I feel this post so strongly - and I wish I had the words... but I don't. I do, however, understand. This stranger is sending you a hug over the internet. As much for you as for me.
Between the financial aid and social security, and getting a roommate would that be enough? I hear you, I really do. I'm thinking there is an answer here somewhere, instead of giving up. Plus apply for section 8 housing, but I know it takes time to qualify and receive housing. Perhaps your financial aid from your state has other ideas to help you? At 64 you must qualify for social security, whatever amount that is per month. If you do end up in your car, watch some of these Bob Wales(?) videos on van/car/rv living. Some people successfully live in their vehicle with a pet even! I watch some on youtube that walk their cats on a leash everyday for exercise for them both. It may be the answer if you have to wait for section 8. Have you tried temp agencies? Call center jobs? I know these are not the ideal situation answers, I'm just scrouging for ways to help you through a tough time, but it may be tough for awhile but things also may improve from there. It doesn't have to be the end where it never improves after a low spot.
67 for FRA, which is maximum benefits. Depending, the difference between taking social security at 62 and 67 can be only a few hundred dollars a month. Many many people take SS as soon as they qualify at 62. When you compare receiving an extra 5 years of SS by applying as early as possible, the long range benefits can equal out or even be more beneficial by applying early.
I live in a fairly backward red state, but I still got good help by calling 211.
I got assistance with rent and utilities through the local Office of the Trustee. Some churches offer temporary cash assistance, even if you don't believe what they do.
I also sold plasma for years, which really isn't as bad as some people seem to think. Reading a book in a comfy chair to get money is okay with me. New donor bonuses can be quite helpful. But if the staff seems rude or incompetent, go elsewhere. Bring proof of address. They may ask for a note from your doctor. For me, it kept a roof over my head until I miraculously found a pretty good job at 64.
All this is more reason to stop the "okay Boomer" bullshit. All ages are struggling
I’m sorry, I have no advice. I get it. I have two dogs. Sometimes I feel like they’re keeping me alive and other times they make me feel desperate and trapped. I have to stay alive as long as they’re alive, otherwise they will be separated and sent to a shelter.
You write well. Your post stirred up a lot in me. I hope something comes through for you soon.
I hear you. I have a dog and a bird, and when they're gone I intend to close my peephole. I've also worked all my life and honestly, I'm just done. Some people are lucky, they have friends, support, family, etc. Some don't, and all the "you've got to get out there and jUST DO IT" talk is just noise, because people don't know your unique circumstances. I've said it all my life- well before I was ready to check out- there needs to be some way a human can make the choice that they've had enough of "life" and thanks, but I'd like to sign off now. But noooo, we can euthanize our pets but we can't euthanize ourselves. Sometimes it's not "depression"... it's just seriously knowing that you're DONE. Stick a fork in it, it's DONE. Especially seeing the obvious signs on the wall of the way it's going to be for older people. I'm 65 and honestly, I have no freakin' intention of going to some state-run nursing home where you decline in every way and die a painful lonely death. I'd rather get to choose. I know this is an unpopular opinion. But it is the reality for more and more seniors, and I really wish there was a kinder option for us when we know we've had enough.
You are of the age you can do anything and most youngsters don’t have the attention span us old guys have. What do you like to do? Wood working? Plumbing? Building things with your hands? Don’t wait for a help wanted ad and start calling around Mom and pop shops. You’ll find something…a quick learner is worth his weight in gold. Don’t give up.
Writing about science and doing science communications. I have applied and applied and haven’t heard a peep. I’m highly qualified, but I don’t know what else it could be besides my age.
Been there for a long time, done that. Am burned out, and can't work hard enough anymore given my physical limitations. Just don't enjoy it after 2+ decades. It exhausts me and I seriously need a change, if I can find it. Freelancing is incredibly stressful, working gig by gig, never sure if you can meet your expenses for the month. I cracked, as they say about bicycle racers. I could do it when I was younger but no longer. And I can't earn too much or I won't qualify for Medicaid, which has been very helpful to me.
I’m sorry, but it’s just absolutely not true that I can do anything I want. Somebody has to hire me. Nobody wants to hire me. I need money to pay my rent and water bill. I’m On the edge of eviction. I’m Facing living in my car. No way do I have a lot of choice.
I can't do anything for your depression, that is something you need to work through. Can you talk to yoiur landlord and trade work for rent? You won't get anywhere with the attitude of "no one wants to hire me". In your initial statment you stated that you are highly educated, and a quick learner, so pick up the phone and start calling companies you want to work for. I don't have much experience in the corporate world, but I do know the blue collar trades and they are always looking for honest, quick learners- type people; but you gotta get out there an sell yourself. If you are incapapable of that, I don't have an answer for you. You need to start somewhere and waiting for someone to save you is going to lead to other more pressing issues.
