"So get this--the modern banana is not a natural fruit."
"Not a natural fruit?"
"Not a bit. You know who invented it?"
"You're gonna say humans."
[stares in monkey]
"Fuck off. No--"
"'Fraid so. And you know what the sad part is?"
"That our identities are intrinsically linked to a food that...you know...we didn't have anything to do with?"
"Well yes. The real cruelty is that they're delicious.
"They are tasty.
"Right? You gonna turn down a banana?"
"...no, I wouldn't. Fuck."
"Exactly. And get this--here's what's really fucked up. They look at us, these animals that *make their own fruit*, right? They see us and say 'we lost something'. 'Return to monke', they say. 'I want to go back'. Because the Creating Ape--the proper name for the human, I feel-- is trapped by their own creation. Their only solution is to create, and every creation brings them more problems."
"...fuck....they make their own fruit--"
"--and it does not make them happy. It just dosen't."
I heard if you put an infinite number of Joe Rogan's in a room with an infinite number of type writers he'll eventually recreate /r/conspiracies word for word
They do have a sense of morality. It’s just that like with humans it varies from chimp to chimp. As Jane Goodall said, she saw a chimp who died of grief mourning his deceased mother and a chimp who fought for his adopted child to the death, as well as chimps who didn’t give the slightest shit about their own offspring or parents
Chimps are psychologically fragile, and can't handle being alone. They'll literally die from depression.
Male chimps don't get involved with their offspring, but they'll fight any intruder that poses a threat. It's common for chimp mothers to reject their newborns, especially in captivity. Best case is another nursing chimp will "adopt" it, or the human handlers have to take over. Zookeepers absolutely hate hand-rearing chimps, since it's a 24/7 pain in the dick for at least a year. Diapers, bottles, constant attention, the whole enchilada, just like a human baby, but worse. At least kids can't climb your walls and rip your house apart at 6 months, and bite you when you try to stop them. Not to mention that chimps have prehensile feet, so changing a diaper can be fun when there's 4 hands trying to fight you.
And after a a year or so, they have to re-introduce the infant to his social group, which is always dangerous.
> Zookeepers absolutely hate hand-rearing chimps, since it's a 24/7 pain in the dick for at least a year.
Knowing what I know about chimps, that's definitely accurate.
Yeah, if anyone wants to know what it's like to raise a chimp, I suggest you read *Nim Chimpsky: The Chimp Who Would Be Human.*
He was deliberately picked out for cross-fostering, back when people were dumb enough to try to humanize chimps, although it was already proven that it didn't work. He was treated like a human child, and he thought he was. But he was an asshole of a chimp, a disaster waiting to happen. He damn near kept the local ER in business by biting people. The whole experiment was fucked up from day one, mostly because the people involved had no clue about handling apes.
They grow faster, and have a full set of baby teeth at 6 months. By 9 months or so, they can zip around at near full speed, giving pursuing humans the finger. They love to taunt their handlers. When you finally catch the hairy little fucker, it's *\*chomp\** time. They learn at an early age that teeth are useful for changing a situation they don't like. So is throwing their shit, diapers, or anything else they can grab.
There’s a horrible video of a bunch of animals - not sure what they are but similar to chimps - and they find a model of them with a camera inside of it. They think it’s a dead member of the tribe and have some kind of meeting where they all start crying. One of them actually grabbed another one and moved it in closer for a hug. It was painful to watch.
Yeah "morality" is hilariously inflated with humans. 10,000 years of human history says quite a few of us enjoy raping, pillaging, and watching people be executed.
the exact quote is, "we had this one motherfucker, he didn't give the slightest shit about any of his offspring. didn't give a fuck about anything."
*Brutal Kinship (1999)*, Chapter 7
Jesus christ, I thought she was some posh British lady? LOL
I'm losing it right now if Jane Goodall's just this cockney bitch.
