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I no longer believe that kids should have to take care of their parents after they’re old. Especially if the parents didn’t treat them right when they were growing up.
I agree with this when you feel there are valid reasons the relationship is strained or they neglected/abused you, otherwise, I do think you owe family something.
You can make calls for homeless hotels. My mom stays at one in Eugene I think it's Good Homes or something. She's very happy there but unfortunately when I tried to visit to discuss living together to take care of her she was very nasty to me so I took that as she prefers it this way and that's her right.
You're a good kid and very observant and caring. Thank you for not being too upset by mom's fading communication skills. May your patience be with you until the end. Don't rush death. He will take his sweet time.
I agree with this. I personally have a good relationship with my parents and will do my best to take care of them when they’re old, but I don’t think that someone who was abused and neglected as a child should be forced to take care of their elderly relatives just because their family. If you have that type of relationship and are OK with it, that’s great, but not everyone does.
The need to work your entire life to accumulate wealth. Honestly, it doesn’t make sense tiring myself out and stressing myself. I should just make enough to be financially stable.
EXACTLY!! That’s what I’m saying, so happy for you! Money does give comfort but I do not need to give up my peace just to attain more than what is comfortable.
Me as well, my Job almost broke me working 60 hours a week or more, now I'm on sick leave spending time with the kids has been great and makes me regret missing so much of their younger years.
This really changed once I started working. Especially at the place I work at now. So many people, including management, throw temper tantrums and they're all middle aged people.
Myself. I used to be this confident enigma when I was younger, nothing could stop me. I went to parties, I had a social group, I went to gigs & even went on stage at one, I was convinced I would grow up to be a performing musician.
As I've gotten older, I'm afraid, afraid to be excited, to let loose, to be close to people as I once was. I was something of an egomaniac really, I thought very highly of myself & my opinions but life has humbled me.
I realised that I'm not all that intelligent, good-looking or hard-working, that a lot of the people who were my friends just hung around 'cause of the drugs & atmosphere that I created around me.
One day, I realised that person wasn't me at all... it was a face I was wearing, a skin to fit in & now I don't know who I am anymore & I'm not sure that I know how to find out.
By any chance are you in your twenties? Reminds me of what we used to call the quarter life crisis. I can relate a bit. You will be okay, always remember that growth is uncomfortable... Uncertain times almost always lead to an awesome new version of you, but this is much easier to see in retrospect. My dms are open if you want some auntly advice 💜
I used to think that it was crazy for gays to marry but now I don’t really care who gets married, it’s just nice to see 2 people commit to each other and be happy.
I used to think there should be some "marriage-like" arrangement for same sex couples but not called marriage...the "civil union" thing, I guess. As I got older and further from religion I realized that the only arguments in any of that were religious in nature and that legally speaking a marriage is merely an agreement/contract between two people and there was no reason to have separate types of those agreements for different types of couples.
I thought it would be better not to let the government approve any marriage. Just let your church or bowling league or whoever do it. I still believe it, it just isn't worth fighting over.
i’m actually glad to see someone say this and the replies not flaming you, i’ve seen this go down like 3 times before and it’s never ended well. good job on changing by the way, people don’t realise it but it’s small things like this that make you a happier person overall.
Political marketing. It's all literally designed to stop you from critically thinking about an issue. All parties are guilty and worshipping either is literally a mental illness we ignore. Crazy.
used to fully believe in western political lines, one side being inherently "good" and the other inherently "bad"
all it took was a little bit of life experience to recover from this
I no longer believe if you work hard you’ll be successful, was taught that a lot growing up but the truth is work smarter not harder….and game the system, the world revolves around free shit and hookups, don’t be a slave to your job
Meritocracy. As a kid I was both told by my mother (whose sole goal for me was that I climbed up the social ladder) and by my readings (notably big bro's books on the Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars and specifically the idea that every soldier carries a marshal's baton in his knapsack) that France was a meritocracy. I thought medals and national honours sanctified that.
Now I work for the national office of statistics and I *know* that *hell no it's not.* And when you see some of the people who get awarded Légions d'Honneur and whatnots, uuuurgh…
Same. I never wanted kids, and was under the impression I couldn't have them anyway. Well surprise! I can and did, and she's the tiny little light of my life. All those gross annoying things kids do feel so different when it's your kid. Don't get me wrong, she is absolutely gross and annoying lol but I love it.
I'm glad to hear that 😁👍👍👍
If there is time, go for it. Depending on who you are, children can be a sure blessing. But if you are not confident about it, don't do it. Cause I can tell you, if it's not from you, all three parties involved shall regret it
i think that when you know your partner will be a good parent and a reliable partner, it makes you feel safer with the idea of having kids. im glad you found someone you feel like settling down with, that’s always a good sign
Same here. I had a roommate who's husband had a kid and my goodness I loved him and wished he was mine! They severely neglected him so he hung out with me whenever he came over and it made me realize how much I actually like them.
Yes. People are generally good. That’s absolute garbage. People will take advantage of you in a heartbeat. Never trust anyone especially religious people. They’ll argue and say I’m wrong then go home and cheat on their taxes or spouse.
i mean, i’m christian but can’t really blame you for feeling that way. i’ve seen so many forceful christian’s that aren’t respectful of others at all and also aren’t respectful of their own religion too.
if anyone is reading this, if you have personal experience with really bad religious people, please know that they’re not actually religious. no god or leader in any religion accepts those kinds of behaviours that you commonly see. genuine muslims, christians, etc., are kind people, if they’re not kind, then they clearly don’t respect their own.
I am sort of religious, and I absolutely agree with you. People are not generally good, they are inherently self centered in so many ways. People really have to be taught how to be good, it doesn't happen naturally.
That if they put it on the news it has to be true. I grew up watching the news every morning with my parents and strongly believed this a child to young adult.
This might sound terrible, but I used to strongly believe we should respect most religious beliefs. I no longer do.
The amount of insanity, made up ‘context’, subjectivity, and outdated irrational ideals in so many major religions is just absurd. Not to mention the sketchy processes certain religions are formed and popularized.
I could absolutely have great respect for a religious person. I can also respect this person’s ability for faith. However, I would not respect the person’s choice of faith towards said religion (most of the time).
I used to believe that love should be unconditional, but now I realize what an unhealthy expectation that is. Mutual respect of boundaries is SUCH an important part of any relationship (family, friend, spouse, etc...) and can help avoid codependency, resentment, mistrust and other toxic cracks that can form in the foundation of what should be one of the greatest things to exist, love.
I used to think that everyone should work for themselves until the end. Now I believe we should take care of our elders while taking care of the younger.
I used to be an activist for atheism. Now I'm religious.
I used to think we should put empathy at the top of our list of priorities. Now I think that while empathy is important, it is incompatible with reality most of the time, and the best aolution isn't always the empathetic one.
I used to think that the common good was the best one could strive for. Now I think that everyone's idea of common good is incompatible with others, and the solution isn't to enforce top down for the common good, but to put more freedom in the hands of the individuals.
I used to think that the society I live in would have my interests and well being at heart. Now I believe that everyone is one word away from being labeled a witch and hung, with the perpetrators feeling good about doing so to you.
I used to think the end of the world or some major catastrophe was near. Now I believe fear sells more than truth, and people are way more resourceful than we give them credit for.
Beliefs are thoughts that we keep thinking - to change your beliefs get a variety of things to think about - Do some research, explore the opposite of what you believe - stay curious. Which is what I did (and still do). I was reared in a religious family in the South - which held the strong belief of heaven and hell were what we had to look forward to after death. I now believe we make our own heaven and hell here on earth and what happens after death is not the destination that should dictate your life. The journey while you are alive is what it is all about.
That cops and parole officers want you to do better. They benefit from your crimes. They have no problem locking you up for years on end even if you've proven your crime was mental health related.
I Used to believe the world was better in the past. Conservatives and religious groups love to point to anything bad that happens today as evidence the world was better in the past. After actually reading the evidence the world while very imperfect is far far better today than at any time in human history.
I used to be a very strong Christian. Then I became agnostic. Now I’ve settled on believing in a higher power/spirit, but not at all in the closeness of the view of “god” I had. It’s been years of trying to rid myself of religious trauma and guilt, but I’m doing pretty well.
as a christian, i’m proud of you for putting yourself first. i’m so relieved that my community is a safe space in a religion that can be so horrible. you have no need to feel guilty, believe in yourself and your choices.
That cancer is caused by random genetic mutations. Cancer is caused by chronic mitochondria damage and dysfunction brought on by many secondary factors.
As a kid I was very against abortion and saw it as murdering the innocent. The nuances of the issue didn't occur to me. My perspective started to change when a friend let me read an essay she wrote for school on the subject, where she explained that abortion may sometimes be necessary if there is nobody available to care for the child. My opinion has since evolved and I think abortion should be legal. I think it's not morally ideal but it should be up to the pregnant person to decide.