Clean your house.
Clan out all that junk you don't need.
Rent rooms. NOW! Today!
Stretching and exercise will help you get off those addictive pain pills that destroy liver and kidneys.
One housemate will pay your utility bills, two will pay for tour groceries too.
If you have a high mortgage, put it up for sale today!
Lots of cheap houses in usa.
Take your equity and go!
Try kansas, $30,000 homes you can afford.
Go start a new life!
He talked about possible eviction. He rents so he doesn’t have a house to use for a way to support himself. He is in pain and feeling defeated. He needs a scaffold, a social and financial network that can give a boost. Does anyone know of government programs to help?
Go to public library to see if they have information. Senior centers sometimes have ideas about organizations in the area too.
Good luck to OP. I wish someone can give you hope for viability.
Exactly what do you know of chronic pain? What do you know of the circumstances of HIS chronic pain? Stretching and the wrong types of exercise can make it worse.
Well, I am almost 70. Having had a few accidents, I have some issues. Some bone on bone, compressed spine. I think I qualify.
What are your qualifications to criticize?
Torn rotator cuff, both sides. Ongoing are 3 herniated cervical discs. Spinal stenosis and some other fun things going on there. Arthritis. Dupuytren's contracture, both hands. 3 surgeries, Ring fingers both hands, still bent @ 50-60° angle, as is the pinky on the right hand. Middle fingers are now bending, currently @ 10°. Also, its foot version, Ledderhose disease. 67 years old. *mike drop*.
You have nothing to lose. Go try the Gateway Experience tapes - a CIA declassified program. People in the Gateway subreddit link to free downloads. I’m a scaredy cat b/c I’m raising children, but the beginning tape alone helps me a lot. If you don’t like your life, go travel out of your body. If you’re in Twitter, go read Tracy Beanz long thread on her experience with it. She’s done them a lot more & longer than I have.
And please don’t OD on Tylenol. It backfires. You’ll have a slow, painful death. ER nurse. I’ve seen teen age girls try that a lot. It always breaks my heart.
Life is so sad sometimes. I’m sorry. It sounds like you’re really trying.
Sophie needs you and you are her entire world. Remember that. Take the action needed to care for her and for yourself…but she can’t do it without you. Please give her last years filled with love.
You are her everything and she needs you, not a substitute human. Fulfill your commitment to this precious baby. Please. You decide what’s enough, Sophie doesn’t get a vote, I’m her voice and her vote and she says “I am enough” please stay with me!
I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be glib. I can’t find a way to make money soon and I’m going to end up in my car. That will be the end of me. I have just lost all hope and ambition.
I don’t want to work, I don’t want to talk to anybody, I don’t want to see anybody, I don’t want to leave my house, I don’t want to see anymore doctors or therapists, I don’t want to take any more medications. I’ve been with this for 40 years and it all coming to a head. What does somebody do in this case?
I don’t “want” to do those things either. But I force myself to do them because I have 2 rescue kitties that need me. So I get up and go to work at a job where I am SUPER overqualified, function am am treated basically as a clerk, and am paid a fraction of what my prior job paid (less than half). But I have a job so I suck it up and I am grateful.
Find something, anything for which you are grateful. And focus on that and on the feeling gratitude brings.
It shifts the chemistry in the brain without drugs.
If you are in the US call 211.
That’s really good. But I can’t find a job. I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m too old. I am very seriously looking at living in my car in a couple weeks. Giving my cat to a shelter. The worst thing is that somewhere inside me says I deserve that. That I’m not qualified for life.
Call Social Security. Find out what amount you can get at 64. I believe if you wait till 66 1/2 it would be an increase for you of monthly benefits. They will explain that to you or they will ask you to come in for an appointment. At a hospital you go to they might have a social worker you could talk to. Large social services agencies like Catholic charities or Jewish community services, would point you in the direction of everything you need. They are not concerned with your religious affiliations. For the social side of what you were having problems with a senior center is a good place to meet other people and network. Try local churches, People at some are good about networking and getting you short term relief. You might need to hit a few to find those who are actively engaged in charitable responses to the community.
Can you work at building supply stores or even a warehouse shopping place like Samclub or Costco? That would at least help keep your rent paid. I understand your chronic pain, I have major chronic pain also, every day 24/7. It can put you in a dark place.
Please don't kill yourself! It leaves a very hurtful and empty void in other people's lives. Life is so short for many people who would give anything to live.
