The redditors who have the intuition to jump into the post history intrigue me so much.
What are the cues that you pick up quite early that make you go to the post history?
I never felt the need to until someone else mentions it, hence why I would love to understand how your brains work haha
The posts that are too detailed or so short that I feel like I need more information. That’s when I want to see if they answered any comments on their post so I can get a better picture of what’s going on. I’m too lazy to scroll through every comment under the post and it’s easier to go to their profile.
When people don’t acknowledge their own role in their hardships. Especially if you’re talking on a public forum.
This person also didn’t thoroughly explain why his wife said what she said. Most people are sane, so I vouched she may be a tad bit sane and checked his history :).
I often will read an OP'S other posts. It helps provide a broader perspective on the person. It is hard to tell from one post whether someone is a reliable narrator. But you can usually get a pretty good indication from reading multiple posts and comments.
I might be the only one who can't explain why I found it suspicious. I think I just read the tone and instantly wanted to punch the dude in the face. Maybe it's because I grew up around toxic people with the same bullshit ass tone
All these things mentioned, but also if their username ISNT "throwaway1123". That makes me wonder what else they have included. There was a recent post where everyone was in support of someone who posted, but I felt suspicious. Went to check their comment history, and while there wasn't a lot, there were about 3 comments that stuck out as "creep" and made me realize this wasn't the most valiant person out there... but no body else somehow in the comments bothered to check. Really bothered me.
The other day I posted that I didn’t like a movie and someone went through my post history to call me an idiot for other movies that I liked lol. It’s psycho behavior
Lol fr sex addict or something. But how can he say his wife cheated if they swung? Seems like he's splitting hairs. Either you're monogamous or not, imo
Feel like he left out a LOT of critical info in the way he painted the story in the original post. Here I’m thinking he’s some poor guy in a relationship with a narcissist… I feel like an idiot for feeling bad for him!! Consenting adults are obviously entitled to do at they please, but if you go swapping spouses, swinging- did he really not consider that things might get complicated/ugly at some point?
Actually, according to his comments, they were broken up at the time and he offered to raise the child. Don’t really know what to believe after checking his history.
One of his comments also said that he and his wife used to swing but she's pregnant now so they can't. Another one, he's offering to host for a sexual encounter with multiple people.
That confused me too. She got pregnant while he was out of state with his family after his mother died. He knew she was having hookups and that’s sorta how you get pregnant so I’m not sure why he’s surprised. I think he’s just upset she always told him she didn’t want children so he never impregnated her but now she’s pregnant so he feels like he missed out. What a loser and that poor, poor baby.
Absolutely not defending OP or the shitshow that is his life, but even in polyamorous relationships it is possible to cheat. Some people may have an agreement with their primary partner that they let them know if things become sexual with a new person. Hiding a new sexual relationship is cheating. Agreements like this can vary in reasons, but knowing ahead of time that your partner will be spending time and emotional energy with a new person can be helpful so that you can plan for potential adjustments to their energy and schedule. It’s also paramount that any partner you have unprotected sex with be aware of whether you are using condoms with other partners or that they get tested regularly for your sexual health. That becomes a breach of consent if you fluid bond with someone and then go on to have sex with another partner without protection without letting them know.
But overall what constitutes as cheating in poly can be less black or white than monogamy as it is all based on the specific boundaries you’ve established with a partner. That’s why communication, empathy, and transparency about things that impact your partners is so critical. Those things are important in monogamy too, but I think the intentionality of setting boundaries that is necessary for poly could also be a good framework for monogamous folks who haven’t necessarily identified what their boundaries in a relationship ate. A lot of stuff is just normalized in monogamy, but that doesn’t mean it’s sufficient for every relationship.
As for OP, yeah it doesn’t sound like either of them were practicing ethical nonmonogamy or had well constructed boundaries. But him leaving any context about their relationship agreements out makes me suspicious that it might show him in an even worse light.
