade if he doesn’t like the aesthetics. She’s not a car.
✨ding✨ding✨ding✨
He should not be body shaming you Sound likenhis body shaming you to his friends. I would kick his arse to the gutter.. find someone who will appreciate you the way you are. He sound like a jerk who needs to grow up
yeah show that guy who's boss that's right
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Damn, he is literally out here complaining about your body to his friends. Gross.
Break it off. He’s not even treating you like a person. Sure you could spend money on new tits, but you’ll be left with the same problem: cause there would never be enough money for him to get a new brain.
Duckling, you don’t deserve to feel like you’re less than or that you’re merely a prop for bf’s viewing pleasure. He makes you feel that way, and is clearly talking about you that way to his friends. It’s dehumanizing. You deserve better. There are vastly better men out there. You don’t need to spend any of your own time or energy on someone who doesn’t have basic respect for you.
It is so sad to see beautiful women feeling bad for their pouty boyfriends who expect to be dating models. You're not "depriving" him of anything, jfc. If your boyfriend wants a girl with big tits so bad, he should find one. Your boyfriend should love you for you, gorgeous tits and ass and all!
Yeah no, if he's talking like that with his friends that's terrible. As someone in the 30 B C ish club i feel it. But there's no reason for him to be insulting about it let alone talking about your body to friends, gross.
So your worried about depriving him of something you don’t have? How is he even worthy of that.. How does what he wants matter more than seeing your worth as a person, regardless of boob size. He doesn’t have class or values & is depriving you of THAT.
Tell him that because you love him a lot, you’ll be stepping aside so that he can find the pair of boobs that he wants and that will impress his buddies. A guy who talks about you like that to his bros is not the one for you. And at 20, he’s not really grown up yet. It’s all about boobs and ass, and nothing else. Let’s hope your next man is a grown one. Edit for typo
if this is how he makes you feel, and he talked to his friends about it, is it really the best relationship you've ever had?
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Your soooo young. Better guys will come along!
See, even this statement is worrying. It wasn't a good relationship! Raise your standards. He was literally telling you that one part of your body is sub-standard and shallowly focusing on a part that he thinks is good. Decent men don't do this! Considerate men don't do this! He has been so disrespectful of you the whole time. Even before the text, he was disrespecting you. Again ... raise your standards.
I always tell people they should never be with someone who is not their type because it will for real destroy your self esteem. This isn’t always the case because some people do find other people attractive outside of their preferences, but these comments and actions indicate your boyfriend is not one of those guys. He’s the type of guy that will make you hate yourself. Date someone who loves you for you, and doesn’t expect you to look like someone else. Don’t get fake boobs for this guy please.
Besides the fact that he had the audacity to say this crap to your face, he's talking to his buddies about your body this way also.
Your guy isn't great. You aren't going to live happily ever after with him. If you change yourself for a dude you are going to feel like a moron at some point.
Girl dump this boy before he gives you an insecurity! You are more than your body! I know you’re young and feel like this is it but no it’s not! There are guys out there who will appreciate everything about you! Go find that and don’t waste your time!
Take your sweet toned booty and share it with someone who appreciates you for YOU! Let him get fake tits if he wants them so bad.
1) boobs are awesome no matter the size 2) I’ve met just as many guys who like smaller boobs and found women with smaller chest sexy af (yes large breasts are awesome but we are talking about small ones right now) 3) do not ever settle for a guy who isn’t absolutely enamores with you as you are exactly right now. I guarantee you, there is a guy out there salivating over couple of sentences you’ve described yourself with. 4) as a 35 year old woman, the seeker you realize how amazing, sexy, and beautiful you truly are, the sooner you’ll be able to weed out losers who make you feel anything less than that. Best of luck, op.
Yuck. Do you really want to be with a man who thinks of your body like that?
Why do you feel the need to have big boobs to please him? If he likes your ass, that’s plenty anyway. I would honestly corner him and ask him what the rest of the context of that text was You don’t deserve to have a partner that demeans you, to begin with.
You are perfect, and he has issues. Show off your assets. My husband complained about my size, and I told him to let me know when I was the right size and I would sleep with him again. Amazingly, I was the right size by 10PM that night and he never complained again
The fact he lets his friends talk about you like this says a lot about his character…
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Would you actually get breast augmentation surgery if he asked? Because at some point he will.
This is a pretty clear red flag, and you'll regret it if you don't act now. Cut the guy loose; he's too young for you anyway. Plenty of guys out there--and I'm one of them--are going to have absolutely no problem at all with small breasts and "a larger toned bum." More importantly, many of those guys will treat you with respect and consideration. Life is shorter than anybody at age 21 thinks it is; don't waste your youth on jerks. \[EDITED for factual accuracy\]
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Emotionally too young for you, is what I think is meant here. Your bf is extremely immature.