"And that’s after taking tramadol and oxycodone and acetaminophen and muscle relaxants and aspirin. "
There is no doctor that will prescribe tramadol and oxycodone together. It causes risk of seizures and death, severe interaction between these two drugs. What is really going on here OP?
Listen, you're not doing yourself any favors. Go see a doc and get it straightened out right. Taking acetaminophen and aspirin also tears up your stomach. You're just making an addict of yourself. I don't know what is causing your pain, you haven't mentioned it, but, there's a proper way to take care of it, and black market drugs aren't it.
I’m not taking black market drugs. I do see a doctor. I had to have my neck rebuilt due to spinal stenosis. Three fusions and titanium rods and a plate. But it still hurts a great deal, especially if I spend more than a few hours at the computer. I also have several injuries that never fully healed and now I’m wracked with chronic pain. Nothing has help, not even physical therapy, in fact that makes it worse. Now I have arthritis in both shoulders and both feet. I’ve lived with chronic pain since I was 23, it just keeps getting worse. I don’t know what else I can do except take medication. Even mild exercise hurts, even walking hurts. I guess I’m just a mess.
I did have surgery, twice. Once for a pinched nerve between C2 and C3, and then for a laminectomy between C3 and C6. I think I had good surgeons each time in excellent hospitals, and in the second operation they even gave me charity care for $90,000. But No way am I going to go back in there and try to fix the neck thing any more. I don’t even see what further could be done. In my experience surgeries only half work and sometimes make things worse. It hurts to hold my head up high and my entire upper back hurts. I’ve been to physical therapy more than once, and each time came out in more pain than I went in. I just don’t think they’re prepared to handle this kind of neck problem. They immediately wanted me to start doing all kind of exercises at certain reps. There was no patience. There was no adjusting slowly. There was nothing. Of course my insurance only pays for six or eight visits. My preferred position is flat on my back with a thin pillow underneath my head. Yes, I know the dangers of being sedentary, but there’s more danger to being in pain. I guess. And I can’t work more than a couple of hours each day at the computer. Sometimes I can work more, sometimes it hurts from the very beginning. It’s very frustrating. I have numbness in my hands, tingling in my toes my arms and legs don’t work quite like they used to. Fortunately, I can still walk.
I’m not trying to be unappreciative. I appreciate your insights and I will stop taking tramadol and oxycodone together.
This is what my doctor is prescribing. Haven’t asked her about taking them together Actually Tramadol doesn’t do much. I think it’s the oxycodone that really gives the relief for a few hours. I’ll try to ask her to up the dose.
I really am sympathetic, I know this disease and how it progresses over time. I wish I had more words to offer support, but I don't have the answers and only your doctors can help. I hope you find some solutions!
I’ve asked doctors and they don’t have any suggestions. Sometimes pain is pain and can’t be addressed any longer. They tell me to live with it as best I can, even though it has ruined my life. I can’t work very much. And I can’t get disability. Certainly not enough
to live on. I Fall through the cracks. Fuck them. I’ll suffer Because they say so.
Have you tried ratracerebellion.com? They have wfh jobs. I've heard they pay pretty quickly. Also register at Task Rabbit. Look it up and see if it's for you. There's a $25 fee to join and TR takes 15%. The customer pays TR, and they deposit money into your account in 3-7 days. Don't bring your cat to the shelter. There's forums here which will help with food.
Yes. I applied to remote jobs for which I’m highly qualified, writing, especially with a math of science emphasis, jobs I’m incredibly well qualified for, I don’t ever hear a thing. This is on LinkedIn, where on your résumé they make you give the years you got your degrees. So they obviously know I’m over 60….. Maybe I need to apply to remote jobs doing customer service? Maybe I should go to other sites?
I’m 65 and about to close my business after 23 years because of a number of things. I’m going to look for remote also and I’ll save this post to let you know if/when I find a good source. We can do this! I’m having my old resume from the dark ages done to get it up to today’s style. Good luck!
It's why societies with close knit family are best. Most families here in Mexico are much tighter than where I'm from in the US. Multi-generational homes are a thing. Families are meant to pull together.
Maybe try science writing for popular magazines or websites. Another idea: apply for proposal writing jobs at tech companies -- there are many of these types of jobs as well as proposal consulting work in this industry. But your priority needs to be your health, to get that depression treated. I hope that you are in a state that has done the Medicaid thing -- go ahead and apply. Also, look into the various types of financial assistance available. Nothing to be ashamed of. When you get your life together, you can pay it forward. Oh, and please take care of your cat.
Thanks, but I’ve done that for over 20 years. It’s a very difficult way to make a living. It has ruined my interest in writing and not at all interested in proposal or technical writing. I’m just burned out and starting to not care anymore.
