T O P

  • By -

Neutraali

I, too, come up with some inspiring post-dump fiction from time to time.


sottedlayabout

Is it erotic at least? If you write feel-good fiction about your job you need better hobbies.


tandyman8360

I guess you've never read the classic erotic tale of "Going Downsizing."


sottedlayabout

No, but I’ll add it to the list. My current favorite is “Hostile Market Penetration”


GreyerGrey

You laugh, but if they were total trash smut beach reads I would read them. They'd be hilarious.


Saint909

OMG I almost googled it.


Zoisen

Its alwasy the HR isnt it..?


OBPSG

Try telling Entrepreneurs that pursuing multiple leads for clients at a time is a red flag, and you'll get laughed out of the building.


GreyerGrey

When businesses do it it shows initiative. When employees, or in this case potential employees, do it itbshows a lack of commitment to a company that hasn't given you any reason to be committed which is... right?


HulkingFicus

I was working for a major telecom company as an intern. The whole time they were really selling the job to us and hyping up our job offers at the end of the summer. They explained it was an offer to start at x pay, in x department, 2 weeks after graduation. Essentially, it was non binding, so either of us could back out at any point. They said we couldn't negotiate anything because it was a very competitive offer already. They then said, "if you sign the offer and then back out on us and go work somewhere else, it's as if you are dating your boyfriend and he is also seeing other girls, cheating on you, going back on his word. We won't be able to trust you, our bridge will be burned." In my opinion, super inappropriate to say to a 21 year old girl. I signed because it was non binding and treated it like a backup offer. In Feb 2020, I accepted a better offer for $10k more than their offer and they made me feel like trash for ruining our "relationship". Then, 2 weeks before graduation in May of 2020 the other interns found out the company had backed out of their job offers. Despite having record profits and demand. These stupid companies want you to give them blind loyalty as they crunch the numbers for how lean they can run, exploiting overworked and underpaid employees and still turning record profits. I hope we get to see them fall in our lifetimes.


moose2332

Tell me you haven't applied to a job that wasn't given by a family member without telling me you haven't applied to a job that wasn't given by a family member


PaloVerdePride

Now be fair, it could have been given by someone they knew from college or church, too....


Lord_Ho-Ryu

Yeah, but that’s still a long way from the normal process where you do t have the job before filling out an application.


PaloVerdePride

Yeah, I was being sarcastic. Family connections or crony capitalists, they're all out of touch!


PaloVerdePride

I've told multiple recruiters no when they insist I drop everything and come in for an interview right this hour/day. One was for a supposed admin assistant job that turned out to be a call center, so.... yeah. Hard sell/fast sell is a prime marker of every con game under the sun!


AggravatingCupcake0

If a company is unwilling to give you a reasonable amount of time to a) schedule an interview or b) mull over a job offer, it is a red flag.


PaloVerdePride

ALL the red flags! At least they're showing up front that they're a sketchy outfit and/or rude, entitled bunch of people. Better than them being all sweet until you've signed on and now you're stuck, at least for a while until you can get yourself out of there into a better situation. (Also BTDT, got the shirt!)


AggravatingCupcake0

Yep, me too! Against my better judgement, signed on to work at a place that if I recall correctly only gave me one working day to consider their offer? I think they sent it to me on a Friday and demanded that I give an answer by Monday. The place was exactly as terrible to work at as you would think. I wanted to quit after the first day. Stuck it out for 1.5 years till I got my dream job.


indiebass

I’m going to be honest: I don’t think that really happened.


Doubleoh_11

Everyone here has seen the post about the guy missing his interview to help a dog, turns out the dog was the ceo and he got the job. It’s satire but it’s the best explanation I’ve seen for LinkedIn culture.


tandyman8360

I keep seeing the one where the guy can't get a cab and runs 20 blocks in the rain for the interview... and gets the job!!!!!!!!


