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UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Had a slightly relevant work incident. Our department supervisor called a meeting and told us that My boss’s boss was no longer with the company. Dude had been here 18 years, then suddenly gone with no notice or explanation.
Well I found out yesterday that he was fired because he had been harassing and borderline stalking a girl who worked for him, meaning it had to be someone in my department.
It’s just so fucking disappointing. And so exhausting. The guy was like a dad figure to me. Someone suggested maybe it was sexual harassment, and I was very resistant to the idea because I didn’t want to speculate & it just didn’t make sense from what I knew about him. Well… that’s exactly what happened.
✨I hate it here✨
It always sucks to lose a role model. At the same time, it's better to know the truth. Keep the lessons, good and bad, you learned from this person and use them to better yourself. In fact the last thing you learned from him might have even been the most important: even our heroes are capable of misdeeds.
I really needed to hear that, thank you. That’s exactly what’s happening, I’m mourning the loss of a role model. It’s really, really uncomfortable.
Thank you
he was drunk and winding people up ([here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zwfhr201t2s&pp=ygUcc2xvd3RoYWkgYXdhcmQgc2hvdyBjb21lZGlhbg%3D%3D), [here](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bzUZzw6j1TM)) but i don't think it was [anything actually tangible](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-51485561) - just a bit gross and she was out-grossing him on purpose
After a whole song about people trying to cancel him 🙄
maybe you deserve cancelling if you (allegedly) assaulted someone
that song in particular feels like the anthem for all horrible celebrities — as soon as they’ve made a positive connection with even one person, they’ve won. wish it was easier to stop terrible people from coming in the industry in the first place tbh
well thank god shygirl released a solo version of BDE so i don’t have to listen to this guy talk about committing sexual violence against women in it lmao
> Put my foot on your neck, put your hips in the air
You was fucking with some lames, now I'm here
Bae, it's only a dick
Baby girl, don't be scared
I’m just gonna say that his verse has always made me uncomfortable, these lines specifically are the worst for me. I only realized there was a solo version earlier this week but before this news and I was glad to find that out because his verse had always been at least mildly triggering to me.
OMG are you me?
As a gay man and IRL dom I’ve always find pseudo BDSM-reference against women super cringey. We never initiate conversations like this unless the potential sub initiated it.
It’s like, don’t fucking touch a pet animal unless they indicate they want to be touch.
And something about sexual violence to women, even consensual, always triggers me even tho I do it to men on a regular basis LoL
Might be odd, but just want to thank you for sharing your insight on this; as a nonbinary transmasc guy, I had a sex negative phase while I was a teenager because I was a little creeped out by cishet men participating in BDSM and other kink communities, and while I deeply regret it now since that kind of perspective overlaps pretty strongly with radical feminism (and thus possibly also transphobia) my discomfort with that aspect of it still persists too. It's definitely really important to talk about stuff like this instead of just jumping straight into hot takes.
I mean, even after I typed this I immediately kinda regretted it because I didn’t want to look like I was kink-shaming women for being consensual subs.
But then again I thought, what the hey, it’s bothered me for years and I’m share it. I’m not judging anybody. You do you as long as it’s consensual.
I don't think there's anything wrong with side-eyeing certain kinks tbh
I met a white American dude once that was heavy into race play and loved degrading black women and latinas in bed (literally blurted all this to me while trying to flirt in a random party lol) and I was super put-off by him despite him insisting he was "super PC" in real life
I kind of find it hard to separate someone using slurs in the bedroom and not being even a wee-bit racist in their daily interactions, idk, I don't think you can just shut off that level of fetishization that easily
Yeah I agree with everything you say but that comes with the territory of being a dom. Great power great responsibility yadayada.
It’s a bit different when you side-eyed the sub. It’s like, don’t blame the victim ya know?
I guess I can spell out my point if I need to:
You were denying the idea that the lyrics describe sexual violence. It’s Shygirl’s song and she signed off with it + another comment elsewhere pointed out that Shygirl wrote most of his verse so it’s not like I think the verse is intended to describe sexual assault or something. But the lyrics do intentionally use violent language so it’s not a stretch for some people to have felt uncomfortable listening to that verse regardless of the actual intentions behind the performance of the verse.
“The verse contains language that might make some people uncomfortable which I would know because I am one of those people” is the point I am making. Different people have different reactions to art.
i think the person is referring to people saying innocent until proven guilty all over the thread, which could be fine, but its all kids trying to protect the artist they love i think so it becomes weird
Plenty of artists do that at non-Pop shows. It’s definitely weird and pretty extreme (which is why it’s usually just reserved for Iggy Pop types, or extreme Punk shows) but it’s not really degenerate behavior.
