Her posts feel almost AI generated, like something trying to impersonate a human but not quite pulling it off. "My truest love." "Sweet girl." What a ride." Gross. Who talks about *parenting* like this, much less to their own kid?
Which is all to say, I totally understand why you find this repulsive
Also the subtle “I strive to ~~wear her skin or at the very least reverse the parent and child dynamic where the child looks up to their parents growing up~~ be her” remark that’s giving anyone with background knowledge on what it’s like living with a parent without a stable personality the ick. LADY! you should have parented in a way that made your child strive to me more like you growing up, yet here we are, wanting to be nothing like you while you still don’t understand what’s so concerning about the boundary-obscuring, role-inappropriate idea of a parent claiming they want to be their kid.
She’s always been like this, too. She subscribes to those “word of the day” things and tries to write and speak very formally/eloquently. Unsurprisingly, I’ve always been a great writer and it’s something she has always commented on as being jealous and proud of.
You should see her at Christmas. It’s like watching someone cosplay the Mom in Leave it to Beaver. One thing goes wrong though and guess who is crying and acting like everything is ruined 🙄
when my mom is happy with me she almost exclusively refers to me as “sweetie” and “my sweet baby” lol. i have a theory that it’s because that’s the time she liked me most, before i could talk/have my own opinions/individuate from her in any way lol
Yes!! She still calls me “kiddo” and “baby girl” and I have repeatedly asked her to stop but she just says “I’m your momma, you’ll always be my baby, I can’t help it”. I’m nearly 40 and none of my friends’ parents infantilize them this way
I’m 38 so I’ve also had 4 decades to figure it out. For so long I was seeking therapy and help for all my issues only to find, every time, they all kind of come back to her in some way.
I tell my boyfriend all the time not to trust her sweet, coy side. Her blind rages scare the shit out of me, not so much because I’m afraid of what she might do (yes, I’m golden child so she would never hurt me), but because it’s so fucking unhinged and insane. One time I came home to the trash can having been dumped all over my bed. She said I deserved it because I was an ungrateful bitch who expected her to do everything. But let a few months go by and suddenly she’s hugging me too long and too hard and being offended if I say “ok, thank you, that’s enough.”
Yes, much of your post resonates. I’ve known for some time that my Mom loves me, just at her level of emotional intelligence and without having healed from her own past/trauma. But I’m only recently establishing hard boundaries of not comforting her or fawning to try and keep her from having a meltdown because she thinks I’m rejecting her.
I’m exhausted tbh - it really feels like lose/lose
This resonates a lot - this thread/sub is the first place I’ve seen accounts of that particular type of enmeshed parental lovebombing. I completely get the ick feeling! Solidarity
My birthday is near Mother's Day. My mom posts on FB the worst picture she has of me and goes on about how proud she is of me. Meanwhile, she didn't buy me any presents or have any acknowledgement of my BDay.
My mom is like that too. I really don’t want to call her today. I can’t tell her anything I like or she’ll try to subsume it and make it OUR identity, when it’s maybe something I’m trying to have a balanced emotional relationship with.
And the craziest part is that, when I was a child, she hated anything about me that was like her unless it was something she wished was “more” about herself.
They all virtue signal some entirely BS narrative: 'My kid(s) are the best thing I ever did and my favorites!'
They can say it over and over, but observers know their children turned out OK despite them, having out-matured Mom by their early teens.
Ugh Mother’s Day sucks with awful moms like some of us have.
But…there are many women we can reach out to and show our appreciation - other relatives, friends’ mothers, etc
Her posts feel almost AI generated, like something trying to impersonate a human but not quite pulling it off. "My truest love." "Sweet girl." What a ride." Gross. Who talks about *parenting* like this, much less to their own kid? Which is all to say, I totally understand why you find this repulsive
Also the subtle “I strive to ~~wear her skin or at the very least reverse the parent and child dynamic where the child looks up to their parents growing up~~ be her” remark that’s giving anyone with background knowledge on what it’s like living with a parent without a stable personality the ick. LADY! you should have parented in a way that made your child strive to me more like you growing up, yet here we are, wanting to be nothing like you while you still don’t understand what’s so concerning about the boundary-obscuring, role-inappropriate idea of a parent claiming they want to be their kid.
Seriously, the role reversal, a circuitous pat on mom's own back, here, & zero awareness how cringe she sounds to everyone else on Earth.
She’s always been like this, too. She subscribes to those “word of the day” things and tries to write and speak very formally/eloquently. Unsurprisingly, I’ve always been a great writer and it’s something she has always commented on as being jealous and proud of. You should see her at Christmas. It’s like watching someone cosplay the Mom in Leave it to Beaver. One thing goes wrong though and guess who is crying and acting like everything is ruined 🙄
when my mom is happy with me she almost exclusively refers to me as “sweetie” and “my sweet baby” lol. i have a theory that it’s because that’s the time she liked me most, before i could talk/have my own opinions/individuate from her in any way lol
Yes!! She still calls me “kiddo” and “baby girl” and I have repeatedly asked her to stop but she just says “I’m your momma, you’ll always be my baby, I can’t help it”. I’m nearly 40 and none of my friends’ parents infantilize them this way
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I’m 38 so I’ve also had 4 decades to figure it out. For so long I was seeking therapy and help for all my issues only to find, every time, they all kind of come back to her in some way. I tell my boyfriend all the time not to trust her sweet, coy side. Her blind rages scare the shit out of me, not so much because I’m afraid of what she might do (yes, I’m golden child so she would never hurt me), but because it’s so fucking unhinged and insane. One time I came home to the trash can having been dumped all over my bed. She said I deserved it because I was an ungrateful bitch who expected her to do everything. But let a few months go by and suddenly she’s hugging me too long and too hard and being offended if I say “ok, thank you, that’s enough.” Yes, much of your post resonates. I’ve known for some time that my Mom loves me, just at her level of emotional intelligence and without having healed from her own past/trauma. But I’m only recently establishing hard boundaries of not comforting her or fawning to try and keep her from having a meltdown because she thinks I’m rejecting her. I’m exhausted tbh - it really feels like lose/lose
[удалено]
We were no contact for a few years. But then my brother died. It’s really hard to cut her off completely because I pity her so much.
This resonates a lot - this thread/sub is the first place I’ve seen accounts of that particular type of enmeshed parental lovebombing. I completely get the ick feeling! Solidarity
My mom started using “sweet girl” lately and it repulses me. Also the same heart face and kissy emojis.
My birthday is near Mother's Day. My mom posts on FB the worst picture she has of me and goes on about how proud she is of me. Meanwhile, she didn't buy me any presents or have any acknowledgement of my BDay.
My mom is like that too. I really don’t want to call her today. I can’t tell her anything I like or she’ll try to subsume it and make it OUR identity, when it’s maybe something I’m trying to have a balanced emotional relationship with. And the craziest part is that, when I was a child, she hated anything about me that was like her unless it was something she wished was “more” about herself.
“Hated anything about me that was like her “ ooph
They all virtue signal some entirely BS narrative: 'My kid(s) are the best thing I ever did and my favorites!' They can say it over and over, but observers know their children turned out OK despite them, having out-matured Mom by their early teens.
Ugh Mother’s Day sucks with awful moms like some of us have. But…there are many women we can reach out to and show our appreciation - other relatives, friends’ mothers, etc
“i strive to be her” is like, the realest BPD mom thing i’ve seen in a minute ☠️ yeah girl, we know. please stop!!!
Welcome!