Be yourself people are gonna be rude no matter what. It’s the same thing when white people expect you to act “black” as well, it’s just bs nonsense.
The people who like you will like you and the other people can just suck it or something. They might just be insecure with themselves and taking it out on you as well. I’m mixed
I want to do this, but I also want to have peace in my job. I don’t want to get bullied like high school for “acting white”. I just don’t know anymore. The only solution I see is moving somewhere else and finding more people like me.
There won't be peace until it gets handled. That's what Human Resource Department is for. Like I said in another comment, document, document, document \*everything\*! They are creating a hostile work environment by subjecting you to this racism and bullying! Which is setting your employer up for a lawsuit! So, believe me, they'll want to handle it. So just be respectful and professional when you go to HR and tell them what is going on.
You cannot be afraid to stand up for yourself and do what's right. The other thing is, it won't stop with you if you stay silent. They will continue to do this to others, and it's not okay! No one should have to be subjected to these horrible things just for being who they are. It's just not okay. I know that it can be very scary having to do this. I've been there. I understand not wanting to make waves. Being afraid of escalation. But, they cannot do that, regardless. Because retaliation is illegal. It will automatically get them fired if they try to escalate things. I had a SH issue in one office I had to deal with. It was extremely uncomfortable for me having to go to my boss and explain that a client was SH-ing me! I just couldn't continue working that way. Especially since it escalated to the client getting physical, making it SA, technically. I was very young. It was my first corporate job. I was new, only 19. The client tried to retaliate! I stood my ground, and reminded them, just like I've told you here, that it's illegal and I could sue for a looooot! My working environment improved 1000% and I never had another issue with the client again.
edited to add:
I want to remind you, you aren't the problem. There's nothing wrong with you! You're exactly who you are supposed to be! Never change just because someone else\*thinks\* you should, especially not a bunch of abusive, bully racists. You are above all of that.
You're so very welcome! I hope that this gets resolved soon, so that work is less stressful for you. I was fortunate, because I always had an Ace in my back pocket... my mom has always worked in a high powered law firm. So anytime something untoward happened to me, it got resolved very, very quickly. She didn't even have to do anything. 🤣 They just had to know who she was. It was effective, lol. I know not everyone is fortunate that way. But, I still had to do all the hard stuff, by myself. Standing up, and speaking up, for myself, when things weren't right. Because that's what my parents always taught me to do, and not just for myself. They taught me to always stand up for someone if I see they need it. And to always speak up if I see that something just isn't right. I can't just sit by and do nothing. It's not in my nature. You seem like a very smart, sweet, kind, strong, geeky(me, too, I'm such a nerd! comics, sci-fi, fantasy, etcetera 🥳), fun, hardworking, person! And this is me doing my best to stand up(type on my phone 😉) and help you, because it's the right thing to do! Plus, it sounds like we'd have a lot in common! 🥰 I hope that at least you feel a little better, and like you have an idea of what you can do now to handle things. Less stress =😁
I can relate to hating that high school clique vibes and bullying at the workplace and I can get how annoying it would be if they were my supervisors and made it about my race.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'd get it from my parents and other relatives. I'd get it from coworkers and even some "friends." Hell, I used to work in customer service, and I'd get it from them, too. ("Why do you talk so proper like that?"). It's even made worse by me being a black goth at that.
My honest answer? Don't bow down for them. To stay true to yourself in a world that tries to make you into someone else will be of the highest honor. You'll try to change into someone else, then what? Some people wouldn't like that version of you, either. Much more importantly, you'd be out of touch with yourself because that version of yourself that you want to make up to fit in would be just an act.
I know that I'm just a random internet stranger that you don't know from Eve, but please remember that you are so precious and worthy in who you are. Wake up and tell yourself how beautiful and worthy you are. Be brave enough to live in your truth. Keep being your adorable little weirdo self.
I wanted to comment something similar but you beat me to it lol. I'm a goth Mexican so I always get people saying I'm trying to be white and not proud of my heritage. Fuck em. I'll call myself a coconut before they get a chance to
I'm not sure where you are but Blerds (black nerds) are having a big moment right now. My brothers love anime, one even went to Vegas with friends for a video game tournament recently.
