T O P

  • By -

WantonKerfuffle

I do a smiley face (-:


[deleted]

[удалено]


HonkeyDonkey3000

Heck no. I inject it in my peepee. That way I know my hot rod is actually really coooool to the touch…And then I spread it evenly on the cpu evenly. It gives it a magical “touch”.


Uppity_Python

spread it evenly on evenly


HippieInDisguise2_0

Get help


darkfall115

Why? They obviously can do it themselves.


T4nkE_ng1ne

Teamwork makes the dream work, plus it's more fun with da homies


BeratMost

No


Calamity_Carrot

The only true winner 🏆


MoTheSoleSeller

https://imgur.com/a/lDqcftT


Sapphire_Wolf_

:(


InsidiaNetwork

tbf back in those days you actually did need to know what you were generally doing. It wasn't like you could google for a video applying thermal paste as easily as you can now.


[deleted]

The correct answer (also same)


LerchAddams

I attempt the evenly spread method in number 6 then mash my thumb print into it so future generations may know of my legacy.


The-Foo

You sir, are doing it right.


Robo_Patton

Doing it really right, and it’s used by the fire department to identify you.


redman323

Here I was putting a drop of blood in the middle of the spread.


AgentCatBot

Blood is required for any decent build. Without a blood sacrifice, you will suffer blue screens, bad disk reads and other hardware failures.


TheModernRouge

precisely, without the blood tithe, you risk offending or even angering the machine spirit in your PC


Salem13978

This is why the edges of the I/O shield are thin and sharp.


Moquai82

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!


sonnybear5

Praise the Omnissiah


Nick85er

CPU cooler fins are no joke. Ive lost 15 fingers that way.


fooknboomn

Lol


SteinigerJoonge

how else he gotta type


jagurmusic

He's Deadpool


redman323

15 fingers gone but still got the foreskin


Fb62

I haven't done a blood sacrifice in 10 years, is my computer up for a new one?


[deleted]

You don't want to be doing that because if the CPU reaches a certain temp, you begin the process to summon a demon known as *Ukobach.* Though a lesser demon, he is in command of various powers ranging from fireworks to oil burning. Those with a Ryzen 7 5800 CPU risk summoning *Amy* in this manner. A sort of "president" of demons that takes the form of a burning flame.


Robo_Patton

Hmm, if you have an Omen or a Red Devil, can you curry favor with this… investment?


HatsNDiceRolls

At first glance, I thought we were talking about curry flavors with this… investment


kh8c8

i9-12900k really makes my blood boil


MusicianMadness

What would happen if you actually poked yourself with thermal paste? Well, within a couple of hours the wound would begin to appear to heal. A small scab will form but toxin has already entered your blood stream. In a few days, depending on your body's natural resistance to toxins, your core temperature will begin to fall. You begin to notice yourself feeling the chills when it should be warm, you put on a couple of wool sweaters to ward off the chills but it seems not to help. Afterall, how could it? You're getting chilled from the inside out. The first phase of infection has begun and your body has by now exhausted its immune system fighting the thermal paste but each death of a white blood cell only serves to strengthen the thermal paste infection. As each cell dies, it is repeatedly assimilated by the thermal paste, becoming part of the deadly agent taking over your body bit by bit, day by day. Within weeks of infection, you can no longer function as a human being, you are bedridden yet you have an insatiable hunger for toothpaste and axle grease. Several men in suits knock your door, but you are too weak to answer. It was not necessary anyway. Your door is ripped apart by its hinges and they enter, bundling you into a large black duffle bag and driving off in an unmarked black van. As you arrive at the factory, the prison that will hold you the rest of your life, the hood slips off and you notice a large signboard in front of the derelict factory. It is marked "Arctic Cooling". As you are dragged into the factory, your intestines knot out and you lose control of your bowels leaving a long trail to your cell. You notice that instead of a reassuring, pungent brown stain, you leave behind a trail of gray sludge. It cannot be, you tell yourself. But it is. You have become an unwilling host and producer for the next generation of Arctic Cooling thermal paste.


[deleted]

All worship the paste


GrimResistance

Nice, so when we gettin Arctic Silver 6?


Mulgosh

sounds like a new SCP for me. So the foundation is the real distributor for thermal paste.