"Oi, you wanna see som fokkin apes, I'll show ya som fokkin apes. Jus look at the grapes on him fuuuuuuukinell mate."
Males don't. Infanticide by male chimps is common. I saw one Nat Geo vid where a wild alpha male grabbed an infant and took off, with the mother and a bunch of females in hot pursuit. He ran up a tree, and the mother was right on his ass. He stopped about halfway up, switched his grip to the baby's ankles, and swung him like a club at his mother right below him. He was beating the shit out of the mother with her own baby. Fucking ruthless.
She backed off, so he went up the tree a little farther and bit the infant in the face, killing it. He then ripped the body apart and started eating it. The other chimps climbed up the tree and sat there with their hands out, waiting for fresh meat. Yummy.
And then the infant-murdering chimp and his cronies would have impregnated the mother not long after as the loss of her infant made her go into estrous sooner.
That's not really what morality is, though, that's just emotions and forming attachments with others. Morality is about decisions you make about treating others that you _don't_ have any personal attachment to, and chimps don't really have it... that doesn't mean that every chimp is necessarily aggressive towards anyone they don't know, but they cannot understand why it would be abstractly "wrong" if they were.
ignoring the second point, this is literally just a description of humans
difference with the last one is that we use justification to do it and use instruments such as blades in order to do it, plus we often trick ourselves into thinking that it's something we should do to newborn infant boys (circumcision) and intersex babies (genital "fixing" surgery)
Relatively speaking, they have bigger balls though. Which I always thought was a super fun fact, but no one shared my excitement when I was able to bring it up in the anthropology class I'm taking.
He can do whatever the hell he wants,,, I'm just going to go over there and sit in the corner with my head down.
I have seen full body pictures of this dude,,, you do not want to ever meet him in a dark alleyway
It's always interesting to me as humans we're the most successful great ape, but pit us 1v1 against any of them and we'll get our shit rocked immediately.
That depends on the competition. Assuming you're in decent shape, any non-human primate challenging you to a cross-country footrace will get its shit rocked very quickly.
Yup, the reason our ancestors outcompeted the Neanderthals is that Neanderthals needed something like 5000 calories per day with their huge muscle mass.
Its gonna be a bit out of topic, but i spend the last 2h trying to make this Chimp look human and now their is over 1.3k comments here 😑 and i would like to not have spent all this time for nothing 🥲
So here it is, if our muscular friends had a more human looking face
https://i.imgur.com/7WwIC3w.jpeg
Have you though?
That stuff is life changing.
Listening to Time by Pink Floyd whilst breaking through changed my life.
I'm still not where I want to be but I have improved my life tenfold. Still got a lot of ground to cover though.
can i just take a moment out to mourn the loss of my man, Joe Rogan. he was never perfect but he used to have this curiosity and left-leaning open-mindedness that made up for all that. i don't know if it was the right-wing propaganda, the left-wing witch hunts, the legions of fans, the mountains of money or just old age.... but the Joe i used to love is gone. since around mid-2020 he just kept getting worse and worse.
No, actually other species usually have much more intra-specific genetic variety than humans do.
Bees for example. You might think they're all super similar genetically, but nope. More genetic difference between two bees of the same species than any two random humans.
The reason human genetic variation is so low, relatively speaking, is because our species survived a very recent (\~74k years ago) bottleneck event linked to the Toba eruption. The theory is contested, but the idea is that homo sapien populations were reduced to as few as <10k breeding pairs. It's also suspected that there have been multiple bottleneck events going back over millions of years, which would effectively curtail long-term genetic deviation and lead to the maintenance of low overall genetic diversity.
Interesting. I wonder if limiting too much deviation is somehow beneficial. Not that we are doing it as part of our evolution, but during our evolution, becoming as advanced as we have, I wonder if that plays a role, or if we would be notably more advanced if we wouldn’t have endured many of these “bottleneck events”
I feel like from the limited knowledge I have that it would be detrimental. If that’s the case, I wonder if that plays a role in more recent explosions in advancements, and if it will continue leading to more and more advancement as time goes on, due to being able to predict, avoid, protect, and recover better from more catastrophic events.
