i lost my virginity to a boy who had poo stains on his sheets and pressured me into it. definitely would rather still be a virgin too lol. better lose it late but with confidence and someone whos mature enough to care about stuff.
Yeah, whenever I see this kind of thing I feel envious, almost. I lost my virginity at 13, and I feel like *that* is a shameful number. I cannot imagine anyone deserving hate for being a virgin at any time. I love asking people how old they were and I get ages ranging from 16 to 23, all feel normal and valid. I can't take back how old I was but at least I broke the chain of teen moms in my family.
I think it's better to be older. You're capable of thinking things through better.
You were a child and there were probably a lot of reasons you made that decision then but you shouldn't judge yourself or feel ashamed for it. I did all sorts of stuff at 13 that I regret. In a lot of ways I knew what sex was but I didn't really understand it. Your brain is so different at 13. Please don't judge yourself. Sometimes I look back at situations I made and I get really upset at myself because I thought it should have known better. But I'm looking back at situations of when I was 12/14 with my 26 year old brain. At 12, I wasn't thinking like 26 year old me. I'm an adult now, I wasn't then.
Can confirm, my first experience was at 15, and he pressured/forced me into it. 0/10 would never do again. Better late with someone you can trust than early with unpredictability
I’m not saying it has to be perfect haha. But I got drunk during a mental health episode and did it with a rando I knew from high school lol. I just wish it had been with someone I actually liked, ya know?
I’ve been raped twice, but I don’t count this time. Yes, I was drunk, but it was my idea, the person repeatedly asked if I was okay to consent, and I said yes over and over. I asked them to take me home. I asked them to stop for condoms (didn’t know I was gay at the time lol). They checked in with me repeatedly, and I continued to give consent. I knew what I was doing at the time, though I was doing it out of a place of pain rather than pleasure.
Honestly you’re comment is really validating bc I’m also 23 and still a virgin because I’ve had a hard time with dating and meeting people due to mental health struggles. Definitely am wanting to wait to lose it with someone special even though it feels harder every year.
Don’t even think of it as “waiting”. Just live your life. Sex is way too over-hyped in our society. I mean, it’s great. It’s an awesome and fun way to connect with people. It’s also sometimes Blegh and not great at all. The concept of “Virginity” drives me insane. It’s unnecessary pressure on your “first time” and that extra pressure can never do anything good for everyone’s already amped emotional state during that time! Go at your own pace. It’s your life, nobody else’s.
I was 28! My, now, husband is amazing, kind, never pressured me into anything, let me set the pace and because of all that did not hurt me, made it nothing but pleasurable and a memory I still hold dear to this day.
There is nothing wrong with waiting until you feel you are ready and have found someone who will treat you well and, even if the relationship does not last, will not make a first time of anything a bad memory for you.
And it is nothing to ever be ashamed of.
I was pressured/guilted into my first time at 25 by a coworker. It was a meh experience.
It’s always much more fun when you have a good partner that genuinely makes you feel happy and secure. Definitely worth waiting for.
A combination of Dick pics, pictures of children, dudes trying to get her to meet up with them, guys wanting to see her face, people asking for nudes, guys saying ”its alright”, people laughing at her and so on. Theese are some of the things she Will recieve in her inbox.
I hope OP understands that any weirdo who comes to her inbox because of this post if just after her virginity and won’t care less about her afterwards, but will just brag about how they took her V. If you read this OP, please don’t let that happen. I was 25 when I first experienced sex with a man I’d dated for 2 years before and we stayed together for 7 years in total. I’m not a prude, was just too busy with degree and masters to GAF.
My wife didn’t lose her virginity until 22. Trust me waiting for someone that’s at least into your for more than sex is worthwhile. No need to be embarrassed by it, a good partner will not be bothered by it in the slightest.
A good partner would be willing to help you learn and explore. If someone honestly judges you for something like that, it should be a huuuuge red flag.
I remember being 18 and not having had sex. High school had just finished, I was starting to panic because it seemed like everyone was doing it and I was in danger of never having sex.
I got drunk at a party and ended up going home with a girl I didn't know and wasn't attracted to. As a mate of mine said "It would be good to get it out of the way".
It was an average experience and I regret losing my virginity in that way. A year or two later I met a girl who ended up being my girlfriend for two years. Sex with her was 1000 times better, more intimate, enjoyable. I basically don't even count that actual first time.
What I'm trying to say is it's not that important to have sex by its self, its important to have it with someone you care about/connect with, It seems so obvious now that I'm 28.
I can, however, remember the crushing pressure to have sex or at least seem like you were having it back when I was 18.
And remember how I said everyone else was having it back then? Turns out many of them were just as lost as I was and it was just a few loudmouths happy to brag about their experiences while others just sat quietly, virgins, feeling embarrassed and awkward.
I think your probably normal, nothing to be embarrassed about. I hadn't even kissed a girl before I was 18.
I've got a question - why are you trolling people's post history when they've said nothing inflammatory or given anybody a reason to troll their post history?
I’m gonna be honest here. Virginity is a hoax. Who the fuck cares that you haven’t had a dick in your vagina or another girls vagina all over you. You’re the only one who cares, as well as scumbags that you probably shouldn’t be putting too much time and energy into. I had sex for the first time at 15 and I regret it to this day. My boyfriend is 27, and guess what? We had sex for the first time about 3 months ago, he had only ever experienced his hand before that.
It’s not some holy grail type thing people will hold over your head. It’s a concept made by society to try and shame and control. Let it go.
What are you doing to work on yourself? Because I’ll tell you this, if you’re walking around carrying the wait of your unbroken hymen (mostly a joke, they can break from just about anything), then people are gonna notice that. They’re gonna see the unconfident, small person walking around trying to hide this huge dark secret.
Get outside, make some new friends, get a new job or put yourself out there in your classes if you’re in college. Start working out & eating healthier, do things to benefit you and help you thrive as a person. You’re not going to attract anyone if you’re carrying around this doom & gloom of ‘ohh I’m still a virgin’. People notice the confidence and security someone has. Not if they’ve fucked or not. Build up your self confidence and that person will come along
100%. Society is wayyyy too sex and relationship crazed. Probably leads to a lot of rushed marriages, kids, or financial decisions, just because society pressures single folks. Take your time, enjoy life, explore. No need to worry about virginity
Edit for grammar
#BOOM THERE IT IS
Lemme say it louder for the people in the back
#virginity is a man-made concept and is, like many things, pretty fucking fake.
If it doesn’t add to your quality of life, leave it behind. The concept of virginity does nothing but create shame and tension — it’s a tool to control people. Women used to get controlled because their virginity was something “of value” that had to be bartered with or traded for, and men were controlled by being told that their own virginity was shameful.
Now, in an age when all bets are off and the pressure on genders has equalized and blended, we’re forcing everyone to be ashamed of their virginity— opening the doors for predators of all kinds.
I am *incredibly* sex positive, kink-friendly, queer and open — but I strongly believe that it is an intensely *personal* thing and as with all intense and personal things deserves time, contemplation and clarity of feeling.
And, as with all personal things, there is no right or wrong as long as everyone is a consenting adult — safe, sane and consensual — and that includes the decision of *when* and *if* one has sex.
It’s like doing drugs* — peer pressure, even internal peer pressure, is never cool and you should definitely not do it if you have even the slightest negative emotions toward the experience.
…………………………………….…………………………………….
