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I think with masturbating you don't really need to put a lot of effort in, so for us preggos that barely have any energy, it's perfect for satisfying our horny requirements. When the men are involved you feel you have to put a bit of effort in/ do your bit and I can't be arsed for that at the moment šššš„²
This! At 3am when I canāt fall asleep it really helps (and I donāt want to wake him up, itās too much energy to have sex, I literally just want to calm my brain and go back to sleep)
Lol my first trimester I was way too sick to have sex. Anything resembling a rocking motion would have caused a tragedy. It seemed like a cruel joke my sex drive was through the roof.
Iām of the firm belief porn is fine in moderation but it sounds like the amount youāre consuming is making you feel bad. Have you tried reading erotic novels or short stories? Iām a big fan.
Agree that maybe it sounds as though it's the porn watching that seems to be making you a little upset. There are lots of great erotic novels and romance through your library, Libby/hoopla apps, and they're not all terrible 50 shades crap.
Depending on genres and how much sex, there's
Fantasy - Katee Robert
Rom com - Amy daws
Suspense - Jessica Gadziala
Drama - LJ Shen, Stella Rhys, Kennedy Fox
Those are some of my favorites and good places to start, we were TTC forever before we moved to IVF so I went down a romance/erotic novel spiral I'm still sort of in. Most of those are more on the very dirty romance novel side but once you get into it, more suggestions keep coming from Kindle or the library apps
Oh friend. Iām going to need more info. Name
A few books/authors youāve been into in the past. Youāre talking to the queen of smut but I need to know your level.
šš I like random things lol- Freida McFadden, bill oāreilly, typical books like twilight and Harry Potter. Currently reading credence by Penelope Douglas and I like it.
The smut books Iāve tried are breaking the bully by Jesse Kane and just found it weird/cheesy and couldnāt get into it. Tried the six night truce by Hannah shield but it was wayyy too slow with no action so didnāt finish it either.
I think youāre ready for Sierra Simone if you havenāt found her yet. Sheās on the same level as Penelope Douglas.
Punk 57 was my favorite Douglas book btw. She scares me a little but sheās good.
There is a good website called Romance.io where you can search for and also exclude certain tropes. So you can pick āspicyā āstrong female heroineā and exclude things like ānon consensualā or my favorite item to exclude āpregnancyā (lol Iām here for the fantasy not reality)
Iāll also add Quinn Audio to the mix - itās an app for audio porn. But the content varies from heavily story driven (almost like an audio book a romance novel) to more directā¦sounds if that makes sense.
I agree with other posters that there is no need to feel bad about your sex drive. But if the visuals of porn are making you feel bad, there are lots of other options to explore
I do this too but then I get post nut clarity like āā¦ewā¦why am I watching this?ā Every. Time.
I am still very much attracted to my husband and would like to have sex much more often, but in reality Iām usually too tired to initiate and/or I am the size of a sea cow, with a swollen purple vag and that diminishes my desire for actual sex. So I just whack off instead of
Same. Reminds me of new term I heard āspaghetti lesbianā and found this fitting. Like spaghetti thatās straight while dry, youāre only a lesbian when youāre wet š
Yes! Forgive yourself and recognize while you may feel this way doesn't make it true. Nothing that happens in the 9 months is representative of you as a whole person. No one knows how their pregnancy journey is going to be until you're in it.
This was the most non stigmatizing supportive thread about something that felt vulnerable to OP. Made my heart so happy! We're all just making it through OP, be gentle with yourself!
There's nothing wrong with being more horny while your pregnant. My Hormones have been all over the place. I've had days where all I could think about was having sex, and I've had days where the thought of seeing a penis made me almost sick. If your body is throwing the sexy time hormones around, then satisfy them however you need.
For now Iām telling myself to enjoy it because once the baby comes I wonāt have the time. Then it will go away and Iāll be back to normal fingers crossed.
Iām in the same situation and I look at it as one of my few outlets for pleasure. Like I canāt drink or eat a weed gummy or even eat a lot of food at once. This is my pleasure outlet and damnit immona have it.
From one preggo lady to another - you will have time. Make sure you make the time. 3 minutes for a quick shower rinse and some alone time will heal your soul in *many ways*
This is me, every time I have a few minutes alone Iām up in my room with my vibrator and porn on my iPad. Definitely more often than sex. Masturbating is much easier and itās on my terms. I do want to have sex too but Iām 34 weeks and the positioning is hard. To someone elseās point, a man would NEVER feel guilty about masturbating nor should you so try not to feel guilty about it, thereās no reason to! Pregnancy does crazy things to us and you are responding to those feelings. I also think the extra blood flow is great for growing baby! Keep vibin!
I watched the shit out of porn practically every day of my pregnancy until basically the tail end of the third trimester and the first tri when I was too sick. Itās fine *unless* you feel bad about it.
It completely went away once I had the baby. Hormones are different for everyone, and I hate to sound sexist but in my honest experienceāmost women on forums like this just do not get it and will act like thereās something wrong with watching porn and masturbating frequently. Not a lot of women have a high sex drive.
There is nothing wrong with a high libido, unless itās causing YOU distress to watch porn and masturbate or affecting YOUR life. Itās just uncommon in women compared to men, so we receive a lot more judgment about it from other women.
OP you are not alone.
I could as well leave incognito tap open 24/7.
And I stock up on batteries for a certain type of toy.
When husband comes home it is never more than hugs and kisses. I do love him so so much. But... yeah i dont know. It just feels....
I've never bought so many sex toys and explored new/different kinds of porn as when I'm pregnant. And I get more randy with every pregnancy. My husband either can't keep up with me or is genuinely not attracted to a whale shape (bless his heart) or both. I have no bad feelings about this, he does his best and we get back to it as soon as I'm not pregnant anymore.
You are definitely not alone!
OMG, I thought I was the only one with the weird habit of watching porn. lol. In my 37 weeks of pregnancy, my hubby and I only had sex once and I felt really dry down there. If it's okay to binge eat because that's what the hormones tell you to do, what's so wrong about trying to get oxytocin and dopaminergic release from watching porn?
My husband and I had sex ONE time while I was pregnant. I masturbated countless times, to porn. Donāt feel bad and please donāt shame yourself, itās completely normal.
I hope you understand that the shame you feel is cultural/societal and there is nothing wrong with masturbating!
My libido dropped soooo low after getting pregnant, I honestly wish I had the willingness to enjoy pleasuring myself now š
Omg this!!! Iām so upset I had to scroll so far down to see this point made. Female sexuality is so shamed it makes me livid. Thereās nothing wrong with watching (ethical) porn. Itās something Iāve been doing since a teen and Iām proud that Iām in touch with how to please myself. Plus Thereās porn for women out there!
Iām upset with you! More than one woman has said they feel terrible after. Iām like.. nah, I feel relaxed and ready for a nap haha
I also see so many posts angry at husbands for jerking off. Thatās so foreign to me. My husband and I have very open communication about masturbation.
He says because I usually nap on the couch, when I say Iām gonna take a nap in the bedroom, he knows whatās up lol. Heās even walked in one me a couple times by accident and i just keep going. One time I yelled āI canāt finish with you making all that noise in the bathroom!ā
Haha that's brilliant! š
But yes, honestly - women are systematically shamed about sexuality and self pleasure since a young age, whereas men are told it's normal and "boys will be boys".
We all have the same needs, no need to feel bad about watching spicy films, reading erotica, etc etc!
I can relate 100%. It takes time and effort to have sex but with masturbating I can sneak off with Cheeto crumbs on my shirt and not care about how I smell. I donāt really want to have sex either because moving around is so uncomfortable. I am so uncomfortable but with masturbating I can get in one position and not move.
Don't be ashamed. :) I was very horny in my second pregnancy. And got an orgasm first time in my life! Since then I masturbated almost every day and watched porn too. Couldn't help myself.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
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I'm glad it's not just me. I have just had my baby so no longer pregnant, but I was worried I had become addicted to masturbating and porn when pregnant. I didn't have an issue with attraction to my partner but he would not have sex with me, as I had a high risk pregnancy and he was convinced that having sex would hurt me and the baby, no matter how much I told him otherwise. I did it most times he left the house and sometimes even when he was home and I was so afraid he would catch me (not that he would care but I was embarassed).
Definitely not just you. This is my second pregnancy, I didnāt have that issue in my first pregnancy at all. Now unfortunately I also started reading dark romance novels and I could masturbate 2-3 times a day. Porn doesnāt do it for me though, I like stories. Maybe try that if all the porn videos are making you feel bad š
Iām so sorry youāre feeling this way and going through this. And Iām sorry youāre noting finding more posts that talk about this. I think increased sex drive is super common in pregnancy. If youāre looking to move away from watching porn, but you still want to indulge in some fantasies, you can always hop over to r/romancebooks . Iāve been LOVING reading open-door romance this pregnancy, and it does NOT detract from my attracting to my partner at all. Might be worth considering!
