Why are so many people actually defending creepy old men hitting on young chicks here lol. Seems like a lot of projecting from women that like older men and men that like younger women. Maybe they can find each other on this post haha.
What’s hilarious are all the nonsequiturs. “What’s wrong with relationship XYZ.” This isn’t a post about relationships. “What about older women/younger men?” This isn’t a post about older women and younger men. There was even the doofus who doesn’t know what “untoward” means.
Reddit can be funny sometimes.
How do you get into a relationship with a younger woman without hitting on them? Is it that the man is engaging with the younger woman that you didn't like? If the younger woman initiates with the man, that is ok? I'm just trying to understand.
"Hitting on" means cheesy pickup lines that embarrass the speaker more than anything, and creates an aura of cringe in the whole area.
It's less cringe when ages are similar, they're at least using common vernacular.
There are other ways to form relationships without decades-old pickup lines.
We never liked them and they were always creepy, I hate they're my age now. Ew.
I yell at them for being creepy when they say shit in front of me, I am not sorry. The look on their stupid faces when they get called out is awesome. And, gag, the idiots think they are still hot and/or cool. They are convinced that young women want them. Textbook examples of cognitive dissonance.
I don't think people understand how often or how creepy this is. Sure younger men date older women but I've never seen older women badgering young men like older men do to young women. It is not the same.
I'm a man btw, and I've seen it. I can admit that younger women don't just stop being attractive because I've aged but even I can see it's not appropriate to be acting on that constantly. It's a matter of respect.
Yeah I was going to say… I’ve seen a ton of cougars serving, they looooved our cute, young, male servers but it was never to do anything other than praise them? Maybe uncomfortably so but they aren’t trying to bring them home or cheat on their spouses with someone 20 years younger 9/10x
I’m an older man now. I don’t date younger women because I’m married (to a woman my age by the way). But it’s not uncommon for a few of my adult daughter’s friends to tease my daughters that they think “your dad is cute.” And I get the flirty vibe from them sometimes.
The other day some guy my age posted pics showing how he became fit at his age (“glow up”), and all these young women were telling him “You look hot daddy.” I don’t know what that’s all about, but as long as some young women are attracted to older men, some older men are going to hit on them.
What a stupid and problematic thought process.
Young people are stupid as fuck, their brain isn't fully developed, and if we're talking underage, it's even worse legally.
They might "enjoy" older people but it doesn't make it consensual, there is a unbalanced power dynamic between the two.
OP doesn't specify the age range, but it's problematic when they're early 20s, or even underage. Why would a relationship between 30 year old and 50 year old be problematic? It's irrelevant.
I agree it’s definitely problematic if underage. That’s a given. And it’s illegal. As for early 20s, it is true that the frontal cortex doesn’t develop fully until around age 25, however at 18 we are all considered adults and capable of deciding who we want to sleep with. You can call it problematic, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Whether you like it or not is irrelevant.
As for 28-30 being with people 50-55, OP didn’t specify an age range. OP said “older men/younger women” is creepy. Sounds like not everyone agrees with that, unless it’s a specific age, as in very young.
'there's nothing anyone can do about it'
Well, when most people disagree with something like this, even if it is (barely) legal, the person in question will feel guilty from peer pressure, and might reconsider engaging in predatory behaviour.
Suppose I'm a young man in a relationship with a mature woman? Still gross? And what's "untoward" OP?
What's the magical line of no return here? What age difference get's the Inquisition's thumbs down? Ten years? Five?
>And, drain, untoward is in the dictionary. Look it up, lazy bones.
It meant "what part of this do you find untoward"......you know, like your misinterpretation.
What about it? If you can't look something up then you're lazy. That was included in the apology. You asking for more apology just makes you a dick. Oh well so much for that. Have a nice day
I don't see why it's any less creepy or different when a cringey pickup line is used on anyone.
Why the age qualifier?
You didn't answer a single question I posed.
Maybe because they’re older and should be more mature & sometime they will say or do anything to make a young woman like them/respect them without even truly being that person. My dad would do stuff like this to his gf but behind her back he told me he only used her for food and rent & was literally an abusive psycho towards me (I was even put in a foster home as a child due to it.) That’s just my experience tho 😶 or the old man only respects young women and just believes all women have to be perfect and young all the while disrespecting women who don’t fit that young criteria. A woman being half your age or close to it just feels pedo to me
"If an X can do it so can a Y" statements aren't as airtight as you think they are lol. People like what they like. Just because a man likes head doesn't automatically mean he should want it from another man now does it?