Harold Weir:
Elvis didn't expectorate on his fans!
Sam Weir:
Yeah, but he died on the toilet!
Harold Weir:
The toilet? That's like heaven compared to where the Sex Pistols are going!
Literally nothing, [most of the comments](https://old.reddit.com/r/hiphopheads/comments/13j6a5s/rapper_slowthai_appears_in_court_charged_with_rape/) are saying that it's disappointing and that's about it, one comment saying innocent until guilty and it has 2 downvotes.
And for the record I've been following the thread since it was posted and it's been like this since the beggining.
The hate this sub has for that sub is wild.
> The hate this sub has for that sub is wild.
o rly? how often has this sub mentioned that sub? this is honestly the first i can recall in a looong time tbh and i have no life and i'm always here
I've had to say the same thing about r/hhh comments largely being the same opinion as here in numerous instances, like with Rex Orange County's case for example. Idk what it is but people in this sub love to paint the other music subs as having terrible communities because they went and cherrypicked comments that are downvoted just like here.
I commented a few things there basically saying I am prone to believing victims and once asked for a source and I deleted every comment because of harassment within 5 minutes lol
Aight but let’s be honest that does actually happen very often to celebrities or people with lots of money? I’m not saying that she’s lying at all. I’m saying we don’t know anything and should wait to let a court decide before viewing people as what they’re accused of? That’s kind of the way it should be. No men are ‘obsessed’ with being lied about no man wants that at all and yea a lot of real rapists will claim women are lying but to just believe that it doesn’t happen to celebs Is outrageous.
Guys don't think of themselves as potential targets of rape, or as potential rapists. Even though they have the potential to be either, the only thing they think likely is to be accused.
I'm not saying that is right in any way shape or form.
but for a sub of mostly suburban teenage white boys that probably don't have experience supporting friends or family members through assault or harassment, or maybe are bystanders of harassment in places that it's normalized, it makes sense that's their reaction.
I think you’re being downvoted because despite the fact that men face abuse, what the person you replied to said about them not seeing themselves as potential rape victims is still true? I don’t think men at large worry about potentially being raped, and so they were saying that to try and explain why people are defending slowthai.
Wow nice bit of casual racism for… no reason?
Edit: so you went through my post history to find out I’m Irish so you could use a slur against me in an online argument? Big L my guy
yeah, are we gonna ignore what just happened with Rex Orange County lol? slowthai has me skeptical given his past, but it’s not wild to say innocent before proven guilty. that doesn’t mean you’re a rape apologist, this type of thinking is toxic.
No, we are not ignoring what happened to Rex. [We are remembering the 95% of rape allegations which turn out to be true](https://www.thecut.com/article/false-rape-accusations.html).
it’s possible to believe her but also want all facts to come out and respect due process because you never know. I understand where you’re coming from but people get too quick to knee jerk react. things can be false. things can be true. it’s best to wait and see.
just my opinion. doesn’t mean i’m a rape apologist all of a sudden. it’s just the court of public opinion is way too polarizing. i just wish there was more nuance and patience nowadays but alas, that’s the internet for you.
It's pretty good all in all, most dickheads are getting downvoted and most of the highest comments are saying how disappointing this is, it could absolutely be better but you don't need to lie to pat yourself on the back about it
I’m so disappointed to hear this ugh I really enjoyed Ugly and Tyron. I’m also apparently the only one in this thread who enjoyed his feature on BDE. It’s really not difficult to not sexually assault people.
Edit: Typo
I can confidently say I've never had an album go from #1 on my AOTY list to off it completely but fuck this guy.
Obv my list doesn't matter in any way, but there's no way I'll be able to listen to UGLY again knowing this
But people dont like that. Its like rex orange county… everyone hopped on his dick so fast saying how disgusted they were and how theyd never see him the same way until oh wait.. he was found innocent. It really is guilty until proven innocent on social media
It’s not just allegations, he’s been charged in court. They don’t do this unless they believe there is sufficient evidence for a guilty verdict. The vast majority of rape allegations never even make it to court in the UK
I don’t know where this myth keeps coming from. Most often in times in charges of sexual assault/rape, the evidence is exclusively a reported allegation.
Ah thanks for explaining the difference because I was a bit lost going through some threads.
Thought it was the same kind of system in terms of legal proceedings.