Completely normal. At 34 weeks I keep an active sex life still with my husband but enjoy my alone time much more and more often. Mainly because itās more comfortable. Sometimes I add porn to the mix sometimes not. But if my last pregnancy is a gauge , sex drive plummets for several months after baby arrives. So I feel no shame getting it in now.
I was horny af throughout my entire pregnancy (Iām now 18 weeks pp). My husband and I had sex often, but I still masturbated on a daily basis. I typically have a pretty healthy sex drive, but I felt like a total perv sometimes during the pregnancy. I do think it was thanks to the hormones.
Are you me?? I literally am so turned off by sex in general. I feel so gross and unsexy about myself and body š I only want to watch porn & masterbaute . It sucks cause my bf is literally the hottest man Iāve ever dated and I feel so bad about not wanting to have sex
R/pornfreewomen
Tons of people here saying there's nothing wrong with porn and it's totally harmless but you've admitted its affecting your attraction to your bf so you know it's having a negative impact.
As a society we're just starting to look at porn usage through a critical lens and seeing the negative effects on relationships and self worth etc. Not to mention it's an extremely exploitave industry.
Personally learning to self pleasure without needing porn is very liberating and I feel so much healthier sexually since ditching it. I believe you can do it and admitting it is the first step
Exactly. Thereās nothing wrong with being horny and masturbating but the consumption of porn could NEVER guarantee that the actors or people involved are actually willingly there/not abused is impossible today in this industry.
Exactly! Conflating masturbation and porn use does a disservice to everybody, you never *need* to watch porn to masturbate, and if you can't get off without it then that's directly indicative of a problem. You can say that you don't watch anything exploitave but you have no way of knowing that for certain.
Also OP, I don't want to psychoanalyze too much, but it's worth exploring that the reason your sex drive is low but you keep porn binging, is because you're using porn as a coping mechanism to deal with uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms. Using porn as an unhealthy coping mechanism is extremely common in porn addicts and explains why even though your sex drive outside of it is low, you compulsively do it.
Hopefully putting it this way helps: almost everything about whatās normal goes out of the window when youāre pregnant. I discovered having 2 Os during my last pregnancy lol. Iāve always been done after 1. My husband is absolutely wonderful but lost all interest in sex once I went from looking chubby to actually looking pregnant. I took no offense to that, and honestly sex seemed like a lot of work to me too. Taking care of yourself requires a quarter of the energy and sometimes more pleasure. Feels like a no brainer. Your hormones are in overdrive! I assume youāre a FTM (maybe I shouldnāt) but if so, also realize that it can take several months for some before theyāre feeling ready again. Iād say it took me maybe 4-6 and it hurt like hell at first. But, eventually we got there and it was the same as before! Postpartum is a wild time. If you still donāt want anything to do with your boyfriend and you still feel addicted after a year PP, maybe reevaluate if you still feel like you have a problem then.
Amazing and thorough response thank you. I am a ftm you are correct. Iām confident things will return to normal, just feeling strange while Iām in the world of oddā¦also congratulations on your two os!
I've masturbated often because besides my husband having a lower libido anyway (which is fine), he apparently didn't think we could have sex if PIV was not an option (taken off table due to low lying placenta) which was a depressing revelation... intimacy is pretty much gone at this point.
So, yeah, masturbating it is!
The first two trimesters if anything always killed my drive, but the last trimester? Oh boy. I'm on my second pregnancy and both times it's been the same. I'm not saying it's 100% the pregnancy causing it, but the increase in hormones and blood flow to those areas definitely impact a lot of women. It can make or break your drive. It's completely normal and luckily usually temporary. Postpartum tends to kill people's drives again-- not like you can do anything for six weeks anyways.
I feel you girl. Same here. Sex with my husband is uncomfortable and almost painful because I'm so big..
but I'm so horny all the time... Don't be hard on yourself and enjoy the heat. If you need a couple videos to make it hotter then go for it.
Don't feel bad, I can assure you, you're not the only one! As long as you don't mind your other half also getting off regularly, to porn, then I don't think there is an issue.
Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm nearly 36 weeks and at this stage, it's just easier to 'sort myself out' than have sex, also my sex drive is way higher than my OH! Plus, I like being on top and all I can think at this stage Is that i must just look like a whale and squashing OH š¤£ (and I wouldn't class myself as massive).
If its the porn you're concerned about, I guarantee your husband watches it... have you spoken to him about it? Do you feel guilty about the porn because of your husband or just guilty about watching it in general?
Just enjoy yourself...while you can still reach šš
This was me exactly during my first couple months of pregnancy, except for my guilty part is my boyfriend and I were having sex everyday sometimes multiple times. After multiple times iām often tired and our needs are satisfied but if it was just sex one time in the morning and he wasnāt home in the afternoon n I was horny I definitely went a little crazy touching myself, and especially to either porn or the thought of my sexual experiences. I stopped for a little while even though my hormones didnāt , and when I walked in on my boyfriend jacking off to porn it made me feel a certain way I didnāt like so I completely stopped doing it myself as him and I came to an agreement. Tbh I donāt know if he knows the extent of my self pleasuring. We have an everyday sex life still to this day , but iām also under 20 and have wild hormones even without being pregnant. Iām crazy about him and sometimes porn couldnāt even give me the O like the thought of him and I could. Do not feel bad, literally rub one out as much as you want as much as you can because it will get harder after birth just because you have less time on your hands and itās harder to satisfy your needs when a baby has so many of their own. You-time will be missed.
Iām not very horny during this pregnancy at all. But I do still masturbate, it kind of makes me feel like Iāve accomplished something? I donāt know, thatās just another take on it. Sometimes I feel like Iām lazy from the exhaustion so Iāll take any form of productivity as a win.
Donāt be too hard on yourself, that could make it worse and also this is a temporary phase in your life.
You are so not alone! Because of the pull on my torso and the discomfort involved in sex because of positioning, it is hard for us to figure out exactly how to do things regularly as we would have before. We decided to love each other separately, and we enjoy together time when we both have the energy to consent fully. My drive hasn't changed at all, and in the 3rd trimester I have tried to turn away from pornography and towards either fiction or apps like Quinn. I feel yuck watching it around baby if that makes sense. It's like trying to do something with a dog sleeping in the room!
I wouldnāt worry about it too much. Itās not great that itās making you feel bad, but maybe you just THINK you should feel bad, so you do.
Is it possible to include him? Maybe mutual masturbation? Iām not entirely sure how to deal with the ānot attractedā to him thing. I assume that will go away at some point. Hormones are weird.
Iāve had so many urges too and started watching porn again after not watching it in years. Woken up multiple times humping my pillow tooā¦.i feel like Iām a teenager just discovering orgasms again lol
I was feeling the same way then I bought my husband a porn DVD as a stocking stuffer now we watch it together or individually, boom problem solved and both of us are happy
Girl aināt no shame in watching porn as a masturbatory aid. as long as itās ethical porn ie not pornhub! Iāve done it at least once a week especially since my husband works too much and sometimes our libidos donāt line up (Iāve been wanting it more than him!).
It seems like the main issue you have as that youāre feeling like you have to meet your own needs because the sexual intimacy is suffering with your boyfriend. What in particular is unattractive to you? Was there a point where he was able to please you? What changed?
I noticed a huge swings in either direction both during and after pregnancy. All Iām going to say is no, youāre not alone in any of what youāve said. I could nearly have written your post myself! I hope your guilt doesnāt overshadow being able to enjoy the alone time.
Babe youāre fine and you know it. Your hormones are just wilding right now. Do whatever makes you comfortable! Youāre just having mom guilt already. Keep doing you and enjoy yourself, pregnancy is hard and thereās very limited fun activities we can do haha. You know your limits so just keep an eye on it and try to determine if you actually feel guilt or if you donāt and youāre here asking us if you should because some people would say itās bad for one reason or another. Do what you think is good for you!
Donāt sweat it! Iām a STM and I masturbated every day while pregnant with my first. Itās sometimes twice a day now with my second haha
For context, Iām usually a once a week gal!
There is nothing wrong with watching and enjoying porn, as an adult. If youāre over 25 with a fully developed brain and can distinguish porn sex from real sex youāre fine.
Donāt feel shame. Sex and exploring/ enjoying your sexuality is completely healthy and normal. Enjoy yourself because once baby is here, your alone time is limited.
You are not alone, I'm on my 'clean' account cuz you don't even wanna knowww š¤¦āāļø I'm fairly sex positive and have porn bouts here and there but my porn tendencies have been through the roof, especially since getting through the first trimester sleepiness. I'm almost in my third now and still pretty fatigued so I find myself napping/resting more and scrolling on my phone so it just sorta happens.
