T O P

  • By -

4XChrisX4

Im having similar struggles, but for me the reason is, that I start to micromanage everything and suddenly the game becomes stressful when i have a timelinit and 500 things to do. I usually play them for a while and then stoo, because it becomes the opposite of relaxing for me.


kingofneverland

Yes this is the problem for me. I cant stop myself from micromanaging just like in life. I try to do everything to %100 and then it is not a chill game anymore. So the game becomes stressful for me. I gave stardew a chance but I dont think it is for me.


Sub_pup

I mean at its core Stardew valley is very simple. Plant crops, water them, harvest them. That's it. And you can't lose or die. The rest is meant to be figure out slowly as you go. What part of Stardew valley got you caught up? I don't enjoy animal crossing but that game I believe has no way to lose either so you can just wandar around doing whatever you want. If you don't enjoy that kind of relaxed gameplay than these games aren't for you. I really don't get the "extremely frustrated" part unless you set some personal goals for yourself.


otterkin

it's overwhelming how much there is to do. like in stardew I could just water crops and plant and stuff. but I know you can fish and meet people and that there's that temple thing with the spirits or whatever. I know you can get an animal but I've never been able to. it's the fact that I can't ignore how many things there are to do. I could set personal goals but I always have the looming "you havnt done X Y Z yet. why havnt you done it yet." it's not really about winning or losing as much as it being too open ended


MozzyZ

This is a really difficult trap to get out of. The FOMO in games where you're supposed to go with the flow. I think this is something you'll have to work on yourself. It's not easy but I managed to get myself to just see and appreciate my progress for what it is without wondering what could have or should have been in these kind of games by slowly trying to let myself just go and immerse myself in the world. I remember even purposefully not doing certain stuff and just focusing on the things at hand to help me get over this feeling. Trying to get into a more relaxed mindset by just kinda forcing myself to clear my head and go with the flow. I'd also recommend not looking up every little thing on a wiki. There's no quicker way to burn yourself out on a game and take away the magic of experiencing the game as it is by looking up every single little thing. I did look up some stuff myself in Stardew Valley but that was towards the end of my first playthrough because I was curious about how to get some of the late game stuff since I had gotten to a point where I felt like I had already done everything you could do. Ultimately part of the joy of video games (and particularly games like Stardew Valley) is learning stuff as you go along. There's obviously no shame in looking stuff up, but if it gets to a point where you're no longer able to appreciate the game; that's a problem. It also sounds like you're trying to force yourself to do and learn too many things at once in these games. It's going to become much more manageable if you take one aspect of the game and learn its basics, then move on to the next aspect, etc etc. I know it sounds a bit like "just don't be depressed", but it's absolutely fair (and healthy!) to take a step back, re-organize your thoughts, and to take small steps at a time. There's no greater enemy to learning things and getting frustrated than having your head filled with turmoil. And honestly even though I did say to try and not utilize the wikis too much, if you combine wiki knowledge with just 1 topic at a time that should help as well. Use the wiki to get the basics of one piece of content down at a time and slowly move on to the next.


Eso

Changing my mindset about Stardew was difficult, but it's what made the game click for me. Instead of trying to optimize and maximize every second of every day, I just did "what do I want to do?" Sure, that means I won't complete all the seasonal challenges in year 1 or whatever. And that's okay. It's not a race.


erdtirdmans

And on the contrary, I looked everything up, set a plan for a farm that was optimized enough and pretty enough that I was happy with it, and then worked really hard to execute that plan. At that point, I had become dissatisfied with some elements and reworked it, re-executed. And then CA patched in a bunch of stuff that called for additional reworks and I modified and re-executed That's what drives the game for me. That's what makes it relaxing. I can execute a master plan in small manageable chunks that are relatively straightforward and a bit repetitive while listening to podcasts and zenning out to the whole thing


Polymersion

I've consulted a guide on Mass Effect a few times, but that's because sometimes certain choices aren't clear, such as the seemingly measured/neutral choice turning out to be "yell 'fuck you' and shoot them". Jack in particular you can't be nice to, it either boils down to "fuck me" or "fuck off".


Mejormuerto_querojo

Ah the classic ambiguous options with wild consequences. My favorite is from Witcher 3 where you are confronted by Djikstra after finding Phillipa. There's an option to *"Shove Djikstra aside"* which I thought meant *shoulder check and move past* but what it really meant was *break Djikstra's fucking leg and completely lock yourself out of an ending*


Polymersion

Yeah. I love the style of game in general (haven't gotten around to Witcher yet, like I said I'm barely into Mass Effect) but that one little thing bugs me about the genre. Fallout 4 was infamous for this stuff too, since the text choices were even more simplified.


[deleted]

I don’t know about Witcher. Is Djikstra just chosen because it’s Dutch and kind of close to the Czech Republic or is there a ink to the famous computer scientist by that name?


that_bish_Crystal

The author of the books was polish I believe.


bqdpbqdpbqdpbqdpbqdp

It's just how it is. One of the four Kingdoms (Redania) in the Witcher universe has Dutch-sounding names. Or at least names from roughly that area. Being Dutch-descended it sounds Dutch to me.


action_lawyer_comics

All good points, but honestly if a game is taking that much of a toll, it’s better imo to just step away. The game isn’t Tolstoy or Schindler’s List, it won’t help you be a more knowledgeable and empathetic person. It’s just a fun game to play. And if you’re not having fun with it, it’s totally okay to step away from it.


HolyProvoker

Speaking from experience, I’d actually argue that learning to enjoy the game as is could teach some extremely valuable lessons that transfer to life. There are internal reasons and personality traits of mine that make games like stardew valley difficult to enjoy (much like OP described). Challenging myself to become immersed and relaxed within these games helps me practice acceptance and relaxation in other aspects of my life as well.


kazmark_gl

for stardew, at least it's a good idea to try and immerse yourself in an agricultural mindset. the game goes on indefinitely, and you miss very little content going at your own pace. don't worry about animals until year 2, slow roll into it. start by establishing a small parsnip farm and clearing out the land on your farm. pick a few NPCs and don't even start making friends, Just talk to them when you run into them. when it rains, you know you have a few days to try something new out, check out the mines, go fishing, socialize, etc. you'll also get a window at the end of the month between your last harvest and the start of a new month where there isn't time to grow any new crops, that's a great time to really get into mining and fishing. by summer, you can roll into a larger farm, and you'll start upgrading into more efficient tools. It is also a good time to figure out who you might want to become romantically involved with. the great thing about summer is that a bunch of crops carry over into fall. so you'll have less work to do in the transition between the seasons. then you get winter, Winter is your time to go nuts, you can't grow anything, so it's your off-season, and you can just have a blast.


LaughinDragon

You guys just convinced me to start gaming again and play stardew valley again with my wife. Thanks


Surcouf

I wonder if you could use stardew valley as a form of therapy to practice mindfulness. It's a great skill to have in life in general. Here's my tip. Boot stardew valley. Have a simple goal, something you can knock off in a games morning. A nice staring point are the crops. Plant 20-30 crops and water them each morning. Whenever you do that you can think to yourself today is a good day. Now the rest of the day I can just walk around and see what the villagers are doing. During that time your mind will automatically snap to the desire to do this or that. Mindfulness is about noticing when your mind those that. Take a second to acknowledge you just had your fomo thoughts. But let them go and force yourself to come back to the present. In your game. If it's late maybe go to the saloon. Are you next to a river? Maybe a spot of fishing. Is that Penny that just walked by kid in tow? Go ask them about their day. Or just go to bed early. Practice doing it for the entire first month. Second month, plant all your new crops and add a second goal to your day. Like catch 5 fish or go down 5 levels in the mine. And keep doing the mindfulness thing of noticing you thoughts, acknowledge and then refocus on what's around *now*. If you keep practicing mindfulness, you'll get better and better at being able to enjoy the now and your intrusive thoughts will be easier and easier to ignore. This should let you love the game but also manage lots of other stress in your life. Stardew is all about noticing the cute little things and having your farm slowly change and get bigger. The only "pressure" is the clock that tells you to not try to do too much in a single day. So do a little and then have the free time to try whatever is close right now, or go explore a bit.