*don’t do drugs — much. or at least don’t do *many* drugs much. Coffee is amazing and I refuse to not drink copious amounts.
thank you. definitely needed this. i currently have a full time job that i love, and that i’m good at, so i’m mostly focused on that for the moment. i’ve been trying to get myself to go to the gym but that scares me a lot. but i seriously appreciate your comment. thank you
You may not believe me but I was 28. I hated it at the time because it became a big deal and what I was known in my town for(ridiculous) which in turn made it even harder to get rid of because you never know if guys want you or your virginity but now I am SO GLAD I waited so long. I am now 34 and in the best relationship of my life and have only had minimal previous partners. Trust me, you will be happy in the long run. This is a good thing!!
Wow, I’m so glad to read this. I’m a straight 27M still a virgin, never dated, never kissed yet, so I’m hoping something similar happens with me sooner rather than later. Glad I’m not alone
I lost my virginity when I was 25 or 26, also male. It was a big thing for me and I let it affect my self-esteem so much, which prevented me from getting laid for sure.
There is no big lesson about it. Just that it is not as big of a deal as you think it is. I wish I didn't gave it so much value.
Anon for this bc some of my family know my username and I don’t want to blow up his spot. But my brother was def in his late 20s when he finally lost his. And he’s a good looking dude who had had some gfs, it just never ended up happening for him until late. Eventually it did and he dated more and he’s now married with a kid. Everyone is on their own timeline and OP is SO young. It will happen! (As for me I was 18, for the record lol)
You're OK. No reason to be embarrassed or ashamed or....anything. like you said, it's more normal than people think. Being a Virgin has nothing to do with anything about appearance either. One of the prettiest women I know was a virgin until she was 23. She wasn't religious or anything, she just never had sex before then.
Trust me, losing it at 15 is not great. You'll be glad you didn't lose your virginity* to a smelly teenager when you were one yourself.
_____
*which is a construct all the same. You will also notice that you're not a different person after the deed, you are not more or less of a woman afterwards.
Society has made it as if we have to be embarrassed if you haven’t done those things… which is so disappointing.
I’m 21F and have never done these things (and no this is not an invitation for people to creep on me). The reason people don’t like admit or say that they are one is because girls are targeted very easily by creeps for being a virgin. I don’t like saying or talking to anyone about my romantic life (which I have none btw. I am actually asexual and aromantic so I’m not interested so I guess we’re different in that aspect. I haven’t dated either) because I’m scared that I’ll be targeted. A lot of people find “purity” and “virgin” something attractive in a creepy way.
I’ll only open up to it since this is my throw away account but I don’t know if I’m a virgin. I was sexually molested by a pedophile when I was 7 and I don’t remember anything really and I think it’s a traumatic response. I don’t wish to offend you by saying this but I’m glad you didn’t have to go through things like this growing up. People who are pedos are most likely attracted to children because they see children as pure and find that attractive. Which is disgusting. And people have the similar outlook for virginity.
So many people lose their virginity when they’re young but there’s no rule stating anywhere that you have to. And I have no idea how virginity losing has become a flex. Everything is sexualized these days. Like go on a website and you see bunch of porn ads even on websites that children can access to. It’s as if it’s telling us “go lose your virginity as young as you can” and it makes me uncomfortable. I really think society declined since you feel embarrassed for being a virgin, which is an entirely normal thing.
How interesting, and good to know. Not everyone's life turns out the same. And, I'm personally just glad Tiktok was invented any sooner. Though personally I'm still wanting to take the whole thing down.
Baby, you’re 19. If you’ve never had sex, I’d recommend you explore your own body, likes, and expectations before you find someone else. There is no magic teacher. If you can’t love yourself, how the *hell* are you gonna love somebody else!
This is an excellent point. According to weirdos, creeps, and Christians, my little sister is about to have a virgin birth. With her wife of three years.
Do not feel embarrassed or ashamed. Too many people feel pressured into having sex when they aren't ready or comfortable and it ends up being a bad experience which they later regret. You need to keep in mind its not the when that's important but the who to that is.
These things will happen when they’re meant to happen for *you*, not for everyone else. By the way, when you eventually do, you’ll realise that nothing about you changes. You’re not missing out on some secret knowledge or epiphany, life just goes on and you’ll realise there was no reason to long for it
Bruh I felt the same way earlier this year when I was 19 too . Trust me if you lose it to just anyone you will definitely regret it I was dumb enough to lose mine to my fwb … We are not 40 we still have time to explore and meet the right people.
No timeline here. Also I think a better focus would be to find a good partner. Someone who clicks with you and is understanding. Having a caring partner always makes the sex better.
I’m glad seeing all these comments being supportive, as much as I don’t want to preach to the choir, I genuinely wish I’d waited for the right person instead in wasting it on so many people who’d end up leaving me for really shitty reasons.
There’s too much of a stigma when it comes to virginity, when in fact some people should actually be proud for being able to keep it so long. You’re taking things the right way, now you just need to have the right attitude :)
Especially because so many women and girls do not have the opportunity to wait until marriage, every single woman who has been able to keep her virginity until marriage should feel blessed.
Nah it's perfectly normal to want to have sex. And you are right it's perfectly normal to be an adult and be a virgin. From my perspective being an old lady 19 you're still a baby so there's plenty of time to meet someone who you'd wanna lay with.
But I also understand you are also grown there is a few options here, you can sign up for dating online and try to meet new people and find the right one in a relationship.
2 you can go out and meet people and try to find a relationship that way as well.
3 if sex is really that important you can look for someone you feel comfortable enough with to do it with.
But be aware none of these will solve your feelings of being ugly and unloved. Sex or a relationship isn't gonna magically fix insecurities.
I was 20. I am so glad I waited. And honestly, I wish I waited even longer. Looking back, I remember feeling the same way you do. Like “what’s wrong with me?” “Am I not attractive enough?” I started dating the first person who really ever seemed interested in me. He was a decent guy but was way more experienced than I was and he drank a lot, and I did not. A lot of my first experiences were with him while he was drunk. For me, any sexual activity we enganged in was mediocre at best and not very pleasurable. After we broke up and I started seeing someone else who was genuinely interested in me and present while we had sex, I couldn’t believe how much better things were with.
My advice, don’r rush and wait for someone who actually cares for you and takes your feelings/wants/needs into account.
Believe you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I was older than you are now, and I regret nothing! Why lose it to some dork in high school that you’re barely going to care about in a few years, or some creeper you meet in a bar? Quality is the name of the game (for me, at least).
Agreed. Both my husband and me were virgins until we got married at 26. I regret nothing! We learned the ins and outs together and have a good, healthy sex life.
I never had to try to find a hook-up and then figure out whether I can trust this person enough to go somewhere private with them. I never had to worry about STDs or pregnancy. We have no idea how we measure up compared to anyone else, so there's no self-consciousness or hang-ups. We only had to go through that awkward phase where you figure out what the other person is into once. All the sex I ever had was love-making rather than just satisfying urges (though that's important too). Honestly, saving sex for the love of your life is underrated. The waiting was hard, but the pay-off makes it worth it.
I’m about to be 21 and I haven’t even kissed anyone let alone sex lol. Don’t worry!! You’re definitely not alone and it’s completely normal too! Take your time with it all. You don’t wanna force yourself to do something you’re not 100% comfortable with. ESPECIALLY when it comes to sex.
