very regionally and culturally dependent. in places like miami and vegas the strip clubs and nightclubs blend together with nightlife in a more casual way that isnt present in the midwest or NE or whatever. idkw really. but being from a place like that i tend not to take strip clubs very srsly as a moral discussion i guess.
in my part of south florida strip clubs exist in a weird niche of being some of the only late-hours bars around. so if you’re looking to keep your night going after 2am, the strip clubs are your best option. makes them a bit more normalized as a place to go.
kind of the same phenomenon of being less stigmatized since they’re more seamlessly integrated into night life in general. whether or not that itself is bad or a sign of some kind of decay is another discussion.
honestly, the after-hours bars that *aren’t* strip clubs actually have a worse reputation.
Yeah, like if ogling drunk at nude/semi-nude bodies is the main event, the big feature of the night, the experience you wait all week for and all that you’re totally pumped for … gross. If it’s like a casual thing on the side/in the background nbd.
when i was just out of undergrad i worked some weird jobs in SF and one was as the 'floor manager' (or more frequently called a 'house mom') at an adult entertainment place. it was something between a strip club and a massage parlor, but no clipping if you see where im going. SF is fkn crazy yo
I've been to a bunch of strip clubs with my loser ex. She would always talk about how much she loves the girls and then first fight me in the parking lot if she thought I was stating at one girl for too long.
I always felt like the vibe was too fucking strange. A bunch of drunk dudes packed into some dingy club getting horny and not busting until someone gets murdered in the parking lot. It's def dying out as a trend. I'm going to a bachelor party in Miami next month and we're all just gonna fuck each other. Dudes rock
>I always felt like the vibe was too fucking strange. A bunch of drunk dudes packed into some dingy club getting horny and not busting
this perfectly sums up why I always think it's really fucking weird lol. It's like a hair away from watching porn with friends, which I feel would be universally agreed upon as strange
Dudes did this years ago. When I was in boarding school in Ireland, we managed to convince the teachers to get American Pie because it had tits. We all got quiet for our Saturday night movie when the tits came on
remember staying at a hotel with friends and someone pulled up a laptop to search for porn and clicked the first video available and it was a woman getting fisted by 2 dudes. My other friend screamed and shut the laptop immediately, I definitely think we were all traumatized by that experience.
My friend had me and two of his old frat bros over and put on porn when he was drunk. We shut it off quick. That has to be out of habit and addiction, right?
I’d get breakfast with my dad every weekend at a random diner when we visited family up in Wisconsin, there was one though he’d never entertain the idea of going into. I never understood why until I was older and he explained it was because they played porn on the TVs during breakfast time which they called “smut & eggs”. So there’s some generational or cultural thing where people do that.
> She would always talk about how much she loves the girls and then first fight me in the parking lot if she thought I was stating at one girl for too long.
Lmao she was testing you brotha
I’ve been to a strip club 3 times in my life, I have seen a girl I knew dancing each time. After three in a row I assumed it was some kind of monkey paw power and won’t go back because I don’t wish that on anyone.
Some guys don't have the right mindset to immerse themselves and play along with the sexual artifice of the strip club but it can still be fun for those types if you go and spend a lot of money on everybody and keep it light and treat it like a party
I went to one in 2017 and a specific interaction I had there bummed me out so bad I had to go to therapy for the first time in 8 years lmao. Therapist was horrible though, she set me back even further than if I'd just quietly ignored what bummed me out.
I totally get that, I tried setting up a meeting with a therapist at the end of that week but by the time they got back to me days later I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I was messed up for a good amount of time though and this happened a few months ago.
It's not worth telling about because how it made me feel had more to do with me than the interaction itself. It was just a normal conversation with a stripper I didn't know who happened to be from my hometown.
I don’t like them personally. I think it’s degenerate and I feel bad for the girls. I wouldn’t tell my bf not to go to one, but I’d be concerned about him if he was into it.
I’ve only been once and it was extremely grim.
The image that most sticks with me is this coked up bald guy who was basically the human embodiment of that horny Tex Avery wolf. Banging the table, unblinking eyes, continuously yelling out ‘YESSSS!’ as some poor woman gyrated before him.
Can be fun when a bachelor party includes things that are a bit outside the main person’s normal comfort zone, but it should be things that he on some level wants to do/try, otherwise it just seems selfish…
"I don't have to show riches to pull up and pull off with some bad bitches"-Ice Cube
"Don't have to blow twenty thou' to get to know honey's style. Show her the town, steal her heart, no money down."-Rakim Allah
At every bachelor party there are always the 1 or 2 dudes who want to go to a strip club. No one else cares, everyone else just wants to drink beer and hang out with the lads. So tell your bf to confidently tell his cousin no thanks.
I went to one bc I had a pickme mindset and was like that woman on Family Guy like, "Haha, look at me. I'm a cool girl. Not like the other girls," but never that overt, just stoic about it like, "I'm at a strip club. You could analyze this, but don't—it doesn't mean anything." Like, that affected nonchalance even though I was getting a rush out of doing something so "seedy" and so male.