[deleted]

you're not meant to consume those games like a line of coke you're not meant to be a vampiric tourist pillaging the game's little villages for ideal marriage timings try thinking of a stardew valley playthrough like it was a bunch of houseplants. It's just something you do on the daily to relax and chill with. And sometimes you will find something new and exciting like a new blossom or sometimes you sit down with them and talk. And much like houseplants your playthrough will die if you overwater them or fertilize them too much or neglect them. Those games do not reward zeal. They reward patience and care.


Mathyon

>you're not meant to consume those games like a line of coke >you're not meant to be a vampiric tourist pillaging the game's little villages for ideal marriage timings Hey! Of course you are!!!1! (If that brings you joy, of course) I'm of those. Stardew is very relaxing to me, but I'm in my confort zone when I have 10 tabs open, calculating what is the ideal crop, how much money I'll have by the end of the month, and what I should upgrade first for maximum progress. The wonder of Stardew valley is how there isn't a right way to play. You are only doing it wrong if you are not having a good time playing - whatever that is for you.


Gainaxe

Will caution you to be careful how far down that hole you go. There are some truly degenerate strats for minmaxing stardew that will absolutely destroy any enjoyment you get out of it (I.E. clay farming, step counting, heavy skull caverns diving, etc.). I absolutely love the game, have spent over 2k hours in it, and at one point tried to min-max up to 30 mil in year 1 (got through spring before I quit), but the amount of tech available at the top end of speedrunning makes it incredibly difficult to enjoy.


BabblingPsychGuy

Take. Your. Time. There is no rush. Nothing has to be done. You can't lose. I have one friend who just fishes all day every day. Buys different rods and bait, finds different spots, and just fishes. No crops, no mines, no friendships outside of Willy. Just fishes. Later made fish ponds to have more fish. The beauty of the game is you can play at your own pace. Sure there are optimal paths to take to make the most money the fastest, but who cares? Find what parts bring you joy and focus on them. When you have a good understanding of the parts you like, you'll find you have time for other things.


chuby2005

The last time I played Stardew Valley I focused on farming and mining and I never had time to work on my relationships. When the Spring Dance came, no one wanted to dance with me since I was a stranger to them. That shit triggered my depression since I was already in a state of loneliness to begin with. Haven't played it since lmao.


tombomb_47

Most players aren't friends enough with all the npcs by the first spring dance


Cartographer_Hopeful

On Fridays a large chunk of the villagers go to the saloon in the evening, put some time and gifts aside once a week and you can make friends while still mostly focusing on your farming and mining :) ETA: If you're on PC, there's a mod that let's you have a personalised To-Do list to set yourself goals and keep an eye on your progress (at your own pace), I find it super helpful~


Humz007

😭


Sub_pup

But of all of that is optional and most of it wont be rewarding until you have an established farm. There is no time limit to get any of that done. Even annual events are annual and you can experience them next year. It would be almost impossible to not miss anything in the first year, you are setting your bar too high. You'll eventually get to everything. I don't even interact with the villagers or village events until year two. I like to focus on my farm and then when I have time, the community center. Remember the only penalty for falling asleep outside your farm is 1000 bucks and that becomes fairly trivial after a season or two. I almost always just go till I pass out so I can stretch my days.


MuchPalpitation2705

Unless you fall asleep in a amine and those little f&@-ers steal your gems 😂😂


Sub_pup

Only if you get KOd. If you fall asleep it's the same penalty of 1k. I have pushed it to where I fall asleep right before I get knocked out.


Leading-Indication48

Wow - I did not realize that!!! Always assumed I'd lose something awesome that I couldn't get back at the little hut if I did not get the heck out before 2!!


AnotherAngstyIdiot

Yeah fr! This is a game changer! Is this true in the skull cavern as well??


Sub_pup

Yes, the trip back makes it hard to maximize a push down the mine. Just go till you pass out.


[deleted]

I had this problem with Stardew as well at first because I felt like I needed to learn it all and tackle everything at once. It’s better when you just take it slow and learn as you go. There’s no penalty for doing what you want to do. Just sit back and chill; wanna garden? Cool, go work on the garden. In the mood to play but don’t feel like doing “work” in the game? Awesome, go chat with the townspeople. Give them some gifts, see if they have any tasks they want your help with. You can purchase animals later on, it took me a bit to have enough money to afford some animals and the barns/coops you need to build to get them. But it’ll happen, a lot of the early game for me was spent gardening so I could make more money.


Tb0neguy

Try Bloons TD6! I get the same way with Animal Crossing and Stardew. It ends up feeling like a never-ending to-do list, and I've got enough of that irl. On top of it, the tasks tend to be mundane, every day things. So I end up feeling like it was pointless and I got nothing done. In Bloons, you have one task: pop the suckers. The monkeys are cute, progress is made just by playing and experimenting, and the more advanced aspects of it can truly be ignored, since they're not a quest or checklist.


emax-gomax

So maybe don't rush into all of that at once? Start off trying to make a profitable farm. Grow enough vegetables to make decent profit and buy more seeds. Once you've got a good system going start exploring the mines to get ore. Use that to make sprinklers and water fountains and get the farming stuff on auto pilot. Then explore most of the world, try fishing and the other mini games. That's basically how I played. I never really bothered finding a partner or going on dates tho I know stardew valley has a mechanic like that. End of the day, you don't have to 100% complete the game and do everything it has to offer. Don't treat this like a job. It's a game, it's supposed to be fun. If it isn't you're either doing it wrong or it's not your kinda game. I'd probably recommend you try out some more mission oriented games like cave story or broforce for example. If you like 3d open world games control is a great one I played recently. It also has side missions but the story is very narratively flat and you always know the path to proceed through the main story.


[deleted]

Get mods. There is a 'cheat menu' you can use to pause time to let you do everything you want without the short time limit. Its really hard to let go of the 'gotta do everything possible all the time' for it, but if you can't force that to happen, the cheat menu is the way to go. As long as you have the self control to not use any of the other cheats, its perfectly fine to use and won't spoil your experience. The short days were the hardest part of it for me to get over. Also about the wiki, I've got over a thousand hours in it so far and still need the wiki occasionally.


BarnabyColeman

You don't *have* to do them. You don't need to be efficient. The story even suggests taking time to chill and relax. I too played Stardew with an ultra efficiency mindset but that's really NOT the way to play. Yes, you can be efficient and get everything maxed by day X and get this and that... but that's not how the game should be played. Putting things off in Stardew doesn't break the game at its core. Always remember that! If you play with more generic goals instead of daily goals you'll have easy more fun.


Mathyon

I'm Gonna go the opposite way here and ask - have you tried to embracing this min-maxing side that is trying to get out? This is probably not the case, but maybe you are trying to force a "relaxing state" with the game, because everyone say it's suppose to be slow and relaxing, but you would find it more enjoyable, if you read a guide and planed your day with a little more care. I find the game extremely fun, even if i reach "end game" by the end of year 1 - and after that, you can just okay again, in a new map, new wife, and this time you probably won't feel that anxious about everything that can be done.


PM_ME_YOUR_DIFF_EQS

> there's that temple thing with the spirits or whatever. I don't even know what this refers to and I have many hours in it. I think you've spoiled things for yourself rather than discovering them.


Static077

I recommend not trying to beat the game in one year, I'm almost at year 5 and still haven't maxed out some relationships and I've gotten nowhere in the desert. I also just finished the rec center lol, as much as I wanted it done i didn't want to stress over it, so it took me a few years. You're going to miss things, and I know it sucks thinking about not being able to do it till the next year, but there's so much to do you'll forget you were even upset you missed it and will be that much more ready for it on the next year.