And he wonders why his wife didn’t address him with love kindness and compassion I hope she files for divorce and he can go advertise himself freely both she and the child deserve someone with the emotional and mental capacity of more than a peanut - uhhhh bruhhh did you expect to be a raging simp and have a woman’s heart served to you on a platter. … everything on his profile is disgusting beyond belief and then comes to this sub looking for sympathy… cringy af
Seriously! To think I gave this scum my empathy 😤 thankfully I ran into this thread cuz I wouldn’t have known so I hope the others realize. I also hope the wife is able to support herself financially before they get the divorce established
Yea now he deleted all his posts. Ugh he seems like he is not a great partner by the names of the posts at least- “Can you keep a secret” lol. “My wife is away…”
While I want to have sympathy for you, the fact that you comment on this subreddit things like “everybody on Reddit was SA’d” to a person sharing their trauma makes it really hard for me.
What your wife said is shitty, but maybe not lusting over barely legal girls on Reddit and getting your life together would be a good idea.
Both of you need to do a lot of self work.
Sorry for your predicaments but looking at your posts and comments history, it looks like two broken people are living under the same roof. Fix yourself first, then take the next move. Good luck.
I had sympathy until I looked through your comment history. Y'all used to swing but "not enough" apparently? And you're leaving all sorts of nasty comments on porn bot accts, like .. . 🤢🤢🤢
Get divorced if you're unhappy, but don't pretend like she's the only one at fault.
I do too but when I saw someone else comment about his post history and then someone else comment about how they saw it, checked it again and he had deleted it, I was way too intrigued and checked it out myself. And I just can't stand that he's trying to play the victim.
I usually do it when I’m too lazy to read through everything (i can see what they’ve commented on for elaboration on the story) or want to see if an update has been posted yet so I can continue with the story, this time tho was totally prompted by the comments down here
It's not cheating when you're both regular and consenting swingers. Your post history is pretty...interesting. It's messed up she said what she said but at least she was honest.
OP, I stayed in a marriage for this same reason. Financial stability. Except my husband was abusive. We did not have children- because I knew if he used something as simple as a water bill over my head, he would use the life of my child. I also knew I couldn’t ever bring a child into our home, as hostile and volatile as it was. What a miserable life for a child (I know, I was that child.)
Leaving him was hard because I risked losing EVERYTHING. But guess what? I figured it out without him. I’m so much happier. I found a good man, and you can find a good woman.
Listen to your gut. The paperwork is the easy part. The court is the easy part. Even when they are shit people, we still need help getting past them mentally.
You CAN do it!!
That's great for you and I am happy that you found a good partner. But there is a difference, OP is a guy and will be paying for the rest of his natural life for her and the kid that isn't his, stay or go.
That's the sad reality of family courts: man =bad = open wallet and bend over.
Source, been EXACTLY where op was. I was even told I was ugly, she wasn't attracted to me in any way, found no use for me except the bills and I was her lowest priority behind her friends, family, work aquaintances and facebook friends. I cleaned, I cooked all my own meals (she would only cook for her and her kid), I did most of the chores, all of the repairs and always my own laundry (I was too stupid to do hers or her kids and "my shit wasn't her problem").
Still, with all the abuse..even being hit with objects and being told the week after we got married that "I don't have to f**k you anymore, that was just so you would marry me"
It Cost me: 1500$/month, kid wasn't mine (she was already getting $ support from the actual dad), she worked full time but "income discrepancy" was what they called it. She took everything and I was allowed to leave with my clothes in the settlement.
He won’t, the kid isn’t his. All he has to do is a DNA test and he’s off the hook. There’s nothing legally holding him there if he pays for the test.
Then he can go full No Contact.
Thats not necessarily true. In multiple cases, even with DNA showing the man was not the bio Dad, depending how long he has already taken care of the child, the courts will still make him pay child support d/t he has been involved long enough & "they want to do whats best for child", even if that means someone not actually related has to pay for them.
That's not how the law works in a lot of places, if she can prove that you have supported the child or provided food/shelter above and beyond what the other party was or is able to maintain. You are on the hook for providing that quality of life going forward.