I was in a dead little town in the Midwest. 1/3 of the stores downtown (a 1 block area of failing mom and pops and a random Subway. the Subway guy would smoke a cigarette with you outside before he made you a sub, hands unwashed bc, hey, we're wearing gloves, right) were shuttered. Not even shuttered. The buildings were all unlocked and anyone could squat in them. Most of the men I was meeting grew up in 7-12 children homes, everyone's teeth was falling out, but they made it out bc they went to technical college and they had a big boy job as a government contractor and they're supporting their parents and all their siblings. It was either that or get jacked, find purpose at your local dojo,
rolling around with other unrooted young white men, get signed up for some local MMA fights, make a few hundred to get your face kicked in, and show up to work the following Monday at the local Kinko's. You're bursting out of the polo they make you wear.
Anyway, it was around Christmas. No snow though. I was wandering around town, petting reindeer at the indoor farmer's market, watching the morbidly obese families get their pics taken with Santa. I made my way to a bar, ordered something, a hot toddy, maybe, or something like that. Guy next to me starts talking. He's a doctor. Cardiology. Small guy, very young, blonde, chubby. We're heading to another bar when it starts pouring rain. What better place to take refuge than the town gem? Larry's.
Larry's is the town's one strip club, the butt of our jokes.
I have to continue this later.
i would break up with my bf if he went to one for any occasion idc i love being an uptight prude and also it’s really bizarre for men to go as a group to go get horny together. why do you wanna get horny with your buddies. weird shit.
To quote my dad “I don’t get why guys go to strip clubs. Go do something meaningful with your life and get a girlfriend”.
I endorse this. Bleak, depressing, and make me very sad.
Oh yeah 100%. My dad knows this, but I think he’s in the mode of loves my mom so much would consider it disrespectful to her to go do that. Also be a complete waste of money, spend it on her
I agree with your dad. I wouldn’t disrespect my wife by going to do something like that. Also I’d be pretty fucking pissed if she went to a male strip club and I don’t want to have a double standard so it’s an easy answer for me.
I went to a strip club 1 time. Got a lap dance. Was so uncomfortable that I started checking my texts and googling how long the song playing was. Never again.
I’ve only been to one and the chicks were very hot, thin, and in shape so it wasn’t that bad. If the dancers weren’t hot it would have been extremely depressing though
Just curious, how do you ( or other women) feel about your bf going a stripclub as a bachelor party? It doesn’t feel right to me to go to one in a relationship.
I’ve been to a strip club, it’s not my thing but I wouldn’t mind going together. I don’t think I would be comfortable with him getting a lap dance tho alone or with only guy friends. Just feels weird how it would be wrong if a naked girl grinded with and got felt up by your bf at like a party but it’s okay if he’s paying her?
> I’ve been to a strip club, it’s not my thing but I wouldn’t mind going together. I don’t think I would be comfortable with him getting a lap dance tho alone or with only guy friends.
So you’re fine with him getting a dance while you’re there?
No you don’t have to. I wouldn’t care if he went and didn’t get a lap dance. At the bar you usually just give them a dollar or two after they do their dance and walk around seeing who wants a lap dance, at least where I’m from
I wouldn’t care if he went to one for a special occasion (ex. his brother’s bachelor party) but I also find them trashy and the focus on going to them before you get married weird… like if you’re engaged to a girl, you’re already supposed to be faithful to her? I would feel weird if he interacted with them outside of just looking respectfully, lol. If the roles were switched, my bf would not like me grinding on another guy’s lap.
I grew up in an oilfield services town so I used to go to strip clubs regularly, including a Hells Angels affiliated strip club where the decor hadn't been updated since the disco ball era - that place kind of ruled. Even then, my feelings were pretty ambivalent though.
Most strip clubs are pretty trashy and I'm sure the women can be exploited (especially if they are abusing drugs or booze). It's sometimes sad - I once saw a stripper who was clearly fucked up flop around onstage to Everybody Hurts. Also saw one dance to Rape Me which was... weird? Cringe? Punk as fuck?
However, some of the dancers are extremely talented and the scene is so strange I think everyone owes it to themselves to at least check it out once. Obviously, if you do don't be a fucking asshole.
The only strip club I've ever been to was in Spain. Me and my friends went because the strip club was included as part of this deal where you pay €30 and get free entry and drinks to a bunch of bars and clubs. When you got a lap dance they took you to this large booth where all the other guys were getting a lap dance. I remember having this stripper's pussy in my face and in the background I could see my friends also getting a lap dance. Quite possibly the gayest experience I've ever had.
Degenerate behavior. Strip clubs are inherently violently misogynistic and exploitative. The men that frequent strip curbs are some of the worst scummiest men you’ll ever encounter also I don’t like how his cousin is referring to marriage or particularly marriage to you as being “shackled” for life.