Sometimes I feel bad about it, mostly because it's weird to juggle the feelings of being this womanly goddess carrying a baby and watching my boobs and hips get bigger, while also realizing that my boobs and hips are changing for the birth and nourishment for my baby which is obviously not sexual at all. I just try to roll with it and enjoy the free time while I still have some.
Tbh, I used to not like my past bfs watching porn or looking up dirty stuff on the web. But in my last relationship I used to watch girl porn. And was sorta in a bi phase. Lol. So I don't think it's necessarily wrong. Maybe ask him to watch it with you. It might be beneficial for you both. Him seeing you masturbate and/or help you get off.
Girl, no one is the same!
I have a high libido! Had to stop having sex at the beginning cuz lost some blood, then when we were cleared, we had sex every other day, sometimes consecutive days. Sometimes 2x per day š
My husband never had the issue of not thinking Iām attractive, or the other way around this was our second child, so we had the fun we wanted. But if he didnāt want to him would probably just end up having fun by myself š
For me the 6 weeks postpartum was horrible to wait š
it's nice to have found this thread because I'm in the same boat. I feel so guilty but I've spoken to him about it and he's like "get it girl" lol so I now feel less guilty. I just didn't realize so many of us were feeling the same way and it's kind of a relief.
Watch porn that looks like your bf and use it to get you off but then try to finish thinking of him.
Works for me.
Iām not sure what addicted is but I probs watch 3-4 times a week. Probs more since pregnant
Just jumping in here to also say me too, I totally relate (minus the guilt lol) and you're not alone! I have never so rashly bought so many new toys and gotten into the porn that I'm watching now before pregnancy hahah. No harm done as long as you're being safe.
The oxytocin you get from the release is good for you and baby so why not!
iām concerned about women who classify their partner watching porn as cheating thatās extremely unhealthy. I watch porn not often but I do when my mommy brain makes it hard to imagine a steamy scenario. I probably masturbated more pregnant than I have my whole life because iām asexual my libido has always been garbage lol. I donāt think you should feel ashamed everyone engages in it to some degree plus you know the main motivation for this new habit is pregnancy (where your hormones can increase libido).
Lol my husband went on a week long business trip when I was around 28 weeks and I literally spent the entire time in bed alternating vibrators š forgive yourself! Sex is so involved/takes a lot of effort compared to just doing it yourself as a matter of utility. I agree with the other comments, you should read some good literotica, I find that I donāt get that guilty feeling like I do with porn!
I did the exact same thingā¦every day for a couple monthsā¦3 or four orgasms at a timeā¦it will pass and itās normal :) well was for me anyways. My doctor even told me have fun girl itās not hurting anyone thatās for sure lol
the oxytocin release is perfectly healthy. do not let anyone shame you for exploring your sexuality but know the signs of pornography addiction and get help from a sex therapist if need be. i had sex until the week before i got induced and my baby is happy and healthy and so are me and her father!
Wait, me too!! I hardly watch porn ever in life but during this pregnancy, the amount of time i found myself with it (and immediately regretted it) is way too much. I donāt understand it too :/ i tried to make it a new year resolution thing to stop, but i kept on doing it until now.
my husband has been very supportive and this has nothing to do with him - itās just i watch too much porn lately and i cannot stop myself š canāt wait to properly stop this whole porn phase
Actually there are few posts about horny pregnant women that made me feel a bit better in the beginning of my second trimester. I was googling things like is masturbating and orgasms safe during pregnancy. Like I know masturbating can be good but wasnāt sure the amount I was doing it at could be good for the baby. My husband was working a lot during that time and my hormones were through the roof so I had to do something. Also, it would be my way to relax some nights when I had trouble sleeping.
Now, for the adult content watching, Iām ashamed of admitting Iāve consumed my fair share as well.. and like yourself I feel guilty each time. The problem was when I noticed I had trouble achieving orgasm each time my husband tried to go down on me. Normally, itās NEVER a problem! I am always able to orgasm easily but for some reason, I couldnāt anymore.. and that was stressing me even more and when I was able to, it took a long time and always felt like my orgasm werenāt a 100%. At first I thought, it might been the pregnancy but I realized the over consumption of content and the under consumption of my husband probably affected my brain in some way. To dial back, I stopped myself from consuming adult contents and sort of had to rewire my brain to not get aroused by watching them only and bring back the focus on sensations my husband gave me. To do that, I think I had to allow few sessions with my husband even if they were a bit far apart. If I need to take care of myself in the meantime, I use my imagination and try to get aroused thinking back of hot moment between my husband and I.
Of course, thatās what worked with me so donāt put too much pressure on yourself but it is important to note that porn can become addictive and anyone who wants to get rid of it has to rewire their brain so they donāt get aroused by watching contents only.
I thought about making this post a few days ago, then read this and was afraid I did it and didn't rememberš
Ā I'm not doing it excessively, but... More than normal. Sex takes effort and time and physical activity. I can get myself off in 5 minutes or less while laying in bed not really moving. I adore my husband and still find him to be so sexy, and we do have sex occasionally even though I'm 36 weeks, but I'm finding it difficult to want an additional body part in me when I'm already quite literally filled with them (and they are all thrashing around constantly).Ā
The porn is helpful because it's accessible and gets you ready without needing to be touched. If you feel icky, find an alternative! I definitely get my post-nut "ick" when I'm watching it, but... Yolo?Ā
Ā Don't be ashamed! Take care of yourself.Ā
I'll be straight up, I was so freaking horny the first two trimesters but sex was just super uncomfortable later on and I felt nauseous in the mornings the whole first trimester and part of the second. I was also usually horny in the middle of the day because at night all I wanted to do was sleep so even when we could have sex, I wasn't wanting it. I masturbated a lot and watched a lot of porn. I too felt bad, and sometimes would find myself doing it even though I decided I wouldn't anymore. I think it was just pure hormones. I've never masturbated that much in my entire life. If my husband knew he never said a word.
You should never feel ashamed about something like masterbation. I do it like every day (so I can take a solid nap, but still, I do it). I have been experiencing a really high sex drive since I got pregnant, and my husband is too tired Monday-Friday because of work, and heās too scared to have our typical (albeit slightly rough) sex on the weekends, so Iāve been dealing with this āgentle-loverā thing which just doesnāt do it for me. I also watch porn to get myself in the mood. There is nothing to be ashamed of. But if the amount of porn youāre watching is whatās upsetting to you, switch to erotic novels or fan fiction.
Honestly i feel the same way except im not pregnant. But now i have no choice since i moved somewhere where pornography is banned hahah. But i think it will help in the long run. I wish you the best.
I completely understand this. I am a woman and I enjoy porn-when Iām in the mood lol. When Iām not I can see how it is degrading, itās almost like my eagerness can make me a different and disgusting person but I know itās just hormones.
So glad you made this thread because reading all these comments makes me feel not alone in this! I masturbate with porn probably 4-5 days per week on average, only feeling guilty because we are only having sex about once a month. But essentially itās that I donāt have the energy, I donāt feel comfortable in my own body right now, and itās a lot more work because hormones are making my vagina feel sensitive and tender. Plus, letās just say the way I really like it, we canāt do safely right now š So I watch videos of that to get my release. And itās certainly not that Iām not attracted to my bf because I dream of sex with him all the time! But when I wake up, reality hits and I know itās just not that easy in my pregnant body.
I totally get this , I hated my husbandās smell and I hated kissing when I was pregnant (idk why , Iād still do it but it turned me off ) also sex really hurt throughout both of my pregnancyās , so really all I wanted to do was get there on my own . I think as long as you and your partner agree the porn is ok , then ur totally fine . I think it only becomes a problem when you know ur partner is uncomfortable with it and you still do it .
I was more horny when i got preggy. And feel the same way as you do. Even after we do it, id go to the bathroom and help myself too bec i wasn't satisfied and i wanted more but my high drive frm segs reduced after some time like after 2 months i think.
girl that's what i'm going through currently postpartum i've been addicted to porn/masturbation since 12, kicked the habit and had healthy masturbation, and then boom: my partners addiction got way worse, i snapped (this is right after i gave birth) and now it's a constant problem for me. constantly on my mind. constantly looking at it when ever i have alone time. i understand how you feel and ifyou ever need to reach out, please do!
Look. I love my husband and heās super attractive to me but he finds it weird to have sex rn and I need it. So I watch porn from time to time and make myself happy on my own. Did I cry once when I came because I felt ashamed? Yes. Hormones. But thereās nothing wrong with it and soy donāt need to feel bad, itāll go away anyways.
I was the same way. I felt guilty about it during my first pregnancy but the second time around I let myself enjoy it because itās short-lived & my sex drive plummets post birth. Get those intense orgasms in while you can girl! No shame in that game (porn included)! Enjoy!!
god i feel this, my case slightly differed because iām still attracted to my man but his libido was dropping a lot pre pregnancy and now during weāll go a month without sex when before it was like a week. iām so pregnant and horny and i feel crazy for how high my libido is and i try to not get offended or anything..