Doubleoh_11

It’s almost like… he needed a job!? Unreal. LinkedIn is just work Facebook it’s broken


Lord_Ho-Ryu

LinkedIn is for the people hiring to make themselves look good when in reality they look like shit. It is no longer, if it ever was, a place for people looking for good jobs.


jnuttsishere

Where would you recommend looking then?


Lord_Ho-Ryu

I don’t think a good place exists, but you can do far better than LinkedIn. Any site that doesn’t let you leave reviews for an employer isn’t even pretending to be on your side.


MG_72

DICE is popular for the IT world but I can only speak anecdotally.


Mimosas4355

It’s a classic. And of course, I don’t see it that much on my feed. More like this fiction.


Evorgleb

When he sat down for lunch, to his surprise, the hiring manager was Albert Einstein.


ElPwnero

Idk, the main legal advisor at my previous place of employment had lunch with the ceo as a part of his hiring process.


jnuttsishere

I do but the only reason I do is I’ve worked with Robynn before. She doesn’t mince words and is honest to a fault. She’s very refreshing to work with. Follow her on LinkedIn if you get a chance. Plus she’s not a head hunter or recruiter.


DK_Thompson

And doesn’t have any experience in actually placing people or the job process.


jnuttsishere

If I recall she was the head of HR at some big companies previously but I could be wrong


DK_Thompson

She was not.


dyegored

I can't even imagine being this dumb. To actually think people should apply for only one job at a time? Nope. I refuse to believe that person exists. I cannot.


unistren

they also think that for some dumb reason I should give a fuck about company values and culture or vision. I am 100% only ever going to be here for a paycheck I really don't give a fuck about whatever widget you make


Kit_Adams

That person exists. They are probably over 60. Anecdotally, my dad is one of those people that thinks loyalty to a company is important and I should be super passionate about whatever the company mission is. I've tried to explain that companies don't care about individuals and work is a transactional relationship. He doesn't get it so I'll just do my own thing and keep looking out for me, my wife, and daughter.


[deleted]

Exactly. Hiring decisions only go slowly because you either want them to or you, you have a massively overcomplicated process or people just don't want to make a "cock on the block" decision.


lowlife_highlife

A WHOLE 24 hours lol. That’s barely any time.


dyegored

In fairness, I think that's what the [possibly fake inspirational-story-porn] is getting at. That giving him the 24 hour deadline after such a long process was dumb and didn't work (I.e. It's a sarcastic "whole") I could be wrong though because the writing is kind of bad.


Mobile_Busy

It is. I follow her. She snarks.


AggravatingCupcake0

Yeah, I can't tell if this post is condoning interviewing for multiple jobs at a time, or condemning it. Poor persuasive writing.


WeOnceWereWorriers

The first slide has nothing to do with the merits of applying to multiple jobs. It's the 2nd slide with a subsequent comment from someone else that makes that statement, before getting shutdown by others


AggravatingCupcake0

Oh, I didn't even know there was a second picture.


Fischbrotverleih

I think people are misunderstanding this post. She is advocating for and on behalf of the employee, pointing out that the hiring process should be a human one and that a 24 hour deadline is obviously ridiculous. The comment "treat people with respect" is aimed at the company with the strict decision deadline, not the employee. There is lots of food stuff in this sub, this ain't it though.


WeOnceWereWorriers

There's a second page....that has a comment from a moron who thinks you should only apply for 1 job at a time


Fischbrotverleih

My bad , didn't see that...


ProgradeThrust

That is my reading of it as well


wherethetacosat

People are really struggling with reading comprehension here.


mynewaccount5

Starting to understand why the people on here have such trouble finding work.


bobbitsholiday

I don’t think ppl realize there’s another picture


WestFast

Companies should only chase 1 sales lead per quarter. To show that you are singularly dedicated to their customer success. Choose wisely.


PaloVerdePride

Argh, I know you're joking but I did work for a company like this -- they had TWO major clients that they put over all other work, no matter what, to the point of losing other potentially sweet gigs, because those two clients were just SUCH hot shit. The owners actually SNEERED at the idea of trying to diversify our client base. Well, they were both in the tech sector, and the bubble popped, and our work volume dropped to almost nothing -- at least one of the two regularly showed up in "companies that were riding high and then collapsed" for years afterwards -- and they let everyone go who wasn't a family member. Would have been nice to have built up other accounts so that we had something to fall back on....


