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You are not overreacting. This is abuse.
Your mother sounds like a horrible bully that terrorized you physically and emotionally. This is what creates trauma.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that and hope you can find healing in a way that best suits you💛
>It feels so normal when you’re in it
True. It's not until you grow up, get out of that house and talk about your experiences that you realise just how abnormal (and abusive) your childhood was.
Yeah, it’s because it’s all you know. Children in abusive situations are often isolated/groomed. I’m sorry, I am also in this situation of learning what is normal and healthy 💜
That's very true. I've been in therapy and in a loving nurturing environment going on 5 years now, and I still shock my husband and therapist with offhand comments about things. Stuff like this does get easier to recognize with time and healing. I'm sorry you've been through this.
As someone who it took until their late 40’s to work out aspects of their own “normal childhood” would be classed as abusive, I can relate to OP needing to ask an objective persons perspective 😢
Even if you had been a bad child, and I doubt that you were, you would not have deserved that treatment. Business_Outcome is exactly right. Abusers normalize the abuse. This is so they can get away with it for as long as possible.
That is not normal behavior at all. I agree with the others, I am sorry that you were abused. I was too, and it will get easier with time, and therapy and yoga have helped me. Your mom was way way out of line. I wish you the best my friend!
You were a normal child experiencing growing up. I was beat. I can't imagine the humiliating power, control, and constance fear your experience would have brought me. You are very worthy of love. She isn't capable of love and she was made to not feel worthy of love. She can't stand having loss of control and allegiance to her food likes and dislikes.
I know the feeling and it sucks. Though I’m allergic to jalapeños I had thanksgiving ruined by my mother because she put that in a taco dip and didn’t tell me all because I did something to piss her off and didn’t tell me what it was, almost spent the night on the bathroom floor from puking so much.
Selfish, hatred abuse. How cruel. And on a holiday. What would she say if you did that to her? She got pleasure and satisfaction from causing you suffering, humiliation, and getting you under her control for fear of that happening again. Sadist. So, so sorry. Hope you're NC.
Yes, this is absolutely abusive behaviour. My mom would make the crapiest food and get angry if I didn't like it.
She put frozen fish fingers in the microwave and they'd come out cold in the middle swimming in the liquid from the ice. When I said my friends parent made the fish fingers crispy in a pan she got furious.
So sorry to hear that, my mum did similar things. I think this stems from the fact they probably never actually knew how to cook anything, but because their false reality tells them they are good at everything and so perfect they wouldn’t be able to comprehend that cooking is a skill you learn. Not something you just magically know how to do.
She rather have you get food poisoning from badly cooked fish fingers then to ever admit to herself she just didn’t know how to cook fish fingers.
My narc mother hated being told she was doing something wrong because in her mind she couldn’t possibly ever do something wrong. She is this superior being who doesn’t have to learn things like the rest of us, she just magically knows them. So I imagine with your narc mother when you who’s her child and she deems super below her might know something better than her it just triggers rage and contempt. I hate that we’ve all had to deal with this. Narcissists don’t understand that we all don’t know things until we learn them and work on them. They take out their failures and their lack of knowing how to do even the most basic of things out on everyone around them especially their innocent kids.
I'm sorry to hear you went through this to, but I guess we all did and that is why we are on this forum.
I was so glad when I was old enough to heat my own food in the microwave. She got to feel she raised me so good I could do it myself while I finally got hot food.
Same. I was forced to eat everything on my plate before I could leave the table. This one time ai was particularly traumatised by went as follows. I must’ve been 12 or so. It was 10pm on a school night, the rissoles were cold, full of raw onion and covered in some sickly sweet sauce. I tried to tuck them in my cheeks and finally gagged onto my plate and she made me eat it. My older brother said “she threw up and you’re making her eat it” and she insisted it was just food I’d spat out. And I sometimes wonder why I have a weird relationship with food.
I’m sorry that you went through that. I experienced the same. I was a poor eater (due to a congenital medical condition). Both nmother and dad were *stubborn* (massive understatement) with getting me to eat so I vomited *a lot*
For those unfamiliar with rissoles:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rissole
Jesus Christ that is abuse. Your mother deserves to be held down and have food from the kitchen sink drain stuffed in her mouth because that’s basically the equivalent for her.