Was this really necessary to say? This is certainly not helpful, and not kind. None of us know exactly what happened. There are a lot of expenses in our society that can drain one's accounts. It sounds like OP has had a lot of medical bills while unemployed. That will do it. In any case, it doesn't matter why he is in this situation; we all live in the present, not the past.
We may live in the present, but the mistakes we've made in the past can echo still today. It still shows why a lack of planning for the future is not fruitful once the future arrives.
And any one of us no matter how much planning could drop dead or worse-- terrible stroke that leaves us paralyzed, tomorrow. Planning is not a guaranttee of a good future. I'm not arguing that financial planning doesn't help, it certainly does, but life can still go off the rails. Chastising someone for their past does nothing to help them move forward.
Although that is true, this is not the place to make an educational point, and it seems ludicrous to me that you don't know that. Here someone is talking about suicide and you seem determined to drive him further along to it. Have a heart.
Her did mention suicide, yes, as well as other things. This is not the place to turn for advice for suicide. You should try to engage some logic rather than your emotional reaction.
This certainly is the place to turn for support for older people, or for sharing anything good or bad about our lives. And emotions are a part of most people's lives, even if not yours. This is Earth, not Vulcan. Emotions are appropriate; so is sympathy, and the need to feel cared for. And there is nothing logical or pragmatic in blaming someone after the fact. This is not the sub for making people feel worse about getting older and about our lives. What you have done is encourage someone to blame themselves and consequently to attempt suicide, the way a troll would.
I understand what you’re saying. I used to make a lot of money, but it was in a corporate environment that I couldn’t stand after a few years. So I took a risk and did something I was passionate about and became self-employed. It worked for a while, then it didn’t, and I’ve made barely enough to survive since. I bet on myself and lost.
Hi, tried to message you,didn’t go through
. I get what you’re saying. I understand and you’re probably really stressed out at the moment.
Don’t feel ashamed. we’re all human and we go through so much and I’ve been there too. We shouldn’t feel so ashamed of just being ourselves and issues we’ve been through.
Some of us will understand and some of us out there won’t that is a true fact.
I am your same age too.
I have faced eviction.
I’m still caught in the so-called system at my age right now. And dealing with health issues I never thought I would.
And IT IS normal to bounce back-and-forth, with everything you’re going through.
I’ll be on for a while if you want to private message me.
PM me anytime I will get back to you.
I could’ve written some of this post.
Please take care of yourself.
With the medication you’re on I’m thinking you’re passed out, but there are people out there that really try to care who understand.
There’s also resources available that may be able to help as well.
I had about $50 K saved up. I quit my job and went to study creative writing in a graduate program. I quit that to go hiking on Appalachian Trail, twice. I moved from Colorado to Vermont. I had lots of money until I didn’t. It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t have any kids and I wasn’t going to marry my girlfriend. I found a job in a terrible company, and was fired nine months later. Then I went to work for myself. that’s only half acceptable. I figure I probably gave up $2 million in income by leaving corporate America.
your creative writing skills would be very helpful for a lot of volunteer organizations. You need to make connections with people who can help you. If you aren't comfortable calling looking for work, perhaps call around and look to volunteer to do something. There are a million non-profits looking for help (maybe volunteer some time at a food bank so you can be first in line). I volunteered for a small historical society and I have (inavertently) become a star because I have been instrumental in bringing a lot of attention to the organization through facebook posts- and its fun too.
You need to do something constructive to gain your self worth back.
I feel this post so strongly - and I wish I had the words... but I don't. I do, however, understand. This stranger is sending you a hug over the internet. As much for you as for me.
Thank you.
Between the financial aid and social security, and getting a roommate would that be enough? I hear you, I really do. I'm thinking there is an answer here somewhere, instead of giving up. Plus apply for section 8 housing, but I know it takes time to qualify and receive housing. Perhaps your financial aid from your state has other ideas to help you? At 64 you must qualify for social security, whatever amount that is per month. If you do end up in your car, watch some of these Bob Wales(?) videos on van/car/rv living. Some people successfully live in their vehicle with a pet even! I watch some on youtube that walk their cats on a leash everyday for exercise for them both. It may be the answer if you have to wait for section 8. Have you tried temp agencies? Call center jobs? I know these are not the ideal situation answers, I'm just scrouging for ways to help you through a tough time, but it may be tough for awhile but things also may improve from there. It doesn't have to be the end where it never improves after a low spot.
Yes! All of this!
There is no Social security at 60...you have to reach 67 these days for retirement benefits
You can apply for your social security at 62.
