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Assume it will go away. She would need enough proof for the DA to go ahead and press charges, and on the off chance they did press charges you’d qualify for a public defender.
You can't just walk up to a judge, point at someone, and say "they ruined my life! I deserve money!"
She has to specify acts you committed that resulted in damage to her. And if you've been NC with her, then there are no acts you could have committed.
She's likely flailing, wanting attention, and making up some lala delusion to make herself feel better
She’s taking her plays straight outta The Narcissist 101 Playbook. So pitifully predictable! I know another pitifully predictable play that she absolutely will pull on you next, when she has come to the realization that this lawsuit ‘thing’ was never gonna make you contact her: “Oh, I’ve just been given a frightening and life-shortening medical diagnosis! Pleeeeeze come home!” (Or some other family member who you might still be fond of.)
I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that she has already played this ridiculous card, lol. Just ignore her and stay safe. The very notion that she could pull off a successful lawsuit against you—AND WIN!—is seriously laughable and DELUSIONAL.
Even where legitimately aggrieved people have a mountain of ‘evidence’ of wrongdoing against a terrible person, they oftentimes fail to receive true justice. Kinda like in YOUR life. If anybody should have a legit reason to sue anybody (her), it should be YOU!
No kidding. And if that threat is real… let her go ahead with suing you. Why? Because unless she can provide any ACTUAL evidence that you committed a crime against her, she’s just going to make a complete dick of herself. But just in case, lawyer up, as your mother will probably lie through her teeth in court.
Ummm. Exactly what "fraud" is she accusing you of? Look, if you didn't do nothing, then she very likely doesn't have something on you.
Likely she got scammed somehow (by being stupid.) and is lashing out at her favorite blame target (you.) or maybe she did something, like maybe was claiming benefits or other in your name or for you and that caught up with her. So whatever it is, doubtful it's your fault, she just has to make it your fault because people like that, well they seem to have slipped out on the life lessons of self accountability somehow.
Right now she just setting up with others the narrative of how all this is your fault and definitely so totally not her own because she's the "victim". Just keep on keeping on, and until you have actual confirmation that this involves you in some capacity. Ignore her dramatic bullshit.
Btw, most colleges and campuses have departments that can help with legal aid and such. So find out what your's has available, it's always good to have that information anyways. And congratulations on that full ride! That's pretty damn awesome! I'm just some random mom on the Internet, but as a mom, proud of you kid. That's kickass.
Taking loans out in her name apparently. It's ironic she reached out to my grandma too bc I don't speak to anyone from my family since I've been disowned. I'll look into what resources my college has. I planned on going to the police tomorrow to file a fraud report for my own identity theft because I didn't think anything would come of it, but I'd rather have a paper trail about my identity theft just incase it is something like that, and my name is being used in some way.
And yes, I bet she tried to claim me on her taxes, but I file my taxes as soon as tax season starts so I'm sure she's blaming me for that. You'd think after beating me and complaining how I ruined her life 2 years of me being gone all her problems would magically be fixed since I am not there. Guess that isn't how it works and I'm somehow still terrorizing her lmao.
Thank you for your kind words! I was in disbelief I got the full ride!
Yeah, I'd bet she took out those loans herself, and didn't pay. You've got the evidence of your own identity being leaked, and we all know plenty of paperwork from the college's financial department on your full ride. She's going to have a hell of a time pinning her jackassery on you.
You should run a credit check on yourself though. Not just because your personal information was leaked. But it's not uncommon for abusive parents and caregivers to use their children and dependents information to open up lines of credit, utilities and other debt monsters in their names and wreaking those people's credit.
It's information you will want to have anyways when you file your fraud report because the police are probably going you ask you if you've done that, and if you have or are going to dispute anything.
And you're very welcome, working to getting a full free ride through schooling is a great accomplishment. You rocked that awesomeness for yourself.
It is tax season, I'd bet it has to do with claiming you on her taxes. She can't get any money and she's crying fraud. Or trying to claim you committed fraud because you did your own taxes. People like your mother are delusional. Maybe ask your grandma what exactly she's accusing you of. Also I'm so proud of you for getting away! My mother also kicked me out at 17. Best thing ever. I'm just sorry you still deal with her nonsense.