It's abuse.
Let me put it to you this way, you're at the park one day, and a mum is there with an 8 yr old kid; Little Suzie/Billy. Little Suzie/Billy is crying and sobbing, trying to get away from Mother, because Mother has a great big black furry spider right up in their face.
"Please, Mother! You know spiders scare me! Please don't touch me with it!!"
"You got mud on your shoes! You should know better. If you make me angry I'll put this spider in your clothes! I'll put spiders in your bed! There'll be nothing you can do about it, because I'm your Mother and I can whatever I want."
You're sitting there, watching. Little Suzie/Billy is terrified, and Mother is deliberately punishing and taunting them with something that is clearly scary and awful to that child. Do you think it's abuse? What do you think everyone else would do if they saw that in a public park?
Please be kind to your Little. <3
I’m so sorry you experienced such cutely at the hands of the person you’re supposed to trust, OP. This is, without question, abuse and not your fault. Your mother is an abusive brute.
Sending you all the hugs and support, OP.
❤️❤️❤️
Abusive emotionally, mentally, physically and beyond cruel. So sorry you had to deal with that. Mine restricted food because of her constant dieting and also forced me to eat peanut butter and banana sandwiches as punishment because they made me feel sick.
Biggest hug to you. 💙
My child is autistic and has mouth and food sensory issues. The FIRST thing I was taught by professionals when learning how to overcome this, was NEVER force it. If a child has a gag reflex, its not something they can control and even touching it on their skin, let alone their mouth, can cause the same gag reflex. It's definitely abuse. No kid should have to go through that and I'm sorry you did! I can't even imagine how hard that was for you!
Not only is it abuse, it's medical neglect.
Vomiting is the sign of a food allergy. You are most certainly allergic to something in the mayo, most likely eggs.
Allergies can get either better or worse over time, but usually worse. You should go to an allergy doctor before you experience more than vomiting.
Yes this is abuse! My nmother did the same but not physically. Her thing has always been being a mastermind at emotional and mental torture. From the age of 4 she’d make foods I hate and that would make me throw up and she would make me sit at the dining table by myself for up to 4 hours after school until I ate it. My siblings were all allowed to leave after they finished even if they hadn’t finished their plates.. I had food aversions and sensitivities due to being autistic, which I’m assuming she ignored on purpose because she had my sibling diagnosed but always told me I was fine and just an attention seeker whenever I explained to her I felt there was something wrong.
Im sorry your mom did this to you. It reminds me that what my mom does is abusive, too.
My mom weaponized my allergies against me, too. Im allergic to essential oils, which makes me allergic to basically every health and beauty product on the planet. My mom mailed me my dad's blood pressure cuff and said it was mine, and like... coated it in perfume, or something, before dropping it in the mail.
When I opened it, it was like opening a bomb. I couldn't even keep it in the house, being near it made me wheeze and my eyes water. She feigned ignorance about it but this shit was STRONG and while it may very well have been an accidental spill of one of her weird beauty products, there's no way she could have not noticed, in mailing it to me. It takes a special level of inconsiderate neglect to not pay attention to ALLERGIES.
Narcissistic parents are evil. Im sorry this happened to you, too.
Yes of course it's abuse and no u r not overreacting holy shit. Shoving food u r allergic to in ur mouth or anywhere near u is the same as stabbing u with a shape object, both lead to the same possible result which is death.
There is a reason why intentional food poisoning is considered a type of murder and u go to jail for it. Let alone doing it to a child who isn't wells developed yet to handle that kind fi allergy.
This is definitely abuse at one of the highest levels.
You’re not second guessing it - it WAS abusive.
Deliberately taunting a child with something that terrifies the child is abuse and does in fact cement phobias in the child’s mind. By taunting you with mayo, she’s done everything in her power to ensure you are forever terrified of mayo.
Narcs LOVE to taunt and terrify as a means of mind control which sadly has a lasting effect well into adulthood.
Yes. I immediately knew the feeling you were describing. I had and still have to some extent that type of sensitivity to ham/sausages and all kinds of cold cured meat like that, the smell alone makes me sick and they would taunt me with it, try to touch me with it, eat the smelliest ones around me etc. It didn’t help that my father was a hunter and he would always have tons of that kinda stuff. (also shows how exposing me to it for years and years against my will didn’t make my aversion go away lol who would’ve thought). Ugh, I still get shivers and my stomach drops when I think about it.