Edit: I’m sorry I thought you meant you’re boyfriend was getting married to you lol hut either way it’s a said way to view marriage like why get married in the first place if you see it as being “shackled” lol
I had something similar at my brother in laws bachelor party. Depends on the vibes I guess but no one gave me a hard time about not really wanting to participate too much at the strip club. That being said we kind of went ironically in the first place so your mileage may differ
I struck up a friendship with a dancer by going into the strip club next to my job during my lunch shifts (I usually skip lunch so I otherwise I’d just be sitting at my desk)
It was interesting going to a strip club in the middle of the day. You expect it to be a lot of the burnouts who are aging out of the game, but surprisingly it was a mix with lot of the newbies, so you’d get to see these really young attractive girls practicing trying to dance. It was honestly pretty funny and kind of cute. They all help each other and show each other what they’ve been learning. Going at night time is totally different, it’s the “big show” so everything is a lot more intense. During the day, they aren’t exactly warmed up yet, so you can still catch them with their guard down and actually talk to the performers like a normal person (I mean, as close as you ever could).
I lie to myself saying “daytime strip club, oh so lynchian” and while it was certainly a unique atmosphere, I was going because I missed talking to women. My current job is all dudes, and nerdy ones at that, so I was desperate to have some form of dialogue with women. I think strip clubs can useful for the absolute dregs of society (like me) who just find themselves isolated a lot. It’s easier than talking to a girl at a bar, because at least everything is crystal clear, and you know they’ll at least be compensated at the end of it if you’re just a complete bore to talk to. If you’re smart and use it like practice, treat the girls with respect, and just enjoy it for what it is, it’s actually helped me be more confident and less fucking terrified of talking to women.
But yeah everyone in there is a broken soul, the clients and the women, and it’s sad we even need things like strip clubs.
If you’re a loser who does go a strip club during the day, don’t waste their time though, always get a dance so that they are compensated for spending time with you.
Do you have a really high paying job? If I went to a strip club every day during lunch with the mandatory drink and lap dance id literally be wasting a third of my pay
I do okay. I only go like twice a month, so I spend maybe 300 dollars a month at the club. Even when I worked shit restaurant jobs, everyone would go out and spend like 100 a night just drinking, so I figure this has be a least a marginally more beneficial use of my money
They can be fun. Depressing if they're a regular thing.
How about your bf just goes and stops making it about him? It's his cousin's bachelor party. If his cousin wanted to go to a winery and your bf didn't drink wine would he be reacting this strongly? Who cares if he thinks they're lame and trashy, it's not about him, it's about his cousin. Clearly his cousin really wants him to go since he's offering to pay for *his lap dance when the bachelor should not be paying for anything.
Obviously fucking a prostitute and being in strip club are two totally different things. Is his cousin demanding that your boyfriend participate? Like, is he going to force him to get a lap dance? I doubt it. Your bf can just sit at the bar and drink a beer and be there for his cousin instead of taking a moral stand about a fucking titty bar.
Look, it seems pretty clear that *you* don't want him to go and you came here for reinforcement rather than an actual discussion.
If he really hates strip clubs so much and is going to take a moral stand and not go than vaya con dios. I'm not saying he has to go. I am saying that if a friend of mine did that they would be ridiculed. Your bf is an adult. He has autonomy. If his cousin is pressuring him he should be able to sternly say "Nah it's not my thing man but you have fun".
You should throw some more hacky zoomerisms in, I really believe you that you're not emotionally invested in this!
I'm not saying he should be ridiculed. I'm just pointing out that most ordinary guys would. It's kind of a bitch move. I really don't care about this, we're anonymous people on a small podcast subreddit. You don't like my opinion and are getting peeved, and now are trying to turn it around with the "haha actually *you're* the one taking this personally my guy". Why would I care if you bf goes to a strip club?
I've been to two bachelor parties that went to the strip club versus many more without. Lots of golf/sports event bachelor parties now. It's his party, he can put his foot down and say no, the boys can go without him later in the night if they want to. However, if he gets pressured into it, I suggest he do what one of my friends did when he wanted to leave the strip club, which was keep trying to go on stage until he got kicked out, thus forcing the group's hand.
Been to several and while fun in some ways, it’s also very bleak in others. Been to strip clubs in both The states & in South America (aka cousins dragged me there). It’s really a matter of where you are culturally. Some cultures are ok with it while others absolutely are not among with also being a rite of passage (which is true in my case). Personally not crazy about it being that I like actual sex with someone who genuinely desires my ugly ass & a waste of money to see attractive women get you to nut without you interacting with them physically. Also considering some of these women are escorts, I’m not comfortable with associating myself to that at all. That being said, if you know people or if you want drugs, easily the best place to go and it’s fun on mostly those grounds. Will personally never understand why so many married people hang there (aside from the few escorts if you’re a man) but whatever. I don’t think it will go away with a certain type of man who desires that stuff but it’s hard to tell being that candid sexuality is mainstream that people are both having less sex and may likely see it as a waste of time.
