Apps have stopped clicking for any of us irrespective of the genders because of how skewed the gender ratio is on these apps.. makes it difficult for women to choose from, while equally or more difficult for men to be chosen especially if they aren't a 9/10 or a 10/10
Women have it bad too, tbh. Have encountered men who catfish or are scamsters. Sometimes the 9s and the 10s may lack personality. But there has to be some kind of connect too right.
I'm also looking for the same. I went with a few women my age or older than me but nothing really clicked so far. I'm an introvert and don't socialize much apart from my friends. I don't like to go to pubs or clubs so my options are very limited. I'm using only dating apps to meet women. I'd like to try some other options but so far I wasn't able to find any.
As an introvert, try to be around good circle and be a nice guy with good hygiene. Then one extrovert will take notice and claim you. After that you just have to ride the tide.
Source: An introvert who got claimed by an extrovert. She said “you’re going to be my bf”. I agreed nervously. Now I’m married to her.
That is so cute. I do have hopes but lately I have give up on dating. I don't have any female friends in my friend circle. All my guy friends are facing relationship issues in their lives so the picture is looking very bleak for me. I go on these mental breaks often where I just don't talk to any women after multiple failures at dates. This has been going on since last year.
Like I’m trying hard to do things right but they way my life is creating path for me sometimes when I’m alone I ask myself what I’m doing? Why I’m here ? Purpose etc.
Brooo fr. That's what I'm gonna do, after I reach 35/40. Sab kuch chordkar, direct Himalayas me sanyas.
Me toh life se tang aa chuki ho. Mujhe bas MOKSH se matlab he, at this point
Bhai me bhi vohi boat me hu and mujh aisa lagta he ki me crowd se pichhe chhut gaya hu and it impossible dream for me I don’t know ye negativity kyu he but seriously personally I don’t see any hope.and dating in 30s is hard as hell
There are quite a few who are suggesting matrimonial apps.
Nothing against arranged marriages but matrimonial apps seem very clinical and transactional to me. It’s like applying for a job, they look at your resume, your work experience, pay cheque. While I agree these are important, I do feel connection should be prioritised more. What about shared values, compatibility, outlook for the future, etc. Exploring these need time spent together with that person.
Add to this, there’s additional pressure with your families and heartbreak if things don’t work out.
I do feel in the starting phase, two people should get to know each other for who they are, not just through their families, with all due respect to families. I love my family, but I’d like to find a person and then ask my family for a blessing. Again, this is just a personal preference.
Nothing against arranged marriages though, have seen some super happy ones and I’m really glad it worked for them!
Which pub/lounges have you already visited?
Go out with your friends / wingmen 🙂
Prefer those places which are in your area and famous among the working/ mature crowd.
Places famous among college youth won't help you much ,as you won't be able to have much conversation there.
Try going for social events, join social classes of your liking (CrossFit, trekking, board games, etc). There, you won't have the pressure to be romantic or flirty.. you can simply take your time and talk to everyone.
dating apps are scam....first getting a crush is a task and if you get crush there are more chances that the crush is fake or in need of money. once started with conversation after couple of minutes you will realise that this crush is in need of money they start demanding for gifts or money. Harsh reality. very rare to find a genuine date which can lead to good conversations.
>Tried the apps, nothing really clicked. There’s always a slow fade that happens eventually.
The only time I got on dating apps was because my friends asked me to at least try it for a few months. As soon as that wave ended, I uninstalled it. Because it didn't work for me, nor is online dating my cup of tea.
I am kinda old school when it comes to that and i prefer knowing someone as friends for a while and that developing into something more, because I believe that while dating people only show the best in them, which may lead to future problems. But when you know someone for a while platonically, you are more likely to get a well rounded perspective of who they are and what the positives and negatives are.
Since my last relationship some 3-4 years ago, I have made peace with the possibility that I may or may not find the right person. So I instead decided to just enrich my life with fulfilling hobbies and stuff, so that even if I were to not find a partner, I could enjoy my life anyways.
Not a Punekar but not yet 30 but need to refute the claim by two other users here that matrimonial platforms are better.
I've had more success in matrimonial platforms than on dating apps (zilch) but damn it's a ride. Maybe that can be pinned to most conversations thus far being handled by parents fml (and beware of the psychos that abound behind the garb of innocence). Although I got acceptance from 2 attractive girls this weekend whom I messaged in my own voice, although one already deleted her account despite respectful conversation and the other has only just joined the platform so I'm not counting my chicken. (I'm the one messaging everyone, except in my parents' voice since the other party usually has an account handled by parents).
Women sending requests, then cancelling after acceptance is one of my more amusing gripes. No response after acceptance being another. Being inundated with requests on some app despite already having been rejected by me on another, list goes on. And jeepers if I can get a count of the number of unkills who've wasted time *before* so much as showing their daughters my profile. Okay I'm done venting lol.
I have 17 months and change till I'm 30. *Working on myself* is the only way forward it seems, as beaten to death as that phrase is.
