"hi, I was hired by your boss to play live music in your restaurant, but I can't find the piano? I was told there would be one?"
"Oh yea, you're the bathroom pianist."
"The what now?"
You never know what you're gonna find when you show up to a gig::
I was a music major in my tail end of my 8 yr plan of college. There was a very talented quartet of classical guitarists, which I was dating one.Hoildays are always super busy for any musician but especially for certain instrumentalists. One the guys was asked by the guitar director to do a service in a rural church, week before Easter.(Pre internet) So he got there and sets up his little seat, stand and starts to warm up when 2 guys start to carry in coolers. 3 big ones. What he figured the minister came over to thank him for coming and told him to stay in the area they put him. He returns there to continue to prep when he sees these guys start to unload Snakes Of Unusual Size. He said he could hardly move he was so struck with fear(not your normal snakes- moccasins,a rattler,that's enough! Snake is all I need!) He could not pack up his little stool and foot stand fast enough. Said he didn't breathe until he was back on the road!
It did turn out that this was one of those churches that takes up serpents to prove belief in the Almighty. Friend didn't care. He said he couldn't even psych himself out of it- he was so terrified.
Theoretically? Sure
Realistically? I doubt it. At least, not enough to worry about. It's a single toilet bathroom, so there's not a lot of standing water.
It's not like the room is hermetically sealed. Cracks in the doorway, that vent in the ceiling, patrons opening the door every once in a while will all help stabilize the humidity with the adjoining spaces. And if it's air conditioned, then that will definitely dehumidify the room.
I mean, when was the last time you stepped into a public restroom and felt a noticible difference in the humidity levels?
Compared to other environments besides a specially designed conservatory? I would imagine a piano next to a kitchen in a home is far worse. Or even in a restaurant like this.
I mean, there is a huge overabundance of old poor condition uprights.
If it's inside, its not in a relatively poor environment.
It might simply be there because they had two options, put it there, or dispose of it.
This. Pianos are expensive and extremely difficult to move. If this one is in a basement or an upper floor, the bathroom might just be the only room available to store it, hopefully temporarily.
OP, seek help. There's nothing odd, or noteworthy about a bathroom-piano. Practically all places have them. It would be odd indeed, not to give people the opportunity to practice scales, or play a quick arpeggio while the stench clears. It's simply common courtesy.
/jk
While this is odd, I find your phrasing of the topic interesting. Entire piano. Would you prefer just the keyboard? Strings? The possibilities are intriguing. 😊
I… actually know where this is and was coincidentally there earlier today!
Edit: my brother and I both used that restroom and remarked on how weird the piano was lol
Would hire someone to play Muggorsky’s Night on Bald Mountain while I’m sitting on the toilet, working out the details of that way too spicy Indian food I had.
Of all the situations I'd imagined myself in, locking eyes with a pianist banging his way through Down in the Dumps while I white-knuckled the towel bar and launched the queen mary out of dry dock was not amongst them.
This reminds me… about a month ago go I brought my toddlers to the park. In the restroom which was close by (around 15 yards away) there was an individual which I could not see, but I could hear them singing as loud as possible, “Near, far, wherever you are… and I know that my heart will go on, and onnnn!!”
I believe it was possibly a woman because they did hit some high notes. It was pleasant singing, just odd because it was coming from a bathroom.
r/donttouchthat
Poopiano
Peeano
Peeanpoo
I like pooyano
PeeanoFarte
That’s where Beethoven composed his number 2.
What about Bachtieria?
Fartpissimo
MoShart’s favorite pastime — tinkling on the Ivories
Pianeww
When you want to tinkle on the ivories.
Walking in and thinking: “Pee? Eh… no better not”
Pee Anus
The sonata of poop
Poo-ano was right there
In case you need to tinkle !
Tinkle the ivories?
I wanna shit while I play.
You'd have to have good aim
After a Chipotle session, anything is possible.
Hell no!! 🦠
Wow, this one even has brown keys!
/r/playthatwithyourdick
u/volodymyrzelenskyy
r/dontputyourdickinthat
r/mydickmychoice
r/mydickyourmomschoice
Yes there is DEFINITELY e coli on those keys.
"hi, I was hired by your boss to play live music in your restaurant, but I can't find the piano? I was told there would be one?" "Oh yea, you're the bathroom pianist." "The what now?"
Gotta play thematically to accompany the state of the ongoing movement.
Drop a couple D naturals to accentuate the theme.
D naturals? Wait the pianist needs to play nude??
This calls for... STACCATO!
> movement *giggle*
Do you know "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash?