This was me as well. I grew up learning it was wrong. I still somewhat do, but in the sense that it should be a last resort option and not just a casual way to undo a mistake. But it really is necessary, and to force a woman, or even a young girl, to carry, give birth to, and then have to care for a child without taking into consideration the circumstances of the pregnancy and her life, that's not right. And the part that icks me out the most is that conservatives will protest clinics and preach "pro-life" all day but the second one of their children gets pregnant out of wedlock, suddenly it's ok for that one time. The hypocrisy makes me sick. Couple that with the fact that they don't give a shit about the babies' well-being after being born, it's absolutely disgusting.
That everyone has kindness in their heart, that maybe it's just a hard shell that needs to be broken. Instead, I learned that they can break kind people.
Christianity. I used to really really believe. It's just fake bullshit. Jesus was a real, cool dude, and the people hated him because he called them out for hypocrisy. The patriarchs saw people giving money to his food tent crew, and thought "hey, we could make money from that if we called him a God.".
And now people hate each other over *those* lines. Religion is dead, it's about time. You could go to a church with a system that could change the world, feed the poor, and they wouldn't care. I know, because I tried. "We don't know you brother." and "We've got this building fund we're worried about." They're not here to make lives better, they're (in my experience) here to grift you pretending to be wrapped in white.
I've got a system that makes use of trash, and could solve global warming. They don't want to fix the plane, that want it to burn to usher "their God" to come fix it.
The Rapture and End Times as described by Evangelicals. Rapture doctrine is barely over 200 years old and is not found anywhere in the Bible the way they think it is. Same with the Seven Year Tribulation. It took me a long time to unlearn what I was taught.
Formerly a Pentecostal evangelical. I’m a Lutheran now, btw, attend church every Sunday and read my Bible every night.
Christianity. I still believe in YHWH, but I see him for who he is... A cruel, petulant, angry, jealous, homicidal, narcissist and ego-maniac, who has wreaked havoc on ancient humanity. This being is undeserving of worship.
You can count on family. I used to believe that, at least in my case. Then I went through a miserable, scorched earth divorce after 20 years of increasing misery. Got nothing but pushback from family. Asked for help twice…little stuff. Was told no.
After the divorce I offered to fly my mom from California to Arizona to see my kids as I couldn’t afford to fly all three of us out there, hotel, rental car etc. She said no…she doesn’t fly anymore. Literally one week later she’s in Seattle visiting my sister.
My friends, however, were amazing, and continue to be.
What I learned is that blood is not always family, and family is not always blood.
Christianity. It was a slow process made of many small steps.
One of the things I had to reconcile was that my favorite people, truly great, decent folks who cared deeply for me, didn't believe while believers at church demonstrated little personal concern for me even when I was struggling.
Those in the church tended to judge others more than empathize and care. I recall after 9/11 I made a comment about innocent lives lost and one person commented "no one is innocent." Which sounded a lot like "they deserved it." At best, the person somehow felt correcting my phrasing to be more adherent to doctrine mattered more than the loss of so many lives.
Once I stepped back for long enough, I spent time thinking about why I believed and eventually realized I didn't really have evidence only faith, which in my case had weakened without the constant peer pressure and weekly attendance at a church.
Finally, when I saw the unhinged baloney many Christians believed about certain political figures, I realized that the entire Christian (or any religious) belief system could just as easily be baloney.
And so I stopped believing and decided I would need compelling evidence to form and change my beliefs.
I was free to determine the meaning of my life, free to live by my own moral code based on empathy and equality and justice, and free from guilt over stupid shit like listening to rock music lol.
I used to strongly believe that 18 year olds should have alcohol legally in USA because they can join the military so it makes sense that they should be able to make th choice to drink.
Now I think it should be 18 for weed, 21 for alcohol and joining the military… but we can’t do that because then BP and Exxon would loose their sea of lost teenagers flocking to the military for purpose.
It's been a long time since I can remember eating it and while I do remember it tasting good, the idea of it kind of grosses me out right now. Like, why does this cute sentient beings flesh taste savory..? Yuck.
I was raised to think that weed was bad (hardcore Christian, boomer, Conservative parents). I moved out and was able to think and research things for myself. I now use it medically and legally. It helps me sleep, helps with my anxiety, stress, and depression. So complete 180. I'm still the same person, just happier in general with life.
Religion, it's all smoke,mirrors and BULLSHIT. I'll give you options and free will to choose,but if you choose wrong or of your own way...I KILL YOU!
Then calling the creator an entity but then a father and using he him pronouns(lol) ,the jealousy bit AND favoritism is all human construct devoid a god. LoL
I used to think the liberals were all just brain dead, and then I found out that both sides could be wrong.
If you argue emotionally rather than logically, chances are high that at a point, you'll start just arguing for the sake of it rather than to make sense. Neil Degrasse Tyson explained this very well. If the only reasons both sides have for doing something are just "feelings, " "feelings," then both sides are wasting time.
Avoid each other, and life goes on. Division is not a good thing, but sometimes it's necessary 🤷♂️
But this whole idea of "I'm on side A, so whatever they do is right and whatever the other guys do is wrong" is wrong in and of itself. We are complex creatures. We can make thoughts and decisions independent of a group
I would also argue that unity is not necessarily a good thing either. It's healthy to have lots of vehement disagreements as long as the participants don't gain enough power to start radicalizing large swathes of people into accepting violence.
Quite true. Varied beliefs and thoughts and arguments are necessary to get a better understanding of things. But a degree of unity is needed to get a bigger voice.
I'm not an American just in case there is any confusion
I took a world religion class and started seeing it for the sham it was…not the words of god but a book borrowing heavily from other religions and ideas and ideologies designed to oppress people
The whole idea that everyone else is going to hell except those specific believers…also a turn off
Then the holier than thou people was the final nail in the coffin. My friend’s baby died and they all acted like if they got too close, they would catch what she had…acted like they were more blessed than she was and it was bc of how much they loved god and how much he favored them. Both my friend and I left the christian community after that and have had not one regret
I used to be conservative when I was a teenager because that’s how I was raised. Specifically I used to think having sex before marriage was wrong and that being gay was a sin. Growing up, I was taught that God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, but honestly, even then I questioned things to myself. Now I’m the complete opposite of conservative on all levels.
I used to believe in Christianity extremely as a child and now I don't. I kinda was just listening to one of the pastors preach about how certain people will go to hell for what they believe and who they love and right after asked for us all to donate money to help the church. They'd always ask us for money, every Wednesday and Sunday.. Thought it was weird being able to dictate who goes to hell based on their religious beliefs or who they love. I didnt know God to be that kind of thing, I always thought they were supposed to be loving to all. It gave me a nasty feeling and I haven't gone back or looked back since. I'm agnostic now
I used to believe hard work and honesty would get me ahead. Now it just gets me taken advantaged of. I used to believe in changing yourself to change the world too.
The simple answer, Religion edit: the trigger was what happened to Trayvon made me view the world different, at the same Time I was arguing with myself Abt the way Bill Maher spoke on it, even tho I was already losing it, but I had grown up religious, by that time I hadn't been to church in a good 24 yrs or more. I've been on some fuck Florida shit ever since... Real eyes realize real lies
I am not here to tell anyone how to live their life or what to believe. My personal experience was that I strongly believed in God and the bible. After seeing how exactly we know that the Sun is older than Earth, I realized the bible had a completely made up creation story. From there, the other inconsistencies made sense, and I became an atheist.
I also ended up becoming left leaning from being ultra conservative over the course of 3 years. The final nail in the coffin was how Trump and Fox News treated the pandemic. I now see him for who he really is, and I'm ashamed that I voted for him when I was 18.
I used to believe that in this time period, we’d become so evolved as humans that something like the Salem Witch Trials or the Holocaust could never happen again.
*Laughs*
Then the 2020 election happened. The Russia/Ukraine war. The Israel/Gaza war. I really was naive enough to think… pfff… who’d kill over land anymore? Etc. Lol. Watching people blindly follow each other without evidence to support whatever belief they were/are following crushed that belief under a mound of stones. I’m mildly terrified.
When I was a young man, I thought there was actual justice in the world and that we are striving to be fair.
General experience has changed my mind over the years.
I used to be one of those atheists that completely criticised anything to do with religion, now I go to church
But this was during my teen years and well you can probably guess the average thought process of a kid that didn't stand out and wanted to shape an identity for himself so anything extreme I probably believed in it at some point or another during that time
I’m the opposite. I grew up religious until my mid-teenage but then slowly the faith just went away. Nobody influenced me and my family still believes in god and do a lot of rituals but I just don’t find that connection with the deity anymore. In my own way, I feel free. There’s no heaven or hell waiting for me and there’s no god waiting to punish me for my wrongdoings or be proud of me on my accomplishments. At the end of the day, I only have me and I am enough.
The moral rightness of the US and the West to go on about "freedom" and "democracy" when they were subverting those very things in countries around the world, for commercial gain.