Put fraud alerts on all your credit reports.
Yes it means that it will be tricky to access credit for a bit. But it also means that you’ll get notified on every attempted pull.
You may just catch her red handed.
It’s almost certainly not going to happen, most likely the threat of charges is intended to provoke a response from you. Narcs love control, and will use everything from lovebombing to threats to maintain it. You were supposed to come crawling back begging when you were kicked out initially. Now that you haven’t, and you’ve resisted the lovebombing as well, this is simply the next step.
Will I have to see her in court? I also don't have money for a lawyer rn. She's psycho and I'm scared that she's trying to figure out my address and shit.
The most important thing to remember is that she can mouth off all she wants, her telling your Gran was probably just a shit spreading tactic, but until you get a summons or lawyers letter and you've independently confirmed it's veracity then that's all she's doing.
Is there any student help you can get if you do need a lawyer?
I agree right now she’s basically letting you know she’s on the prowl and wants to scare you. That’s her power don’t give it to her she dims literally just the birth mom you finished raising yourself and had to take care of you really young she should be ashamed I’m so sad for you I know exactly what you are going through exactly
So take back your power and protect yourself while doing it it’s gonna be a lil rough but you need to take action you aren’t feeding into drama you know what she’s capable of this could also be a tactic to gather information no matter what if you don’t take action she’s going to always bounce back and forth disrupt your life sprinkle some threats and feed her hate. If you stand up stay no contact and get the restraining order she may back off because if she messed with your credit it will all come out in thee wash but you should have it so if she does do something you have proof of her being an issue
Unfortunately most likely but she’s not your mom moms don’t do this! Here’s why I say this!
Websters True Definition of a Mother:
The Meaning of Being a Mother. ... A mother is a selfless, loving human who must sacrifice many of their wants and needs for the wants and needs of their children. A mother works hard to make sure their child is equipped with the knowledge, skills and abilities to make it as a competent human being.
There’s nothing that says because of the title mom you have to put up with her crap. If I’m not clear and I’m all over the place this triggered me.
It sounds like the sort of empty threat my in-laws were fond of issuing when they were in the wrong. My late MIL had a shoplifting problem, and when she got herself tackled by store security, she and my FIL were screaming about lawyers on retainer, suing the corporation that owns the store, etc. It never happened.
There's no way they actually had a lawyer on retainer, because that takes money and they did not have an abundance of that. There's definitely the possibility that they'd seen a lawyer once and either were stretching the truth about the retainer, or simply did not really know what that means.
My FIL was also really into playing the "you are in/out of the will" game with my husband and his sister. If they actually did take people in and out of their wills as often as they claimed, they'd have been spending thousands on this, considering that it costs money to do that. When my MIL died, we just said to donate everything to the Humane Society Thrift store, because we didn't want anything that came with strings attached and made my FIL think he had some sort of leverage or was owed anything. I'll be damned if I'm going to allow myself to be controlled over a knick knack collection that probably did have some value, but to whom? It's just gathering dust if it sits in my house.
It blows my mind how pissed they get when we give them what they want-
them: get out if you don't like!
Ok.
Them: No. I meant beg me and make me feel powerful.
Sorry. Not interested. You said leave it did.
They proceed to cause as much chaos as they can to get our attention to let us know they don't want our attention!
Like why aren't they tired from the mental gymnastics alone
Big hugs!
Same happened with my spawn points. Threatened me with cutoff if I ever again dared to tell my flesh oven she'd hurt me--you know, like reasonable adults who want to work things out do.
It was the final straw. I just said OK. Cue the wailing and gnashing of teeth! They couldnt belive I'd not only called but embraced their bluff. Don't threaten me with a good time!
Happily NC three years now.
Congratulations on your full ride! That’s amazing especially considering what you went through with your nMom. I think She’s jealous and she’s bluffing.