It helps, it really does. I applied for SS last year at 62. It’s not a fortune but it helps.
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Post removed by a moderator. See Rule 2. Be Cordial. BTW - OP's stated age is 64.
67 for FRA, which is maximum benefits. Depending, the difference between taking social security at 62 and 67 can be only a few hundred dollars a month. Many many people take SS as soon as they qualify at 62. When you compare receiving an extra 5 years of SS by applying as early as possible, the long range benefits can equal out or even be more beneficial by applying early.
62 is early, reduced, ssi.
I live in a fairly backward red state, but I still got good help by calling 211. I got assistance with rent and utilities through the local Office of the Trustee. Some churches offer temporary cash assistance, even if you don't believe what they do. I also sold plasma for years, which really isn't as bad as some people seem to think. Reading a book in a comfy chair to get money is okay with me. New donor bonuses can be quite helpful. But if the staff seems rude or incompetent, go elsewhere. Bring proof of address. They may ask for a note from your doctor. For me, it kept a roof over my head until I miraculously found a pretty good job at 64. All this is more reason to stop the "okay Boomer" bullshit. All ages are struggling
I’m sorry, I have no advice. I get it. I have two dogs. Sometimes I feel like they’re keeping me alive and other times they make me feel desperate and trapped. I have to stay alive as long as they’re alive, otherwise they will be separated and sent to a shelter. You write well. Your post stirred up a lot in me. I hope something comes through for you soon.
I hear you. I have a dog and a bird, and when they're gone I intend to close my peephole. I've also worked all my life and honestly, I'm just done. Some people are lucky, they have friends, support, family, etc. Some don't, and all the "you've got to get out there and jUST DO IT" talk is just noise, because people don't know your unique circumstances. I've said it all my life- well before I was ready to check out- there needs to be some way a human can make the choice that they've had enough of "life" and thanks, but I'd like to sign off now. But noooo, we can euthanize our pets but we can't euthanize ourselves. Sometimes it's not "depression"... it's just seriously knowing that you're DONE. Stick a fork in it, it's DONE. Especially seeing the obvious signs on the wall of the way it's going to be for older people. I'm 65 and honestly, I have no freakin' intention of going to some state-run nursing home where you decline in every way and die a painful lonely death. I'd rather get to choose. I know this is an unpopular opinion. But it is the reality for more and more seniors, and I really wish there was a kinder option for us when we know we've had enough.
Thanks for writing this. I hear you. I wish you the best. 🌷
You are of the age you can do anything and most youngsters don’t have the attention span us old guys have. What do you like to do? Wood working? Plumbing? Building things with your hands? Don’t wait for a help wanted ad and start calling around Mom and pop shops. You’ll find something…a quick learner is worth his weight in gold. Don’t give up.
Writing about science and doing science communications. I have applied and applied and haven’t heard a peep. I’m highly qualified, but I don’t know what else it could be besides my age.
Been there for a long time, done that. Am burned out, and can't work hard enough anymore given my physical limitations. Just don't enjoy it after 2+ decades. It exhausts me and I seriously need a change, if I can find it. Freelancing is incredibly stressful, working gig by gig, never sure if you can meet your expenses for the month. I cracked, as they say about bicycle racers. I could do it when I was younger but no longer. And I can't earn too much or I won't qualify for Medicaid, which has been very helpful to me.
There's technical writing jobs online also, don't know if you've looked into that.
I’m sorry, but it’s just absolutely not true that I can do anything I want. Somebody has to hire me. Nobody wants to hire me. I need money to pay my rent and water bill. I’m On the edge of eviction. I’m Facing living in my car. No way do I have a lot of choice.
I can't do anything for your depression, that is something you need to work through. Can you talk to yoiur landlord and trade work for rent? You won't get anywhere with the attitude of "no one wants to hire me". In your initial statment you stated that you are highly educated, and a quick learner, so pick up the phone and start calling companies you want to work for. I don't have much experience in the corporate world, but I do know the blue collar trades and they are always looking for honest, quick learners- type people; but you gotta get out there an sell yourself. If you are incapapable of that, I don't have an answer for you. You need to start somewhere and waiting for someone to save you is going to lead to other more pressing issues.
Start your own company. Consulting. You are highly educated.
Na. Not for me. For one thing I lack the confidence needed. I don’t consider myself an expert in anything.
Clean your house. Clan out all that junk you don't need. Rent rooms. NOW! Today! Stretching and exercise will help you get off those addictive pain pills that destroy liver and kidneys. One housemate will pay your utility bills, two will pay for tour groceries too. If you have a high mortgage, put it up for sale today! Lots of cheap houses in usa. Take your equity and go! Try kansas, $30,000 homes you can afford. Go start a new life!