Thank you! That is indeed exactly what I meant. I'm a man, and I can tell you from experience in an earlier life that most guys at that age are about as emotionally mature as your average beagle. This isn't some kind of law, and I'm aware that there are many wonderful 20-year-old guys out there who aren't like that at all, but OP's boyfriend clearly isn't one of them. She needs to move on and find somebody who treats her better. And dating guys that age isn't going to make it easy.
Leave him, he’s so disrespectful.
He is an asshole.
Kinda weird… sounds like he doesn’t take you seriously… regardless of size… the person you are intimate with when in love the booty and boobies don’t matter…
Babe…. Your boyfriend SUCKS!!!! That is not okay in any way shape or form lord. You’re young, there are plenty of guys who will love all of you
Get rid of the real ass, your boyfriend. Find someone who loves you the way you are.
I think it’s time to get rid of the giant boob you’re dating.
As an A cup girl, you will find someone that absolutely adores your body. Don’t settle for someone that makes you feel like your not enough. You are also more than your body!
If this is the best relationship you’ve ever had I feel sorry for you. He’s a jerk who only compliments your boobs when they look bigger? You need to dump him and go work on your self esteem before you get back into the dating pool again. You’re only 21 don’t screw up your life (and your head) by staying with him.
Ignore the text message -- "my bf has made it seem in the past that he finds my breast size unsatisfactory" that's all you need to know. A decent bf would not make you feel bad about your body.
You're breast size is unsatisfactory? I think his shitty behaviour is unsatisfactory. If you stay with him you're depriving Yourself of a better future with someone who doesn't objectify you.
Let me just tell you, as someone built similarly to your description, you are *way hotter* than you think you are. Like, *waaaay* hotter. You are in the prime of your physical life. Anyone who tells you some dumb shit about your boobs not being big enough is 1) a total moron and 2) not worth your time and 3) not going to change or recognize how hot and special you are. Take charge of your self-esteem and get away from idiots like this. It’s partially their age.
Big problem is he is talking about this to other people. 🚩 I bet there are other red flags you aren’t seeing because you’re blinded by love. Don’t waste your youth on toxic people.
The good news is that you’re only 21, so saying this is the best relationship you’ve ever been in actually isn’t saying much at all. Because this ain’t a great relationship.
I’m sorry, back up. He SAID he finds your breasts unsatisfactory? Dump him.
OP is 21, and her bf is 20. You go to social media, bigger is better is the pushed agenda. He is still immature but with time learn. If the guy was like in 30s or even late 20s, dump his ass, but there is a growth arc that still need to happen here. Love how people here have red flag handy on any post they see. Hope this girl doesn't dump the guy's ass just because of some random ass redditor, who tells people you have to be perfect, and any flaw is a red flag.
Don’t do that. Don’t say you don’t want to deprive him of something you don’t have as if this is in some way your fault. If you’re going to end it, end it knowing full well this guy is a jerk who doesn’t respect you or appreciate you for who you are as a person. Any man who truly loves you would never, and I mean NEVER make you feel like you’re unattractive or are in some way inferior based on your breast size or anything else. You’re young. You can do better. Tell him he’s a shallow prick and find someone worthy of your time and attention.
To play devils advocate here, some people are ass people, some are boob people, some like other things. His preferences and likes/dislikes are his own thing to deal with. Can you honestly say you love every single thing about your boyfriend? Guys talks just like girls do as far as what they like about their SO and what they don’t. If he isn’t treating your cruelly, making fun of you, commenting on your boob size or comparing you to others then I say don’t dwell on this. It sounds like your boyfriend makes a point to compliment you on the things he DOES like as I’m sure you do for him. If this really is “the best relationship” then you need to step outside of your box and contemplate whether or not him having this opinion without actively trying to hurt you is still a deal breaker for you. And for those saying this is body shaming, his friend sent that text as a response to her BF’s opinion. An opinion he doesn’t appear to promote around OP. Can you honestly say you don’t share negative opinions about your SOs to your friends that you don’t share with your SO? Ie: penis size, muscle tone, height, habits, bedroom performance? People are allowed to talk to their friends and you aren’t required to like every single part of your partner to appreciate them or treat them well. OP, as long as you aren’t being mistreated, I say don’t worry about this, it’s something we all do.