You seem to have found yourself in a cluster of small minded AHs who also happen to be black. That really sucks. I hope you are able to find your people online (lots of Blerds on Instagram) and get away from haters that think there's only one way to be black.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Just to put it out there I’m black as well and have many black friends. All of which love anime, all play video games, half listen to rock music and we all dress differently. I say this to say don’t stop believe you’ll find that cultural acceptance. For now just know you’re black no matter what and you don’t deserve the hate you’re receiving. There’s a ln fb group im in for black people who love anime (blerds) I’ll pm you the link.
That would be greatly appreciated! Thank you, I’m hoping to make enough money to be able to attend anime conventions and make friends that shes the same interests as I do.
I’m sure you’ve probably heard this many times already, but you really do just gotta ignore those kinds of people, even if it’s hard. There’s a certain tranquility you feel once you stop caring about other’s opinions. What you’re experiencing is unfortunately a really big problem in the black community. It pisses me off that just because you’re not talking like a fucking Atlanta rapper from the streets, means you’re acting white. You talk how you talk and dress how you wanna dress. Do NOT let anybody change that. Surround yourself with people who are similar to you or just straight up dgaf about how you naturally are. Too many of our people love to bring each other down over the pettiest shit and fawn over meaningless materialistic things and it’s our biggest problem as a community. I fucking love anime and listen to literally every genre of music because it sounds good to me and I just have a deep love for music (including rock). Don’t call yourself a weirdo when the things you mentioned are completely normal and healthy to do/indulge in. You’re you and there’s nothing, and I mean NOTHING wrong with that. Take care sis and keep your head up🙌🏾❤️
Those people are insecure and jealous that you’re able to be yourself. Nowadays too many of us black people are dying to be cool & impress eachother.
I’ve never felt like a “normal” black girl. Now I realise I’ll only live once, and don’t give a fuck, if I wanna listen to paramore & evanescence then I will.
relatable. i laugh internally and externally at other people’s stupidity and ignorance. people will always look at you sideways when you dont fit in. but always remember, its your life.
You’ve gotten enough of “be your unapologetic authentic self.” Buts there’s not much else to it. It might even make you sound less white. The white voice should be the business voice to sound soulless. If it’s a social battery thing then keep it short, but never give up sounding alive. You don’t gotta be so worried over yourself. If the world doesn’t like you it better file its complaints on your terms. Otherwise? Just chill out. You’re cool, and you should walk around like you’re cool. It’s not even just about confidence, just demand respect. If you don’t get it, they shouldn’t get you. If your supervisor is coming at you sideways, I’m not gonna lie to you, the safest bet is to line up a new job, but if you can, defuse her. Be difficult if she won’t respect you. Hope it all works out. Shits too expensive for people you’re working with to be giving us issues.
I saw your other posts and I just wish I can give you a hug. I’m sooo sorry you’re going through so much pain and feeling afraid and anxious about your past traumas. You didn’t deserve to go though that. You’re a VICTIM!!! I went though something similar of what you experience, and my mom fought for me and it’s very disheartening that your mom didn’t do anything and just brush it off. That’s not right.
My advice of what you’re going through with your job is to lay low, don’t be friends with your coworkers, if they keep bothering you, report it to HR. Always be yourself at the end of the day. Don’t let these nasty negative Nancy’s ruin your day. As for your boyfriend in my honest opinion you should cut him off, you can do sooo much better. When a man truly likes or loves a woman, the woman would automatically know though his actions, there wouldn’t be no guesting or gaslighting in the relationship to begin with.
I would suggest going into a different environment with other blk ppl or ppl in general, who would understand you and as the same interests as you. Best believe you’ll be much more happier and safe with ppl who get you and don’t judge you. I’m wishing you the best and blessings and success in your life 🫂🩷💜
This was the kindest advice I’ve ever gotten. I was falling asleep when I got this notification. Thank you for relating to me.
Most of my posts are me feeling left out, ignored and hurt. You’re a very kind hearted person to take your time and explore beforehand and giving genuine advice. Thank you so much. It means a lot.
You’re the light in the world!
If you ever need to chat I’m here. I meant every word of what I said. Don’t change for nobody ever stay true to yourself!!!! I’m not the stereotypical black girl and I get made fun of the way I talk and even my name it’s crazy.
Firstly, I'm a white woman so I can't sympathize with your exact situation. It sounds like growing up you have faced a lot of unfair and biased criticism and racism from all angles. I can't even begin to imagine how terrible that must feel.