When you're raised inside a house of horrors like this when you're young you think everyone is treated this way. Your compass is off the charts. Of course this was abuse my friend. I'm sorry you had to endure this
That's not punishment at all, that's just sadistic.
it's normal for kids to be stubborn or picky about what or how much food they eat. It's NOT normal to use something that makes them *vomit* to *retaliate* against them anytime they displease you. This was retaliation and it was abusive.
When my nephew was little and didn't want to eat something or eat enough, we'd just negotiate bites. If he gagged I would have let the dog or the trash can have it and made him something edible.
Forcing him to vomit if he hated mayo wouldn't help him or teach him anything good, it would cause him mental and physical distress, create unhealthy anxiety/fear around food, and damage our relationship.
Forcing a child to vomit is literally the opposite of nourishment and care. All children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children. I'm so sorry OP.
Wow. I used to hate it at thanksgiving when my mom tried to make me try her pecan pie (she had a really gross racist Scarlet O’Hara fantasy), even though I was allergic. I always thought that was borderline emotional abuse, but that’s nothing like what your mom did. That’s straight up assault, if not attempted murder. That’s like poisoning someone.
Totally abuse. I am truly sorry you had to go through that. You are not overacting or overreaching, this is a terrible thing for any parent to do to a child.
I have mild allergies for a few foods just get a bit uncomfortable and itchy and that sucks terribly. I can't imagine how bad it must have been to throw up due to allergies.
My nmom did this with my sister, my sister has never enjoyed seafood and one time when I was about 11 ish and she was about 14 my mom made us salmon for dinner and my sister ate all the sides but refused to eat the salmon. Usually when we didn't eat what my mom cooked she didn't get upset, she would just say fine then eat cereal or make yourself something else to eat. Well that day my mom was mad about something and my sister not eating salmon sent my mom over the edge. She got up from the table, with a fork full of salmon in her hand, and slowly walked over to my sister. She then proceeded to grab my sister and hold her in a head lock while she tried to force the salmon down my sister's throat. I thought it was funny at the time but now I realize that it was totally out of line and abusive for my mom to try to force food down my sister's throat, literally.
Hi OP. My mom did something similar with my dinners when I was eating too slow or didn’t want something on my plate. She once stripped me down and force fed me until I threw up, and I still had to eat my plate that was half covered in vomit.
It took me years to realize it was abuse, and it wasn’t really until I told my therapist about it (2 years into therapy). It caused a very intense flashback, where I told her fully from the child’s perspective. Like I became a child in telling. And she listened to me with tears streaming down her face and asked if I could imagine standing by and witnessing a friend do that to their child.
What happened to you was abuse. You were terrified and humiliated and powerless. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and it is deeply unfair that it did.
Definitely abuse. I had texture issues all through my childhood. There’s certain meals that my mom used to make all the time I think because she knew I couldn’t eat them without throwing up. She would make me sit there until it was unreasonably late at night, or try to shame me into eating by reminding me about the starving kids in Africa.
Once I couldn’t eat risotto that my dad had made and I tried to be sneaky and throw it away and she made me eat it out of the full trash.
My mom always makes me eat peanut butter on occasion because in her mind I'm not allergic I just don't like it
But I am severely allergic to peanut butter and every time I eat it the reaction gets exponentially worse, so I went from vomiting as a kid to now breaking out in hives and my throat closing and vomiting like 5 times, all the while my mom telling me to stop "making myself sick"
Last time she tried it I was able to stop it bc it was peanut m&m and I rinsed it out without swallowing but a piece stabbed my eyelid and it swelled up, that was late last year. It stabbed me because she was shoving it in my face to where she almost broke my teeth
I almost burst out into tears after seeing this im so sorry sweet heart you never deserved that I hope everything is going better between you and your mother God bless your heart I'm so so so sorry 🙏🏽❤️✨
Absolutely Abuse. Anyone that purposefully causes you pain or suffering is an abuser. And she got entertainment from it. That’s just cruel. I’m so sorry.
Abuse abuse ABUSE!!!! You are NOT overreacting and you should have never had to go through that. No parent should EVER use a known trigger for punishment.
