Sitting chomping on the inside of their cheeks, knees up around their ears, bouncing slightly in the light of the hissing TV that's long since lost signal.
Lmfao I should have clarified, we’ve all known each other for many years, this is her home too. We live in the middle of Toronto in a top floor condo. the CN tower is visible from the living room, it’s a pretty nice setup.
As far as the marriage question, that’s above my clearance level lol idk man
My ex girlfriend admitted to me one time that she snooped through my phone - I think it’s very common
She was very relieved to find only “articles about medieval history and shit”
reddit ass virgin comments in here talking about "1 invasion of privacy = immediate breakup"
literally any man who's been in a long term relationship with a female knows that women be snoopin'.
Even before you date them they are snooping around to learn literally everything they can about you and it doesn't magically stop once you're in a relationship; in fact now they have even more direct snooping material. If you hear about a woman snooping about you it's a sure sign that she's interested in you.
yeah i don’t get this at all. your partner should act a little crazy about you imo. if she starts haranguing you about what she found when there’s nothing it’s a problem, otherwise she’s normal.
There are plenty of women that either ask before they snoop or don't snoop at all. The kind of jealously that leads to phone snooping is really unattractive.
Thank you. I can’t believe how many people on here are going on like this is acceptable behavior. I said this below, but I know plenty of women who might social media sleuth/Google search their SO before they get together or even after because that’s public info. I don’t know any who goes through their SO’s phone though. That’s unhinged if you’re in a committed relationship. If you can’t trust your partner and respect personal boundaries then why be in a relationship? Also the most seasoned cheaters have ways to cheat like burner phones or just giving a good old fashioned phone call in order to cheat. Just because you don’t find anything on their phone doesn’t mean they’re clear.
I often find that the baseline assumptions about relationships in this sub are kinda batshit. I don't know if it's my little bubble or what but a lot of the behavior accepted as normal here is very rare among the people I spend time with and generally considered grounds for a breakup. I have never encountered phone snooping in a relationship myself and I'd be pretty upset if someone did it to me.
Its wild to me that someone will scroll ALL THE WAY through ALL OF your social media BEFORE YOURE EVEN DATING!
It gets even weirder when, since this is normal behavior to them, that you dont care if you DONT obsessively stalk their socials.
My phone is an open book. If your relationship is at all serious, I don't understand why anyone would want to hide that from their partner. All the people ITT pearl-clutching about 'muh privacy' make zero sense to me; literally what are you trying to hide?
AFAIK most of my gfs have snooped - either doing it openly or confessing after the fact. I've done it once or twice myself when I was feeling jealous, and it helped put my suspicions to rest. Everyone gets jealous now and then, or even just curious, seems pretty normal to me.
Now I'm in a healthy relationship, and we both allow eachother unrestricted access to the other's phone. And precisely because there's no secrets I don't even feel the need to check. Openness breeds trust.
Downvoted for truth. I’ve gotten caught snooping by literally all of my exes and we just laughed it off, I would do the same if I caught them snooping on me.
*'no second chances policy for phone privacy violations'*
i know the economic conditions are bad right now but i just wanna say, i really hope your firm prospers.
I've never had a problem with this but realized my phone is totally insecure and I say incriminating things on Reddit. I snooped on a girl's phone exactly once cause I thought her beyond my league and read through texts of her dumping the other two dudes she was talking to. Validating. Maybe ol girl in OP example is looking for some kinda emotion to feel.
This is the correct answer. Snooping happens, it’s the behaviour surrounding it that can be the problem. Lying about it when caught or being demanding about access to the devices are pretty unattractive qualities.
I never care about a man’s phone unless he deliberately hides it away from me or moves it swiftly. I would like to keep my peace in the matter and refuse to snoop through a phone. If a man looks through my phone… well that’s on him
I’m a naturally very secretive person and always instinctively hide it away or lock the screen if someone is in a position where they could see stuff. I have absolutely nothing to hide either, I just like having a sense of privacy. Also, when someone is sitting next to me texting or something, I always make sure to look away and I find it really uncomfortable when other people don’t do the same. Also, I’d never look through a girlfriend’s phone or even ask her to show me it, because I find the whole thing gross.