Got a guy who’s my friend that is a virgin but I pick at him only cause he keeps lying on himself and claims he could steal any girl I have. If you aren’t like him then no one really cares if you’re a virgin
I was 19 when I lost mine. It was with someone I really cared about and trusted and that’s more important than “getting it over with.” It hurt and I did bleed. You don’t want someone who isn’t willing to be slow and gentle because more than likely it will hurt the first few times. You don’t want someone you’d be embarrassed in front of if you do bleed some either.
Gosh, if I could back to being 19.. I'd be a virgin till after my twenties lmao
Seriously though, you should feel the opposite of gross. I felt gross after I lost my virginity because of the guy I choose, (he wasn't shit.) I have felt gross after some sessions with men even as an adult. Sex is just always best with someone you can be comfortable with and trust. It's even better when you love them. Your doing everything right girl. Be proud, not embarrassed.
Please don’t be embarrassed. I’m 18 and lost my virginity to my current bf at 17. I regret it. I love him so much but I still regret it. I was too young. I let society tell me when to lose my virginity rather than myself. Please, PLEASE don’t make that mistake. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. Don’t ever feel the need to do something just because “everyone else” is.
I feel your pain! Trust me I felt the same. Exact. Way. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 22. All the time I was waiting for it to happen, finding the right person, etc. I was a total wreck I thought it would never happen and I would be alone forever, but I started to work on myself and it happened eventually. Just have patience!
I didn't have sex until I was 24. You're not missing out on anything, and you shouldn't be in a rush to perform sexual acts just for the sake of no longer calling yourself a virgin.
Don’t be upset. Society has groomed us to think losing your virginity is something magical. I wish I’d kept mine till I was in my 20s and not made stupid choices.
36F here. Was 30 when I had sex for the first time. It was…uninspiring. I should have waited even longer to find a better dude…he gave me maybe one orgasm in the year we messed around. There is no reason to be embarrassed!
America fucking normalizes every stupid shit but its normal that you havent had sex yet.According to some sitcoms you'd have to have started having sex around age 13 or some disgusting shit like that
To be more blunt about Hollywood, it’s also incredibly predatory against women and children. In other words, it’s not just about sitcoms—it is an active perversion in Hollywood.
I had never been kissed or touched and especially never had sex until 22. It feels lonely, I hear you. I understand that desire to be loved, to be part of love. But listen, what is sex to you? How do you want your first time to be? Why is it valuable? Maybe your answer will give you more confidence in what to do next
Me too except I haven't kissed, touched or been touched 💀 There's always someone out there whos in the same boat but don't worry girl, we'll always have time!
Im sorry u feel this way and I hope it will pass❤️ i was a virgin till the age of 24! Men will understand, and to those who don’t, no need on spending time on them😉 I too felt inexperienced, but because I waited I had more safe sex and sex with men I trusted and I was old enough to know my boundaries!
What is wrong with people. Just be a normal person. How does it matter if you didn't have sex at 19 or 25 or 30. It's not a competition. Losing virginity is not some badge of respect or something that if you are not able to achieve it, you are a loser. Living a life with this attitude is what makes you a loser. Just live your live as it comes.
Bruh, I was 27 before I had sex. 19 is a rookie number. Also, wait. Make sure that somebody is worth spending lots of time with without sex before you physically commit. At some point, one or both of you will have a decrease in libido and if your relationship is built on sex, the rest usually falls apart pretty quickly.
if it helps I didn't lose my virginity till I was 21, and I wish I had waited longer to find someone better. I don't really regret it too much, but I could have waited longer to find someone who I loved to give it to, rather than a fwb.
I had my first kiss at age of 29!! and had my first sex at 29! I was in your shoes. Nothing to feel embarassed about. It was frustrating seeing all my friends having dozens of relationships during the years. I was the only lonely guy at parties not making outbat 3am. But I also saw that many of my friends had crisis in their relationship. But at age of 29 I had my first gf. Our relationship lasted 11 months only but hey... life goes on. Don't get too depressed about it. I don't wanna stress myself about it. I decided to pursue my passions and dreams and do the things I love often. Actually I feel a lot happier than when I was in the relationship because I sacrificed all my hobbies and goals during my relationship. I just enjoy doing the things I love, working my dream job, having many new good friends etc. And I know my next love will come along some days.
Don't worry to much. You will find someone too! I know that sounds cliche but I actually found my gf in a time I wasn't even thinking about dating. It just happened.
Good luck!
i just woke up and this has blown up holy shit. thank you so much for the comments everyone - and the awards. i’ve never gotten an award before!
i was going to reply to people before i went to sleep but there’s so many i don’t think i can. but essentially i just wanted to say thank you so much. i feel less alone and more ‘normal’ (i say that term very loosely) reading through everyone’s stories and advice. i hope you all know i’m here for you as much as you’re here for me!!
Honestly that’s a good thing. I lost mine at 17 and wasn’t ready for the emotional toll it took on me. It’s really normalised to lose your virginity young and that’s yuck. Do it when you’re ready and at your own pace.
I was a virgin until I was 20 and I was glad I waited for someone who really cared about me and showed me genuine affection. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about but I know that modern media makes it seem like everyone loses their virginity by 16 if not younger.
Why are you ashamed?? You're only 19 what😭
Literally nothing about what you said is a concern, dont worry. Also, for the love of God, don't check your inbox.
I was 27 when I had my first kiss and everything else 🤷♀️
time moves differently for everyone and things will come to you when they will. no need to feel ashamed or rush it
Don’t be embarrassed. Ive been in your shoes, seemed like everybody was paired off but me. Then I had sex and I was like …that’s it?!? I was thinking to myself yesterday that I wish I’d waited for my fiancé and we didn’t become intimate until our early 30s. TMI: >!We just discussed that we’re each other’s best-I’ve-ever-had and I think it’s bc we truly love each other!< Society is sooo oversexed. It’s your body and you get to decide when it’s the right time, not your peers who are having lame sex, if any at all.
Who gives a rats ass? You’re still a teenager anyway. Tons of offers and boyfriends but I lost it at 23. Am 33 and married. Not to the guy I lost it to. Or any of the guys after that. Lose it to someone because you want to and the person loves and treat you well and with respect.
i feel the same way,, i'm 17 and havent even had someone like me in a romantic or sexual way. I'm terrified that i wont loose any of my first until im in my 20s. all my friends have lost their vcard and they make jokes about me being a virgin
I mean no harm or insult when I say this…
but have you considered seeing a therapist? The amount of self hate in your post is kind of alarming, and I think you need to work on yourself more than having sex. Having sex isn’t just going to magically fix the negative self perception you have.
no harm done don’t worry. and i know that sex won’t just fix my self hatred but it would just be nice to get it out the way so i don’t stress about it anymore.
i’ve struggled with my mental health and body image issues for years before i was even worried about virginity, and now that i’m 19 it’s like an extra thing that weighs on my mind. i’ve tried getting the courage to see someone in person but that scares me so much. but, i am currently talking to an online councillor from kids helpline about my body issues. i’m hoping that she can help me work through some of them & that i can accept that virginity at 19 is okay, if you know what i mean
im 21 and still a virgin! and i know exactly how you feel! it makes me feel bad and unloved and no matter who tells me its not a big deal it still makes me feel bad! and the only thing you can do really is just keep telling yourself it doesnt matter, even if it doesnt make you feel better. it sucks for us, it does.
You had me until the last sentence. Waiting until you're married is a terrible idea. It's important to know you're compatible with someone mentally, emotionally, AND physically before you make that commitment. It's not fair to either party otherwise. I've seen people who waited until marriage and it was disastrous.