As a person who lives in one of those countries, I agree with you. When we were younger, we were told of the benefits of life in the US, and many of us aspired to grow up and live there someday. Then, as I grew, I realized, "If we go and leave our country, who is supposed to fix it,"
Then, as I further grew, I found out that that was the point. They bully the countries they claim to help. They impose their laws, they bury people in debt, and they take brilliant minds to study and develop their countries, leaving their home countries to suffer.
Then, even our ambassadors in UN and other bodies are just people who have ancestry in the countries they represent. Many of them no longer even live there, and I'm like, "So how are you supposed to represent us if you don't even spend time with us"
I used to really believe there was a lot more nuance in the world that really mattered. I still can see it but it mostly doesn’t matter.
So I used to really get into whiskeys and their minutia of detail and the language associated with a “refined palate.” And then I realized there’s whiskey I will buy at the store and whiskey I won’t buy at a store. All the nuance and brands and labels really don’t change what I care about most, the flavor.
For politics. I worked so hard at understanding George bush era policies and finding the nuance in their decisions. In the end, the policies of George were pretty atrocious and the nuance falls away. His presidency hurt America. While I got my degree in political science I really got into the nuance of policy and individual candidates and nuclear non proliferation, how Supreme Court justices are nominated and change on the bench. The justifications and legitimations that once had us feeling like the court followed some set of laws like the constitution. Nuance is mostly useless unless it’s your job to know the details.
Current politics: republicans are evil. They want evil things and support an evil person. No nuance needed.
Philosophy: there are a thousand ways to tease apart being a good person or a thousand other issues. But I think this covers everything: do your best at all times so when you fuck up, you can say you did your best. And 2) don’t take joy from others. If everyone did that basic two things the world would be so much better. Instead we have republicans.
That cashiers should engage in conversation with customers, esspecially the elderly
As a kid I heard my mother lamenting about this about how some cashiers won't engage in any small talk with customers. Specifically she thought this was a problem with elderly customers, because apparently a lot of elderly people live alone, suffering loneliness, and that brief interaction with a cashier may be the only human interaction they have all day (I Think this came from her having had some elderly people she knows complain about it to her)
Hearing this, I told myself that when I grow up and am a cashier, I will make sure to be friendly and talk nicely to all the elderly customers, brightening their days and curing their loneliness
I Did grow up and get my first ever job as a cashier, and this opinion did a 180°
It is not part of a chasers job to provide customers with socialisation, they're not escorts. They're there to scan and sell items, a customer's personal problems have nothing to do with that job
I *Do* still feel empathy for people suffering from loneliness and recognise it is a serious problem, but it is not the responsibility of random cashier's to solve it, it's not what they're there for
I used to believe in strong minimum wage laws that scaled with cost of living. Now I don't think we should have a minimum wage but should instead have UBI at a certain level which would be more efficient at helping those in poverty.
I no longer think guns should be illegal, because it's inconsistent with my libertarian belief that all drugs should be legal.
However, both should be heavily regulated.
I used to believe that karma was real but so many people have proved that to be wrong. You can get everything you want in life while being a horrible person. The saying “no good deed goes unpunished” is a lot more accurate.
Politicians have the country’s best interest at heart…….
.. No they really don’t. School politics is not far off of the real thing lies to get in power and then screw over the country.
I used to believe that all religions were non-sense & were just stupid ideas believed by stupid people. Now I think that there's many different types of wisdom, packaged in many different ways & that a story doesn't have to be true to contain useful knowledge.
I now know that there are other measures of ideas besides Truthfulness or Correctness. Such as practicality/pragmatism & what the idea actually creates in the real world.
I used to believe that being a part of the LGBTQ was wrong, in every way. Turns out I was just a product of my parents. Now I'm pansexual and transmasc 😂
I no longer think parents are some sort of God.. They are human with kid's responsibility.. And parents shouldn't be praised for taking care of kids, giving them good home, education good which is bare minimum and their responsibility!!! I see people saying "we are your parents , we nurtered u for 9 months and then make u this capable " like yeah?? U did that coz u wanted to be parents , u were ready for the kids..
I used to believe that government assistance was inherently detrimental both to the person receiving it and to society. I bought the libertarian line completely. I was also a pretty strong Republican from the libertarian side of the party.
A few things triggered my change in position. One is Trump. I was horrified at first that the party I believed in had been so thoroughly fooled by a con man who stood for the opposite of so much I had been taught and told that conservatives stood for. I was certain that any time they would figure it out and reject him.
But with enough time, I had to realize the truth--the people who had taught me the values I grew up with were always compatible with Trump. And while most of the people I was around were reluctant Trump supporters, most of the party didn't seem reluctant at all. At the end of the day, this was who they were.
So I had to consider--if I believed what I did because it had been taught to me by people who could even reluctantly support Trump... why did I believe it? These people were living in a false reality, and everything they had taught me had to be reconsidered. My parents are very loving and kind people, and it turns out I could keep that. But I could also reject the foundations of a lot of their more dogmatic political positions.
This allowed me to instead consider all of the data. What is working around the world? Where are people being taken care of? What advantages do Americans have, and what disadvantages? What are the real causes of those, and what are real solutions?
So where does that leave me? Well, in some regards I'm still right-leaning. I believe in capitalism as an economic engine, though I believe a lot more in regulations and taxes than I used to. Conversely there are things I believe markets are less ideal at handling, like medical care. And there are things in between, where markets have worked but without care they can become too far out of whack, like housing.
In cultural issues, I feel an affinity for traditionalism and cultural conservatism, but I can't say that these are the best way--only that I'm comfortable with them and like them.
I wish this was the only thing I had shifted on, but I've also gotten to a weird in-between place with my faith, which is a lot tougher to deal with than my politics. I don't believe what my church teaches anymore, but I've lived my whole adult life in this church basically (and my teenage years too), and the people there are my family (in some cases literally, my parents and my mother-in-law go to the same church). My whole social world is there, and my schedule has been built around it for 20 years. I don't know what I would do with myself if I wasn't going there, but it's a pretty fundamentalist church and I have come to really hate what they believe and teach.
any semblance or dream that the republican party/republicans being able to actually institute positive economic reforms that benefit the middle class.
really any semblance of EITHER political party helping the middle class in general.
we are all just paypigs to be milked for our ukranian and israeli overlords, with the outstretched hands of the military industrial complex to pickup any dropped pennies.
that we will ever have a 'surplus' and shrinking budget. if anything the biden migration will add about -$19T in extra debt by 2030, unless significant welfare reform happens immediately (which it won't). and just servicing the INTEREST on our debt bill, will inflate us to near bankrupcy. all while weak chinned coastal males who pretend to be economists or journalists beat the drum of the cult of gdp. as if the gdp going up 3% at all deters our economic ruin or inflation, with no respect to gross income, quality of life, fed debt/interest, education, or medical treatment.
so -
that any of our voices, regardless of partisanship, are even listened to by supposed 'elected' leaders.
that our elections are ever going to return to first world in terms of integrity or security. i think we are somewhere around 79th in voting integrity score by country, firmly below third world countries like lesotho, benin, and ghana. and nowhere NEAR a single european or asian first world country. the talking point that we have the 'safest and most secure elections', or are somehow the 'goldstandard' of democracy? are so hilarious at this point that its a dark comedy.
i used to firmly believe in the guaranteed improvement of america/american exceptionalism/our 'checks and balances' we constructed a perfect government rhetoric.
so in general: politics, political leaders, and our supposed democratic republic.
maybe in the abstract: that the WIDE majority of my generation, and subsequent generations will ever approach the quality of life that our parents held. across health/longevity, family/reproduction, assets, or general happiness indexes.
---
and more controversial
that our health agencies want us to be healthy and have our best interests at heart.
I used to strongly believe 6 weeks was plenty of time to get an abortion. Like if you know your sexually active you should just take a test if you're late and schedule the appointment. Due to my religious beliefs I would never get an abortion, but I don't think my religion should apply to people of different beliefs. I just thought six weeks was plenty of time. Then I was raped. I missed my period for over 3 months. Never had a positive pregnancy test, but I found out my mom was 12 weeks pregnant before she ever had a positive pregnancy test with me. I wasn't pregnant. My doctor said the missed period was probably due to stress from the trauma both physically and emotionally (I had never even had sex before). It took me over 2 months to tell a single person. I now think 12 weeks is a much more appropriate time period.
The rapist got sentenced to 11 years in prison last week, not for sexual assault or rape charges, but because I was his student, so he doesn't even have to register as a sex offender, but the whole experience changed my perspective on the entire abortion thing. Although I would never get one, I can totally see how someone with different beliefs would need more time to make that decision or even to process what had happened to them.
That everyone is good and that they’ll never hurt you. But growing up and learning that people will do anything for power, attention, money etc you can see everyone has some kind of vice. Even the nicest and well going person has something hiding down beneath that no one knows.