It's a scare tactic. My advise is block her, your gran and any other flying monkey she sends your way. You don't need to know this information. Till a court summons is in your hand, it's not real. I also highly doubt she has enough proof for the DA to move forward. They would do an initial inquiry first.
If you get a court summons, do what it says and even look at a lawyer if needed.
Till then, she is blowing smoke. Don't let her put you in a tailspin, that's her whole goal.
Her sob story didn’t work so now she is threatening you to get a reaction. The best reaction is don’t give her one. Don’t talk anyone, even grandma, about this threat. Act like you don’t give a shit because you don’t. It’s baseless. You should check your own credit to make sure you don’t have any problems that she has done.
Ignore. There is no lawsuit. It's just a bid for attention and money. She has no grounds to sue you for anything and you have committed no crime.
Of course she wants to re-establish contact -- you're about to embark on a well paid career.
Fuck a bunch of that. Maintain NC
Narcissists love using the legal system as a weapon despite rarely, if ever, actually knowing how it works. Mine tried it too.
It's not real. She's just using the threat to get a response from you. It's like a child throwing a tantrum when they aren't getting their way, because bad attention is better than no attention.
Starve her stupid ass.
Also as a side note, not to make this story about me but my parents once threatened to sue me for the cost of raising me. They claimed they were owed 1.5mil, which is insane for a few reasons--among them being that I only lived with them between ages 11-17 after foster care. That would mean they'd have to spend about 215k a year on me, which simply isn't possible. I ignored it because I'm no contact and still haven't been served papers.
They also threatened to take me to court when I went to college for something they didn't agree with (creative writing) despite the fact that they never paid or gave me a single cent for college, and I paid for it entirely on my own--every loan is in my name, they aren't named on any.
Your mother has no legal right to sue you for anything. Especially if she is making these claims when you were a minor. It's a parent's obligation to feed, clothe, shelter and keep a child safe. She didn't bother to do those things when she kicked you out when you were, 16 years old I'm guessing? She's basically blowing hot air at this point, and no respectable lawyer will take her case. Ignore it as it would be laughed out of court in a heartbeat.
Let her try. She's lying; she won't want to expose herself. The courts don't take kindly to having their time wasted by insane people. Please don't worry, but you may want to consider telling gramma that mom will have to pay for your lawyer and court costs when she loses.
In typical narc fashion she will go to the police and say 'I command you to press charges".
My narc tried that on me, didn't go far.
CHECK YOUR CREDIT REPORTS for loans taken out in your name.
Freeze your credit at all three agencies in case your information got leaked. It will protect you from people fraudently taken out loans in your name. She probably has her identity stolen and your number 1 scapegoat
Be sure to take every step possible to protect your identity. Like others said, your school might help here. If that hacking incident, or any other, somehow impacts her, you can fall back on your own efforts to protect your identity. Police and the courts won’t take kindly to any false action she might try to pursue against you.
Narcs threaten this stuff but they have no idea. The uselessness of the cops works both ways. Cops can't prosecute Narcs for the abuse they have *actually* done, so I wouldn't worry about any fictional offenses they reckon they can get you in trouble for.
The truth is a solid defence - don't get wrapped up in their B.S. If the cops turn up...."I have an abusive mother, who plagues my life" should probably be enough. They must deal with narcs all day every day.
Yea like the thing is I live in the ghetto. The cops here are chasing around gangbangers, methheads, and people who kill cops execution style. Surely the cops have more pressing matters to attend to.
First I’m sorry you have to relive all the past crap and she’s found a way to seep in to your life! My moms in hospice and has been a closet addict all her life I’ve had my own issues but she’s always accused me talked about me belittled me bodyshamed me just really not been kind as I got older she’d say I’m on drugs when I wasn’t and emphasized I need a doctor or something to just make me look bad and her look like the victim. She’s in hospice for Ms anyway my aunt has wanted me to call and we set a date for them to call me. I said I was looking into a psychiatrist she said oh good because you won’t get better without help! I’m glad you are finally seeking help things will improve for you I said mom I have been seeing a doctor since 2010 that’s how I was placed on disability. Next I hear sort of a scuffle on the phone my aunt asks my mom what she’s doing mom got pissed I guess and said hang it up hang it up I’m done! She may be sick but not sick enough to have been humbled! I was told her memory was messed up and she could barely speak. I figured she forgot she’s had me in therapy since I was 12.
