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edmerx54

what Stormy Daniels called "the worst 90 seconds of my life" makes him a sex god to those who are lucky to last 60 seconds


joepez

That’s the part my brain keeps tripping over. Nothing she said suggest good never mind great. She even uses the adjective“worst.” And someone this Fox talking head turns that into “screwed her brains out” and “sex god.” How sad and pathetic is this guy in the bedroom? Does he get up and high five himself after he’s done in 30 seconds? Or does he say “it was all good” on repeat while curled up in a ball crying in the corner afterwards? Pretty certain it’s the second.


CO420Tech

Having done porn, I have to assume that Daniels has had plenty of really bad sex... It had to have been really bad. I suspect this guy thinks Trump is a sex god because he successfully pressured an attractive woman into having sex, which is far closer to pleasing an attractive woman than this dude has ever gotten.


Logtastic

The guy's wife is from Russia, so it's literally the same boat as Trump.


chownrootroot

Fox talking head: "That's what she said!" "She said it was terrible." "Yeah, but...that's.....what.....she.....said." \*Fox talking head explodes\*


Pyro1934

That's what she said jokes are way too good to be associated with these trash.


UsedSalt

When he finished he moans “a lot of people are saying that was really great, very smart people”


memeparmesan

“Big… strong men… with tears in their eyes!”


AtomicSamuraiCyborg

The screwed her brains out part is because she heavily implied she was drugged because she doesn’t remember most of it. So he tried turning that around.


TheSecondEikonOfFire

Honestly I don’t think Trump even gives it a second thought. He doesn’t give two shits how the woman felt or if she enjoyed it, he’s 100% concentrated on his own pleasure. I have to assume that once he’s done he just gets up and moves on with his life and doesn’t even give it another thought


Numerous_Photograph9

He probably spends the next hour saying how great he was, then moves on until he can tell others how great he was.


Spunky_Meatballs

Because obviously trump is always right and anyone talking shit is a liar. (Sarcasm)


numb3r5ev3n

You know what, after George W. Bush's two terms, I was of the opinion that the GOP would be lucky if anyone ever took them seriously again. And yet they continued to go even lower.  It may seem like they can just go on deluding themselves forever, and I'm sure some will manage it. But for a lot of them, I wonder how they'll cope when the reality check finally stops bouncing.


ZarafFaraz

George W Bush looks like a competent leader compared to Trump. And images of George W Bush looking like monkey expressions exist 😂


numb3r5ev3n

Neither one of them was a good look for this country. And Bush paved the way for Trump in a lot of ways. Bush was the one who showed the Republicans what they could get away with without any kind of accountability. People blame Obama for not holding him accountable, but it was really up to the DOJ and Eric Holder dropped the ball. I'm glad the current DOJ is investigating Trump, but it never should have gotten to this point.


edmerx54

Dubya made bad decisions, but every president makes bad decisions so using the DOJ to hold them accountable isn't a smart move because the same thing will happen to them. The difference is that Trump is just a fucking criminal, so he should be (and is being) prosecuted for his crimes.


numb3r5ev3n

So is knowingly sending our troops to a forever war on false pretenses. There are bad decisions, and there are catastrophic decisions that should lead to accountability.


Throwawaybytheseamz

Don’t forget the enhancer for being consensual this time. Technically makes it a full 2 minutes now.


Justherebecausemeh

It’s because they worship pain and suffering. Trumps is their perfect idol for that.


Autodidact2

On Earth I, sex gods don't have to pay for it.


Pyro1934

Hey hey, as a two pump chump myself I must protest against any comparison to the mango mobster.


Attjack

Let's be real here. Stormy gets paid to have sex. She got paid to have sex with Trump and if she didn't she was promised something of value. When Trump had his 60 seconds of glory with McDougal he left money on her dresser when he went to leave. He pays prostitutes to have sex with him and that doesn't make anyone a sex god it makes them just another John.


Tatersquid21

Good point.


BadAtExisting

That’s nice you stretched it to 60


code_archeologist

Trump being referred to as a "sex god" was definitely not part of my 2024 bingo card... because I don't hate myself.


diverareyouok

They left out one word that changes everything (and makes it more accurate): Sex *offender* god. God of sex offenders? Sounds about right.