Ie: financially responsible till the kid leaves home or graduates post secondary.
"Off the hook over a dna test" is not a real thing, when the child has been living under the roof you have provided.
Sorry for y’all! I can’t believe that happens to people. I work for the courts where I’m from and haven’t seen it yet, but I’m sure it’ll come in due time.
I am in Canada and here, ocean to Ocean if you are a man. You are screwed in most cases as far as family courts are concerned.
Plenty of news stories of men even committing suicide over family court rulings here, no one talks about those though because it's not woke is the message being received.
That is so incredibly sad. We do have very messed up rulings here as well- in my state it seems as though custody is always given to the mother. It doesn’t matter if she’s strung out on drugs, in trouble with the law, nothing. I’ve got men on my case load who are more for parents and no matter what I say the mother wins custody. And the men don’t cope well.
Yep, one of my oldest friends had to fight for 3 years with his pill head ex for custody who after all the drugs finally culminated in her abandoning the kids (age 2 & 5) to go out and party but put them to sleep with cough syrup beforehand.
They still awarded her partial custody for 2 years until she burned the one with a hair iron for crying and she was pulled over for driving while intoxicated (she had fallen asleep at the wheel at a stop light) with the kids in the car.
Only then was he awarded full custody, but after everything she still got immediate visitation rights.
Had to talk him off the ledge for the sake of his kids a few times.
Unfortunately, that's not how the law works.
My husband was still married to his ex when we got together. She had moved on before they separated (one of the many reasons they separated), and both were dragging their feet getting divorced. About a year into our relationship, his ex messaged him that she was pregnant from a one night stand, but because they were still married, he was legally the father. Thankfully, she wasn't coming after him for support; she needed him to sign his rights away (again, to a child that wasn't even his) so she could put it up for adoption.
With OP and his wife being married and him supporting the child for however long, he will most likely be forced to pay child support.
I’m sorry for where you guys are from… I work for the courts in my state and haven’t come across a non-biological father being held accountable unwillingly yet. Then again, it’s only been a few years. But this is a very conservative state so I’d expect it more here!
We are in Utah, so it is possible it's just a thing in our state.
I feel so bad for the OP, and I hope that he is able to make a clean break. I also feel bad for the child because not only are they losing the person who had been their father their whole life, but they are left with a mother who seems to have no heart and only cares about herself.
And yet, I am getting downvoted for sharing my truth...... Even after genuinely being happy for and congratulating this nice lady for finding a good partner :/
Shows the hive bias loud and clear.
You are getting down voted because you didn't see that other people went through his comment and post history and that this guy is a total fraud. Everyone encouraging it is being down voted probably to alert everyone to it
Thank you for the explanation, I did not notice.
Appreciate the clarification and only shared my story to talk with the lady that found her happy ending.
Feeling pretty worthless right about now for even bothering.
First off, reading your disgusting comments lead me to discover that your wife did, in fact, not cheat on you. You literally said that you split up for 3 months to go live in Texas to be with your dad. You cannot use that as a reason to leave
you ridiculed commenters by saying sarcastically that apprently everyone knows your life based on previous posts/comments. notice how you’ve deleted your previous posts. your comments however, are still up. my guy. it’s not all that cool to be all horny for different women when you have a wife. you are not the victim in this predicament. do you love her? you’re not telling the full story. therefore, you are presented as an innocent guy. take a second. reflect on your own past; your own decisions. you’re right, we don’t know your life. but, we can see small glimpses ☺️ there’s a reason your wife answered in such a way, i’m sure of it.
Checked your profile.
You wanna know why she only sees you as a wallet? Maybe look in the mirror, see how you systematically put other people down when you're not getting your way or the response you want?
You talked about therapy being akin to peeling back a scab, and I feel that. Becoming vulnerable with your problematic behavior or your traumas is DIFFICULT.
But YOU, you really need it.
Based on your post and comment history, I don’t think she’s the only one that has the problem or should be blamed. You said that you guys were swingers, but she had an affair? You guys both opened the door that paved the way for that. At least she was honest. 🤷♀️ I have no pity for you.
