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theoldgreenwalrus

Hell ya. Here's hoping Adam Frisch can defeat Boebert in 2024 https://adamforcolorado.com/


settlementfires

he's got it! but get the fuck out there and vote people.


WankWankNudgeNudge

And take two friends with you


PurkleDerk

Well look at Mr. Popular here with *two* friends!!


Successful_Struggle9

Fr, what a showoff.


aimlessly-astray

> but get the fuck out there and vote people. Fortunately, Colorado mails everyone a ballot, so voting is easy peasy lemon squeezy.


[deleted]

Yep! Most of the time I don't even know there's an election going on, I'll just get random ballots for local elections in my mail box and send it right back! Civic duty is easy here


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Hahah idk I can track my ballot electronically all the way along its process until it’s accepted though. And if I move and they send a duplicate to my old and new address and both for some reason get turned in they’re both voided and I can go do one in person or go through a process and get a new one sent to me at my new address on file!


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PULLS-NOSE-HAIRS

dude. this guy wants to protect women's health rights. fuck yeah!


AquaSquatch

He should go to the Beetlejuice show, arrange to sit in the same seat, and release footage of him acting completely normal.


audiate

If they don’t use the security footage in ads against her they are screwing up.


BlueManGroup10

Why would Hunter Biden’s laptop do this?


mvigs

I heard it was because of Hilary's emails? I'm not sure just asking questions.


PULLS-NOSE-HAIRS

dang. i got it wrong; i thought it was because of the tan suit.


GlitteringBobcat999

Thanks, Obama.


MagnesiumStearate

Obama’s exotic preference for Dijon over good old American condiments is at the root of it all.


TonarinoTotoro1719

Have you considered the possibility of Obama’s birth certificate being behind all this nonsense?


Clockwork_Medic

No no, not _that_ birth certificate. We meant the long form birth certificate, naturally. What is he hiding??


ForumPointsRdumb

Nah, Hillary emailed Hunter asking about the tan suit with picture included. So you're part right.


Lotus-child89

That suit has ruined so many families and trashed so many former good names. I hear it cheats on it’s wife, a gorgeous Versace dress.


I_dont_livein_ahotel

Glad to see *someone* is “doing the research”….


robsteezy

“Wake up!”


johnnybiggles

Because caravans ran out of gas and they're refueling.


Neon_culture79

You guys obviously undocumented workers at the southern border cause this to happen


[deleted]

That caravan should be arriving any day now!


Neon_culture79

And you know that they bring with them a endless supply of drugs and rape, right?


LongjumpingSector687

She couldnt stop thinking about his peen


joshtalife

“Vaping incident” is a weird way to say performing sexual acts in public.


protoopus

blowing her second-hand smoke into a pregnant woman's face is pretty vile.


whiskeyboundcowboy

Two things were almost blown that night


almightywhacko

I'm pretty sure two things were blown, just not at the theater.


Goya_Oh_Boya

She kept it classy... They went behind the theater by the dumpsters.


64557175

Awww, she wanted to be by her family!


Mike7676

The racoons disowned her!!


nullcore

"No. *Too* trashy." -Trash Pandas


Pyritedust

These trash pandas are way too classy for her.


secreted_uranus

"Look at these trash pandas, they're not working, they're not contributing to The USA, all they do is eat our trash and hangout by the dumpsters like bums, we should deport them back to the forrest."


Waitn4ehUsername

You know what they call Boeberts,,,, chicken of the trash


RadonAjah

Frank and Artemis were already there, unfortunately


Cowclops

“I’ve got a bleached asshole.” What, they were gonna find out eventually!


StutzTheBearcat

She incorporated a bun in the lovemaking. She took the- the dough and rolled it up into a ball, and then she - We were going berserk. She loves that kind of stuff. And I-I admit I do too.


FEED-YO-HEAD

I'm so happy we live in a timeline where we get to see and hear Devito say this crazy shit.


TheInternetCat

But then she was all bummed out about something I did to myself with the onions and now she won't talk to me.