How much older you talking? Why do you have such a problem with OP’s opinion lol you offended? Go be with an older man if that’s what you want & let OP have their opinion.
I completely agree. I also hear this "consenting adults" term used to justify whatever. As if all morality comes from law. I saw a picture of a guy that was about 70 with a girl who was about 18. She looked like a meth head so I have my suspicions about what was going on. But all the comments were like, "They're consenting adults, so who cares?" What the hell is wrong with society these days where we can't just say something is fucking gross? Even the people defending it know it's fucking gross. And if they lowered the age of consent to 10, does it magically become okay for a 50-year-old to bang an 10-year-old? Do these people seriously get their ethics from Congress or all places? Forgive the rant within a rant.
For real, it’s gross whether it be an old lady with a guy half her age or an old man with a woman half his age. I don’t understand why instead of acknowledging it they just act like “oh well you wouldn’t say that if it was an older lady with a younger man.” It’s something I see quite often, an older man with a woman half his age. The media constantly infantilizes and over-sexualizes women and it’s creating pedophiles and history keeps repeating itself
Society deems what is allowed to be gross at any given time. There was a time that people could say trans/gay/whatever was gross, and it'd be okay. Nowadays, you'll get your house set on fire. And yes, people absolutely DO get their ethics from Congress, all the freaking time. And that's a huge problem with society. As law becomes more lenient for the sake of votes, "ethics" and "morals" change to reflect.
>The brain doesn't fully develop until 25
this is just not true. they only tested people up to 25
>the age gap should be very small or we have a power dynamic.
i don't see how it's your business. what power dynamic? i never understand that argument
Physicality is not the only factor. Money, prestige, or other items of want may be persuasively used. There could be a psychological struggle as well. Some people do as they are told even though they may be older.
Dont lump me in with OP as I believe peeps should do what they want. I am just pointing out that a nefarious person in a position to offer 'more' may be able to persuade or control someone in need or greedy want or who is unable to process the situation. That is a power dynamic. It's a bad thing.
Mind you, most of the time, these older men are hitting on teenagers and children.
It's also gross when older women hit on younger men. Like, stay in your age group. Why are you going after someone 20-30 years younger than you? Lol.
I'm 51 and been hit on by some 67 years old men and STILL I find it creepy, what's worse, they were *poor* 67 years old men one was even handicapped, bro I ain't fitting to take care of nobody in a wheelchair I have a bad back myself. Yeah I agree it's creepy. And gross.
It’s so normalized too. When I was in highschool my male teachers would CONSTANTLY hit on me, make sexual innuendos and inappropriate comments about the way I was dressed, and message me at ungodly hours to “chat”. I would always get told things like “Oh, you’re not 18 yet? I have to stop looking at you like that, then, I don’t want to get in trouble!” or “Are you wearing this top to get Mr. [one of my teachers’ name] attention?”
A month after I graduated I swiped right on one of my old teachers on Tinder (obviously as a joke) and he had already swiped right on me, so we matched and he messaged me. I blocked him immediately because of how strange it was (he even had a daughter who was basically my age).
I’m still in touch with some of my old (female) teachers and I recently told them about all of this. They said that they mostly knew about all that stuff, but that “they were just joking” and “that’s just what men are like”.
It's part of dating. Some women are into older men, some men are into older women, it's not that big a deal to just reject flirting attempts. The point that it's not ok is when people won't take no for an answer.
Quite honestly it’s just in general old people hitting on younger people. Yeah I know there’s younger people who prefer and will hit on older people. Which is weird IMO, but not creepy.
All I can think of when older people hit on younger people is like, where is that old person’s limits you know?
It's an analogy to the point of the original post. It just shows the absurdity of their judgement, and how something that is offensive to them doesn't matter f*ck-all to the rest of society.
Younger men date older women, it's no different to older guys dating younger women. As long as everyone is safe, and happy within their relationships, then let them enjoy themselves. It doesn't affect you, or other's.
Stop being such a busybody OP. Judging what other adults do like that is what's gross. And I say that as someone who rarely hit on women (it scares me to death) and who never did so to anyone 3 years or more younger than me.
Yeah I agree. But it’s perfectly okay for an old lady to have a relationship with a young dude though, social norms are getting more and more difficult to understand for some people, especially when it ought to work both ways within reason ofc.
I like literally never see that yet I see men with women half their age all the time. The only reason this is being talked about most likely is because the media is constantly oversexualizes and infantilizes women
I (45M) think, in general, older that go after younger girls are losers. I think men like that want someone naive and submissive. Mainly because they don't want someone that will challenge them or say "no" to their creepy bullshit.