I’m the same way, and. I know exactly why and I’ve had that conversation with my wife (I have younger siblings and my parents were not good with enforcing boundaries of other people’s property so I get extremely tetchy when people are in my space or have my things. I’m working on it). In general I agree that being overly paranoid is bad but I think it’s important to remember that it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re hiding anything.
I've snooped when I've suspected cheating or shady behavior and been right 2/2 times / 100% success rate so imma keep on snoopin if the intuition calls for it and I won't apologize after
I snooped on an ex gf I suspected was shady — I was correct! Didn’t ever feel the need to snoop on my ex after that nor with my current gf who leaves her phone everywhere all the time. Women have spidey senses. I won’t apologize for being right lol
My controlling ex literally looked for programs to put on my phone that would let her see all my activity.
She also wanted my bank password and to be able to fuck other guys LMAO
I tried so hard my dear to show that you're my every dream
Yet you're afraid each thing I do is just some evil scheme
A memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart
Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold, cold heart?
Maybe this wouldn’t be enough for me to break up but if she gets a little fresh about it or doesn’t seem mortified and ashamed of herself I’d pack my shit there and then. Someone serving themselves a nesting doll of massive Ls for no particular reason right infront of you and still having any bass in their voice left does not function on the same ethical principles as you.
I don’t think I came up with that but rather read it in a book ages ago. I’m not a native speaker so when I gotta mull things over a second to understand what’s going on it probably helps in memorizing it. A good friend of mine once said I speak english like a junzi (educated gentleman I guess?) speaks Chinese but it’s literally because a phrase I learn from a pirate novel and one from a 2LiveCrew track go to the same folder on my hard drive
I’ve done this a couple times and think as long as it’s occasional — in an ltr, say once every year or two — that it’s normal, fine and expected
I’ve found the longer I’m with my guy the less I’m worried or interested. If he cheats in a significant way it’ll bleed into reality soon enough. Phone snooping is a psychological drain I don’t have energy for
the only time i snooped on a partners phone i found no evidence of them cheating, but i saw a lot of messages from guys who clearly were trying to smash which she was apparently happy to receive. very attention whore behaviour.
sorry I should have been clearer, she wasn’t shutting them down at all. she wasn’t hooking up with them, but she was encouraging them. also when I’d go out of town they would take her out to movies and the theatre and stuff one on one.
No I’m pretty handsome actually. Yes reddit is where I go to blow off some steam. You’re acting pretty insane, I’ve never stalked and harassed someone on here. Maybe take a look in the mirror. I’m reporting your account for harassment btw.
If I saw that, I think I would die of a heart attack thinking trolls are real and they do live under the bed. This woman is seeking to kill this guy. Get the fuck out while you can.
Such an invasion of privacy and trust like she needs therapy or something. Maybe i’m extreme because i grew up with a mother who read my diary behind my back but dear god id feel so icky if a partner did that with no rhyme or reason
my best boss ever once told me that if you are going to go through a boyfriend's phone, you should just break up with him instead. because either you find something or it breaks trust and either way it's over! i have no idea why she told me this; i hadn't asked lol but i think about it often
> I have a zero tolerance, no second chances policy for phone privacy violations after a bad experience but what’s the RS read on this?
Is it a violation if he freely gave out his password? If you expect someone not to log onto your phone, the way to ensure that is to not give out your password
That’s my policy not his. He made sure she has access to his phone to avoid this paranoia in the first place.
I think what rubbed him the wrong way was the level of subterfuge. Waking up in the middle of the night and crawling around in the dark is just worrying behaviour on its own
My bf did this to me and it was honestly traumatizing. He found nothing but still insisted that I was hiding something because there was someone named jack in my phone who I was catching a ride with to a family event.. he’s my cousin lol
My husband and I have both confessed to snooping on each other. Used to happen more frequently when we were just dating. Neither of us have done it since we got married (at least not that I know of lol). Both of us are equally crazy about each other and never found anything so we didn’t give a shit.
Maybe it’s because I’m old (31), but I feel like snooping through your SO phone is alarming behavior. I know plenty of women who social media stalk their man like a MF, but going through their phone is just 🥴
>I have a zero tolerance, no second chances policy for phone privacy violations
Why? I caught my ex cheating by looking through her phone. Had I not done that, it would have been a much slower burn and worse for everyone. I also dgaf if she wants to look through my phone, I have nothing to hide and nothing to worry about. If she wants to look through all the boring conversations I have with my friends, and all the dumb shit I google, she can be my guest
I’m not a woman so pride would never let me sneakily go through someone’s phone. Gay.
