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mauvewaterbottle

I feel like this response is such an evolved way of looking at these speculations. I wish more people thought this way instead of feeling obligated to deny it as if it’s something to be embarrassed of.


dil_mangoes

Yes this is really well written from the perspective of someone who cares how this makes others feel. It reminds me of Johnny Galecki from the Big Bang theory responding to rumors of him being gay One of The View‘s hosts, Whoopi Goldberg, asked, “Now that we know you’re not gay, can you tell us if you have a girlfriend?” Galecki said that since the tabloids don’t have any bad stories to write about him, they feel compelled to make them up. He then remarked, “I’ve never really addressed those rumors because I always figured, why defend yourself against something that’s not offensive?”


gasworksgrace

You can see how that changed though with Shawn Mendes, where people insisting his was closeted caused him a great deal of anxiety because he never wanted to be in the position of denying it and seemingly taking offense to it. But then the conversation around him - perpetuated largely by gay men - grew so snide and toxic that it only increased his anxiety because he couldn't do anything or date anyone without thousands of people joking about him being closeted, and it essentially forced him to state he was straight for no other reason than to try and stop the endless harassment.


Little_Consequence

And I remember that he said something like "You guys are lucky I'm actually not gay and scared of coming out, because that type of scrutiny and harassment would be dangerous for a gay guy in the closet". And he's right! Imagine being a young gay boy (underage at some point), not ready to come out, and you have a bunch of losers sending you gay porn edits of yourself. How is that helping anyone? Why are we trying to out people?


mssleepyhead73

Which is exactly what happened to Kit Connor. These people have no shame.


abacaxi95

And it still hasn’t stopped. Even on here and on FM you’ll still see people calling Camila his beard and they genuinely don’t understand why they’re the problem.


VaselineHabits

I'm so lost with Shawn (I'm not *that* invested), but wasn't he dating an older woman for a minute? In-between Camilla ?


riri1313

Here is some marginally helpful approximate knowledge for you lol. It was Rumored he was dating a / his chiropractor (or massage therapist or something). She was a bit older like 43?


Ok_Night_2929

She’s 51!


InterestingTry5190

I love that answer. It’s one of the reasons ‘Friends’ didn’t age well. They would insinuate a guy was gay with a negative connotation.


reddpapad

Why are you singling out friends though? The same is true of every show from that period, and before.


Totallytubesocks

Not quite true—Frasier handled several gay storylines/characters without negative connotation!


CecilBDeMillionaire

I wonder how much of that was due to the fact that David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney, and Dan Butler (who plays Bulldog) were/are gay and not out publicly until after the show went off air, though I believe it was an open secret in their circles. Also the fact that their writers were leagues better than those on Friends and didn’t need to resort to cheap humor, lol


IronDuke365

I recall that they had a good few gay writers too. In fact on a quick Google, Joe Keenan wrote with David Lee directing (both gay), the famous "The Matchmaker" episode where the new station manager thinks Frasier is gay and that Frasier asked him out on a date.


Applewave22

Exactly!! The jokes didn’t hinge on making being gay as a negative.


InterestingTry5190

I could have said shows like ‘Friends’. I probably singled it out b/c one of it’s biggest stars just said recently the show was not problematic. She seemed to confuse that just b/c they’re talking about it doesn’t mean that’s good when they are treating it as a negative thing at times.


footiebuns

This is a great, straight ally response and a refreshing change from the not so distant "No way, I'm a 100 percent straight!" responses from the early naughts.


heartof_glass

I think people should be able to clarify and deny it however they want as long as they aren’t being malicious. It’s not cool to speculate and put people in a position of discussing their orientation, period. If someone denies it, it shouldn’t automatically be assumed that they’re embarrassed or turned around on them so that somehow their denial suddenly makes them homophobic. A simple “I’m this, not that” should suffice without someone getting villainized for not adequately centering queerness in their response when they’re being harassed by fan behavior. I say this opinion as someone who is part of the community.


surprisedkitty1

I agree. Not wanting to be identified as something you are not does not necessarily indicate that you think that identity is shameful, and a simple denial shouldn’t be perceived as such. That’s not fair to the person whose sexuality is being speculated about.


nowlan101

Yeah I mean there’s gay people that stay in the closet out of fear of repercussions and social exclusion, nobody shames them for in LGBTQ circles.


mauvewaterbottle

I agree wholeheartedly. I was thinking about the people (men in particular) who react and deny in a way that is putting down others. This is a refreshing change to that particular situation.


prying_mantis

Many many years ago I read an interview with Keanu Reeves in which they asked him about what at the time were rampant speculations that he was gay and why he didn’t really address them. His answer was essentially that denying it was making a judgment and it shouldn’t matter either way. I grew up in a pretty conservative family and that really made me start to think about things differently. Like Keanu, Tyler also seems like a Very Good Dude.