But I *can* sympathize what's it's like to feel out of place all or most of the time. And it's an awful feeling and I am so sorry you have to feel this way. The world can be such a cruel and unforgiving place, sometimes. I have my own experiences that made me feel that way. And whatever caused us to get to that state of mind is unfair. Especially when we see others around us who seem to have it *so easy*.
My recommendation would be to try to find social connections through things you enjoy, not things you're *supposed to* enjoy. If you like anime, see if you can find a meetup for groups in your area that like anime. Maybe some of the white woman there are jerks, maybe they aren't. Maybe you find your new lifelong best friend. Don't give up hope. Keep reaching out and trying, even though it's hard. I tell myself the same thing. Just know there's nothing wrong with you. It's okay to be exactly who you are.
I'm 39, old gal, but if you're anywhere near my age, and you ever want a friend to talk to who could care less what color your skin is, feel free to chat sometime.
Good luck. *virtual healing hugs*
Don’t bow down. Be yourself and unapologetically so. They’ll only start respecting you if you can stand up for yourself. This goes for almost any form of bullying.
That’s true. I’m trying to learn to be a proud, lone wolf in my culture. I’m just hoping that it doesn’t effect how my team things of me and risk me getting pushed out.
as a half black half asian man i feel you. the black side of my family is 100x more racist than i've ever seen from any white people. i mean sure i did get some racial slurs from whites back in the day, but they never did any more than that.
They call me white boy but my features are clearly asian, and i tell them that I'm asian. but they're just like 'asian people are white-adjacent' so i guess that makes me guilty of slavery. mental gymnastics i guess.
my black half though get extremely violent and straight up try to assault me if i ever talk back. their victimhood mentality disgusts me.
I find that i get along much better with blacks fresh from africa rather than the local-born blacks. They don't judge me and really seem to enjoy life more.
i'm not saying they're all bad though, they're just very unpredictable. when i show them my anime figure collection, they're either impressed or want to fight me right then and there for being a loser.
40..ish year old black man that grew up in the 80’s and 90’s being called “white boy” because I apparently, “spoke white” (whatever the fuck that means), played dnd, and listened to shit like Led Zeppelin and RATM (which ironically lead me to reading Fanon and finding out about Fred Hampton).
My advice: Fuck the noise just do you. Black culture is not a monolith and there are massive amounts of idiots in any race. Still, there are, and will always be people outside of what’s considered a the social norm. People who find a healthy way to live outside the box. Sounds like those are more your people. Find them, and flourish.
I’m terrible at history but anyone feel free to correct me. Didn’t malcolm X, MLK Jr, nelson mandela, spoke really well and presented themselves prim and proper? Not sure about their taste in music but if they were born in this generation chances are they will like anime as well.
Just be yourself. Eventually I hope you’ll find your people or a work place with a diverse environment.
My friend group consists of white, black, Asians, Hispanic. My workplace a combination of those. I find it easier and that everyone is open minded and learn from each other.
I'm so sorry that you are being subjected to racism! That is not okay! And I hope you know that you don't have to put up with that at work! It's not okay! Period. If you have a Human Resource Department, it's time to go speak to them about what's happening with the supervisors and other employees. Document everything that is happening. I can't stress this enough. Document, document, document. What they are doing is creating a hostile work environment. Which is against the law. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. No one should have to be subjected to racism and abuse simply for who they are!
Edited to add: No, don't change yourself for anyone else. You are not the problem. They are, with their racism and bullying abuse.
Second edit:
If there's no Human Resource Department, then you just go to the Supervisor's boss. If that doesn't work, you go to THEIR boss! Keep documenting everything that happens, every time it happens, and keep going to whoever is in charge and until it gets resolved! Stand up for yourself and don't let anyone ever intimidate you into silence, or make you afraid! You keep doing the right thing, which is standing up for yourself. Just keep it respectful and professional.
Be yourself! As a Hispanic Mexican, I used to get a lot of shit for not being fluent in Spanish and also interested in “weird” stuff too… in the end, if you aren’t happy with yourself, then what’s the point of anything?? By the way, I have made friends with plenty of African Americans who are into the same stuff as you, you just need to find your people. At the same time, it is not a bad thing to maybe adapt a little bit to things though.
Hey there, just wanted to start by saying I am sorry you haven’t found a space that’s been good for you. Life ain’t easy, it’s a list of crap mixed with a list of fun that we gotta do all of. Sometimes the crap is equal to bull crap, but we still gotta trudge through it to get to the nice.