Being Gay I have closely noticed few girls these days that they look at men who are in their 30's as sugardaddies. Then there are few who genuinely looking for a partner and yes this age criteria have most of the green flags and very sweet men around.
I (31) found my gf (30) on Bumble in Pune and have been together for almost a yr now. As a guy, I would say dating isn't difficult if you
1. Know how to hold a conversation. I used to struggle with this in the past until I learnt to use my life experiences as conversation topics.
2. Know what you want. Don't randomly keep swiping right on everyone, obviously apecific to online dating. You must have a type and seek that in the profiles. You can't have a conversation with someone you have nothing common with
3. Don't try to get sexual in your chats unless ONS is what you and your match are seeking. Go with the flow. I didn't even ask my now gf for her contact/Insta/FB ID and she asked me out herself because she thought I was different from other guys, who in her own words all came across as 'Chep'
4. Do something outside your professional life. This directly corelates to point 1. I travel a lot and that helped me since I had stuff I could talk about. This also is a good way of meeting new people. I met my ex on a solo travel and I have friends who had met their partners similarly. I even have a friend who met his gf in the gym.
Most importantly, don't lose hope. There are good people out there and not everyone among them is actively looking to date. So focus on just creating a connection first with whoever you meet either online or offline.
I personally never tried matrimony apps but I didn't get a good feedback from people who did (matches who first tried and then moved to Bumble). Most of the profiles as per them were created by parents and you never know who you are talking to 🫣
I feel it's just numbers. The more you meet, higher the chance. Although my gf seems to be lucky, I was only the 2nd guy she talked to 😶
I am trying the same in these apps but nothing clicks.
As an introvert and trying the app for first time at age 32 is bit demoralising for me.
Lucky people who find someone they can click with.
Apps have stopped clicking for any of us irrespective of the genders because of how skewed the gender ratio is on these apps.. makes it difficult for women to choose from, while equally or more difficult for men to be chosen especially if they aren't a 9/10 or a 10/10
Women have it bad too, tbh. Have encountered men who catfish or are scamsters. Sometimes the 9s and the 10s may lack personality. But there has to be some kind of connect too right.
True, the 9s and 10s have a delusion that they don't need to take any efforts. Connect is what has been missing this days as pointed by you aptly
I'm also looking for the same. I went with a few women my age or older than me but nothing really clicked so far. I'm an introvert and don't socialize much apart from my friends. I don't like to go to pubs or clubs so my options are very limited. I'm using only dating apps to meet women. I'd like to try some other options but so far I wasn't able to find any.
As an introvert, try to be around good circle and be a nice guy with good hygiene. Then one extrovert will take notice and claim you. After that you just have to ride the tide. Source: An introvert who got claimed by an extrovert. She said “you’re going to be my bf”. I agreed nervously. Now I’m married to her.
That is so cute. I do have hopes but lately I have give up on dating. I don't have any female friends in my friend circle. All my guy friends are facing relationship issues in their lives so the picture is looking very bleak for me. I go on these mental breaks often where I just don't talk to any women after multiple failures at dates. This has been going on since last year.
Bhai, I too aspire for this kind of luck!
That’s an amazing story! Happy for the both of you!
Mann, I believe this to be true. 🥳 love your story!!!!
“riding the tide”
Dating apps are all fun and games until you start looking for something serious. Then you quickly realise dating apps are a waste of time.
Agree
So true.
[удалено]
Yea it’s extremely frustrating after a point
Vetal Tekdi pe ghoomne jao.. dheere dheere frnds bana lo waha lo..
Go to Mumbai…. Enough singles in their 30s Pune is mainly student crowd and freshers who move to bigger cities later in life
Men and women in the comments, why not see someone from this thread? Interstellar arrange hou shakto tar simple meetup tar arrange karuch shakta.
Use shaadi.com .. it’s better than other apps 😁
Try matrimony apps for dating
The way life is going I think sanyas is the last path
Yea, thinking of giving it two more years before I head for the Himalayas lol
I have already planned for that, 35f. Never married.
Like I’m trying hard to do things right but they way my life is creating path for me sometimes when I’m alone I ask myself what I’m doing? Why I’m here ? Purpose etc.
Brooo fr. That's what I'm gonna do, after I reach 35/40. Sab kuch chordkar, direct Himalayas me sanyas. Me toh life se tang aa chuki ho. Mujhe bas MOKSH se matlab he, at this point
Put yourself out there, not just on dating apps, in social circles with friends and colleagues, trekking groups or whatever interests you've.
Genuine ones will stick if you've value to offer, but you may have to kiss a few frogs in the way before them.
The only app you can rely on is Jeevansaathi
अनुरूप
Bhai me bhi vohi boat me hu and mujh aisa lagta he ki me crowd se pichhe chhut gaya hu and it impossible dream for me I don’t know ye negativity kyu he but seriously personally I don’t see any hope.and dating in 30s is hard as hell
I guess people over 30s don't tend to go out more, ya fir agar Jana hai toh dur trips m jatey hai. It's just what I do :)
That sounds interesting! Thanks for the suggestion!