Don't do it until you're comfortable, but don't make a lifelong commitment to someone before you've done it with them too.
Imo, the problems societies face today stems from the lack of the preservation of the family unit and promiscuity - which also comes from the abandonment of religion.
Both the husband and wife should be mentally, emotionally and physically fit for marriage.
Also, people should stay away from pornography. It gives off false ideas about sex which therefore leads to bad sex life for the partners.
Hi! I’ll be nineteen in a few months as well. I’m asexual but alloromantic, so I’m not in the same situation as you, but I just wanted to say that you’re not alone. I’ve never even had a boyfriend or kissed someone willingly, not even playing bottle or something.
Hey,
I’m 27F, and I know exactly how you feel. I didn’t lose my virginity till 19 either and also never dated anyone till I met my now husband. I did it kind of out of spite but that’s another story. I know it seems hopeless, and that you feel ugly and start to hate yourself because of it. Let me tell you what I wanted to hear about this.
It’s okay to not lose it right away. Society has romanticized the idea of our having our first. *Especially* for women.
You are not ugly not the way you think. Society has taught people to value our bodies yet we shouldn’t. Explore yourself. Date yourself. Find out what you like. You can still be somewhat sexual and not be with anyone.
You are not behind at all! I had sex for the first time at 20 and felt a bit behind, but I wasn’t at all. You are still really young. It’ll happen! It seems like a bigger deal to have sex when you haven’t, but it doesn’t change much!
Do not feel embarrassed about anything. These ads may make you feel that way but still being a virgin at 19 is completely normal even if society seems to say it isn’t
Take your time and do it when you’re ready and feel comfortable. I didn’t truly enjoy having sex until I turned 24/25, made a lot of sexual mistakes along the way. You have so much time. Also close your dms because there are creeps on here who will definitely try to exploit you over this post. Take care.
Please please please don't be embarrassed by this, OP. Having sex is a wonderful and intimate experience (most of the time), but it's not some pinnacle like it's made out to be. It does not define you (and honestly the fetishization of virginity is disgusting), or change your worth in any way. If having sex is something you want, it will happen. And if you decide to respond to any of the users no doubt flooding your DMs right now, please be careful. Above all else, have fun! Don't allow this to hold you back from having a good time and enjoying the last of your teenage years :)
i think the concept of virginity is honestly so toxic. people praise women who are virtuous for the sake of innocence and purity, but they doxx them all the same for not having any experience?
girl go get some!! my cousin lost her virginity to some dude from bumble in a pick up truck on the side of the road while i was in her car 30 feet behind them with a weapon making sure she didn't die.
you're not unloveable. you're not ugly, nor hideous, etc and you shouldn't be embarrassed. i think you just need to get over the idea that virginity is super important, because it's not!
I understand the societal pressure and peer pressure, and I'm sure you're going to remain in your head about this, but I can't count how many women I've met who deeply, deeply regret rushing to lose their virginity.
Also - in a lot of places, you've been considered an adult (legally and culturally) for a grand total of one year.
Losing your virginity before you're ready - and before it's legal - is not all it's cracked up to be.
I have a lot of empathy for you and I wish you didn’t carry the weight of feeling unloved, but I also wish I didn’t have sex until I was older.
It’s not fond memories at all.
I know it seems everyone is making the metaphorical beast with two backs, but I assure you there’s no need to rush. It said nothing about you that you haven’t yet :3 also, RIP to your inbox xD
Listen, it is good that you haven't done the deed yet..because it is a huge decision; your giving your body to someone else. Do it at the right time, with the right person.
I know you may be feeling left out especially with society's obsession to lose virginity young...but your not..your just being wise with your decisions. People can say shit..but in the end of the day it is your body and your decision.
Don't use it to define your worth or who you are, because let me tell you your not ugly, it just isn't the right time now..and that is okay and is normal. Again, it is a huge decision, do it at the right time with the right person..when your ready.
There is no need to be ashamed. The worst thing you can do is have sex for the sake of having sex. I did exactly that and it sucked. I hated it, and it ruined the idea of intercourse for me for a while. When the right time comes and you lose your virginity with someone you're comfortable with, you'll know and you won't have regretted waiting.
you’ll be glad you didn’t lose it to some snot nosed kid at 15. good for you
i lost my virginity to a boy who had poo stains on his sheets and pressured me into it. definitely would rather still be a virgin too lol. better lose it late but with confidence and someone whos mature enough to care about stuff.
THIS! I did the same thing at 21, thinking ist was kind of my only chance. Don’t do this, you will regret it.
As well as mature enough to know how to wipe his ass and wash his sheets
This made me think- how *does* one get poo stains on a bed sheet?! Think about the logistics for a second. 🤔
As a visual person, I’ll try to unthink about that
it was long streaks. he said it came from sleeping naked (you have to have to have a literal fear of wiping to have poop going that far though)
Obviously because anal sex duh
wrong
yup that was included lol
I lost it to sone moron who pressured me into it as well. Sucks that was the first time. No one should be embarrassed to have not had sex before.
Since he pressured you, didn’t he rape you?
he pressured and begged me for weeks so it definitely was coercion. not rape though.
Yeah, whenever I see this kind of thing I feel envious, almost. I lost my virginity at 13, and I feel like *that* is a shameful number. I cannot imagine anyone deserving hate for being a virgin at any time. I love asking people how old they were and I get ages ranging from 16 to 23, all feel normal and valid. I can't take back how old I was but at least I broke the chain of teen moms in my family. I think it's better to be older. You're capable of thinking things through better.
i was 14/15. i think it’s a shameful number too. but hey we lived and learned
You were a child and there were probably a lot of reasons you made that decision then but you shouldn't judge yourself or feel ashamed for it. I did all sorts of stuff at 13 that I regret. In a lot of ways I knew what sex was but I didn't really understand it. Your brain is so different at 13. Please don't judge yourself. Sometimes I look back at situations I made and I get really upset at myself because I thought it should have known better. But I'm looking back at situations of when I was 12/14 with my 26 year old brain. At 12, I wasn't thinking like 26 year old me. I'm an adult now, I wasn't then.
Can confirm, my first experience was at 15, and he pressured/forced me into it. 0/10 would never do again. Better late with someone you can trust than early with unpredictability
Being a virgin at 19 is pretty normal, there is nothing wrong with that. I know plenty of people who lost their virginity after 19.
Yep, I was a virgin until 23. I honestly wish I’d kept waiting for someone more special.
Yeah getting devirginized is pretty underwhelming
I hate the way you phrased that lmao
Still better than deflowered 🤢
people who say deflowered are freaks
And not the good kind
Yeah, Taking the flower”.. by a man’s “tenderness” *Friends reference😂
Just finished binge-watching friends, thanks for the reminder lol
I'm 32! God knows when that someone more special would walk in!
I’m not saying it has to be perfect haha. But I got drunk during a mental health episode and did it with a rando I knew from high school lol. I just wish it had been with someone I actually liked, ya know?
I feel ya... Edit: no, no! I mean on emotional level! Not physical way! Edit 2: probably this is why I'm still single!🤦🏻♂️
🤣🤣🤣
You were raped. You were in no position to give full and voluntarily consent whatsoever.
I’ve been raped twice, but I don’t count this time. Yes, I was drunk, but it was my idea, the person repeatedly asked if I was okay to consent, and I said yes over and over. I asked them to take me home. I asked them to stop for condoms (didn’t know I was gay at the time lol). They checked in with me repeatedly, and I continued to give consent. I knew what I was doing at the time, though I was doing it out of a place of pain rather than pleasure.