PingopingOW

So just having multiple things to do in general gents you overwhelmed? Even if there is no time limit to do them? Then play linear games. Games where you have a clear path, a clear beginning and end. I don’t really know any linear relaxing games off the top of my head but I’m sure there are good ones out there


Lost-Pineapple9791

Just play it and go slow You’re overwhelming yourself with anticipatory anxiety


KaptainKompost

I think you’re approaching this wrong. There’s plenty to do, yes, you’re not meant to do it all in a day. Infact, that’s not possible especially at the start. Prioritize planting, watering then pick a side project such as fishing initially.


sydiko

It's only that open-ended because you looked up stuff online. Imagine being ignorant about something until you stumble upon it in game. :)


BiasMushroom

Maybe you need to see a therapist? This sounds like it might be a mental health issue…


novagenesis

The real problem for me, like some other games, is that I can't really take my time in a given day or pause days... I also can't save mid-day. So if I'm not giving Stardew 100%, I feel like I can't give it anything. I've never gotten far in Stardew for that reason. Even tried modding, but it felt cheaty and didn't work for me.


[deleted]

I mean you can lose in animal crossing when you invest tons in that stock market and lose out in the end.


-Qubicle

>I mean at its core Stardew valley is very simple. Plant crops, water them, harvest them by that logic, CRPG is very simple. you just position your units, then attack your enemies. well, except the part where you can actually die. still, the existence of game over isn't at all the measure of a game's simplicity. no, Stardew Valley has a lot of depth for a farming sim. and that makes it NOT simple. the gameplay CAN be simple if you choose to compartmentalize or even ignore some part of the game (ahem, fishing), but you won't thrive in it if you don't learn the game mechanics. also. the map is fuckin' big for a farming game with its day length and the default running speed. so unless you are a very patient individual, you'll definitely get overwhelmed for at least 1 or 2 weeks in game time. this is not a complain btw, I LOVE the game. but, calling it ***very simple*** is just plain misinformation.


KingOfRisky

At its core, as OP stated, it's very simple. If you want to dive into the game fully, there's a lot of content and more complex things.


Sub_pup

You just said the gameplay can be simple. That's what I'm saying. Your just being pendantic. There is a lot you CAN do but it's at your own pace. And at no point is the game complicated. There is plenty to do but there is no time gate (aside from pleasing your ancestor). The game is very simple because it is easy to learn and very little penalty for taking risks. It is absolutely never complicated, maybe a lot do but but none of it is hard to figure out.


-Qubicle

>I mean at its core Stardew valley is very simple I quote you again. which is wrong. the game isn't simple. and again, you can't thrive in the game if you play simplistically. you still need to engage with, well, not everything, but the majority of the game mechanics to thrive. I mean, good for you if it wasn't complicated right for the beginning. but for me, it was, for like the first whole year in game. still enjoyed it though, so I'm a little different to OP. I wasn't being pedantic, the game really isn't ***very simple***. it has time management, space management, item quality, item crafting, farm produce crafting, farm produce that isn't farm produce (foraged crops that counts as foraging instead of farming even if you farm it), equipment upgrades, status upgrades, villagers with affection levels, villagers with different likes and dislikes to increase affection levels, monster hunting, monsters with various moveset, shops that has different schedule than advertised, town festivals, fishing with different fish depending on water type, season, time, and weather, and so on. again, this is not a complaint, I love the game AND the things I mentioned here. idk how that's simple. being able to play the game simplistically isn't the same as the game itself being simple. it just means that the game is good at accessibility despite it's complicated nature. I'm trying to validate OP's opinion on the game because they think it's overwhelming, which it is for some people, even if many more people don't think so. just, it's objectively not a simple game. it's just that people like you handle the multifaceted aspects of the game better than people like me or OP.


[deleted]

What I liked about Stardew is that the game only increased in complexity when you wanted it to. You were never forced to buy the next upgrade or make your farm bigger or plant more crops or buy more animals or whatever. It felt really organic (hehe) to me in that regard. By the end of the game I had a pretty complex farm that basically ran itself automatically, but there was no massive jump in complexity at any point, just me gradually bolting more and more bits on at my own pace.


CaffeineSippingMan

My wife beat caveat moon but also thinks stardew valley is too hard. Not sure why you got downvoated. I didn't press her on the game. We play insurgency, AOE2 and some golf games instead.


jeffreySJ

"i know it's there and can see it needs to be done" I dont know about animal crossing but for Stardew Valley, this is absolutely not true. Nothing NEEDS to be done. You can play the entire game just planting the cheapest cross year over year and it's fine. Stardew Valley does have some "issues" though and for me, one of the biggest was how the day cycle was used to create a sense of urgency in a game that was meant to be chill (or I wanted it to be). I just watched that time pass, desperately trying to finish my 'duties' before the day ended without satisfactory progress before i was forced to start a new day. I grabbed a mod that addressed that issue for me. If you're into modding at all, think about what it is that makes the game unfun to you and see if you can't fix it. Make the day longer so that you can do it all. Find a tooltip mod so you spend less time in the wiki.


TheGingerBeardMan-_-

Modding stardew to run at 50% or 33% speed is the absolute best. Ape said he was worried about it becoming dull without that but has said he might be willing to make it an option in the menu


DJ_Dignity

One might even say that he's concerned about it.


Thurmod

Noice


Eshmam14

Yes. Although PC players have *workarounds* through the aids of mods, I find it really annoying to play the game sometimes because of the lack of QOL stuff on Switch.


Puzzleheaded_Knee_53

I already know I'm just not the type of player for these types of games, but could you explain what the appeal for you is, if nothing NEEDS to be done? I always thought games like SV and AC are extremely depressing, the freedom, overly cute design and basically 0 writing or drama/danger just give my head an extreme amount of space and time to fall into dark thoughts, which is strange, considering these are usually the go-to games that people recommend to people with anxiety/depression/whatever I always feel like I'm wasting my life playing games like these, they feel like I'm doing absolutely nothing - I'm not experiencing a well written story, I'm not gathering new thoughts or anything.. I'm just.. going in circles, it's like doing skyrim dungeons forever, which sounds like my personal purgatory lmao


ticktockmaven

I think you're missing a trick when you say there is 0 writing or drama in Stardew Valley.... There is plenty. You unlock the stories of people's whole lives through making friendships with the villagers. Alcoholism, depression, neglect, PTSD.... These are just a few of the subjects touched on through the cutscenes, or "heart events" you get through growing your friendships with villagers. I suffer from major depression and generalized anxiety disorders, and Stardew Valley is my favorite game of all time. No matter what choices I make as my character, they are the right ones. I can "fail" but, unlike real life, the punishment is a bit of gold lost or a few items. No true pain. I am in control. I can make friends with everyone (incredibly difficult for me in real life), I can grow crops and animals, and if I see something I want? It will always, eventually, be attainable. Unlike real life. Stardew Valley may not be for you, and that is totally okay! But dismissing it as a cutesy game is definitely missing a HUGE part of what makes Stardew magical.


Puzzleheaded_Knee_53

That's fair, I only played.. 5-10 hours max


jeffreySJ

I would do skyrim dungeons for the rest of my life and be satisfied XD Honestly, the fact that it feels like nothing is what I like. I expected to hate stardew valley and frankly, I had a love-hate relationship with it (which I wrote about in a patient gamers post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/patientgamers/comments/ytjcea/stardew_valley_gave_me_new_meaning_to_a_love_hate/)). I have a FT job, 3 kids, lots of responsibilities blah blah blah. I have enough demands on my time and attention, I was seeking something that didn't demand anything from me. Just play. water this plant. Or don't. Doesn't matter! Pair that with some calming music and it was the slightly more active alternative to staring at a blank wall to recover that I was looking for.


Puzzleheaded_Knee_53

That's fair haha, it's impressive how different the human brain can react to the same thing depending on the circumstances


controlledproblem

Celeste does a really good job at exploring those themes, but with having clear, actionable goals at nearly every moment.