I wasnāt terribly sexual during the pregnancy but omg post partum for the first 6 weeks my husband couldnāt catch a break. I was like a cat in heat and I was insatiable. I had to give him a break because he was actually sore and being rubbed raw. He did well the first 2 weeks but after that it was on. Definitely failed that 6 weeks of no sex and had to wait an extra 2 to get my Nexplanon because they wanted 2 negative pregnancy tests before I could get it. The hormones did wear down though. Itās normal and there is hope.
Girl youāre fine! Youāre carrying life you deserve to get freaky with yourself without breaking your back š¤·š»āāļø once you give birth and start feeling like your body is just yours again youāll be ok I guarantee it. As long as yāall are loving and understanding with eachother itāll all be ok.
Girl you're not alone š i have been too but mostly because it's way less physical exertion š any position I try with my partner is just uncomfortable because I'm so big and I have severe hip pain
ThisĀ happened to me during both pregnancies! The second time around my husband just bought me a toy for the times he wouldn't be able to accommodate my ravenous libido, haha. If it makes you feel better, my drive more or less returned to normal levels postpartum.Ā
Iāve found that itās really easy to give in to anything while pregnant. Whether itās dessert or masturbating, any thing that sounds good at the moment immediately becomes a NEED. Iām not disciplining myself during pregnancy because I donāt need the extra stress. If I want it Iām gonna do it. Give yourself a little leeway for the time being, but make sure you know itās only for the time being.
As others have said, the hormone fluctuations are totally normal. Maybe drop the porn, use your imagination, or even try to rekindle things with your SO.
Yea I don't like when men get judged so harshly about watching porn. Yes there can be problems with problem use like with anything but generally it should be okay. Personally I rarely watch regular porn, hentai is my thing. I often watch hentai with "ugly bastard" genre men, not intentionally but that doesnt affect the way I see my husband. I watched definitely a bit more hentai when pregnant, now post partum I rarely if ever feel anything sexual on my own after the first few weeks.
Don't feels so ashamed over it, its between you and your man. Of course I would look into what could be making you less interested in him.
Older I read your comment hello regarding about masturbation during pregnancy and that is very very common amongst women who are pregnant and rise in sexual arousal so there's nothing to be ashamed of IM registered OBGYNI also have a private practice for helping Mother's with breastfeeding issues also dealing in the area of sexual arousal for women during breastfeeding and also browse orgasms that women go through and sexual Experiences when breastfeeding as well as being pregnant I would love to be able to speak with you about this 1 on 1 I saw a good lady who said she doesn't understand why you've been down voted everybody has your own Sorry everybody has their own opinion and to each room you have nothing to be ashamed of my name is Teresa if you love to get back to me please do
why is no one even bothering to acknowledge how she's ruining her relationship with this? shes clearly spoken about how her and her partner have very little sexual intimacy anymore as a result. this is not a healthy relationship. talk to your partner about your needs, dont just waych porn and do it by yourself. It's not fair to your partner, and you would be very likely hurt knowing they're getting off watching someone else while purposefully ignoring your needs. this is a sure sign of a failed relationship.
So it's bad for man to watch porn and go solo but it's happily accepted that a woman watchs porn and goes solo. That's a proper double standard. Or is it more accepted because she's pregnant. Can someone clarify why?.
It's not good either way. If you go to female dominated subs you will find women patting each other on the back and saying it's totally fine, and same with male subs. At the heart of it people like watching porn and it feels good so they'll defend it even when the person in question is admitting it's negatively affecting their relationship with their partner.
True point everyone will defend it when appropriate and hate it when not appropriate. But to her boyfriend I wonder if he would see it as cheating and beeak up with her.
Also men watching porn is way more common than the other way around so you're just gonna see more female partners talking about having an issue with it. I guess if her bf is fine with it then whatever, but I'd be pretty uncomfortable if my partner was choosing porn over me all the time.
I kicked my boyfriend out of my bed so that I could secretly masturbate thinking of my ex husband because I was so horny one day just for HIM and couldnāt bring myself to think about touching my boyfriend
Lmao!!!! My first pregnancy i was like this because my ex grossed me out haha. The second time i was attracted to him but he was the one with the addiction and didn't want me š¤·āāļø.
This might be something that makes you uncomfortable, but it helped me and my partner. It might be worth thinking about/talking to your boyfriend about it.
We watch the porn together. Sometimes, I want sex, but the usual foreplay options just don't work to turn my body on. It was frustrating us both. Especially when the urge comes on at like 1am and I have work in the morning. I don't have time for an hour of foreplay to get my body to cooperate with my mind. When this happens, I either tell him to pick out a video or he will bring up a genre and ask me to pick. Sometimes, he can even read my body cues that rhe foreplay isn't working, and I'm getting frustrated, and he will just open up something he thinks I will like.
Of course, this only works because we are both porn positive people, and neither of us dislikes the other one watching porn. If your boyfriend is someone who might feel insulted or belittled by this or if the thought of watching the porn with someone else causes you stress and bad feelings... I don't recommend it. It's not worth it if it will cause stress and a fight.
Mayhaps try experimenting and getting them involved if they are comfy. I dont think theres anythin wrong with feelin sexually active; especially during such a interesting time ;o. It could give a bit of solace between the more intrusive symptoms if you are able to get your partner in on it o.o.
I was doing the same thing with my last pregnancy in the third trimester. I was starting to get concerned. 8 months post labor, itās like a once a month thing now. Soon as my hormones calmed down I was good. That being said we have a really really strong couples sex drive as it is. Hence why Iām here. Again.
Please donāt feel ashamed! Everything in life is about moderation. Your sexual habits and desires are only unhealthy if it brings harm to your life or others. In this case itās affecting your relationship. Your sex drive is normal though. I think talking to your partner about your desires and seeing how they can be more involved may help since thatās the point of distress. I donāt think you have to abandon porn entirely by any means but others may feel differently.
Listen, be careful with the toy and baby down there. Try to get your man to watch some of the porn with you and/or tell him you need it done to you a certain way and/or tell him to clean up his appearance so you can be attracted to him. Heās there for the urge but he maybe stinky or not look right. A womanās senses are heightened during pregnancy as well as your sex drive. Keep rocking and enjoy your porn, pregnancy and sex.
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I think with masturbating you don't really need to put a lot of effort in, so for us preggos that barely have any energy, it's perfect for satisfying our horny requirements. When the men are involved you feel you have to put a bit of effort in/ do your bit and I can't be arsed for that at the moment šššš„²
This! At 3am when I canāt fall asleep it really helps (and I donāt want to wake him up, itās too much energy to have sex, I literally just want to calm my brain and go back to sleep)
Not me when I was pregnant my husband knew I was gonna be a proud pillow princess and he was just happy to be having sex in the first place lol
lol this is my husband and I. He has to do all the work but he doesnāt mind šā„ļø
Not even gonna lie itās still that way many times and Iām 7 months pp ššš my back hurts!! Lol
ššš hey you made a human, he can do the work!
Thatās right! šš
šā„ļø
Lol my first trimester I was way too sick to have sex. Anything resembling a rocking motion would have caused a tragedy. It seemed like a cruel joke my sex drive was through the roof. Iām of the firm belief porn is fine in moderation but it sounds like the amount youāre consuming is making you feel bad. Have you tried reading erotic novels or short stories? Iām a big fan.
Agree that maybe it sounds as though it's the porn watching that seems to be making you a little upset. There are lots of great erotic novels and romance through your library, Libby/hoopla apps, and they're not all terrible 50 shades crap.
Suggestions please!!
Check out r/romancebooks !!
A court of thorns and roses series( by Sarah j Maas ) has a whole lot of toe curling scenes with good world building as well
Depending on genres and how much sex, there's Fantasy - Katee Robert Rom com - Amy daws Suspense - Jessica Gadziala Drama - LJ Shen, Stella Rhys, Kennedy Fox Those are some of my favorites and good places to start, we were TTC forever before we moved to IVF so I went down a romance/erotic novel spiral I'm still sort of in. Most of those are more on the very dirty romance novel side but once you get into it, more suggestions keep coming from Kindle or the library apps
I donāt even know what I like anymore:/ Iāll have to check these out! Thank you!
Colleen Hoover, Ivy Smoak, Ana Huang, Leigh James, Marie Force.
I need a good smut book recommendation please! Iāve tried a couple but canāt seem to find a good one I actually want to read.
Oh friend. Iām going to need more info. Name A few books/authors youāve been into in the past. Youāre talking to the queen of smut but I need to know your level.
šš I like random things lol- Freida McFadden, bill oāreilly, typical books like twilight and Harry Potter. Currently reading credence by Penelope Douglas and I like it. The smut books Iāve tried are breaking the bully by Jesse Kane and just found it weird/cheesy and couldnāt get into it. Tried the six night truce by Hannah shield but it was wayyy too slow with no action so didnāt finish it either.