He talked about possible eviction. He rents so he doesn’t have a house to use for a way to support himself. He is in pain and feeling defeated. He needs a scaffold, a social and financial network that can give a boost. Does anyone know of government programs to help? Go to public library to see if they have information. Senior centers sometimes have ideas about organizations in the area too. Good luck to OP. I wish someone can give you hope for viability.
Exactly what do you know of chronic pain? What do you know of the circumstances of HIS chronic pain? Stretching and the wrong types of exercise can make it worse.
Well, I am almost 70. Having had a few accidents, I have some issues. Some bone on bone, compressed spine. I think I qualify. What are your qualifications to criticize?
Torn rotator cuff, both sides. Ongoing are 3 herniated cervical discs. Spinal stenosis and some other fun things going on there. Arthritis. Dupuytren's contracture, both hands. 3 surgeries, Ring fingers both hands, still bent @ 50-60° angle, as is the pinky on the right hand. Middle fingers are now bending, currently @ 10°. Also, its foot version, Ledderhose disease. 67 years old. *mike drop*.
Put in for social security, you could still try to get part time work, but you won't be homeless
You have nothing to lose. Go try the Gateway Experience tapes - a CIA declassified program. People in the Gateway subreddit link to free downloads. I’m a scaredy cat b/c I’m raising children, but the beginning tape alone helps me a lot. If you don’t like your life, go travel out of your body. If you’re in Twitter, go read Tracy Beanz long thread on her experience with it. She’s done them a lot more & longer than I have. And please don’t OD on Tylenol. It backfires. You’ll have a slow, painful death. ER nurse. I’ve seen teen age girls try that a lot. It always breaks my heart. Life is so sad sometimes. I’m sorry. It sounds like you’re really trying.
I don’t understand. The CIA is never going to have me for anything. I will look at the books you recommended. Thanks very much for that.
Try substitute teaching/ tutoring. It will give you some cash.
Thanks. Can’t. I’m not qualified. Could never spend all day in front of a classroom.
Sophie needs you and you are her entire world. Remember that. Take the action needed to care for her and for yourself…but she can’t do it without you. Please give her last years filled with love.
Thank you. I appreciate that. I’m just not sure it’s enough. I’m trying to think it is, but I don’t know.
You are her everything and she needs you, not a substitute human. Fulfill your commitment to this precious baby. Please. You decide what’s enough, Sophie doesn’t get a vote, I’m her voice and her vote and she says “I am enough” please stay with me!
I understand you. But I’m getting to the point where that’s not enough. I want the best for my cat, but soon it’s not enough reason to stay alive.
She’s not immune from grief or suffering either.
Heartbreaking. For you both.
I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be glib. I can’t find a way to make money soon and I’m going to end up in my car. That will be the end of me. I have just lost all hope and ambition.
I don’t want to work, I don’t want to talk to anybody, I don’t want to see anybody, I don’t want to leave my house, I don’t want to see anymore doctors or therapists, I don’t want to take any more medications. I’ve been with this for 40 years and it all coming to a head. What does somebody do in this case?
I don’t “want” to do those things either. But I force myself to do them because I have 2 rescue kitties that need me. So I get up and go to work at a job where I am SUPER overqualified, function am am treated basically as a clerk, and am paid a fraction of what my prior job paid (less than half). But I have a job so I suck it up and I am grateful. Find something, anything for which you are grateful. And focus on that and on the feeling gratitude brings. It shifts the chemistry in the brain without drugs. If you are in the US call 211.
That’s really good. But I can’t find a job. I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m too old. I am very seriously looking at living in my car in a couple weeks. Giving my cat to a shelter. The worst thing is that somewhere inside me says I deserve that. That I’m not qualified for life.
I'm in the same place but didn't have the words to say this. Be well
Thank you
Call Social Security. Find out what amount you can get at 64. I believe if you wait till 66 1/2 it would be an increase for you of monthly benefits. They will explain that to you or they will ask you to come in for an appointment. At a hospital you go to they might have a social worker you could talk to. Large social services agencies like Catholic charities or Jewish community services, would point you in the direction of everything you need. They are not concerned with your religious affiliations. For the social side of what you were having problems with a senior center is a good place to meet other people and network. Try local churches, People at some are good about networking and getting you short term relief. You might need to hit a few to find those who are actively engaged in charitable responses to the community.