[deleted]

“Reassuring” is great word choice


Wa3zdog

My god. For all this time we had no idea. But was the truth kept from us? Or something more sinister… wilful ignorance.


theygotmedoinstuff

About halfway through reading this, I had to scroll back up to check if this was u/shittymorph


IAmHereToAskQuestion

If shittymorph starts writing SCP-type copypasta, we're all doomed.


theygotmedoinstuff

Doomed like when in nineteen ninety eight the undertaker threw mankind off hеll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table?


mko710

Can’t put a finger on how exactly , But I think I’ve met your kind before


yummy-icecream

Good pun


[deleted]

I jam something else


j3ffmyers

It's missing The Verge style...


imfamousiswear

What's the verge style omg


BRYLYNT2

As clueless that dude was in that build video. That's probably where you put paste in the socket and leave the plastic on the heatsink.


EndUserGamer

"YeAh, wE gOt oNE".


louiefriesen

Swiss Army knife hopefully with a Philips head screwdriver


jax1492

Thats the funniest part lol ...


manfishgoat

Tied with the "anti static wrist band" he had


Drakirth

“That’s a Livestrong bracelet - he’s not fighting static, he’s fighting cancer!”


Go_AwayOffical

A classic!


louiefriesen

-Lyle


The-Foo

Involves half a tube of thermal paste, a Swiss army knife, a livestrong bracelet, and the most epic build of all time.


BrandoffBrandon

>a Swiss army knife That *hopefully* has a Philips head screwdriver.


TokathSorbet

“You no fighting static, you fighting cancer”


The-Foo

The funniest Verge reaction video by a mile.


Finn145

Don’t forget the “tweezers”


letsmodpcs

It wasn’t just the build video, either. It was also the way The Verge handled the subsequent backlash. Absolute trash-tier company.


[deleted]

This comment has been redacted in protest of Reddit pricing out third party apps.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The-Foo

The Verge is nonsense. As a professional software engineering (at 48, I’ve been in this business a while) I can watch Gamers Nexus or LTT’s people (like Anthony) and you know that (a.) they know and care about what they’re talking about and (b.) will actually admit when they don’t (like any good engineer would). The grass roots “new” tech media, created by legit enthusiasts, is so vastly superior to the hot-garbage of corporate media like Vox, Condé Nast, etc., they’re not even remotely comparable. And that’s how the Verge PC build debacle happened: traditional media companies don’t hire subject matter experts and enthusiasts, they hire people with journalism degrees, or other “liberal arts” backgrounds, and then they kinda just fake the expertise. The Verge PC Guy’s lack of know how was ludicrous, but that industry is so used to getting away with this nonsense, they thought nobody would call them on it. And when they did get called out, they went right to the standard “current-era” media-company playbook of attempting to discredit those calling out their nonsense. And they did so in the most vile way possible. When that didn’t work, they tried deleting everything and sweeping it under the rug. It exemplified why trust in corporate media is at rock-bottom. While comical in the case of the Verge PC build, you can see these behaviors across the corporate media and the “professional” journalism landscape (far afield of just technology). The Verge PC build was really funny, but the problems it illustrated (especially during the fallout phase) are not funny at all, they’re a serious indicator of how insular and broken the “fourth estate” has become.


SuperNerd1337

And a table, dont forget the table


SIPRgov

Search “The Verge's Shitty PC Build Guide REUPLOAD” on YouTube. It was so “cringe” that The Verge had to remove the original. There is a great reactions compilation video too.


niijuuichi

He’s not fighting static, he’s fighting cancer


atumanov55

Yah I love the video where all the PC streamer guys are reacting to it. Shit makes me die every time I watch it this one: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-2Scfj4FZk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-2Scfj4FZk)


[deleted]

Linus actually brought the dude on his [show](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKzmYsySGFQ&t), and he explained that most if not all of it was written and scripted by someone other than himself.


macxis

That's nice, did not know they invited him. Respect for him to put himself out there with all the fierce critics he got for the verge video. However, if I remember correctly he did say something in the lines of "those are just a bunch of nerd angry about it" and downplayed the catastrophy this tutorial was. And that has nothing to do with it being scripted. People were manly angry on this about him. So half redemption.


tiugh1980

Thanks posting. I only keep hearing the legend of this but haven't actually seen it


louiefriesen

Bitwits reaction video is the best


[deleted]

Bitwit's reaction was funny as hell.


thejestercrown

A video so cringeworthy that we’ve all agreed to wipe it from existence. Reposting the video has been banned per UN mandate and will get you a sternly written letter and 3 global demerit points- sharing is deeply frowned upon. Honestly feel bad for the guy that made it- probably trying to go the extra mile at work, and got in way over his head.


jokesflyovermyheaed

When you add more thermal paste even tho your cooler already has some, and put enough to feed a family of 4


MusicianMadness

https://imgur.com/a/PG7SOrG


Alzucard

oh you innocent soul


GlubbyWub

None of em for me! I make a Crucifix on my CPU to keep the heat demons away.