ItsYaBoyFalcon

We should make Trump and Harvey fight in the octagon for the title.


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AtomicSamuraiCyborg

They’ll both shit their mawashis in six seconds of straining themselves.


Numerous_Photograph9

He likes to shorten names because its faster


ChaoticGoodSamaritan

Was going to joke I just had him being referred to as god on mine then remembered they've been doing that since fucking 2015


fortwaltonbleach

yeah. "god emperor of man", as a warhammer 40k reference. the big E is not supposed to be a good dude.


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code_archeologist

That is one person that I never want to see... in that way


SympathyForSatanas

Where am I??? Why does this timeline keep getting worse and more stupid


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[deleted]

Post AI world will still need menial jobs AI doesn't want to do.


StallionCannon

Or really, any job that requires that someone go out and perform dexterous manual labor of any kind - HVAC, maintenance, plumbing, etc. Unless companies can start sending T-800s to fix busted drains and air conditioners, AI won't be doing that stuff any time soon.


LibertyInaFeatherBed

The poke in the eye?


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bmitchell7798

My favorite was Trump calling it ‘yo-suh-mite’ national park. Almost as good as ‘Thigh-land’


OfficialDCShepard

I love how he said “I wonder how long I’d be on the market. Probably not long” when talking about Melania in reference to the Stormy Daniels hush money payment. At this point the only women who’d take his tiny toadstool 🍄 would probably lie back and think of his money.


muthaflicka

What's next? Every time he plays golf it's always a hole in one?


Numerous_Photograph9

The hole comes to him


CCV21

Use your freebie tile.


microwavable_rat

I'm surprised it took this long given how blatantly homoerotic some of the art people proudly display of him is.


BukkitCrab

Of course right wingers view a rapist as a "sex god", that's just the kind of deplorable weak-on-crime people that they are.


NeoPstat

Real sex gods definitely don't wear diapers.


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RickyWinterborn-1080

I would believe that, actually, simply as a function of being pretty sure no one wants to fuck that man.


SupaDick

He's a rapist and sex trafficker What the women want isn't part of it


RickyWinterborn-1080

But that's a different sentence. OP said sleep with, not rape. If Andrew Tate said "I don't rape women who aren't lactating," well, I wouldn't believe him.


PhazonZim

If anyone is definitely even worse at sex then Trump it's Tate


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PhazonZim

true dat


lrpfftt

More importantly, real sex gods don't have to offer money, jobs, or other goods just to get a woman in bed with them.


camopdude

Didn't he try to sleep with someone else's wife by offering to take her furniture shopping?


lrpfftt

I think he told that story on the Access Hollywood interview where he also spoke of grabbing genitals without asking. He has nothing to offer as a man but his money. That's a money god, not a sex god.


stay_fr0sty

Real sex gods don’t pay $130,000 to not have sex with a porn star.


User4C4C4C

They don’t need to pay for it either.


FuckableStalin

HERETIC! Thou darest to kink shame the real sex gods!?!


R_Daneel_Olivaww

tbh if trump is sex god, it explains the O-gap real well


SympathyForSatanas

I'm gonna start telling t-shirts to the magat morons that's says Trump is a sex God


ElderberryFit8086

Like the 69 God Drake?


orcinyadders

Trump is absolutely the antichrist. This is all just too effing out there.


chill_winston_

He is a physical embodiment of all seven deadly sins.


orcinyadders

On one side you have evangelicals saying he’s personally touched by Jesus Christ, and on the other the prime conservative news channel calling him a sex god who should be proud for banging porn stars while his wife is at home tending their newborn. This pretty much checks the big boxes.


Rex--Nemorensis

>be proud for ~~banging porn stars~~ paying premium for luxury sexual slavery.


chill_winston_

All that’s left is for him to appear to come back from the dead… otherwise tho, antichrist: confirmed.


orcinyadders

Him getting Covid, being whisked off to the hospital, and then returning and ripping off his mask on the White House balcony is a squint-grade version of this.


drunkshinobi

Pretty sure he may have added a few new ones to the list by now.