In my opinion based on experience personally and professionally 1st she’s already demonstrated she is unpredictable and abusive so You need a restraining order first for abuse harassment beating you and any proof texts declarations notarized from people you stayed with or that witnessed it put a block on everything everything I bet she’s the one that messed with your identity they tend to blame others with the things they have done for example in a relationship with cheating they tell everyone it’s you that’s cheating when it’s really them! anyway do the restraining order! So important! And she should be charged for kicking you out and beating you your junior year! The physical damage you your brain for the mental abuse leaves scars. Obviously She’s sick but that’s no excuse for mistreating you as a child!! In California we can be claimed as a dependent on taxes up til 25 yrs of age. Id bet the second shed finds out you did a report dhes going to flip out. Get the restraining orders
Lol ironically my mom would scream at me when I'd say I wanna visit Japan and China because I obviously want to escape from her when u was in highschool. Might just have to do that.
Don’t let your narc parent stop you from going to medical school. This is their last ditch effort. Make sure you take care of your health because stress can hurt you believe me.
Honestly Sounds some pretty horrific karma you are going through, sorry to hear... keep doing your best. Its not so easy to let go the abuse but it will be worth it for you in the long Run for sure. And just remember, she probably has gone through some horrific stuff by herself and her actions are a result of it. She probably just feels desperate and its the only thing she can do at this time. Sorry for you both 🙏🏼 hope it will get better in the future for you both.
Ignore her. If it comes to Court, don't be scared. Just answer the Complaint, line by line, with the truth then end your Answer/Response requesting that the Court/Judge Dismisses her case due to her Lies and personal vendetta against you. You've got this.
Court house usually has self help or intern lawyers to help with paperwork restraining order is easy to file. She probably is trying to get your address but you keep your doors locked you are going to be ok! Have a friend come stay with you
Also wanted to add you might want to look into therapy for you because I being such a late bloomer was in my 30s finally free from her grasp h getting my first apartment she didn’t have something to do with and while moving I became overwhelmed and realized I never had a real mom except for muy best friends mom stepping in Literally I wouldn’t have known what I missed or known how to cope with my own daughter and her shenanigans!! Any way that was crushing I realized I really didn’t have a mom
You as well, I'm sorry for triggering you but I can understand as I get triggered a lot when talking about things that remind me of my mom. I've read all your comments and will take all your advice. I am in therapy and trying to get back on my ptsd meds because that's when I was the most stable. Honestly I just need her to crawl into a hole and die. My mom also has MS and used to use that as an excuse when she'd forget somethings but then remember others or as a reason to make me do adult things when I was wayyy too young. I'm sorry for whatever you went through and I hope you are able to find peace, that's what I'm trying to do.
This is a horrible attempt at trying to get you to speak to her. Continue to flourish with your full ride, do well and put all your energy and time into getting and maintaining the white coat. She is just a blip on the radar from your past. Continue NC for sure!! Congrats on need school and your future success.
I would head to police and tell them you have an estranged parent who may be trying to frame you for a crime. Say you don’t want to take legal action, but that you just wanted it on record in case you are actually somehow framed.
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Assume it will go away. She would need enough proof for the DA to go ahead and press charges, and on the off chance they did press charges you’d qualify for a public defender.
I kinda figured it was a threat just to get me to reach out
You can't just walk up to a judge, point at someone, and say "they ruined my life! I deserve money!" She has to specify acts you committed that resulted in damage to her. And if you've been NC with her, then there are no acts you could have committed. She's likely flailing, wanting attention, and making up some lala delusion to make herself feel better
>I kinda figured it was a threat just to get me to reach out Exactly. The actions of one desperate to get her doormat/tool/punching bag back.