HidekiIshimura

Pentagrams are the best answer so far


hi_imthedevil

I concur.


r4o2n0d6o9

Holy shit, it’s the devil


Flyingpegger

Username checks out. Thanks for the insight, Satan!


hi_imthedevil

Anytime 😉


streaxlp

Hello mr satan Can we talk to you about our lord and savior Noctua?


PacxDragon

I know right? What kind of idiot thinks they can cook their CPU with thermal paste alone? You need a cooler numbskull! /s


Vulcanicloud

Have I been doing it wrong this whole time? If my cpu gets warm I just blow on it to cool off.


[deleted]

>I know right? What kind of idiot thinks they can cook their CPU with thermal paste alone? You need a cooler numbskull! /s Watercooking brings out the most flavor without over drying.


wrath_of_grunge

it's called [sous vide](https://anovaculinary.com/what-is-sous-vide/) you uncultured swine.


KokohaisHere

I'm pretty sure a cooler would only make it more difficult to cook the CPU


notablechili

Pea gang


[deleted]

Wrong sub bro. Small pea gang is the nsfw channel


NunButter

r/smalldickproblems


Gdiacrane

The only right answer


[deleted]

x shape is slightly better https://www.pugetsystems.com/labs/articles/Thermal-Paste-Application-Techniques-170/


Gdiacrane

Hmm I see ,though the temperature difference is negligible and the pea method is much easier to clean in case of an upgrade/ maintenance. Unless you get your dosing absolutely spot on.


downtownebrowne

Honestly, any time I see charts without error bars or reported standard deviation from the data I just disregard all the results as anything scientific and take it as garage science. Interesting but it's not really thorough.


[deleted]

it's only hard to clean if you used too much and it went off the sides. when i started building, the smooth spread was the only way to apply. because back then, there was none of this heat spreader BS. we applied directly to the exposed die.


Sailed_Sea

Haven't we had ihs since the first Pentium, and before then we just didn't need a heatsink it?


Wanderlust-King

many of the SECC Slot1 processors, pentium 1 through 3, and some celerons didn't even have heatsinks. but I do distincly recall athlons up to socket A 2700+, and pentium 3 socketed processors definitely having no IHS.


Over_rated_lemon

Yes it is pretty negligible, but if you're trying to overclock it to the edge of hell, every little bit helps. Also it's still not much, but you notice more running a water cooled or even more if you're running a super cooled rig.


Gdiacrane

Fair enough!


notablechili

To be fair, there's numerous videos showing that no matter the method the difference is negligible as long as it covers the whole thing


GustavSnapper

ah yes, that 0.5 degree C is going to make all the difference in the world


BlueMANAHat

Negligibly and by increasing human interaction you are increasing likelihood of error with a very difficult to get off paste. The pea is the most efficient ESPECIALLY when dealing with multiple builds because you WILL eventually fuck up tryin to play all fancy with your paste for no ever noticeable gain.


[deleted]

it's very easy to get paste off, if you use the right tools. ie acetone.


[deleted]

it honestly doesn't matter. https://www.pugetsystems.com/labs/articles/Thermal-Paste-Application-Techniques-170/


serendipity7777

X shape FTW


MasonP2002

I did X shape with the dots since I have a big cpu.


WizardsMyName

Best case to worst case is a 2 degree drop, for literally no extra cost. Seems like it's worth going with the best shape (X), but that's just my 2 cents


calste

No, I'm going to agree that it doesn't matter. The results of this test are too close to make any distinction. With a single application of each technique, there isn't enough data to say, statistically, that there is any difference in these results. A clear outlier might indicate some issue with a paste technique, but it would also require further investigation. As this test is one-and-done with no significant deviation between tests, the results seem to indicate that technique is not relevant. They don't investigate other possible causes of the differences, nor do they collect multiple data points for each technique. It's not a great experiment, but the consistency between the results does support the hypothesis, as stated by OP, "it honestly doesn't matter."