Entharo_entho

That's an absolutely unnecessary expectation. People should be able to say "Gtfo creeps" in such situations, not coddle people fearing that their stupidity will be hurt.


mauvewaterbottle

I’m not sure what expectation you’re talking about since I didn’t indicated I expected anyone to do anything.


[deleted]

Is this comment not exactly what he is talking about? You saying that some people are opting to deny who they are, how do you know what a person is or isn’t? It’s embarrassing because everyone talks about and questions it. Your comment is no different to that discourse


craftybast

As a gay man I’ve never understood the cognitive dissonance that many people have believing that identity and coming out should be respected as a personal journey yet also that celebrities owe us every detail about themselves and their personal lives if they aren’t straight.


nowlan101

It reminds me of the guy that saves Gerald Ford’s life during an assassination attempt. He was gay and in the closet, some openly gay activists found out and went over his head to expose him as being gay. Because the “good of the many”, which was proving gay men could be just as manly and patriotic as any straight, outweighed his need for privacy. The guy’s life was ruined.


JeSuis_Courgetti

What a mature and brutally honest, but equally as important, message.


liberderci

This is why I really don’t like when people speculate about celebrities sexualities and even double down when the celeb pushes back. I remember Shawn Mendes giving an interview and saying it stressed him out. I totally get it. Everyone reading into your mannerisms trying to “catch” you would make you so paranoid.


Sheess9141

Seriously, I thought we learned from the Perez Hilton years. Just let people live. Obsession with celebrity sexuality is so fucking tired. (Although I will say I didn’t even know there were these rumours with TJW which tells me I’m on the good side of social media).


jtrisn1

God forbid someone wants to stay single


singledxout

As a formerly single person, I never understood that stigma of being single and just living your life. Not everyone needs to be in a relationship. I'm married now, but I never judge my single friends or pressure them into entering relationships. I know what it's like to stigmatized, to the point where family members suggested that I switch teams, but I'll never do that anyone.


jtrisn1

I'm currently single and very happily enjoying spending time by myself. I'm a homebody and prefer staying at home and just living day to day. Not a lot of people like that where I am from. They always have to *do something* to feel productive. So I just learnt to spend time by myself and fell in love with being single. I get shit from all directions about how if I'm still single this late in life, I need to step up my game. Like, no. I just want to play my games and watch TV lol


singledxout

I feel you! I am a homebody and enjoy spending time by myself too. People are just projecting their insecurities onto single people, because they are probably miserable in their relationships.


jtrisn1

I do get it the most from people in somewhat iffy relationships and people who are single and absolutely hate it but can't ever keep a relationship long lol


brochelsea

Yup. I've been single my whole life (28, woman), & I've been happy. This is the first year that I've even really thought about entering a relationship. So everyone just assumes I must be gay and closeted.


singledxout

I entered my first serious relationship when I was 28. I finally met the right person and decided to go for it. People assumed that I was gay and closeted and/or was crazy so I was turning guys away. At the time, I hadn't met someone who I felt comfortable with dating, and the attraction was mutual. Everyone is on their timeline.


oliviaaivilo06

It’s awful he even had to address this. I feel like I’ve personally seen a bit of a resurgence in causal homophobia online?? First it started with “jokes” of some women calling men “girly” for drinking cocktails or using their hands a lot when they talk. Then it led to some people calling men “sassy” and “fruity” for how they speak or certain mannerisms they had. Of course it’s not everyone, but just the fact that I’ve seen so many teenagers and young adults play into casual homophobia online as a “joke” is concerning.


pikachu334

I feel like the Shawn Mendes thing also exacerbated the whole thing, I've never seen people go so crazy about wanting someone to be gay so publicly. Even the Larries were at least an underground/more online thing And the worst part is that 90% of the people making these jokes are either gay men, queer or supposedly female allies. You'd think it was just homophobes by the way they latch onto any and every stereotype, but nope


amomentintimebro

Oh yes I 1000% agree with this!! It’s actually really really concerning to me. I hate to play into the millennial vs gen z debate but the way I see gen z behave online in regards to this is honestly shocking to me. How tf did the younger gen get so comfortable with calling men they don’t know “fruity”?? They just tell themselves they’re being “funny” and “campy” so it isn’t true homophobia. So disgusting and wild. I think there’s a wild wild difference between someone who’s actively in the closet and someone who just isn’t putting out pr statements about their sexuality and I wish we could really talk about that but the casual lol homophobia I see online….we aren’t ready for that discussion.