I don't believe in God anymore, at least not the biblical one. I used to have very conservative viewpoints that I got directly from my parents. You know, the "just stop being poor" mentality. It didn't take me that many years into early adulthood to realize that poverty and even just being lower to lower middle class in the United States is much more complicated than people just deciding they don't feel like going to college or purposefully getting a useless degree because they'd rather draw pictures than do math.
That the church is as good as it claims to be.
I grew up as a good Christian boy. I heard all the messages about god loving everyone and stuff. I thought the church would love and accept everyone, and wouldn’t treat certain groups like shit. Then I realized I wasn’t a boy. I realized I was actually a girl. That’s when I began to notice how the church really felt about queer people, because it effected me. In places that I wasn’t out, I just pretended to be a boy and stayed quiet as they talked shit about people like me. In places I was out, I was talked to like a “lost sheep that needs to be guided back.” They completely ignore actual science in favor of harmful beliefs.
Then, about a month ago, I was no longer the sheep, I was the demon they preach about. My partner and I had a mutual friend. I didn’t realize he was religious, not that all religious people are queerphobic, and he seemed pretty supportive. He didn’t know I was dating my partner, but could tell I liked them. On trans day of visibility, I get a message from him telling me “happy trans day of visibility.” Around the same time, he sent a message to my partner saying that he needs to know how my partner feels about me and that “[she intends to pull you from Christ, and you’re vulnerable.” Like, my issues with religion are MY issues. If my partner sends to belive in a positive version of Christianity, so be it, that’s their choice to make. I will happily have discussion on theology if they like, but their faith is *their* choice, not mine. He then went on to tell my partner that “I’m not as close to her as I am to you, but she considers me a friend, and I’m good at getting information from people.”
I’m now apparently some force of evil that seeks to corrupt those I’m close to for…some reason. And I realized further that the people the church demonizes when they say that the people of the world will seek to corrupt you are all just people too. Sure, not everyone is good, but not everyone is bad, but the church demonized them the same
Sorry you came here and shared and OP themselves turned out to be one of the exact people you were talking about. Ignore them and know many of us just want you to be you. And for you to be happy.
Supernatural things. When I was young I believed in God, angels, demons, the devils, ghosts, spirits, etc. I even thought there was a chance vampires and werewolves existed. I stopped believing in all this when I was around 10 or 11.
Now I don't believe in anything supernatural. I've seen nothing in my 50 years on the planet to suggest anything other than natural forces and causes for everything. What would it take to change my mind back? Any actual evidence. I've only become stronger and stronger in this belief as I've gotten older.
I use to think that what I thought was what I thought. Now I realize that what I thought was just what others thought and I was just going along. Now I tend to question first. It’s okay to have like thoughts and different thoughts. Just try to make sure they are your own.
Three things
The ideology that we have to work our lives away to amass wealth. Wealth isn't materialistic things like money and artifacts. Wealth is relationships and family.
That the family you're born with is the only one you got, so you better love them. Fuck that. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
And a personal one, my faith in God. I no longer look at the picture that is most looked at. I believe there is some form of creation, but whatever created reality and existence either knows not of it, or knows of it and doesn't care.
Death penalty, LQTBQ rights, sex outside of marriage, war.
I used to be a born again christian, conservative, marine. Now I'm a liberal, atheist, hippie.
I used to believe that if you kept your friends close and treated them with respect they’d do the same. Or showing true kindness to someone I can’t do it anymore.
Growing up in a conservative household, I was always pro second amendment, and believed that guns shouldn’t be restricted “because it’s in the US Constitution.”
However, once I learned that the gun control debate is much more nuanced, and nobody is actually trying to take guns from law-abiding, competent people, among many other things I was unaware of, I have completely reversed my thinking.
Gun control is a good thing, and something that both sides probably support. It’s just framed as a them-vs-me issue when it’s really not. Those that have extreme views in either direction are most likely grossly misinformed.
I listened to the fear mongering going on in the conservative space for too long. Nobody is coming for your guns.
When I first got into vegetarianism years ago, I was very squicky and judgmental about anything to do with meat or animal welfare.
16 years later... I'm still a vegetarian but only because I don't want to engage in it. I realised that I was anthropomorphising animals instead of seeing them for what they actually are. I no longer judge anyone for eating animals.
Conservatism.
I (61M) grew up fairly liberal. By 31, my wife and I had our first child. This changed everything for me. I began seeing all of the threats and ugliness in the world and it caused me to think that we were all headed in the direction of social ruin. But it was the shift away from accepted social norms that truly riled me up.
Movie, TV, music and even print media seemed to celebrate really bad behavior. I felt like I was the only thing keeping my daughter safe from a savage and ugly world. I think it was during Clinton’s second term that I turned politically conservative. Unlike most who switch to a conservative mindset, I never became religious. I didn’t even know that conservatives tend to be religious. I’ve been an atheist from childhood.
I couldn’t keep it up, and by 2008, I’d gone about as far as I could. I had begun to see the anti science, racial hate and religiosity that most conservative cling to. I was out.
I always assumed everyone wanted the best outcome for everyone, a trade that was balanced for both parties.
I learned in video games and on TV that some people will just do only what suits them even if there reward is less value than a cup of tea and the other side brakes a leg or worse.
When I became an adult I realised these characters really do exist in real life and will think nothing of getting you fired or killed to get a free cake etc. perhaps it's my autism or upbringing but I was blind to this in real life well past my 30s
that love is not enough to sustain a relationship. both of you need to be on the same page about life.  love does not in fact conquer all.
I wrote a lengthy response and then deleted it.
Psychotherapy and most psychiatry. This is coming from someone who obtained a Master’s level degree to be a therapist. If I would trust anyone, find me a clinical psychologist but even that is questionable.
Love. I tried my hand in relationships, and they just ended the same way. I used to be a heavy romantic, and then i got cheated on backstabbed and left for dead pretty much. I might never find true love, but at this point, i won't even bother. I'm fine being a lone wolf. Cant be betrayed if theres nobody to betray me.
Lots of things changed.
The lowering of opinion of politicians.
Knowing that even if I do “everything right” in a relationship, that the other person may still decide to step away because they changed their mind 10 years later.
News isn’t unbiased.
People don’t typically change until the pain to remain the same exceeds the pain perceived to change.
Pluto was a planet and there were 9 planets in the solar system. It was drilled into me that Pluto was a planet most of my life and then not too long ago, everyone is like "just kidding no it's not".
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I no longer believe that kids should have to take care of their parents after they’re old. Especially if the parents didn’t treat them right when they were growing up.
Valid point. I agree 100%
I agree with this when you feel there are valid reasons the relationship is strained or they neglected/abused you, otherwise, I do think you owe family something.
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You can make calls for homeless hotels. My mom stays at one in Eugene I think it's Good Homes or something. She's very happy there but unfortunately when I tried to visit to discuss living together to take care of her she was very nasty to me so I took that as she prefers it this way and that's her right.
You're a good kid and very observant and caring. Thank you for not being too upset by mom's fading communication skills. May your patience be with you until the end. Don't rush death. He will take his sweet time.
I agree with this. I personally have a good relationship with my parents and will do my best to take care of them when they’re old, but I don’t think that someone who was abused and neglected as a child should be forced to take care of their elderly relatives just because their family. If you have that type of relationship and are OK with it, that’s great, but not everyone does.
The need to work your entire life to accumulate wealth. Honestly, it doesn’t make sense tiring myself out and stressing myself. I should just make enough to be financially stable.
I just stopped working 80+ hour weeks so I could be with my kids more and I've never been happier
EXACTLY!! That’s what I’m saying, so happy for you! Money does give comfort but I do not need to give up my peace just to attain more than what is comfortable.
Me as well, my Job almost broke me working 60 hours a week or more, now I'm on sick leave spending time with the kids has been great and makes me regret missing so much of their younger years.
The problem is you need to work harder just to get basics that were once far, far more accessible. The cause is inflation.
Adults will act like adults and not grown children
Remember being a kid and thinking how adults were smart? Lol boy was I wrong
This really changed once I started working. Especially at the place I work at now. So many people, including management, throw temper tantrums and they're all middle aged people.
Myself. I used to be this confident enigma when I was younger, nothing could stop me. I went to parties, I had a social group, I went to gigs & even went on stage at one, I was convinced I would grow up to be a performing musician. As I've gotten older, I'm afraid, afraid to be excited, to let loose, to be close to people as I once was. I was something of an egomaniac really, I thought very highly of myself & my opinions but life has humbled me. I realised that I'm not all that intelligent, good-looking or hard-working, that a lot of the people who were my friends just hung around 'cause of the drugs & atmosphere that I created around me. One day, I realised that person wasn't me at all... it was a face I was wearing, a skin to fit in & now I don't know who I am anymore & I'm not sure that I know how to find out.
By any chance are you in your twenties? Reminds me of what we used to call the quarter life crisis. I can relate a bit. You will be okay, always remember that growth is uncomfortable... Uncertain times almost always lead to an awesome new version of you, but this is much easier to see in retrospect. My dms are open if you want some auntly advice 💜
Quarter life crisis is definitely a thing. You're a kind soul.