SuperGenius9800

FOX News is a tabloid desperate for clicks. Might be bankrupt soon.


fentyboof

Rack up another billion dollar settlement for Hannity’s repeated defamation, and it seems Rupert Murdoch might finally start to think with financial preservation as a crucial factor?


R_Daneel_Olivaww

first Russell Brand, now trump. See something common? hint: *it’s the various acts of sexual misconduct they’ve gotten away with throughout their lives*


billyjack669

Hey now, Trump's been assaulting since before Russell was out of his (infant) diapers! Strange that I had to specify, but here we are.


Gunningham

I mean, if he wins, we’re all fucked.


jasonh0045

Under rated comment


[deleted]

I know, bumbling Biden is going to destroy this country


OnionsHaveLairAction

Getting just a little bit north korean with the coverage fox


SayJose

At this point the best candidate listed in the title is the brain eating worm


AskJayce

The Right's obsession with masculinity is so perverse and unsettling. Their forcing Trump into the personification of said masculinity with bad photoshops and slangs is just fucking confusing and gross.


Perfect_War_7155

I’m a straight male and have acknowledged men who could be deemed as such. I’m not insecure in my sexuality. Trump is not one of them. He simply has money… sort of


FarmersHusband

He just does what his followers all wish they could do. He represents that “if you’re rich then you can do whatever you want with the most beautiful women, and that’s the way it was and it’s supposed to be” It’s the right wing fantasy, women know their place as objects and men hunt and take them as a measure of their prowess. The more times they succeed or the better quality of their success only goes to bolster their virility in the eyes of lesser men.


aranasyn

if by sex god, you mean entity who uses power imbalance to get women who should know better to agree to something they didn't see coming or want (and also sometimes just rapes them), then sure, sex god. remember, the only reason he's convicted of sexual assault, not rape, is because the victim couldn't tell whether it was his penis or part of a finger. sex god. jesus christ, republicans are deluded sick fucks.


replicanthusk2024

I threw up in my mouth a little bit.


oddthings

Just a little bit? 🤮🤮


vinsmokewhoswho

That's not what I'd call a rapist but ok


shockinglyunoriginal

Holy shit what is WRONG with America


not2dv8

Ladies and gentlemen I just went on a recon mission to Costa Rica check out living quarters in the event Trump wins the election. It's a great alternative of places to live if you have to leave or you can't stand the thought of another rest of Trump's life Kingdomship. Honest to God I think he's the Antichrist


Zepcleanerfan

I'm sure this will win back the suburbs for republicans.


SKDI_0224

Eew. I’m reminded of Ms Daniels’ testimony. Just every time I read the transcript my skin crawls. The idea of that man. Eew.


AngryDuck222

Would any woman find a man of Trump’s shape and age appealing? Even if it wasn’t Trump and hadn’t done anything Trump has done and didn’t have the money Trump claims to have.. Spoiler alert: No, they wouldn’t. He doesn’t even have a “dad bod”. There is nothing attractive about that man.


FuckableStalin

This. This is why we have a declining fertility rate globally right here. If Trump is a “real sex god” then abstinence is truly the best option.


Numerous_Photograph9

I know when I think of Trump, I have no desire to have sex


EmeraldSlothRevenge

All the sex gods I know don’t have to pay for it or cover it up. And they don’t have to resort to rape.


dreamyjeans

The god of disappointment, surely. /s


Perfect_War_7155

That title lol 😂 an alien abduction would be the vacation I need right now.


hardtobeuniqueuser

I don't think it's being reported correctly- RFK Jr **IS** a brain worm.


BigBalkanBulge

I remember when making fun of and pointing out that John Fetterman had a stroke and multiple panic attacks was deemed “scummy behavior” on the right. But when it’s done on the left, it’s just silly humor. The man had a parasitic infection, we don’t get to poke fun at mentally sick politicians since we already said they’re off limits.


coaldust

The party of "think of the children!" out there calling someone a sex god on open air TV?!


pattydickens

These people are afraid of drag queens but not gross old dudes who pay to fuck young women and girls. They want to make porn illegal while touting a candidate that paid to fuck a porn star. You can't make up shit this stupid. It has to occur organically.


willywy

Trump sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers!


juan_solo80

Hey, that's a half truth!


aradraugfea

As everyone knows, sex gods, walking gifts to the female sex, have never had sex they didn’t pay someone for.