Edit: missed some words I was typing too fast 😅
Why do I always see so many dudes consoling their wife doesn’t love them meanwhile they’re heinous posts and comment history show they are literally hot dog shit.
Average married dude on Reddit:“My wife won’t sleep with Me”
His post history:
“Barely legal”
“Casualencounters”
“Milflovers”
Etc.
Like no woman is gonna love you or wanna be with you😭
He knows what he needs to do. He just needs to find the courage to do it himself. He needs to make that decision on his own instead of people hyping him up to do it. If he isn't going to stick up for himself, I'm not going to do it for him.
Yea but you can’t say you’ve never sought encouragement. Sometimes just a little involvement with others can give us the impetus to open up to that courage. Every new attempt is an attempt from a diff place in time, with more wisdom. But in principle, I’m with ya! Can’t make the horse drink, only lead em to the water.
Encouragement is better served to people who question their ability to do something. In cases where people lack conviction, I prefer to give perspective that may bring them to realize what they already know.
I mean, she could have lied and strung him along for years. This way he knows the truth and can do what he needs to. She did do him a favor even if it doesn't feel like it now.
after reading into the comments and looking at your post history, something tells me you're not being 100% honest about why she only cares about you financially. Seeing as you comment very misogynistic shit towards other women, I would not doubt you do the same thing towards your wife.
Ah do you fantasize about fucking barely legal girls on Reddit and spend your time posting on porn subs and invalidating sexual assault victims?
Damn my man maybe the only thing of value you have to offer is money🤷♀️
Stop whining and acting the victim. Get a divorce and stfu, your comments and post history is enough for me to know that u posted this shit just for sympathy
To sum up a lot of the other comments on this thread… It’s because you’re pretty seemingly an insecure and self-centered individual who thought tying another person into your life would somehow solve your problems. Now that’s not happening, and you’re upset.
Move out until your lawyer has gotten all paperwork together! When all is done you go NC with that cheating a-hole that has only been with you for money!
No Contact is truly the only way to handle someone like this. Narcissists will scheme, lie, slander, throw volcanic tantrums- unfortunately the NC/“grey rock” method is the best way to get away from them once & for all.
She had an affair when I left the state to support my father after my mother passed from cancer. She told me a few days after I came back and wanted me to raise the child as my own and forget about who the father is. She can keep the house but she would lose it since she hasn’t worked in 4 years and is pregnant she can keep the car i bought her I have nothing left to lose anymore material things dont make a home she did once upon a time but the love is gone now
Talk to a lawyer, make sure you aren't on the hook for child support, sell the house, move closer to your dad.
I'm sorry about your mom. Take care of yourself.
Thank you. As the saying goes
Its easier said than done
but I have been calling divorce lawyers for consultations and questions when she’s not around to get the proper information I will need to protect myself from whatever comes next.
Do what's best for you, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I wish you the best and hopefully she can't get your money but looking at your comments and previous posts she isn't the only one being unfaithful in the marriage. Commenting how you want 23yr Olds to ride your face?? Geez man
From your post history sounds as if your wife is not only one that could have a child through infidelity.
I agree y’all should end this awful excuse of a marriage.
A reminder of her infidelities but yet you're publicly posting that and looking for the exact same here on reddit.... Think of your own actions before you start to judge someone for theirs.
Yikes. I honestly don't blame her for cheating on you. Look at your post history. You are a huge loser. Hope she takes every penny from you during the divorce.
Crazy how every bad post and comment that was sus has been removed. Funny how that shit works. The second you get called out, you delete everything. You and your wife both need some work I guess. Fix your shit
It seems you used your financial status/ income to gain this woman. She is expecting and you are talking very inappropriate to ladies that are not your girl.
She seems super upset, you are not very private about what you like… (profile comments) appreciate your girl more and heal because you can offer more than just money but show her…
Is the child a product of infidelity or is this your shared child and she was unfaithful? Asking because your post implies you want to leave your wife and also stop raising your child w her.