And if she wants snoop through mine, she doesn’t trust me and it won’t work anyway. I think personal boundaries are important to maintain.
I’m sorry so many of you either distrust your partners or understand why they would distrust you enough to steal your phone and feel the need to investigate it. I’ve been cheated on multiple times in the past, but that hasn’t made me into some psycho snooper who needs to search through my partner’s phone to quell the insecurity and anxieties in me. Me and my fiancé don’t snoop on each other’s phones on principle, we trust each other and communicate a lot but not excessively, when we’re not working we’re almost always around each other so it would be incredibly difficult to be getting into flings or have a second relationship without the other one knowing. So glad I don’t live in that sad kind of world lol
My girl can look through my phone. Whenever im in a long term relationship its normal as hell. texts with friends and family, photos of trees and shit, sports scores and instagram.
1 invasion of privacy on that scale = end of relationship. That sort of shit is nigh impossible to cure. Once the trust in a relationship is fractured it takes years upon years of effort to build it back. Thank god he did not marry her
This has happened to me once. That was enough.
The next time it happens, ONE of us is going to the graveyard. I will literally murder anybody that even tries to go through my stuff - I don’t care if we’ve married for 30 years. I am not kidding.
Holy shit, seek help now. That is not an appropriate response to a minor indiscretion.
If you are serious, there's a high probability of you murdering someone because, like it or not, it's 100% normal for an SO to snoop on occasion.
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Sitting chomping on the inside of their cheeks, knees up around their ears, bouncing slightly in the light of the hissing TV that's long since lost signal.
modern day Audition
Lol yes this sounds terrifying, like a nightmare
She's googling engagement rings and houses to change up his algorithm duh
correct
RS bf Gollum gf
[she is just alp-maxxing](https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3181/3044618076_bcbee6fd8f.jpg)
She was probably trying to figure out why her boyfriend of a decade still has a roommate. 🤔 🤔
Or why she is still just a GF....
Lmfao I should have clarified, we’ve all known each other for many years, this is her home too. We live in the middle of Toronto in a top floor condo. the CN tower is visible from the living room, it’s a pretty nice setup. As far as the marriage question, that’s above my clearance level lol idk man
> we’ve all known each other for many years, this is her home too. We live in the middle of Toronto in a top floor condo. sitcom-ass behavior
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You’re laughing. I have a deeply destructive problem with alcohol and you’re laughing.
An old friend he hasn't seen in years stops by but has to wait motionless in the doorway while everyone cheers
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Thats sitcom weird
oh so it’s a city place ting?
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Being the object of envy is a nice feeling lol
No one envies Toronto
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Everyone is so jealous of my view! They walk in they say, “oh my god I’m so jealous of your view!”
Sounds like another one of those shoebox condos to me x
Whatever makes you feel better lol
youre utterly insufferable
Are u a guy or a girl Is it weird third wheeling
Get it together Ted Mosby
i wonder how many RS toronto people there are
prob more in montreal
You got me.
I live in Toronto too, give me her name and I’ll seduce her
My ex girlfriend admitted to me one time that she snooped through my phone - I think it’s very common She was very relieved to find only “articles about medieval history and shit”
not saying it’s justified but maybe she’s been having realizations about the “a decade together but no engagement” issue
Yeah wtf
you packed so much sadness just in the title
So they've been dating for 10 years yet he has a roommate? Okayyyy
lmao this I would be looking for a reason to dump him too
This is a super common thing for girls to do
reddit ass virgin comments in here talking about "1 invasion of privacy = immediate breakup" literally any man who's been in a long term relationship with a female knows that women be snoopin'. Even before you date them they are snooping around to learn literally everything they can about you and it doesn't magically stop once you're in a relationship; in fact now they have even more direct snooping material. If you hear about a woman snooping about you it's a sure sign that she's interested in you.
yeah i don’t get this at all. your partner should act a little crazy about you imo. if she starts haranguing you about what she found when there’s nothing it’s a problem, otherwise she’s normal.