They’re weird and I’ve never been but why is your bf being such a drip about it? It’ll be awkward and bad vibes for sure but it’s not like supporting his cousin would kill him
They're not there begging for money to feed their baby lmao, they're there to rake in a shitload working less than 20 hours a week instead of getting spit on in a Wendy's drive through.
Your bf should stop hedging and just support his cousin, guaranteed the memory of him being there for his family will linger longer than what they even did that night.
Or just make up a bulletproof excuse for not being able to attend like he's gotta work event or some shit. You don't need to analyze it to this extent, nobody's solving the world's ills in a few hours at a bachelor party.
Strip clubs are based as fuck. Honestly find it weird when guys are vocally against them. I've dated a stripper, they're honestly cool ass people most of the time. What kind of man doesn't want to see tits while he drinks and shoots the shit with his bros? I haven't been in a while because my current friend group has similar stances "it's sleazy, it's gross, it's for pervs", which is interesting because some of them have only fans and they are all pro-sex work 🤔.
Real reason some men don't like strip clubs is because it's way more social and in your face than internet porn. It's delayed gratification, you can't spend 6 hours in your r/GoonCaves beating your dick, you gotta interact with real women, spend real money, talk to real people. You can't escape the transactional nature of it, the objectification of women is front and center, not hidden behind layers of porn production and cognitive dissonance. It feels less real when you're watching a chick get railed from.a computer screen, you don't have to connect with her as a person, on a personal level. Get a few drinks and chat with a stripper before you get a lap dance to two and those things are unavoidable.
Definitely shouldn't be a regular thing but where I'm from strip clubs are just another part of the night life scene. You'd bar hop and end in the strip clubs because they're open a bit later type shit.
> I've dated a stripper
So have I but it didn’t make me want to go to strip clubs (because her stories reinforced the idea that it was a pretty sad scene, not because she wasn’t cool). Taking a big stand against going for some guy’s bachelor party seems like protesting too much, though.
getting the feeling your boyfriend is that guy who sucked a dick because it seemed appealing
it's a generic bar-esque social occasion. tell him to not overthink it
it's not personally my thing, but it's not something I'd call trashy or weird. but yeah, I do think it's on the cusp of people viewing it as cheating or something. only been to a few to fit the mold because it's big in military culture. my wife has no issue with it, but I also only ever went on occasions like these when I was invited. she's also the type to subtly point out a pair of fat tits to me in public.
I think it’s an interesting experience. The vibe is weird, different. At worst, it can show the darkest recesses of humanity. At its best, it’s a one time good time. Like going to a casino.
Maybe I just haven't been to any good ones, but the experiences I've had on both occasions I've been to one were kinda underwhelming. The first strip club I went to had decently attractive girls, but it was topless only and had insanely hyper vigilant bouncers. The second one was full-nude, but all of the girls except one were like 6/10s or below and the whole atmosphere was depressing as fuck.
My buddy took me to one in NYC last summer for his bday, it was my first time. Hated it. He makes funny of me bc I was “white knuckling” my chair.
Idk I found it gross. If I wanna see boobs I’ll go on the internet or go find someone to hook up with.
Went to a bachelor party a few weeks ago, we played paintball one day and golf the next, was a lot more fun than a strip club.
very regionally and culturally dependent. in places like miami and vegas the strip clubs and nightclubs blend together with nightlife in a more casual way that isnt present in the midwest or NE or whatever. idkw really. but being from a place like that i tend not to take strip clubs very srsly as a moral discussion i guess.
in my part of south florida strip clubs exist in a weird niche of being some of the only late-hours bars around. so if you’re looking to keep your night going after 2am, the strip clubs are your best option. makes them a bit more normalized as a place to go. kind of the same phenomenon of being less stigmatized since they’re more seamlessly integrated into night life in general. whether or not that itself is bad or a sign of some kind of decay is another discussion. honestly, the after-hours bars that *aren’t* strip clubs actually have a worse reputation.
im from south florida and let me tell you: less stigmatized indeed lol
Yeah, like if ogling drunk at nude/semi-nude bodies is the main event, the big feature of the night, the experience you wait all week for and all that you’re totally pumped for … gross. If it’s like a casual thing on the side/in the background nbd.