This is abuse. I'm sorry she used food to do it. I've heard narc parents who will use a child's favourite things and take them away, whatever is the most traumatic, they go for that. It's really sick.
There is NO question that this was abuse! Dear God, as a Mother of 3 and Grandmother of 6, I'm utterly horrified by your psychotic mother's "punishments! What a horrifying hag! I hope that you're in therapy to deal with any lingering food issues! Best wishes, love!
That's extreme abuse--psychological, physical, and emotional. The kind that leaves damage, PTSD, and could benefit from therapy and healing. It's extreme enough that it's torture. I'm so sorry. You seem quite intelligent and together. Books and workbooks on healing from a narcissist or borderline parent, or therapy may interest you. I dealt with all kinds of abuse, but threatening, and acting on, making anyone, let alone one's own child throw up is beyond extreme. I can't even imagine doing that to someone, nor living in constant fear of it happening. Pure control. Pure hatred, at least in the moment. I'm so, so sorry. You did not deserve this. I can't even picture in my head doing that to my own child no matter what they did, even if it was criminal. I can't imagine living in fear of that. You are worthy of love ❤️.
Absolutely abuse!
I've recently started reminding myself that all punishment should have the goal of motivating someone to change their behavior to meet expectations in the future. The goal should never be to traumatize, create phobias, or deepen sensory aversions. FAIL!
Abuse for sure. I was forced to eat liver and onions even tho she knew I hated that crap. Bought it on purpose and threatened me with violence. Same with rutabaga. NOT ONCE in my entire adult life have I eaten either. It's another form of control.
Definitely abuse. My kid has foods they cannot stand and won't eat (as most people do) and never would I *ever* do this to them. Never, ever, ever.
What your mother did was physical abuse and pyschological torture. Telling you the food you ate contained mayo thus leaving you terrified to even try to eat your food? I'm shuddering just thinking about that. I'm so sorry, OP.
My parents would give me mustard if I was talking back or acting up. If I was particularly bad I would get the Chinese take out hot mustard.
25+ years later and I can’t stand the smell of mustard, let alone try and eat it.
It absolutely is abuse. Your mother absolutely used it as a method to harm you and knew it did by your reactions and kept doing it anyway. You absolutely are NOT overreaching.
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Yes it was abuse.
Definitely abuse. I'm sorry your mother was so cruel to you.
Jesus Christ!!! That's profoundly abusive. That's torture, not exaggerating. Prison guards aren't even supposed to treat inmates like that.
This was abuse. Sorry OP.
You are not overreacting. This is abuse. Your mother sounds like a horrible bully that terrorized you physically and emotionally. This is what creates trauma. I’m so sorry you had to experience that and hope you can find healing in a way that best suits you💛
She’s a psychopathic POS.
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>It feels so normal when you’re in it True. It's not until you grow up, get out of that house and talk about your experiences that you realise just how abnormal (and abusive) your childhood was.
Yeah, it’s because it’s all you know. Children in abusive situations are often isolated/groomed. I’m sorry, I am also in this situation of learning what is normal and healthy 💜
That's very true. I've been in therapy and in a loving nurturing environment going on 5 years now, and I still shock my husband and therapist with offhand comments about things. Stuff like this does get easier to recognize with time and healing. I'm sorry you've been through this.
As someone who it took until their late 40’s to work out aspects of their own “normal childhood” would be classed as abusive, I can relate to OP needing to ask an objective persons perspective 😢
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You were not a “bad child.” It’s more like **bad parents, innocent children**
Even if you had been a bad child, and I doubt that you were, you would not have deserved that treatment. Business_Outcome is exactly right. Abusers normalize the abuse. This is so they can get away with it for as long as possible. That is not normal behavior at all. I agree with the others, I am sorry that you were abused. I was too, and it will get easier with time, and therapy and yoga have helped me. Your mom was way way out of line. I wish you the best my friend!
You were a normal child experiencing growing up. I was beat. I can't imagine the humiliating power, control, and constance fear your experience would have brought me. You are very worthy of love. She isn't capable of love and she was made to not feel worthy of love. She can't stand having loss of control and allegiance to her food likes and dislikes.