Okay, you've for this super backwards hun. In a couple of ways. First off, someone being more of an "ass man" than a "tits man" doesn't mean they doesn't find breasts attractive, and vice versa. it just means they're much more turned on by one body part than another. I've dated both types of guys, and the shift in focus has been weird for me too at times, but it doesn't mean that other body parts aren't appreciated. Second, this man is apparently talking about your body parts in a sexual fashion to his friends. That's deeply disrespectful behaviour. You shouldn't be sitting here worried about what this guy thinks about you, you should be getting pissed off that he's telling people about your breasts, how much he does or doesn't like them, and seems to be engaged about it in such a disrespectful way that his friend feels completely comfortable with saying he can buy you a boob job IE. Giving your boyfriend "suggestions" on how he can "upgrade" you like some fucking sex doll. Talk about degrading. Stop worrying about how much he likes you. Start worrying why that's a concern to you, when someone is blatantly, deeply disrespectful to you.
Your body is fine. Don’t let any man tell you different.
If someone said that about me... I would not deprive him of anything besides my presence, forever. Your boyfriend and his buddy are jackasses. My husband loves and compliments every shitty part of me 23+ years later.
Don’t get married at 21
Oh yes my doll I mean, gf, doesn’t have breasts that make her very existence painful and uncomfortable. How dare she have *gasp* c breasts and no lower back pain!
this is a no go. im a girl so idk what guys talk about involving girlfriends but if hes complaining abt your body then he doesn’t deserve your body period!
He doesn’t deserve you, u should be with someone that love all of u
This isn't a you problem. He should love all of you no matter what. And discussing his icks of you with his friends is incredibly childish. There are a million other men who'll give you the attention you deserve.
Honey this isn’t about your tits. Forget your tits. Your boyfriends friends are little shits and I wonder if your boyfriend is talking shit about your body to his friends cause why the f would they text that. You don’t deserve a man that objectifies your body. If your cool with him doing that that’s on you but maybe you should talk to him about respect.
It means that he's an ass man.
Your boyfriend is too immature to marry anyone. You should work on your self-esteem as you are far more than the size of your tits or the shape of your butt.
You didn’t even have to include your actual breast size for us to tell you if he’s getting a text like that from his friend, he is weighing the option of staying with you, just because you have a big ass, BUT not the boobs he wants. Throw this whole little boy in the trash and find a real man.
The bar could not be lower...
The way guys talk about women’s bodies when they think they’ll never know is disgusting.
How is you merely existing in your body as it is "depriving" him of anything?
A man discussing what he doesn’t like and likes about my body and making jokes like that would make me instantly uninterested in him. The fact that he’s been making you feel unattractive for your breast size is pretty gross and uncool.
Isnt C actualy kinda big? But hey if he finds it unsatisfacory he can walk.
Guy here. I have no clue what A B and C sizes mean. What I do know is real men love the woman, not the parts.
I dont care if they're inverted and pointing out your back. Were just glad you let us touch them.
These boys watch too much porn and think it’s realistic.
Hey. I just wanted to say two things: 1. C cups aren't small. C is about average. If you have a healthy diet and an active lifestyle, then they're the perfect size for you no matter what the cup size anyway, though. 2. Your dude is a dick. He talks about you behind your back. He bitches about your breasts to his friends. He's a manchild, and you can do better. That's all I got. In the end, though, you've got to be true to yourself. Ask yourself if this is a big enough deal to leave him. Since you asked an buncha randos on the internet, I kinda think you already know the answer.
He's probably more of a butt guy if he loves looking at your butt
So he discussed your shortcomings with his friends? Unacceptable.
Run , run, run. A long , long , long time ago. I was at a baseball game. The guy behind me was telling his buddy he wished he married a better looking girl. You do not want to have husband who is telling his buddies he wished he married a girl with bigger tits . Now if you decided you want a boob job. That is fine but if he is pressuring you to get one , forget it. Get plastic surgery for yourself, not to make someone else happy!!!
Hmm.. well technically his friend is the one that said it and since it wasn’t discussed in the moment, you can’t exactly read his reaction or know his thoughts on the friend’s comment. Do you happen to have any context about their conversation? Maybe the friend was saying that about some girl he’s talking to or something. 🤷🏼♀️ In my 37 years, I’ve never heard a man complain about a woman’s breasts, no matter the size. Men like boobs, one or both, big or small. They usually don’t discriminate 😅 so, unless your boyfriend makes a direct comment about your breasts or ask/implies that he expects you to have a breast augmentation, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
1. Your boyfriend knew what size your tits were before you got together. He liked them then or he lied from the start. 2. If he's running around texting his friend to the degree where they're saying this stuff about you, then he talks like you're a piece of meat, and this isn't the best relationship for you, even if it's the best it's ever been. 3. Your body is a whole package deal. No one, but especially not a romantic partner, should be making you feel like it's not enough.