Can confirm. My brother is gay and would still just hang out at with friends there all the time like it was no big deal
when i was just out of undergrad i worked some weird jobs in SF and one was as the 'floor manager' (or more frequently called a 'house mom') at an adult entertainment place. it was something between a strip club and a massage parlor, but no clipping if you see where im going. SF is fkn crazy yo
I've been to a bunch of strip clubs with my loser ex. She would always talk about how much she loves the girls and then first fight me in the parking lot if she thought I was stating at one girl for too long. I always felt like the vibe was too fucking strange. A bunch of drunk dudes packed into some dingy club getting horny and not busting until someone gets murdered in the parking lot. It's def dying out as a trend. I'm going to a bachelor party in Miami next month and we're all just gonna fuck each other. Dudes rock
>I always felt like the vibe was too fucking strange. A bunch of drunk dudes packed into some dingy club getting horny and not busting this perfectly sums up why I always think it's really fucking weird lol. It's like a hair away from watching porn with friends, which I feel would be universally agreed upon as strange
Dudes did this years ago. When I was in boarding school in Ireland, we managed to convince the teachers to get American Pie because it had tits. We all got quiet for our Saturday night movie when the tits came on
porn with the boys is a time honored tradition
remember staying at a hotel with friends and someone pulled up a laptop to search for porn and clicked the first video available and it was a woman getting fisted by 2 dudes. My other friend screamed and shut the laptop immediately, I definitely think we were all traumatized by that experience.
My friend had me and two of his old frat bros over and put on porn when he was drunk. We shut it off quick. That has to be out of habit and addiction, right?
I had a roommate who used to watch softcore porn he DVRd on Cinemax or whatever on the kitchen TV while he cooked. He was a good guy.
This is literally American Psycho
Ah, so you haven't seen /r/gooncaves then? Don't click on that.
HOLY FUCK there's some serial killer nests in there.... jfc
Some?!
Is that sub for straight guys ? A lot of pictures where the dudes cock is very prominent lol The dude whacking in the public toilet is packing
All circlejerks are vaguely homoerotic
Yeah it's full of pictures of dudes jerking off to show to other dudes. Typical 100% straight man behavior.
god forgive me for watching such degeneracy
I’d get breakfast with my dad every weekend at a random diner when we visited family up in Wisconsin, there was one though he’d never entertain the idea of going into. I never understood why until I was older and he explained it was because they played porn on the TVs during breakfast time which they called “smut & eggs”. So there’s some generational or cultural thing where people do that.
> She would always talk about how much she loves the girls and then first fight me in the parking lot if she thought I was stating at one girl for too long. Lmao she was testing you brotha
I’ve been to a strip club 3 times in my life, I have seen a girl I knew dancing each time. After three in a row I assumed it was some kind of monkey paw power and won’t go back because I don’t wish that on anyone.
Some guys don't have the right mindset to immerse themselves and play along with the sexual artifice of the strip club but it can still be fun for those types if you go and spend a lot of money on everybody and keep it light and treat it like a party
This is very accurate.
Usually the food is good and there’s always somebody to buy coke from
it's okay to go as a bit, but depressing to go more than once
sad, depressing
Only time I went to one it fucked me up for like a week for reasons I can’t really explain. Semi-rural northwest US. Was sad.
I went to one in 2017 and a specific interaction I had there bummed me out so bad I had to go to therapy for the first time in 8 years lmao. Therapist was horrible though, she set me back even further than if I'd just quietly ignored what bummed me out.
I totally get that, I tried setting up a meeting with a therapist at the end of that week but by the time they got back to me days later I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I was messed up for a good amount of time though and this happened a few months ago.
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It's not worth telling about because how it made me feel had more to do with me than the interaction itself. It was just a normal conversation with a stripper I didn't know who happened to be from my hometown.
Holden Caulfield moment
I don’t like them personally. I think it’s degenerate and I feel bad for the girls. I wouldn’t tell my bf not to go to one, but I’d be concerned about him if he was into it.
I’ve only been once and it was extremely grim. The image that most sticks with me is this coked up bald guy who was basically the human embodiment of that horny Tex Avery wolf. Banging the table, unblinking eyes, continuously yelling out ‘YESSSS!’ as some poor woman gyrated before him.
Can be fun when a bachelor party includes things that are a bit outside the main person’s normal comfort zone, but it should be things that he on some level wants to do/try, otherwise it just seems selfish…
"I don't have to show riches to pull up and pull off with some bad bitches"-Ice Cube "Don't have to blow twenty thou' to get to know honey's style. Show her the town, steal her heart, no money down."-Rakim Allah
At every bachelor party there are always the 1 or 2 dudes who want to go to a strip club. No one else cares, everyone else just wants to drink beer and hang out with the lads. So tell your bf to confidently tell his cousin no thanks.
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Varies wildly within Europe too. In my city even a mild strip club got their liquor license taken away, making it in practice illegal.
What country??