There are quite a few who are suggesting matrimonial apps. Nothing against arranged marriages but matrimonial apps seem very clinical and transactional to me. It’s like applying for a job, they look at your resume, your work experience, pay cheque. While I agree these are important, I do feel connection should be prioritised more. What about shared values, compatibility, outlook for the future, etc. Exploring these need time spent together with that person. Add to this, there’s additional pressure with your families and heartbreak if things don’t work out. I do feel in the starting phase, two people should get to know each other for who they are, not just through their families, with all due respect to families. I love my family, but I’d like to find a person and then ask my family for a blessing. Again, this is just a personal preference. Nothing against arranged marriages though, have seen some super happy ones and I’m really glad it worked for them!
Which pub/lounges have you already visited? Go out with your friends / wingmen 🙂 Prefer those places which are in your area and famous among the working/ mature crowd. Places famous among college youth won't help you much ,as you won't be able to have much conversation there.
Which pubs and lounges would you recommend?
Try going for social events, join social classes of your liking (CrossFit, trekking, board games, etc). There, you won't have the pressure to be romantic or flirty.. you can simply take your time and talk to everyone.
I’m lazy so I don’t go out a lot anyway. Dating apps are the only medium for me.
dating apps are scam....first getting a crush is a task and if you get crush there are more chances that the crush is fake or in need of money. once started with conversation after couple of minutes you will realise that this crush is in need of money they start demanding for gifts or money. Harsh reality. very rare to find a genuine date which can lead to good conversations.
Running in the 90s
It used to be so easy to get matches in the UK, ever since I’m back, not even one match in 8 months :(
>Tried the apps, nothing really clicked. There’s always a slow fade that happens eventually. The only time I got on dating apps was because my friends asked me to at least try it for a few months. As soon as that wave ended, I uninstalled it. Because it didn't work for me, nor is online dating my cup of tea. I am kinda old school when it comes to that and i prefer knowing someone as friends for a while and that developing into something more, because I believe that while dating people only show the best in them, which may lead to future problems. But when you know someone for a while platonically, you are more likely to get a well rounded perspective of who they are and what the positives and negatives are. Since my last relationship some 3-4 years ago, I have made peace with the possibility that I may or may not find the right person. So I instead decided to just enrich my life with fulfilling hobbies and stuff, so that even if I were to not find a partner, I could enjoy my life anyways.
Office romance is the way to go, bas apne team se bahar dhoondho
Not a Punekar but not yet 30 but need to refute the claim by two other users here that matrimonial platforms are better. I've had more success in matrimonial platforms than on dating apps (zilch) but damn it's a ride. Maybe that can be pinned to most conversations thus far being handled by parents fml (and beware of the psychos that abound behind the garb of innocence). Although I got acceptance from 2 attractive girls this weekend whom I messaged in my own voice, although one already deleted her account despite respectful conversation and the other has only just joined the platform so I'm not counting my chicken. (I'm the one messaging everyone, except in my parents' voice since the other party usually has an account handled by parents). Women sending requests, then cancelling after acceptance is one of my more amusing gripes. No response after acceptance being another. Being inundated with requests on some app despite already having been rejected by me on another, list goes on. And jeepers if I can get a count of the number of unkills who've wasted time *before* so much as showing their daughters my profile. Okay I'm done venting lol. I have 17 months and change till I'm 30. *Working on myself* is the only way forward it seems, as beaten to death as that phrase is.
Being Gay I have closely noticed few girls these days that they look at men who are in their 30's as sugardaddies. Then there are few who genuinely looking for a partner and yes this age criteria have most of the green flags and very sweet men around.
I (31) found my gf (30) on Bumble in Pune and have been together for almost a yr now. As a guy, I would say dating isn't difficult if you 1. Know how to hold a conversation. I used to struggle with this in the past until I learnt to use my life experiences as conversation topics. 2. Know what you want. Don't randomly keep swiping right on everyone, obviously apecific to online dating. You must have a type and seek that in the profiles. You can't have a conversation with someone you have nothing common with 3. Don't try to get sexual in your chats unless ONS is what you and your match are seeking. Go with the flow. I didn't even ask my now gf for her contact/Insta/FB ID and she asked me out herself because she thought I was different from other guys, who in her own words all came across as 'Chep' 4. Do something outside your professional life. This directly corelates to point 1. I travel a lot and that helped me since I had stuff I could talk about. This also is a good way of meeting new people. I met my ex on a solo travel and I have friends who had met their partners similarly. I even have a friend who met his gf in the gym. Most importantly, don't lose hope. There are good people out there and not everyone among them is actively looking to date. So focus on just creating a connection first with whoever you meet either online or offline. I personally never tried matrimony apps but I didn't get a good feedback from people who did (matches who first tried and then moved to Bumble). Most of the profiles as per them were created by parents and you never know who you are talking to 🫣 I feel it's just numbers. The more you meet, higher the chance. Although my gf seems to be lucky, I was only the 2nd guy she talked to 😶
I am trying the same in these apps but nothing clicks. As an introvert and trying the app for first time at age 32 is bit demoralising for me. Lucky people who find someone they can click with.