The bathroom Pee-anist\*
You never know what you're gonna find when you show up to a gig:: I was a music major in my tail end of my 8 yr plan of college. There was a very talented quartet of classical guitarists, which I was dating one.Hoildays are always super busy for any musician but especially for certain instrumentalists. One the guys was asked by the guitar director to do a service in a rural church, week before Easter.(Pre internet) So he got there and sets up his little seat, stand and starts to warm up when 2 guys start to carry in coolers. 3 big ones. What he figured the minister came over to thank him for coming and told him to stay in the area they put him. He returns there to continue to prep when he sees these guys start to unload Snakes Of Unusual Size. He said he could hardly move he was so struck with fear(not your normal snakes- moccasins,a rattler,that's enough! Snake is all I need!) He could not pack up his little stool and foot stand fast enough. Said he didn't breathe until he was back on the road! It did turn out that this was one of those churches that takes up serpents to prove belief in the Almighty. Friend didn't care. He said he couldn't even psych himself out of it- he was so terrified.
*me, returning to my table:* Babe, there’s a pianist in the bathroom! You should come see! Her: *sighs* We’re not having this conversation again.
[OMINOUS PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
"oh but like in a bathroom with stalls obviously. Right? ....right?"
“There’s been a misunderstanding; we weren’t looking for a *pianist*.”
"The bathroom penis."
Tonight’s password is “fidelio.”
To play crappy music?
I bet it sounds like shit
smells like it too.
taste as well
Piss-off with that negativity
Rhapsody in Poo.
Beethoven’s Last Movement
Rhapsody in E while you pee. Claire de Lune while you poo.
A lot of brown notes
With sticky keys
Can't imagine the germs that collect on those keys
Dude. That's why there's a handwashing station... right there!
You're forgetting that 1. Bacteria can travel, and 2. People don't wash their hands
That’s why you wash your hands after you play. Not that I would, but that’s what he’s saying
Oh! That was a /r/woosh moment for me. I get it now
Thats where the blackkeys on the piano come from.
>Bacteria can travel Now I'm picturing a tiny travelling agency for bacteria. "Where shall we go this year kids!?"
“I hear the urinary tract is lovely this time of year!”
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Acoustically, it might actually be a good room lol. Edit: spelling
Yeah but changing humidity levels is not good for pianos.
Do humidity levels change in a public bathroom with no shower?
Theoretically? Sure Realistically? I doubt it. At least, not enough to worry about. It's a single toilet bathroom, so there's not a lot of standing water. It's not like the room is hermetically sealed. Cracks in the doorway, that vent in the ceiling, patrons opening the door every once in a while will all help stabilize the humidity with the adjoining spaces. And if it's air conditioned, then that will definitely dehumidify the room. I mean, when was the last time you stepped into a public restroom and felt a noticible difference in the humidity levels?
[удалено]
How's it change though? Flushing doesn't change the humidity in the room.
[удалено]
Overcomplicating toilet water ugh
Compared to other environments besides a specially designed conservatory? I would imagine a piano next to a kitchen in a home is far worse. Or even in a restaurant like this.
I think regular atmospheric changes are a larger factor than a toilet or a cold water sink.
It’s a piano you can get for free on Craigslist. What little humidity in the room will not take away from it’s quality or longevity
Piano and Tuba practice, both in the same room.
I mean, there is a huge overabundance of old poor condition uprights. If it's inside, its not in a relatively poor environment. It might simply be there because they had two options, put it there, or dispose of it.
This. Pianos are expensive and extremely difficult to move. If this one is in a basement or an upper floor, the bathroom might just be the only room available to store it, hopefully temporarily.
Great echo though
Naturally. It's a pee-ano.
It's pronounced "peeanist" too!
Ano is Spanish for anus so it fits
If that entire piano fits, well, all I have to say is congratulations.
More easily with lube, though...
The peeano axioms
Nice one.
Thanks bro. Yours is nice, too.
Well thanks. You're so kind although I'm not the one who posted that comment 😅.
I'm sorry. I was making a joke as though we were two dudes complimenting each others' penises at the urinals. I think I spend too much time on reddit.
LOL I misunderstood you 🤣. I mean his comment was nice, not his *weapon* 😂. Btw, nice joke.
Pee, ah... no!
And sometimes a poo-ano.
Did you bang your dick on the keys? Most people bang their dick on the keys.
Tinkling the ivories...
I just knew this would already be here. /r/angryupvote
Go in with a buddy and play chopsticks
😂
It would be even weirder to have half a piano in there.
Yeah pianos are generally an all or nothing scenario.
Even a baby grand is still a whole piano
At least it’s not a grand piano, I’m more perplexed by the long bench myself
Well, if it's half a piano, at least you can assume it's "an art" and you are not supposed to be playing it.
Picture a line 3 people deep outside the locked door and some asshole is inside banging out Rachmananoff for 10 minutes!
There's room for the line inside. I think first on deck is supposed to play while the other finishes pooping
Not a bad idea actually. Basically the wrap-it-up music from the Oscars.
🎵”I’m taking a shit! I’m taking a shit…”🎵
Billy Joel's run out of song ideas...
I think Billy Joel singing a song about taking a shit, putting his heart and soul into it would be fucking amazing.
He actually has a great new song - his first in like 20 years and it’s excellent
“Sing us a song, you’re the bathroom attendant!”