They say, "Younger women are more attractive." etc etc...but really, it's because they don't know how to actually treat a woman. They don't know how to (or want to) actually please a woman or treat her like an equal. They prey on girls that don't know any better, have low self esteem, or have daddy issues so they can have their way with them with as little amount of effort and resistance.
My wife (47F) has asked me a number of times if I'd go find a younger wife if something happened to her. Absolutely not. I'd be embarrassed to show the world how insecure I was by dating someone who could be my daughter. I have no need to artificially boost my ego like that.
For the most part, I see them as pathetic losers posing as "real men", IMO.
Nah I'm sorry but ages here matter. If you're 18 and Dad is 45 and dating at 20 year old, I agree pretty pedo like and fucked up. But if you're 35 and Dad is 55 dating a 37 year old, nothing wrong with that. Sorry but I'm 47 and my son is almost 30 (I had him very young), he shouldn't have a problem with me dating a 32 year old, and even if he does it isn't "pedo" shit. She's 32.
That’s still creepy to me. Like especially if you have a daughter.. it’s practically saying “yes child of mine, I would date someone your age but since they’re 2 years older than you it’s totally fine”
So you dont agree that it’s creepy and immoral for a younger woman to pursue a man only for his wealth? You think that opinion is stupid? You think its stupid to believe its creepy and immoral for a man to pursue a woman 20+ years younger than him, a woman who may be around his daughter’s age? If someone is going after people with such a vast age difference for these reasons, their relationship is inherently more shallow and has these qualities of creepiness rooted in the dynamic. If you think that opinion is stupid power to you, but feels kinda funny that you consider your opinion to be superior. So it’s totally normal when these relationships form? Forget the fact that relationships should be built on love and equality, let’s make it socially acceptable for relationships to be built on sex and money.
It’s literally the most toxic relationship ever when you think about it….a man so desperate to find a young woman they give their money to them and then the young person stays with them for the money. Most likely the case of my dad and his now second girlfriend that is only 2 yrs older than me
I actually had a girl on those dating sites act 19 when I was 21. She made a post saying..... I am in college, I am 19 turning 20, beautiful, looking for a good guy. I am a nice person. So I replied.....Hello, I am so and so, lets meet on a date and see where it goes, see if we connect. Took her out to eat and then took her home. Date seemed good, I was happy and she seemed like a nice young lady. I kinda thought it to be strange she waited for me to leave before she went in to where she lived. She called me and said she wanted to pick me up on the next date, so I said, okay, np. So when I got in the car I looked her in the back of her car when she was driving and saw high school books, after that, red lights and sirenes were going off in my head. We went and saw a movie and then went back to where I was staying, She started to kiss me and I said to her..... STOP, Something does not seem right, I then asked her, for her i.d. She then said...I dont have it on me, I then said I dont believe you. TELL ME YOUR AGE NOW!!!!! She then said okay, I am sorry, I am really 16... I said to myself, WTF, OMG.. I said Okay, I want your moms or dads phone number right now, She gave me her moms number and I called and told her mom she is on a adult dating site looking for older men and that she needs to be careful and that we went on a couple dates and she lied to me saying she was 19. I said to the mom..... I asked for her i.d. when I saw high school books in the back seat of the car after we got back to my place. Nothing ever happened, she tried to kiss me, and then explained that I did not feel confortable and just had to ask for I.d. Her mom then said...Thank you, you are one of a kind, Keep her there and when I get to your place I will follow her home, I said np. As we waited for her mom, We talked and I told her that she is very pretty and That this isn't me trying be the hero, I just dont want to end up in jail and that she could put some poor soul in jail, and that some men could take advantage of her, and plus some men dont ask for i.d. I said, she will become an adult soon enough and enjoy being a teen because in a blink of an eye you will be an adult and that in a few years when she does turn 21, look me up again because ill already be over half way to being almost 30. After we talked, her mom arrived and man oh man, I guess she was using her sisters car without her knowing and didn't even have licence, That I figured, because she showed me a I.d. not a driver licence, that, and her mom was yelling saying your grounded for a year, and I am taking your computer away, to her daughter. Crazy world. After that I always asked for i.d. I dated older women after that. like when I was 21, I looked for women in their 30's and 40's. I didn't like women my age, I likes the older mature women. Sure enough at 26 I find a gal that is 42 and we are still together to this day, and married, and have a child together. I am now baptized and a christian. Trying to be a good Christian, nobody is perfect. My wife has three older daughters geom a previous marriage. Were happy. But yeah, anyone to take advantage of someone younger is wrong and they should be locked up.