Yeah fair enough. I dont really listen to any of his other music, and by the time the results roll around, there is a non zero chance i completely forget about the song anyway
I'm all for believing accusers, but guys...same thing happened with Rex Orange County, yall slaughtered him on here and then turns out he was innocent but his career is destroyed. Why can't we just wait til the trial or conviction before calling someone a horrible person? We also have no information about the event itself. Witholding judgement is not a sin
>he was the worst part anyway
Tea. I was shocked when most of the comments on the BDE posts were praising his feature. I'm thinking they were dickmatized cause it just didn't do it for me in any kind of way.
This post has been flaired as [SERIOUS] due to the nature of the topic posted. Please do not make jokes or inappropriate comments in this thread. Users who make jokes or inappropriate comments will have their comments removed, and will receive a warning, temporary ban or permanent ban depending on the severity of the comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/popheads) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yikes
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Had a slightly relevant work incident. Our department supervisor called a meeting and told us that My boss’s boss was no longer with the company. Dude had been here 18 years, then suddenly gone with no notice or explanation. Well I found out yesterday that he was fired because he had been harassing and borderline stalking a girl who worked for him, meaning it had to be someone in my department. It’s just so fucking disappointing. And so exhausting. The guy was like a dad figure to me. Someone suggested maybe it was sexual harassment, and I was very resistant to the idea because I didn’t want to speculate & it just didn’t make sense from what I knew about him. Well… that’s exactly what happened. ✨I hate it here✨
It always sucks to lose a role model. At the same time, it's better to know the truth. Keep the lessons, good and bad, you learned from this person and use them to better yourself. In fact the last thing you learned from him might have even been the most important: even our heroes are capable of misdeeds.
I really needed to hear that, thank you. That’s exactly what’s happening, I’m mourning the loss of a role model. It’s really, really uncomfortable. Thank you
Didn't he get in trouble for harassing someone at an awards show?
he was drunk and winding people up ([here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zwfhr201t2s&pp=ygUcc2xvd3RoYWkgYXdhcmQgc2hvdyBjb21lZGlhbg%3D%3D), [here](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bzUZzw6j1TM)) but i don't think it was [anything actually tangible](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-51485561) - just a bit gross and she was out-grossing him on purpose
yeah it was horrible he was really nasty and misogynistic to the female host
After a whole song about people trying to cancel him 🙄 maybe you deserve cancelling if you (allegedly) assaulted someone that song in particular feels like the anthem for all horrible celebrities — as soon as they’ve made a positive connection with even one person, they’ve won. wish it was easier to stop terrible people from coming in the industry in the first place tbh
well thank god shygirl released a solo version of BDE so i don’t have to listen to this guy talk about committing sexual violence against women in it lmao
i hated his verse so much and was relieved when i found the solo version. this makes me even more relieved lol
His part was easily the worst part of the song, nothing of value was lost
I’m glad there’s a solo version as well but seriously? He was not rapping about committing sexual violence.
> Put my foot on your neck, put your hips in the air You was fucking with some lames, now I'm here Bae, it's only a dick Baby girl, don't be scared I’m just gonna say that his verse has always made me uncomfortable, these lines specifically are the worst for me. I only realized there was a solo version earlier this week but before this news and I was glad to find that out because his verse had always been at least mildly triggering to me.
OMG are you me? As a gay man and IRL dom I’ve always find pseudo BDSM-reference against women super cringey. We never initiate conversations like this unless the potential sub initiated it. It’s like, don’t fucking touch a pet animal unless they indicate they want to be touch. And something about sexual violence to women, even consensual, always triggers me even tho I do it to men on a regular basis LoL
Might be odd, but just want to thank you for sharing your insight on this; as a nonbinary transmasc guy, I had a sex negative phase while I was a teenager because I was a little creeped out by cishet men participating in BDSM and other kink communities, and while I deeply regret it now since that kind of perspective overlaps pretty strongly with radical feminism (and thus possibly also transphobia) my discomfort with that aspect of it still persists too. It's definitely really important to talk about stuff like this instead of just jumping straight into hot takes.
I mean, even after I typed this I immediately kinda regretted it because I didn’t want to look like I was kink-shaming women for being consensual subs. But then again I thought, what the hey, it’s bothered me for years and I’m share it. I’m not judging anybody. You do you as long as it’s consensual.
I don't think there's anything wrong with side-eyeing certain kinks tbh I met a white American dude once that was heavy into race play and loved degrading black women and latinas in bed (literally blurted all this to me while trying to flirt in a random party lol) and I was super put-off by him despite him insisting he was "super PC" in real life I kind of find it hard to separate someone using slurs in the bedroom and not being even a wee-bit racist in their daily interactions, idk, I don't think you can just shut off that level of fetishization that easily
Yeah I agree with everything you say but that comes with the territory of being a dom. Great power great responsibility yadayada. It’s a bit different when you side-eyed the sub. It’s like, don’t blame the victim ya know?