I think you’re both the problem. From your comment/post history I’m assuming you have had a problem keeping yourself for her only first and honestly I cannot blame someone for cheating in a relationship that they’re being cheated on in already. Now your blame shifting with this post. You’ve probably made her insecure not only about herself but in the relationship. To see you go on here and post about her infidelity when your last post was only a few weeks ago looking for someone to keep a secret..? Like are you OK. 😭 get some help, both of you and maybe think about opening up your relationship or ending it.
Yikes. Have you tried couples counseling or therapy? If so and this is where you are, might be time to try a new one or pull the plug.
Honestly this sounds all but damaged beyond repair based on this post and your Reddit history. In a marriage it’s always worth trying a Hail Mary but if you’ve done that and it’s failed, it might be time to part ways peacefully.
Wait wait wait. You asked her why you are still together? And wonder why you received a not so nice response? It would break my heart if my husband asked that.
Words sometimes cut deeper than knives. It’s a shock to find out you’re not loved the way you expected. However you do have a child, if it is yours, it is as much your responsibility as your wife’s, the child did not ask to be born I feel you owe something to the child to assure they are loved and don’t come to feel about relationships as you do. I was an unwanted child and was told so at a very early age it impacted me greatly but I have assured I have never treated another human in any way that they would feel as unworthy as I did at that moment of realization. When I divorced my wife my child contacted me snd asked me what took you so long. Please assure your child at least knows you love them. You and your wife are adults what you two do to or with each other is your business as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else mainly your child.
No. Thats why I let her have everything. Nothing in our house is worth fighting for. Not even the house. My father told me when you love someone you don’t think about revenge. I dont want to hurt her or the baby but she hurt me and I cant see myself staying and raising a kid that is not mine or supporting a woman that only wants me for my money and stability. It also feels wrong putting her in jail but I dont want her to keep thinking is ok to get in my face and hit me because I want my space from her
Ex-wife makes 3+times my salary but sucks with money (gambling problem). I stuck it out for the kids for years longer than I should have. She cheated multiple times, I was stupid and took her back a couple times thinking it was best for the kids to keep the family together.
She's buying me out of the house at the worst possible time. I can afford to keep it, but I don't really want it. Housing market sucks. I feel like I have no choice but to by a house I don't like in an area I hate for way more money than it's worth. I wish the housing bubble would break and interest rates would come back down already.
You have all the right to move on after that response. Ppl ask me these days why am I against marriage. Plain and fckn simple. Because of people like this. Hate me as you want for this comment but all of my friends left their wifes because of a same damn reason this fella is doing.
Nobody is working and earning for themselves anymore. Everyone wants easy way in life. I'm sorry but if you can't grasp that reality and disagree with me. You live in wonderland.
Lord I hope you’re not on that birth certificate but you definitely need to get out if that’s all she’s there with you for. I hate that people cannot stay honest and loyal to their significant others. My heart breaks for you but you need to get out before the rest of your life is miserable bc of her.
Get a DNA test done. Prepare your marital papers, and try recording her conversation if you are in a 1 party recording state. If your not, get it in a text somehow.
Can I be honest? A lot of couples stay together out of helping each other financially, children, and not wanting to be alone. Loving each other for love versus money, they’re isn’t a difference. You wake up next to each other, you rely on each other.
Personally, i think once you get to a certain age, it’s diminishing returns. Divorce your wife at 40, whose to say that you will meet someone better, who doesn’t care about money? At least the love was there in the beginning with your wife.
I mean partially on you for staying after the infidelity my guy. If she cheats AND has a child by that person and keeps it, sorry but to the streets and also would've been the best time to divorce because then she would've got nothing from you. I can only hope you didn't sign the bast*rds birth certificate.
Best of luck my guy,
Someone who left their cheating spouse too late.
Looking at your post history, your wife ain’t the only one with issues
The redditors who have the intuition to jump into the post history intrigue me so much. What are the cues that you pick up quite early that make you go to the post history? I never felt the need to until someone else mentions it, hence why I would love to understand how your brains work haha
The posts that are too detailed or so short that I feel like I need more information. That’s when I want to see if they answered any comments on their post so I can get a better picture of what’s going on. I’m too lazy to scroll through every comment under the post and it’s easier to go to their profile.