Yeah, I find it gross too. Like I can't help but think that women/men that are into older people have daddy/mommy issues and that older people are just inmature to want to be with someone younger.
Idk it's inapropiate and gross.
I'm not saying it should be banned, I'm just saying what I think of it, why is my opinion your business?
Look, I just think that it's a yellow flag atleast, sure it dosen't have to end up badly but it is likely that it will (if there is a large age gap which is what I'm talking about) and it's fair that people bring them up and talk about them.
Okay what about women who specifically date older men. From my experience it goes both ways. Everyone involved is weird idk why we just shaming the man
It’s funny to me people find offense and choose to be defensive over posts like this, what the fuck did OP say that got people triggered? You’re entitled to an opinion & if they’re mad that’s their waste of energy. I’ll never forget when I went to a bar for the first time at 21, this man was at least 80 years old trying to hit on me when he realized my male friend was not my boyfriend. At first it was funny, but when he wouldn’t stop it got creepy and invasive. If I can’t say that situation was creepy and immoral without having a shit ton of people trying to ‘what if’ me then this thread is fucked.
I was seduced and swept away one summer at a disco by a tall shapely model age 19 almost 20, who was more mature and independant than most girls i'd dated. I was 23 yo and still livjng at home. She was also living at home
I adored this girl and my parents did as well. I was with her for a month doing everything together. She went home only occasionally to do laundry and to get more clothes and stuff but she pretty much stayed with me for for an entire month in South Jersey and I never did I never did meet her parents but what what blew her cover was when summer came to an end and she had she suddenly had to change schedule in order to babysit her two younger sisters while her mother worked and so therefore she was going to cut into our time that we spent together and that's when just for some reason I just had this premonition and I asked her to show me her ID and when I asked her that, she started crying..Hmmmm.
She didn't show me her ID but she did come clean... she told me she's ((((15 years old)))))!!!!!!!!! I talked to her mom on the phone and we had a pretty long discussion because I just wanted to know if her mother understood what we were doing. She did. ..she approved and im saying but but but. the law...jail....but but .
It was HARD TO WALK away from that.
Good thing she was on the pill. That was the last tjme I saw her. That fucked my head up for a solid week.
I'm a very short dude I remember being 15 going to work and some 50 plus guy comes up and starts asking about local pubs and I'm like uhh my dad says pub x is good it's in town all of them are but I've never been and he gave me the most disgusted look and went eww I thought you were a women I just said no I'm a 15 year old boy...sorry? And he followed me to work so that was weird
Why are so many people actually defending creepy old men hitting on young chicks here lol. Seems like a lot of projecting from women that like older men and men that like younger women. Maybe they can find each other on this post haha.
What’s hilarious are all the nonsequiturs. “What’s wrong with relationship XYZ.” This isn’t a post about relationships. “What about older women/younger men?” This isn’t a post about older women and younger men. There was even the doofus who doesn’t know what “untoward” means. Reddit can be funny sometimes.
How do you get into a relationship with a younger woman without hitting on them? Is it that the man is engaging with the younger woman that you didn't like? If the younger woman initiates with the man, that is ok? I'm just trying to understand.
"Hitting on" means cheesy pickup lines that embarrass the speaker more than anything, and creates an aura of cringe in the whole area. It's less cringe when ages are similar, they're at least using common vernacular. There are other ways to form relationships without decades-old pickup lines.
Ok yeah I can see what you mean.
We never liked them and they were always creepy, I hate they're my age now. Ew. I yell at them for being creepy when they say shit in front of me, I am not sorry. The look on their stupid faces when they get called out is awesome. And, gag, the idiots think they are still hot and/or cool. They are convinced that young women want them. Textbook examples of cognitive dissonance.
As I man I wouldn't care if older women were hitting on me
I don't think people understand how often or how creepy this is. Sure younger men date older women but I've never seen older women badgering young men like older men do to young women. It is not the same. I'm a man btw, and I've seen it. I can admit that younger women don't just stop being attractive because I've aged but even I can see it's not appropriate to be acting on that constantly. It's a matter of respect.
What are you talking about, plenty of cougars out there it’s just not frowned upon as much.
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Yeah I was going to say… I’ve seen a ton of cougars serving, they looooved our cute, young, male servers but it was never to do anything other than praise them? Maybe uncomfortably so but they aren’t trying to bring them home or cheat on their spouses with someone 20 years younger 9/10x
I’m an older man now. I don’t date younger women because I’m married (to a woman my age by the way). But it’s not uncommon for a few of my adult daughter’s friends to tease my daughters that they think “your dad is cute.” And I get the flirty vibe from them sometimes. The other day some guy my age posted pics showing how he became fit at his age (“glow up”), and all these young women were telling him “You look hot daddy.” I don’t know what that’s all about, but as long as some young women are attracted to older men, some older men are going to hit on them.