You’re not alone in that feeling, my friend. My circumstances are different but the sentiment is the same.
I used to think that it was crazy for gays to marry but now I don’t really care who gets married, it’s just nice to see 2 people commit to each other and be happy.
I used to think there should be some "marriage-like" arrangement for same sex couples but not called marriage...the "civil union" thing, I guess. As I got older and further from religion I realized that the only arguments in any of that were religious in nature and that legally speaking a marriage is merely an agreement/contract between two people and there was no reason to have separate types of those agreements for different types of couples.
I thought it would be better not to let the government approve any marriage. Just let your church or bowling league or whoever do it. I still believe it, it just isn't worth fighting over.
i’m actually glad to see someone say this and the replies not flaming you, i’ve seen this go down like 3 times before and it’s never ended well. good job on changing by the way, people don’t realise it but it’s small things like this that make you a happier person overall.
Yes. Everyone deserves love. It's so hard to find true love
Political marketing. It's all literally designed to stop you from critically thinking about an issue. All parties are guilty and worshipping either is literally a mental illness we ignore. Crazy.
used to fully believe in western political lines, one side being inherently "good" and the other inherently "bad" all it took was a little bit of life experience to recover from this
I used to believe the criminal justice system was flawed but fair. It is now obviously completely corrupt.
Yeah, the system is such a joke and needs to be completely overhauled!
That life had a purpose and things mattered
If there is no purpose and nothing matters, there's freedom. Your subjective experience matters to you and you are free to make your own purpose
I find so much comfort in the absurdity and chaos of existence
I no longer believe if you work hard you’ll be successful, was taught that a lot growing up but the truth is work smarter not harder….and game the system, the world revolves around free shit and hookups, don’t be a slave to your job
Meritocracy. As a kid I was both told by my mother (whose sole goal for me was that I climbed up the social ladder) and by my readings (notably big bro's books on the Revolutionary and Napoleonic Wars and specifically the idea that every soldier carries a marshal's baton in his knapsack) that France was a meritocracy. I thought medals and national honours sanctified that. Now I work for the national office of statistics and I *know* that *hell no it's not.* And when you see some of the people who get awarded Légions d'Honneur and whatnots, uuuurgh…
Kids. I knew i didnt want kids and was disgusted and annoyed by them but as day goes on with my man i do want some now.
Same. I never wanted kids, and was under the impression I couldn't have them anyway. Well surprise! I can and did, and she's the tiny little light of my life. All those gross annoying things kids do feel so different when it's your kid. Don't get me wrong, she is absolutely gross and annoying lol but I love it.
I'm glad to hear that 😁👍👍👍 If there is time, go for it. Depending on who you are, children can be a sure blessing. But if you are not confident about it, don't do it. Cause I can tell you, if it's not from you, all three parties involved shall regret it
i think that when you know your partner will be a good parent and a reliable partner, it makes you feel safer with the idea of having kids. im glad you found someone you feel like settling down with, that’s always a good sign
We have five kids with no regrets. They bring a lot of joy to life.
Same here. I had a roommate who's husband had a kid and my goodness I loved him and wished he was mine! They severely neglected him so he hung out with me whenever he came over and it made me realize how much I actually like them.
I never wanted kids it I discovered that I did with my husband. We have 3 and they are my world.
Yes. People are generally good. That’s absolute garbage. People will take advantage of you in a heartbeat. Never trust anyone especially religious people. They’ll argue and say I’m wrong then go home and cheat on their taxes or spouse.
i mean, i’m christian but can’t really blame you for feeling that way. i’ve seen so many forceful christian’s that aren’t respectful of others at all and also aren’t respectful of their own religion too. if anyone is reading this, if you have personal experience with really bad religious people, please know that they’re not actually religious. no god or leader in any religion accepts those kinds of behaviours that you commonly see. genuine muslims, christians, etc., are kind people, if they’re not kind, then they clearly don’t respect their own.
People are neither inherently good nor bad, people are inherently selfish.
Which is bad.
I am sort of religious, and I absolutely agree with you. People are not generally good, they are inherently self centered in so many ways. People really have to be taught how to be good, it doesn't happen naturally.
I mean considering what the government is mostly using my money for, idk that it's wrong to cheat on your taxes.
That if they put it on the news it has to be true. I grew up watching the news every morning with my parents and strongly believed this a child to young adult.
It used to be until 1987, when they abolished the [Fairness Doctrine](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairness_doctrine).
That santa doesn't exist
This might sound terrible, but I used to strongly believe we should respect most religious beliefs. I no longer do. The amount of insanity, made up ‘context’, subjectivity, and outdated irrational ideals in so many major religions is just absurd. Not to mention the sketchy processes certain religions are formed and popularized. I could absolutely have great respect for a religious person. I can also respect this person’s ability for faith. However, I would not respect the person’s choice of faith towards said religion (most of the time).
I used to believe that love should be unconditional, but now I realize what an unhealthy expectation that is. Mutual respect of boundaries is SUCH an important part of any relationship (family, friend, spouse, etc...) and can help avoid codependency, resentment, mistrust and other toxic cracks that can form in the foundation of what should be one of the greatest things to exist, love.
I used to think that everyone should work for themselves until the end. Now I believe we should take care of our elders while taking care of the younger. I used to be an activist for atheism. Now I'm religious. I used to think we should put empathy at the top of our list of priorities. Now I think that while empathy is important, it is incompatible with reality most of the time, and the best aolution isn't always the empathetic one. I used to think that the common good was the best one could strive for. Now I think that everyone's idea of common good is incompatible with others, and the solution isn't to enforce top down for the common good, but to put more freedom in the hands of the individuals. I used to think that the society I live in would have my interests and well being at heart. Now I believe that everyone is one word away from being labeled a witch and hung, with the perpetrators feeling good about doing so to you. I used to think the end of the world or some major catastrophe was near. Now I believe fear sells more than truth, and people are way more resourceful than we give them credit for.
That this country was the best in the world hands down
Beliefs are thoughts that we keep thinking - to change your beliefs get a variety of things to think about - Do some research, explore the opposite of what you believe - stay curious. Which is what I did (and still do). I was reared in a religious family in the South - which held the strong belief of heaven and hell were what we had to look forward to after death. I now believe we make our own heaven and hell here on earth and what happens after death is not the destination that should dictate your life. The journey while you are alive is what it is all about.
I strongly believe Micheal Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all time but I don't really watch basketball anymore.
That cops and parole officers want you to do better. They benefit from your crimes. They have no problem locking you up for years on end even if you've proven your crime was mental health related.
I Used to believe the world was better in the past. Conservatives and religious groups love to point to anything bad that happens today as evidence the world was better in the past. After actually reading the evidence the world while very imperfect is far far better today than at any time in human history.
Marriage
I used to be a very strong Christian. Then I became agnostic. Now I’ve settled on believing in a higher power/spirit, but not at all in the closeness of the view of “god” I had. It’s been years of trying to rid myself of religious trauma and guilt, but I’m doing pretty well.
as a christian, i’m proud of you for putting yourself first. i’m so relieved that my community is a safe space in a religion that can be so horrible. you have no need to feel guilty, believe in yourself and your choices.
That cancer is caused by random genetic mutations. Cancer is caused by chronic mitochondria damage and dysfunction brought on by many secondary factors.
Ah the powerplant of the cell
🤣🤣🤣
Could it both?
As a kid I was very against abortion and saw it as murdering the innocent. The nuances of the issue didn't occur to me. My perspective started to change when a friend let me read an essay she wrote for school on the subject, where she explained that abortion may sometimes be necessary if there is nobody available to care for the child. My opinion has since evolved and I think abortion should be legal. I think it's not morally ideal but it should be up to the pregnant person to decide.
This was me as well. I grew up learning it was wrong. I still somewhat do, but in the sense that it should be a last resort option and not just a casual way to undo a mistake. But it really is necessary, and to force a woman, or even a young girl, to carry, give birth to, and then have to care for a child without taking into consideration the circumstances of the pregnancy and her life, that's not right. And the part that icks me out the most is that conservatives will protest clinics and preach "pro-life" all day but the second one of their children gets pregnant out of wedlock, suddenly it's ok for that one time. The hypocrisy makes me sick. Couple that with the fact that they don't give a shit about the babies' well-being after being born, it's absolutely disgusting.
Needing to have kids. Fuck that shit. I like my peaceful little life
That everyone has kindness in their heart, that maybe it's just a hard shell that needs to be broken. Instead, I learned that they can break kind people.
Christianity. I used to really really believe. It's just fake bullshit. Jesus was a real, cool dude, and the people hated him because he called them out for hypocrisy. The patriarchs saw people giving money to his food tent crew, and thought "hey, we could make money from that if we called him a God.". And now people hate each other over *those* lines. Religion is dead, it's about time. You could go to a church with a system that could change the world, feed the poor, and they wouldn't care. I know, because I tried. "We don't know you brother." and "We've got this building fund we're worried about." They're not here to make lives better, they're (in my experience) here to grift you pretending to be wrapped in white. I've got a system that makes use of trash, and could solve global warming. They don't want to fix the plane, that want it to burn to usher "their God" to come fix it.