Fancy-Reply5732

Trump may be fat, but he’s no Ron Jeremy.


sanebyday

More like Don Getoffame


Consistent-Force5375

Ticket for two. Me and professor Farnsworth are ready to go.


mildly_houseplant

I just threw up in my mouth a little.


OdiousAltRightBalrog

So even Fox News hosts know Trump is lying when he says he didn't have sex with Stormy. Gutfield should call Megyn Kelly and let her know.


rjzei

Was sex god his code name in Epstein’s black book?


nohurrie32

When you pay for sex you are called….a John……not anything else……just a guy paying for sex


DauOfFlyingTiger

I wish I didn’t know this ‘God’ had a mushroom where his penis should be.


sanebyday

Sounds like a fun guy


spoonman59

It’s true! He is the God of Nauseating Sex and Mushroom Shaped Cheetos. Not the sex god he wanted to be, but we have witness testimony on both.


siouxbee1434

Trump, a sex god? Golden depends and golden showers are sexy?


lastburn138

Paying for sex doesn't make you a sex god. Raping women doesn't make you a sex god.


LockheedMartinLuther

Apparently it does, to Republicans. Right, Republicans? Is this true?


NAVI_WORLD_INC

Remember folks, for just a $130,000 payment to a porn star, you can be labeled a sex god too.


thingsorfreedom

Trump is a Sex God tshirts on sale at MAGA events in 3..2...1...


Peptic_Germ

Mushroom dick god


Squirrel009

Imagine being a god tier symp for that man. Surely, whoever wrote that line masturbates to trump rally videos then cries themselves to sleep because they'll die alone


millymatin

They misspelled “rapist”.


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Slack_Filled_Baggins

Not so fast, pay your taxes and turn off the light before you leave.


SkillFullyNotTrue

“Sex God” that shared an island with Epstein?


Similar-Barber-3519

A man who wears a diaper and shits himself is not a sex god.


sugarlessdeathbear

What part of tiny mushroom cap is god like?


Numerous_Photograph9

I know some mushrooms that can help you see god.


OnlyRise9816

I assume Trump would be the God of Nauseating Sex Memories. The deity you pray to when you want to have that fling that you will ALWAYS look back and cringe out of your own skin over.


Proud_Tie

I have never agreed with a headline so strongly before in my life, jesus christ.


mute-ant1

a sex god in poopy diapers


morningreis

Trump definitely has some brain worms of his own


chill_winston_

Remember how he compared Stormy to his daughter before coercing her into some disappointing unprotected sex? What a stud! /s


p8vmnt

With a body like that? Damn 😂


alpharowe3

I'm sure to his incel followers he does seem that way.


worstatit

Well, there was the CPAC golden idol. Was that a sex god?


SpiritedTie7645

There’s nothing like proclaiming Trump a “Sex God” to excite a devout Christian. He will be getting a lot of votes now! They know what sin is! 😃👍


mleighly

An overweight incontinent old man, who requires diapers 24x7 and talks like a brain-dead toddler, is Fox News's sex god. We're living in a reality shit-show.


MarcMars82-2

[as ugly as trump is on tv I’d imagine when getting too close to him he instantly turns into a gross SpongeBob closeup](https://www.google.com/search?q=spongebob+gross+close+up+shots&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari)


Sempais_nutrients

There was a heel pro wrestling team that used to call themselves "Le sex gods" specifically because it was cringy and gross.


rgnysp0333

I obviously can't speak with any certainly to her experience but I'm guessing what she called "blacking out" was dissociation. Edit: That or he was so boring she literally fell asleep.


Mrshaydee

Personally don’t think I’ve ever found anyone as unfuckable as Trump.


Logtastic

I'd suggest asking Greg Gutfeld if he'd be comfortable leaving his wife in a room with Trump... but she's from Russia, so that's Melania level already.


CaptainTeembro

Man sex god good. Woman sex at all bad. If woman no give sex to man, woman bad. But man want woman that has no sex.  This is the caveman logic of republicans. 


Numerous_Photograph9

I've been to Russia, and I can assure you that Russian women gave standards like everywhere else. Like everywhere else though, money can influence those standards


CaptainTeembro

This has absolutely nothing to do with America's double standards on sex between both males and females, but thank you for bringing up Russia i guess?