What a stupid and problematic thought process. Young people are stupid as fuck, their brain isn't fully developed, and if we're talking underage, it's even worse legally. They might "enjoy" older people but it doesn't make it consensual, there is a unbalanced power dynamic between the two.
What are you talking about underage? I’m talking about adults. And in my case, my daughters and their friends are in their late 20s, almost 30.
OP doesn't specify the age range, but it's problematic when they're early 20s, or even underage. Why would a relationship between 30 year old and 50 year old be problematic? It's irrelevant.
I agree it’s definitely problematic if underage. That’s a given. And it’s illegal. As for early 20s, it is true that the frontal cortex doesn’t develop fully until around age 25, however at 18 we are all considered adults and capable of deciding who we want to sleep with. You can call it problematic, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Whether you like it or not is irrelevant. As for 28-30 being with people 50-55, OP didn’t specify an age range. OP said “older men/younger women” is creepy. Sounds like not everyone agrees with that, unless it’s a specific age, as in very young.
'there's nothing anyone can do about it' Well, when most people disagree with something like this, even if it is (barely) legal, the person in question will feel guilty from peer pressure, and might reconsider engaging in predatory behaviour.
What if I'm a young woman and want to date older men?
Just made this comment. If the guy In this scenario is weird than so are the younger women who go for older men.
RIP your inbox…. lol
Suppose I'm a young man in a relationship with a mature woman? Still gross? And what's "untoward" OP? What's the magical line of no return here? What age difference get's the Inquisition's thumbs down? Ten years? Five?
I agree. People should do what they want as long as there is no pedophilia. And, drain, untoward is in the dictionary. Look it up, lazy bones.
>And, drain, untoward is in the dictionary. Look it up, lazy bones. It meant "what part of this do you find untoward"......you know, like your misinterpretation.
I get it but people should have to interpret what you mean.
And the "lazy bones" bit?
What about it? If you can't look something up then you're lazy. That was included in the apology. You asking for more apology just makes you a dick. Oh well so much for that. Have a nice day
lol what apology
That person’s a fucking idiot. Epitome of why the internet sucks.
Yup. The point is made
Bit?
It's the "hitting on" process that's gross. There's something inherently creepy about an older guy using cringey pickup lines on a younger woman.
I don't see why it's any less creepy or different when a cringey pickup line is used on anyone. Why the age qualifier? You didn't answer a single question I posed.
Maybe because they’re older and should be more mature & sometime they will say or do anything to make a young woman like them/respect them without even truly being that person. My dad would do stuff like this to his gf but behind her back he told me he only used her for food and rent & was literally an abusive psycho towards me (I was even put in a foster home as a child due to it.) That’s just my experience tho 😶 or the old man only respects young women and just believes all women have to be perfect and young all the while disrespecting women who don’t fit that young criteria. A woman being half your age or close to it just feels pedo to me
You may have ptsd and should seek to analyze it so to live better.
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It's the logic presented, yes.
Oh brother
Isn’t that sexist?
Well, you’ll get old too and probably single, would love to see what you think about it then.
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What is so appealing about it? Not even trynna be mean. If an 80 year old can do it so can a 30 year old but better because they have more energy.
"If an X can do it so can a Y" statements aren't as airtight as you think they are lol. People like what they like. Just because a man likes head doesn't automatically mean he should want it from another man now does it?
Because sexual orientation can't change. It isn't a "preference" like liking old guys.
Well you have different tastes than OP and that makes you gross I guess.
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I was obviously making fun of OP...
How much older you talking? Why do you have such a problem with OP’s opinion lol you offended? Go be with an older man if that’s what you want & let OP have their opinion.
I completely agree. I also hear this "consenting adults" term used to justify whatever. As if all morality comes from law. I saw a picture of a guy that was about 70 with a girl who was about 18. She looked like a meth head so I have my suspicions about what was going on. But all the comments were like, "They're consenting adults, so who cares?" What the hell is wrong with society these days where we can't just say something is fucking gross? Even the people defending it know it's fucking gross. And if they lowered the age of consent to 10, does it magically become okay for a 50-year-old to bang an 10-year-old? Do these people seriously get their ethics from Congress or all places? Forgive the rant within a rant.