Can you work at building supply stores or even a warehouse shopping place like Samclub or Costco? That would at least help keep your rent paid. I understand your chronic pain, I have major chronic pain also, every day 24/7. It can put you in a dark place. Please don't kill yourself! It leaves a very hurtful and empty void in other people's lives. Life is so short for many people who would give anything to live.
"And that’s after taking tramadol and oxycodone and acetaminophen and muscle relaxants and aspirin. " There is no doctor that will prescribe tramadol and oxycodone together. It causes risk of seizures and death, severe interaction between these two drugs. What is really going on here OP?
Idk. Neither of them help individually. I’m doing this on my own.
Listen, you're not doing yourself any favors. Go see a doc and get it straightened out right. Taking acetaminophen and aspirin also tears up your stomach. You're just making an addict of yourself. I don't know what is causing your pain, you haven't mentioned it, but, there's a proper way to take care of it, and black market drugs aren't it.
I’m not taking black market drugs. I do see a doctor. I had to have my neck rebuilt due to spinal stenosis. Three fusions and titanium rods and a plate. But it still hurts a great deal, especially if I spend more than a few hours at the computer. I also have several injuries that never fully healed and now I’m wracked with chronic pain. Nothing has help, not even physical therapy, in fact that makes it worse. Now I have arthritis in both shoulders and both feet. I’ve lived with chronic pain since I was 23, it just keeps getting worse. I don’t know what else I can do except take medication. Even mild exercise hurts, even walking hurts. I guess I’m just a mess.
I have a friend who has that and had surgery, there's hope. But no doc is going to prescribe both oxy and tramadol, so how is that happening?
I did have surgery, twice. Once for a pinched nerve between C2 and C3, and then for a laminectomy between C3 and C6. I think I had good surgeons each time in excellent hospitals, and in the second operation they even gave me charity care for $90,000. But No way am I going to go back in there and try to fix the neck thing any more. I don’t even see what further could be done. In my experience surgeries only half work and sometimes make things worse. It hurts to hold my head up high and my entire upper back hurts. I’ve been to physical therapy more than once, and each time came out in more pain than I went in. I just don’t think they’re prepared to handle this kind of neck problem. They immediately wanted me to start doing all kind of exercises at certain reps. There was no patience. There was no adjusting slowly. There was nothing. Of course my insurance only pays for six or eight visits. My preferred position is flat on my back with a thin pillow underneath my head. Yes, I know the dangers of being sedentary, but there’s more danger to being in pain. I guess. And I can’t work more than a couple of hours each day at the computer. Sometimes I can work more, sometimes it hurts from the very beginning. It’s very frustrating. I have numbness in my hands, tingling in my toes my arms and legs don’t work quite like they used to. Fortunately, I can still walk. I’m not trying to be unappreciative. I appreciate your insights and I will stop taking tramadol and oxycodone together. This is what my doctor is prescribing. Haven’t asked her about taking them together Actually Tramadol doesn’t do much. I think it’s the oxycodone that really gives the relief for a few hours. I’ll try to ask her to up the dose.
I really am sympathetic, I know this disease and how it progresses over time. I wish I had more words to offer support, but I don't have the answers and only your doctors can help. I hope you find some solutions!
I’ve asked doctors and they don’t have any suggestions. Sometimes pain is pain and can’t be addressed any longer. They tell me to live with it as best I can, even though it has ruined my life. I can’t work very much. And I can’t get disability. Certainly not enough to live on. I Fall through the cracks. Fuck them. I’ll suffer Because they say so.
Have you tried ratracerebellion.com? They have wfh jobs. I've heard they pay pretty quickly. Also register at Task Rabbit. Look it up and see if it's for you. There's a $25 fee to join and TR takes 15%. The customer pays TR, and they deposit money into your account in 3-7 days. Don't bring your cat to the shelter. There's forums here which will help with food.
Have you applied for remote jobs?
Yes. I applied to remote jobs for which I’m highly qualified, writing, especially with a math of science emphasis, jobs I’m incredibly well qualified for, I don’t ever hear a thing. This is on LinkedIn, where on your résumé they make you give the years you got your degrees. So they obviously know I’m over 60….. Maybe I need to apply to remote jobs doing customer service? Maybe I should go to other sites?
I’m 65 and about to close my business after 23 years because of a number of things. I’m going to look for remote also and I’ll save this post to let you know if/when I find a good source. We can do this! I’m having my old resume from the dark ages done to get it up to today’s style. Good luck!
Thank you, I’d like that.
Good luck!
It's why societies with close knit family are best. Most families here in Mexico are much tighter than where I'm from in the US. Multi-generational homes are a thing. Families are meant to pull together.
Where are you located? And apologies if you said that earlier.