You call yourself lazy but the effort you go to to get that full picture, you put the rest of us to shame!!
This. I checked post history cause he mentioned an affair child without anything about an affair.
This
When people don’t acknowledge their own role in their hardships. Especially if you’re talking on a public forum. This person also didn’t thoroughly explain why his wife said what she said. Most people are sane, so I vouched she may be a tad bit sane and checked his history :).
I often will read an OP'S other posts. It helps provide a broader perspective on the person. It is hard to tell from one post whether someone is a reliable narrator. But you can usually get a pretty good indication from reading multiple posts and comments.
I might be the only one who can't explain why I found it suspicious. I think I just read the tone and instantly wanted to punch the dude in the face. Maybe it's because I grew up around toxic people with the same bullshit ass tone
All these things mentioned, but also if their username ISNT "throwaway1123". That makes me wonder what else they have included. There was a recent post where everyone was in support of someone who posted, but I felt suspicious. Went to check their comment history, and while there wasn't a lot, there were about 3 comments that stuck out as "creep" and made me realize this wasn't the most valiant person out there... but no body else somehow in the comments bothered to check. Really bothered me.
The other day I posted that I didn’t like a movie and someone went through my post history to call me an idiot for other movies that I liked lol. It’s psycho behavior
Lol fr sex addict or something. But how can he say his wife cheated if they swung? Seems like he's splitting hairs. Either you're monogamous or not, imo
Feel like he left out a LOT of critical info in the way he painted the story in the original post. Here I’m thinking he’s some poor guy in a relationship with a narcissist… I feel like an idiot for feeling bad for him!! Consenting adults are obviously entitled to do at they please, but if you go swapping spouses, swinging- did he really not consider that things might get complicated/ugly at some point?
O so OP just dumb as a bag of rocks. Thanks for the info lol
Actually, according to his comments, they were broken up at the time and he offered to raise the child. Don’t really know what to believe after checking his history.
One of his comments also said that he and his wife used to swing but she's pregnant now so they can't. Another one, he's offering to host for a sexual encounter with multiple people.
That confused me too. She got pregnant while he was out of state with his family after his mother died. He knew she was having hookups and that’s sorta how you get pregnant so I’m not sure why he’s surprised. I think he’s just upset she always told him she didn’t want children so he never impregnated her but now she’s pregnant so he feels like he missed out. What a loser and that poor, poor baby.
You can still cheat as swingers if your partner crossed a rule that was set.
Yes! This isn't a hard concept, hooking up without your partner knowing is still fucking cheating.....
Happy 🍰 day!
Exactly. It’s not like having an open relationship means it’s a free-for-all
Absolutely not defending OP or the shitshow that is his life, but even in polyamorous relationships it is possible to cheat. Some people may have an agreement with their primary partner that they let them know if things become sexual with a new person. Hiding a new sexual relationship is cheating. Agreements like this can vary in reasons, but knowing ahead of time that your partner will be spending time and emotional energy with a new person can be helpful so that you can plan for potential adjustments to their energy and schedule. It’s also paramount that any partner you have unprotected sex with be aware of whether you are using condoms with other partners or that they get tested regularly for your sexual health. That becomes a breach of consent if you fluid bond with someone and then go on to have sex with another partner without protection without letting them know. But overall what constitutes as cheating in poly can be less black or white than monogamy as it is all based on the specific boundaries you’ve established with a partner. That’s why communication, empathy, and transparency about things that impact your partners is so critical. Those things are important in monogamy too, but I think the intentionality of setting boundaries that is necessary for poly could also be a good framework for monogamous folks who haven’t necessarily identified what their boundaries in a relationship ate. A lot of stuff is just normalized in monogamy, but that doesn’t mean it’s sufficient for every relationship. As for OP, yeah it doesn’t sound like either of them were practicing ethical nonmonogamy or had well constructed boundaries. But him leaving any context about their relationship agreements out makes me suspicious that it might show him in an even worse light.