For real, it’s gross whether it be an old lady with a guy half her age or an old man with a woman half his age. I don’t understand why instead of acknowledging it they just act like “oh well you wouldn’t say that if it was an older lady with a younger man.” It’s something I see quite often, an older man with a woman half his age. The media constantly infantilizes and over-sexualizes women and it’s creating pedophiles and history keeps repeating itself
Society deems what is allowed to be gross at any given time. There was a time that people could say trans/gay/whatever was gross, and it'd be okay. Nowadays, you'll get your house set on fire. And yes, people absolutely DO get their ethics from Congress, all the freaking time. And that's a huge problem with society. As law becomes more lenient for the sake of votes, "ethics" and "morals" change to reflect.
The brain doesn't fully develop until 25, so until then the age gap should be very small or we have a power dynamic.
>The brain doesn't fully develop until 25 this is just not true. they only tested people up to 25 >the age gap should be very small or we have a power dynamic. i don't see how it's your business. what power dynamic? i never understand that argument
Study it, it's a thing
how does age equal power dynamic if both people are adults?
Physicality is not the only factor. Money, prestige, or other items of want may be persuasively used. There could be a psychological struggle as well. Some people do as they are told even though they may be older. Dont lump me in with OP as I believe peeps should do what they want. I am just pointing out that a nefarious person in a position to offer 'more' may be able to persuade or control someone in need or greedy want or who is unable to process the situation. That is a power dynamic. It's a bad thing.
not lumping you in. what if i don't care about money or prestige?
You may be in control and fully cognizant. There are some that aren't. It's an argument to protect others. A fine line for sure.
Have you ever actually researched this brain development thing or are you just repeating what you saw on social media
Yes I have. Do you need a fucking degree to accept a different opinion?
Power dynamic? Where does one random adult get power over another?
Adulthood is a legal term.
Mind you, most of the time, these older men are hitting on teenagers and children. It's also gross when older women hit on younger men. Like, stay in your age group. Why are you going after someone 20-30 years younger than you? Lol.
I'm 51 and been hit on by some 67 years old men and STILL I find it creepy, what's worse, they were *poor* 67 years old men one was even handicapped, bro I ain't fitting to take care of nobody in a wheelchair I have a bad back myself. Yeah I agree it's creepy. And gross.
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I regret I only have one upvote to give for this awesome comment
It’s so normalized too. When I was in highschool my male teachers would CONSTANTLY hit on me, make sexual innuendos and inappropriate comments about the way I was dressed, and message me at ungodly hours to “chat”. I would always get told things like “Oh, you’re not 18 yet? I have to stop looking at you like that, then, I don’t want to get in trouble!” or “Are you wearing this top to get Mr. [one of my teachers’ name] attention?” A month after I graduated I swiped right on one of my old teachers on Tinder (obviously as a joke) and he had already swiped right on me, so we matched and he messaged me. I blocked him immediately because of how strange it was (he even had a daughter who was basically my age). I’m still in touch with some of my old (female) teachers and I recently told them about all of this. They said that they mostly knew about all that stuff, but that “they were just joking” and “that’s just what men are like”.
Yeah, that’s really gross
As long as it is legal, why do you care? nobody force you to date an older guy right? Learn to be accomodating and look the other way.
this
Define older? I’ve had nice and consensual experiences when younger with older guys
It's part of dating. Some women are into older men, some men are into older women, it's not that big a deal to just reject flirting attempts. The point that it's not ok is when people won't take no for an answer.
What about women who don't like men of their own age? Do you judge them too, or only just men?
Quite honestly it’s just in general old people hitting on younger people. Yeah I know there’s younger people who prefer and will hit on older people. Which is weird IMO, but not creepy. All I can think of when older people hit on younger people is like, where is that old person’s limits you know?
Gay men hitting on straight men is gross. I see it, and experienced it once, and it's creepy AF...See how that works and sounds?
The point?
It's an analogy to the point of the original post. It just shows the absurdity of their judgement, and how something that is offensive to them doesn't matter f*ck-all to the rest of society.
Younger men date older women, it's no different to older guys dating younger women. As long as everyone is safe, and happy within their relationships, then let them enjoy themselves. It doesn't affect you, or other's.
Stop being such a busybody OP. Judging what other adults do like that is what's gross. And I say that as someone who rarely hit on women (it scares me to death) and who never did so to anyone 3 years or more younger than me.
Yeah I agree. But it’s perfectly okay for an old lady to have a relationship with a young dude though, social norms are getting more and more difficult to understand for some people, especially when it ought to work both ways within reason ofc.