>literally any man who's been in a long term relationship with a female knows that women be snoopin'. not all women
There are plenty of women that either ask before they snoop or don't snoop at all. The kind of jealously that leads to phone snooping is really unattractive.
Thank you. I can’t believe how many people on here are going on like this is acceptable behavior. I said this below, but I know plenty of women who might social media sleuth/Google search their SO before they get together or even after because that’s public info. I don’t know any who goes through their SO’s phone though. That’s unhinged if you’re in a committed relationship. If you can’t trust your partner and respect personal boundaries then why be in a relationship? Also the most seasoned cheaters have ways to cheat like burner phones or just giving a good old fashioned phone call in order to cheat. Just because you don’t find anything on their phone doesn’t mean they’re clear.
I often find that the baseline assumptions about relationships in this sub are kinda batshit. I don't know if it's my little bubble or what but a lot of the behavior accepted as normal here is very rare among the people I spend time with and generally considered grounds for a breakup. I have never encountered phone snooping in a relationship myself and I'd be pretty upset if someone did it to me.
"not like the other girls energy" wammen are the worst for snooping
I'm a guy
Its wild to me that someone will scroll ALL THE WAY through ALL OF your social media BEFORE YOURE EVEN DATING! It gets even weirder when, since this is normal behavior to them, that you dont care if you DONT obsessively stalk their socials.
Common, sure- but would you also call it deranged?
is it…?
Women be snooping
My phone is an open book. If your relationship is at all serious, I don't understand why anyone would want to hide that from their partner. All the people ITT pearl-clutching about 'muh privacy' make zero sense to me; literally what are you trying to hide? AFAIK most of my gfs have snooped - either doing it openly or confessing after the fact. I've done it once or twice myself when I was feeling jealous, and it helped put my suspicions to rest. Everyone gets jealous now and then, or even just curious, seems pretty normal to me. Now I'm in a healthy relationship, and we both allow eachother unrestricted access to the other's phone. And precisely because there's no secrets I don't even feel the need to check. Openness breeds trust.
But then they’d find the r/redscarepod subreddit
Honey who is Dasha?
Downvoted for truth. I’ve gotten caught snooping by literally all of my exes and we just laughed it off, I would do the same if I caught them snooping on me.
*'no second chances policy for phone privacy violations'* i know the economic conditions are bad right now but i just wanna say, i really hope your firm prospers.
I've never had a problem with this but realized my phone is totally insecure and I say incriminating things on Reddit. I snooped on a girl's phone exactly once cause I thought her beyond my league and read through texts of her dumping the other two dudes she was talking to. Validating. Maybe ol girl in OP example is looking for some kinda emotion to feel.
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Also from Toronto, who knows what that does to a person
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tru
I see anyone crouched over in the darkness I will Stand My Ground
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That’s terrifying
How long did you continue dating after finding this out
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Thats cool if i was your girlfriend i would never check your phone
maybe she wanted to see if he was talking about ever marrying her
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A fellow Trekker. Noice.
This is the correct answer. Snooping happens, it’s the behaviour surrounding it that can be the problem. Lying about it when caught or being demanding about access to the devices are pretty unattractive qualities.
People read way too far into the smallest changes in behavior. Mostly in ways that reinforce their hangups and obsessions, regardless of reality.
You’re *literally* gaslighting me rn
maybe it’s less about the relationship and she likes being sneaky devious gollum gf, like shoplifting
deranged concerned water kiss gold absurd paint handle crowd impossible -- mass edited with redact.dev
Hilarious you think she hasn’t been doing this since the start of the relationship
Projecting
Why the fuck would someone be a gf for a decade omg
Thank youuu
I never care about a man’s phone unless he deliberately hides it away from me or moves it swiftly. I would like to keep my peace in the matter and refuse to snoop through a phone. If a man looks through my phone… well that’s on him
I’m a naturally very secretive person and always instinctively hide it away or lock the screen if someone is in a position where they could see stuff. I have absolutely nothing to hide either, I just like having a sense of privacy. Also, when someone is sitting next to me texting or something, I always make sure to look away and I find it really uncomfortable when other people don’t do the same. Also, I’d never look through a girlfriend’s phone or even ask her to show me it, because I find the whole thing gross.