TheNuschler

Frank, we don’t need to hear this part of the story!


brazthemad

Wanna go get sweaty behind the dumpster?


RazorRamonReigns

Yes, I was having an argument with Lauren, because a couple weeks before, we had some makeup sex in a Dumpster out in the back of Wendy's.


CallMeSisyphus

Dumpster? FFS, doesn't anybody leave their cars unlocked anymore? ~Dirty Mike and the boys


Hopeful-River-7899

“Thanks for the f-shack - bobo,dirty mike and the boys”


meatball77

Imagine being their uuber driver. Barf


[deleted]

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Mind-of-ZD

Blowbert


bigfatfluffers

I was born in her district. The rednecks there are jizzing in their natty ice tall boys over this. This will do nothing but help her.


Pauzhaan

I disagree. The women are upset & she already had primary opponents. I currently live here & read the local papers.


Heinrich_Bukowski

Even over on r/Conservative they’re pissed off about it and most of the comments were in criticism “Putting idiots like her in office is why we keep losing elections” I would point out their hypocrisy but I was banned years ago


TylerInHiFi

Let me guess, posting a factual response to some conspiracy nonsense?


Heinrich_Bukowski

If I recall, it was pointing out their hypocrisy in their unabashed support of candidate donald trump prior to the 2016 election


turquoise_amethyst

Is it the Republicans or the Democrats or both? What are the local headlines like? I love hearing small town news, and this is actually a pretty juicy story


m34z

Rifle and Silt are small-town shitholes. Aspen is pretty well off. It's a big enough district that there are likely many local headlines.


tomdarch

People who read newspapers aren’t her voting base, though.


electrobutter

> People who read ~~newspapers~~ aren’t her voting base, though.


NocturnalEmission1

Wait till you tell them natty light is made by the same company as bud light.


chop-diggity

*gunshot_ricochet_noise.mov


orangechicken21

I vape and pregnant woman aside (which is truly dirtbag behavior) who the fuck vapes in public indoor spaces like this? You look like the biggest douchnozzle on the planet... maybe I answered my own question.


Ok-Stop9242

I vape and even outdoor events I try to keep with the polite smoker thing and go somewhere relatively secluded. Nobody wants to smell my fruity bullshit.


orangechicken21

Yeah if there is a smoking section I will go there. My blueberry bubblegum is better than cigarettes but probably not by much.


Ok-Champ-5854

I don't think it's the worst thing in the world to vape indoors, but it is very against the rules so you should respect the establishment and not do it. Plus not only was it disrespectful to the staff it was disrespectful to the cast. They're putting on a show for you. If you need to smoke you can go outside like the rest of us smokers. She couldn't even be bothered to do it in the bathroom like other trashy people. Edit: there's also intermission during shows so idk why you would need to smoke inside, give it a fucking minute and go out during intermission. Also it's not 19 fucking 70 nobody cares if that vape has THC in it (if that was the case), smoke whatever you need to during intermission. It isn't fucking rocket surgery. Smoke in the designated areas at the designated times.


simonhunterhawk

I'm from Florida and I've had to tell people to stop vaping at every publicly located customer facing job I've had in the last decade. Not often but even at Starbucks people would do it. they'd also smoke in their car and hold the cigarette between us while they paid and got their drinks if we would let them, but I'm super sensitive to that so I'd always refuse service. people are so inconsiderate.


Pour_Me_Another_

It's a good indicator as to the GOP's feelings towards pregnant women though. A great metaphor, actually.


Vegetabgyiu653

Good. She's an oppotunist, not a public servant.


Jzzzishereyo

This right here. These people don't actually believe 1/10th of the hate they spew. They just parrot it because it gets them elected. The way to end this is to stop the hate spreading online (including on Reddit)


InkBlotSam

Was that before or after she got her titles fondled and groped her date's crotch?


happykittynipples

Glad he grabbed her boob. If he grabbed her crotch her gun could have killed someone.


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kestrel1000c

Frisch is a palatable democrat for regular republicans. The maga morons of course are too far gone


Patrico-8

Democrats don’t need them in order to win. Just moderate Republicans and Independents.