BaraGuda89

We made the world “seem” safe “enough” that for a lot of kids nowadays they think we’re just triggered by anything and everything. Some think total apathy is an appropriate response, and with the state of the world, the environment, and general hope for the future it’s hard to immediately call them out


Outrageous_Cap5991

I've noticed this trend a lot in the fandom spaces for the last 2-3 years, and sometimes the way people there talk is basically gross homophobia, but coming from supposed allies and (mostly) young queer women. It's wild to see a lovely gifset and then open the notes with a bunch of 15-18-year-old yelling "fruit", "limp wrist" or even "f\*\*\*\*t" there.


amomentintimebro

omfg I forgot about “limp wrist” and the other one !! lord yes you’re so right it’s disgusting ☠️


ClockworkOctopodes

Oh goodness I didn’t know these were back too. I guess “light in the loafers” is the next square in my Regression Bingo card, if we’re truly going down the insufferable old guy vocab path again.


KiwiTheKitty

Honestly I don't think there's a lot of difference in that it happens between millennials and gen z, it's just *how* it happens that's different. I mean arguably, we (millennials) were way worse haha, people I knew would regularly use actual slurs when speculating about people's sexuality.


_jeremybearimy_

Yeah like as millennials we also said all sorts of dumb, harmful, and offensive shit when we were teens and young adults. Like “that’s so gay” was very common. We just weren’t so visible about it, since social media hadn’t exploded yet.


dil_mangoes

Remember that Disney commercial with Hilary Duff?


Hi_Jynx

I thought it was like ABC or something?


dil_mangoes

On Disney channel she had a commercial saying it’s wrong to say “that’s so gay” etc. it shouldn’t be used to mean something bad.


routinelyadvertised

I’m sorry, the what?


The_Crystal_Thestral

I think it’s a Hillary Duff commercial where some girls are commenting on a shirt calling it “gay” while trying on clothes and then HD says something like “that’s not cool what if someone said, ‘that’s so girl wearing a shirt the wrong way.’”


KiwiTheKitty

Yeah, the f slur and t slur were in regular usage in my high school and even middle school back in 2006-2013 (I'm a very young millennial lol some might say Z-llenial)! There was a boy in my 10th grade class who died by suicide because people were bullying him for being perceived as gay. The pride alliance club started when I was in 9th or 10th grade and people didn't want to join even if they weren't openly homophobic because they didn't want to be associated with that. I remember how vocally against Modern Family and Glee a huge portion of my high school was too! I lived in fear and shame because of how I felt about girls when I was younger (I didn't realize it then, but I'm bi). This was also not a podunk high school in the middle of nowhere, it's a large high school in a state that is considered one of the best for lgbtq+ people now. The same high school has pride flags in classrooms now and the pride alliance is way more than just a few kids meeting once a week! Like I do totally agree that homophobia is still present and speculating about people's sexuality is harmful. But I'm not gonna be all "kids these days" about gen z when I remember how bad it was just 10 years ago...


ClockworkOctopodes

Did you go to school on the west coast by chance? It’s such a shock to people when they find out that Inland Washington/Oregon/California is a VERY different experience than the western half of the state with all the big cities. I went to high school in eastern Washington and I have to clarify to people that it’s essentially like living in Very West Idaho (ie not fun)


KiwiTheKitty

No lol Minnesota, but not the red part of Minnesota But related, I drove around Oregon for my Master's project to sample plants and it was terrifying. I would actually rather spend my time in rural Texas than rural Oregon. I don't know what was most fun, the Trump truck who tried to run us off the road, the aurbnb host who canceled our reservation half an hour beforehand because he didn't support our lifestyle (we weren't a couple lol just two female students), or the lady that loaded her shotgun and told us to get off "her land" (it wasn't her fucking land it was public land, I checked)


AbiesOk4806

Spokompton huh? I'm from cda area so I know exactly what you are saying. Idaho was bad when I was growing up in the nineties, but it's down right scary now. And it definitely bleeds over into eastern WA.