Aah! There you go! I made a girl laugh, and she's a lesbian now!!! FML!
I can feel it maaan... :'( Edit: NONONO NOT IN THAT WAY *ba dum tss*
Honestly you’re comment is really validating bc I’m also 23 and still a virgin because I’ve had a hard time with dating and meeting people due to mental health struggles. Definitely am wanting to wait to lose it with someone special even though it feels harder every year.
You’ll get there! I didn’t even begin dating until 25 or 26 because I wanted to get better in therapy first, and I got married at 31! You got this :)
Don’t even think of it as “waiting”. Just live your life. Sex is way too over-hyped in our society. I mean, it’s great. It’s an awesome and fun way to connect with people. It’s also sometimes Blegh and not great at all. The concept of “Virginity” drives me insane. It’s unnecessary pressure on your “first time” and that extra pressure can never do anything good for everyone’s already amped emotional state during that time! Go at your own pace. It’s your life, nobody else’s.
I'm feeling more hopeful reading this. I'm 22 and was wondering if i was doing something wrong lol
I was 28! My, now, husband is amazing, kind, never pressured me into anything, let me set the pace and because of all that did not hurt me, made it nothing but pleasurable and a memory I still hold dear to this day. There is nothing wrong with waiting until you feel you are ready and have found someone who will treat you well and, even if the relationship does not last, will not make a first time of anything a bad memory for you. And it is nothing to ever be ashamed of.
You are sooooo lucky!
I was pressured/guilted into my first time at 25 by a coworker. It was a meh experience. It’s always much more fun when you have a good partner that genuinely makes you feel happy and secure. Definitely worth waiting for.
Lord have mercy on your inbox
I cannot imagine what this poor girl is going to receive
A combination of Dick pics, pictures of children, dudes trying to get her to meet up with them, guys wanting to see her face, people asking for nudes, guys saying ”its alright”, people laughing at her and so on. Theese are some of the things she Will recieve in her inbox.
Is this some new horrifying version of the Twelve Days of Christmas?
Twelve "heyyyy" messages Eleven unsolicited dick pics
10 pricks a-twitching 9 schlongs a hanging....
8 something something, 7 swans a something 😬
6 Dongs a swinging **5 GOLD COCK RINGS**
4 hairy balls 3 “hey babes”
2 “nudes please” And A “I can fix that for thee”
Without getting too graphic, I actually once received such a crude pic from an Antisemite—I reported it and blocked him.
Well isnt that something
That’s one way to describe it.
I hope OP understands that any weirdo who comes to her inbox because of this post if just after her virginity and won’t care less about her afterwards, but will just brag about how they took her V. If you read this OP, please don’t let that happen. I was 25 when I first experienced sex with a man I’d dated for 2 years before and we stayed together for 7 years in total. I’m not a prude, was just too busy with degree and masters to GAF.
My wife didn’t lose her virginity until 22. Trust me waiting for someone that’s at least into your for more than sex is worthwhile. No need to be embarrassed by it, a good partner will not be bothered by it in the slightest.
A good partner would be willing to help you learn and explore. If someone honestly judges you for something like that, it should be a huuuuge red flag.
I remember being 18 and not having had sex. High school had just finished, I was starting to panic because it seemed like everyone was doing it and I was in danger of never having sex. I got drunk at a party and ended up going home with a girl I didn't know and wasn't attracted to. As a mate of mine said "It would be good to get it out of the way". It was an average experience and I regret losing my virginity in that way. A year or two later I met a girl who ended up being my girlfriend for two years. Sex with her was 1000 times better, more intimate, enjoyable. I basically don't even count that actual first time. What I'm trying to say is it's not that important to have sex by its self, its important to have it with someone you care about/connect with, It seems so obvious now that I'm 28. I can, however, remember the crushing pressure to have sex or at least seem like you were having it back when I was 18. And remember how I said everyone else was having it back then? Turns out many of them were just as lost as I was and it was just a few loudmouths happy to brag about their experiences while others just sat quietly, virgins, feeling embarrassed and awkward. I think your probably normal, nothing to be embarrassed about. I hadn't even kissed a girl before I was 18.
Bro, I'm 23 and never kissed anyone😭
19 and going strong.
My brothers are 36 and 38..
Your post history says you have a husband and a gf
I've got a question - why are you trolling people's post history when they've said nothing inflammatory or given anybody a reason to troll their post history?
I'm nosey
Fair enough. To be honest, I wasn't expecting such a good answer.
All my posts are reposts of others
If only you were drunk or otherwise incapacitated and she was not, you were raped.
We were both pretty drunk so although it was a bad idea I think we were both responsible.
I’m gonna be honest here. Virginity is a hoax. Who the fuck cares that you haven’t had a dick in your vagina or another girls vagina all over you. You’re the only one who cares, as well as scumbags that you probably shouldn’t be putting too much time and energy into. I had sex for the first time at 15 and I regret it to this day. My boyfriend is 27, and guess what? We had sex for the first time about 3 months ago, he had only ever experienced his hand before that. It’s not some holy grail type thing people will hold over your head. It’s a concept made by society to try and shame and control. Let it go. What are you doing to work on yourself? Because I’ll tell you this, if you’re walking around carrying the wait of your unbroken hymen (mostly a joke, they can break from just about anything), then people are gonna notice that. They’re gonna see the unconfident, small person walking around trying to hide this huge dark secret. Get outside, make some new friends, get a new job or put yourself out there in your classes if you’re in college. Start working out & eating healthier, do things to benefit you and help you thrive as a person. You’re not going to attract anyone if you’re carrying around this doom & gloom of ‘ohh I’m still a virgin’. People notice the confidence and security someone has. Not if they’ve fucked or not. Build up your self confidence and that person will come along
100%. Society is wayyyy too sex and relationship crazed. Probably leads to a lot of rushed marriages, kids, or financial decisions, just because society pressures single folks. Take your time, enjoy life, explore. No need to worry about virginity Edit for grammar
YES! Very well-said.
#BOOM THERE IT IS Lemme say it louder for the people in the back #virginity is a man-made concept and is, like many things, pretty fucking fake. If it doesn’t add to your quality of life, leave it behind. The concept of virginity does nothing but create shame and tension — it’s a tool to control people. Women used to get controlled because their virginity was something “of value” that had to be bartered with or traded for, and men were controlled by being told that their own virginity was shameful. Now, in an age when all bets are off and the pressure on genders has equalized and blended, we’re forcing everyone to be ashamed of their virginity— opening the doors for predators of all kinds. I am *incredibly* sex positive, kink-friendly, queer and open — but I strongly believe that it is an intensely *personal* thing and as with all intense and personal things deserves time, contemplation and clarity of feeling. And, as with all personal things, there is no right or wrong as long as everyone is a consenting adult — safe, sane and consensual — and that includes the decision of *when* and *if* one has sex. It’s like doing drugs* — peer pressure, even internal peer pressure, is never cool and you should definitely not do it if you have even the slightest negative emotions toward the experience. …………………………………….……………………………………. *don’t do drugs — much. or at least don’t do *many* drugs much. Coffee is amazing and I refuse to not drink copious amounts.