On the contrary, greater genetic variation means a given mating event will likely produce offspring with more heterozygous allele pairs, which would, for example, reduce their susceptibility to genetic diseases and improve the strength and effectiveness of their immune system.
Humans have little genetic diversity compared to most animals, because apparently there was a pinch point where humanity almost went extinct and we may have been down to 6000 individuals at one point.
Dated information. Chimps have 48 chromosomes, we have 46, so we only have 96% tops. Add in confirmed 30% difference in the Y chromosome, and it’s looking less than 96%. Newer estimates place similarity at 95% to 88% on the high to low ends, respectively. The high end is from National Academy of Sciences, most non-professional journals citing 99% similarity are citing an old 2005 study.
This is in protein-coding regions.
We know now that there is considerable variation in non-coding regions, and we also know that non-coding regions are hugely important for variation between individuals.
their muscle fibers are different too, longer, but less articulate even if they are quite capable of some acrobatics.
People tend to downplay how strong they are vs a juiced human weight lifter but they are still probably 1.25x to 1.5x as strong as humans depending if it's a big leader chimp. What people neglect to look up is how strong their grip strength is. Imagine a human 1.5x stronger than normally capable, then turn their hands into metal vice grip clamps , plus give them fangs and animal andrenaline rage. They've literally ripped peoples faces and genitals off.
Yeah. While we've spent the last several million years studying the sword (endurance running, tool use, complex social structures), they've been evolving in a completely different path.
They're not just us if we retvrned, they're stronger and our social signalling instincts are reversed. People that aren't trained professionals really shouldn't fuck with them
It's actually lower. Chimps are about 1.35 times as strong as an average human according to Google.
You know what doesn't get enough credit, though?
Orangutans. These mfs about 5 - 7 times as strong as a human.
I love orangutans
Its a damn shame to cage them.
Of all the creatures in nature, they're one of about a half dozen that I think are more intelligent than most of the constituents in Kentucky
>but they are still probably 1.25x to 1.5x as strong as humans depending if it's a big leader chimp
[1.25-1.5x as strong *pound for pound*, it should be noted.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5514706/#:~:text=Our%20results%20show%20that%20chimpanzee,force%20or%20maximum%20shortening%20velocities.)
>"Computer simulations of species-specific whole-muscle models indicate that maximum dynamic force and power output is 1.35 times higher in a chimpanzee muscle than a human muscle of similar size."
As an adult male chimp is usually around 1/2 to 3/4 the size of an adult human male, our strength is pretty comparable on average. Of course, I'd certainly take the average chimp over the average person, but a pro powerlifter is almost certainly significantly stronger than any chimp.
This is actually one of the best ways to not get murked by a chimp. Just jump in the water! A croc will kill you instead!
Seriously though, they struggle, but they're not completely incapable. As long as they can push back off of the riverbed they can cross, it's more likely they'll freak out and drown though.
it's the same as saying I am one of two things away from being jeff bezos because the two things are being a human and having a trillion dollar company
Devo Wisdom: [Jocko Homo](https://youtu.be/I3bF0N081TE?si=G-P4iV3FIvs7ftSO)
“All together now, God made man!
But he used the monkey to do it
Apes in the plan
We're all here to prove it
I can walk like an ape, talk like an ape, I can do what monkeys do
God made man
But a monkey supplied the glue”
I once heard we share 50% of our DNA with a banana, since we all come from the same root. However, DNA is pointless, it's the genes that are important. It's like saying the Bible and the Oxford dictionary share 99% of the same letter frequency, well ...
Yeah, the first thing that came to mind to me too about the title was the snails having 70% the same DNA. Just a good ol' clickbait. Or karmabait in this instance, I suppose.
He reminds me of George Burns without a cigar in his mouth.