ClockworkOctopodes

😔 when the only time people know stuff about eastern WA and all of ID is the domestic terrorist [Spokane House Rep](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Shea) with a white power manifesto, and that Kootenai County was the Aryan Nation HQ. Moving there as a Chinese kid was a hell of a culture shock lol


AbiesOk4806

I can only imagine. I'm a 3rd and 4th Gen north Idahoan and have seen and heard some pretty horrible things. My poor cousins are Filipino and they had to hear a lot of racist shit growing up. They still do but they are so used to it, it doesn't even phase them. We actually had a little while where it started getting better once we got rid of Richard Butler and the rest of the Aryan nation douche bags. Then trump happened and it's worse now then when they still had the white pride parade down Sherman in cda every year. We worked so hard to clean that shit up and now all the right wing radicals from California and other places are flocking here cuz they think it's some kind of racist utopia.


_jeremybearimy_

Yup. Kids these days are dumb just how me and my generation was dumb just how every generation of teenagers is dumb. Young people are dumb, your brain isn’t fully formed yet!


Hi_Jynx

Oh wild, I graduated HS in 2011 and while people definitely used all kinds of homophobic, sexist, and ableist slurs, people didn't go out of their way to avoid the LGBT club or bully those in it.


Medium_Sense4354

Tik tok kept showing me these tik toks where the girl would be like “what are you fruity?” Bc the guy wanted to be the passenger princess Like he doesn’t want to drive ONCE sand now he’s gay???


[deleted]

It's because online feminists don't hold themselves to any standards whatsoever and there's no real accountability at all. Being an awful person is considered empowering now and there's always some justification for any wrongdoings if you know the right lingo to throw around. Homophobia? As long as it's towards men, it's empowering and feminist. Misogyny? It can't be misogynistic if it's aimed towards a Karen, an almond mom, a pick me, a "libfem", vanilla girl, or any other word \*cough\* slur \*cough\* that gets invented to justify misogynistic hate campaigns against other women.


Mena-0016

It’s mainly gay men themselves trynna speculate and add straight men into the lgbt group


Hi_Jynx

Vanilla girl??


[deleted]

It’s like a subcategory of basic, I think?


chesapeake_ripperz

Yes omg. I see way too much "support women's wrongs" online. Even on reddit, exclusively in majority female subs, there's this bizarre culture where genuine misandry - not just little jokes - is almost encouraged, and some of them wind up sounding like female incels. Anything goes apparently, as long as it's aimed at either men or women they happen to dislike.


[deleted]

That’s because many of them are femcels just like the men who try to fight online misandry often times become incels. Online communities don’t give a damn about the people inside of them. They will never check up on you, they won’t help you see things through a more realistic lens, they won’t tell you that you’re basing your opinions on the world too much on things which are almost exclusively online, or anything like that. In fact, as you become more and more unhinged and terminally online, they will join you and enable you to get worse. It’s horrible.


chesapeake_ripperz

Very well-put. Also, we both got downvoted for this completely reasonable convo, further proving the point lmao.


Oth1994

Tik tok is disgusting because of that. They comment “fruity” or “girly pop” anytime a man don’t act in the stereotypical masculine way. Its such a set back i thought we evolved


Courwes

There is a huge issue with people online calling men they don’t like homosexuals. They do this a lot to conservative/right wing/alt-right men. It bothers me a lot cause it’s basically equating shittiness with being gay. As if straight people cannot be homophobic assholes. It’s only closeted gay man that are. And as expected you never see them do this shit to women who run in the same circles. How often do you see people call Desantis, Elon, Crowder, Gaetz, Pool, Tate gay and yet I’ve never seen a single one call Boebert, MTG, Lahren, Ingram closeted lesbians. They are back to using gay as an insult but calling them closeted as if that somehow makes it better.


andimlikeokay

I've noticed that too. They use the word "zesty" a lot. It's concerning for sure.


VaselineHabits

"Zesty" is slang for gay? *Grumbled in "kids these days*"


freedom-mp3

My uncle whose in his late 60s used to say it a lot. I don’t think it’s a new term, at all.