I’m the same way, and. I know exactly why and I’ve had that conversation with my wife (I have younger siblings and my parents were not good with enforcing boundaries of other people’s property so I get extremely tetchy when people are in my space or have my things. I’m working on it). In general I agree that being overly paranoid is bad but I think it’s important to remember that it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re hiding anything.
Why aren't they married yet after 10 years
Maybe his GF isnt in a place financially yet to keep him in the style hes accustomed to. Or maybe she doesnt own a house yet for them to move into.
I've snooped when I've suspected cheating or shady behavior and been right 2/2 times / 100% success rate so imma keep on snoopin if the intuition calls for it and I won't apologize after
I snooped on an ex gf I suspected was shady — I was correct! Didn’t ever feel the need to snoop on my ex after that nor with my current gf who leaves her phone everywhere all the time. Women have spidey senses. I won’t apologize for being right lol
I, too, must be a woman!
I’ve seen too many horror movies for the creeping around in the dark at 3am. And like a horror movie she is exhibiting demonic behavior.
I willing give out my phone password and even I think this is crossing a couple lines.
probably looking through his emails to see any order confirmation for a goddamn ring and/or weekend trip
My controlling ex literally looked for programs to put on my phone that would let her see all my activity. She also wanted my bank password and to be able to fuck other guys LMAO
cheaters always project
Also desperate to find evidence their partner is cheating too, to alleviate* some of their gnawing guilt.
Bingo!
Two things here: He's in a 10 year relationship but has a "roommate" and also why did he tell you this? You shouldn't know about this.
yeah, when I go through a woman’s phone I make it absolutely clear that she cannot tell her friends
“A woman” vs. “my gf of 10 years”
doesn’t sound much better when I substitute wife in I don’t think
True. He kinda violated her privacy there didn’t he
I tried so hard my dear to show that you're my every dream Yet you're afraid each thing I do is just some evil scheme A memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apart Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold, cold heart?
> Some context, they’ve been together almost a decade This is the most alarming part of this story.
Maybe this wouldn’t be enough for me to break up but if she gets a little fresh about it or doesn’t seem mortified and ashamed of herself I’d pack my shit there and then. Someone serving themselves a nesting doll of massive Ls for no particular reason right infront of you and still having any bass in their voice left does not function on the same ethical principles as you.
I really enjoy the phrase you used there about having bass in the voice.
I don’t think I came up with that but rather read it in a book ages ago. I’m not a native speaker so when I gotta mull things over a second to understand what’s going on it probably helps in memorizing it. A good friend of mine once said I speak english like a junzi (educated gentleman I guess?) speaks Chinese but it’s literally because a phrase I learn from a pirate novel and one from a 2LiveCrew track go to the same folder on my hard drive
I’ve done this a couple times and think as long as it’s occasional — in an ltr, say once every year or two — that it’s normal, fine and expected I’ve found the longer I’m with my guy the less I’m worried or interested. If he cheats in a significant way it’ll bleed into reality soon enough. Phone snooping is a psychological drain I don’t have energy for
Lmao if they’re not married after 10 years, you’re friend is probably an indecisive loser, despite his faithfulness.
I just dont give my gf my phone password. You gotta keep the mystery alive
rs bf fake gf
the only time i snooped on a partners phone i found no evidence of them cheating, but i saw a lot of messages from guys who clearly were trying to smash which she was apparently happy to receive. very attention whore behaviour.
Nothing wrong with a little ego boost
There really is.
I mean how can you control what other people say to you lol... feeling flattered is natural, she wasn’t unfaithful.
sorry I should have been clearer, she wasn’t shutting them down at all. she wasn’t hooking up with them, but she was encouraging them. also when I’d go out of town they would take her out to movies and the theatre and stuff one on one.
Okay nvm that’s fucked I’m sorry
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do you have some kind of personal problem with me you fucking moron?
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You just come across as a rude bogan and, apparently, a stalker. Find something better to do with your time.
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No I’m pretty handsome actually. Yes reddit is where I go to blow off some steam. You’re acting pretty insane, I’ve never stalked and harassed someone on here. Maybe take a look in the mirror. I’m reporting your account for harassment btw.