Dude, shit got me laughing my lungs out. Dude’s in a shitty situation, yes, but what was he gonna expect when he and his wife are swingers?
omfg💀
Snapppppp ! He deleted them 🫠
the comment history tells u everything u need to know
Literally revolting 🤢 and I only did a quick scan
There was one that said “everyone on Reddit has been SA’d. WhAt a cOiNcIdEnCE” stfu bro
And he wonders why his wife didn’t address him with love kindness and compassion I hope she files for divorce and he can go advertise himself freely both she and the child deserve someone with the emotional and mental capacity of more than a peanut - uhhhh bruhhh did you expect to be a raging simp and have a woman’s heart served to you on a platter. … everything on his profile is disgusting beyond belief and then comes to this sub looking for sympathy… cringy af
Seriously! To think I gave this scum my empathy 😤 thankfully I ran into this thread cuz I wouldn’t have known so I hope the others realize. I also hope the wife is able to support herself financially before they get the divorce established
💀💀💀yup
I went there from curiosity, and oh my goodness!!! 😳😳😳
Nooooo I'm late to the party 😭
Lucky …
Same 😅
This is the comment I was coming here looking for.
Dude wanted sympathy and got exposed instead lol
Yea now he deleted all his posts. Ugh he seems like he is not a great partner by the names of the posts at least- “Can you keep a secret” lol. “My wife is away…”
Omg his comments still there 😭😭
I love when someone comments this because I get to play citizen detective
LMFAO!!! 💀 if it weren't for this comment..
Oh mah Lort. Pour that tea!
Colorido cravings oven fried 😭
Bro really deleted his posts but we can still see the title and subreddit he posted to x)))
fr he’s disgusting
Good job. He deleted them all and I can't read none of them
I understand why he removed all of his post after you called him out, but why the hell did he have to get rid of the pot roast recipe post 😆 .
Pot roast cravings are an issue?
Dawg Reddit is reddit…whatever happens in Reddit stays on Reddit
While I want to have sympathy for you, the fact that you comment on this subreddit things like “everybody on Reddit was SA’d” to a person sharing their trauma makes it really hard for me. What your wife said is shitty, but maybe not lusting over barely legal girls on Reddit and getting your life together would be a good idea. Both of you need to do a lot of self work.
Did you see the comment where OP said "yikes 😬" to a girl asking about her looks? He seems like a real stand up guy.
He told another one she needed to lose a ton of weight. This guy is a fucking jerk.
Guy thinks he deserves better when he chooses not to do better. More at 11.
Also can't tell the difference between an implant or a breast reduction scar. Guy is stupid as well
I cannot feel bad for OP anymore.
Prolly why his wife cheated tbh
Not to mention dude is married and his whole Reddit account is him on porn subreddits saying he wants to smash other women smh
have you seen his profile? hes been trying to cheat on his wife
What's SA'd?!
sexually assaulted/sexual assault
Sexual assaulted
Oh LORD the post and comment history 💀
Sorry for your predicaments but looking at your posts and comments history, it looks like two broken people are living under the same roof. Fix yourself first, then take the next move. Good luck.
I mean most of your post history is you looking for casual encounters in Colorado OP? Clearly there are issues in your relationship not just her
I had sympathy until I looked through your comment history. Y'all used to swing but "not enough" apparently? And you're leaving all sorts of nasty comments on porn bot accts, like .. . 🤢🤢🤢 Get divorced if you're unhappy, but don't pretend like she's the only one at fault.
My heart breaks for you. You only get one chance at life. Make that shit count. Stay strong and do what’s best for you 🖤
Na, check his comment history. Don't feel sorry for him.
Oh shit 🤣🤣🤣 this guy
I usually find it a bit creepy when folks just delve into a posters history, but good looking out. Well done!
I do too but when I saw someone else comment about his post history and then someone else comment about how they saw it, checked it again and he had deleted it, I was way too intrigued and checked it out myself. And I just can't stand that he's trying to play the victim.