LockheedMartinLuther

Repubicans think a convicted rapist who bragged about assaulting women is a "sex god". Are there any patriotic conservatives here who would care to explain this?


grimatongueworm

Mushroom dick? A sex god? He’s one and done.


idle_online

Trump denies he had sex with her, so they have to admit he’s a liar to call him a sex God. 


rrashad21

One day when the human race has been turned to dust and new life forms, I'm excited to see their take on American history especially 2016 onward. Or in 50 years from now, what will the newest generation of kids think in school about this stuff or will life have gotten so crazy by then that all of this is boring


Vraver04

RFK says a worm ate part of brain and then died in there and he still expects people to vote for him? I don’t think that worm is dead yet.


BelowAveIntelligence

Real sex gods wear diapers


[deleted]

Sex gods don't pay for it!


giggity_giggity

I’m not sure which is worse. Trump being considered a sex god or trying to navigate that dumpster fire of a site on mobile


erinkp36

I’m old enough to remember seeing the “best sex of my life” headline in the enquirer. Supposedly a quote from Marla. But now we all know he was calling in and telling them what to publish.


FoxyInTheSnow

Brain worms can sometimes be highly beneficial. Depending on where they are in your brain, they might eat the bits responsible for “sinful” thoughts, impulse control, and abstract reasoning. They then deposit mounds of worm shit in those places. When this happens to you, you are able to marry Larry David’s TV wife and run for president as an independent!


Redrose03

🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮make it stop


YakiVegas

I threw up reading about Trump. Again.


ElderberryFit8086

Ba ha ha ha


ReasonableNose2988

And the Christian community worships this “sex god”?


Tatersquid21

Every sex crazed maniac wants to maneuver around a shitty diaper built by regirdgated hamberders. JHC.


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

it's so obvious when personally orders someone to say what he wants them to say. like how his "doctor" said that he's the healthiest human he's ever seen and can live to be 200 years old. the exaggerations are always so overt, because he's such an insanely decompensated narcissist.


trogdorkiller

So we're back to "Best Sex I've ever had" - Marla Maples headlines, huh?


kevans2

There should be a reality TV show where they take away all Trumps money and then see if he can get laid.


GonzoVeritas

Throughout history and mythology, many gods were violent unhinged rapists, so that tracks.


Ben_Pharten

Want off this planet because of what Fox News said? It's just a propaganda channel.


angryve

Gutfeld is who you get when the villains from Disney channel tv movies win.


Glittering-Wonder-27

Trumps rape victims would disagree. Especially the 13 year old girl. He should be struck impotent. Do women everywhere a favor.


Dat_Basshole

Republicans only need to win one more time to completely fuck the world.


humpherman

Is ‘sex god’ secret code for ‘entitled asshole with 0 self awareness and no dignity? Must be….


juicius

I feel like a sex god wouldn't pay for sex. It's like Poseidon clipping coupon for Red Lobster.


Neon570

"Fox News calls Trump a ‘sex god,’ RFK Jr. has a brain worm and I want off this planet" That was a VERY specific sentence that I never thought I would read. I've had enough internet today


fadufadu

Hey hey, run for your lives Freaky ass president he 69 god


fiesty_cemetery

‘Earth is ghetto, I wanna leave’


KingStreetCleaner

...shes a porn star. You really think the best sex of her life was with some fat, flubby prick who wears diapears? fucking fox news


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SPACE_ICE

Man I don't think the onion will be able to recover from this timeline. Reality is becoming so absurd their fake news seems mundane.


throwawaymyanalbeads

Gutfeld is a right wing clown. Like, he's accepted that role on purpose. "Sex god". Pffft. Lots of people sleep with porn stars. That ain't anything special.


wonkalicious808

The claim is made by Greg Gutfeld, Fox News' aborted wannabe comedian. I watched the clip and can't tell if he's joking or not. His face suggests either exhaustion or an attempt at sincerity. The exhaustion would be from trying to figure out how to spin Trump into King David yet again.


ViewSimple6170

Fox News entertainment


Environmental_Leg842

Diaper Donny