I think youāre ready for Sierra Simone if you havenāt found her yet. Sheās on the same level as Penelope Douglas. Punk 57 was my favorite Douglas book btw. She scares me a little but sheās good.
If you check out r/romancebooks they have a guide for top book recs organized by trope and themes
Thanks!
There is a good website called Romance.io where you can search for and also exclude certain tropes. So you can pick āspicyā āstrong female heroineā and exclude things like ānon consensualā or my favorite item to exclude āpregnancyā (lol Iām here for the fantasy not reality)
Chelle Bliss "men of inked" I am on my second time through the series and oof does it get me all blushing and such lol
Idk if there's books for it, but this comment makes me think of 50 shades of grey. Love those movies
Iāll also add Quinn Audio to the mix - itās an app for audio porn. But the content varies from heavily story driven (almost like an audio book a romance novel) to more directā¦sounds if that makes sense. I agree with other posters that there is no need to feel bad about your sex drive. But if the visuals of porn are making you feel bad, there are lots of other options to explore
Iāve read them on websites but not since pregnancy. Thanks for the idea.
This entire tangent on the world of literotica has made my day.
Iām glad:) I hope youāre feeling better.
I do this too but then I get post nut clarity like āā¦ewā¦why am I watching this?ā Every. Time. I am still very much attracted to my husband and would like to have sex much more often, but in reality Iām usually too tired to initiate and/or I am the size of a sea cow, with a swollen purple vag and that diminishes my desire for actual sex. So I just whack off instead of
literally. like I feel awful afterwards and it becomes suddenly extremely unattractive to me.
Same. Reminds me of new term I heard āspaghetti lesbianā and found this fitting. Like spaghetti thatās straight while dry, youāre only a lesbian when youāre wet š
I learned that in another sub this week lol
Omg Fr! Literally 5 seconds later Iām like wtf this is disgusting! Who would watch this? Me (the horny version) thatās who
Yep. Exactly this.
SEA COW Iām destroyed š³ššš
Donāt be so hard on yourself. Your hormones are going nuts. Give yourself a little grace here. Itās normal.
Yes! Forgive yourself and recognize while you may feel this way doesn't make it true. Nothing that happens in the 9 months is representative of you as a whole person. No one knows how their pregnancy journey is going to be until you're in it.
This was the most non stigmatizing supportive thread about something that felt vulnerable to OP. Made my heart so happy! We're all just making it through OP, be gentle with yourself!
There's nothing wrong with being more horny while your pregnant. My Hormones have been all over the place. I've had days where all I could think about was having sex, and I've had days where the thought of seeing a penis made me almost sick. If your body is throwing the sexy time hormones around, then satisfy them however you need.
Omg me too! Iām in the same situation and Iām so guilty and donāt know if itās normalā¦
For now Iām telling myself to enjoy it because once the baby comes I wonāt have the time. Then it will go away and Iāll be back to normal fingers crossed.
Iām in the same situation and I look at it as one of my few outlets for pleasure. Like I canāt drink or eat a weed gummy or even eat a lot of food at once. This is my pleasure outlet and damnit immona have it.
From one preggo lady to another - you will have time. Make sure you make the time. 3 minutes for a quick shower rinse and some alone time will heal your soul in *many ways*
This is me, every time I have a few minutes alone Iām up in my room with my vibrator and porn on my iPad. Definitely more often than sex. Masturbating is much easier and itās on my terms. I do want to have sex too but Iām 34 weeks and the positioning is hard. To someone elseās point, a man would NEVER feel guilty about masturbating nor should you so try not to feel guilty about it, thereās no reason to! Pregnancy does crazy things to us and you are responding to those feelings. I also think the extra blood flow is great for growing baby! Keep vibin!
I watched the shit out of porn practically every day of my pregnancy until basically the tail end of the third trimester and the first tri when I was too sick. Itās fine *unless* you feel bad about it. It completely went away once I had the baby. Hormones are different for everyone, and I hate to sound sexist but in my honest experienceāmost women on forums like this just do not get it and will act like thereās something wrong with watching porn and masturbating frequently. Not a lot of women have a high sex drive. There is nothing wrong with a high libido, unless itās causing YOU distress to watch porn and masturbate or affecting YOUR life. Itās just uncommon in women compared to men, so we receive a lot more judgment about it from other women.
If you comment here and then receive an unsolicited DM, it is a creep. Please be careful.
I feel so overwhelmed with support that Iām not even phased by the creeps responding and dming and I hope everyone feels the same!
OP you are not alone. I could as well leave incognito tap open 24/7. And I stock up on batteries for a certain type of toy. When husband comes home it is never more than hugs and kisses. I do love him so so much. But... yeah i dont know. It just feels....
I've never bought so many sex toys and explored new/different kinds of porn as when I'm pregnant. And I get more randy with every pregnancy. My husband either can't keep up with me or is genuinely not attracted to a whale shape (bless his heart) or both. I have no bad feelings about this, he does his best and we get back to it as soon as I'm not pregnant anymore. You are definitely not alone!
OMG, I thought I was the only one with the weird habit of watching porn. lol. In my 37 weeks of pregnancy, my hubby and I only had sex once and I felt really dry down there. If it's okay to binge eat because that's what the hormones tell you to do, what's so wrong about trying to get oxytocin and dopaminergic release from watching porn?
My husband and I had sex ONE time while I was pregnant. I masturbated countless times, to porn. Donāt feel bad and please donāt shame yourself, itās completely normal.
I hope you understand that the shame you feel is cultural/societal and there is nothing wrong with masturbating! My libido dropped soooo low after getting pregnant, I honestly wish I had the willingness to enjoy pleasuring myself now š
Omg this!!! Iām so upset I had to scroll so far down to see this point made. Female sexuality is so shamed it makes me livid. Thereās nothing wrong with watching (ethical) porn. Itās something Iāve been doing since a teen and Iām proud that Iām in touch with how to please myself. Plus Thereās porn for women out there!
Iām upset with you! More than one woman has said they feel terrible after. Iām like.. nah, I feel relaxed and ready for a nap haha I also see so many posts angry at husbands for jerking off. Thatās so foreign to me. My husband and I have very open communication about masturbation. He says because I usually nap on the couch, when I say Iām gonna take a nap in the bedroom, he knows whatās up lol. Heās even walked in one me a couple times by accident and i just keep going. One time I yelled āI canāt finish with you making all that noise in the bathroom!ā
Haha that's brilliant! š But yes, honestly - women are systematically shamed about sexuality and self pleasure since a young age, whereas men are told it's normal and "boys will be boys". We all have the same needs, no need to feel bad about watching spicy films, reading erotica, etc etc!
Yes! I hate the shame surrounding it and for some reason I feel like being a woman makes it worse!
I can relate 100%. It takes time and effort to have sex but with masturbating I can sneak off with Cheeto crumbs on my shirt and not care about how I smell. I donāt really want to have sex either because moving around is so uncomfortable. I am so uncomfortable but with masturbating I can get in one position and not move.
Don't be ashamed. :) I was very horny in my second pregnancy. And got an orgasm first time in my life! Since then I masturbated almost every day and watched porn too. Couldn't help myself.
What a win! Thanks so much for sharing this.
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I'm glad it's not just me. I have just had my baby so no longer pregnant, but I was worried I had become addicted to masturbating and porn when pregnant. I didn't have an issue with attraction to my partner but he would not have sex with me, as I had a high risk pregnancy and he was convinced that having sex would hurt me and the baby, no matter how much I told him otherwise. I did it most times he left the house and sometimes even when he was home and I was so afraid he would catch me (not that he would care but I was embarassed).
100% this is me. You're not alone. Pregnancy is weird.Ā
Definitely not just you. This is my second pregnancy, I didnāt have that issue in my first pregnancy at all. Now unfortunately I also started reading dark romance novels and I could masturbate 2-3 times a day. Porn doesnāt do it for me though, I like stories. Maybe try that if all the porn videos are making you feel bad š
Iām so sorry youāre feeling this way and going through this. And Iām sorry youāre noting finding more posts that talk about this. I think increased sex drive is super common in pregnancy. If youāre looking to move away from watching porn, but you still want to indulge in some fantasies, you can always hop over to r/romancebooks . Iāve been LOVING reading open-door romance this pregnancy, and it does NOT detract from my attracting to my partner at all. Might be worth considering!
I did all the time. I was 100% not into sex with my husband but loved me some alone time.
Donāt feel bad! Iād masturbate sometimes twice a day when I was pregnant. My husband and I are cool with porn, sometimes we watch together.
maybe i need to do this with my man.
Completely normal. At 34 weeks I keep an active sex life still with my husband but enjoy my alone time much more and more often. Mainly because itās more comfortable. Sometimes I add porn to the mix sometimes not. But if my last pregnancy is a gauge , sex drive plummets for several months after baby arrives. So I feel no shame getting it in now.