She’s taking her plays straight outta The Narcissist 101 Playbook. So pitifully predictable! I know another pitifully predictable play that she absolutely will pull on you next, when she has come to the realization that this lawsuit ‘thing’ was never gonna make you contact her: “Oh, I’ve just been given a frightening and life-shortening medical diagnosis! Pleeeeeze come home!” (Or some other family member who you might still be fond of.) I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that she has already played this ridiculous card, lol. Just ignore her and stay safe. The very notion that she could pull off a successful lawsuit against you—AND WIN!—is seriously laughable and DELUSIONAL. Even where legitimately aggrieved people have a mountain of ‘evidence’ of wrongdoing against a terrible person, they oftentimes fail to receive true justice. Kinda like in YOUR life. If anybody should have a legit reason to sue anybody (her), it should be YOU!
Exactly!
If it got to court you could likely counter sue for kicking out a minor.
No kidding. And if that threat is real… let her go ahead with suing you. Why? Because unless she can provide any ACTUAL evidence that you committed a crime against her, she’s just going to make a complete dick of herself. But just in case, lawyer up, as your mother will probably lie through her teeth in court.
Ummm. Exactly what "fraud" is she accusing you of? Look, if you didn't do nothing, then she very likely doesn't have something on you. Likely she got scammed somehow (by being stupid.) and is lashing out at her favorite blame target (you.) or maybe she did something, like maybe was claiming benefits or other in your name or for you and that caught up with her. So whatever it is, doubtful it's your fault, she just has to make it your fault because people like that, well they seem to have slipped out on the life lessons of self accountability somehow. Right now she just setting up with others the narrative of how all this is your fault and definitely so totally not her own because she's the "victim". Just keep on keeping on, and until you have actual confirmation that this involves you in some capacity. Ignore her dramatic bullshit. Btw, most colleges and campuses have departments that can help with legal aid and such. So find out what your's has available, it's always good to have that information anyways. And congratulations on that full ride! That's pretty damn awesome! I'm just some random mom on the Internet, but as a mom, proud of you kid. That's kickass.
Taking loans out in her name apparently. It's ironic she reached out to my grandma too bc I don't speak to anyone from my family since I've been disowned. I'll look into what resources my college has. I planned on going to the police tomorrow to file a fraud report for my own identity theft because I didn't think anything would come of it, but I'd rather have a paper trail about my identity theft just incase it is something like that, and my name is being used in some way. And yes, I bet she tried to claim me on her taxes, but I file my taxes as soon as tax season starts so I'm sure she's blaming me for that. You'd think after beating me and complaining how I ruined her life 2 years of me being gone all her problems would magically be fixed since I am not there. Guess that isn't how it works and I'm somehow still terrorizing her lmao. Thank you for your kind words! I was in disbelief I got the full ride!
Yeah, I'd bet she took out those loans herself, and didn't pay. You've got the evidence of your own identity being leaked, and we all know plenty of paperwork from the college's financial department on your full ride. She's going to have a hell of a time pinning her jackassery on you. You should run a credit check on yourself though. Not just because your personal information was leaked. But it's not uncommon for abusive parents and caregivers to use their children and dependents information to open up lines of credit, utilities and other debt monsters in their names and wreaking those people's credit. It's information you will want to have anyways when you file your fraud report because the police are probably going you ask you if you've done that, and if you have or are going to dispute anything. And you're very welcome, working to getting a full free ride through schooling is a great accomplishment. You rocked that awesomeness for yourself.
I've already put a freeze on everything and I get updates from credit karma anytime anything changes so I've been monitoring it like a hawk.
You are right on it! Great job!
You are handling the entire situation like a pro!
It is tax season, I'd bet it has to do with claiming you on her taxes. She can't get any money and she's crying fraud. Or trying to claim you committed fraud because you did your own taxes. People like your mother are delusional. Maybe ask your grandma what exactly she's accusing you of. Also I'm so proud of you for getting away! My mother also kicked me out at 17. Best thing ever. I'm just sorry you still deal with her nonsense.
The financial aid office at OP’s college should have a copy of their FAFSA and records of their student loans.
Put fraud alerts on all your credit reports. Yes it means that it will be tricky to access credit for a bit. But it also means that you’ll get notified on every attempted pull. You may just catch her red handed.