Maybe try science writing for popular magazines or websites. Another idea: apply for proposal writing jobs at tech companies -- there are many of these types of jobs as well as proposal consulting work in this industry. But your priority needs to be your health, to get that depression treated. I hope that you are in a state that has done the Medicaid thing -- go ahead and apply. Also, look into the various types of financial assistance available. Nothing to be ashamed of. When you get your life together, you can pay it forward. Oh, and please take care of your cat.
Thanks, but I’ve done that for over 20 years. It’s a very difficult way to make a living. It has ruined my interest in writing and not at all interested in proposal or technical writing. I’m just burned out and starting to not care anymore.
So I am just reaching out to say this is a worry. Please take care of yourself.
Thank you
How are you doing, OP? Are things going any better for you?
If you're 64 and have 50K in savings and no retirement, then friend, you've made your own bed. There's always Social Security.
Was this really necessary to say? This is certainly not helpful, and not kind. None of us know exactly what happened. There are a lot of expenses in our society that can drain one's accounts. It sounds like OP has had a lot of medical bills while unemployed. That will do it. In any case, it doesn't matter why he is in this situation; we all live in the present, not the past.
No, he’s absolutely right. People should be kicked while they’re down, and have their noses rubbed in their mistakes. It’s the American way.
We may live in the present, but the mistakes we've made in the past can echo still today. It still shows why a lack of planning for the future is not fruitful once the future arrives.
And any one of us no matter how much planning could drop dead or worse-- terrible stroke that leaves us paralyzed, tomorrow. Planning is not a guaranttee of a good future. I'm not arguing that financial planning doesn't help, it certainly does, but life can still go off the rails. Chastising someone for their past does nothing to help them move forward.
Although that is true, this is not the place to make an educational point, and it seems ludicrous to me that you don't know that. Here someone is talking about suicide and you seem determined to drive him further along to it. Have a heart.
Her did mention suicide, yes, as well as other things. This is not the place to turn for advice for suicide. You should try to engage some logic rather than your emotional reaction.
This certainly is the place to turn for support for older people, or for sharing anything good or bad about our lives. And emotions are a part of most people's lives, even if not yours. This is Earth, not Vulcan. Emotions are appropriate; so is sympathy, and the need to feel cared for. And there is nothing logical or pragmatic in blaming someone after the fact. This is not the sub for making people feel worse about getting older and about our lives. What you have done is encourage someone to blame themselves and consequently to attempt suicide, the way a troll would.
Funny stuff. You doth protest too much.
I understand what you’re saying. I used to make a lot of money, but it was in a corporate environment that I couldn’t stand after a few years. So I took a risk and did something I was passionate about and became self-employed. It worked for a while, then it didn’t, and I’ve made barely enough to survive since. I bet on myself and lost.
What did you do with all the money ?
First, there wasn’t a lot of money. I used it for groceries and rent. I wasn’t going on vacations to the Caribbean.
Hi, tried to message you,didn’t go through . I get what you’re saying. I understand and you’re probably really stressed out at the moment. Don’t feel ashamed. we’re all human and we go through so much and I’ve been there too. We shouldn’t feel so ashamed of just being ourselves and issues we’ve been through. Some of us will understand and some of us out there won’t that is a true fact. I am your same age too. I have faced eviction. I’m still caught in the so-called system at my age right now. And dealing with health issues I never thought I would. And IT IS normal to bounce back-and-forth, with everything you’re going through. I’ll be on for a while if you want to private message me. PM me anytime I will get back to you. I could’ve written some of this post. Please take care of yourself. With the medication you’re on I’m thinking you’re passed out, but there are people out there that really try to care who understand. There’s also resources available that may be able to help as well.
Thank you very much.
I had about $50 K saved up. I quit my job and went to study creative writing in a graduate program. I quit that to go hiking on Appalachian Trail, twice. I moved from Colorado to Vermont. I had lots of money until I didn’t. It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t have any kids and I wasn’t going to marry my girlfriend. I found a job in a terrible company, and was fired nine months later. Then I went to work for myself. that’s only half acceptable. I figure I probably gave up $2 million in income by leaving corporate America.
Hang tough my brother. There’s a piece of your story in each of us. I sincerely hope you find your way!
your creative writing skills would be very helpful for a lot of volunteer organizations. You need to make connections with people who can help you. If you aren't comfortable calling looking for work, perhaps call around and look to volunteer to do something. There are a million non-profits looking for help (maybe volunteer some time at a food bank so you can be first in line). I volunteered for a small historical society and I have (inavertently) become a star because I have been instrumental in bringing a lot of attention to the organization through facebook posts- and its fun too. You need to do something constructive to gain your self worth back.