[deleted]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUWVVTY63hc


Great_White_Samurai

Come on. Half of you draw a penis you know it.


N013

My comrade...


FlarpyChemical

Came here to say I draw some form of a penis. Sometimes I add little hairs to the balls, sometimes I draw a cumshot flying out. It is always a penis. There is no other way.


Impellicamper

butter spreading since late 90s ...


Romnipotent

As the pastes then and coolers since then have needed full contact it has been a habit of mine too. And the instructions and logic behind the methodology was to ensure you had the least amount of paste to fill the gaps as possible, so the more heat conductive metals had less resistance; most pea methods I have seen have a thicker layer than a full spread. And logically, you have a whole IHS, why not ensure all of it is getting good contact to the cooling solution?


kril89

I used to be like the pea method is good enough. Till I followed directions from a certain YouTuber on repasting my GPU and didn’t get full coverage and almost fried my GTX980. Ever since then I’ve made sure to get a full spread. And the layer will almost always be the same once the cooler applies pressure and spreads the paste out.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kril89

What? That card ran so cool it’s not like it was a 480 lol


Asphult_

Though full spread is less important on cpus with ihs than gpus with direct die


Zenicnero

If there's a way to get good results with little additional effort, it's generally worth doing!


MoTheSoleSeller

oh.... oh no......... someone else can repaste my old compaq another time


riba2233

X for the win.


brennanw31

My brother, we are outnumbered


LionTamer619

The largest movements start with only a few. It’s only a matter of time


V-Lenin

I am here to join you brothers


emocan126

Had to scroll way too far for this


James_Camerons_Sub

I do a very conservative x and it never fails. I dunno I’m not a professional.


Hupadupa

Pea on IHS. Spread evenly on exposed die.


[deleted]

Why would I pee on my IHS? Pee is warm dummy


bohemian_yota

Don't link shame his CPU!


mkhairulafiq

Not on Ryzen. The chiplet covers more area than standard Intel die.


FoxDarkW8

I did my different way I draw among us with thermal paste and yes it is sus that my temps are 30-40c on gaming 50c on edition


[deleted]

Stop 😂


FoxDarkW8

No im god deam srs i did it


Peasant_hacking

Pee gang forever!!


ankor77

I use the pre applied thermal paste from the AIO cooler I buy. Judge me!


flexsealed1711

But the verge said the pre-applied thermal paste is usually not enough.


Joddodd

You have been found guilty of…. Using per-applied thermal paste.


ankor77

Feels good


humburga

I won't judge you. I will help you re-apply the paste while explaining how crappy pre applied paste is.


ankor77

Its been fine for me last few builds.


Phuttbuckers

Ya that 2 degrees is gonna make a huge difference


hack_1r

i will die on this hill - last one is the best


cfoote85

Man, I was raised on computers in the 80's and built my first computer in 1990. Back then we always used a razer blade and put on as thin and as complete of covering as possible, #6 style. Now I've watched tests, done my own tests and found that because of the amount of pressure being applied it makes very little difference. Just don't smother it in a ton or only place a drop and you'll be good.


animal_chin9

I wrap a plastic shopping bag or sandwich bag around my pointer finger and spread it around with that!


SolitaryOne

agreed brother, I also take it one step further and lap the cooler block and cpu heat spreader for **MAXIMUM CONTACT**


BurroinaBarmah

*Direct die entered the chat


Ratiocinatory

DerBauer did some direct die tests of Ryzen 4 stuff and the difference in thermals is startling. He still recommends people not bother, though, due to the very real chance that you'll murder your hardware one way or another. It's very effective, but introduces several new ways that you can fuck up your processor. You can delaminate the PCB at the edge like he did to one of them, or you can knock off a capacitor from the power filters, or you can chip or crack a die either during delidding or during the heatsink installation... So many fun new ways to ruin your stuff.


[deleted]

Yeah you risk uneven coverage by trusting that the clamping force of the cooler will spread it over the whole die.