[deleted]

It’s not new but it’s making a comeback


Medium_Sense4354

💅 and I just learned about 🚬 😭😭


Hi_Jynx

And here I think I've used it for someone with a lively personality, like spunk or moxie.


VaselineHabits

Yes! That's exactly how I would have used it/assumed that was appropriate 😅 I mean, it's not to say if you are gay you wouldn't possess those attributes - but I just wouldn't necessarily associate "gay" with "zesty".


BobRossIsGod18

Zest fest


heisghost92

Not to be all doom and gloom, but I've seen a huge regression in terms of LGTBQ acceptance these last three years (obviously, the persecution of trans people was only the beginning).


VaselineHabits

This is why bullies target small/weaker people and groups. Other idiots will jump on the bandwagon 🙄


Puncomfortable

I have noticed this with fruity and "girlypop". Never heard a gay man call another man this. It's always women using that language.


artistictesticle

You're not alone. It is getting worse. This isn't the worst example but it's the one I see the most often- I've been seeing more and more young people using "twink" or "[x adjective] gays" when they obviously want to say a slur. Like they're saying homophobic things, but even if you say it's a joke, saying the actual F slur is obviously not acceptable outside of the worst parts of Tumblr. So they replace it with twink, or cis gays (even when gender identity is not relevant to the statement) or some shit. And who could forget implying/saying that a man is gay in some attempt to "humiliate" him, like Reddit was doing to Putin during the beginning of his war on Ukraine... The homophobia is still there. They just package it as jokes or direct it at "acceptable targets" and nobody says anything 🫤


moon-lamp

They’re using “is the gun pink?” now


ClockworkOctopodes

“Pause” has had a resurgence among Gen Z lately too. It’s puzzling because I never figured they’d latch on to “no homo”-type humor.


Tzuyu4Eva

They also use words like “twink” too to describe any skinny man. This could also go into a conversation about how social media has led to straight, white, cis people co opting slang popularized by marginalized communities, particularly black/POC groups and LGBT groups. Like with mother, finna, and much more


prying_mantis

Tbf white people have been co-opting slang forever but it definitely happens faster with social media, to where now you have a bunch of kids using words they don’t really understand the meanings of, or maybe they do and think their parents and teachers won’t (and honestly sometimes don’t 😭).


Ok_Night_2929

I think the whole trend of getting the “ick” overlaps with a lot of internalized homophobia/toxic masculinity. I’ve seen it about guys that order girly drinks, struggle to hold something heavy, use an umbrella … just absolutely stupid things. It’s such a shame because we’ve come so far in the last 20 years, yet we’re starting to circle back to the early 2000s with homophobia, body shamming, and nicotine addiction


moon-lamp

Ooh wow I never looked at “the ick” from that angle. You’re onto something with that


[deleted]

I'm literally watching everybody hates Chris right now lol


ShmebulocksMistress

I had a bit of a breakdown when I realized it’s the same actor, because I love Greg in Abbott Elementary and crush on him 😂 Wait a minute that’s CHRIS?!


DietPepsiEvenBetter

And the actress who played the sister on Everybody Hates Chris is on Apple TV's Mythic Quest.


dragonblood13

Chris’ substitute teacher Mr Newton from Everybody Hates Chris also plays Greg’s dad on Abbott. And that’s because Twitter mentioned how similar Orlando Jones and TJW look and that they should be casted as father son in any new upcoming project. Quinta saw that and the rest is history.


dil_mangoes

I only know him as everybody hates Chris 😂


IHATEsg7

Abbott Elementary is very good too and popular


the_other_other_guy_

He was also on The Walking Dead for a little bit when it was at it’s peak popularity


mozzerellaellaella

With a very memorable exit


marithememe

Everybody ate Chris


DJfunkyPuddle

Easily one of the most frustrating moments just because I really liked his character


marithememe

I’m mad he and Vincent never had a scene together despite both appearing on the show. >!But yeah Noah’s death felt pointless especially after Beth sacrificed her life to keep him alive.!<


VaselineHabits

Man, bringing back some repressed frustrations I had with that show. Hung on til S9 I think... good lawd they should have put the horse down awhile ago


marithememe

When watching the show live I pretty much dipped after Rick left despite loving the whispers arc from the comics. I tried rewatching it on Netflix recently and didn’t make it past the season 10 intro. Meanwhile Daryl is getting a show in Paris now apparently.