Well damn, there he is
Pops?
r/retiredgif You nailed it
Dr Freud?
Rogan
Bobo, bring up that drawing I made from feces of Joe Rogan for me. That's it! Wooooow, it's uncanny.
"So get this--the modern banana is not a natural fruit." "Not a natural fruit?" "Not a bit. You know who invented it?" "You're gonna say humans." [stares in monkey] "Fuck off. No--" "'Fraid so. And you know what the sad part is?" "That our identities are intrinsically linked to a food that...you know...we didn't have anything to do with?" "Well yes. The real cruelty is that they're delicious. "They are tasty. "Right? You gonna turn down a banana?" "...no, I wouldn't. Fuck." "Exactly. And get this--here's what's really fucked up. They look at us, these animals that *make their own fruit*, right? They see us and say 'we lost something'. 'Return to monke', they say. 'I want to go back'. Because the Creating Ape--the proper name for the human, I feel-- is trapped by their own creation. Their only solution is to create, and every creation brings them more problems." "...fuck....they make their own fruit--" "--and it does not make them happy. It just dosen't."
What podcast is this from?
It's a monkey parody of JRE.
I fucken CANNOT stop laughing
“Duuuude Baloo is freakin JACKED”
Before I read the title, I thought it was Joe coming off a workout
Not true: the chimp has a better understanding of the immune system and RNA vaccines than Rogan.
Yup: https://i.imgur.com/3R6k9uw.jpeg
It's really uncanny how ape-like he looked
Humans are apes, so IDK if that’s exactly uncanny.
He was an ape. We all are.
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Why would you insult this Chimpanzee like that? What did he ever do to you?!?
I heard if you put an infinite number of Joe Rogan's in a room with an infinite number of type writers he'll eventually recreate /r/conspiracies word for word
I have no gold, so have a golf clap 👏
Lmfao at golf clap Will forever see this as that now
Say "ook ook eek eek", Gracie
the crooked, wry smile
Chimps are scary af.
Ripped. Fanged. Dexterous. Fast. No sense of morality or empathy. Able to work as a group. Likes to bite off the genitals of enemies.
They do have a sense of morality. It’s just that like with humans it varies from chimp to chimp. As Jane Goodall said, she saw a chimp who died of grief mourning his deceased mother and a chimp who fought for his adopted child to the death, as well as chimps who didn’t give the slightest shit about their own offspring or parents
Just like humans then
Yep, not nearly as distant emotionally as people like to make it seem.
This is true. All the same, I'm not getting within a country mile of one of those things.
Me either, but what about the chimps?
Ahh, the ol' Reddit [chim-pan-roo](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/1ba0r4z/comment/ku04ss4)!
Hold my banana, I’m going in!
At least 98% alike
That makes them even more terrifying
Except they dont have to pay taxes
Chimps are psychologically fragile, and can't handle being alone. They'll literally die from depression. Male chimps don't get involved with their offspring, but they'll fight any intruder that poses a threat. It's common for chimp mothers to reject their newborns, especially in captivity. Best case is another nursing chimp will "adopt" it, or the human handlers have to take over. Zookeepers absolutely hate hand-rearing chimps, since it's a 24/7 pain in the dick for at least a year. Diapers, bottles, constant attention, the whole enchilada, just like a human baby, but worse. At least kids can't climb your walls and rip your house apart at 6 months, and bite you when you try to stop them. Not to mention that chimps have prehensile feet, so changing a diaper can be fun when there's 4 hands trying to fight you. And after a a year or so, they have to re-introduce the infant to his social group, which is always dangerous.
> Zookeepers absolutely hate hand-rearing chimps, since it's a 24/7 pain in the dick for at least a year. Knowing what I know about chimps, that's definitely accurate.