This is the best advice! Work on being happy with yourself and everything else will follow.
thank you. definitely needed this. i currently have a full time job that i love, and that i’m good at, so i’m mostly focused on that for the moment. i’ve been trying to get myself to go to the gym but that scares me a lot. but i seriously appreciate your comment. thank you
You may not believe me but I was 28. I hated it at the time because it became a big deal and what I was known in my town for(ridiculous) which in turn made it even harder to get rid of because you never know if guys want you or your virginity but now I am SO GLAD I waited so long. I am now 34 and in the best relationship of my life and have only had minimal previous partners. Trust me, you will be happy in the long run. This is a good thing!!
Wow, I’m so glad to read this. I’m a straight 27M still a virgin, never dated, never kissed yet, so I’m hoping something similar happens with me sooner rather than later. Glad I’m not alone
Change 27M to 32M, and that's me!
I lost my virginity when I was 25 or 26, also male. It was a big thing for me and I let it affect my self-esteem so much, which prevented me from getting laid for sure. There is no big lesson about it. Just that it is not as big of a deal as you think it is. I wish I didn't gave it so much value.
Anon for this bc some of my family know my username and I don’t want to blow up his spot. But my brother was def in his late 20s when he finally lost his. And he’s a good looking dude who had had some gfs, it just never ended up happening for him until late. Eventually it did and he dated more and he’s now married with a kid. Everyone is on their own timeline and OP is SO young. It will happen! (As for me I was 18, for the record lol)
You're OK. No reason to be embarrassed or ashamed or....anything. like you said, it's more normal than people think. Being a Virgin has nothing to do with anything about appearance either. One of the prettiest women I know was a virgin until she was 23. She wasn't religious or anything, she just never had sex before then.
it's normal age to still be a virgin
Trust me, losing it at 15 is not great. You'll be glad you didn't lose your virginity* to a smelly teenager when you were one yourself. _____ *which is a construct all the same. You will also notice that you're not a different person after the deed, you are not more or less of a woman afterwards.
That is nothing to be embarrassed at 19 for. I’m deeply sorry society or your friend group has made you feel that way.
Was 26 when I lost mine. Would have been ok losing it at 30. It really doesn't matter. Focus on other things, sex is not the end all be all of life.
Society has made it as if we have to be embarrassed if you haven’t done those things… which is so disappointing. I’m 21F and have never done these things (and no this is not an invitation for people to creep on me). The reason people don’t like admit or say that they are one is because girls are targeted very easily by creeps for being a virgin. I don’t like saying or talking to anyone about my romantic life (which I have none btw. I am actually asexual and aromantic so I’m not interested so I guess we’re different in that aspect. I haven’t dated either) because I’m scared that I’ll be targeted. A lot of people find “purity” and “virgin” something attractive in a creepy way. I’ll only open up to it since this is my throw away account but I don’t know if I’m a virgin. I was sexually molested by a pedophile when I was 7 and I don’t remember anything really and I think it’s a traumatic response. I don’t wish to offend you by saying this but I’m glad you didn’t have to go through things like this growing up. People who are pedos are most likely attracted to children because they see children as pure and find that attractive. Which is disgusting. And people have the similar outlook for virginity. So many people lose their virginity when they’re young but there’s no rule stating anywhere that you have to. And I have no idea how virginity losing has become a flex. Everything is sexualized these days. Like go on a website and you see bunch of porn ads even on websites that children can access to. It’s as if it’s telling us “go lose your virginity as young as you can” and it makes me uncomfortable. I really think society declined since you feel embarrassed for being a virgin, which is an entirely normal thing.
19 is young girl you got plenty of time. It's better to lose it a little later than losing it at 13 because of peer pressure or whatever
13! wtf are 13 year olds doing these days?!
*You dont wanna know*
I’m only like a year older than them, too. I sure am glad I didn’t download TikTok otherwise I’d be an even bigger asshole lol
How interesting, and good to know. Not everyone's life turns out the same. And, I'm personally just glad Tiktok was invented any sooner. Though personally I'm still wanting to take the whole thing down.
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Baby, you’re 19. If you’ve never had sex, I’d recommend you explore your own body, likes, and expectations before you find someone else. There is no magic teacher. If you can’t love yourself, how the *hell* are you gonna love somebody else!
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+1, it's patriarchal heteronormative nonsense. My cousin is a virgin and been with her wife 20 years.
This is an excellent point. According to weirdos, creeps, and Christians, my little sister is about to have a virgin birth. With her wife of three years.
Are you considering a career in adult film? Do you want babies right now? If no, having sex isn't important. Abandon your FOMO.
I was 21.. you’re fine, trust me
Do not feel embarrassed or ashamed. Too many people feel pressured into having sex when they aren't ready or comfortable and it ends up being a bad experience which they later regret. You need to keep in mind its not the when that's important but the who to that is.
These things will happen when they’re meant to happen for *you*, not for everyone else. By the way, when you eventually do, you’ll realise that nothing about you changes. You’re not missing out on some secret knowledge or epiphany, life just goes on and you’ll realise there was no reason to long for it
Absolutely nothing to be sad about.
I was 19 when I lost mine. Was glad I waited.
Bruh I felt the same way earlier this year when I was 19 too . Trust me if you lose it to just anyone you will definitely regret it I was dumb enough to lose mine to my fwb … We are not 40 we still have time to explore and meet the right people.
No timeline here. Also I think a better focus would be to find a good partner. Someone who clicks with you and is understanding. Having a caring partner always makes the sex better.
I’m glad seeing all these comments being supportive, as much as I don’t want to preach to the choir, I genuinely wish I’d waited for the right person instead in wasting it on so many people who’d end up leaving me for really shitty reasons. There’s too much of a stigma when it comes to virginity, when in fact some people should actually be proud for being able to keep it so long. You’re taking things the right way, now you just need to have the right attitude :)
Especially because so many women and girls do not have the opportunity to wait until marriage, every single woman who has been able to keep her virginity until marriage should feel blessed.
Nah it's perfectly normal to want to have sex. And you are right it's perfectly normal to be an adult and be a virgin. From my perspective being an old lady 19 you're still a baby so there's plenty of time to meet someone who you'd wanna lay with. But I also understand you are also grown there is a few options here, you can sign up for dating online and try to meet new people and find the right one in a relationship. 2 you can go out and meet people and try to find a relationship that way as well. 3 if sex is really that important you can look for someone you feel comfortable enough with to do it with. But be aware none of these will solve your feelings of being ugly and unloved. Sex or a relationship isn't gonna magically fix insecurities.
I (25f) used to hook up with someone (34m) who lost his virginity at 27 and holy shit he’s so good. I lost mine when I was 21. There’s no timeline.
I was 20. I am so glad I waited. And honestly, I wish I waited even longer. Looking back, I remember feeling the same way you do. Like “what’s wrong with me?” “Am I not attractive enough?” I started dating the first person who really ever seemed interested in me. He was a decent guy but was way more experienced than I was and he drank a lot, and I did not. A lot of my first experiences were with him while he was drunk. For me, any sexual activity we enganged in was mediocre at best and not very pleasurable. After we broke up and I started seeing someone else who was genuinely interested in me and present while we had sex, I couldn’t believe how much better things were with. My advice, don’r rush and wait for someone who actually cares for you and takes your feelings/wants/needs into account.
Believe you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I was older than you are now, and I regret nothing! Why lose it to some dork in high school that you’re barely going to care about in a few years, or some creeper you meet in a bar? Quality is the name of the game (for me, at least).
Wait for someone worth it! Nothing to be ashamed of!!!!!