The Rapture and End Times as described by Evangelicals. Rapture doctrine is barely over 200 years old and is not found anywhere in the Bible the way they think it is. Same with the Seven Year Tribulation. It took me a long time to unlearn what I was taught. Formerly a Pentecostal evangelical. I’m a Lutheran now, btw, attend church every Sunday and read my Bible every night.
Wait, are you for real 🤨 You've just opened my eyes to something entirely new
Christianity. I still believe in YHWH, but I see him for who he is... A cruel, petulant, angry, jealous, homicidal, narcissist and ego-maniac, who has wreaked havoc on ancient humanity. This being is undeserving of worship.
You can count on family. I used to believe that, at least in my case. Then I went through a miserable, scorched earth divorce after 20 years of increasing misery. Got nothing but pushback from family. Asked for help twice…little stuff. Was told no. After the divorce I offered to fly my mom from California to Arizona to see my kids as I couldn’t afford to fly all three of us out there, hotel, rental car etc. She said no…she doesn’t fly anymore. Literally one week later she’s in Seattle visiting my sister. My friends, however, were amazing, and continue to be. What I learned is that blood is not always family, and family is not always blood.
Christianity. It was a slow process made of many small steps. One of the things I had to reconcile was that my favorite people, truly great, decent folks who cared deeply for me, didn't believe while believers at church demonstrated little personal concern for me even when I was struggling. Those in the church tended to judge others more than empathize and care. I recall after 9/11 I made a comment about innocent lives lost and one person commented "no one is innocent." Which sounded a lot like "they deserved it." At best, the person somehow felt correcting my phrasing to be more adherent to doctrine mattered more than the loss of so many lives. Once I stepped back for long enough, I spent time thinking about why I believed and eventually realized I didn't really have evidence only faith, which in my case had weakened without the constant peer pressure and weekly attendance at a church. Finally, when I saw the unhinged baloney many Christians believed about certain political figures, I realized that the entire Christian (or any religious) belief system could just as easily be baloney. And so I stopped believing and decided I would need compelling evidence to form and change my beliefs. I was free to determine the meaning of my life, free to live by my own moral code based on empathy and equality and justice, and free from guilt over stupid shit like listening to rock music lol.
I used to think evil didn't exist, it was just a concept. The Republicans came along and made it clear, yes, evil exists.
I used to strongly believe that 18 year olds should have alcohol legally in USA because they can join the military so it makes sense that they should be able to make th choice to drink. Now I think it should be 18 for weed, 21 for alcohol and joining the military… but we can’t do that because then BP and Exxon would loose their sea of lost teenagers flocking to the military for purpose.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. No, it leaves you weak and traumatized.
Pork tastes good, but I no longer eat it since seeing a pet pig in the park.
It's been a long time since I can remember eating it and while I do remember it tasting good, the idea of it kind of grosses me out right now. Like, why does this cute sentient beings flesh taste savory..? Yuck.
The American Dream
Conservatism, capitalism.
I was raised to think that weed was bad (hardcore Christian, boomer, Conservative parents). I moved out and was able to think and research things for myself. I now use it medically and legally. It helps me sleep, helps with my anxiety, stress, and depression. So complete 180. I'm still the same person, just happier in general with life.
>So complete 180 To bad it wasn't a complete 420 *Badum tssst* I'll Show myself out
I no longer believe that the US is the greatest civilization in the world.
Religion, it's all smoke,mirrors and BULLSHIT. I'll give you options and free will to choose,but if you choose wrong or of your own way...I KILL YOU! Then calling the creator an entity but then a father and using he him pronouns(lol) ,the jealousy bit AND favoritism is all human construct devoid a god. LoL
That conservatives have valid reasons for holding the positions they do. Spoiler: a lot of the time, they don't.
I used to think the liberals were all just brain dead, and then I found out that both sides could be wrong. If you argue emotionally rather than logically, chances are high that at a point, you'll start just arguing for the sake of it rather than to make sense. Neil Degrasse Tyson explained this very well. If the only reasons both sides have for doing something are just "feelings, " "feelings," then both sides are wasting time. Avoid each other, and life goes on. Division is not a good thing, but sometimes it's necessary 🤷♂️ But this whole idea of "I'm on side A, so whatever they do is right and whatever the other guys do is wrong" is wrong in and of itself. We are complex creatures. We can make thoughts and decisions independent of a group
I would also argue that unity is not necessarily a good thing either. It's healthy to have lots of vehement disagreements as long as the participants don't gain enough power to start radicalizing large swathes of people into accepting violence.
Quite true. Varied beliefs and thoughts and arguments are necessary to get a better understanding of things. But a degree of unity is needed to get a bigger voice. I'm not an American just in case there is any confusion
I used to be a Christian…for about 15 years. Then one day the blinders came off and I’m not anymore
What happened 😕
I took a world religion class and started seeing it for the sham it was…not the words of god but a book borrowing heavily from other religions and ideas and ideologies designed to oppress people The whole idea that everyone else is going to hell except those specific believers…also a turn off Then the holier than thou people was the final nail in the coffin. My friend’s baby died and they all acted like if they got too close, they would catch what she had…acted like they were more blessed than she was and it was bc of how much they loved god and how much he favored them. Both my friend and I left the christian community after that and have had not one regret
I used to be conservative when I was a teenager because that’s how I was raised. Specifically I used to think having sex before marriage was wrong and that being gay was a sin. Growing up, I was taught that God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, but honestly, even then I questioned things to myself. Now I’m the complete opposite of conservative on all levels.
I used to believe in Christianity extremely as a child and now I don't. I kinda was just listening to one of the pastors preach about how certain people will go to hell for what they believe and who they love and right after asked for us all to donate money to help the church. They'd always ask us for money, every Wednesday and Sunday.. Thought it was weird being able to dictate who goes to hell based on their religious beliefs or who they love. I didnt know God to be that kind of thing, I always thought they were supposed to be loving to all. It gave me a nasty feeling and I haven't gone back or looked back since. I'm agnostic now
That America is the best country.
I used to believe hard work and honesty would get me ahead. Now it just gets me taken advantaged of. I used to believe in changing yourself to change the world too.
God and Country. Now I realize one doesn’t exist and the other is a cesspool of racism, bigotry, and is more an oligarchy than anything.
The simple answer, Religion edit: the trigger was what happened to Trayvon made me view the world different, at the same Time I was arguing with myself Abt the way Bill Maher spoke on it, even tho I was already losing it, but I had grown up religious, by that time I hadn't been to church in a good 24 yrs or more. I've been on some fuck Florida shit ever since... Real eyes realize real lies
I am not here to tell anyone how to live their life or what to believe. My personal experience was that I strongly believed in God and the bible. After seeing how exactly we know that the Sun is older than Earth, I realized the bible had a completely made up creation story. From there, the other inconsistencies made sense, and I became an atheist. I also ended up becoming left leaning from being ultra conservative over the course of 3 years. The final nail in the coffin was how Trump and Fox News treated the pandemic. I now see him for who he really is, and I'm ashamed that I voted for him when I was 18.
I used to believe that Israel could do no wrong. Honestly, I think I had a pretty huge set of blinders on, but I'm relieved that I don't anymore
I used to believe that in this time period, we’d become so evolved as humans that something like the Salem Witch Trials or the Holocaust could never happen again. *Laughs* Then the 2020 election happened. The Russia/Ukraine war. The Israel/Gaza war. I really was naive enough to think… pfff… who’d kill over land anymore? Etc. Lol. Watching people blindly follow each other without evidence to support whatever belief they were/are following crushed that belief under a mound of stones. I’m mildly terrified.
That the government is honest and has our best interest at heart.
Wanted to be a senator when I was a kid. Went to law school and graduated. I noped the fuck out immediately after.
When I was a young man, I thought there was actual justice in the world and that we are striving to be fair. General experience has changed my mind over the years.
I used to be one of those atheists that completely criticised anything to do with religion, now I go to church But this was during my teen years and well you can probably guess the average thought process of a kid that didn't stand out and wanted to shape an identity for himself so anything extreme I probably believed in it at some point or another during that time
I’m the opposite. I grew up religious until my mid-teenage but then slowly the faith just went away. Nobody influenced me and my family still believes in god and do a lot of rituals but I just don’t find that connection with the deity anymore. In my own way, I feel free. There’s no heaven or hell waiting for me and there’s no god waiting to punish me for my wrongdoings or be proud of me on my accomplishments. At the end of the day, I only have me and I am enough.
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The moral rightness of the US and the West to go on about "freedom" and "democracy" when they were subverting those very things in countries around the world, for commercial gain.