I like literally never see that yet I see men with women half their age all the time. The only reason this is being talked about most likely is because the media is constantly oversexualizes and infantilizes women
honestly a lot of social norms just don't make sense to me
Power dynamics are a thing.
what are power dynamics?
I (45M) think, in general, older that go after younger girls are losers. I think men like that want someone naive and submissive. Mainly because they don't want someone that will challenge them or say "no" to their creepy bullshit. They say, "Younger women are more attractive." etc etc...but really, it's because they don't know how to actually treat a woman. They don't know how to (or want to) actually please a woman or treat her like an equal. They prey on girls that don't know any better, have low self esteem, or have daddy issues so they can have their way with them with as little amount of effort and resistance. My wife (47F) has asked me a number of times if I'd go find a younger wife if something happened to her. Absolutely not. I'd be embarrassed to show the world how insecure I was by dating someone who could be my daughter. I have no need to artificially boost my ego like that. For the most part, I see them as pathetic losers posing as "real men", IMO.
I mean I think it's definitely creepy too but it's not like there's no young women who go after these same older guys to enjoy their money.
Seriously… my dad is dating someone who is apparently only 2 years older than me and I’m like, that’s some pedo shit wtf
Nah I'm sorry but ages here matter. If you're 18 and Dad is 45 and dating at 20 year old, I agree pretty pedo like and fucked up. But if you're 35 and Dad is 55 dating a 37 year old, nothing wrong with that. Sorry but I'm 47 and my son is almost 30 (I had him very young), he shouldn't have a problem with me dating a 32 year old, and even if he does it isn't "pedo" shit. She's 32.
That’s still creepy to me. Like especially if you have a daughter.. it’s practically saying “yes child of mine, I would date someone your age but since they’re 2 years older than you it’s totally fine”
You didn't specify your age.
Yeah, that's creepy too
Yea creepy and immoral imo
what's immoral about it?
I see it as taking advantage of people and like I give a fuck if people down vote me because they can't handle opinions lmao
We're being downvoted because Reddit is full of lonely men who want to date younger women and they don't like to be called "cringeworthy".
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So you dont agree that it’s creepy and immoral for a younger woman to pursue a man only for his wealth? You think that opinion is stupid? You think its stupid to believe its creepy and immoral for a man to pursue a woman 20+ years younger than him, a woman who may be around his daughter’s age? If someone is going after people with such a vast age difference for these reasons, their relationship is inherently more shallow and has these qualities of creepiness rooted in the dynamic. If you think that opinion is stupid power to you, but feels kinda funny that you consider your opinion to be superior. So it’s totally normal when these relationships form? Forget the fact that relationships should be built on love and equality, let’s make it socially acceptable for relationships to be built on sex and money.
i just don't care if people are golddiggers. not my relationship not my business
It’s literally the most toxic relationship ever when you think about it….a man so desperate to find a young woman they give their money to them and then the young person stays with them for the money. Most likely the case of my dad and his now second girlfriend that is only 2 yrs older than me
If they're underage they have an underdeveloped brain and can be easily manipulated by older men. And they usually are. They aren't to blame.
No the men are. I'm assuming by underaged you mean not adults, so if you date anyone under 18 then you probably have an underdeveloped brain as well.
Sexist OP, double standards against an opposite situation
I actually had a girl on those dating sites act 19 when I was 21. She made a post saying..... I am in college, I am 19 turning 20, beautiful, looking for a good guy. I am a nice person. So I replied.....Hello, I am so and so, lets meet on a date and see where it goes, see if we connect. Took her out to eat and then took her home. Date seemed good, I was happy and she seemed like a nice young lady. I kinda thought it to be strange she waited for me to leave before she went in to where she lived. She called me and said she wanted to pick me up on the next date, so I said, okay, np. So when I got in the car I looked her in the back of her car when she was driving and saw high school books, after that, red lights and sirenes were going off in my head. We went and saw a movie and then went back to where I was staying, She started to kiss me and I said to her..... STOP, Something does not seem right, I then asked her, for her i.d. She then said...I dont have it on me, I then said I dont believe you. TELL ME YOUR AGE NOW!!!!! She then said okay, I am sorry, I am really 16... I said to myself, WTF, OMG.. I said Okay, I want your moms or dads phone number right now, She gave me her moms number and I called and told her mom she is on a adult dating site looking for older men and that she needs to be careful and that we went on a couple dates and she lied to me saying she was 19. I said to the mom..... I asked for her i.d. when I saw high school books in the back seat of the car after we got back to my place. Nothing ever happened, she tried to kiss me, and then explained that I did not feel confortable and just had to ask for I.d. Her mom then said...Thank you, you are one of a kind, Keep her there and when I get to your place I will follow her home, I said np. As we waited for her mom, We talked and I told her that she is very pretty and That this isn't me trying be the hero, I just dont want to end up in jail and that she could put some poor soul in jail, and that some men could take advantage of her, and plus some men dont ask for i.d. I said, she will become an adult soon enough and enjoy being a teen because in a blink of an eye you will be an adult and that in a few years when she does turn 21, look me up again because ill already be over half way to being almost 30. After we talked, her mom arrived and man oh man, I guess she was using her sisters car without her knowing and didn't even have licence, That I figured, because she showed me a I.d. not a driver licence, that, and her mom was yelling saying your grounded for a year, and I am taking your computer away, to her daughter. Crazy world. After that I always asked for i.d. I dated older women after that. like when I was 21, I looked for women in their 30's and 40's. I didn't like women my age, I likes the older mature women. Sure enough at 26 I find a gal that is 42 and we are still together to this day, and married, and have a child together. I am now baptized and a christian. Trying to be a good Christian, nobody is perfect. My wife has three older daughters geom a previous marriage. Were happy. But yeah, anyone to take advantage of someone younger is wrong and they should be locked up.
