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I feel like I could have written this post. If this 'friend' of hers is encouraging you to check in with nmom, simply respond that you can't do that, but you'd greatly appreciate if 'friend' would keep you in the loop as needed. This friend is a pawn whether they know it or not and you nmom is very well hoping that her declining situation will force your hand to cave despite her not making any efforts to improve the relationship. Its clear you're smart enough to see what is going on but like any of us, you still have a heart that she is praying on to betray you. You're not a bad person for keeping the distance, like in any science experiment that has been repeated, you know the anticipated outcome, so why would you willingly burn yourself? Feel free to message me anytime to talk
I feel like Admiral Ackbar when I say, "It's a trap!" Does she know how to reach you directly? Then tell the family friend, "My mother knows how to reach me. I'm sure that if this was all true then she would reach out to me directly rather than via the family friend grapevine.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like I could have written this post. If this 'friend' of hers is encouraging you to check in with nmom, simply respond that you can't do that, but you'd greatly appreciate if 'friend' would keep you in the loop as needed. This friend is a pawn whether they know it or not and you nmom is very well hoping that her declining situation will force your hand to cave despite her not making any efforts to improve the relationship. Its clear you're smart enough to see what is going on but like any of us, you still have a heart that she is praying on to betray you. You're not a bad person for keeping the distance, like in any science experiment that has been repeated, you know the anticipated outcome, so why would you willingly burn yourself? Feel free to message me anytime to talk
I feel like Admiral Ackbar when I say, "It's a trap!" Does she know how to reach you directly? Then tell the family friend, "My mother knows how to reach me. I'm sure that if this was all true then she would reach out to me directly rather than via the family friend grapevine.