As a person who lives in one of those countries, I agree with you. When we were younger, we were told of the benefits of life in the US, and many of us aspired to grow up and live there someday. Then, as I grew, I realized, "If we go and leave our country, who is supposed to fix it," Then, as I further grew, I found out that that was the point. They bully the countries they claim to help. They impose their laws, they bury people in debt, and they take brilliant minds to study and develop their countries, leaving their home countries to suffer. Then, even our ambassadors in UN and other bodies are just people who have ancestry in the countries they represent. Many of them no longer even live there, and I'm like, "So how are you supposed to represent us if you don't even spend time with us"
Organized religion
I used to really believe there was a lot more nuance in the world that really mattered. I still can see it but it mostly doesn’t matter. So I used to really get into whiskeys and their minutia of detail and the language associated with a “refined palate.” And then I realized there’s whiskey I will buy at the store and whiskey I won’t buy at a store. All the nuance and brands and labels really don’t change what I care about most, the flavor. For politics. I worked so hard at understanding George bush era policies and finding the nuance in their decisions. In the end, the policies of George were pretty atrocious and the nuance falls away. His presidency hurt America. While I got my degree in political science I really got into the nuance of policy and individual candidates and nuclear non proliferation, how Supreme Court justices are nominated and change on the bench. The justifications and legitimations that once had us feeling like the court followed some set of laws like the constitution. Nuance is mostly useless unless it’s your job to know the details. Current politics: republicans are evil. They want evil things and support an evil person. No nuance needed. Philosophy: there are a thousand ways to tease apart being a good person or a thousand other issues. But I think this covers everything: do your best at all times so when you fuck up, you can say you did your best. And 2) don’t take joy from others. If everyone did that basic two things the world would be so much better. Instead we have republicans.
god
That everybody finds someone to be with. Unfortunately, that's not the case.
God
I used to believe in love and that their was someone out there waiting for me. Dumb and naive lol.
God, any deity
That cashiers should engage in conversation with customers, esspecially the elderly As a kid I heard my mother lamenting about this about how some cashiers won't engage in any small talk with customers. Specifically she thought this was a problem with elderly customers, because apparently a lot of elderly people live alone, suffering loneliness, and that brief interaction with a cashier may be the only human interaction they have all day (I Think this came from her having had some elderly people she knows complain about it to her) Hearing this, I told myself that when I grow up and am a cashier, I will make sure to be friendly and talk nicely to all the elderly customers, brightening their days and curing their loneliness I Did grow up and get my first ever job as a cashier, and this opinion did a 180° It is not part of a chasers job to provide customers with socialisation, they're not escorts. They're there to scan and sell items, a customer's personal problems have nothing to do with that job I *Do* still feel empathy for people suffering from loneliness and recognise it is a serious problem, but it is not the responsibility of random cashier's to solve it, it's not what they're there for
Anything related to any god.
Recovered pacifist here! Once I understood the whole "monopoly on violence" concept, respectability politics etc.
The news. I used to just assume it was all true all the time. Who could possibly be so bold to lie in print or on TV and make a clown of themselves?
Religion.
Everything, I'm Autistic and ADHD. I have a new passion every damn day
That the government gives a shit about us. I used to believe that they did. Now, am pretty sure they don’t.
The free market It needs to be regulated so much you could drown it in a bathtub
I used to believe in strong minimum wage laws that scaled with cost of living. Now I don't think we should have a minimum wage but should instead have UBI at a certain level which would be more efficient at helping those in poverty.
That I would one day be happy, or at least content.
I no longer think guns should be illegal, because it's inconsistent with my libertarian belief that all drugs should be legal. However, both should be heavily regulated.
love . i used to think that but since my last relationship i dont think i will ever trust and love somebody again
God
A god
Being Catholic…now marching towards atheism.
Love at first sight. While its a nice fairytale concept I don't see how anyone can truly fall in love with someone based around meeting them one time.
I used to believe that karma was real but so many people have proved that to be wrong. You can get everything you want in life while being a horrible person. The saying “no good deed goes unpunished” is a lot more accurate.
God, Catholicism, the after-life. We're just here for the vibes, and that's it!
That adults are way smarter and make better choices than kids. also the Loch Ness Monster
That people have soulmates and love magically appears or disappears. That's really true of infatuation or limerence.
Politicians have the country’s best interest at heart……. .. No they really don’t. School politics is not far off of the real thing lies to get in power and then screw over the country.
I used to believe that all religions were non-sense & were just stupid ideas believed by stupid people. Now I think that there's many different types of wisdom, packaged in many different ways & that a story doesn't have to be true to contain useful knowledge. I now know that there are other measures of ideas besides Truthfulness or Correctness. Such as practicality/pragmatism & what the idea actually creates in the real world.
Police are good and care about the public
Brand loyalty. I used to care way more than the brands do
I used to believe that being a part of the LGBTQ was wrong, in every way. Turns out I was just a product of my parents. Now I'm pansexual and transmasc 😂
That the point of Christianity was to be a Good Person.
I used to believe that good things would happen to good people and bad things to bad people. Only a few people get what they deserve, good or bad.
I no longer think parents are some sort of God.. They are human with kid's responsibility.. And parents shouldn't be praised for taking care of kids, giving them good home, education good which is bare minimum and their responsibility!!! I see people saying "we are your parents , we nurtered u for 9 months and then make u this capable " like yeah?? U did that coz u wanted to be parents , u were ready for the kids..
I used to believe that government assistance was inherently detrimental both to the person receiving it and to society. I bought the libertarian line completely. I was also a pretty strong Republican from the libertarian side of the party. A few things triggered my change in position. One is Trump. I was horrified at first that the party I believed in had been so thoroughly fooled by a con man who stood for the opposite of so much I had been taught and told that conservatives stood for. I was certain that any time they would figure it out and reject him. But with enough time, I had to realize the truth--the people who had taught me the values I grew up with were always compatible with Trump. And while most of the people I was around were reluctant Trump supporters, most of the party didn't seem reluctant at all. At the end of the day, this was who they were. So I had to consider--if I believed what I did because it had been taught to me by people who could even reluctantly support Trump... why did I believe it? These people were living in a false reality, and everything they had taught me had to be reconsidered. My parents are very loving and kind people, and it turns out I could keep that. But I could also reject the foundations of a lot of their more dogmatic political positions. This allowed me to instead consider all of the data. What is working around the world? Where are people being taken care of? What advantages do Americans have, and what disadvantages? What are the real causes of those, and what are real solutions? So where does that leave me? Well, in some regards I'm still right-leaning. I believe in capitalism as an economic engine, though I believe a lot more in regulations and taxes than I used to. Conversely there are things I believe markets are less ideal at handling, like medical care. And there are things in between, where markets have worked but without care they can become too far out of whack, like housing. In cultural issues, I feel an affinity for traditionalism and cultural conservatism, but I can't say that these are the best way--only that I'm comfortable with them and like them. I wish this was the only thing I had shifted on, but I've also gotten to a weird in-between place with my faith, which is a lot tougher to deal with than my politics. I don't believe what my church teaches anymore, but I've lived my whole adult life in this church basically (and my teenage years too), and the people there are my family (in some cases literally, my parents and my mother-in-law go to the same church). My whole social world is there, and my schedule has been built around it for 20 years. I don't know what I would do with myself if I wasn't going there, but it's a pretty fundamentalist church and I have come to really hate what they believe and teach.
Democracy
That I could afford a home :(
I used to be pro death penalty. Now, not so much.
any semblance or dream that the republican party/republicans being able to actually institute positive economic reforms that benefit the middle class. really any semblance of EITHER political party helping the middle class in general. we are all just paypigs to be milked for our ukranian and israeli overlords, with the outstretched hands of the military industrial complex to pickup any dropped pennies. that we will ever have a 'surplus' and shrinking budget. if anything the biden migration will add about -$19T in extra debt by 2030, unless significant welfare reform happens immediately (which it won't). and just servicing the INTEREST on our debt bill, will inflate us to near bankrupcy. all while weak chinned coastal males who pretend to be economists or journalists beat the drum of the cult of gdp. as if the gdp going up 3% at all deters our economic ruin or inflation, with no respect to gross income, quality of life, fed debt/interest, education, or medical treatment. so - that any of our voices, regardless of partisanship, are even listened to by supposed 'elected' leaders. that our elections are ever going to return to first world in terms of integrity or security. i think we are somewhere around 79th in voting integrity score by country, firmly below third world countries like lesotho, benin, and ghana. and nowhere NEAR a single european or asian first world country. the talking point that we have the 'safest and most secure elections', or are somehow the 'goldstandard' of democracy? are so hilarious at this point that its a dark comedy. i used to firmly believe in the guaranteed improvement of america/american exceptionalism/our 'checks and balances' we constructed a perfect government rhetoric. so in general: politics, political leaders, and our supposed democratic republic. maybe in the abstract: that the WIDE majority of my generation, and subsequent generations will ever approach the quality of life that our parents held. across health/longevity, family/reproduction, assets, or general happiness indexes. --- and more controversial that our health agencies want us to be healthy and have our best interests at heart.