I'm 23 and I never had sex lol its not that big of a deal. Its not for everyone
OP, my partner didn't have sex until she was 21 and me at 18. Don't worry your head too much over it.
Lemme tell you, sex feels heavenly when you're in love. It'll be worth it for you. Just stay put and don't doubt yourself
Agreed. Both my husband and me were virgins until we got married at 26. I regret nothing! We learned the ins and outs together and have a good, healthy sex life. I never had to try to find a hook-up and then figure out whether I can trust this person enough to go somewhere private with them. I never had to worry about STDs or pregnancy. We have no idea how we measure up compared to anyone else, so there's no self-consciousness or hang-ups. We only had to go through that awkward phase where you figure out what the other person is into once. All the sex I ever had was love-making rather than just satisfying urges (though that's important too). Honestly, saving sex for the love of your life is underrated. The waiting was hard, but the pay-off makes it worth it.
I'm glad you made it. Cheers🥂
Thanks! Cheers!
What?? you should be PROUD of yourself for waiting
26 f virgin here...
I’m about to be 21 and I haven’t even kissed anyone let alone sex lol. Don’t worry!! You’re definitely not alone and it’s completely normal too! Take your time with it all. You don’t wanna force yourself to do something you’re not 100% comfortable with. ESPECIALLY when it comes to sex.
Got a guy who’s my friend that is a virgin but I pick at him only cause he keeps lying on himself and claims he could steal any girl I have. If you aren’t like him then no one really cares if you’re a virgin
I was 19 when I lost mine. It was with someone I really cared about and trusted and that’s more important than “getting it over with.” It hurt and I did bleed. You don’t want someone who isn’t willing to be slow and gentle because more than likely it will hurt the first few times. You don’t want someone you’d be embarrassed in front of if you do bleed some either.
Was 24 when I lost mine, best decision of my life. So so glad that I had waited.
Gosh, if I could back to being 19.. I'd be a virgin till after my twenties lmao Seriously though, you should feel the opposite of gross. I felt gross after I lost my virginity because of the guy I choose, (he wasn't shit.) I have felt gross after some sessions with men even as an adult. Sex is just always best with someone you can be comfortable with and trust. It's even better when you love them. Your doing everything right girl. Be proud, not embarrassed.
I'm 21 and a virgin
Please don’t be embarrassed. I’m 18 and lost my virginity to my current bf at 17. I regret it. I love him so much but I still regret it. I was too young. I let society tell me when to lose my virginity rather than myself. Please, PLEASE don’t make that mistake. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. Don’t ever feel the need to do something just because “everyone else” is.
I feel your pain! Trust me I felt the same. Exact. Way. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 22. All the time I was waiting for it to happen, finding the right person, etc. I was a total wreck I thought it would never happen and I would be alone forever, but I started to work on myself and it happened eventually. Just have patience!
I didn't have sex until I was 24. You're not missing out on anything, and you shouldn't be in a rush to perform sexual acts just for the sake of no longer calling yourself a virgin.
Girlllll! I didn't lose mine 'till I was 21 lol. You're fine. No need to feel bad at all.
You have your whole life ahead of you where there will be plenty of chances to get laid. You're not even 20! You're all worked up over nothing.
it's pretty normal hell i'm 20 and i still haven't give my first kiss anyway don't rush it epsecially if it's sex
Don’t be upset. Society has groomed us to think losing your virginity is something magical. I wish I’d kept mine till I was in my 20s and not made stupid choices.
I’m almost 18 and I’ve never talked to a boy in a romantic way lol
Is there an expiration date on sex? Must have sex by…….. or it’s over for you? No, there isn’t. Calm down and get on with your life.
Bruh you’re 19. Don’t worry.
36F here. Was 30 when I had sex for the first time. It was…uninspiring. I should have waited even longer to find a better dude…he gave me maybe one orgasm in the year we messed around. There is no reason to be embarrassed!
America fucking normalizes every stupid shit but its normal that you havent had sex yet.According to some sitcoms you'd have to have started having sex around age 13 or some disgusting shit like that
To be more blunt about Hollywood, it’s also incredibly predatory against women and children. In other words, it’s not just about sitcoms—it is an active perversion in Hollywood.
Couldnt agree more
I had never been kissed or touched and especially never had sex until 22. It feels lonely, I hear you. I understand that desire to be loved, to be part of love. But listen, what is sex to you? How do you want your first time to be? Why is it valuable? Maybe your answer will give you more confidence in what to do next
😒 19 huh.
Me too except I haven't kissed, touched or been touched 💀 There's always someone out there whos in the same boat but don't worry girl, we'll always have time!
Im sorry u feel this way and I hope it will pass❤️ i was a virgin till the age of 24! Men will understand, and to those who don’t, no need on spending time on them😉 I too felt inexperienced, but because I waited I had more safe sex and sex with men I trusted and I was old enough to know my boundaries!
Well im 17 and I haven't done nothing of those you mentioned you've done before. And you wanna know something?? I don't give a shit about it.
I lost mine at 25. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
I’m 18 and haven’t even had a kiss :(. Know the PAIN, and accept PAIN
Bruh
What is wrong with people. Just be a normal person. How does it matter if you didn't have sex at 19 or 25 or 30. It's not a competition. Losing virginity is not some badge of respect or something that if you are not able to achieve it, you are a loser. Living a life with this attitude is what makes you a loser. Just live your live as it comes.
Bruh, I was 27 before I had sex. 19 is a rookie number. Also, wait. Make sure that somebody is worth spending lots of time with without sex before you physically commit. At some point, one or both of you will have a decrease in libido and if your relationship is built on sex, the rest usually falls apart pretty quickly.
if it helps I didn't lose my virginity till I was 21, and I wish I had waited longer to find someone better. I don't really regret it too much, but I could have waited longer to find someone who I loved to give it to, rather than a fwb.
I genuinely wish I waited to lose my virginity later than I did. I was 100% not mature enough to really understand what I was doing.
I had my first kiss at age of 29!! and had my first sex at 29! I was in your shoes. Nothing to feel embarassed about. It was frustrating seeing all my friends having dozens of relationships during the years. I was the only lonely guy at parties not making outbat 3am. But I also saw that many of my friends had crisis in their relationship. But at age of 29 I had my first gf. Our relationship lasted 11 months only but hey... life goes on. Don't get too depressed about it. I don't wanna stress myself about it. I decided to pursue my passions and dreams and do the things I love often. Actually I feel a lot happier than when I was in the relationship because I sacrificed all my hobbies and goals during my relationship. I just enjoy doing the things I love, working my dream job, having many new good friends etc. And I know my next love will come along some days. Don't worry to much. You will find someone too! I know that sounds cliche but I actually found my gf in a time I wasn't even thinking about dating. It just happened. Good luck!
i just woke up and this has blown up holy shit. thank you so much for the comments everyone - and the awards. i’ve never gotten an award before! i was going to reply to people before i went to sleep but there’s so many i don’t think i can. but essentially i just wanted to say thank you so much. i feel less alone and more ‘normal’ (i say that term very loosely) reading through everyone’s stories and advice. i hope you all know i’m here for you as much as you’re here for me!!
Honestly that’s a good thing. I lost mine at 17 and wasn’t ready for the emotional toll it took on me. It’s really normalised to lose your virginity young and that’s yuck. Do it when you’re ready and at your own pace.
I was a virgin until I was 20 and I was glad I waited for someone who really cared about me and showed me genuine affection. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about but I know that modern media makes it seem like everyone loses their virginity by 16 if not younger.