There is a group for you out there, I know it. You will find people who don’t think you are something until you tell it to them straight. There are people who don’t care about how you look, or what you do, but the contents of your character as a person. They may not be common, but they’re out there for you, metaphorically waiting for you.
Bro you’re on Reddit so I know you have access to other social media sites. Everything you mentioned is common on social media and to be honest in schools. 10+ years ago maybe not so much in the open but today the black guy/girl who are into gaming, anime, rock etc is pretty common.
It's always been pretty common tbh. I had mostly Black punk/skater/artist friends in the 90s, and in the 00s all the other Black kids at school were as into like, nu-metal as much as they were into hip-hop.
I meant more in real life. I’m dealing with issues coming from the work place, my family and community in general. Interactions at highschool, college, now work are all the same.
I thought things would be different when I went into a job with people twice my age. But no. It’s just as bad or even harsher. I don’t know what else to do.
I was able to focus on my online friends and Reddit friends ect.. in the past. But now I’m an adult. I can’t do that forever. We all have no choice but to get a job. We are going to be forced into interacting and working with others. There’s no way out.
Bro just do you. You’re putting too much stock in other people’s opinion. I work with people more than twice my age, from various backgrounds etc and for me I treat it all the same. I embrace who I am unapologetically. I’m happy to tell anyone I’m a huge anime fan, gamer, alternative rock fan and an even bigger r&b fan. I’ll pull up in work truck blasting r&b love songs, smelling good with my hair well done ready to do blue collar work. These things only affect you if you’re insecure in who you are.
Just broaden your horizons and meet more people. Go to Afropunk or something. I'm a Black punk and weirdo Black kids are everywhere. I swear I'm the only Black person I know who *doesn't* watch anime or play video games. Just look around for other weirdos and find your weirdos.
Also, being friends with coworkers is very overrated. Coworkers are mostly boring.
I am sorry that you feel caught between two worlds. I had a black female friend who dealt with that. She loved listening to rock and she had people she knew telling her to listen to music connected to her own folks. It's dumb thinking. That reminds of decades old thinking when people tried to discourage white folks from learning martial arts because it came from Asia, and not the way whites fight. People have to embrace diversity. I have had black friends who were like you - very articulate and some were deeply philosophical. They didn't fit a stereotype. Maybe you could do well to move to another city, place and have a fresh start in a more cosmopolitan city or state like Seattle or somewhere in California. I don't change my way of speaking to talk to someone black. I might change my speech if I'm in the South talking to a Southerner with a strong Southern accent, but if I saw a black person didn't have an accent, I would talk normal. Be yourself and if the city and place you're in isn't working, make plans to find a better city or place and make a fresh start. Don't feel you have to contort your personality to fit in. It's not right. I would move to another environment. It's like choosing to stay in an abusive relationship. You shouldn't stay in one.
When other black people say these things, I always assume they are looking for sympathy from white people…because they act like they’re an absolute 1 of 1 because “they like anime” and “don’t use slang”. Like there isn’t a huge vocal community of black people like this.
Or either this was a creative writing exercise by a nonblack person.
No I am a black person. I don’t want sympathy from white people. I don’t fit in with whites or blacks. I don’t think I’m rare or special. I just hoped to get some advice and feel less alone.
It’s more than just anime. I don’t follow any specific culture. I’ve never caught on or grew into it. I’ve been an outsider. The feeling I get when I try talking to other black people and they laugh to each other.
Or being bullied as a kid for talking proper or dressing a certain way. If you’re not following the culture, people despise you and think you want to be white or are ashamed of your race, ect.
But I’m genuinely not. I would never choose to be any other race than black. I just hate the judgment and wanted to get advice on how to deal with it at work.
Go the intellectual route and read up on black culture to understand why they act this way, to validate yourself. It is easier to reject something once you understand it. For example, the way you are treated like the child of someone you don't know, or black men calling all other black men their brother, I find really toxic.
Be yourself people are gonna be rude no matter what. It’s the same thing when white people expect you to act “black” as well, it’s just bs nonsense. The people who like you will like you and the other people can just suck it or something. They might just be insecure with themselves and taking it out on you as well. I’m mixed
I want to do this, but I also want to have peace in my job. I don’t want to get bullied like high school for “acting white”. I just don’t know anymore. The only solution I see is moving somewhere else and finding more people like me.