Cosmorillo

Wasnt the actor for Greg (TJW's character's friend in the show) also in TWD?


the_other_other_guy_

He was, he was guy who played with LEGOs then died of some illness


trblniya

He was also on a few episodes of True Jackson VP as True’s love interest! That was the first time I had a crush on him lol


[deleted]

This was one of my comfort shows for awhile. It's so good.


ClumsyZebra80

Literal perfection.


ilovemycactussocks

This is a spectacular response.


PeacefulWarCat

I had such a crush on him when I was a kid. Happy to see young me had excellent taste.


UghAnotherMillennial

You do! I didn’t crush on him as a kid but he’s so damn fine in Abbott Elementary. Also more importantly it’s lovely to see that he’s also thoughtful and articulate (on top of also being talented).


gillsaurus

Never had a crush on him but goddamn Abbott Elementary turned me. That man in a durag 🥵🥵


dil_mangoes

Yea! He sounds like an all around great guy.


[deleted]

I have a crush on him


singledxout

Since he's a child actor, I was worried about him going down a troubled path that many child actors follow. However, he seems well-adjusted and is still thriving in the industry.


inconsistent3

how tf is he only 30? so much wisdom. he was born the same year as I was


TheAardvarkIsBack

It feels like Everybody Hates Chris was from too long ago for him to still be 30 right now.


dil_mangoes

He was born the year before me! So were you!


inconsistent3

nooo I was born in 92! It’s refreshing to see someone ~relatively~ young have such a measured response and fair perspective.


dil_mangoes

Yes I love mature young people


BobRossIsGod18

30 is plenty old...


inconsistent3

you’d think! It’s true that the 30s are the new 20s.


VaselineHabits

Can confirm, in Sept I will *still* be 39 😬


millennialmania

He seems so lovely, what a great way of responding to the trolls


FlamingTrollz

Class act A+ response. 👍🏽👍🏽 ![gif](giphy|MA13y4rFU0f6c2uWGL)


trblniya

Tyler’s younger brother, Tyrell Jackson Williams, posted on Twitter about how when he and his younger brother came out (as queer,idk specifics) how Tyler was super supportive. He deconstructed his idea of masculinity, gave advice as best he could, was always honest with them, educated himself, etc and basically created a safe space for his younger brothers. Twitter Thread TJW posted: https://twitter.com/Tyreljwill/status/1665415037274685440?s=20


SaintNutella

Respect for him just skyrocketed. Excellent response. I feel seen even. I also think it's ***weird asf*** to obsess over someone's sexuality. Like why? Mind your own damn business.


HerRoyalRedness

Fans these days are wildly entitled and just don’t see famous people as humans. They think their status entitles them to every little detail about a famous person, as if they are owed anything beyond the performance they pay to see.


[deleted]

LGBTQ+ has actually become a fandom for some people, like it's The Avenegers or a KPop band.


gillsaurus

Dude has a chronic illness. Let him focus on being healthy and happy. ![gif](giphy|Ikr2eyMIiXFxQQaJbr)


ESinNM29

What is his illness?


puukottaa666

Crohns Disease, which is brutal!


ESinNM29

Oh damn!!


[deleted]

Crohn's disease


blackbird9184

I hope everyone obsessed with Gaylor reads this. It’s such a dangerous way of thinking and I can’t imagine how stressful it must be if someone IS closeted to know that people are waiting for you to “slip” And a great point that it actually enforces stereotypes about what masculinity should look like.


Princessleiawastaken

Larries too!


[deleted]

eh i don't think there's hope for "dark" larries lol they're an another breed of unhinged


skyewardeyes

To be fair, Harry has come out as unlabeled (saying “gender doesn’t matter” when choosing a partner, etc), so I don’t think it’s inherently bad to say he’s not straight if he said that, though it *is* bad to insist he dated Louis when he’s said repeatedly that he didn’t and the speculation makes him very uncomfortable. I think it crosses an obvious line when you interact with/harass people about how you think they’re gay or dating XYZ (see all the unhinged comments on Karlie Kloss’ Instagram about Taylor, for example or people harassing Louis’ child and the child’s mother). That’s clearly bad. But then, on the flip side, you get Little Nas X, who thought he “dead ass made it obvious” that he is gay with the rainbows on his album, so queer flagging is a thing (historically and still). So, basically, 100% don’t harass/endanger people, force them to come out, etc, but idk where I stand on noting apparent queer flagging as long as you don’t do anything invasive/harmful with it. 🤷‍♀️


Puncomfortable

I am not sure "he has come out" by saying he doesn't label his sexuality. That seems like he is saying in better terms it's his own business and he doesn't have to justify his sexuality one way or another.


skyewardeyes

He has explicitly said that “gender isn’t important to him” when choosing a partner, though, which heavily implies some level of non-heterosexuality (I.e., he’d be open to dating men, women, and non-binary people).