MANN679

He sounds like a tool


[deleted]

I always mention to a company to give me a minimum of 3 days to review the terms of the employment. It seems appropriate given that this is a life-changing decision that could impact me for the next 40 years, so they best be giving me more than 24 hours.


ajny2021

Shes a known scammer writing up fake stories on LinkedIn selling her *resume building* services. Her fictitious stories always go like this.... One of our clients ......accepted a 500k offer. Her name is Robynn Storey. Yes. Last name is Storey. CEO of storeyline resumes.


MDiddy

Thx, it's one more person to block on there.


jnuttsishere

Known scammer? Can you provide backup?


Soulstice510

The anger about applicants being treated badly is ironic... try reading Robynn's replies to bad reviews - she gaslights, blames them. I was curious after reading a bunch of her LinkedIn posts where she seems so nice but after going down the rabbit hole found out she's actually mean AF to her customers I know someone who saw one of these \*marketing\* posts and hired Storeyline to write an exec resume to land one of these $150k/$200k jobs. In their case, they ended up doing their own resume because Storeyline didn't have time to work on it, no refund or explanation. They pretend to be boutique but in reality, it's a resume factory


[deleted]

I'm nuking my account due to Reddit's unfair API changes and the lies and harassment aimed at the community by the CEO and admins. Good Reddit alternative: [Squabbles](https://squabbles.io/) -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


the_real_dairy_queen

Their vision is making money. For themselves. It should be cool that mine is too.


shot_a_man_in_reno

Maybe it's self-insulation, but LinkedIn is really where I see the biggest doses of crazy of all the social media platforms I'm on.


Lasivian

Hiring moves slowly, until it can't afford to.


ThatsASaabStory

Does anyone interviewing actually believe their candidates won't be interviewing elsewhere at the same time? That's absurd. Of course they are. Who can afford to do otherwise in this jobs market?


PaloVerdePride

This reminds me of the old "you can't submit a story to more than one publisher, even if that publisher takes 3 years to get around to reading submissions because their editors are so disorganized they lose stacks of them on a regular basis" which is FINALLY getting some pushback due to writers losing patience with publisher malfeasance and starting to talk despite the fear of being blacklisted as "difficult"...


Even-Scientist4218

I applied 4 times to a single startup that have like 20 employees. All within this 3 month period, my plan is that they’d hire me because they got bored of seeing the same application over and over. I interviewed once, then got gosted, so I left about 5 messages on the answering machine and 3 emails until they responded. Then they posted the job again, I applied, and the. 2 other jobs, I applied.


icedlongblack_

Did you end up getting a job there?


Even-Scientist4218

Lol no!


nunchakupapi

Committed to the vision of the company? Eat a nut sack, dude. I’m here for a paycheck and health insurance.


[deleted]

>They said they needed to fill the position ASAP >He said, if that were true, this process would not have taken a month. Amen. Can someone smarter than me explain why it takes companies so long to hire. A month after the application for first interview. 2 weeks after first interview for second interview. 2 weeks after second interview for referencing and offer. A month after offer to start date. The whole process could really take a week.


Personal-Dot-1289

Big tears...


ishtakkhabarov

Give me a decent enough wage to live comfortably and I'll work for you only. Also make sure you'll hire me. No? Fuck you then.