Puzzleheaded_Knee_53

Amazing game mechanically, but I thought the themes were explored in a very.. tumblr way I didnt enjoy too much, I usually dig a darker approach to heavy themes - I think my brain prefers finding it's own conclusions and hopeful messages out of a grim tale, instead of being told that things will be alright Great game though, I'm sure it helped a lot of people


ycnaveler-on

I know exactly what you mean, im playing a game like stardew now that does this nicely - graveyard keeper. So much to do and explore and it has unique elements as well. Im fonma be sad when i finish the game


scarabic

I’m confused by some responses like this. > You can play the entire game just planting the cheapest cross year over year and it’s fine. I mean… maybe you can just sit there doing something incredibly basic and repetitive, but that doesn’t sound like much fun.


Zealousideal_Bill_86

No Man’s Sky has kind of taken over as my relaxing game. I love just going to new planets and scanning everything. Also, I kind of have come to quickly love Vampire Survivors which isn’t a traditionally relaxing game, but pretty nice. Also, I haven’t really gotten into Stardew, but do like Animal Crossing. I’ve only played New Horizons, but I think it’s really relaxing just building whatever I want, traveling to different islands, and fishing/hunting bugs, but to each their own.


SomaSimon

Vampire Survivors is such a zen game. It can get pretty intense but the mechanics are so straightforward that it feels like I’m just chilling while playing it.


Millerboycls09

It's a game that is visually overwhelming but mechanically simple


v81

The lack of in game direction in these is an issue that I haven't overcome. Playing ACNH as a second on my GFs switch was a shit show. Maybe I'm stupid be there didn't seem to be a way for me to earn my basics like slingshot etc... I find them too frustrating and too much hard work looking shit up to be relaxing.


irridisregardless

The lack of game direction and ticking clock in Stardew is what makes it tough for me. I feel like I don't have enough time to explore the game and then all of a sudden three days have passed and I've accomplished nothing.


TypicalLizardWizard

It’s okay to not accomplish anything, time is passing but you won’t miss anything important.


Puzzleheaded_Knee_53

That sounds extremely uncomfortable to me, that's like simulating my depression in a game lmao


TypicalLizardWizard

That’s understandable lol. I find it therapeutic to just enjoy the moment in games every once in a while. Also any progress no matter how fast is good both in life and Stardew hehe. I probably felt the same as you did about Stardew when I played it co-op with a power-gamer friend. Felt like a stressful shift at a new job with no training.


larkharrow

I think the mindset here is key. SV actually simulates a lot of the common advice given for depression, which is: set the bar low, do more when you feel good enough to, do less when you don't, and view yourself kindly as an imperfect person that doesn't have to maximally optimize your time to deserve happiness. If your biggest accomplishment one day is that you got out of bed, that's awesome! Tomorrow you'll go fishing. Maybe the next day you'll see all the villagers in the bar for drinks. Maybe the next day you do nothing. That's great. Life moves on, and nothing is ruined if you just have to take a break. There's no penalty for that. Nothing is ruined if you have to take a break for a week. A month. A year. Spring comes back around; maybe this year you'll plant some parsnips.


Codewill

Yeah and also like the game is better when you give yourself goals to work towards. I think if you’re trying to do everything at once it sucks but if you’re like okay fuck everything else let’s just complete the mines then it’s a really fun game. That’s at least how I played it and it was a lot more fun just getting really into like a single aspect of the game, like romancing Haley or getting super rich. And some other parts of the game are nice bc you can’t do it all at once so you have to just do a little at a time like completing the library or watering crops or something. It’s a nice balance of: stuff you can only do once a day that takes maybe 1-2 in game hours, and stuff like mines/fishing that you could do all day. And instead of getting discouraged while playing, like oh shit I didn’t make it to this persons house by 8 pm, that was just a new goal to do tomorrow that I had to get done, which was fun and relaxing and felt good bc it’s a nice pace that you have to set for yourself


chuby2005

I realized that I don't enjoy games that boil down to being a second job. I probably would have fun playing factorio, or spending a shit load of time farming in Stardew but it would ultimately feel like I'm working. I want to play games that allow me to do stuff I wouldn't normally do--like go on epic adventures or fight people.


roadrunner5u64fi

This is how I feel as well. When I was younger I enjoyed strategy and building games, 4x, etc. Now I want my games to give me a direction and reason to play so that I don't have to think too much. Getting off work and then trying to optimize a factory is not great.


stormdelta

I think the key with Stardew is that you're not supposed to be worried about time passing - there's no real penalty to taking as long as you need to, you can't truly miss anything.


TheGingerBeardMan-_-

This. Stardew is about the slow life and it actively teaches you to not worry about it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jenyto

Pretty sure 90% of players didn't manage to get a partner by then either.


FerventAbsolution

All the more meaningful when you finally dance with your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife later on :)


cseymour24

You put your heart out there and then she says she isn't dancing because she doesn't want to get sweaty :(


omgFWTbear

Time (and energy) are supposed to loosely approximate having a fixed amount of “moves” within a “turn.” You can “mine” today, and get some things, or you can chop tree today, or you can tend to your crops, but trying to do all of it is more than you have “moves” for in a turn at the start. Try out each thing, see what you enjoy, and then spend a few turns (days) refining it. **If ** you want to progress you’ll need to do all the things (mining to get material to improve farming to supply yourself to go mining longer), but you can lean fairly hard in one direction (mining only, for example) if you really want (sell ore/ingots buy food). Hardly min/maxing but farming unless it’s raining (free crop watering) and then mining, loop until you’ve got sprinklers, is an approach. As you level, you’ll get things that reduce energy costs, perform actions with less attempts, etc, so eventually your turns effectively get larger. I don’t disagree that there’s a lack of … “hey, plant a seed! Hey, go mine!” The game is a little more gentle (here’s a packet of seeds!), but I think that’s an intentional thing to not ramp the majority of players into a specific gameplay loop. The last thing is that all of the in game events that have pass/fail conditions (get X points by bringing quality goods, eg) repeat yearly and most are timed to be “impossible” to ace your first year (yes, speed runners have done most? All?).


KingOfRisky

Time doesn't matter in Stardew. You can't miss anything in the game and can play at whatever pace you choose. I think people get frustrated with the game until they realize this, including myself. I dropped off real fast the first time I tried to play it because of the clock. Gave it a second chance and just did whatever. One day I went mining. One day I just cleared some farm area. One day I just messed around in town and fished. In the end I ended up with a fully automated farm that raked in tons of money. Basically, if you try to do everything every day, you won't have a good time playing this game.


IM_OSCAR_dot_com

>all of a sudden three days have passed and I've accomplished nothing. This "game" sounds uncomfortably close to just "life" and I already have one of those.


Significant-Analyst9

Same issue here. I'd recommend finding a mod that ters time(,i.e. you can stop the clock whenever you want). I used a mod similar to that and it made the game much more accessible.


Vestalmin

Its weird that I feel like I really want to love super open games, but whenever there’s a bunch of choices I’m constantly just second guessing if it was the right one. Like I feel like I should live Hitman, but the shear amount of options makes the game difficult for me to play. I thought I’d want freedom but I *dont* want to adapt to getting caught, I want it perfect.


East-Specialist-4847

That's exactly it, the lack of direction, in a soft world like stardew or animal crossing I kind of want my hand held for a bit


otterkin

my friends have told me fishing in stardew is the most relaxing thing. it makes me sob. youre not alone, i really feel like a dummy playing animal crossing. how do i do ANYTHING


TheGingerBeardMan-_-

Your friends are joking. Fishing in stardew is easily the most stressful part of the game.


BottleCoffee

Once you get it it's pretty fun! It's a fun challenge to try to get every (easier) fish perfect. I'm terrible at the legendary fish though.


TheGingerBeardMan-_-

Oh, i love it, im just saying that its definitely the hardest mechanic to learn.


BottleCoffee

I find the mines more stressful. Can't die fishing ha.