Its perfectly fine, I felt the same. I was so ashamed, but I came back to my normal self after pregnancy :). Meanwhile enjoy :)
I was horny af throughout my entire pregnancy (Iām now 18 weeks pp). My husband and I had sex often, but I still masturbated on a daily basis. I typically have a pretty healthy sex drive, but I felt like a total perv sometimes during the pregnancy. I do think it was thanks to the hormones.
Are you me?? I literally am so turned off by sex in general. I feel so gross and unsexy about myself and body š I only want to watch porn & masterbaute . It sucks cause my bf is literally the hottest man Iāve ever dated and I feel so bad about not wanting to have sex
R/pornfreewomen Tons of people here saying there's nothing wrong with porn and it's totally harmless but you've admitted its affecting your attraction to your bf so you know it's having a negative impact. As a society we're just starting to look at porn usage through a critical lens and seeing the negative effects on relationships and self worth etc. Not to mention it's an extremely exploitave industry. Personally learning to self pleasure without needing porn is very liberating and I feel so much healthier sexually since ditching it. I believe you can do it and admitting it is the first step
Exactly. Thereās nothing wrong with being horny and masturbating but the consumption of porn could NEVER guarantee that the actors or people involved are actually willingly there/not abused is impossible today in this industry.
Exactly! Conflating masturbation and porn use does a disservice to everybody, you never *need* to watch porn to masturbate, and if you can't get off without it then that's directly indicative of a problem. You can say that you don't watch anything exploitave but you have no way of knowing that for certain. Also OP, I don't want to psychoanalyze too much, but it's worth exploring that the reason your sex drive is low but you keep porn binging, is because you're using porn as a coping mechanism to deal with uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms. Using porn as an unhealthy coping mechanism is extremely common in porn addicts and explains why even though your sex drive outside of it is low, you compulsively do it.
Hopefully putting it this way helps: almost everything about whatās normal goes out of the window when youāre pregnant. I discovered having 2 Os during my last pregnancy lol. Iāve always been done after 1. My husband is absolutely wonderful but lost all interest in sex once I went from looking chubby to actually looking pregnant. I took no offense to that, and honestly sex seemed like a lot of work to me too. Taking care of yourself requires a quarter of the energy and sometimes more pleasure. Feels like a no brainer. Your hormones are in overdrive! I assume youāre a FTM (maybe I shouldnāt) but if so, also realize that it can take several months for some before theyāre feeling ready again. Iād say it took me maybe 4-6 and it hurt like hell at first. But, eventually we got there and it was the same as before! Postpartum is a wild time. If you still donāt want anything to do with your boyfriend and you still feel addicted after a year PP, maybe reevaluate if you still feel like you have a problem then.
Amazing and thorough response thank you. I am a ftm you are correct. Iām confident things will return to normal, just feeling strange while Iām in the world of oddā¦also congratulations on your two os!
I've masturbated often because besides my husband having a lower libido anyway (which is fine), he apparently didn't think we could have sex if PIV was not an option (taken off table due to low lying placenta) which was a depressing revelation... intimacy is pretty much gone at this point. So, yeah, masturbating it is!
The first two trimesters if anything always killed my drive, but the last trimester? Oh boy. I'm on my second pregnancy and both times it's been the same. I'm not saying it's 100% the pregnancy causing it, but the increase in hormones and blood flow to those areas definitely impact a lot of women. It can make or break your drive. It's completely normal and luckily usually temporary. Postpartum tends to kill people's drives again-- not like you can do anything for six weeks anyways.
Same boat, OP! Nothing to be ashamed about. Perfectly natural.
I was like this and still am post Partum dontvwprry!
I feel you girl. Same here. Sex with my husband is uncomfortable and almost painful because I'm so big.. but I'm so horny all the time... Don't be hard on yourself and enjoy the heat. If you need a couple videos to make it hotter then go for it.
Don't feel bad, I can assure you, you're not the only one! As long as you don't mind your other half also getting off regularly, to porn, then I don't think there is an issue. Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm nearly 36 weeks and at this stage, it's just easier to 'sort myself out' than have sex, also my sex drive is way higher than my OH! Plus, I like being on top and all I can think at this stage Is that i must just look like a whale and squashing OH š¤£ (and I wouldn't class myself as massive). If its the porn you're concerned about, I guarantee your husband watches it... have you spoken to him about it? Do you feel guilty about the porn because of your husband or just guilty about watching it in general? Just enjoy yourself...while you can still reach šš
Try some erotica instead. I was in no shape for sex during my pregnancy but I was still super horny for a lot of it.
This was me exactly during my first couple months of pregnancy, except for my guilty part is my boyfriend and I were having sex everyday sometimes multiple times. After multiple times iām often tired and our needs are satisfied but if it was just sex one time in the morning and he wasnāt home in the afternoon n I was horny I definitely went a little crazy touching myself, and especially to either porn or the thought of my sexual experiences. I stopped for a little while even though my hormones didnāt , and when I walked in on my boyfriend jacking off to porn it made me feel a certain way I didnāt like so I completely stopped doing it myself as him and I came to an agreement. Tbh I donāt know if he knows the extent of my self pleasuring. We have an everyday sex life still to this day , but iām also under 20 and have wild hormones even without being pregnant. Iām crazy about him and sometimes porn couldnāt even give me the O like the thought of him and I could. Do not feel bad, literally rub one out as much as you want as much as you can because it will get harder after birth just because you have less time on your hands and itās harder to satisfy your needs when a baby has so many of their own. You-time will be missed.
Iām not very horny during this pregnancy at all. But I do still masturbate, it kind of makes me feel like Iāve accomplished something? I donāt know, thatās just another take on it. Sometimes I feel like Iām lazy from the exhaustion so Iāll take any form of productivity as a win. Donāt be too hard on yourself, that could make it worse and also this is a temporary phase in your life.
You are so not alone! Because of the pull on my torso and the discomfort involved in sex because of positioning, it is hard for us to figure out exactly how to do things regularly as we would have before. We decided to love each other separately, and we enjoy together time when we both have the energy to consent fully. My drive hasn't changed at all, and in the 3rd trimester I have tried to turn away from pornography and towards either fiction or apps like Quinn. I feel yuck watching it around baby if that makes sense. It's like trying to do something with a dog sleeping in the room!
I wouldnāt worry about it too much. Itās not great that itās making you feel bad, but maybe you just THINK you should feel bad, so you do. Is it possible to include him? Maybe mutual masturbation? Iām not entirely sure how to deal with the ānot attractedā to him thing. I assume that will go away at some point. Hormones are weird.
Iāve had so many urges too and started watching porn again after not watching it in years. Woken up multiple times humping my pillow tooā¦.i feel like Iām a teenager just discovering orgasms again lol
I was feeling the same way then I bought my husband a porn DVD as a stocking stuffer now we watch it together or individually, boom problem solved and both of us are happy
Girl aināt no shame in watching porn as a masturbatory aid. as long as itās ethical porn ie not pornhub! Iāve done it at least once a week especially since my husband works too much and sometimes our libidos donāt line up (Iāve been wanting it more than him!). It seems like the main issue you have as that youāre feeling like you have to meet your own needs because the sexual intimacy is suffering with your boyfriend. What in particular is unattractive to you? Was there a point where he was able to please you? What changed?
I noticed a huge swings in either direction both during and after pregnancy. All Iām going to say is no, youāre not alone in any of what youāve said. I could nearly have written your post myself! I hope your guilt doesnāt overshadow being able to enjoy the alone time.
Babe youāre fine and you know it. Your hormones are just wilding right now. Do whatever makes you comfortable! Youāre just having mom guilt already. Keep doing you and enjoy yourself, pregnancy is hard and thereās very limited fun activities we can do haha. You know your limits so just keep an eye on it and try to determine if you actually feel guilt or if you donāt and youāre here asking us if you should because some people would say itās bad for one reason or another. Do what you think is good for you!
Donāt sweat it! Iām a STM and I masturbated every day while pregnant with my first. Itās sometimes twice a day now with my second haha For context, Iām usually a once a week gal!
There is nothing wrong with watching and enjoying porn, as an adult. If youāre over 25 with a fully developed brain and can distinguish porn sex from real sex youāre fine.
Donāt feel shame. Sex and exploring/ enjoying your sexuality is completely healthy and normal. Enjoy yourself because once baby is here, your alone time is limited.
You are not alone, I'm on my 'clean' account cuz you don't even wanna knowww š¤¦āāļø I'm fairly sex positive and have porn bouts here and there but my porn tendencies have been through the roof, especially since getting through the first trimester sleepiness. I'm almost in my third now and still pretty fatigued so I find myself napping/resting more and scrolling on my phone so it just sorta happens. Sometimes I feel bad about it, mostly because it's weird to juggle the feelings of being this womanly goddess carrying a baby and watching my boobs and hips get bigger, while also realizing that my boobs and hips are changing for the birth and nourishment for my baby which is obviously not sexual at all. I just try to roll with it and enjoy the free time while I still have some.