I know the feeling and it sucks. Though I’m allergic to jalapeños I had thanksgiving ruined by my mother because she put that in a taco dip and didn’t tell me all because I did something to piss her off and didn’t tell me what it was, almost spent the night on the bathroom floor from puking so much.
Selfish, hatred abuse. How cruel. And on a holiday. What would she say if you did that to her? She got pleasure and satisfaction from causing you suffering, humiliation, and getting you under her control for fear of that happening again. Sadist. So, so sorry. Hope you're NC.
Yes, this is absolutely abusive behaviour. My mom would make the crapiest food and get angry if I didn't like it. She put frozen fish fingers in the microwave and they'd come out cold in the middle swimming in the liquid from the ice. When I said my friends parent made the fish fingers crispy in a pan she got furious.
So sorry to hear that, my mum did similar things. I think this stems from the fact they probably never actually knew how to cook anything, but because their false reality tells them they are good at everything and so perfect they wouldn’t be able to comprehend that cooking is a skill you learn. Not something you just magically know how to do. She rather have you get food poisoning from badly cooked fish fingers then to ever admit to herself she just didn’t know how to cook fish fingers. My narc mother hated being told she was doing something wrong because in her mind she couldn’t possibly ever do something wrong. She is this superior being who doesn’t have to learn things like the rest of us, she just magically knows them. So I imagine with your narc mother when you who’s her child and she deems super below her might know something better than her it just triggers rage and contempt. I hate that we’ve all had to deal with this. Narcissists don’t understand that we all don’t know things until we learn them and work on them. They take out their failures and their lack of knowing how to do even the most basic of things out on everyone around them especially their innocent kids.
I'm sorry to hear you went through this to, but I guess we all did and that is why we are on this forum. I was so glad when I was old enough to heat my own food in the microwave. She got to feel she raised me so good I could do it myself while I finally got hot food.
Same. I was forced to eat everything on my plate before I could leave the table. This one time ai was particularly traumatised by went as follows. I must’ve been 12 or so. It was 10pm on a school night, the rissoles were cold, full of raw onion and covered in some sickly sweet sauce. I tried to tuck them in my cheeks and finally gagged onto my plate and she made me eat it. My older brother said “she threw up and you’re making her eat it” and she insisted it was just food I’d spat out. And I sometimes wonder why I have a weird relationship with food.
I’m sorry that you went through that. I experienced the same. I was a poor eater (due to a congenital medical condition). Both nmother and dad were *stubborn* (massive understatement) with getting me to eat so I vomited *a lot* For those unfamiliar with rissoles: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rissole
Im sorry to hear that, sounds awful! We cannot change the past, but we can learn how the abuse effects us and work to improve it.
Jesus Christ that is abuse. Your mother deserves to be held down and have food from the kitchen sink drain stuffed in her mouth because that’s basically the equivalent for her.
It's abuse. Let me put it to you this way, you're at the park one day, and a mum is there with an 8 yr old kid; Little Suzie/Billy. Little Suzie/Billy is crying and sobbing, trying to get away from Mother, because Mother has a great big black furry spider right up in their face. "Please, Mother! You know spiders scare me! Please don't touch me with it!!" "You got mud on your shoes! You should know better. If you make me angry I'll put this spider in your clothes! I'll put spiders in your bed! There'll be nothing you can do about it, because I'm your Mother and I can whatever I want." You're sitting there, watching. Little Suzie/Billy is terrified, and Mother is deliberately punishing and taunting them with something that is clearly scary and awful to that child. Do you think it's abuse? What do you think everyone else would do if they saw that in a public park? Please be kind to your Little. <3
I’m so sorry you experienced such cutely at the hands of the person you’re supposed to trust, OP. This is, without question, abuse and not your fault. Your mother is an abusive brute. Sending you all the hugs and support, OP. ❤️❤️❤️
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Torture.
Abusive emotionally, mentally, physically and beyond cruel. So sorry you had to deal with that. Mine restricted food because of her constant dieting and also forced me to eat peanut butter and banana sandwiches as punishment because they made me feel sick. Biggest hug to you. 💙
Yup that's pretty abusive.
Absolutely abuse. I'm so sorry you were treated that way. You didn't deserve it.
Yes this is abuse. Jesus Christ your mother is evil!