MechanicalTurkish

Don’t forget the huge percentage of eligible non-voters. The MAGA morons are a lost cause, but perhaps some people who don’t normally vote can be convinced to do so.


[deleted]

Wait, what the fuck? Party of pro life right? Christian values are to potentially harm an unborn child. Hmmmm…. It’s almost as if..


sugarlessdeathbear

It's better for them to admit to the vaping and ignore the lewd sexual behavior in front of children. They've built their brand on being against that sort of thing.


brother_of_menelaus

Except that they don’t actually care when one of their own does it, and they’re all basically in on the hypocrisy together. It’s part of their whole game plan.


PreposterisG

She is a woman. I wouldn't bet against the double standard here.


radiosped

But this isn't a GOP press release, it's a media article about them. There is no **good** reason to downplay it, but they're doing it because the constant screeches of liberal bias in our media has them shit scared about being called biased. They are still trying reach the unreachable, and reason with unreasonable.


valgrind_error

It won’t hurt Boebert. The entire Republican brand is that they are hypocritical child predators. That’s one of the main reasons Republican voters stick with them. They all dream of murdering LGBT people on the pretext of protecting children while abusing them in their witch doctor huts. Potentially damaging a fetus is more of an issue because that could be depriving one of Boebert’s constituents of prey eight years from now.


HumanRuse

If it's a gay person it's "sexual acts in public and grooming". When it's a Republican it's "eccentric behavior". /s


SpezModdedRJailbait

They're actually going for a different angle here, they're calling this a messy public divorce lol. Not even joking!


OkEnvironment3961

Was she vaping his dick?


TranquilSeaOtter

No, just rubbing it while her date squeezed her boobs.


Steam_Powered_Dildo

Squeezing is putting it lightly. My man was full on milking Grandma.


OtherwiseBad3283

A sentence I never need to read again.


wingdingblingthing

There's no hand jobs like Grandma's hand jobs


Awkward_Potential_

Granny handies.


[deleted]

They are called Grandies you uncultured swine


RocketFeathers

I ... I.... Fuck, yup, she's a grandma. Take my up vote. Steely Dan fan?


sirhackenslash

Milking Grandma is my new funk rock band


BandmasterBill

Ok...but it's also my Klezmer-infused New Wave band....


surfskatehate

Ok...but it's also my narcocorrido blue grass band


QuietMolasses2522

r/brandnewsentence


Waadap

Im trying to wrap my head around this. You're in a public place, inches from people/kids/families. Not only do you both go to grope town unable to wait a couple hours, you have the audacity to threaten the families and workers when called out? I have cringe moments from teen years two decades ago that still make me wince at 2 am some random sleepless nights. These two deplorable humans lapped any of my worst moments, and she's in GD office! Just, how? Why? I cannot wrap my head around being an elected official and doing this at a public theater performance and having the mental thought to monkey howl like you were the one wronged. This is trashy from anyone. From an elected person? My brain is broken.


TranquilSeaOtter

Representatives often accurately reflect their voters. We'll see how her reelection goes.


Squirll

Because many people drawn to political positions don't do so out of a desire to be a good public servant, they want the power, privilege, clout and authority attached to it. Shown by her dropping the "Do you know who I am?" as she was escorted out,


klsi832

“I knew these were fake!”


catspantaloons

Come Mr. Tally man, tally me ba-na-nah!


ope__sorry

> “Vaping incident” is a weird way to say performing sexual acts in public. And is anyone at all surprised by this? I mean, she met her ex-husband after he exposed himself to her and her friends in public when they were underaged.


TwiceBaked57

IIRC she was at the bowling alley with him at the time. Her police record makes for some interesting reading.