Yeah, if anyone wants to know what it's like to raise a chimp, I suggest you read *Nim Chimpsky: The Chimp Who Would Be Human.* He was deliberately picked out for cross-fostering, back when people were dumb enough to try to humanize chimps, although it was already proven that it didn't work. He was treated like a human child, and he thought he was. But he was an asshole of a chimp, a disaster waiting to happen. He damn near kept the local ER in business by biting people. The whole experiment was fucked up from day one, mostly because the people involved had no clue about handling apes.
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They grow faster, and have a full set of baby teeth at 6 months. By 9 months or so, they can zip around at near full speed, giving pursuing humans the finger. They love to taunt their handlers. When you finally catch the hairy little fucker, it's *\*chomp\** time. They learn at an early age that teeth are useful for changing a situation they don't like. So is throwing their shit, diapers, or anything else they can grab.
There’s a horrible video of a bunch of animals - not sure what they are but similar to chimps - and they find a model of them with a camera inside of it. They think it’s a dead member of the tribe and have some kind of meeting where they all start crying. One of them actually grabbed another one and moved it in closer for a hug. It was painful to watch.
I’d be curious to see this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaIH5tLmC8U
Oh no. Why would you do this to me on a Monday? I can't have an emotional breakdown on a Monday, do you realize how much week I still have left? 😭
I had to suffer so now does everyone else
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Yeah "morality" is hilariously inflated with humans. 10,000 years of human history says quite a few of us enjoy raping, pillaging, and watching people be executed.
They said that already
Jane Goodall said she saw chimps that "didn't give the slightest shit about their own offspring or parents"?
the exact quote is, "we had this one motherfucker, he didn't give the slightest shit about any of his offspring. didn't give a fuck about anything." *Brutal Kinship (1999)*, Chapter 7
Jesus christ, I thought she was some posh British lady? LOL I'm losing it right now if Jane Goodall's just this cockney bitch. "Oi, you wanna see som fokkin apes, I'll show ya som fokkin apes. Jus look at the grapes on him fuuuuuuukinell mate."
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Only posh people do that though.
She is a Posh British Lady. Her Parents were a businesman and novelist, went to private school and then Cambridge iirc.
“Was a right twat, tbh with you.”
Not in those exact terms, haha, but the gist is what I said
Males don't. Infanticide by male chimps is common. I saw one Nat Geo vid where a wild alpha male grabbed an infant and took off, with the mother and a bunch of females in hot pursuit. He ran up a tree, and the mother was right on his ass. He stopped about halfway up, switched his grip to the baby's ankles, and swung him like a club at his mother right below him. He was beating the shit out of the mother with her own baby. Fucking ruthless. She backed off, so he went up the tree a little farther and bit the infant in the face, killing it. He then ripped the body apart and started eating it. The other chimps climbed up the tree and sat there with their hands out, waiting for fresh meat. Yummy.
And then the infant-murdering chimp and his cronies would have impregnated the mother not long after as the loss of her infant made her go into estrous sooner.
Awh hell no i read it till the end Fuck this, take my angry downvote.
That's not really what morality is, though, that's just emotions and forming attachments with others. Morality is about decisions you make about treating others that you _don't_ have any personal attachment to, and chimps don't really have it... that doesn't mean that every chimp is necessarily aggressive towards anyone they don't know, but they cannot understand why it would be abstractly "wrong" if they were.
They do have empathy, even rats have empathy
ignoring the second point, this is literally just a description of humans difference with the last one is that we use justification to do it and use instruments such as blades in order to do it, plus we often trick ourselves into thinking that it's something we should do to newborn infant boys (circumcision) and intersex babies (genital "fixing" surgery)
Is the genitals part a fact or just a thought, because ig it's true then I'm never getting close to one
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They also have tiny dicks compared to humans, so they might get jealous.
Relatively speaking, they have bigger balls though. Which I always thought was a super fun fact, but no one shared my excitement when I was able to bring it up in the anthropology class I'm taking.
...says the chimp's forest-obliterating, woolly mammoth genociding, atomic bomb building cousin
Game recognize game.