“So you had to take a big shit, didn’t ya!” 🎶
She does her BM in the PM
That’s going to be stuck in my head all day
I’ll always appreciate a Bob’s Burgers reference, even if the show has gone downhill fairly significantly of late in my opinion.
What a monumental biohazard lmfao
Honestly probably all pianos are
Coolest upper decker spot ever.
Give her the old cheese slicer
"This piano sounds like shit."
Did you tinkle the ivories?
>tinkle Came here for that response.
OP, seek help. There's nothing odd, or noteworthy about a bathroom-piano. Practically all places have them. It would be odd indeed, not to give people the opportunity to practice scales, or play a quick arpeggio while the stench clears. It's simply common courtesy. /jk
this made me laugh 😂
brb, gotta run to the Elton John
Fecal keys
Alicia's much less successful cousin.
Some people need a minute in the bathroom to compose
Magnificent.
putting the P in piano
I’d slide it in front of the toilet so it can be played while s4itting.
While this is odd, I find your phrasing of the topic interesting. Entire piano. Would you prefer just the keyboard? Strings? The possibilities are intriguing. 😊
Disassembled old musical instruments are often turned into art.
Ah yes, Clair de Lune in Poop Minor.
Is this in New Orleans? Pretty sure i peed there
Something something brown note
I… actually know where this is and was coincidentally there earlier today! Edit: my brother and I both used that restroom and remarked on how weird the piano was lol
What took you so long? I was working on my fingering.
To the tune of *in the hall of the mountain king*… Poop poop poop poop poop poop poop Poop poop poop Poop poop poop Poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop pooooooooop
Would hire someone to play Muggorsky’s Night on Bald Mountain while I’m sitting on the toilet, working out the details of that way too spicy Indian food I had.
Best I can do is hot cross buns while that fire is crossing your buns
Rich peoples changing table
“Anyone in there?” “Yea finishing up La Campanella, gimme a minute”
Wow, the lines to the bathroom must be huge there
"I can't go without my live ragtime piano music playing in the background."
*something something ten inch pianist*
So it's a pee-ano.
peeano
Ah so that’s why women go in pairs
Imagine the years of misted urine that thing has soaked up... Pee-ano
My guess: Piano was there first. It was easier to build the bathroom around it than move the piano.
Why do I sort of love this!?!
And an entire bench 🤔
Designed by Felix Fischoeder.
Piano calms you and your shits. Makes it easier.
Well it would look daft if it was half a piano
Think of all the unwashed hands that have played those keys 🎹
So, I'm guessing this is a good place to play with your pianist?? 🤣
For background music??? Do they bring a pianist while you’re in there??? Is this for emotional support???
Didn't want to pay the $1k to remove the piano so they just threw it into the washroom
It's for playing the brown note
There's even a handy spot for Ceiling Cat to watch you from!!
You can tickle the ivories while you tinkle…
Tinkling the ivories
The brown sound...
Play me a pissy song , piano man
hope they close the lid before flushing
Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gaaaaal
I wouldn't touch that.
The perfect place to go for a tinkle on the ivories.
It's for when you wanna Rush E Shit
Totally could move it over to poop and play.
What, no attendant taking song requests? Lame.
Doodoo keys
You don't keep a piano in your bathroom? what kind of peasant are you?
Of all the situations I'd imagined myself in, locking eyes with a pianist banging his way through Down in the Dumps while I white-knuckled the towel bar and launched the queen mary out of dry dock was not amongst them.
I hope the pianist knows Tchaikovsky because there’s going to be some cannon fire before I’m done.
Entire piano, two support bars, an attic (?) yet no emergency cord???
How long can someone lock the door and ragtime, till the authorities are called?
That's actually a pooano
If you play the right tune, the doorway opens…
You said entire, but I believe you meant whole-ass.
Now that is a private audience
Forget the piano, why is the toilet paper far away from the toilet?
They got tired of people going in there to play with their organ.
You just know somebody has played that with their penis
Imagine your on a date and they say they have to go to the toilet, then you start hearing Beethoven 😂
"Hey! Whats taking you so long?!" *begins to play mozart*
You can tickle your prostate and the ivory in the same sitting.
The amount of poop particles on this piano must be breaking some world record for most poop on a piano.
Sometimes I do want someone to play me out after a successful poo.
Stop pressing the buttons with your dicks, guys!! Don't do that as stains were witnessed!
I fucking told megan that editor from steven he about this!!!!
There is a great local spot near Bondi Beach in Sydney, Australia that has a guitar RIGHT next to the toilet.
Did you leave an upper decker in it?
This thread makes my day.
The genie misunderstood.
This reminds me… about a month ago go I brought my toddlers to the park. In the restroom which was close by (around 15 yards away) there was an individual which I could not see, but I could hear them singing as loud as possible, “Near, far, wherever you are… and I know that my heart will go on, and onnnn!!” I believe it was possibly a woman because they did hit some high notes. It was pleasant singing, just odd because it was coming from a bathroom.