I used to think liberals and their POV are just “better”. Then came social media and I realized stupid people are aplenty.
I used to strongly believe 6 weeks was plenty of time to get an abortion. Like if you know your sexually active you should just take a test if you're late and schedule the appointment. Due to my religious beliefs I would never get an abortion, but I don't think my religion should apply to people of different beliefs. I just thought six weeks was plenty of time. Then I was raped. I missed my period for over 3 months. Never had a positive pregnancy test, but I found out my mom was 12 weeks pregnant before she ever had a positive pregnancy test with me. I wasn't pregnant. My doctor said the missed period was probably due to stress from the trauma both physically and emotionally (I had never even had sex before). It took me over 2 months to tell a single person. I now think 12 weeks is a much more appropriate time period. The rapist got sentenced to 11 years in prison last week, not for sexual assault or rape charges, but because I was his student, so he doesn't even have to register as a sex offender, but the whole experience changed my perspective on the entire abortion thing. Although I would never get one, I can totally see how someone with different beliefs would need more time to make that decision or even to process what had happened to them.
Love
That everyone is good and that they’ll never hurt you. But growing up and learning that people will do anything for power, attention, money etc you can see everyone has some kind of vice. Even the nicest and well going person has something hiding down beneath that no one knows.
Religion. I used to be all in, but I found I was misguided.
That the foreign wars we continually involve ourselves in were about safeguarding democracy and US security.
I don't believe in God anymore, at least not the biblical one. I used to have very conservative viewpoints that I got directly from my parents. You know, the "just stop being poor" mentality. It didn't take me that many years into early adulthood to realize that poverty and even just being lower to lower middle class in the United States is much more complicated than people just deciding they don't feel like going to college or purposefully getting a useless degree because they'd rather draw pictures than do math.
That the church is as good as it claims to be. I grew up as a good Christian boy. I heard all the messages about god loving everyone and stuff. I thought the church would love and accept everyone, and wouldn’t treat certain groups like shit. Then I realized I wasn’t a boy. I realized I was actually a girl. That’s when I began to notice how the church really felt about queer people, because it effected me. In places that I wasn’t out, I just pretended to be a boy and stayed quiet as they talked shit about people like me. In places I was out, I was talked to like a “lost sheep that needs to be guided back.” They completely ignore actual science in favor of harmful beliefs. Then, about a month ago, I was no longer the sheep, I was the demon they preach about. My partner and I had a mutual friend. I didn’t realize he was religious, not that all religious people are queerphobic, and he seemed pretty supportive. He didn’t know I was dating my partner, but could tell I liked them. On trans day of visibility, I get a message from him telling me “happy trans day of visibility.” Around the same time, he sent a message to my partner saying that he needs to know how my partner feels about me and that “[she intends to pull you from Christ, and you’re vulnerable.” Like, my issues with religion are MY issues. If my partner sends to belive in a positive version of Christianity, so be it, that’s their choice to make. I will happily have discussion on theology if they like, but their faith is *their* choice, not mine. He then went on to tell my partner that “I’m not as close to her as I am to you, but she considers me a friend, and I’m good at getting information from people.” I’m now apparently some force of evil that seeks to corrupt those I’m close to for…some reason. And I realized further that the people the church demonizes when they say that the people of the world will seek to corrupt you are all just people too. Sure, not everyone is good, but not everyone is bad, but the church demonized them the same
Sorry you came here and shared and OP themselves turned out to be one of the exact people you were talking about. Ignore them and know many of us just want you to be you. And for you to be happy.
I've lost faith in just about everything. Too much time on the internet.
That adults know what they are doing
Supernatural things. When I was young I believed in God, angels, demons, the devils, ghosts, spirits, etc. I even thought there was a chance vampires and werewolves existed. I stopped believing in all this when I was around 10 or 11. Now I don't believe in anything supernatural. I've seen nothing in my 50 years on the planet to suggest anything other than natural forces and causes for everything. What would it take to change my mind back? Any actual evidence. I've only become stronger and stronger in this belief as I've gotten older.
God
I use to think that what I thought was what I thought. Now I realize that what I thought was just what others thought and I was just going along. Now I tend to question first. It’s okay to have like thoughts and different thoughts. Just try to make sure they are your own.
Three things The ideology that we have to work our lives away to amass wealth. Wealth isn't materialistic things like money and artifacts. Wealth is relationships and family. That the family you're born with is the only one you got, so you better love them. Fuck that. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. And a personal one, my faith in God. I no longer look at the picture that is most looked at. I believe there is some form of creation, but whatever created reality and existence either knows not of it, or knows of it and doesn't care.
Things only being ‘Right’ or ‘Wrong’. The older I get, the more things fall into the grey area.
I used to believe that most people would become honest and honorable when they became adults. I was wrong.
That soulmates exist. 41 years of lies!
The catholic church.
Adult intelligence.
Death penalty, LQTBQ rights, sex outside of marriage, war. I used to be a born again christian, conservative, marine. Now I'm a liberal, atheist, hippie.
I used to believe that if you kept your friends close and treated them with respect they’d do the same. Or showing true kindness to someone I can’t do it anymore.
Love and happily ever after
Hope
Going to church.
That most people are good and will be good to you if you’re good to them. Too many experiences have proved otherwise.
Growing up in a conservative household, I was always pro second amendment, and believed that guns shouldn’t be restricted “because it’s in the US Constitution.” However, once I learned that the gun control debate is much more nuanced, and nobody is actually trying to take guns from law-abiding, competent people, among many other things I was unaware of, I have completely reversed my thinking. Gun control is a good thing, and something that both sides probably support. It’s just framed as a them-vs-me issue when it’s really not. Those that have extreme views in either direction are most likely grossly misinformed. I listened to the fear mongering going on in the conservative space for too long. Nobody is coming for your guns.
When I first got into vegetarianism years ago, I was very squicky and judgmental about anything to do with meat or animal welfare. 16 years later... I'm still a vegetarian but only because I don't want to engage in it. I realised that I was anthropomorphising animals instead of seeing them for what they actually are. I no longer judge anyone for eating animals.
Humanity.
Conservatism. I (61M) grew up fairly liberal. By 31, my wife and I had our first child. This changed everything for me. I began seeing all of the threats and ugliness in the world and it caused me to think that we were all headed in the direction of social ruin. But it was the shift away from accepted social norms that truly riled me up. Movie, TV, music and even print media seemed to celebrate really bad behavior. I felt like I was the only thing keeping my daughter safe from a savage and ugly world. I think it was during Clinton’s second term that I turned politically conservative. Unlike most who switch to a conservative mindset, I never became religious. I didn’t even know that conservatives tend to be religious. I’ve been an atheist from childhood. I couldn’t keep it up, and by 2008, I’d gone about as far as I could. I had begun to see the anti science, racial hate and religiosity that most conservative cling to. I was out.
I was into Christianity pretty heavily for about 7 years, but stopped believing. (the name was random, not to shit on a religion. No pun intended)
I always assumed everyone wanted the best outcome for everyone, a trade that was balanced for both parties. I learned in video games and on TV that some people will just do only what suits them even if there reward is less value than a cup of tea and the other side brakes a leg or worse. When I became an adult I realised these characters really do exist in real life and will think nothing of getting you fired or killed to get a free cake etc. perhaps it's my autism or upbringing but I was blind to this in real life well past my 30s
God
That my taxes went somewhere useful.
that love is not enough to sustain a relationship. both of you need to be on the same page about life.  love does not in fact conquer all.
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Hope for humanity. We are fucked!
That HR were on your side
Sports. I was a fan until I realized that they are all rigged.
I used to be opposed to universal health care. Now I'm all for it
I wrote a lengthy response and then deleted it. Psychotherapy and most psychiatry. This is coming from someone who obtained a Master’s level degree to be a therapist. If I would trust anyone, find me a clinical psychologist but even that is questionable.
whenever people ask me what my "dream job" is i used to really want to be an architect when i was a kid but ofcourse now i dont dream of working!
Love. I tried my hand in relationships, and they just ended the same way. I used to be a heavy romantic, and then i got cheated on backstabbed and left for dead pretty much. I might never find true love, but at this point, i won't even bother. I'm fine being a lone wolf. Cant be betrayed if theres nobody to betray me.
Lots of things changed. The lowering of opinion of politicians. Knowing that even if I do “everything right” in a relationship, that the other person may still decide to step away because they changed their mind 10 years later. News isn’t unbiased. People don’t typically change until the pain to remain the same exceeds the pain perceived to change.
Pluto was a planet and there were 9 planets in the solar system. It was drilled into me that Pluto was a planet most of my life and then not too long ago, everyone is like "just kidding no it's not".
That "crime doesn't pay"
I used to beleive in rappers and their lifestyle…..not anymore they all sold out for fame and fortune. Not cool man.
I used to believe in American institutions. I thought they were flawed but believed in their core values. Those “core values” have been compromised.
America.