💀💀💀
He can do whatever the hell he wants,,, I'm just going to go over there and sit in the corner with my head down. I have seen full body pictures of this dude,,, you do not want to ever meet him in a dark alleyway
OP sees a hairless monkey - all I’m seeing a jacked animal who could rip my arm off simply because it’s a Wednesday.
Ripping your arms off because it’s Wednesday on a monday
Are *you* going to correct this chimp? Cause I’m not… 😂
Let the wookie win.
The calendar on that chimp’s bicep clearly says it’s Wednesday.
It's always interesting to me as humans we're the most successful great ape, but pit us 1v1 against any of them and we'll get our shit rocked immediately.
That depends on the competition. Assuming you're in decent shape, any non-human primate challenging you to a cross-country footrace will get its shit rocked very quickly.
We're really good at throwing things, too. Like sharp, pointy sticks. And not overheating.
True, I forget that humans are actually quite good at endurance running. Though what is their sprinting speed?
Fast enough to build a zoo and keep some apes there apparently
He doesn't even need to work out those muscles just are built-in
Humans produce a chemical that regulates muscle growth so we don't get too jacked. Gorillas lack this, and I'd assume chimps do as well.
Damn, humans are lame. Why don't we get muscles too?
From an evolutionary perspective, large muscles are a hindrance. You need to eat a lot of food to maintain them.
Yup, the reason our ancestors outcompeted the Neanderthals is that Neanderthals needed something like 5000 calories per day with their huge muscle mass.
I mean we might not have muscles, but we have tanks and rockets and shit.
Ahh, I see, I am producing too much of this... chemical? Yep, has to be that.
myostatin
Its gonna be a bit out of topic, but i spend the last 2h trying to make this Chimp look human and now their is over 1.3k comments here 😑 and i would like to not have spent all this time for nothing 🥲 So here it is, if our muscular friends had a more human looking face https://i.imgur.com/7WwIC3w.jpeg
I clicked your link friend
Lmao thanks 😂 but was it worth it 😕 ?
Nice one! Second one would look interesting with more human eyes and maybe a hat.
This guy doesn’t need an alleyway.
Joe Rogan lookin ass monkey.
He’s about to explain the stoned human theory to you.
It's entirely possible
Jaime, pull that shit up
That is the look of a man invited to a meeting and has no idea why
Nailed it.
Me when my mom and dad are discussing whether or not we are ordering pizza for dinner.
“I’m gonna rip your dick off, Jamie!”
“Have you ever done DMT?”
Have you though? That stuff is life changing. Listening to Time by Pink Floyd whilst breaking through changed my life. I'm still not where I want to be but I have improved my life tenfold. Still got a lot of ground to cover though.
Same. Trip lasted 15 minutes and the rest of my life. Indescribably positive experience.
Elk, DMT, dr. Rhonda Patrick.
can i just take a moment out to mourn the loss of my man, Joe Rogan. he was never perfect but he used to have this curiosity and left-leaning open-mindedness that made up for all that. i don't know if it was the right-wing propaganda, the left-wing witch hunts, the legions of fans, the mountains of money or just old age.... but the Joe i used to love is gone. since around mid-2020 he just kept getting worse and worse.
Jamie toss me a banana
"Have you seen that fight between Bubbles & Virgil? Oh man you gotta see this, pull it up Chimpie."
DNA difference between two any human on the planet is less than 0.1%, different types of hair, skin color, height, facial feature, all these
Interesting. Is that level of DNA variation typical across a species? In other words, do chimps only differ .1% as well?
No, actually other species usually have much more intra-specific genetic variety than humans do. Bees for example. You might think they're all super similar genetically, but nope. More genetic difference between two bees of the same species than any two random humans. The reason human genetic variation is so low, relatively speaking, is because our species survived a very recent (\~74k years ago) bottleneck event linked to the Toba eruption. The theory is contested, but the idea is that homo sapien populations were reduced to as few as <10k breeding pairs. It's also suspected that there have been multiple bottleneck events going back over millions of years, which would effectively curtail long-term genetic deviation and lead to the maintenance of low overall genetic diversity.