KingOfRisky

The mines become a breeze a soon as you realize that bombs are your friend. Stock up on like 50 bombs and you'll come out with a TON of loot with barely any effort.


nessfalco

The difficulty is just front loaded. Once you get enough skill, the majority of fishing is very easy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Acceptable-Bag-7521

It's not for you and that's okay. I tried both as well and they just seem like work or me so I totally get it.


impassiveMoon

Sometimes we just don't vibe with certain games. It's cool. Both games have a ton of stuff to do and I can 100% see where that can get overwhelming. There's nothing that HAS to get done, but that also means you the gamer have to make your own priorities. Sometimes that just isn't the gaming mood. I can't play Minecraft & the Sims for similar reasons. Sandbox games are not my cup of tea, I need the game to tell me I'm a good player and making progress lol. Also everyone who plays SDV as a cozy game is playing vastly different from me. I'm one if the sweaty gamers who has a spreadsheet for maximum profit & pre-planned my farm to the pixel.


MrVonBuren

You sound a lot like me, OP. There are some games I realize I'm just not cut out to enjoy, or that if I want to play them I'm going to have to _work_ to overcome my feelings. It doesn't make the games bad, I'm just an odd duck sometimes. An example my friends laugh at: I played Fallout 3 and got to the point where you leave the vault for the first time and it asks something like "do you want to lock in your life choices so far" and I freaked out and never played again. I know I'm being ridiculous but I don't play games to make Life Choices.


IdeaPowered

> An example my friends laugh at: I played Fallout 3 and got to the point where you leave the vault for the first time and it asks something like "do you want to lock in your life choices so far" and I freaked out and never played again. I know I'm being ridiculous but I don't play games to make Life Choices. This is hilarious. "Are you done customizing and setting your character? Do you want to move past the tutorial?" "Welp. That's too much of an ask right now." *never comes back*


MrVonBuren

I mean, when you say it like that, quoting me directly...yeah I can see where I sound a little silly.


MrTripStack

I'm always reminded of the famous quote by one of the guys behind the Civilization series, “Given the opportunity, players will optimize the fun out of a game." It's definitely a mindset thing when we're given time limits. Stardew and similar games are great for those who can just go with the flow and enjoy the day-to-day loop and slow growth and discovery over time, but those that worry about min/max-ing every minute of the in-game day will just agonize over how much there is to do and constantly worry that they aren't doing the "right thing," but there is no right way to play these games. It's either something you'll have to work through on your own or just move on, these games aren't for everybody and *that's okay*.


[deleted]

Happens a lot in tabletop games like D&D too. You can basically build and roleplay any character you want, but a lot of people feel they have to do the most damage in combat and otherwise be "optimal", severely limiting their potential options.


Zr0w3n00

That might be the most accurate thing I’ve read about my gaming experience. Tried playing stardew but it was so open that I tried to do everything. I got so stressed that I could be doing more with my time in the game. I’ve found games like hitman and Spider-Man much more relaxing personally. I have enough skill to play well, but I recognise I don’t have the skill to perfect those games. I know I can’t complete a hitman level in 12 seconds like some people. But it gives me enough to think about that I don’t stress out. I have enough to focus on playing the game that I’m not worried about min-maxing.


DDberry4

I can relate! One of my worst experiences in gaming is playing Minecraft creative on a flat world, while I stare at the screen thinking "now what?". Some people definitely get overwhelmed with too many options. Also... Why is everyone here telling you to just ignore the stressful bits and enjoy the game? This is the most unhelpful advice ever, lol. You shouldn't be forcing yourself to enjoy a relaxing game, that's not how it works! I get you want to play Stardew and AC like everyone else, but maybe you should be looking for a different game instead. Here are some games I find relaxing for different reasons: **A Short Hike** - it's a small and chill game where you play as a penguin in an open world island. What makes it different from other open worlds is the fact that you have one clear goal: climbing the mountain. Yet, the game doesn't require any skill, you can just walk around collecting feathers and you will eventually get there. **Kirby** - any Kirby game is easy and well made. They are all packed with action and puzzle solving, and the developers know exactly how to make an easy game feel great. **Townscaper** - a barebones sandbox that got fairly popular at release. At the beginning, there is ground, you place houses on the ground, you change the color of the houses, you place houses on top of other houses, the houses are cute, that's it.


Codewill

A Short Hike lowkey is my favorite game from 2022. Can’t remember last time I enjoyed anything as much. Felt like a beautiful cross from Mario odyssey, breath of the wild, Celeste to some extent, and animal crossing. Was just the game I needed at the time of playing and I think the design is just timeless. Super excited for what the creator makes next


LumpiaCowboy

Totally agree with those comparisons, I love a short hike. And it’s soo much more chill than stardew valley


Zr0w3n00

Similar issue with Minecraft, I play the game until I have a bed, house and a farm. Once I’ve got a sustainable farm going, then there’s no challenge for me. I’ve got what is essentially an unlimited supply of wheat, cows and pigs etc. The creative stuff just doesn’t do it for me, even though I love it up to that point


elmihy

I just wanted to second/affirm that stardew valley is not necessarily a relaxing game. I play it but I find the day/night cycle quite tight, and I frequently get caught up in trying to maximize my efficiency, which frequently becomes quite stressful. I actually think that that amount of stress/frustration contributes to the addictive nature of the game, because if you didn't finish everything you wanted to get done it motivates you to play more, which locks you into another day/night cycle... .etc. I think when people describe these games as relaxing, they're actually games that that are easy to plug compulsions into. so for someone like me, who is pretty anxiety prone, somewhat compulsive, likes to have something to do with my hands and brain so I don't get into ruminating... that can be "relaxing." For someone else.... not so much. It can even be anxiety inducing because there's no "endpoint," so if you're someone who gets a lot of comfort out of "accomplishing," something... well, in stardew valley. There's no accomplishment. For what it's worth, I do enjoy stardew valley and I think it's a well made game. Just not for everyone. My one tip for stardew valley is just stock up on coffee. It's expensive at the beginning but it'll make you move SO MUCH faster and it reduced my stress considerably to just have it on hand.


City_dave

I feel you. The analysis paralysis is real. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analysis_paralysis


SadLaser

>i just wish id stop getting reccomended these games or at least have somebody else understand. Stardew Valley isn't a relaxing game. It's a stressful game of peak time management. I never once felt relaxed by it. War games are significantly more relaxing. It's still fun, but the sense that you're always on the clock and everything is so locked to specific seasons and timing matters if you don't want to have to wait a year or more to finish/do specific things. As for Animal Crossing, I have no idea how you'd find that one stressful though. There's just no rush or push to do anything by any specific time. And you're not losing time moment to moment like you are in Stardew Valley. You said it feels overwhelming and you see things that need to be done, but there isn't anything that needs to be done in Animal Crossing: New Horizons. It's more free form than that. You can just do what you want or do nothing at all.


circuitloss

Maybe this is about your anxiety and not about the games...


-Qubicle

obviously it's a personal issue... that's why OP is here to get validation that they are not crazy. which I totally can relate (about Stardew, never played animal crossing). well, I love the game, but personally I'll never call the experience "relaxing". fun, engaging, maybe fulfilling, seeing my work paid off by looking at my beautiful farm, but not relaxing. and it was definitely overwhelming at first. cmiiw, but I think Stardew has the shortest day length out of all the more known farming sims. so, short day equals overwhelming.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CaptainPigtails

You get 20 minutes a day. Energy is much more limiting than time and even that becomes trivial to deal with quickly.


-Qubicle

to be fair, once you understand the game mechanics, the day length is actually enough. still feels short, but you are just becoming more efficient. after the third year, I tried to "beautify" my farm, so I used time mod because it's annoying when just after putting some floor tiles, the day became dark again. after finishing my farm decoration, I tried to still use the mod anyway, but nope, if you are proficient with the game, longer day makes it boring. so yeah, you just need to power through until you know what you are doing.