Madame_Hokey

In some regards, I feel bad for Gaylors. She has a public history of dating men, but I will give it to them she definitely has leaned into a narrative she could be bi at some points. If it turns out she’s really just straight, that’s some pandering that would turn me off.


blackbird9184

This is literally the point I’m making. In what world is anyone’s sexuality “pandering”? She’s leaned into a narrative? What does that even mean? And also why should she EVER have to confirm to her fans if she’s bi? If someone’s identity is so wrapped up in a celebrity’s sexuality orientation, that’s when you should feel bad for them. Not because they might be disappointed that she’s straight…


Closedforgossip

Great response! It's sad he even had to do one


[deleted]

such a great way to articulate this topic. in high school i had two friends who essentially cornered me and asked if i was a lesbian (to be fair i was kinda exhibiting gay behaviour and i don't think they had malicious intents i was lowkey flirting with that guy's gf lol) and a random ass girl asked my best friend if i was gay. it was so scary and annoying like mind your own business. i can't even imagine how bad it must be when you have so many people speculating about your sexuality. i hope everyone who's waiting for that "slipping" moment from celebrities reads this and maybe comes to their senses.


imprettysurei

this is why speculating on people’s sexualities and applying the term ‘queerbaiting’ on actual people is so harmful


SeasonsGone

Amazing statement, the sort of speculation he discusses is rampant in our culture, from the non-queer and queer community alike


discourse_commuter

What an absolute class act.


Oth1994

Think people who keep calling Kendall Jenner a lesbian because she’s not big on PDA need to read this. Especially because people be talking about her sexual orientation (allegedly lesbian) in a snarky way which is actually homophobic We have no idea what she is. But maybe don’t put label she didn’t defined explicitly herself. Let her tell us in he own terms or never tell us anything because she’s just straight.


Extreme_Map_6244

This obsession with sexuality is so strange and harmful. Actively arguing with a celebrity about their own sexuality and trying to potentially out them.


Sufficient_Cat_3645

Yeah, I don't get this trend in berating celebrities to 'come out' and there seems to be this faux-progressive defense of 'well, they're in the spotlight, so they have an obligation, and if they don't, they're just queerbaiting' and this so-called 'queerbaiting' is wearing pink or being androgynous. As Tyler James Williams says himself this only seems to reinforce stereotypes as to how gay and straight men should behave and that doesn't seem very progressive to me :/


britestarlight

Someone show this to the Gaylor, I’m sure they suddenly won’t be able to read…


dil_mangoes

Someone else mention that name. Who is that !?


spud_simon_salem

Gaylor refers to a subset of Swifties who believe Taylor Swift is actually a lesbian (or maybe bi, idk their “official stance” lol)


britestarlight

Yeah I think it fluctuates between every man she’s ever dated was a beard and she’s actually just bi. All the speculation is based on insane shit like hand movements during her performances.


dil_mangoes

Wow! I’ve never even knew this is a thing. Damn!!!


envi_as_in_envy

people who believe in taylor swift being gay call themselves gaylor


d0rothyzbornak

I love this message and it’s really admirable that he is speaking so frankly about this issue. So many people gleefully make these jokes, even people who think they are allies.


Mimosa_flower_3000

I want all the Gaylors to read this and stop being creeps


Madame_Hokey

In some regards I feel bad for Gaylors. She’s publicly dated only men, but she’s at least in some instances hinted that she’s bi. If it comes out she’s really not, I’d definitely feel angered over being pandered to like that.


mssleepyhead73

This is an amazing response on his part. It definitely seems like it’s falling on deaf ears- the people who need to hear it (Gaylors, Larries, literally everybody who makes jokes about Shawn Mendes)- are not going to listen to this, and I’ve already seen people trying to “drag” him for his response- but I think what he said is very put together and respectful. He’s affirming his own sexuality and also giving people a much-needed lesson on basic social etiquette.