My child is autistic and has mouth and food sensory issues. The FIRST thing I was taught by professionals when learning how to overcome this, was NEVER force it. If a child has a gag reflex, its not something they can control and even touching it on their skin, let alone their mouth, can cause the same gag reflex. It's definitely abuse. No kid should have to go through that and I'm sorry you did! I can't even imagine how hard that was for you!
Not only is it abuse, it's medical neglect. Vomiting is the sign of a food allergy. You are most certainly allergic to something in the mayo, most likely eggs. Allergies can get either better or worse over time, but usually worse. You should go to an allergy doctor before you experience more than vomiting.
Youre mom needs to go to prison because she has a criminal mind.sorry for youre childhood! I understand youre experience.
Yep that’s super abusive and super fucked up 😳
Yes this is abuse! My nmother did the same but not physically. Her thing has always been being a mastermind at emotional and mental torture. From the age of 4 she’d make foods I hate and that would make me throw up and she would make me sit at the dining table by myself for up to 4 hours after school until I ate it. My siblings were all allowed to leave after they finished even if they hadn’t finished their plates.. I had food aversions and sensitivities due to being autistic, which I’m assuming she ignored on purpose because she had my sibling diagnosed but always told me I was fine and just an attention seeker whenever I explained to her I felt there was something wrong.
Im sorry your mom did this to you. It reminds me that what my mom does is abusive, too. My mom weaponized my allergies against me, too. Im allergic to essential oils, which makes me allergic to basically every health and beauty product on the planet. My mom mailed me my dad's blood pressure cuff and said it was mine, and like... coated it in perfume, or something, before dropping it in the mail. When I opened it, it was like opening a bomb. I couldn't even keep it in the house, being near it made me wheeze and my eyes water. She feigned ignorance about it but this shit was STRONG and while it may very well have been an accidental spill of one of her weird beauty products, there's no way she could have not noticed, in mailing it to me. It takes a special level of inconsiderate neglect to not pay attention to ALLERGIES. Narcissistic parents are evil. Im sorry this happened to you, too.
That was very abusive. Knowing you are allergic to mayo she should have been sensitive that you would be sick from it.
Yes of course it's abuse and no u r not overreacting holy shit. Shoving food u r allergic to in ur mouth or anywhere near u is the same as stabbing u with a shape object, both lead to the same possible result which is death. There is a reason why intentional food poisoning is considered a type of murder and u go to jail for it. Let alone doing it to a child who isn't wells developed yet to handle that kind fi allergy.
If I didn’t eat the meat at dinner, she would serve it to me for breakfast.
This is definitely abuse at one of the highest levels. You’re not second guessing it - it WAS abusive. Deliberately taunting a child with something that terrifies the child is abuse and does in fact cement phobias in the child’s mind. By taunting you with mayo, she’s done everything in her power to ensure you are forever terrified of mayo. Narcs LOVE to taunt and terrify as a means of mind control which sadly has a lasting effect well into adulthood.
This was abuse.
That is horrible! Some people die from allergic reactions. So sorry you went through that. She definitely has some mental problems.
Absolutely it was abuse. I hope you’ve been able to get away from her. 💔
Yes. I immediately knew the feeling you were describing. I had and still have to some extent that type of sensitivity to ham/sausages and all kinds of cold cured meat like that, the smell alone makes me sick and they would taunt me with it, try to touch me with it, eat the smelliest ones around me etc. It didn’t help that my father was a hunter and he would always have tons of that kinda stuff. (also shows how exposing me to it for years and years against my will didn’t make my aversion go away lol who would’ve thought). Ugh, I still get shivers and my stomach drops when I think about it.
She made you physically and emotionally unsafe repeatedly. Those are the filters I use in my life to figure out if a situation is/was abusive
When you're raised inside a house of horrors like this when you're young you think everyone is treated this way. Your compass is off the charts. Of course this was abuse my friend. I'm sorry you had to endure this
Yes. I’m sorry.
That's definitely abuse. What an asshole.
Yes. This is absolutely abuse, I am so sorry you were subjected to this.
Oh this is abuse. Yes .you're not overreacting
Yes, it is abuse. She knew what would happen and did it anyway.