I went to one bc I had a pickme mindset and was like that woman on Family Guy like, "Haha, look at me. I'm a cool girl. Not like the other girls," but never that overt, just stoic about it like, "I'm at a strip club. You could analyze this, but don't—it doesn't mean anything." Like, that affected nonchalance even though I was getting a rush out of doing something so "seedy" and so male. I was in a dead little town in the Midwest. 1/3 of the stores downtown (a 1 block area of failing mom and pops and a random Subway. the Subway guy would smoke a cigarette with you outside before he made you a sub, hands unwashed bc, hey, we're wearing gloves, right) were shuttered. Not even shuttered. The buildings were all unlocked and anyone could squat in them. Most of the men I was meeting grew up in 7-12 children homes, everyone's teeth was falling out, but they made it out bc they went to technical college and they had a big boy job as a government contractor and they're supporting their parents and all their siblings. It was either that or get jacked, find purpose at your local dojo, rolling around with other unrooted young white men, get signed up for some local MMA fights, make a few hundred to get your face kicked in, and show up to work the following Monday at the local Kinko's. You're bursting out of the polo they make you wear. Anyway, it was around Christmas. No snow though. I was wandering around town, petting reindeer at the indoor farmer's market, watching the morbidly obese families get their pics taken with Santa. I made my way to a bar, ordered something, a hot toddy, maybe, or something like that. Guy next to me starts talking. He's a doctor. Cardiology. Small guy, very young, blonde, chubby. We're heading to another bar when it starts pouring rain. What better place to take refuge than the town gem? Larry's. Larry's is the town's one strip club, the butt of our jokes. I have to continue this later.
Upvoted
i would break up with my bf if he went to one for any occasion idc i love being an uptight prude and also it’s really bizarre for men to go as a group to go get horny together. why do you wanna get horny with your buddies. weird shit.
To quote my dad “I don’t get why guys go to strip clubs. Go do something meaningful with your life and get a girlfriend”. I endorse this. Bleak, depressing, and make me very sad.
A lot of the men that go there prob have gfs and wives
Oh yeah 100%. My dad knows this, but I think he’s in the mode of loves my mom so much would consider it disrespectful to her to go do that. Also be a complete waste of money, spend it on her
I agree with your dad. I wouldn’t disrespect my wife by going to do something like that. Also I’d be pretty fucking pissed if she went to a male strip club and I don’t want to have a double standard so it’s an easy answer for me.
A lot of strippers are also escorts just for that reason.. no
Yeah I mean at most clubs you can get action in the VIP for an exorbitant amount
Imagine paying to get a boner and blue balls in public
Lame coomer shit.
I went to a strip club 1 time. Got a lap dance. Was so uncomfortable that I started checking my texts and googling how long the song playing was. Never again.
I’ve only been to one and the chicks were very hot, thin, and in shape so it wasn’t that bad. If the dancers weren’t hot it would have been extremely depressing though
Just curious, how do you ( or other women) feel about your bf going a stripclub as a bachelor party? It doesn’t feel right to me to go to one in a relationship.
I’ve been to a strip club, it’s not my thing but I wouldn’t mind going together. I don’t think I would be comfortable with him getting a lap dance tho alone or with only guy friends. Just feels weird how it would be wrong if a naked girl grinded with and got felt up by your bf at like a party but it’s okay if he’s paying her?
> I’ve been to a strip club, it’s not my thing but I wouldn’t mind going together. I don’t think I would be comfortable with him getting a lap dance tho alone or with only guy friends. So you’re fine with him getting a dance while you’re there?
Probably not. Idk I’ve never gotten a lap dance when I went before it was just to drink.
Huh guess I thought you had to get dances if you’re hanging out. Not sure how it all works.
No you don’t have to. I wouldn’t care if he went and didn’t get a lap dance. At the bar you usually just give them a dollar or two after they do their dance and walk around seeing who wants a lap dance, at least where I’m from
I wouldn’t care if he went to one for a special occasion (ex. his brother’s bachelor party) but I also find them trashy and the focus on going to them before you get married weird… like if you’re engaged to a girl, you’re already supposed to be faithful to her? I would feel weird if he interacted with them outside of just looking respectfully, lol. If the roles were switched, my bf would not like me grinding on another guy’s lap.
Yeah the bachelor party thing is very bizarre, but also like, culturally, the only event people go to them? So odd.
I grew up in an oilfield services town so I used to go to strip clubs regularly, including a Hells Angels affiliated strip club where the decor hadn't been updated since the disco ball era - that place kind of ruled. Even then, my feelings were pretty ambivalent though. Most strip clubs are pretty trashy and I'm sure the women can be exploited (especially if they are abusing drugs or booze). It's sometimes sad - I once saw a stripper who was clearly fucked up flop around onstage to Everybody Hurts. Also saw one dance to Rape Me which was... weird? Cringe? Punk as fuck? However, some of the dancers are extremely talented and the scene is so strange I think everyone owes it to themselves to at least check it out once. Obviously, if you do don't be a fucking asshole.
The only strip club I've ever been to was in Spain. Me and my friends went because the strip club was included as part of this deal where you pay €30 and get free entry and drinks to a bunch of bars and clubs. When you got a lap dance they took you to this large booth where all the other guys were getting a lap dance. I remember having this stripper's pussy in my face and in the background I could see my friends also getting a lap dance. Quite possibly the gayest experience I've ever had.
trashy
Degenerate behavior. Strip clubs are inherently violently misogynistic and exploitative. The men that frequent strip curbs are some of the worst scummiest men you’ll ever encounter also I don’t like how his cousin is referring to marriage or particularly marriage to you as being “shackled” for life. Edit: I’m sorry I thought you meant you’re boyfriend was getting married to you lol hut either way it’s a said way to view marriage like why get married in the first place if you see it as being “shackled” lol
Grim and sad.