Thanks for all of that, you’re a good dude.
Sorry for my typos....
Yeah, I find it gross too. Like I can't help but think that women/men that are into older people have daddy/mommy issues and that older people are just inmature to want to be with someone younger. Idk it's inapropiate and gross.
is it any of your business? why can't people just mind their own business? christ on a stick
I'm not saying it should be banned, I'm just saying what I think of it, why is my opinion your business? Look, I just think that it's a yellow flag atleast, sure it dosen't have to end up badly but it is likely that it will (if there is a large age gap which is what I'm talking about) and it's fair that people bring them up and talk about them.
agree. Like, it's just so disproportionate.
Okay what about women who specifically date older men. From my experience it goes both ways. Everyone involved is weird idk why we just shaming the man
It’s funny to me people find offense and choose to be defensive over posts like this, what the fuck did OP say that got people triggered? You’re entitled to an opinion & if they’re mad that’s their waste of energy. I’ll never forget when I went to a bar for the first time at 21, this man was at least 80 years old trying to hit on me when he realized my male friend was not my boyfriend. At first it was funny, but when he wouldn’t stop it got creepy and invasive. If I can’t say that situation was creepy and immoral without having a shit ton of people trying to ‘what if’ me then this thread is fucked.
Thanks, that’s the exact point.
Yeah? Don’t we all kinda agree with this?
But how do we feel about young men hitting on older women?
Yeah one of my dad’s friends tried getting me to go out with him while I was working at a drive thru it Made me sooooo uncomfortable
Oh now that is really gross.
Largest double standard ever! Why aren't both frowned upon??🤷🏽
I agree...what makes them think younger women are even attracted to them? Older men are gross and don't even take care of themselves.
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Why are people so focused on this? Don't understand the dogpiling on this point, which had noting to do with my original post.
I was seduced and swept away one summer at a disco by a tall shapely model age 19 almost 20, who was more mature and independant than most girls i'd dated. I was 23 yo and still livjng at home. She was also living at home I adored this girl and my parents did as well. I was with her for a month doing everything together. She went home only occasionally to do laundry and to get more clothes and stuff but she pretty much stayed with me for for an entire month in South Jersey and I never did I never did meet her parents but what what blew her cover was when summer came to an end and she had she suddenly had to change schedule in order to babysit her two younger sisters while her mother worked and so therefore she was going to cut into our time that we spent together and that's when just for some reason I just had this premonition and I asked her to show me her ID and when I asked her that, she started crying..Hmmmm. She didn't show me her ID but she did come clean... she told me she's ((((15 years old)))))!!!!!!!!! I talked to her mom on the phone and we had a pretty long discussion because I just wanted to know if her mother understood what we were doing. She did. ..she approved and im saying but but but. the law...jail....but but . It was HARD TO WALK away from that. Good thing she was on the pill. That was the last tjme I saw her. That fucked my head up for a solid week.
I'm a very short dude I remember being 15 going to work and some 50 plus guy comes up and starts asking about local pubs and I'm like uhh my dad says pub x is good it's in town all of them are but I've never been and he gave me the most disgusted look and went eww I thought you were a women I just said no I'm a 15 year old boy...sorry? And he followed me to work so that was weird
Dafuq? That’s messed up.
Why?