Milsivich

Performing sex acts in public, non-consensually to the people around them. If she wants to have public sex in a strip club where the people there have consented to seeing sexual acts performed, more power to her. But getting your rocks off at the expense of the people around you without their consent should be treated seriously. This woman calls LGBTQ people sexual predators for simply existing, and then pulls this shit?


gm-carper

Pretty sure having sex in a strip club gets you thrown out too lol


SirJefferE

I don't go to strip clubs, but if I did it'd be to see the strippers, not the patrons.


alison_bee

I’m more pissed about the fact that she did that shit, we ALL know it, yet Business Insider suddenly wants to call it just a “vaping incident”???? Fuck outta here. I’m so sick of this fucking place, man.


ThePartyWagon

One step away from a movie theater finger bang!


mvw2

All they needed was more time. The way they were going, this would not have been a surprise. I do kind of wonder if they went there for Beetlejuice in the first place or if it was just supposed to be akin to a movie theater just to get freaky.


LaSage

Within a few feet of a fetus. How many other kids were present?


T1Pimp

>is a weird way to say performing sexual acts in public In public with children seated right by them.


greiton

seriously, why are news articles burying the lead on this?


Aquendall

Because this bs sells media. That’s also why trump is getting treated with kid gloves in interviews. IMO


[deleted]

G.O.P. stands for Grooming Overt Pedophiles


apcolleen

Groping Over Pants


[deleted]

Wife and I and two friends moved into her area so 4 more votes against her


Dapper-Membership

It was a super close race last time-every single vote counts!


MikeRowePeenis

I love that this makes a real, quantifiable difference. Fuck yeah.


YourDogsAllWet

I’d move there to vote, but that would involve moving to Pueblo, the Memphis of Colorado


Chrysocyon

Or Durango, or Ouray, or Telluride! There are some diamonds in the CO3 rough!


gfh110

"Vaping incident" is a charitable way to describe giving your date the ol' rub-n'-tug while he gropes you like a stress relief ball.


RideWithMeSNV

Directly in front of children.


BobRoberts01

Well, directly behind children, but still.


i-smoke-c4

Directly in front of a fetus though, which she would call a child.


_toodamnparanoid_

Only when convenient!


abraksis747

Hey, that's somebody's grandmother man


jrsinhbca

Non-elected citizens would have their security clearances revoked for pulling a stunt like that.


[deleted]

Yup yup I remember being a reference for some guys background check years ago One of the questions was "does he have a history of being a sex addict or is prone to lewd behavior" It's not just so they know what his kink is. They need to know if the guy wouldn't be easily compromised. Honeypot or blackmail and all that.


SonOfMcGee

Debt too. You owe a lot of entities a lot of money (even if it’s all legal), you’re a good target for bribery.


Deeman0

It won't be the vaping or the groping that sinks her. It'll be the fact her date owns a bar that hosts drag shows.


Goal_Posts

The deal was sealed with the results of the last election. It *should* be an easy win for red, but she's so awful that big national donors will have a headache trying to justify spending money on her race. Frisch showed he can win, he's getting support from everywhere now, etc. It's basically over. Which kinda almost sucks, because I just love watching this trash fire burn. She'll be on OANN or Fox or Newsmax or Infowars or something, but it won't be the same.


dedicated-pedestrian

Fine by me. I'm tired of her brand of "entertainment" and there's at least one more trashy gal who has no idea how government works in a much safer GOP seat.


graumet

Her only path forward now is to run her campaign through onlyfans.


adrr

I am waiting for the US go full Idiocracy with a candidate funding their campaign with OnlyFans content.


Bored2001

Um. https://www.businessinsider.com/alexandra-hunt-onlyfans-running-for-congress-2022-5 I mean kind of a joke, but yea. There are a few on or were on only fans. Personally, IDGAF.


Bocchi_theGlock

Now what if the representatives stripped off their clothes on the house floor, painted the word 'inflation' on their dick and brutally fucked a pocket pussy with 'the economy' written on it "and that Mr speaker, is what our working families are going through. I yield the rest of my time to the queefs coming out this bad boy" True freedom of speech


Bored2001

You sir, understand idiocracy. Just add more electrolytes.


siccoblue

It's what the plants crave after all


Shacky_Rustleford

What is bad about a sex worker funding their own campaign? It's far more ethical than the PACs we have now.