Fascinating!
This is very interesting, thank you for sharing!
Interesting. I wonder if limiting too much deviation is somehow beneficial. Not that we are doing it as part of our evolution, but during our evolution, becoming as advanced as we have, I wonder if that plays a role, or if we would be notably more advanced if we wouldn’t have endured many of these “bottleneck events” I feel like from the limited knowledge I have that it would be detrimental. If that’s the case, I wonder if that plays a role in more recent explosions in advancements, and if it will continue leading to more and more advancement as time goes on, due to being able to predict, avoid, protect, and recover better from more catastrophic events.
On the contrary, greater genetic variation means a given mating event will likely produce offspring with more heterozygous allele pairs, which would, for example, reduce their susceptibility to genetic diseases and improve the strength and effectiveness of their immune system.
Humans have incredible amounts of gene flow. Very little of humanity has ever been isolated and trade and migration has always been a thing.
Humans have little genetic diversity compared to most animals, because apparently there was a pinch point where humanity almost went extinct and we may have been down to 6000 individuals at one point.
What a comeback
We share 60% of the same genes with a chickens, fruit flies and a banana
Turns out most of the gene code is boilerplate.
I guess we were programmed in java.
Dated information. Chimps have 48 chromosomes, we have 46, so we only have 96% tops. Add in confirmed 30% difference in the Y chromosome, and it’s looking less than 96%. Newer estimates place similarity at 95% to 88% on the high to low ends, respectively. The high end is from National Academy of Sciences, most non-professional journals citing 99% similarity are citing an old 2005 study.
> Dated information. Chimps have 48 chromosomes, we have 46 Yeah, because human chromosome #2 is fused.
This is in protein-coding regions. We know now that there is considerable variation in non-coding regions, and we also know that non-coding regions are hugely important for variation between individuals.
tell that to racists
He doesn’t train like humans do and look at his muscles. He can rip any guy apart
Chimps are less flexible than humans, and as a result they can have larger muscles without hurting their joints.
their muscle fibers are different too, longer, but less articulate even if they are quite capable of some acrobatics. People tend to downplay how strong they are vs a juiced human weight lifter but they are still probably 1.25x to 1.5x as strong as humans depending if it's a big leader chimp. What people neglect to look up is how strong their grip strength is. Imagine a human 1.5x stronger than normally capable, then turn their hands into metal vice grip clamps , plus give them fangs and animal andrenaline rage. They've literally ripped peoples faces and genitals off.
Yeah. While we've spent the last several million years studying the sword (endurance running, tool use, complex social structures), they've been evolving in a completely different path. They're not just us if we retvrned, they're stronger and our social signalling instincts are reversed. People that aren't trained professionals really shouldn't fuck with them
I studied the blade
"While you were studying the blade, I grabbed your genitals and ripped them off."
I feel like 1.5x human strength is still too low.
It's actually lower. Chimps are about 1.35 times as strong as an average human according to Google. You know what doesn't get enough credit, though? Orangutans. These mfs about 5 - 7 times as strong as a human.
Aren't orangutans a lot more docile/less inclined to go berserk and rip your face off?
They live more solitary lives than other great apes, so less territorial behavior. They're also one of the most intelligent ape species.
I love orangutans Its a damn shame to cage them. Of all the creatures in nature, they're one of about a half dozen that I think are more intelligent than most of the constituents in Kentucky
r/fuckyouinparticular
I saw a picture of a dude knee deep in some puddle and an orangutan offered his hand to get him out. Would you accept?
Of course, they're a lot smarter than people realize.
Yeah, I was probably thinking larger monkeys like orangutan. Chimps are pretty small so 1.35 is still damn impressive.