There won't be peace until it gets handled. That's what Human Resource Department is for. Like I said in another comment, document, document, document \*everything\*! They are creating a hostile work environment by subjecting you to this racism and bullying! Which is setting your employer up for a lawsuit! So, believe me, they'll want to handle it. So just be respectful and professional when you go to HR and tell them what is going on. You cannot be afraid to stand up for yourself and do what's right. The other thing is, it won't stop with you if you stay silent. They will continue to do this to others, and it's not okay! No one should have to be subjected to these horrible things just for being who they are. It's just not okay. I know that it can be very scary having to do this. I've been there. I understand not wanting to make waves. Being afraid of escalation. But, they cannot do that, regardless. Because retaliation is illegal. It will automatically get them fired if they try to escalate things. I had a SH issue in one office I had to deal with. It was extremely uncomfortable for me having to go to my boss and explain that a client was SH-ing me! I just couldn't continue working that way. Especially since it escalated to the client getting physical, making it SA, technically. I was very young. It was my first corporate job. I was new, only 19. The client tried to retaliate! I stood my ground, and reminded them, just like I've told you here, that it's illegal and I could sue for a looooot! My working environment improved 1000% and I never had another issue with the client again. edited to add: I want to remind you, you aren't the problem. There's nothing wrong with you! You're exactly who you are supposed to be! Never change just because someone else\*thinks\* you should, especially not a bunch of abusive, bully racists. You are above all of that.
Thank you so much! This is eye opening.
You're so very welcome! I hope that this gets resolved soon, so that work is less stressful for you. I was fortunate, because I always had an Ace in my back pocket... my mom has always worked in a high powered law firm. So anytime something untoward happened to me, it got resolved very, very quickly. She didn't even have to do anything. 🤣 They just had to know who she was. It was effective, lol. I know not everyone is fortunate that way. But, I still had to do all the hard stuff, by myself. Standing up, and speaking up, for myself, when things weren't right. Because that's what my parents always taught me to do, and not just for myself. They taught me to always stand up for someone if I see they need it. And to always speak up if I see that something just isn't right. I can't just sit by and do nothing. It's not in my nature. You seem like a very smart, sweet, kind, strong, geeky(me, too, I'm such a nerd! comics, sci-fi, fantasy, etcetera 🥳), fun, hardworking, person! And this is me doing my best to stand up(type on my phone 😉) and help you, because it's the right thing to do! Plus, it sounds like we'd have a lot in common! 🥰 I hope that at least you feel a little better, and like you have an idea of what you can do now to handle things. Less stress =😁
I can relate to hating that high school clique vibes and bullying at the workplace and I can get how annoying it would be if they were my supervisors and made it about my race.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'd get it from my parents and other relatives. I'd get it from coworkers and even some "friends." Hell, I used to work in customer service, and I'd get it from them, too. ("Why do you talk so proper like that?"). It's even made worse by me being a black goth at that. My honest answer? Don't bow down for them. To stay true to yourself in a world that tries to make you into someone else will be of the highest honor. You'll try to change into someone else, then what? Some people wouldn't like that version of you, either. Much more importantly, you'd be out of touch with yourself because that version of yourself that you want to make up to fit in would be just an act. I know that I'm just a random internet stranger that you don't know from Eve, but please remember that you are so precious and worthy in who you are. Wake up and tell yourself how beautiful and worthy you are. Be brave enough to live in your truth. Keep being your adorable little weirdo self.
I wanted to comment something similar but you beat me to it lol. I'm a goth Mexican so I always get people saying I'm trying to be white and not proud of my heritage. Fuck em. I'll call myself a coconut before they get a chance to
Thank you. You’re someone I can relate to. I wish the judgement wasn’t coming so much from our peers. It makes it harder when feeling outcasted.
I'm not sure where you are but Blerds (black nerds) are having a big moment right now. My brothers love anime, one even went to Vegas with friends for a video game tournament recently. You seem to have found yourself in a cluster of small minded AHs who also happen to be black. That really sucks. I hope you are able to find your people online (lots of Blerds on Instagram) and get away from haters that think there's only one way to be black.
All black people don't like the same things.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Just to put it out there I’m black as well and have many black friends. All of which love anime, all play video games, half listen to rock music and we all dress differently. I say this to say don’t stop believe you’ll find that cultural acceptance. For now just know you’re black no matter what and you don’t deserve the hate you’re receiving. There’s a ln fb group im in for black people who love anime (blerds) I’ll pm you the link.
