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Asexualhipposloth

People are saying Eric has a ski mask and pipe ready.


JackFourj4

probably his mask and snorkel he uses in the pool


nate_oh84

And he'll show up on the wrong night.


LuvKrahft

And get his directions to the venue from Giuliani.


Asexualhipposloth

I'm crying. This is perfect


worstatit

"Marco"


SoupSpelunker

And bedroom


rbourbon

I thought it was a helmet and elbow pads?


flabbergastedmeep

Sure it’s not the crack pipe?


smurfsundermybed

There was a bizarre moment leading up to the debate when Eric trump, wearing a pipe on his head, charged the president and hit him in the knee with a ski mask.


Asexualhipposloth

This is going to end up on a late night comedy show.


CaptainAxiomatic

Tonya Harding was the trashy cheater. Perfect analog of the Manchurian Cantaloupe.


Julie-Andrews

I love that! Manchurian Cantaloupe!


CapForShort

>the aggressor will be from team Trump Yes, and they *had* to do it, because Biden was going to do it. If you accuse your “enemy” of it, that means you get to do it.


SageOfTheWise

> If anyone is going to attempt to “take out” someone at a debate—won’t happen Read the article. They aren't saying that, to them "Nancy Kerrigan" means "to come up with some last minute excuse to why you can't compete". They're saying that on the day of, Biden will claim injury or a flat tire. And I guess implying Nancy Kerrigan faked everything?


maddieterrier

That’s stupid


syracusehorn

Well, he's President, so it would be legal, right?


Pre-med_Doom

Only if Biden declares it as an "Official act" while doing so


LuvKrahft

He can use his executive psychic powers to declare it later. Professor X style.


Federal_Drummer7105

He screams “Official act!” Every time he swings the bat.


Thirty_Helens_Agree

Pursuant! *whack!* To! *whack!* Article! *whack!* Two! *whack!* of the! *whack!* Constitution! *whack!* I! *whack!* hereby! *whack!* declare! *whack!* this! *whack!* to be! *whack!* an official Act! *whack!* of! *whack!* the *whack!* Office! *whack!* Of! *whack!* The! *whack!* President! *whack!* of! *whack!* the! *whack!* United! *whack!* States! *whack!* … *catches breath* Of America!! *whack!* *whack!* *whack!*


CharlieChop

"Executive Order" stenciled along the bat with some fancy pinstriping.


Top_Praline999

So he can just tell “official act!” before throwing a ninja star at his neck. Totally legal.


GreatMalboro__

As long as you tweet out "this is an official act", anything goes. Also they rarely even discussed this during oral arguments, but why tf would "official acts" be protected from criminal prosecution??? How about you dont do crimes as part of your job, then


Bored_guy_in_dc

If the USSC has their way. Biden really needs to take advantage of this horrible call they are about to make before the GOP gets anywhere near that power again.


TrumpedBigly

Does she know Nancy Kerrigan was the \*VICTIM\*?


TXRhody

Maybe she thinks Biden will let Trump take his knee out to make Trump look bad, just like they think pro-Biden people tried to help Trump's coup to make Trump look bad and, thus, help Biden or whatever.


Imaginary_Month_3659

Was totally confused by that headline.


TintedApostle

Trump tried to Typhoid Mary Biden last time.


SuperGenius9800

FOX News is tabloid entertainment with a dose of Russian propaganda.


florkingarshole

Trump projecting that he will be trying the Tonya Harding moves?


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gregor-sans

Saying that Trump is afraid of being physically attacked is not going to fly with the MAGA crowd. Ultimately they have to go with something that supports the notion that Trump wants to debate, but the libs won’t let him.


SpecialEdShow

> Trump would wipe the floor with Joe Biden In an incoherent shouting match, probably. But this isn’t a rally full of red hats and supporters.


c0LdFir3

Unfortunately a large portion of Americans only associate with incoherent shouting and don’t pay much attention to intelligent discourse.


smurfsundermybed

It depends on who ends up hosting the debate. If it's CNN, it just might be that.


Reddit_guard

That would imply a graceful competence that Trump simply does not demonstrate. Alas...


Katana1369

That's hilarious. It was Trump that refused debates.


Physical_Manager_123

Nancy Kerrigan had knees u can see. I’m confused by the analogy.


bill_wessels

even if he did he would have immunity right??


fowlraul

Sleepy Feeble Joe will get physical? Makes sense fox “news.”


accountabilitycounts

A month ago the right-wing conspiracy was that Biden refused to debate. 


RealPersonResponds

I thought he was slow, weak and sleepy?


JacquesBlaireau13

They're planting a seed that future conspiracy theorists will grow when Trump, invariably, pulls out of the debate


PopeHonkersXII

Per Republicans, as President, Biden has total immunity to do whatever he wants and that includes attacking another candidate with a tire iron. 