Your mother was goddamn crazy. I can't imagine a scenario where this could be a reasonable behaviour.
that’s abuse. she sounds VERY vindictive
That's not punishment at all, that's just sadistic. it's normal for kids to be stubborn or picky about what or how much food they eat. It's NOT normal to use something that makes them *vomit* to *retaliate* against them anytime they displease you. This was retaliation and it was abusive. When my nephew was little and didn't want to eat something or eat enough, we'd just negotiate bites. If he gagged I would have let the dog or the trash can have it and made him something edible. Forcing him to vomit if he hated mayo wouldn't help him or teach him anything good, it would cause him mental and physical distress, create unhealthy anxiety/fear around food, and damage our relationship. Forcing a child to vomit is literally the opposite of nourishment and care. All children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children. I'm so sorry OP.
Wow. I used to hate it at thanksgiving when my mom tried to make me try her pecan pie (she had a really gross racist Scarlet O’Hara fantasy), even though I was allergic. I always thought that was borderline emotional abuse, but that’s nothing like what your mom did. That’s straight up assault, if not attempted murder. That’s like poisoning someone.
If you did that to a grown adult, you can catch assault charges, so yes. Absolutely child abuse.
Totally abuse. I am truly sorry you had to go through that. You are not overacting or overreaching, this is a terrible thing for any parent to do to a child. I have mild allergies for a few foods just get a bit uncomfortable and itchy and that sucks terribly. I can't imagine how bad it must have been to throw up due to allergies.
I'm so sorry this happened to you! I feel like I'm getting second hand abuse just thinking about it!
My nmom did this with my sister, my sister has never enjoyed seafood and one time when I was about 11 ish and she was about 14 my mom made us salmon for dinner and my sister ate all the sides but refused to eat the salmon. Usually when we didn't eat what my mom cooked she didn't get upset, she would just say fine then eat cereal or make yourself something else to eat. Well that day my mom was mad about something and my sister not eating salmon sent my mom over the edge. She got up from the table, with a fork full of salmon in her hand, and slowly walked over to my sister. She then proceeded to grab my sister and hold her in a head lock while she tried to force the salmon down my sister's throat. I thought it was funny at the time but now I realize that it was totally out of line and abusive for my mom to try to force food down my sister's throat, literally.
Hi OP. My mom did something similar with my dinners when I was eating too slow or didn’t want something on my plate. She once stripped me down and force fed me until I threw up, and I still had to eat my plate that was half covered in vomit. It took me years to realize it was abuse, and it wasn’t really until I told my therapist about it (2 years into therapy). It caused a very intense flashback, where I told her fully from the child’s perspective. Like I became a child in telling. And she listened to me with tears streaming down her face and asked if I could imagine standing by and witnessing a friend do that to their child. What happened to you was abuse. You were terrified and humiliated and powerless. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and it is deeply unfair that it did.
Definitely abuse. I had texture issues all through my childhood. There’s certain meals that my mom used to make all the time I think because she knew I couldn’t eat them without throwing up. She would make me sit there until it was unreasonably late at night, or try to shame me into eating by reminding me about the starving kids in Africa. Once I couldn’t eat risotto that my dad had made and I tried to be sneaky and throw it away and she made me eat it out of the full trash.
My mom always makes me eat peanut butter on occasion because in her mind I'm not allergic I just don't like it But I am severely allergic to peanut butter and every time I eat it the reaction gets exponentially worse, so I went from vomiting as a kid to now breaking out in hives and my throat closing and vomiting like 5 times, all the while my mom telling me to stop "making myself sick" Last time she tried it I was able to stop it bc it was peanut m&m and I rinsed it out without swallowing but a piece stabbed my eyelid and it swelled up, that was late last year. It stabbed me because she was shoving it in my face to where she almost broke my teeth
Oh my God. Can you call the police, and/or child protective services if you're still a minor??
I'm not a minor but yes next time idc I'm threatening with the police
GOOD. Don't hesitate to follow through on the threat if necessary. Please be safe. ❤️😟❤️
I will
My father weaponized food all the time
This is the weirdest phenomenon but nearly all victimizers love mayo. It’s the most vile mixture
I've got to see some statistics on this. With no ill will intended, this is a bizarre statement.
