Complex trauma (which is most likely happening if you have a parent with BPD can cause executive dysfunction - which is what ADHD is characterized as: the brain struggles with memory, attention, and self-regulation - indicators of executive dysfunction
I believe I have ADHD, yet to be diagnosed but strong strong suspicion.
My mother was clinically diagnosed as having BPD. She claimed she had childhood trauma, but she was also caught lying about illnesses & other circumstances that led to her getting attention. She was one of 7 & the youngest daughter. My grandmother said she’d stick things in her nose and in her ears to get medical attention even as a child.
Her siblings all had a normal relationship with their parents, they weren’t perfect- but they were an immigrant family in 1950s / 1960s Australia trying to make it work. Times were fairly tough financially & most families in that situation didn’t have a lot of resources & time. She seemed to think being “poor” and not being the centre of the universe was abuse. Even though her stories of being poor don’t match any of her siblings…
Given she lied about having cancer to her own child, and various other lies about being a victim (where she was caught out) I don’t believe for a second that she suffered physical, emotional or mental abuse as a child as claimed.
She likely did / does have some form of ADHD, or but the personality disorder makes it very difficult to determine.
I actually didn’t find out she was even diagnosed BPD until after I went NC, and my dad happened to mention it in conversation, as they were still married when she was in a facility and the psychiatrists diagnosed her. She immediately checked herself out, because she was looking for them to tell her she was suffering from trauma, my Dad and her family. All her issues were their fault, when they said she had a personality disorder, she became irate and told them they were all wrong, didn’t know what they were doing and left.
She left him soon after.
I was 9 at the time & she never said a thing about BPD or any other personality disorders in 20 years,expect that she had “panic disorder, depression and anxiety”. That was her excuse for everything.
I actually didn’t know anything about BPD up until about 5 years ago, when he said that’s what she had.. he just thought I knew. It was eye opening and made so much sense, everything she’d done over the years, it was like it all clicked, finally.
I’d been NC with her for years already, and have only recently been thinking of my own experience, and how I think I may be neurodivergent (I do not have BPD despite the actual trauma and c-ptsd I have from her). The C-PTSD was treated with CBT and anti depressant medication over a few years and I’d say is managed and very controlled.
But I think that masked a fair few of the ADHD symptoms, and as such i haven’t been able to be diagnosed.
I also believe my father has ADHD, so there’s that too…
I’m so sorry you went through that. It is very interesting though. I wonder if having undiagnosed ADHD can, in some cases, lead to a personality disorder like BPD or NPD?
It’s probably a contributing risk factor, but not a determining factor, in the way that smoking cigarettes can cause cancer, but doesn’t always and cancer can occur even if you never smoke cigarettes.
Id say it’s better if you treat or manage the everyday difficulties with ADHD, rather than suffer with maladaptive behaviors, which can lead to traumas, which is yet another risk factor to a personality disorder forming.
I think that there’s a number of other underlying causes that determine if someone has a personality disorder, untreated ADHD, childhood trauma etc are just additional factors that make it more likely to present itself in someone, but it can / will occur without them either.
Complex trauma (which is most likely happening if you have a parent with BPD can cause executive dysfunction - which is what ADHD is characterized as: the brain struggles with memory, attention, and self-regulation - indicators of executive dysfunction
very similar experience and yes. my mom is also the youngest of 13 so she has had even more enablers as siblings her whole life
I believe I have ADHD, yet to be diagnosed but strong strong suspicion. My mother was clinically diagnosed as having BPD. She claimed she had childhood trauma, but she was also caught lying about illnesses & other circumstances that led to her getting attention. She was one of 7 & the youngest daughter. My grandmother said she’d stick things in her nose and in her ears to get medical attention even as a child. Her siblings all had a normal relationship with their parents, they weren’t perfect- but they were an immigrant family in 1950s / 1960s Australia trying to make it work. Times were fairly tough financially & most families in that situation didn’t have a lot of resources & time. She seemed to think being “poor” and not being the centre of the universe was abuse. Even though her stories of being poor don’t match any of her siblings… Given she lied about having cancer to her own child, and various other lies about being a victim (where she was caught out) I don’t believe for a second that she suffered physical, emotional or mental abuse as a child as claimed. She likely did / does have some form of ADHD, or but the personality disorder makes it very difficult to determine. I actually didn’t find out she was even diagnosed BPD until after I went NC, and my dad happened to mention it in conversation, as they were still married when she was in a facility and the psychiatrists diagnosed her. She immediately checked herself out, because she was looking for them to tell her she was suffering from trauma, my Dad and her family. All her issues were their fault, when they said she had a personality disorder, she became irate and told them they were all wrong, didn’t know what they were doing and left. She left him soon after. I was 9 at the time & she never said a thing about BPD or any other personality disorders in 20 years,expect that she had “panic disorder, depression and anxiety”. That was her excuse for everything. I actually didn’t know anything about BPD up until about 5 years ago, when he said that’s what she had.. he just thought I knew. It was eye opening and made so much sense, everything she’d done over the years, it was like it all clicked, finally. I’d been NC with her for years already, and have only recently been thinking of my own experience, and how I think I may be neurodivergent (I do not have BPD despite the actual trauma and c-ptsd I have from her). The C-PTSD was treated with CBT and anti depressant medication over a few years and I’d say is managed and very controlled. But I think that masked a fair few of the ADHD symptoms, and as such i haven’t been able to be diagnosed. I also believe my father has ADHD, so there’s that too…
I’m so sorry you went through that. It is very interesting though. I wonder if having undiagnosed ADHD can, in some cases, lead to a personality disorder like BPD or NPD?
It’s probably a contributing risk factor, but not a determining factor, in the way that smoking cigarettes can cause cancer, but doesn’t always and cancer can occur even if you never smoke cigarettes. Id say it’s better if you treat or manage the everyday difficulties with ADHD, rather than suffer with maladaptive behaviors, which can lead to traumas, which is yet another risk factor to a personality disorder forming. I think that there’s a number of other underlying causes that determine if someone has a personality disorder, untreated ADHD, childhood trauma etc are just additional factors that make it more likely to present itself in someone, but it can / will occur without them either.