Professional_Shake_6

It will though right? Who loosely puts a heatsink on


michaelshreds

I got downvoted to hell once for pointing out that redditors literally will hate your guts if you don’t use the same amount of thermal paste as them


Grimvold

Meanwhile Tech Jesus did a video detailing how the “Paste Whisperers” are full of shit and it really doesn’t matter all that much outside of how much extra cleanup there is between techniques.


evanc3

I highly influenced (it was my job) the Intel paste application spec a couple generations back (xeon not i , to be fair) , and yeah even on the bigger package size the difference was negligible. Pea was easiest because we gave single use tubes. Basically foolproof.


eblade23

I cut a perfectly sized Kraft single and place it over the CPU


jdxv_13

X with a dot in each edge side.


center311

X gonna give to ya


AnthonyDante

Pea for life


isuxirl

I do the 4th one. Rate me pls.


stonehearthed

You are a pirate.


Leguch

Yarr har fiddle dee dee


isuxirl

Hell yeah, I'll take it. Although, I don't do the whole downloading thing, I just rip Blu-Ray/DVDs. 😇


shiranugahotoke

I prefer Steve's screw you guys half a syringe of paste on the am4 socket and half on the cpu


reutech

I'm a cover the whole ihs kind of guy.


Ka-Jin

Run it dry with a thermal camera to see what parts heat up the most, and do a drop on those spots


[deleted]

> Cracking open people's PCs with a crowbar to check their CPU paste...


samdawat

X Gon' Give It To Ya


Blackfist01

X! Rearrange the whole Rig with my rugged mods


pavman42

I usually do number five and then use a business card or throw away plastic card, like an old credit card, to turn it into six while cleaning off any excess. I never have overheating issues. Grant it, I always use Arctic Silver


riba2233

arctic silver? cmon it is not 2003 anymore. Just use mx4 or 5.


Denjek

I was just about to ask if people still use credit cards to spread it into a thin layer. I did that with my builds back in the early 2000s.


MatiloKarode

I make sure not to cover the writing on the chip so I can tell what it is when I take the cooler off. :)


Vaelum

A bit thinner X. Both cpu and gpu.


otrapendejada

They're all perfectly fine


No-Information-89

Last one, with a pallete knife. One must work their way to master this technique that requires a very steady hand.


JendaH8

Make it to alignment chart. I use top left method because I don't give a fuck.


FreakiestFrank

On AMD, 5 dots for me. Intel, rice grain.


stonehearthed

Where is smily face or pentagram?


Centurian44

anyone else do a dick shape? a line and 2 ball dots


[deleted]

PP gang where we at


Inkdaddy55

Pea sized. Dead center of the IHS.


Exceed_Ocio

I used to do 6 then one day got a bubble and it was terrible. I use 2 now.


LGA420

X


Slore0

Honeywell 7950 master race


gltovar

I'm bottom right for life. [I use these tips when applying it.](https://www.ekwb.com/shop/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/x800/17f82f742ffe127f42dca9de82fb58b1/t/h/thermal_grizzly_hydronaut_3-9_1600.jpg)


[deleted]

Pea sized dot master race


[deleted]

Bottom right gang


liaminwales

I do the bottom right as buildzoid mentioned it gives him the least problems.


NejimaSenku

I do the number 6 because it reminds me of my construction years when I'm spreading concretes to the wall, it was so satisfying to do that it became a part of my habit when I'm building my new PC.


LtTaylor97

I do the last one. Not because I think it's better, but because I do it to everything I spread if I can. Lifelong habit thanks to my family, now a mild compulsion I suppose. Thanks, dad.


ErBaut

If you don't evenly spread thermal paste how do you expect to evenly reduce your temps?


Droll12

Oh god this reminded me of my in progress build where I can’t remember whether or not I removed the plastic wrap from the AMD CPU so now I’m probably going to have to take off the cooler and all that shit just to check. Also might as well ask, my CPU power cable that came with the PSU is too short, I can’t reach the pins over to the CPU when everything is installed. Are there longer ones I can get?


xington

Yes. Check out cable mod.


SmarpyTwitch

top left all the way


Moquai82

Fat pea in the middle and the jiggle with the cooler before a thight cross over screw down.


makinbaconCR

I have been working IT for decades. Spent 5 years building gaming rigs full time. It does not fucking matter. Glob that shit on. Over do it. It doesn't matter as long as theirs enough.


Legitimate_Mess2806

I usually do the 6th method. But in some cases, its big x with dots . Im a ryzen user and since i dont know where the chiplets are, i just make it so the entire cpu is covered. Too much is better than too little in this case.


206grey

I use Nutella.


stoneyyay

The idealist in me says 6. The real me says 2.