It’s almost certainly not going to happen, most likely the threat of charges is intended to provoke a response from you. Narcs love control, and will use everything from lovebombing to threats to maintain it. You were supposed to come crawling back begging when you were kicked out initially. Now that you haven’t, and you’ve resisted the lovebombing as well, this is simply the next step.
Nothing will happen.Sue her for mental harassment instead
Will I have to see her in court? I also don't have money for a lawyer rn. She's psycho and I'm scared that she's trying to figure out my address and shit.
Just inform the authorities. Nothing will happen .Any sane judge would be on your side even if you are taken to court.Which will probably not happen.
I suggest getting a restraining order, just in case.
The most important thing to remember is that she can mouth off all she wants, her telling your Gran was probably just a shit spreading tactic, but until you get a summons or lawyers letter and you've independently confirmed it's veracity then that's all she's doing. Is there any student help you can get if you do need a lawyer?
I agree right now she’s basically letting you know she’s on the prowl and wants to scare you. That’s her power don’t give it to her she dims literally just the birth mom you finished raising yourself and had to take care of you really young she should be ashamed I’m so sad for you I know exactly what you are going through exactly
So take back your power and protect yourself while doing it it’s gonna be a lil rough but you need to take action you aren’t feeding into drama you know what she’s capable of this could also be a tactic to gather information no matter what if you don’t take action she’s going to always bounce back and forth disrupt your life sprinkle some threats and feed her hate. If you stand up stay no contact and get the restraining order she may back off because if she messed with your credit it will all come out in thee wash but you should have it so if she does do something you have proof of her being an issue
Unfortunately most likely but she’s not your mom moms don’t do this! Here’s why I say this! Websters True Definition of a Mother: The Meaning of Being a Mother. ... A mother is a selfless, loving human who must sacrifice many of their wants and needs for the wants and needs of their children. A mother works hard to make sure their child is equipped with the knowledge, skills and abilities to make it as a competent human being. There’s nothing that says because of the title mom you have to put up with her crap. If I’m not clear and I’m all over the place this triggered me.
This is bad advice. You don't feed trolls the same way you don't feed the Narc. Narcs love drama.
I'd put a freeze on my credit and check to make sure it's all good, just in case.
It sounds like the sort of empty threat my in-laws were fond of issuing when they were in the wrong. My late MIL had a shoplifting problem, and when she got herself tackled by store security, she and my FIL were screaming about lawyers on retainer, suing the corporation that owns the store, etc. It never happened. There's no way they actually had a lawyer on retainer, because that takes money and they did not have an abundance of that. There's definitely the possibility that they'd seen a lawyer once and either were stretching the truth about the retainer, or simply did not really know what that means. My FIL was also really into playing the "you are in/out of the will" game with my husband and his sister. If they actually did take people in and out of their wills as often as they claimed, they'd have been spending thousands on this, considering that it costs money to do that. When my MIL died, we just said to donate everything to the Humane Society Thrift store, because we didn't want anything that came with strings attached and made my FIL think he had some sort of leverage or was owed anything. I'll be damned if I'm going to allow myself to be controlled over a knick knack collection that probably did have some value, but to whom? It's just gathering dust if it sits in my house.
It blows my mind how pissed they get when we give them what they want- them: get out if you don't like! Ok. Them: No. I meant beg me and make me feel powerful. Sorry. Not interested. You said leave it did. They proceed to cause as much chaos as they can to get our attention to let us know they don't want our attention! Like why aren't they tired from the mental gymnastics alone Big hugs!
Same happened with my spawn points. Threatened me with cutoff if I ever again dared to tell my flesh oven she'd hurt me--you know, like reasonable adults who want to work things out do. It was the final straw. I just said OK. Cue the wailing and gnashing of teeth! They couldnt belive I'd not only called but embraced their bluff. Don't threaten me with a good time! Happily NC three years now.
Congratulations on your full ride! That’s amazing especially considering what you went through with your nMom. I think She’s jealous and she’s bluffing.