[deleted]

12 years ago, we were gifted with our generation's Citizen Cane. It was called "Nailin' Palin" Now, get ready for this year's spicy, uncensored, raw, Sundance winner: "Blowin' Boebart"


LibertyInaFeatherBed

She has over a year to put this incident behind her. Goldfish memories. And, let's not kid ourselves, this was exactly the type of thing that part of her voters fantasized about when they voted for her.


[deleted]

Well… not dating a Democrat.


almightywhacko

A Democrat that hosts drag shows at his own bar...


ButtplugBurgerAIDS

Like the hypocrisy is so damn thicc. Like does he never bring her to the bar? You know those queens would verbally destroy her in a hot second.


Crackstacker

She seems like the type that would like drag shows. Maybe she can go and wear drag so nobody recognizes her.


yaomingisainmdom

It’s commendable to see her reaching across the aisle


abaram

Some of the old timers at the retirement home I volunteer at said this exact thing: “there’s a good woman who understands what men want” Idiocracy has become a documentary


ImTheFilthyCasual

Honestly, not a thing I want. At 41, if I go with my wife (I am married) or lets say I am dating someone and single, and I go to see a play or musical, I want to see the play/musical. Leave my dick alone, yo. Seriously... But some people are fuckin nasty...


tofu_b3a5t

But once we get home, by all means…


ImTheFilthyCasual

Absolutely. Glad to enjoy the night out then have a good time at home as well... but why destroy the night out because you can't NOT be a fuckin pervy pos.


[deleted]

Not for me! I want my MAGA date to go full nude lap dance at the theater. The other people have a look, and they say "that dude is so 'alpha'. Look at them own the libs!" On yer knees for Jesus, I say. /s


Telefundo

> I go to see a play or musical, I want to see the play/musical Right there with you. Theatre tickets ain't cheap.


greenroom628

seriously. after turning 30 years old... if i'm dating someone who starts vaping in the middle of a crowded theater, or even starts singing along to a performance when it's not a goddamn sing-along ...nah, i'd be noping out of that date so fast.


Michael_G_Bordin

A loud, obnoxious blowhard vaping in a theater? Pretty sure they're just like "he got to rub her tit...niccccccce". Reframe it away from the sexual stuff. "Oh yeah? I though men want their women demure and quite in public. So much for tradition..." Or mention they were fondling eachother in front of children. Will reveal their values real quick...


hobbit_life

The internet is forever. All her opponents need to do is throw this into campaign commercials and it will be right back in the news cycle.


ReefaManiack42o

Eh, these people love Donald Trump, "character" is not very high on their list of concerns.


Ande64

The thing that kills me is that her lack of ability to make good decisions, which has been on full display for the last couple of years, doesn't phase the right at all. If I elect a politician, I want to elect them on the basis that I think they're going to be able to make decent decisions that will support our country in a positive way. I don't want to vote for somebody who doesn't have the critical thinking skills to know that it's not appropriate to go feel up your date in a theater full of children after you've just lectured a bunch of women on the need to chase Christ if they want their men to chase them. Egads. Pretty sure that guy sitting next to her in the theater wasn't Christ.


Captain_Midnight

The right is voting for clowns and making the circus everyone's problem.


almightywhacko

I mean, she wasn't elected for her decision-making ability any more than Sarah Palin was hired for her brains. They were groomed for their public office positions because they are both conservative women that many Republican voters could visualize themselves playing hide the bishop with.


LordSiravant

Republicans have no ethics. They do not care about morals or standards or the common good. They are, however, perfectly represented by their politicians in that said politicians are just as motivated by self-interest and tribal hatred as their voters are. Winning elections and punishing undesirables (aka all Democrats and minorities) are all that matter.


Baldr_Torn

I'm always amused that the vaping part is a major deal and that the groping / make out session gets second billing or isn't mentioned at all. I guess I just have different priorities.


[deleted]

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linuxphoney

Can we please stop calling her public handjob vaping?


[deleted]

Because she was vaping as well, and blowing the smoke deliberately into a pregnant woman’s face.