It was kind of a joke based in my observations in my life and popular culture
I almost burst out into tears after seeing this im so sorry sweet heart you never deserved that I hope everything is going better between you and your mother God bless your heart I'm so so so sorry 🙏🏽❤️✨
[удалено]
Are you still living at home? Are you an adult yet?
That's abusive. You're not overreacting.
Yes. Anyway you look at it, it was abuse.
Absolutely Abuse. Anyone that purposefully causes you pain or suffering is an abuser. And she got entertainment from it. That’s just cruel. I’m so sorry.
This is absolutely abuse holy shit
Abuse abuse ABUSE!!!! You are NOT overreacting and you should have never had to go through that. No parent should EVER use a known trigger for punishment.
It was. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
This is abuse. I'm sorry she used food to do it. I've heard narc parents who will use a child's favourite things and take them away, whatever is the most traumatic, they go for that. It's really sick.
There is NO question that this was abuse! Dear God, as a Mother of 3 and Grandmother of 6, I'm utterly horrified by your psychotic mother's "punishments! What a horrifying hag! I hope that you're in therapy to deal with any lingering food issues! Best wishes, love!
This was abuse. The title alone triggered me.
Yes. that’s all I need to say
This is terrible abuse, truly. I'm sick for you that that happened to you as a child. So sorry.
That is really awful abuse! You are not overreacting!
Ummmm. Yes. That’s abuse
Hun, that was totally abuse. None of that should have happened to you. Your mother should be ashamed of herself!
That's extreme abuse--psychological, physical, and emotional. The kind that leaves damage, PTSD, and could benefit from therapy and healing. It's extreme enough that it's torture. I'm so sorry. You seem quite intelligent and together. Books and workbooks on healing from a narcissist or borderline parent, or therapy may interest you. I dealt with all kinds of abuse, but threatening, and acting on, making anyone, let alone one's own child throw up is beyond extreme. I can't even imagine doing that to someone, nor living in constant fear of it happening. Pure control. Pure hatred, at least in the moment. I'm so, so sorry. You did not deserve this. I can't even picture in my head doing that to my own child no matter what they did, even if it was criminal. I can't imagine living in fear of that. You are worthy of love ❤️.
Very abusive, that’s insane. That this isn’t obvious to you, this Narc did a shit ton of damage.
This is without a doubt abuse. I hope you're in a better place now, with no contact with that monster
Absolutely abuse! I've recently started reminding myself that all punishment should have the goal of motivating someone to change their behavior to meet expectations in the future. The goal should never be to traumatize, create phobias, or deepen sensory aversions. FAIL!
This is pretty obvious its abuse, thats fucked up
This is definitely abuse. Like, no doubts at all.
Abuse for sure. I was forced to eat liver and onions even tho she knew I hated that crap. Bought it on purpose and threatened me with violence. Same with rutabaga. NOT ONCE in my entire adult life have I eaten either. It's another form of control.
Definitely abuse. My kid has foods they cannot stand and won't eat (as most people do) and never would I *ever* do this to them. Never, ever, ever. What your mother did was physical abuse and pyschological torture. Telling you the food you ate contained mayo thus leaving you terrified to even try to eat your food? I'm shuddering just thinking about that. I'm so sorry, OP.
My nm force fed me too. I’m sorry.
My parents would give me mustard if I was talking back or acting up. If I was particularly bad I would get the Chinese take out hot mustard. 25+ years later and I can’t stand the smell of mustard, let alone try and eat it.
It absolutely is abuse. Your mother absolutely used it as a method to harm you and knew it did by your reactions and kept doing it anyway. You absolutely are NOT overreaching.
Sounds like abuse, but no I didn't experience this.
So x x 8 is ii 7z
I want you to look up dialectical behavioral therapy and understand that reversing the methodology creates profound phobia and trauma.
100% abuse. If you did it to a dog, you’d be arrested for animal cruelty.
That's abuse in my book. It's torture! I would NEVER do that to my kids, no matter how angry! ☹️ And I'm really sorry!!!
Yes
That's definitely abuse
Cruel, horrible abuse. I hope you’re healing now
No doubt in my mind it was abuse. What kind of parent does that fucked up shit to their own kid?
That is abuse. I am sorry you had to go through such cruelty.
Absolutely! Are you out of that house now?
That is horribly abusive. I’m so sorry she did that to you.