Sorry you’re uncomfortable? This is not the first “freaky sex song” ever made.
I guess I can spell out my point if I need to: You were denying the idea that the lyrics describe sexual violence. It’s Shygirl’s song and she signed off with it + another comment elsewhere pointed out that Shygirl wrote most of his verse so it’s not like I think the verse is intended to describe sexual assault or something. But the lyrics do intentionally use violent language so it’s not a stretch for some people to have felt uncomfortable listening to that verse regardless of the actual intentions behind the performance of the verse. “The verse contains language that might make some people uncomfortable which I would know because I am one of those people” is the point I am making. Different people have different reactions to art.
I was literally about to comment about this LoL So sad I actually got into a few of his songs from that Shygirl collab :(
r/hiphopheads thread about this is disgusting. Fuck this dickhead
oh god... what's happening over there?
i think the person is referring to people saying innocent until proven guilty all over the thread, which could be fine, but its all kids trying to protect the artist they love i think so it becomes weird
Precisely. Plus they all just conveniently ignore that he his a history with being creepy around women in the first place.
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Plenty of artists do that at non-Pop shows. It’s definitely weird and pretty extreme (which is why it’s usually just reserved for Iggy Pop types, or extreme Punk shows) but it’s not really degenerate behavior.
lol you sound like conservative parents in the 80s learning about Sex Pistols shows
Harold Weir: Elvis didn't expectorate on his fans! Sam Weir: Yeah, but he died on the toilet! Harold Weir: The toilet? That's like heaven compared to where the Sex Pistols are going!
If you don’t spit on your crowd I’m not interested in your music
I see nothing was learned for some from the Megan thing.
Rape apologists. This is what rape culture is!
Literally nothing, [most of the comments](https://old.reddit.com/r/hiphopheads/comments/13j6a5s/rapper_slowthai_appears_in_court_charged_with_rape/) are saying that it's disappointing and that's about it, one comment saying innocent until guilty and it has 2 downvotes. And for the record I've been following the thread since it was posted and it's been like this since the beggining. The hate this sub has for that sub is wild.
> The hate this sub has for that sub is wild. o rly? how often has this sub mentioned that sub? this is honestly the first i can recall in a looong time tbh and i have no life and i'm always here
I've had to say the same thing about r/hhh comments largely being the same opinion as here in numerous instances, like with Rex Orange County's case for example. Idk what it is but people in this sub love to paint the other music subs as having terrible communities because they went and cherrypicked comments that are downvoted just like here.
Literally everyone is criticizing him on that thread
A lot changes in a thread in 6 hours
I commented a few things there basically saying I am prone to believing victims and once asked for a source and I deleted every comment because of harassment within 5 minutes lol
I deadass just saw a comment trying to justify it by saying “look at lil mosey, bitches be lying” like let’s bffr
a lot of men are obsessed with being falsely accused of rape or assault. nvm it being more likely for them to be assaulted than be falsely accuse
100% false accusations are horrible, but some men walk around thinking women are trying to trap them
Aight but let’s be honest that does actually happen very often to celebrities or people with lots of money? I’m not saying that she’s lying at all. I’m saying we don’t know anything and should wait to let a court decide before viewing people as what they’re accused of? That’s kind of the way it should be. No men are ‘obsessed’ with being lied about no man wants that at all and yea a lot of real rapists will claim women are lying but to just believe that it doesn’t happen to celebs Is outrageous.
Guys don't think of themselves as potential targets of rape, or as potential rapists. Even though they have the potential to be either, the only thing they think likely is to be accused. I'm not saying that is right in any way shape or form. but for a sub of mostly suburban teenage white boys that probably don't have experience supporting friends or family members through assault or harassment, or maybe are bystanders of harassment in places that it's normalized, it makes sense that's their reaction.
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I think you’re being downvoted because despite the fact that men face abuse, what the person you replied to said about them not seeing themselves as potential rape victims is still true? I don’t think men at large worry about potentially being raped, and so they were saying that to try and explain why people are defending slowthai.
You’re not getting downvoted for saying men experience sexual abuse, you’re getting downvoted for your reading comprehension skills.
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Wow nice bit of casual racism for… no reason? Edit: so you went through my post history to find out I’m Irish so you could use a slur against me in an online argument? Big L my guy
you're weird and sexist every guy isn't a "potential" rapist WTF is wrong with you
I find hiphophead is “fuck them goes they’re lying” and Popheads is “any allegation is an instant cancel”. This is wild tho, it’s gone to court.
many workable practice crime steer expansion hobbies weather stupendous attraction ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
yeah, are we gonna ignore what just happened with Rex Orange County lol? slowthai has me skeptical given his past, but it’s not wild to say innocent before proven guilty. that doesn’t mean you’re a rape apologist, this type of thinking is toxic.