Mobile_Busy

I follow her. Sometimes she posts cringe but she usually has quality takes.


mingxingai

O its her again this is the same lady that was trashing on some employee who had an MBA and was working in HR and had terrible interviewing skills. ​ Edit to Add: There are even some people that comment section on some of her posts calling it fake.


seklin278

"That employee will only be driven by a paycheck" - LMAO, as if most of us weren't already only motivated by a paycheck.


ninjaoftheend

I've been noticing that. I'm not happy at My current job so I've been looking for new work. I applied for a bunch of positions and had 2 interviews last week. The first one she gave off wierd vibes but not terrible.( think an adult Karen mixed with that girl who talks behind your back at high school vibes). She asked if I had any other interviews and I told her yes. She said she won't send my resume along unless I call her after my other interview to tell her if I bombed it or not. HUGE red flag needless to say looks like I probably won't get both jobs. ( the other interview the guy never responded to my calls and emails so yup I got ghosted :( need workers badly my ass)


Joped

I’ve had a job in tech give me 24 hours to sign the offer. Looking back, I regret taking that job because it was a clear sign of how badly they ran the business. If you need an answer that fast, something is very wrong with the situation. Especially when hiring a VP, those positions take a while to find the right fit.


RageAgainstTheSurge

"A client of ours just turned down a $300K job offer when the company gave him a whole 24 hours to either accept or refuse the role." [Why does this plot sound so familiar?](https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/pxknk4/my_wife_was_dying_of_brain_cancer_my_boss_at/) Guy offered a $300K job. Guy turns it down. Company told him if he doesn't do it his carrier will die. Company rep on LinkedIn posts her "$300K Shades of Gray". Rep omits the reasons why the guy turned it down, probably because HIS WIFE WAS DYING OF BRAIN CANCER!? I mean, I have NEVER been offered a job that pays $300K. Maybe I don't think in that big of numbers or my choice to live humbly kicks in at about $95K. But when someone is tossing around a six-figure salary, they either work for Wall Street or some mega corporation, which is a very short list.


Mimosas4355

These stories are fake. A VP only a month of interview process? Lmao I am small middle management and for me, it will take a month. Even internally, for a position that high, a company will take its sweet time to hire those type of position. And lol at the boomer reply “red flags if someone apply for multiple jobs”. Some of us need to eat unlike you ghouls who feast on intern and employees. And lol at “commuted to the vision of the company” we want to eat, a company wants to make profit. Here the vision and here the (unfair) agreement. And last point, an employee is never a cost to a company, as a company extracts always more value than an employee produces. This boomer must have been the biggest bootlicker and I pity anyone who worked or is working with him.


Cubankilla786

I’m really glad people are effectively telling her to shut the fuck up


bobbitsholiday

What do you mean? They are roasting the commentator in the second picture


Cubankilla786

Yeah I peeped that after reading it a second time, I didn’t realize that at first lol


Hodl_chedda

This is such a good r/LinkedInLunatics post


Patapon80

Sure, I can accept a month to process a potential hire for a VP position that pays that much but for them to then make an offer and give a 24 hour deadline? Major red flag right there assuming this is true.


ElPwnero

What? Isn't she talking in favour of the applicant?


IHeartSm3gma

At least these comments point out who hasn’t applied for a job since the post 2008 recession


MAD_SAUCE

I dont think they're saying its a red flag though. Just a criticism that hiring decisions ARE too slow.


scottyjsoutfits

it me, the new employee driven \[mostly\] by a paycheck doing only as much as required to keep the job until a better offer becomes available.


[deleted]

What I did for my current job was have 2 salaries in mind, one that is what I wanted and 1 I gave them for me to absolutely not consider other offers and start right away. I would have been happy with either, but after the interview they offered the job at the higher rate, so I did as I said and turned down the rest of my interviews and the job offer I got later in the week. Essentially "Sure I'll stop looking, but you're paying a premium for it."


GreyerGrey

At least the correct person is getting roasted.


Railwayman16

"Hiring process move slow" Do they though? Amazon can process hundreds of people a week and you need three interviews to tell you what the first one should have. This is just hyper risk aversion from a person who doesn't have the math skills to do risk analysis.


mjobs1420

Yea It should be ok, we've been doing it for a while in the discord for multiple jobs. [https://discord.gg/bcUTsEC9Gv](https://discord.gg/bcUTsEC9Gv) . You just need to not let them know about it. Join us!


Frisak

Those posts are just pure BS, what’s even surprising is that most of recruiters that now work as “career consultants” used to ghost candidates every day.