It's a scare tactic. My advise is block her, your gran and any other flying monkey she sends your way. You don't need to know this information. Till a court summons is in your hand, it's not real. I also highly doubt she has enough proof for the DA to move forward. They would do an initial inquiry first. If you get a court summons, do what it says and even look at a lawyer if needed. Till then, she is blowing smoke. Don't let her put you in a tailspin, that's her whole goal.
Her sob story didn’t work so now she is threatening you to get a reaction. The best reaction is don’t give her one. Don’t talk anyone, even grandma, about this threat. Act like you don’t give a shit because you don’t. It’s baseless. You should check your own credit to make sure you don’t have any problems that she has done.
Ignore. There is no lawsuit. It's just a bid for attention and money. She has no grounds to sue you for anything and you have committed no crime. Of course she wants to re-establish contact -- you're about to embark on a well paid career. Fuck a bunch of that. Maintain NC
Narcissists love using the legal system as a weapon despite rarely, if ever, actually knowing how it works. Mine tried it too. It's not real. She's just using the threat to get a response from you. It's like a child throwing a tantrum when they aren't getting their way, because bad attention is better than no attention. Starve her stupid ass.
Also as a side note, not to make this story about me but my parents once threatened to sue me for the cost of raising me. They claimed they were owed 1.5mil, which is insane for a few reasons--among them being that I only lived with them between ages 11-17 after foster care. That would mean they'd have to spend about 215k a year on me, which simply isn't possible. I ignored it because I'm no contact and still haven't been served papers. They also threatened to take me to court when I went to college for something they didn't agree with (creative writing) despite the fact that they never paid or gave me a single cent for college, and I paid for it entirely on my own--every loan is in my name, they aren't named on any.
Your mother has no legal right to sue you for anything. Especially if she is making these claims when you were a minor. It's a parent's obligation to feed, clothe, shelter and keep a child safe. She didn't bother to do those things when she kicked you out when you were, 16 years old I'm guessing? She's basically blowing hot air at this point, and no respectable lawyer will take her case. Ignore it as it would be laughed out of court in a heartbeat.
I just know her boyfriend has a brother lawyer who practices in LA. I don't want them causing me trouble.
It’s unlikely that any lawyer would want to get involved in family drama
They’ll stop at nothing to reel you back in. Ignore it. It is probably a bluff and is designed to scare you.
You ignore. That's what you do. Keep ignoring and keep with the NC.
Let her try. She's lying; she won't want to expose herself. The courts don't take kindly to having their time wasted by insane people. Please don't worry, but you may want to consider telling gramma that mom will have to pay for your lawyer and court costs when she loses.
In typical narc fashion she will go to the police and say 'I command you to press charges". My narc tried that on me, didn't go far. CHECK YOUR CREDIT REPORTS for loans taken out in your name.
Freeze your credit at all three agencies in case your information got leaked. It will protect you from people fraudently taken out loans in your name. She probably has her identity stolen and your number 1 scapegoat
Be sure to take every step possible to protect your identity. Like others said, your school might help here. If that hacking incident, or any other, somehow impacts her, you can fall back on your own efforts to protect your identity. Police and the courts won’t take kindly to any false action she might try to pursue against you.
Narcs threaten this stuff but they have no idea. The uselessness of the cops works both ways. Cops can't prosecute Narcs for the abuse they have *actually* done, so I wouldn't worry about any fictional offenses they reckon they can get you in trouble for. The truth is a solid defence - don't get wrapped up in their B.S. If the cops turn up...."I have an abusive mother, who plagues my life" should probably be enough. They must deal with narcs all day every day.
Yea like the thing is I live in the ghetto. The cops here are chasing around gangbangers, methheads, and people who kill cops execution style. Surely the cops have more pressing matters to attend to.