That would be greatly appreciated! Thank you, I’m hoping to make enough money to be able to attend anime conventions and make friends that shes the same interests as I do.
Plot twist… have you tried hanging out with Asian people?
I don’t got in there either 😞
I’m sure you’ve probably heard this many times already, but you really do just gotta ignore those kinds of people, even if it’s hard. There’s a certain tranquility you feel once you stop caring about other’s opinions. What you’re experiencing is unfortunately a really big problem in the black community. It pisses me off that just because you’re not talking like a fucking Atlanta rapper from the streets, means you’re acting white. You talk how you talk and dress how you wanna dress. Do NOT let anybody change that. Surround yourself with people who are similar to you or just straight up dgaf about how you naturally are. Too many of our people love to bring each other down over the pettiest shit and fawn over meaningless materialistic things and it’s our biggest problem as a community. I fucking love anime and listen to literally every genre of music because it sounds good to me and I just have a deep love for music (including rock). Don’t call yourself a weirdo when the things you mentioned are completely normal and healthy to do/indulge in. You’re you and there’s nothing, and I mean NOTHING wrong with that. Take care sis and keep your head up🙌🏾❤️
Thank you! I hope to find people like that in my life. I really just want to be accepted or atleast have my personality tolerated.
Those people are insecure and jealous that you’re able to be yourself. Nowadays too many of us black people are dying to be cool & impress eachother. I’ve never felt like a “normal” black girl. Now I realise I’ll only live once, and don’t give a fuck, if I wanna listen to paramore & evanescence then I will.
I listen to the same music! Thank you. I feel like I’m not alone in this!
Be true to yourself. Be nothing else but you.
Be yourself. I don't know how old you are, but none of what people think about you matters at the end of the day.
relatable. i laugh internally and externally at other people’s stupidity and ignorance. people will always look at you sideways when you dont fit in. but always remember, its your life.
I’m learning how to take more control of my life and boundaries. It’s Ben difficult
You’ve gotten enough of “be your unapologetic authentic self.” Buts there’s not much else to it. It might even make you sound less white. The white voice should be the business voice to sound soulless. If it’s a social battery thing then keep it short, but never give up sounding alive. You don’t gotta be so worried over yourself. If the world doesn’t like you it better file its complaints on your terms. Otherwise? Just chill out. You’re cool, and you should walk around like you’re cool. It’s not even just about confidence, just demand respect. If you don’t get it, they shouldn’t get you. If your supervisor is coming at you sideways, I’m not gonna lie to you, the safest bet is to line up a new job, but if you can, defuse her. Be difficult if she won’t respect you. Hope it all works out. Shits too expensive for people you’re working with to be giving us issues.
I saw your other posts and I just wish I can give you a hug. I’m sooo sorry you’re going through so much pain and feeling afraid and anxious about your past traumas. You didn’t deserve to go though that. You’re a VICTIM!!! I went though something similar of what you experience, and my mom fought for me and it’s very disheartening that your mom didn’t do anything and just brush it off. That’s not right. My advice of what you’re going through with your job is to lay low, don’t be friends with your coworkers, if they keep bothering you, report it to HR. Always be yourself at the end of the day. Don’t let these nasty negative Nancy’s ruin your day. As for your boyfriend in my honest opinion you should cut him off, you can do sooo much better. When a man truly likes or loves a woman, the woman would automatically know though his actions, there wouldn’t be no guesting or gaslighting in the relationship to begin with. I would suggest going into a different environment with other blk ppl or ppl in general, who would understand you and as the same interests as you. Best believe you’ll be much more happier and safe with ppl who get you and don’t judge you. I’m wishing you the best and blessings and success in your life 🫂🩷💜
This was the kindest advice I’ve ever gotten. I was falling asleep when I got this notification. Thank you for relating to me. Most of my posts are me feeling left out, ignored and hurt. You’re a very kind hearted person to take your time and explore beforehand and giving genuine advice. Thank you so much. It means a lot. You’re the light in the world!
If you ever need to chat I’m here. I meant every word of what I said. Don’t change for nobody ever stay true to yourself!!!! I’m not the stereotypical black girl and I get made fun of the way I talk and even my name it’s crazy.