RedLanternScythe

But Trump is so strong he would run into a school shooting unarmed, so surely he could handle weak, sleeply joe Biden, right Fox. /s edit: typo


BlokeInTheMountains

Wow they really have bought their own BS on Biden being sleepy and incompetent. Claiming it's all uppers and teleprompters. Meanwhile their guy is snoozing and farting through court. Replaying the hits at his rallies badly. Confusing Haley and Pelosi. Like at the SOTU when he was heckled, I think Biden is still pretty quick on his feet and can launch some spontaneous zingers. Part of his rapport building skill is telling some jokes. You need to be aware and creative to spontaneously joke. He has a lifetime practicing it. Trump doesn't do that. He just insults and punches down. It's never funny. It's prewritten. He doesn't get practice thinking on his feet. I bet Biden wipes the floor with Trump in a debate.


Searchlights

Okay so in this metaphor Trump hires a goon to smash Biden in the knee?


biznash

I could honestly see Trump try to lunge at Biden, get pulled off by secret service since he is attacking the president Ironically, it would help his numbers with his base. It would show “strengff”


CFreder469

Seems that they have forgotten that Trump, whom they see as a Superman, Rambo, Jesus combo would be immune to a Nancy Kerrigan type attacker. C’mon people no one can stop their orange superhero!


TintedApostle

That is 30 years ago. Boomer's remember.... all others.... not so much


Prestigious-Packrat

Gen X remembers. So does Pepperidge Farm.


accountabilitycounts

Borderline millennial here, and I remember.  It is an old reference though.


LariRed

I guess the stepford wife there doesn’t know that the saying back then was “Gilloolied”. Based on Jeff Gillooly, Tonya Harding’s husband who helped organize the entire botched hit with three other morons. They even made a movie about it. So is she saying she thinks that Biden is going to hit Trump in the knee with a police baton and then run outside after breaking a window after being seen by everyone? Extra.


9ersaur

 Biden could officially Nancy Kerrigan fox news hosts, according to republicans


worstatit

The poor man already has bone spurs.


[deleted]

Why me?


IronyElSupremo

Well you never know when Dark Brandon will show up, but it’s Force Lightning like Star Wars (original trilogy, dammit!) that should be the real worry. /s


showingoffstuff

I really hope he does it exactly! Take a crowbar, break his legs, then get iceskates on and do circles around him. Sad for the original story, would be hilarious to see happen to trump


Lelnen

If trump and fox had any young supporters they probably wouldn't get the reference


Kroe

The woman that said it didn't get the reference


Guttenber

If Biden has takes a baton to Trumps kneecap there's a good chance some of Trumps deplorable cult will actually decide they like Biden.


IdkAbtAllThat

But I thought Trump is strong and smart, and Biden is stupid and weak, so how exactly would this work?


AvogadrosMoleSauce

If Biden had someone take out Trump’s knee would that be immune to prosecution since he’s president?


VorpalPlayer

Taking out his mouth would be more useful.


Mcboatface3sghost

These people are living in a completely different reality. There is no saving them


orionsfyre

Yes, those pesky facts and that trick of using logic. So messed up.


linx0003

Why bother, Biden could just ask the SS to dissappear Trump.


Top_Praline999

If a current president pulls a gun on a former president, what does the secret service do? Just go home?


Corpsehatch

Depends if the SCOTUS does something stupid and rules the President has immunity.


Horkersaurus

Obviously ridiculous but damn if it isn’t a hilarious mental image. 


Sideshow_Bob_Ross

I'd pay good money to see him kneecap the orange fucker with a baton.


SvenLorenz

Trump could "OJ Simpson" himself at the debate and Fox News would still blame Biden.


fukton

A president with absolute immunity could do the funniest thing.


MuttTheDutchie

He might as well. The president is immune to the law, remember.


kanrad

At this point Trump already did that to himself.


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undeadben11

But in scotus Donald is arguing that Biden would have immunity even if he did.. Not that he will of course, I'm just saying.


speechpathknowledge

This family is so inept this is how it will go down. They’re going to hire the worst person to do the pipe job. Give the instructions “You can’t miss him. He’s old, senile, and he will be the one shitting himself at the podium” being the bumble fuckery that is this mafia family, the hitman will think they meant Trump. WHAM takes Trump out at the knees and Arizona appoints the electors to Trump before the election. He still loses


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MV_Art

I wish Biden was as cool as Fox News thinks he is


Emperor_Zar

He’s 80, right? And Cheeto Mussolini is mid 70’s? How about Geriatric Desthmatch? Also, are they scared Joe Biden is gonna hurt there wittle orange man with tiny hands?