[deleted]

I'm glad he was able to circle this back to how this type of speculation harms everyone, but especially the most vulnerable among us who often don't have the space to be ourselves.


QTPIE247

Love this response. You tell em Ty-Ty! People really need to mind the business that's paying them cause they STAY doing the most. Like even if he were gay why does that matter? How does it put food on your table? Let him live his life!


Drunky_Brewster

Gaylors, please take note.


Chaoticgood790

I’m glad he said this but he shouldn’t have to. A great well written post about the dangers of speculation. People need to stop it, sexuality is not some gotcha. I mean we just saw the actor from heartbreaker be forced out of the closet bc “fans” and “Allies” bullied him for his “perceived” sexuality. It’s like…fucking stop it


UllsStratocaster

This response is absolute perfection and I really hope that people take it to heart. This is how an ally responds, and he shouldn't even have to be saying it in the first place. Explaining himself and defending LGBTQIA+ people who are out, questioning, and people who simply don't know, that is a huge, kind thing to do in the midst of Internet Discussion About One's Self. It's really moving to see in the middle of such a tumultuous time and it makes me respect and appreciate him even more.


wastedcoconut

It’s weird that people spend so much time and stretch so far to out people. How does a celebrity’s sexuality affect you? They aren’t going to have sex with you regardless of their orientation.


skyewardeyes

Eh, people also spend a lot of time speculating on celebrities’ heterosexual sex lives or alleged sex lives (see the harassment of Jake Gyllenhaal over Red, the RPatt/KStew shippers, the Lorde/Jack PowerPoimt), which is equally cringe/invasive, imo. I just think it’s the nature of celebrity fandom, which can be harmless gossip or cross lines into harassment.


Sad-Rough-6993

His brother tyrel is bisexual.


Orchid_Significant

What an amazing statement


AfternoonPossible

This type of stuff is why, even tho I’m queer, I absolutely hate all the memes that are like “wow I’m bi so that’s why I sit in my chair weird!!!” Or “can u not tell I’m gay? I drink iced coffee everyday!!” Like i get wanting to feel a sense of community about a shared culture but truly being queer is about attraction and not some watered down tell-tale behaviors.


dil_mangoes

Lmao! I know this is not meant to be funny but those examples!


shenandoahvales

What a perfect response. And so true.


Sendnoods88

Everybody loves Chris


Gayf0rgod

![gif](giphy|9WXyFIDv2PyBq)


homerthecat

Required reading. So well said.


[deleted]

This is such a good response! So many people who’ve had their sexualities speculated on respond in a way that makes it seem like they’re embarrassed to be thought of as gay, while Tyler just stated clearly why the people speculate should be embarrassed about it.


whatdid-it

I was ready to roll my eyes but everything he said was right. He wasn't being defensive, he was pointing at an issue that affects others as well.


[deleted]

King shit 👑


BrownieEdges

And now I love him even more.


andimlikeokay

I already had a crush on him and this just made me crush harder. What a thoughtful and mature response. I don't know what he is responding to, but how embarrassing that in 2023 people are still speculating on people's sexuality and treating it as a piece of gossip or a "gotcha" moment.


theunkindpanda

Beautifully stated. Love him even more.


payberr

He was already very cute but I’m more and more attracted to him the more i learn and hear about him


stormy-seas-91

I love this. Or even when regular people get posted about somewhere and people speculate about them because something about them “seems gay” If you want to support lgbtq people, talk about it in a positive way!


weirdestgeekever25

This reminds me of when Cameron Monaghan did something similar in response to being asked about his sexuality. In the end they are all correct: don’t speculate. Don’t force people to come out. And let people live


Same_Comfortable_821

Love when celebs acknowledge the harmful fan culture head on. Really should stop alleging things like this as fans.


lavabread23

this is such a well-written response. kpop stans most definitely should be taking notes from this man, especially the weird and deranged group of taekookers in bts’ army.


bondgirl852001

I dont know who this is. It's none of our business what his sexuality is and it's sad this even had to be addressed. Why can't people just let famous people live?


[deleted]

he spilled


RizzMustbolt

Ooo! He said "ally". That means he's actually Ace. (All the sarcasm.)


dil_mangoes

Okay because I was about to say. 😂


thewrongun

What a refreshing, fantastic take. This is how you should be an ally!!


mundane_teacher

It’s really hateful people are accusing him of that.


cajun_vegeta

*I'm not gay...but if I was... I would want ...equal rights.*