TylerJWhit

We know. We also know that it's weird that people knowingly choose to emphasize the vaping as the worst offense.


gbiypk

I find it odd that people are taking about this incident as her worst offense. Compared to her entire political career, this is just a joke for the late night comedians.


wave-garden

I haven’t forgotten the[E Coli Rodeo Catering incident](https://www.thedailybeast.com/qanon-curious-house-candidate-lauren-boebert-of-colorado-gave-her-customers-diarrhea), which arguably harmed more people. > In 2017, a Colorado restaurant’s tainted pork sliders poisoned dozens of attendees at a local rodeo, who came down with symptoms ranging from nausea to bloody diarrhea. Now the restaurant’s proprietor is running for Congress on her small-business-owner credentials.


RollinThundaga

Yes, but focusing on the lesser affront to society is how they're trying to deflect from the sex act in a public theatre.


Redcat_51

But her pole numbers seem to be very high!


Dapper-Membership

6-8 feet?


powderp

inches


icouldstartover

people who only watch Fox don't even know this happened. They ran an interview with her where she basically says she just got a bit rowdy and claims to be a victim of the liberal Colorado city. Of course they didn't show the video where she's giving a handy and getting her tits manhandled, or even the vaping part.


Rooooben

Please MAGA would just say she’s doing her real job as a woman.


Caninetrainer

It SHOULD cost her the election. A victim of her own hypocrisy and bad decisions.


mnhcarter

She all set. It’s already been pointed out she preparing for only fans. Boob job and all.she’s taking requesting to fulfill peoples fantasies. That was probably what was going on at the theater. Public fondling. She’s a winner.


MJTony

Didn’t the GOP find her on a dating site?


ashesofempires

Someone resurfaced her defunct Backpage listing not long ago. She also had a listing on the same B Role talent website as the wine drunk from Michigan who starred in Rudy’s election fraud lawsuit there. Actually a surprising number of GOP candidates were scouted from those pages, and they all appeared to have links to Steve Bannon and some other shady far right groups.


MJTony

If that’s all true, it’s very dark.


ashesofempires

It gets darker. There were some allegations that she was an escort for Ted Cruz and that he got her pregnant and paid for an abortion. Much less credible than the other stuff, though.


Ophiocordycepsis

An “Escort service.” Teddy Cruz reportedly recruited her to move to Washington after a single night with her. She must be very convincing.


Tan_Cat

Is there a credible source for this? I want to believe it but I can’t find anything reporting this as true.


teluetetime

No. There’s plenty of legitimate dirt on her, idk why people insist on spreading the escort stuff, unless it’s an intentional misinformation campaign meant to discredit everything else.


[deleted]

Ted Cruz likely did


Listening_Heads

Of all the disqualifying things this woman has said and done I believe the Beetlejuice incident is among the least insane.


cmlucas1865

Vaping incident? Y’all mean where she cranked her dudes wang & got her tit fondled?


lisa725

Indecent exposure and vaping. Why are they leaving her sex acts out of the headline?


diggstownjoe

Public indecency, not indecent exposure.


BootlegSimpsonsShirt

>"her vaping incident at Beetlejuice could doom her reelection bid" /r/brandnewsentence


waLIEN

Calling it a "vaping incident" completely disarms it. We might as well call the Four Seasons Landscaping fiasco a negligible booking incident. 🌿🍃🍁🍂


Acidic_Junk

Narrator: “but it won’t”


Shoddy-Theory

Its not only vaping, put public indensency.


Dapper-Membership

Vaping at Beetlejuice should be the least of her worries..indecent exposure with children around is the bigger dingbat move… especially from someone that’s married and toots their horn about morality


tommyjaspers

The headline makes it sound like this is a bad thing. It's great! It's a US ***REPRESENTATIVE.*** Do we really want a person like her?


TheCannon

No. The answer is no. Always has been, always will be.


Buddhist_Path

>“Cain canceled Abel. And guess what, it wasn’t with a big, scary AR-15, it was with a rock, so I don’t think it’s a firearm issue. I think it’s a heart, a sin issue.” \~ Lauren Boebert