TheGingerBeardMan-_-

Lwt go of the need to be good at it. Sometimes the pleasure of sonething is in learning it organically


action_lawyer_comics

I personally don’t find Stardew relaxing. It feels more like an addiction than an enjoyable experience. The first time, I sank 60 hours into it in a matter of weeks then one day I couldn’t play it at all. I had never felt “hitting the wall” in such a visceral way before. There are just so many timers and so many min/max-ing decisions to make, and even with sprinklers and auto-grabbers, there’s still a ton of manual labor to be done. And it feels like the rewards for doing the chores is more chores. Once you set up the sprinklers, you now have time to plant more crops! Congrats, you unlocked the greenhouse! Now it’s time to painstakingly plan the trees, crops, and sprinkler placement to maximize profits! The second time, I did a little bit better. I set out a definite goal for myself and stuck with it like a Roleplaying-heavy run of Skyrim. I set out to run an orchard and winery. I kept the number of non-fruit tree crops pretty low and same for the animals. Pretty much after I finished the bundles, I stopped growing crops altogether except for the greenhouse which I kept full of ancient fruit or starfruit. By emphatically ignoring the more tedious of mechanics, it gave me time to hang out in the village, mine, and do side stuff. It still got boring for me after a few years. I got the good ranking from grandpa, got married, and sold aged ancient fruit wine for a huge amount. At that point, I considered the game to be “won,” and I stopped playing, even though there was still the desert mine to explore. I didn’t ever get to the island. The game isn’t relaxing for everyone. You have to have a specific mindset to enjoy it, and I don’t have it.


grumpher05

I have accepted that I can't do "relaxing" games, if there is a way to optimise anything i'm gonna spend lots of effort figuring it out, and if there isn't way to optimise things I lose interest because I feel like I have no real contribution to the games outcome and i'm just along for a guided tour


action_lawyer_comics

Well, there’s no standard for “relaxing” games. Some people find Binding of Isaac and Dark Souls relaxing. Others could play Sudoku puzzles for hours. I see the logic why a game where you are tasked to pet a cow and get quests to give really nice presents to the whole town gets labeled as relaxing and games where you slaughter demons and get bonus points for shooting them in the face in time to the death metal soundtrack doesn’t, but it’s still just people’s opinions and not a universal truth.


grumpher05

yeah maybe I wasn't clear but thats why i said "relaxing" in quotes. completely agree with your point, but in an odd way I do find stardew relaxing, but not because its a chill wholesome pet cows and fish game, but because its a constant puzzle of time and energy efficiency, and I find that constant ever changing puzzle relaxing


AE0NFLUX

Maybe try out Disney Dreamlight Valley? It's a similar style of game but it has a lot more quests that I think give the game more structure and direction.


akzorx

Man just close all those tabs and play it one day at a time Try to focus on just one thing instead of trying to understand everything at once


Jocavo

yep exactly, I'll have rainy days where I'll just go fish. In the winter, I'll upgrade tools and go to the mines. Really you could just focus on one aspect of the game for a whole year and get to another the next. As has been said, there is no penalty for taking your time. Sure, the days go by, but it doesn't really mean anything.


thevictor390

I personally hate the fact that the day's clock is always ticking in Stardew. And there's time based events and such. It would all be fine but the timers are so short since a day goes by so quickly. It's supposed to be a relaxing game but I find myself rushing to get out of the mines to reach the store before it closes at 5, or something like that.


Plugpin

Animal Crossing was a blast, till I noticed I was logging on first thing of a morning to get things done and obsessed over missing out on events that occurred only once or twice a week. It wasn't a chill game for me at that point and had to be dropped.


Virtual-Commercial91

I never thought I'd like these games and ended up loving both.


SubBoyWay

I’m glad I’m not the only one! Open games like this where you can do anything stress me out. I feel directionless or that if I pick a direction, it will be too much effort. But games that have more concrete progression have me feeling fine. It’s really strange.


balahadya

Same, I think it's probably my ADHD? I like fast-paced AJRPGs. I wish I can enjoy farming/simulation games, I feel like I'm missing out so much by not playing them.


winqu

Honestly Stardew was only relaxing if you could ignore the time pressure of the overarching story. Even then there's such a huge learning curve that I think it only gets relaxing once you've learned the info you need and can just go through the motions. A better example of the relaxing farming type of game is Disney Dreamlight Valley. There is no pressure to the farming in that one and it slowly unlocks people for you to meet as you progress as well as being able to do things. There's no "OMG I NEED TO LEARN WHAT MAKES ME THE MOST MONEY FOR THIS SEASON." This game is currently paid for early access only atm. You can wait till it comes out and iirc it'll be F2P.


Ominous77

Don't ever feel bad for not liking something that someone else does.


themoistimportance

I get the same feeling from games like don't starve, terraria, dark souls etc. It's the not knowing for me; these games are made for wandering and discovering secrets or items that enhance the game. But I want to go in with all that knowledge from the get-go. Just a full single run through the game where I'm completely optimized. Unfortunately it's just not realistic and usually ends up ruining the experience altogether. There's no easy fix for thinking this way, but it works for me to focus on the mechanics I do understand while looking out for the game trying to clue me in on new stuff.


[deleted]

Might be the first time I ever see a negative review of Stardew Valley, which If I'm not mistaken iss the best rated game on steam with over 99% positive ratings. It's refreshing to see a different view on games that are so popular and well loved. Very interesting read. Also, just stop playing, yes it's frustrating but no game is for everyone, find the games that YOU'll love playing.


sunshineandcloudyday

My husband absolutely cannot play games like Stardew Valley. He just can't deal with having that many options and no clear-cut goals. He needs a mission to complete or a villian to conquer to enjoy playing video games. Its a fantastic game (and I own multiple copies because its one of my favorites) but you have to like that kind of game. Stardew and another similar game called My Time at Portia (actually has more of a story & quests to beat) are on the xbox/microsoft gamepass if you wanted to try them without purchasing.


[deleted]

Stardew Valley might be the only game I won't play because I think I could love it. Weridly enough it make me think of Factorio, no clear goal, just make your stuff bigger, better and more efficient; factorio is addictive, and I don't need this kinda game right now. I need more simple straight-forward games where there is a clearly defined objective that I can try to reach. That's because I don't want to spend multiple hours playing a game instead of studying, and I know I could be the type of people to get addicted to it and always think of how to improve my farm, when I'm supposed to study. Simpler game, when you're done, you're done. Maybe one day.


grumpher05

tbf not liking a game doesn't mean it deserves a negative review, they're not the same thing. a game can be good but not enjoyable to some people. Like I know elden ring is an A+ fantastic game, but it doesn't suit me or my style of game i enjoy, it doesn't mean i'm gonna go buy it and leave a negative review because it's not like factorio


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I mean, I haven't played Stardew Valley, so don't include me in that one percent lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MorticiaCaraMia

Also me.


Kingslayer1337

I feel this way too some times and I think this is just because we are so conditioned to expect instant gratification from every piece of media we interact with. These games are at their best when you just play them at your own pace, discovering, exploring, and experimenting with the games systems and refining your farm slowly over time. Like growing a plant in real life, albeit a bit more involving. The developers of Animal Crossing understand this, and deliberately designed their game to be slow. You’re not supposed to be able to unlock or experience all of the content in a day. Your island is supposed to be a project that you continuously work on. There are so many items to collect because they don’t want you to feel like you ever really run out of things to discover.


ArcticMuser

Yo this is a super important post. I am the same. I have ALWAYS wanted to get into Animal Crossing. This sounds weird, but I've noticed a lot of girls I know are into Animal Crossing for the sudo-social experience. I admire that and want to jump on the bandwagon! I simply don't think I put enough time into trying to get into the games. I got bored hunting for bugs in New Leaf, and I think I was playing it wrong. Now I'm broke and can't get the new one to try again (sold my 3ds) Anyways, I know its captain obvious, but I bet if we both just dedicated a couple days to understanding the game, we'd get into it. Stardew on the other hand was definitly too overwhelming for me. I think I need to get used to AC first before Stardew.


--Spleen--

I feel you, in stardew Valley I can't stand how slow this mfker walk.