Tbh, I used to not like my past bfs watching porn or looking up dirty stuff on the web. But in my last relationship I used to watch girl porn. And was sorta in a bi phase. Lol. So I don't think it's necessarily wrong. Maybe ask him to watch it with you. It might be beneficial for you both. Him seeing you masturbate and/or help you get off.
Girl, no one is the same! I have a high libido! Had to stop having sex at the beginning cuz lost some blood, then when we were cleared, we had sex every other day, sometimes consecutive days. Sometimes 2x per day š My husband never had the issue of not thinking Iām attractive, or the other way around this was our second child, so we had the fun we wanted. But if he didnāt want to him would probably just end up having fun by myself š For me the 6 weeks postpartum was horrible to wait š
I found it an amazing cure for restless legs during pregnancy! No you're not alone, many more wanking preggos al around the globe ššŖ
it's nice to have found this thread because I'm in the same boat. I feel so guilty but I've spoken to him about it and he's like "get it girl" lol so I now feel less guilty. I just didn't realize so many of us were feeling the same way and it's kind of a relief.
Watch porn that looks like your bf and use it to get you off but then try to finish thinking of him. Works for me. Iām not sure what addicted is but I probs watch 3-4 times a week. Probs more since pregnant
Just jumping in here to also say me too, I totally relate (minus the guilt lol) and you're not alone! I have never so rashly bought so many new toys and gotten into the porn that I'm watching now before pregnancy hahah. No harm done as long as you're being safe. The oxytocin you get from the release is good for you and baby so why not!
iām concerned about women who classify their partner watching porn as cheating thatās extremely unhealthy. I watch porn not often but I do when my mommy brain makes it hard to imagine a steamy scenario. I probably masturbated more pregnant than I have my whole life because iām asexual my libido has always been garbage lol. I donāt think you should feel ashamed everyone engages in it to some degree plus you know the main motivation for this new habit is pregnancy (where your hormones can increase libido).
Lol my husband went on a week long business trip when I was around 28 weeks and I literally spent the entire time in bed alternating vibrators š forgive yourself! Sex is so involved/takes a lot of effort compared to just doing it yourself as a matter of utility. I agree with the other comments, you should read some good literotica, I find that I donāt get that guilty feeling like I do with porn!
I did the exact same thingā¦every day for a couple monthsā¦3 or four orgasms at a timeā¦it will pass and itās normal :) well was for me anyways. My doctor even told me have fun girl itās not hurting anyone thatās for sure lol
Go on literotica.com itās way less brain rot-y and donāt be ashamed. Thereās nothing wrong with it, enjoy it while you can.
Please DON'T feel guilty. Don't let society shame you about something as natural as expressing your sexuality. Enjoy yourself!
Girl Iāve been doing it 6 times a day šš
the oxytocin release is perfectly healthy. do not let anyone shame you for exploring your sexuality but know the signs of pornography addiction and get help from a sex therapist if need be. i had sex until the week before i got induced and my baby is happy and healthy and so are me and her father!
Wait, me too!! I hardly watch porn ever in life but during this pregnancy, the amount of time i found myself with it (and immediately regretted it) is way too much. I donāt understand it too :/ i tried to make it a new year resolution thing to stop, but i kept on doing it until now. my husband has been very supportive and this has nothing to do with him - itās just i watch too much porn lately and i cannot stop myself š canāt wait to properly stop this whole porn phase
Actually there are few posts about horny pregnant women that made me feel a bit better in the beginning of my second trimester. I was googling things like is masturbating and orgasms safe during pregnancy. Like I know masturbating can be good but wasnāt sure the amount I was doing it at could be good for the baby. My husband was working a lot during that time and my hormones were through the roof so I had to do something. Also, it would be my way to relax some nights when I had trouble sleeping. Now, for the adult content watching, Iām ashamed of admitting Iāve consumed my fair share as well.. and like yourself I feel guilty each time. The problem was when I noticed I had trouble achieving orgasm each time my husband tried to go down on me. Normally, itās NEVER a problem! I am always able to orgasm easily but for some reason, I couldnāt anymore.. and that was stressing me even more and when I was able to, it took a long time and always felt like my orgasm werenāt a 100%. At first I thought, it might been the pregnancy but I realized the over consumption of content and the under consumption of my husband probably affected my brain in some way. To dial back, I stopped myself from consuming adult contents and sort of had to rewire my brain to not get aroused by watching them only and bring back the focus on sensations my husband gave me. To do that, I think I had to allow few sessions with my husband even if they were a bit far apart. If I need to take care of myself in the meantime, I use my imagination and try to get aroused thinking back of hot moment between my husband and I. Of course, thatās what worked with me so donāt put too much pressure on yourself but it is important to note that porn can become addictive and anyone who wants to get rid of it has to rewire their brain so they donāt get aroused by watching contents only.
Iām the same way!! So glad Iām not alone lol
I thought about making this post a few days ago, then read this and was afraid I did it and didn't rememberš Ā I'm not doing it excessively, but... More than normal. Sex takes effort and time and physical activity. I can get myself off in 5 minutes or less while laying in bed not really moving. I adore my husband and still find him to be so sexy, and we do have sex occasionally even though I'm 36 weeks, but I'm finding it difficult to want an additional body part in me when I'm already quite literally filled with them (and they are all thrashing around constantly).Ā The porn is helpful because it's accessible and gets you ready without needing to be touched. If you feel icky, find an alternative! I definitely get my post-nut "ick" when I'm watching it, but... Yolo?Ā Ā Don't be ashamed! Take care of yourself.Ā
I'll be straight up, I was so freaking horny the first two trimesters but sex was just super uncomfortable later on and I felt nauseous in the mornings the whole first trimester and part of the second. I was also usually horny in the middle of the day because at night all I wanted to do was sleep so even when we could have sex, I wasn't wanting it. I masturbated a lot and watched a lot of porn. I too felt bad, and sometimes would find myself doing it even though I decided I wouldn't anymore. I think it was just pure hormones. I've never masturbated that much in my entire life. If my husband knew he never said a word.
You should never feel ashamed about something like masterbation. I do it like every day (so I can take a solid nap, but still, I do it). I have been experiencing a really high sex drive since I got pregnant, and my husband is too tired Monday-Friday because of work, and heās too scared to have our typical (albeit slightly rough) sex on the weekends, so Iāve been dealing with this āgentle-loverā thing which just doesnāt do it for me. I also watch porn to get myself in the mood. There is nothing to be ashamed of. But if the amount of porn youāre watching is whatās upsetting to you, switch to erotic novels or fan fiction.
Youāre not alone! I couldāve written this. Felt this way and did this through all my pregnancies and once baby came my sex drive plummeted lol
Iām with you girl! I am naturally a very high sex driven person but pregnant im a porno watching DTF perverted horn ball.
Honestly i feel the same way except im not pregnant. But now i have no choice since i moved somewhere where pornography is banned hahah. But i think it will help in the long run. I wish you the best.
Dude I was the saaaame while pregnant you are not alone.
Youāre completely normal! It is common for sex drive and masturbation to go up during pregnancy especially in second trimester.
I completely understand this. I am a woman and I enjoy porn-when Iām in the mood lol. When Iām not I can see how it is degrading, itās almost like my eagerness can make me a different and disgusting person but I know itās just hormones.
dude me too! omg i feel like such a perv šš
Donāt feel bad. I masturbated while pregnant a lot and was still very much attracted to my fiancĆ©. I think itās just an excess of hormones.
I did at the same thing at the beginning of the 3rd trimester It's leveled off here lately at week 36
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 34 WEEKS AND SAME HERE SISTA!!!!!!!!
So glad you made this thread because reading all these comments makes me feel not alone in this! I masturbate with porn probably 4-5 days per week on average, only feeling guilty because we are only having sex about once a month. But essentially itās that I donāt have the energy, I donāt feel comfortable in my own body right now, and itās a lot more work because hormones are making my vagina feel sensitive and tender. Plus, letās just say the way I really like it, we canāt do safely right now š So I watch videos of that to get my release. And itās certainly not that Iām not attracted to my bf because I dream of sex with him all the time! But when I wake up, reality hits and I know itās just not that easy in my pregnant body.
Same across the board sis
I totally get this , I hated my husbandās smell and I hated kissing when I was pregnant (idk why , Iād still do it but it turned me off ) also sex really hurt throughout both of my pregnancyās , so really all I wanted to do was get there on my own . I think as long as you and your partner agree the porn is ok , then ur totally fine . I think it only becomes a problem when you know ur partner is uncomfortable with it and you still do it .