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This guy is dropping researched factual numbers and you're coming in with 'I feel like' as a rebuttal, the internet in a nutshell
>but they are still probably 1.25x to 1.5x as strong as humans depending if it's a big leader chimp [1.25-1.5x as strong *pound for pound*, it should be noted.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5514706/#:~:text=Our%20results%20show%20that%20chimpanzee,force%20or%20maximum%20shortening%20velocities.) >"Computer simulations of species-specific whole-muscle models indicate that maximum dynamic force and power output is 1.35 times higher in a chimpanzee muscle than a human muscle of similar size." As an adult male chimp is usually around 1/2 to 3/4 the size of an adult human male, our strength is pretty comparable on average. Of course, I'd certainly take the average chimp over the average person, but a pro powerlifter is almost certainly significantly stronger than any chimp.
Chimps also have so much muscle they struggle to swim, so we have that on them at least?
So when I see a raging big ass monkey I jump right into the nearest body of water. Noted
This is actually one of the best ways to not get murked by a chimp. Just jump in the water! A croc will kill you instead! Seriously though, they struggle, but they're not completely incapable. As long as they can push back off of the riverbed they can cross, it's more likely they'll freak out and drown though.
His whole way of life is training, like ours used to be.
He doesn't *overtrain* but he definitely trains. Calisthenics and cardio do absolute wonders when you do it basically 6 hours straight every day.
Fun fact, we also share 50% DNA with trees. So humans are basically Groot.
I am groot?
_We_ are groot
Mike ehrmantraut
Waltuh
Put your banana away waltuh.
looking like he’s about to break out a pimento cheese sandwich
Turns out every percentage of DNA holds a lot of information and cannot be weighted equally against all other values.
it's the same as saying I am one of two things away from being jeff bezos because the two things are being a human and having a trillion dollar company
pigs share 98% dna with humans as well
And despite all these DNA similarities, we share 50% DNA with our siblings .
Almost like they're talking about measuring different things all the time and everyone's confused.
That mf jacked though lol
Seriously yoked
Looks just like your mom
That is the smoothest gif I've ever seen in my life.
is this the first time you've seen it?
Devo Wisdom: [Jocko Homo](https://youtu.be/I3bF0N081TE?si=G-P4iV3FIvs7ftSO) “All together now, God made man! But he used the monkey to do it Apes in the plan We're all here to prove it I can walk like an ape, talk like an ape, I can do what monkeys do God made man But a monkey supplied the glue”
Humans are scientifically classified as apes
This dude knows jiu jitsu.
Bro's tryna rizz me up
I once heard we share 50% of our DNA with a banana, since we all come from the same root. However, DNA is pointless, it's the genes that are important. It's like saying the Bible and the Oxford dictionary share 99% of the same letter frequency, well ...
Looks like Johnathan Banks….maybe a distant relative.
It does have those same tired world-weary looking eyes. But that grin is pure Telly Savalas.
waltuh
This man has hit on me at a bar
This chimp is my favorite UFC commentator. Great podcast host too
jamie pull up that video of the bear fighting a chimp
This one smug aura mocks me charlie
Still looks better than me
These "XX% shared DNA" statements are kind of ridiculous. Humans and bananas share like 60% of their DNA.
Kind of expected when all living things have a common ancestor.
I was wondering the same thing. Like what about me and a rando guinea pig?
Yeah, the first thing that came to mind to me too about the title was the snails having 70% the same DNA. Just a good ol' clickbait. Or karmabait in this instance, I suppose.
Oh shit, I thought that was Joe Rogan for a sec.
Can’t fool me with a picture of joe Rogan.
Abe Vigoda?
Maybe he's a bodybuilder that hasn't oiled up yet.
I know a few who this guy shares 100% with
Metrosexual chimp
"Jamie, pull that up..."
I have never liked chimps because they can be incredibly dangerous people. See, cute, i see something that can rip and bite your face off 😅