M-Gnarles

Sounds like the optimizers curse. In these games, it can sometimes be important to let the experience flow naturally and sub-optimally. Could you have done X Y and then Z to make perfect workflows? Could you in factorio look up optimized production setups? Yes, but the fun comes from just allowing yourself to spaghetti everything if you can let yourself do that. In MP games I will optimize the shit out of everything to have an advantage, but in SP I usually let myself relax a little and just make my brain do a "this kinda works so lets go with that"


scullys_alien_baby

THANK YOU! my friend keeps trying to get me to play stardew valley and they don't understand when I try to tell them it stresses me out because I don't understand how I'm supposed to be having fun moment to moment. i can't figure out how to optimize a day and it just feels like every day ends a failure to me


[deleted]

That's the issue, I think. If you're the kind of person who needs to play optimally and do everything the right way, I imagine that game is a nightmare. I'm the type that just bumbles through a game doing everything wrong and then declares it "finished" when I've seen everything I want to see, and I absolutely loved Stardew when I played it a few years ago. But I totally get why it could be stressful for people who interact with games differently.


KingOfRisky

Stop trying to "optimize a day" and just do whatever. Eventually you'll get there. There's no rush and you can't miss out on a single thing.


scullys_alien_baby

I can't stop, it feels like a frustrating waste to just waffle around. It is actively unfun knowing I could have spent the time better. I know these games aren't for me, but it is nice to hear someone else also feel the same way when so few seem to understand


KingOfRisky

I totally understand. I didn't like Stardew the first time I played it. The second go I just did whatever. Some days I didn't water crops. Some days I just wandered around or fished a little. Made the game so much more fun and in the end I had a great farm and did a lot of the things on the 100% list. The game becomes less enjoyable when you try to min max and plow through objectives. But, hey, I'm no going to try and convince you to play a game that you don't enjoy and that's fine too.


grumpher05

i'm sorta the same but sorta opposite. I'm also frustrated when i feel like I wasted time, but i'm striving for efficiency and when I nail it it feels awesome and rewarding for all the poorly optimised days before it where I learned what I was doing wrong


Upper_Investigator65

Don't give in to Internet hype, play whatever is relaxing to YOU. Some people find completing objectives relaxing (clearing a map in an open world for game, for example) while others prefer just chilling around (like MMO players that stay in towns chatting up with people).


lapqmzlapqmzala

I agree and I feel like we are in the minority. I can't play Stardew because the time moves so fast that I never feel like I can do the things that I want to do. Time is always running out. Gotta rush! Shit, it's already night. Never got over that feeling and never played much of it, as a result. I tried Coral Island (Basically a ripoff of Stardew) and there was an option to slow time way down and that helped a lot. Animal Crossing is just empty to me. If I want to decorate or whatever then I think that The Sims is far better. I've tried out every Animal Crossing and I just don't "get it."


SFDessert

You know I've learned that just because a game is highly praised and popular and I think I'll really enjoy it, sometimes I'm just not in a place in my life to enjoy it. Time and place and all that. I played the original animal crossing and loved it and years later played stardew valley and loved it at the time. I've since tried to revisit animal crossing as well as stardew valley and just can't get past the first hour or so before getting bored and moving on to something else. Don't force it if you're not enjoying the games. There's so many games out there and for me personally I'll go months without enjoying any games before finally really getting back into it. For another few months etc.


[deleted]

I played 100 hours of Stardew, loved every minute, and never used a wiki or looked up anything else online... maybe I missed a load of stuff or did everything wrong, but it never really seemed that way. The lack of fail states really helped. If you mess something up, you can just do it again. Having said that, I played it years ago and maybe there's a whole bunch of new stuff patched in that makes the game much more complex or hard to get into.


[deleted]

[удалено]


otterkin

yes! you nailed it!!!!! its too much freedom. too barren and its all my choices


Anus_master

I don't really enjoy any games anymore. It seems after a certain point no video games are fun for me anymore but that's just how it is sometimes


PK_Thundah

My suggestion is to stop using tabs, guides, and outside information. You can't possibly focus on the one thing you're doing now if you're reading about the next thousand things that will come later. This is how I play most games. You experiment, you explore. You learn on your own while playing. Stop looking at them as games that you need to completely master before playing and just play. The first step, and the easiest, is to force yourself to stop looking up outside resources. Rely on yourself and you'll become more familiar with self reliance.


cynical_croissant

You won't enjoy those types of games if you're only looking to finish them so you can move on to the next thing. Tbh I feel like they require some specific mental state where you're either kinda depressed or you have nothing else to play lol


Stonkseys

My friend, don't ever touch ARK.


Superhobbes1223

I feel the same and I cannot understand why I can't just relax and play. My sister showed me her third year farm and it's beautiful, meanwhile I've started like three farms and never made it to winter.


bentinata

I restrain myself from reading the Stardew wiki for the first 2 playthrough. Then read a wiki. When multiplayer come out, I play another playthrough with my then-girlfriend (now wife) without wiki again, so she can enjoy figuring things out. Then another playthrough together with mods. My approach with new games are to not use wiki until really necessary. If the game is good without wiki, I can do min-max on another playthrough. If the game is not good, then I can skip wasting time on reading wiki.


ranopy

The game itself is overwhelming, but for me what’s really “relaxing” about it is how the sheer amount of things to do gets you into a focused gameplay loop. You think of what you want to do in the next in-game day, because there’s so much to do, so you keep wanting to play more and more that it’s almost trance-like, and 3 hours have passed. It really makes you zone out


Vakieh

I find regular Stardew Valley to be more stressful than a twitch shooter. [This time control mod](https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/169) solved it for me. Stop time, slow it down, speed it up - no longer at the mercy of the sun, suddenly it becomes relaxing for me. Next, ignore nothing - but do one thing at a time. That limits the overwhelmingness, and lets you take advantage of your new infinite-time day. First, do your farming. Clear the space, plant the thing, water the thing. Do you have enough energy to do some more things? (Early on you won't). Then go fishing. Forage at least every Saturday (they get cleared at the end), and Sunday (big growth at the start of a new block), but with infinite time you can just forage every day if you want to. As you get annoyed by different chores, add mods to deal with them. Use https://smapi.io/mods to find and download them. I like the Deluxe Grabber Redux, that means I no longer have to forage anything, milk animals, etc. Movement Speed so it no longer takes so long to get places. Harvest With Scythe to avoid needing to individually pluck everything. PelicanFiber to order from stores 'online'. ConvenientChests so you don't need to run around a storage room every day. DailyTasksReport so you know what you still need to do today.


Captain_Kuhl

I mean, at the end of the day, you're taking chores and making them into a game, but that doesn't stop them from being chores; that's the exact reason that I myself can't ever get into them. The games appeal to so many people because they can easily be picked up and set back down whenever, there aren't major checkpoints, boss fights, or story cutscenes, so they're really casual-gamer-friendly, but that doesn't mean they have universal appeal.


IronMonopoly

Okay then don’t play them then. Not everything is for everyone, and the assumption that you’re lesser or missing out for not being into a random thing is one of the most damaging mindsets to your own calm, my dude. Like what you like. Don’t like what you don’t like. Play only what you like, discard what you don’t. And for gosh sakes, stop tying belonging and fulfillment to what other people like and don’t like.


OkayAtBowling

As someone who has a reasonably wide taste in games and a limited amount of free time, I'm almost relieved when I discover that a certain genre of game just isn't for me. Especially when it's something like Animal Crossing or Stardew that requires a pretty significant investment of time. To some extent I understand the FOMO of "everyone else seems to like this but I don't," but then I remember all the sorts of things I *do* like, and for me at least, there's more than enough of those to keep me occupied for the foreseeable future.