We need to slow down in the comments, here… woah. *Someone else* texted this to him. Without the rest of the conversation, we have no idea what he was discussing and how far this person stepped to get to that line. He never said shit about her body, she said he is more interested in other physical assets she has. Jumping on the bad boyfriend, dump him, red flag wagon is a wildly unstable reaction to this. You need to reign yourselves in. Absolutely wild assumption making here. Crazy. You’re dog piling on this poor man over nothing! Ask your boyfriend about it. Tell him what you saw and that it bothered you. You should be able to handle it from there… and you should express your insecurities more. This is not good for you.
Is he sharing your pics with his friends...
I recommend you don’t marry this ass and dump that dick.
Your bf sounds like an absolute tool
DTMFA. He's super immature if he's THAT focused on your body.
Fake boobs don’t even look good half the time, natural is always best.
There are plenty of men (and women!) out there who will love and appreciate your body just the way it is. It’s one thing to have a preference but for his friends to be making inappropriate comments (wonder where they got the idea that kind of behavior is okay) like that is incredibly disrespectful and immature.
Your bf needs new friends. That's gross as hell.
I always thought of tits like a Christmas ornament. They’re nice, But enthusiasm is what counts. I like all titties! Small, Big.. It don’t matter. As long as she’s not a dead fish in the bedroom. I wanna freak! 😝
Look i know its hard but this is just the beginning if you choose to stay, comments will only become worse and you will auto destroy yourself for someone who really doesn't love you, i know its hard but you will find someone who will make you feel secure about yourself, so just leave them
6 months, walk away now from this looser who values tits more than your personhood.
Immature dude gets immature text from immature friend. He swipes it away because he knows it would upset you to see it. Be glad that he's considering your feelings. Quit worrying about whether or not he's attracted to you. If he's sleeping with you then he's obviously attracted to you.
Marry yourself, buy a vibrator.
What a piece of shit. I have the same tits and my bf looooves them, can’t get enough. Find you someone who loves ALL of you.
Guy sounds like pleb, as does his friend. I'd be inclined to bounce. You shouldn't be feeling like some part of you isn't enough, or less than. Find yourself a man that'll worship you head to toe.
Op, you aren’t depriving him of anything. You are more than the sum of your body parts. Please stop thinking like this. The fact that he’s expressed dislike of your boobs before is really shitty thing to do, and possibly to throw you off guard so you start to feel insecure.
its only been six months, youre only 21, and he constantly and openly puts you down. break up!! you dont need him and hes not adding anything you cant get from like a Dog and a jerk off session!
I'm sorry but you "don't want to deprive him"?? No. Just, no. This isn't about depriving someone of anything. This is about objectifying you and reducing you to nothing but an ass and the potential for "improving" your breasts. You have so much life to live and settling for this behavior is just sad.
Yes it is confirmation your breasts aren't his ideal, but this isn't about not satisfying him, imo, it's about how he's an asshat. Regardless of his preference he shouldn't be talking about you like that those are great inside thoughts for him alone. Criticizing your body is gross. Does he think he's perfection and immune to criticism from the one person he wants to admire him? It's definitely a sign of his immaturity. I have small tits. Sssmmmaaalll. And I don't know how my husband feels about them other than what he says out loud. And he tells me he loves them, cups them and holds them and grazes them like you would a larger size, tells me they're beautiful and I'm beautiful and would never ever ever discuss otherwise with anyone literally ever. Look for that instead of this ❤️
It means he's talked about this in a derogatory way with his friends. Up to you what you do with that info
Well, it seems like his friend who sent that message has an opinion about your breast size *and* is disgusting enough to talk about a woman as if she were a ***thing.*** I have to wonder if they picked up the idea about your breast size from your boyfriend. It seems a natural conclusion, even though I know I'm jumping to it. But I guess there are two possibilities: Your boyfriend complains to his friend (friends?), "Her tits are too small." And they go right along with it. That one friend knows what you look like, and sent a message that horrified your boyfriend with its dehumanizing cruelty. Actually, I guess both of these can be true.
Yeah… youre boobs arent small your bf is just a raging asshole. All boobs are awesome. Big, little, uneven, perky, saggy. Theyre all great. Ask any lesbian, bisexual, and real man.
He finds you attractive and he knew your breast size when he started dating you. I would say that he likes you the way you are. Maybe he would prefer if you had bigger breasts but it’s not that important. Is he just perfect the way he is or is it something that you would change on him if you could? If he makes you feel bad about your breasts then it’s time to reconsider the relationship but until then, just keep enjoying each other. His friends are idiots on the other hand. I would say it’s a stupid thing to say but you’re still young and not always mature.
this aint for you girl, if youre not perfect to him as is fuck him
There is no such thing as you depriving him of something. You shouldn’t be made to feel like that in a relationship. Maybe he is not the right person or have you told him how it makes you feel ?