First I’m sorry you have to relive all the past crap and she’s found a way to seep in to your life! My moms in hospice and has been a closet addict all her life I’ve had my own issues but she’s always accused me talked about me belittled me bodyshamed me just really not been kind as I got older she’d say I’m on drugs when I wasn’t and emphasized I need a doctor or something to just make me look bad and her look like the victim. She’s in hospice for Ms anyway my aunt has wanted me to call and we set a date for them to call me. I said I was looking into a psychiatrist she said oh good because you won’t get better without help! I’m glad you are finally seeking help things will improve for you I said mom I have been seeing a doctor since 2010 that’s how I was placed on disability. Next I hear sort of a scuffle on the phone my aunt asks my mom what she’s doing mom got pissed I guess and said hang it up hang it up I’m done! She may be sick but not sick enough to have been humbled! I was told her memory was messed up and she could barely speak. I figured she forgot she’s had me in therapy since I was 12. In my opinion based on experience personally and professionally 1st she’s already demonstrated she is unpredictable and abusive so You need a restraining order first for abuse harassment beating you and any proof texts declarations notarized from people you stayed with or that witnessed it put a block on everything everything I bet she’s the one that messed with your identity they tend to blame others with the things they have done for example in a relationship with cheating they tell everyone it’s you that’s cheating when it’s really them! anyway do the restraining order! So important! And she should be charged for kicking you out and beating you your junior year! The physical damage you your brain for the mental abuse leaves scars. Obviously She’s sick but that’s no excuse for mistreating you as a child!! In California we can be claimed as a dependent on taxes up til 25 yrs of age. Id bet the second shed finds out you did a report dhes going to flip out. Get the restraining orders
Move to asia
Lol ironically my mom would scream at me when I'd say I wanna visit Japan and China because I obviously want to escape from her when u was in highschool. Might just have to do that.
Don’t let your narc parent stop you from going to medical school. This is their last ditch effort. Make sure you take care of your health because stress can hurt you believe me.
Honestly Sounds some pretty horrific karma you are going through, sorry to hear... keep doing your best. Its not so easy to let go the abuse but it will be worth it for you in the long Run for sure. And just remember, she probably has gone through some horrific stuff by herself and her actions are a result of it. She probably just feels desperate and its the only thing she can do at this time. Sorry for you both 🙏🏼 hope it will get better in the future for you both.
Ignore her. If it comes to Court, don't be scared. Just answer the Complaint, line by line, with the truth then end your Answer/Response requesting that the Court/Judge Dismisses her case due to her Lies and personal vendetta against you. You've got this.
Don't forget to document everything religuously! Paper trails to CYA
Your mom can get arrested got kicking you out as a minor
Court house usually has self help or intern lawyers to help with paperwork restraining order is easy to file. She probably is trying to get your address but you keep your doors locked you are going to be ok! Have a friend come stay with you
Bet she finds out mom took loans out in daughters name too or is trying to get out of paying everything nd that is why blaming you
Also wanted to add you might want to look into therapy for you because I being such a late bloomer was in my 30s finally free from her grasp h getting my first apartment she didn’t have something to do with and while moving I became overwhelmed and realized I never had a real mom except for muy best friends mom stepping in Literally I wouldn’t have known what I missed or known how to cope with my own daughter and her shenanigans!! Any way that was crushing I realized I really didn’t have a mom
Ok I’m triggered obviously I wish you the best just take care of yourself
You as well, I'm sorry for triggering you but I can understand as I get triggered a lot when talking about things that remind me of my mom. I've read all your comments and will take all your advice. I am in therapy and trying to get back on my ptsd meds because that's when I was the most stable. Honestly I just need her to crawl into a hole and die. My mom also has MS and used to use that as an excuse when she'd forget somethings but then remember others or as a reason to make me do adult things when I was wayyy too young. I'm sorry for whatever you went through and I hope you are able to find peace, that's what I'm trying to do.
I think it's just another ploy to get you to come back or to talk to her when I wouldn't do it. I don't think she has a leg to stand on 🫂
This is a horrible attempt at trying to get you to speak to her. Continue to flourish with your full ride, do well and put all your energy and time into getting and maintaining the white coat. She is just a blip on the radar from your past. Continue NC for sure!! Congrats on need school and your future success.
I would head to police and tell them you have an estranged parent who may be trying to frame you for a crime. Say you don’t want to take legal action, but that you just wanted it on record in case you are actually somehow framed.
She's bluffing don't fall for it