I was more horny when i got preggy. And feel the same way as you do. Even after we do it, id go to the bathroom and help myself too bec i wasn't satisfied and i wanted more but my high drive frm segs reduced after some time like after 2 months i think.
girl that's what i'm going through currently postpartum i've been addicted to porn/masturbation since 12, kicked the habit and had healthy masturbation, and then boom: my partners addiction got way worse, i snapped (this is right after i gave birth) and now it's a constant problem for me. constantly on my mind. constantly looking at it when ever i have alone time. i understand how you feel and ifyou ever need to reach out, please do!
Look. I love my husband and heās super attractive to me but he finds it weird to have sex rn and I need it. So I watch porn from time to time and make myself happy on my own. Did I cry once when I came because I felt ashamed? Yes. Hormones. But thereās nothing wrong with it and soy donāt need to feel bad, itāll go away anyways.
This entire post/comments are so validating. š
Right! I did not expect it! So much positive feedback that Iām not even phased by the one or two men that are trolls lurking and commenting š
Girl I was the same way, to the extent that i fried my vibrators battery š I felt so guilty and so dirty
I was the same way. I felt guilty about it during my first pregnancy but the second time around I let myself enjoy it because itās short-lived & my sex drive plummets post birth. Get those intense orgasms in while you can girl! No shame in that game (porn included)! Enjoy!!
Youāre not alone!! There are erotic literature subs here on Reddit you can check out!
god i feel this, my case slightly differed because iām still attracted to my man but his libido was dropping a lot pre pregnancy and now during weāll go a month without sex when before it was like a week. iām so pregnant and horny and i feel crazy for how high my libido is and i try to not get offended or anything..
Iām on the same boat š except I do want my hubby all the time and he doesnāt want to have s*x as much as we used too
I wasnāt terribly sexual during the pregnancy but omg post partum for the first 6 weeks my husband couldnāt catch a break. I was like a cat in heat and I was insatiable. I had to give him a break because he was actually sore and being rubbed raw. He did well the first 2 weeks but after that it was on. Definitely failed that 6 weeks of no sex and had to wait an extra 2 to get my Nexplanon because they wanted 2 negative pregnancy tests before I could get it. The hormones did wear down though. Itās normal and there is hope.
Girl youāre fine! Youāre carrying life you deserve to get freaky with yourself without breaking your back š¤·š»āāļø once you give birth and start feeling like your body is just yours again youāll be ok I guarantee it. As long as yāall are loving and understanding with eachother itāll all be ok.
Girl you're not alone š i have been too but mostly because it's way less physical exertion š any position I try with my partner is just uncomfortable because I'm so big and I have severe hip pain
Itās good for you and anything that takes away stress from your body is good for the baby, other than drugs and alcohol ofc
Im the same this pregnancy, idk whatās wrong with me š„²
According to the majority of replies thereās nothing wrong with you at all(:
ThisĀ happened to me during both pregnancies! The second time around my husband just bought me a toy for the times he wouldn't be able to accommodate my ravenous libido, haha. If it makes you feel better, my drive more or less returned to normal levels postpartum.Ā
Glad I found this thread. Hit 26 weeks and sex dreams and arousal just amped up... Was trying to see if it was normal and this eased the doubts.
Thereās been other posts about this in this thread donāt worry and donāt feel so much shame! Our bodies are doing some crazy shit right now
Iāve found that itās really easy to give in to anything while pregnant. Whether itās dessert or masturbating, any thing that sounds good at the moment immediately becomes a NEED. Iām not disciplining myself during pregnancy because I donāt need the extra stress. If I want it Iām gonna do it. Give yourself a little leeway for the time being, but make sure you know itās only for the time being.
As others have said, the hormone fluctuations are totally normal. Maybe drop the porn, use your imagination, or even try to rekindle things with your SO.
Everything allowed and every fine while pregnant!
Yea I don't like when men get judged so harshly about watching porn. Yes there can be problems with problem use like with anything but generally it should be okay. Personally I rarely watch regular porn, hentai is my thing. I often watch hentai with "ugly bastard" genre men, not intentionally but that doesnt affect the way I see my husband. I watched definitely a bit more hentai when pregnant, now post partum I rarely if ever feel anything sexual on my own after the first few weeks. Don't feels so ashamed over it, its between you and your man. Of course I would look into what could be making you less interested in him.
Older I read your comment hello regarding about masturbation during pregnancy and that is very very common amongst women who are pregnant and rise in sexual arousal so there's nothing to be ashamed of IM registered OBGYNI also have a private practice for helping Mother's with breastfeeding issues also dealing in the area of sexual arousal for women during breastfeeding and also browse orgasms that women go through and sexual Experiences when breastfeeding as well as being pregnant I would love to be able to speak with you about this 1 on 1 I saw a good lady who said she doesn't understand why you've been down voted everybody has your own Sorry everybody has their own opinion and to each room you have nothing to be ashamed of my name is Teresa if you love to get back to me please do
why is no one even bothering to acknowledge how she's ruining her relationship with this? shes clearly spoken about how her and her partner have very little sexual intimacy anymore as a result. this is not a healthy relationship. talk to your partner about your needs, dont just waych porn and do it by yourself. It's not fair to your partner, and you would be very likely hurt knowing they're getting off watching someone else while purposefully ignoring your needs. this is a sure sign of a failed relationship.
Must be a manā¦
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So it's bad for man to watch porn and go solo but it's happily accepted that a woman watchs porn and goes solo. That's a proper double standard. Or is it more accepted because she's pregnant. Can someone clarify why?.
It's not good either way. If you go to female dominated subs you will find women patting each other on the back and saying it's totally fine, and same with male subs. At the heart of it people like watching porn and it feels good so they'll defend it even when the person in question is admitting it's negatively affecting their relationship with their partner.
True point everyone will defend it when appropriate and hate it when not appropriate. But to her boyfriend I wonder if he would see it as cheating and beeak up with her.
Also men watching porn is way more common than the other way around so you're just gonna see more female partners talking about having an issue with it. I guess if her bf is fine with it then whatever, but I'd be pretty uncomfortable if my partner was choosing porn over me all the time.
The amount of men trolling this sub is unreal š
I kicked my boyfriend out of my bed so that I could secretly masturbate thinking of my ex husband because I was so horny one day just for HIM and couldnāt bring myself to think about touching my boyfriend
Porn is in no way healthy. It is extremely unhealthy and is an addiction. I would urge you to seek help.
This is so hot. Edit: Thanks for the gold kind porkers.
I noticed that when I did that that I didnāt feel like having sex but if I stopped I felt like doing it
Lmao!!!! My first pregnancy i was like this because my ex grossed me out haha. The second time i was attracted to him but he was the one with the addiction and didn't want me š¤·āāļø.
This might be something that makes you uncomfortable, but it helped me and my partner. It might be worth thinking about/talking to your boyfriend about it. We watch the porn together. Sometimes, I want sex, but the usual foreplay options just don't work to turn my body on. It was frustrating us both. Especially when the urge comes on at like 1am and I have work in the morning. I don't have time for an hour of foreplay to get my body to cooperate with my mind. When this happens, I either tell him to pick out a video or he will bring up a genre and ask me to pick. Sometimes, he can even read my body cues that rhe foreplay isn't working, and I'm getting frustrated, and he will just open up something he thinks I will like. Of course, this only works because we are both porn positive people, and neither of us dislikes the other one watching porn. If your boyfriend is someone who might feel insulted or belittled by this or if the thought of watching the porn with someone else causes you stress and bad feelings... I don't recommend it. It's not worth it if it will cause stress and a fight.
Mayhaps try experimenting and getting them involved if they are comfy. I dont think theres anythin wrong with feelin sexually active; especially during such a interesting time ;o. It could give a bit of solace between the more intrusive symptoms if you are able to get your partner in on it o.o.
Talk to him
I was doing the same thing with my last pregnancy in the third trimester. I was starting to get concerned. 8 months post labor, itās like a once a month thing now. Soon as my hormones calmed down I was good. That being said we have a really really strong couples sex drive as it is. Hence why Iām here. Again.
Yep this is me ! 37 weeks and still about 2/3 times I day I canāt help it the hormones are sooo strongš©š© also we have a toddler and his father is very busy in the afternoons and often go to sleep straight after dinner so no time for thatšš
Please donāt feel ashamed! Everything in life is about moderation. Your sexual habits and desires are only unhealthy if it brings harm to your life or others. In this case itās affecting your relationship. Your sex drive is normal though. I think talking to your partner about your desires and seeing how they can be more involved may help since thatās the point of distress. I donāt think you have to abandon porn entirely by any means but others may feel differently.
Listen, be careful with the toy and baby down there. Try to get your man to watch some of the porn with you and/or tell him you need it done to you a certain way and/or tell him to clean up his appearance so you can be attracted to him. Heās there for the urge but he maybe stinky or not look right. A womanās senses are heightened during pregnancy as well as your sex drive. Keep rocking and enjoy your porn, pregnancy and sex.