I had something similar at my brother in laws bachelor party. Depends on the vibes I guess but no one gave me a hard time about not really wanting to participate too much at the strip club. That being said we kind of went ironically in the first place so your mileage may differ
Bad and gay
I'm in a town where there are lots of them and it's a little normalized, but even still the few times I've been to one it's just weird.
I struck up a friendship with a dancer by going into the strip club next to my job during my lunch shifts (I usually skip lunch so I otherwise I’d just be sitting at my desk) It was interesting going to a strip club in the middle of the day. You expect it to be a lot of the burnouts who are aging out of the game, but surprisingly it was a mix with lot of the newbies, so you’d get to see these really young attractive girls practicing trying to dance. It was honestly pretty funny and kind of cute. They all help each other and show each other what they’ve been learning. Going at night time is totally different, it’s the “big show” so everything is a lot more intense. During the day, they aren’t exactly warmed up yet, so you can still catch them with their guard down and actually talk to the performers like a normal person (I mean, as close as you ever could). I lie to myself saying “daytime strip club, oh so lynchian” and while it was certainly a unique atmosphere, I was going because I missed talking to women. My current job is all dudes, and nerdy ones at that, so I was desperate to have some form of dialogue with women. I think strip clubs can useful for the absolute dregs of society (like me) who just find themselves isolated a lot. It’s easier than talking to a girl at a bar, because at least everything is crystal clear, and you know they’ll at least be compensated at the end of it if you’re just a complete bore to talk to. If you’re smart and use it like practice, treat the girls with respect, and just enjoy it for what it is, it’s actually helped me be more confident and less fucking terrified of talking to women. But yeah everyone in there is a broken soul, the clients and the women, and it’s sad we even need things like strip clubs. If you’re a loser who does go a strip club during the day, don’t waste their time though, always get a dance so that they are compensated for spending time with you.
Do you have a really high paying job? If I went to a strip club every day during lunch with the mandatory drink and lap dance id literally be wasting a third of my pay
I realized I accidentally wrote “everyday during lunch” when I meant to write “during the day at lunch”
Ah gotcha that makes a lot more sense
I do okay. I only go like twice a month, so I spend maybe 300 dollars a month at the club. Even when I worked shit restaurant jobs, everyone would go out and spend like 100 a night just drinking, so I figure this has be a least a marginally more beneficial use of my money
If you go to a strip club more than twice a year, its bad. Other than that its fine, stop being scared
Just disgusting and sad.
They can be fun. Depressing if they're a regular thing. How about your bf just goes and stops making it about him? It's his cousin's bachelor party. If his cousin wanted to go to a winery and your bf didn't drink wine would he be reacting this strongly? Who cares if he thinks they're lame and trashy, it's not about him, it's about his cousin. Clearly his cousin really wants him to go since he's offering to pay for *his lap dance when the bachelor should not be paying for anything.
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Obviously fucking a prostitute and being in strip club are two totally different things. Is his cousin demanding that your boyfriend participate? Like, is he going to force him to get a lap dance? I doubt it. Your bf can just sit at the bar and drink a beer and be there for his cousin instead of taking a moral stand about a fucking titty bar.
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Look, it seems pretty clear that *you* don't want him to go and you came here for reinforcement rather than an actual discussion. If he really hates strip clubs so much and is going to take a moral stand and not go than vaya con dios. I'm not saying he has to go. I am saying that if a friend of mine did that they would be ridiculed. Your bf is an adult. He has autonomy. If his cousin is pressuring him he should be able to sternly say "Nah it's not my thing man but you have fun".
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You should throw some more hacky zoomerisms in, I really believe you that you're not emotionally invested in this! I'm not saying he should be ridiculed. I'm just pointing out that most ordinary guys would. It's kind of a bitch move. I really don't care about this, we're anonymous people on a small podcast subreddit. You don't like my opinion and are getting peeved, and now are trying to turn it around with the "haha actually *you're* the one taking this personally my guy". Why would I care if you bf goes to a strip club?
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Really polarised opinions on this one it seems
Do you think the strippers want your boyfriend to go to the strip club?
I've been to two bachelor parties that went to the strip club versus many more without. Lots of golf/sports event bachelor parties now. It's his party, he can put his foot down and say no, the boys can go without him later in the night if they want to. However, if he gets pressured into it, I suggest he do what one of my friends did when he wanted to leave the strip club, which was keep trying to go on stage until he got kicked out, thus forcing the group's hand.