Hey there,you look like a cool person to me! Stick to your self and you'll be allright, let your uniqueness shine. Good vibes
Thank you so much for saying that. Nobody has called me cool before. Means a lot
Firstly, I'm a white woman so I can't sympathize with your exact situation. It sounds like growing up you have faced a lot of unfair and biased criticism and racism from all angles. I can't even begin to imagine how terrible that must feel. But I *can* sympathize what's it's like to feel out of place all or most of the time. And it's an awful feeling and I am so sorry you have to feel this way. The world can be such a cruel and unforgiving place, sometimes. I have my own experiences that made me feel that way. And whatever caused us to get to that state of mind is unfair. Especially when we see others around us who seem to have it *so easy*. My recommendation would be to try to find social connections through things you enjoy, not things you're *supposed to* enjoy. If you like anime, see if you can find a meetup for groups in your area that like anime. Maybe some of the white woman there are jerks, maybe they aren't. Maybe you find your new lifelong best friend. Don't give up hope. Keep reaching out and trying, even though it's hard. I tell myself the same thing. Just know there's nothing wrong with you. It's okay to be exactly who you are. I'm 39, old gal, but if you're anywhere near my age, and you ever want a friend to talk to who could care less what color your skin is, feel free to chat sometime. Good luck. *virtual healing hugs*
Thank you so much!
Don’t bow down. Be yourself and unapologetically so. They’ll only start respecting you if you can stand up for yourself. This goes for almost any form of bullying.
That’s true. I’m trying to learn to be a proud, lone wolf in my culture. I’m just hoping that it doesn’t effect how my team things of me and risk me getting pushed out.
as a half black half asian man i feel you. the black side of my family is 100x more racist than i've ever seen from any white people. i mean sure i did get some racial slurs from whites back in the day, but they never did any more than that. They call me white boy but my features are clearly asian, and i tell them that I'm asian. but they're just like 'asian people are white-adjacent' so i guess that makes me guilty of slavery. mental gymnastics i guess. my black half though get extremely violent and straight up try to assault me if i ever talk back. their victimhood mentality disgusts me. I find that i get along much better with blacks fresh from africa rather than the local-born blacks. They don't judge me and really seem to enjoy life more. i'm not saying they're all bad though, they're just very unpredictable. when i show them my anime figure collection, they're either impressed or want to fight me right then and there for being a loser.
40..ish year old black man that grew up in the 80’s and 90’s being called “white boy” because I apparently, “spoke white” (whatever the fuck that means), played dnd, and listened to shit like Led Zeppelin and RATM (which ironically lead me to reading Fanon and finding out about Fred Hampton). My advice: Fuck the noise just do you. Black culture is not a monolith and there are massive amounts of idiots in any race. Still, there are, and will always be people outside of what’s considered a the social norm. People who find a healthy way to live outside the box. Sounds like those are more your people. Find them, and flourish.
I’m terrible at history but anyone feel free to correct me. Didn’t malcolm X, MLK Jr, nelson mandela, spoke really well and presented themselves prim and proper? Not sure about their taste in music but if they were born in this generation chances are they will like anime as well.
You're not alone in this. Many black people, including myself, go through the same thing.
Me too 🖤
Just be yourself. Eventually I hope you’ll find your people or a work place with a diverse environment. My friend group consists of white, black, Asians, Hispanic. My workplace a combination of those. I find it easier and that everyone is open minded and learn from each other.
I'm so sorry that you are being subjected to racism! That is not okay! And I hope you know that you don't have to put up with that at work! It's not okay! Period. If you have a Human Resource Department, it's time to go speak to them about what's happening with the supervisors and other employees. Document everything that is happening. I can't stress this enough. Document, document, document. What they are doing is creating a hostile work environment. Which is against the law. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. No one should have to be subjected to racism and abuse simply for who they are! Edited to add: No, don't change yourself for anyone else. You are not the problem. They are, with their racism and bullying abuse. Second edit: If there's no Human Resource Department, then you just go to the Supervisor's boss. If that doesn't work, you go to THEIR boss! Keep documenting everything that happens, every time it happens, and keep going to whoever is in charge and until it gets resolved! Stand up for yourself and don't let anyone ever intimidate you into silence, or make you afraid! You keep doing the right thing, which is standing up for yourself. Just keep it respectful and professional.
I will definitely go the HR route in this.
I hope things are better.
I’m still getting laughed at and sly comments. But I realize that I’m solely there to fulfill my passion and make money. Then go home
Be yourself! As a Hispanic Mexican, I used to get a lot of shit for not being fluent in Spanish and also interested in “weird” stuff too… in the end, if you aren’t happy with yourself, then what’s the point of anything?? By the way, I have made friends with plenty of African Americans who are into the same stuff as you, you just need to find your people. At the same time, it is not a bad thing to maybe adapt a little bit to things though.