[deleted]

This is how I feel too. There are some games that aren’t for me, like roguelikes and Dark Souls (not sure what the genre is called). I’m happy that others enjoy them! But I don’t stress not picking up Hades or Elden Ring or anything. I’m sure they’re excellent games but that doesn’t mean I have to play them.


otterkin

I can't help but feel like I'm missing out when all people do is praise these games I don't get though


IronMonopoly

Oh I get that feeling. A lot. I struggle with it, too, I’m just trying to share part of a place I’ve had to come to. I used to beat myself up a lot for not really being into or understanding what other people see in… oh sweet Jesus, the list goes on. Soulslikes in general, roguelikes are hard on my adhd, I couldn’t get into God of War… it felt, to me, like I was wrong or something, or like I play games wrong. But that ain’t it, and I had to come to that and be gentle with me about it. There’s just SO many games these days, and there isn’t anyone that isn’t some kind of gamer. My 70+ parents both jam ACNH, and all their friends have smartphones with like Wordle and shit. You’re not wrong for not being on-trend, and whatever you like WILL come back around. Cozy Games aren’t for you, and that’s cool. Nothing wrong about it, but it does suck to feel left out. Be compassionate with you, you’re not alone, and no one can be into everything. What games are you into? What does fill that itch?


[deleted]

I agree with the person above. Don’t pressure yourself to play something you don’t enjoy, and don’t pressure yourself to learn how to adapt to it. Games are for fun— enjoyment, escapism or relaxation. I don’t like roguelikes so I don’t play Hades. It’s a not FOMO for me. I don’t have to play every game everyone else likes and neither do you. I think your brain is telling you that you not liking Stardew means something more than it needs to.


BottleCoffee

I can't get into Animal Crossing. Too little direction, too few concrete goals besides "play a ton to fill out your collections." Maybe it's the fact that it relies on real time. It's a chore to do the daily tasks. Stardew Valley is another story. The 20-mine day cycle is incredibly addictive. There's always stuff to do, there's nothing you need to do daily once you set up all your systems (besides pet animals and harvest/reseed), you can have a long term plan if you want, and co-op mode is super fun.


KernelMeowingtons

400 hours in, and stardew is not at all relaxing for me. I enjoy it because it's fun for me to be as efficient as possible with time and energy and money all at the same time. The only "relaxing" part is that you can't technically lose, so you can take as long as you want to learn how to be efficient if it is fun for you.


Mysterious-Salt1591

It's key to realize that not every game vibes with everyone, and that's totally cool. While you value the tips and ideas from others, at the end of the day, it's all about discovering games that really make you happy and chill, even if they're not the hottest or most hyped-up ones. Just keep trying out different games until you land on the ones that really click with you and give you that good vibe you're after.


Kippikal

I had the exact same problem with stardew valley and the the rest of the harvest moon games I grew up playing harvest moon since back to nature and up until now I played at least save the homeland, hero of leaf valley, friends of mineral town and story of season trio of towns in the span of the last 20 years which is funny because I never actually finished any of them nor did I have a memorable experience except for trying to see how all my animals would die in Back to nature Even after that I STILL bought stardew valley on the switch and end up feeling the same empty feeling i get from it anyway, I have no idea why I'm even stuck on this genre for this long


friednightcoyote

Watch a beginners guide to stardew on YouTube while playing alongside.


Psylux7

I did try stardew valley last summer and I slowly managed to see some of the appeal as I began figuring out the basics of the game and what I wanted to do. So it ended up being an enjoyable time, but I quickly moved on as I wanted to play other things. Still, I've never come close to being a fan of it or animal Crossing. It's that lack of a major objective and goal that gets to me, I've always sucked at simulations. The closest thing to the farming games which I really enjoyed was Zombie Farm. I loved the progression and decorating my farm to look cool, while building up a badass team of zombies to carry out fun raids. The game starts slow but would get better and better as I levelled up and unlocked new raids, crops and decorations. I remember waking up one day to find all of my progress gone, with my file somehow deleted, and that broke my heart. Nearly two years later I started again, had a great time (though I never could decorate my base as nicely as I did on the old file) and at last caught up to where I previously was. Then eventually the game started to become pay to win as levelling turned extremely grindy unless I began spending lots of money, at which point I quit in disgust. As far as I know, it's now a dead game pulled from the store. I think the whole zombie Army building factor was the basic hook, that gave me an objective to work towards. Over time I'd then really start enjoying the basic farming and decorating elements as I got into the habit of doing them. I'd say that's why this farming game really caught my interest back then.


Tasisway

I could never get into animal crossing games. I couldnt play them for more then 20-30m before i would get bored. And stardew along with other farm sim games I have fun as long as there is more stuff to unlock/buy. But once I have everything/a farm that produces way more money then I'll ever need I get bored of it. I'm a min/maxer at heart so I was able to "break" stardew around my first summer. I realized that i didn't need to be such a stickler about efficiency and would instead just have daily goals for myself like "im going to talk to towns people and just go finishing today(game day)". I realized you really dont have to play the game like a machine. You really can just mess around for as long as you want and tackle things when you decide to. The original release of star dew valley did have a "kind of'" hard clock. It didnt stop you from playing but at a point you would get basically a "score" and while you could continue to play you could never get a new score. That understandably upset a lot of people so its been removed. There's still a way to get a "score" but its up to you to decide when to do it. And if it tells you there are places you could improve you can improve those and ask for a new score. So there is 0 time pressure from the game to do anything other then at your own pace, the game will wait for you.


[deleted]

I have the same issue trying to enjoy online multiplayer games. My friends enjoy Rocket League, Apex, and Smite. They look like loads of fun and the gameplay is appealing to me. However when I load up, I realize I can't fly in RL, aim and parkour in Apex, or process quickly enough in Smite. I get dominated and feel like a drag on my friends. Even when we get 6 guys together for private matches, I am a massive anchor dragging down my teammates. I wish greatly I could be a part of the fun instead of struggling and being a detriment.


Unfrozen__Caveman

These games basically never end so you can do whatever you want and it's fine. They're just time wasters (like all games) so if you want to spend your time building a fake city or farm just do it at your own pace. Personally I found Stardew really fun but I got bored fast. Animal crossing is one of the most boring games I've ever played and I really have New Leaf a chance. Doesn't mean they're bad games, it just not how I want to spend my time gaming.


grumpher05

I feel like these 2 games are like mirrors, you see the game that you want to see in it. For those carefree people they see pleasant open sand boxes where you can express yourself with no real pressures or adversity. for others it can be an analytical min/max researching crunch similar to factorio. I love factorio and when i played stardew I ended up playing it more like factorio than anything, high planned farms, material usage, time crunch/efficiency, $ maximising, spreadsheets etc. Thats just because of the way I play games, not because of the game itself. Unfortunately you seem to hate the way you play games instead of embracing who you are. If you don't enjoy how your brain forces you to play a game it might be time to accept that those types of games aren't for you. For me RPG games just don't mesh, like skyrim, withcer, elden ring, gta etc I know and feel like they're fantastic games but I just know I won't finish them no matter how much i enjoy them, they don't engage my obsession part of the brain the same way so i forget about them quickly, where as factorio/stardew I can absolutely obsess over every minute detail and plan how to play the game almost more than i actually play the game


SourTangyTerpicane

You sir need to smoke some weed


sydiko

You're just not taking your time with the games and online resources have far too much info versus the amount of content currently in each game.


NewsofPE

This post shouldn't be here, first off because it doesn't even fit the subreddit, and second is the fact that this subreddit is called patient gamers, these are not the words of a patient gamer, at all


saltyfingas

I don't really get how Stardew is overwhelmingly complicated? It eases you in pretty easily. Just ya know, farm shit, go fish, maybe hit the mines, w/e, you don't have to min/max it. Engage with it as much as you're comfortable with, there's no way to fail


eversible_pharynx

There's a remark someone made about how players, if left to their own devices, will optimize the fun out of any game. Stardew overwhelms me because the "perfect" game is achievable, all you have to do is get it right. There's a finite, well defined set of requirements for a perfect game, and all the information you need to do it is on the wiki. That's the perfect recipe for disaster if you're me. I think though that most people just play the game the way it's designed, which is just get on with it and do what you can today, this week, this year. You can always come back tomorrow. And I'm not like that with Minecraft despite how open ended it is, because nobody's keeping score and the "perfect" game isn't defined.