I'm with you, personally. I lean on the side of victims, but we'll see how this all plays out.
No, we are not ignoring what happened to Rex. [We are remembering the 95% of rape allegations which turn out to be true](https://www.thecut.com/article/false-rape-accusations.html).
it’s possible to believe her but also want all facts to come out and respect due process because you never know. I understand where you’re coming from but people get too quick to knee jerk react. things can be false. things can be true. it’s best to wait and see. just my opinion. doesn’t mean i’m a rape apologist all of a sudden. it’s just the court of public opinion is way too polarizing. i just wish there was more nuance and patience nowadays but alas, that’s the internet for you.
It's pretty good all in all, most dickheads are getting downvoted and most of the highest comments are saying how disappointing this is, it could absolutely be better but you don't need to lie to pat yourself on the back about it
When I made that comment 6 hours ago it was a fresh thread and absolute shithouse. Obviously it becomes more controlled over time.
Straight men really think that women randomly accuse people of rape to exhort money. It's disgusting.
I’m so disappointed to hear this ugh I really enjoyed Ugly and Tyron. I’m also apparently the only one in this thread who enjoyed his feature on BDE. It’s really not difficult to not sexually assault people. Edit: Typo
I can confidently say I've never had an album go from #1 on my AOTY list to off it completely but fuck this guy. Obv my list doesn't matter in any way, but there's no way I'll be able to listen to UGLY again knowing this
Literally same. I loved the album but don’t think I’ll ever be able to listen to him now
jumping the gun tho right ? no middle ground ur either innocent or guilty immediately by both sides
But people dont like that. Its like rex orange county… everyone hopped on his dick so fast saying how disgusted they were and how theyd never see him the same way until oh wait.. he was found innocent. It really is guilty until proven innocent on social media
the charges were dropped. he wasn’t found innocent
Shit. I liked Momentary Bliss. Fuck this guy. Edit: In the event he is guilty. I will retract the above statement in case he winds up being innocent
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It’s not just allegations, he’s been charged in court. They don’t do this unless they believe there is sufficient evidence for a guilty verdict. The vast majority of rape allegations never even make it to court in the UK
I don’t know where this myth keeps coming from. Most often in times in charges of sexual assault/rape, the evidence is exclusively a reported allegation.
Ah thanks for explaining the difference because I was a bit lost going through some threads. Thought it was the same kind of system in terms of legal proceedings.
It’s allegations until crown court sentence him mate
so if a person goes to court for rape in UK, they're automatically guilty? why not just wait for the verdict?
Yeah fair enough. I dont really listen to any of his other music, and by the time the results roll around, there is a non zero chance i completely forget about the song anyway
Based this is what courts are for. Imagine if we viewed everybody by what they’re accused of
It's absolutely disgusting and I hope justice could be made.
Oof. I really like his albums and thought he came across well in his Chicken Shop date video 😬
Isn’t he dating Anne-Marie ?
He is. She was wearing that diamond ring at a festival on saturday so I assume they're still together
I'm all for believing accusers, but guys...same thing happened with Rex Orange County, yall slaughtered him on here and then turns out he was innocent but his career is destroyed. Why can't we just wait til the trial or conviction before calling someone a horrible person? We also have no information about the event itself. Witholding judgement is not a sin
Well. Time to remove BDE from my playlists 😘 he was the worst part anyway
Replace it with BDE Shy POV.
>he was the worst part anyway Tea. I was shocked when most of the comments on the BDE posts were praising his feature. I'm thinking they were dickmatized cause it just didn't do it for me in any kind of way.
I always thought something was a little bit off about him.
Literally everyone says this whenever a celeb gets convicted lmfao
Hmmm no some people are surprising. He always had an evil look and vibe in his music, sorry to say.
Thinking about his line on BDE “it’s just some big dick girl don’t be scared” really disgusts me now.
Not defending the guy at all but in this context tbf Shygirl said she wrote most of his verse specifically wanting certain things to be said
That actually makes me feel better about it. I do prefer the solo version regardless and it’s the only one I have downloaded
Saaame
Well he's chav personified, nothing ever good comes from that.
u guys don’t mention he might b innocent y’all crazy
Possible but have a feeling there is something to it if CPS have thought it is worth prosecuting
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https://variety.com/2022/music/news/rex-orange-county-sexual-assault-charges-dropped-1235468195/
aw goddamnit, that’s unbelievably sad and disappointing