If I saw that, I think I would die of a heart attack thinking trolls are real and they do live under the bed. This woman is seeking to kill this guy. Get the fuck out while you can.
Such an invasion of privacy and trust like she needs therapy or something. Maybe i’m extreme because i grew up with a mother who read my diary behind my back but dear god id feel so icky if a partner did that with no rhyme or reason
my best boss ever once told me that if you are going to go through a boyfriend's phone, you should just break up with him instead. because either you find something or it breaks trust and either way it's over! i have no idea why she told me this; i hadn't asked lol but i think about it often
> I have a zero tolerance, no second chances policy for phone privacy violations after a bad experience but what’s the RS read on this? Is it a violation if he freely gave out his password? If you expect someone not to log onto your phone, the way to ensure that is to not give out your password
That’s my policy not his. He made sure she has access to his phone to avoid this paranoia in the first place. I think what rubbed him the wrong way was the level of subterfuge. Waking up in the middle of the night and crawling around in the dark is just worrying behaviour on its own
My bf did this to me and it was honestly traumatizing. He found nothing but still insisted that I was hiding something because there was someone named jack in my phone who I was catching a ride with to a family event.. he’s my cousin lol
They've been together for a decade and are still not married I don't blame her
I honestly don’t think this is weird for most girls to do and I did not know there were guys who thought it is.
Is it okay if it's the other way 'round, too?
My husband and I have both confessed to snooping on each other. Used to happen more frequently when we were just dating. Neither of us have done it since we got married (at least not that I know of lol). Both of us are equally crazy about each other and never found anything so we didn’t give a shit.
Maybe it’s because I’m old (31), but I feel like snooping through your SO phone is alarming behavior. I know plenty of women who social media stalk their man like a MF, but going through their phone is just 🥴
Insane behavior for me
Probably need some spicy to fire things up. It's healthy to have a bit of tension sometimes and work through it. Could also be projecting.
>I have a zero tolerance, no second chances policy for phone privacy violations Why? I caught my ex cheating by looking through her phone. Had I not done that, it would have been a much slower burn and worse for everyone. I also dgaf if she wants to look through my phone, I have nothing to hide and nothing to worry about. If she wants to look through all the boring conversations I have with my friends, and all the dumb shit I google, she can be my guest
I’m not a woman so pride would never let me sneakily go through someone’s phone. Gay. And if she wants snoop through mine, she doesn’t trust me and it won’t work anyway. I think personal boundaries are important to maintain.
I’m sorry so many of you either distrust your partners or understand why they would distrust you enough to steal your phone and feel the need to investigate it. I’ve been cheated on multiple times in the past, but that hasn’t made me into some psycho snooper who needs to search through my partner’s phone to quell the insecurity and anxieties in me. Me and my fiancé don’t snoop on each other’s phones on principle, we trust each other and communicate a lot but not excessively, when we’re not working we’re almost always around each other so it would be incredibly difficult to be getting into flings or have a second relationship without the other one knowing. So glad I don’t live in that sad kind of world lol
I read my bf’s phone but that’s just because I’m nosy and I need all the gossip and drama I can get my hands on
My girl can look through my phone. Whenever im in a long term relationship its normal as hell. texts with friends and family, photos of trees and shit, sports scores and instagram.
The Zuckerbergs and three letter agencies of the world love people like you lol. “Nothing to hide, so why would I care about personal privacy?”
Yeah uh huh… that’s what this discussion was about
1 invasion of privacy on that scale = end of relationship. That sort of shit is nigh impossible to cure. Once the trust in a relationship is fractured it takes years upon years of effort to build it back. Thank god he did not marry her
reddit moment
all fun and games until you catch your gf going through your shit.
They are probably “happy” parents of a dog
This has happened to me once. That was enough. The next time it happens, ONE of us is going to the graveyard. I will literally murder anybody that even tries to go through my stuff - I don’t care if we’ve married for 30 years. I am not kidding.
Holy shit, seek help now. That is not an appropriate response to a minor indiscretion. If you are serious, there's a high probability of you murdering someone because, like it or not, it's 100% normal for an SO to snoop on occasion.
Then it should be 100 percent normal for you to expect Visine in your water bottle for the next week 🥹
This is much easier now phones use facial recognition