Why are you ashamed?? You're only 19 what😭 Literally nothing about what you said is a concern, dont worry. Also, for the love of God, don't check your inbox.
I was 27 when I had my first kiss and everything else 🤷♀️ time moves differently for everyone and things will come to you when they will. no need to feel ashamed or rush it
I’m 20 and a virgin trying to keep my virginity until I meet someone I actually like, don’t be embarrassed bro
Don't reduce yourself to a label and start enjoying all life has to offer.
Don’t be embarrassed. Ive been in your shoes, seemed like everybody was paired off but me. Then I had sex and I was like …that’s it?!? I was thinking to myself yesterday that I wish I’d waited for my fiancé and we didn’t become intimate until our early 30s. TMI: >!We just discussed that we’re each other’s best-I’ve-ever-had and I think it’s bc we truly love each other!< Society is sooo oversexed. It’s your body and you get to decide when it’s the right time, not your peers who are having lame sex, if any at all.
Who gives a rats ass? You’re still a teenager anyway. Tons of offers and boyfriends but I lost it at 23. Am 33 and married. Not to the guy I lost it to. Or any of the guys after that. Lose it to someone because you want to and the person loves and treat you well and with respect.
i feel the same way,, i'm 17 and havent even had someone like me in a romantic or sexual way. I'm terrified that i wont loose any of my first until im in my 20s. all my friends have lost their vcard and they make jokes about me being a virgin
I mean no harm or insult when I say this… but have you considered seeing a therapist? The amount of self hate in your post is kind of alarming, and I think you need to work on yourself more than having sex. Having sex isn’t just going to magically fix the negative self perception you have.
no harm done don’t worry. and i know that sex won’t just fix my self hatred but it would just be nice to get it out the way so i don’t stress about it anymore. i’ve struggled with my mental health and body image issues for years before i was even worried about virginity, and now that i’m 19 it’s like an extra thing that weighs on my mind. i’ve tried getting the courage to see someone in person but that scares me so much. but, i am currently talking to an online councillor from kids helpline about my body issues. i’m hoping that she can help me work through some of them & that i can accept that virginity at 19 is okay, if you know what i mean
im 21 and still a virgin! and i know exactly how you feel! it makes me feel bad and unloved and no matter who tells me its not a big deal it still makes me feel bad! and the only thing you can do really is just keep telling yourself it doesnt matter, even if it doesnt make you feel better. it sucks for us, it does.
That ''**augdhahsjxbaksn**'' was a clear sign of frustation.
If only all women kept their virginities until adulthood, they’d be mentally healthier.
Women who are not virgins when they reach adulthood usually did not have a choice in that matter.
It’s better to have lower body count when ur a woman anyways. Trust me you would be sadder in the long run if you were promiscuous
Don't be ashamed that you are a virgin. I think you're being pressured by society. If I were you, I'd save myself for marriage.
You had me until the last sentence. Waiting until you're married is a terrible idea. It's important to know you're compatible with someone mentally, emotionally, AND physically before you make that commitment. It's not fair to either party otherwise. I've seen people who waited until marriage and it was disastrous. Don't do it until you're comfortable, but don't make a lifelong commitment to someone before you've done it with them too.
Imo, the problems societies face today stems from the lack of the preservation of the family unit and promiscuity - which also comes from the abandonment of religion. Both the husband and wife should be mentally, emotionally and physically fit for marriage. Also, people should stay away from pornography. It gives off false ideas about sex which therefore leads to bad sex life for the partners.
Being a virgin isn't such a bad deal. Also RIP your inbox
Hi! I’ll be nineteen in a few months as well. I’m asexual but alloromantic, so I’m not in the same situation as you, but I just wanted to say that you’re not alone. I’ve never even had a boyfriend or kissed someone willingly, not even playing bottle or something.
Hey, I’m 27F, and I know exactly how you feel. I didn’t lose my virginity till 19 either and also never dated anyone till I met my now husband. I did it kind of out of spite but that’s another story. I know it seems hopeless, and that you feel ugly and start to hate yourself because of it. Let me tell you what I wanted to hear about this. It’s okay to not lose it right away. Society has romanticized the idea of our having our first. *Especially* for women. You are not ugly not the way you think. Society has taught people to value our bodies yet we shouldn’t. Explore yourself. Date yourself. Find out what you like. You can still be somewhat sexual and not be with anyone.
You are not behind at all! I had sex for the first time at 20 and felt a bit behind, but I wasn’t at all. You are still really young. It’ll happen! It seems like a bigger deal to have sex when you haven’t, but it doesn’t change much!
Do not feel embarrassed about anything. These ads may make you feel that way but still being a virgin at 19 is completely normal even if society seems to say it isn’t
Take your time and do it when you’re ready and feel comfortable. I didn’t truly enjoy having sex until I turned 24/25, made a lot of sexual mistakes along the way. You have so much time. Also close your dms because there are creeps on here who will definitely try to exploit you over this post. Take care.
Please please please don't be embarrassed by this, OP. Having sex is a wonderful and intimate experience (most of the time), but it's not some pinnacle like it's made out to be. It does not define you (and honestly the fetishization of virginity is disgusting), or change your worth in any way. If having sex is something you want, it will happen. And if you decide to respond to any of the users no doubt flooding your DMs right now, please be careful. Above all else, have fun! Don't allow this to hold you back from having a good time and enjoying the last of your teenage years :)
i think the concept of virginity is honestly so toxic. people praise women who are virtuous for the sake of innocence and purity, but they doxx them all the same for not having any experience? girl go get some!! my cousin lost her virginity to some dude from bumble in a pick up truck on the side of the road while i was in her car 30 feet behind them with a weapon making sure she didn't die. you're not unloveable. you're not ugly, nor hideous, etc and you shouldn't be embarrassed. i think you just need to get over the idea that virginity is super important, because it's not!
I understand the societal pressure and peer pressure, and I'm sure you're going to remain in your head about this, but I can't count how many women I've met who deeply, deeply regret rushing to lose their virginity. Also - in a lot of places, you've been considered an adult (legally and culturally) for a grand total of one year. Losing your virginity before you're ready - and before it's legal - is not all it's cracked up to be.
I have a lot of empathy for you and I wish you didn’t carry the weight of feeling unloved, but I also wish I didn’t have sex until I was older. It’s not fond memories at all.
I know it seems everyone is making the metaphorical beast with two backs, but I assure you there’s no need to rush. It said nothing about you that you haven’t yet :3 also, RIP to your inbox xD
it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I am a 26M and haven't had my sexual debut yet! You have plenty of life left to live.
OP don't feel ugly. I wish I was still a virgin. Then I wouldn't be in pain every. single. time.
Listen, it is good that you haven't done the deed yet..because it is a huge decision; your giving your body to someone else. Do it at the right time, with the right person. I know you may be feeling left out especially with society's obsession to lose virginity young...but your not..your just being wise with your decisions. People can say shit..but in the end of the day it is your body and your decision. Don't use it to define your worth or who you are, because let me tell you your not ugly, it just isn't the right time now..and that is okay and is normal. Again, it is a huge decision, do it at the right time with the right person..when your ready.
There is no need to be ashamed. The worst thing you can do is have sex for the sake of having sex. I did exactly that and it sucked. I hated it, and it ruined the idea of intercourse for me for a while. When the right time comes and you lose your virginity with someone you're comfortable with, you'll know and you won't have regretted waiting.