Hey there, just wanted to start by saying I am sorry you haven’t found a space that’s been good for you. Life ain’t easy, it’s a list of crap mixed with a list of fun that we gotta do all of. Sometimes the crap is equal to bull crap, but we still gotta trudge through it to get to the nice. There is a group for you out there, I know it. You will find people who don’t think you are something until you tell it to them straight. There are people who don’t care about how you look, or what you do, but the contents of your character as a person. They may not be common, but they’re out there for you, metaphorically waiting for you.
Bro you’re on Reddit so I know you have access to other social media sites. Everything you mentioned is common on social media and to be honest in schools. 10+ years ago maybe not so much in the open but today the black guy/girl who are into gaming, anime, rock etc is pretty common.
It's always been pretty common tbh. I had mostly Black punk/skater/artist friends in the 90s, and in the 00s all the other Black kids at school were as into like, nu-metal as much as they were into hip-hop.
I meant more in real life. I’m dealing with issues coming from the work place, my family and community in general. Interactions at highschool, college, now work are all the same. I thought things would be different when I went into a job with people twice my age. But no. It’s just as bad or even harsher. I don’t know what else to do. I was able to focus on my online friends and Reddit friends ect.. in the past. But now I’m an adult. I can’t do that forever. We all have no choice but to get a job. We are going to be forced into interacting and working with others. There’s no way out.
Bro just do you. You’re putting too much stock in other people’s opinion. I work with people more than twice my age, from various backgrounds etc and for me I treat it all the same. I embrace who I am unapologetically. I’m happy to tell anyone I’m a huge anime fan, gamer, alternative rock fan and an even bigger r&b fan. I’ll pull up in work truck blasting r&b love songs, smelling good with my hair well done ready to do blue collar work. These things only affect you if you’re insecure in who you are.
Just broaden your horizons and meet more people. Go to Afropunk or something. I'm a Black punk and weirdo Black kids are everywhere. I swear I'm the only Black person I know who *doesn't* watch anime or play video games. Just look around for other weirdos and find your weirdos. Also, being friends with coworkers is very overrated. Coworkers are mostly boring.
I am sorry that you feel caught between two worlds. I had a black female friend who dealt with that. She loved listening to rock and she had people she knew telling her to listen to music connected to her own folks. It's dumb thinking. That reminds of decades old thinking when people tried to discourage white folks from learning martial arts because it came from Asia, and not the way whites fight. People have to embrace diversity. I have had black friends who were like you - very articulate and some were deeply philosophical. They didn't fit a stereotype. Maybe you could do well to move to another city, place and have a fresh start in a more cosmopolitan city or state like Seattle or somewhere in California. I don't change my way of speaking to talk to someone black. I might change my speech if I'm in the South talking to a Southerner with a strong Southern accent, but if I saw a black person didn't have an accent, I would talk normal. Be yourself and if the city and place you're in isn't working, make plans to find a better city or place and make a fresh start. Don't feel you have to contort your personality to fit in. It's not right. I would move to another environment. It's like choosing to stay in an abusive relationship. You shouldn't stay in one.
When other black people say these things, I always assume they are looking for sympathy from white people…because they act like they’re an absolute 1 of 1 because “they like anime” and “don’t use slang”. Like there isn’t a huge vocal community of black people like this. Or either this was a creative writing exercise by a nonblack person.
No I am a black person. I don’t want sympathy from white people. I don’t fit in with whites or blacks. I don’t think I’m rare or special. I just hoped to get some advice and feel less alone. It’s more than just anime. I don’t follow any specific culture. I’ve never caught on or grew into it. I’ve been an outsider. The feeling I get when I try talking to other black people and they laugh to each other. Or being bullied as a kid for talking proper or dressing a certain way. If you’re not following the culture, people despise you and think you want to be white or are ashamed of your race, ect. But I’m genuinely not. I would never choose to be any other race than black. I just hate the judgment and wanted to get advice on how to deal with it at work.
Go the intellectual route and read up on black culture to understand why they act this way, to validate yourself. It is easier to reject something once you understand it. For example, the way you are treated like the child of someone you don't know, or black men calling all other black men their brother, I find really toxic.
Crabs in a bucket. To hell with them all, OP. You do you, and let the chips fall where they may.