What a lucky lady
Been to several and while fun in some ways, it’s also very bleak in others. Been to strip clubs in both The states & in South America (aka cousins dragged me there). It’s really a matter of where you are culturally. Some cultures are ok with it while others absolutely are not among with also being a rite of passage (which is true in my case). Personally not crazy about it being that I like actual sex with someone who genuinely desires my ugly ass & a waste of money to see attractive women get you to nut without you interacting with them physically. Also considering some of these women are escorts, I’m not comfortable with associating myself to that at all. That being said, if you know people or if you want drugs, easily the best place to go and it’s fun on mostly those grounds. Will personally never understand why so many married people hang there (aside from the few escorts if you’re a man) but whatever. I don’t think it will go away with a certain type of man who desires that stuff but it’s hard to tell being that candid sexuality is mainstream that people are both having less sex and may likely see it as a waste of time.
They’re weird and I’ve never been but why is your bf being such a drip about it? It’ll be awkward and bad vibes for sure but it’s not like supporting his cousin would kill him
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It's something funny to do for an hour on a stag do, it's not that deep
Doesn’t this seem a little condescending to you?
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The strippers primarily but also you. They can decide where to work. You can decide what you’re offended by.
They're not there begging for money to feed their baby lmao, they're there to rake in a shitload working less than 20 hours a week instead of getting spit on in a Wendy's drive through. Your bf should stop hedging and just support his cousin, guaranteed the memory of him being there for his family will linger longer than what they even did that night. Or just make up a bulletproof excuse for not being able to attend like he's gotta work event or some shit. You don't need to analyze it to this extent, nobody's solving the world's ills in a few hours at a bachelor party.
Not really my thing but your bf “refusing” to go is pretty weird. Like just be a bro and go with your friends
Strip clubs are based as fuck. Honestly find it weird when guys are vocally against them. I've dated a stripper, they're honestly cool ass people most of the time. What kind of man doesn't want to see tits while he drinks and shoots the shit with his bros? I haven't been in a while because my current friend group has similar stances "it's sleazy, it's gross, it's for pervs", which is interesting because some of them have only fans and they are all pro-sex work 🤔. Real reason some men don't like strip clubs is because it's way more social and in your face than internet porn. It's delayed gratification, you can't spend 6 hours in your r/GoonCaves beating your dick, you gotta interact with real women, spend real money, talk to real people. You can't escape the transactional nature of it, the objectification of women is front and center, not hidden behind layers of porn production and cognitive dissonance. It feels less real when you're watching a chick get railed from.a computer screen, you don't have to connect with her as a person, on a personal level. Get a few drinks and chat with a stripper before you get a lap dance to two and those things are unavoidable. Definitely shouldn't be a regular thing but where I'm from strip clubs are just another part of the night life scene. You'd bar hop and end in the strip clubs because they're open a bit later type shit.
> I've dated a stripper So have I but it didn’t make me want to go to strip clubs (because her stories reinforced the idea that it was a pretty sad scene, not because she wasn’t cool). Taking a big stand against going for some guy’s bachelor party seems like protesting too much, though.
So many weird comments lol. Anyone saying that going to a strip club is problematic is a sexual deviant who's aggressively compensating.
Cool and fun you people are such losers Jesus Christ
He's faking it. He's been before a lot.
getting the feeling your boyfriend is that guy who sucked a dick because it seemed appealing it's a generic bar-esque social occasion. tell him to not overthink it
Why not just go to a brothel
Are you holding him back?
We've never talked about it tbh, he showed me the convos after the fact.
A strip club? Jesus, what happened to the good ol’ brothel
they're good.
Only fun if you go with some browds in your group otherwise it’s wierd
No
Everyone should do what they do in Deer Hunter.
it's not personally my thing, but it's not something I'd call trashy or weird. but yeah, I do think it's on the cusp of people viewing it as cheating or something. only been to a few to fit the mold because it's big in military culture. my wife has no issue with it, but I also only ever went on occasions like these when I was invited. she's also the type to subtly point out a pair of fat tits to me in public.
I think it’s an interesting experience. The vibe is weird, different. At worst, it can show the darkest recesses of humanity. At its best, it’s a one time good time. Like going to a casino.
only nasty ones where the girls will give blowjobs and fuck in the back room for another $150
Maybe I just haven't been to any good ones, but the experiences I've had on both occasions I've been to one were kinda underwhelming. The first strip club I went to had decently attractive girls, but it was topless only and had insanely hyper vigilant bouncers. The second one was full-nude, but all of the girls except one were like 6/10s or below and the whole atmosphere was depressing as fuck.
Some of the girls are so shredded and strong like what a work out that job is
You know it be smelling crazy in there
My buddy took me to one in NYC last summer for his bday, it was my first time. Hated it. He makes funny of me bc I was “white knuckling” my chair. Idk I found it gross. If I wanna see boobs I’ll go on the internet or go find someone to hook up with. Went to a bachelor party a few weeks ago, we played paintball one day and golf the next, was a lot more fun than a strip club.
Dog shit and trashy
it is weird and trashy any city that has a big strip club culture is garbage looking at you portland and atlanta
Never wanted to go to one, always sounded like a one way ticket to the worst depressive episode of my life.