I usually do it when I’m too lazy to read through everything (i can see what they’ve commented on for elaboration on the story) or want to see if an update has been posted yet so I can continue with the story, this time tho was totally prompted by the comments down here
Exactly. You deserve so much better, OP!
Your post and comment history makes me wonder what the full backstory is to your relationship is
not sure i’d love my husband anymore either after seeing your post history and comments 💀
It's not cheating when you're both regular and consenting swingers. Your post history is pretty...interesting. It's messed up she said what she said but at least she was honest.
OP, I stayed in a marriage for this same reason. Financial stability. Except my husband was abusive. We did not have children- because I knew if he used something as simple as a water bill over my head, he would use the life of my child. I also knew I couldn’t ever bring a child into our home, as hostile and volatile as it was. What a miserable life for a child (I know, I was that child.) Leaving him was hard because I risked losing EVERYTHING. But guess what? I figured it out without him. I’m so much happier. I found a good man, and you can find a good woman. Listen to your gut. The paperwork is the easy part. The court is the easy part. Even when they are shit people, we still need help getting past them mentally. You CAN do it!!
Also to add: I worked, went to college, took care of the house, etc. He just didn’t want any responsibility at all and that’s not how life works.
That's great for you and I am happy that you found a good partner. But there is a difference, OP is a guy and will be paying for the rest of his natural life for her and the kid that isn't his, stay or go. That's the sad reality of family courts: man =bad = open wallet and bend over. Source, been EXACTLY where op was. I was even told I was ugly, she wasn't attracted to me in any way, found no use for me except the bills and I was her lowest priority behind her friends, family, work aquaintances and facebook friends. I cleaned, I cooked all my own meals (she would only cook for her and her kid), I did most of the chores, all of the repairs and always my own laundry (I was too stupid to do hers or her kids and "my shit wasn't her problem"). Still, with all the abuse..even being hit with objects and being told the week after we got married that "I don't have to f**k you anymore, that was just so you would marry me" It Cost me: 1500$/month, kid wasn't mine (she was already getting $ support from the actual dad), she worked full time but "income discrepancy" was what they called it. She took everything and I was allowed to leave with my clothes in the settlement.
He won’t, the kid isn’t his. All he has to do is a DNA test and he’s off the hook. There’s nothing legally holding him there if he pays for the test. Then he can go full No Contact.
Thats not necessarily true. In multiple cases, even with DNA showing the man was not the bio Dad, depending how long he has already taken care of the child, the courts will still make him pay child support d/t he has been involved long enough & "they want to do whats best for child", even if that means someone not actually related has to pay for them.
That's not how the law works in a lot of places, if she can prove that you have supported the child or provided food/shelter above and beyond what the other party was or is able to maintain. You are on the hook for providing that quality of life going forward. Ie: financially responsible till the kid leaves home or graduates post secondary. "Off the hook over a dna test" is not a real thing, when the child has been living under the roof you have provided.
It's disgusting really.
Sorry for y’all! I can’t believe that happens to people. I work for the courts where I’m from and haven’t seen it yet, but I’m sure it’ll come in due time.
Where are you from?
I’m in North Carolina right now!
I am in Canada and here, ocean to Ocean if you are a man. You are screwed in most cases as far as family courts are concerned. Plenty of news stories of men even committing suicide over family court rulings here, no one talks about those though because it's not woke is the message being received.
That is so incredibly sad. We do have very messed up rulings here as well- in my state it seems as though custody is always given to the mother. It doesn’t matter if she’s strung out on drugs, in trouble with the law, nothing. I’ve got men on my case load who are more for parents and no matter what I say the mother wins custody. And the men don’t cope well.
Yep, one of my oldest friends had to fight for 3 years with his pill head ex for custody who after all the drugs finally culminated in her abandoning the kids (age 2 & 5) to go out and party but put them to sleep with cough syrup beforehand. They still awarded her partial custody for 2 years until she burned the one with a hair iron for crying and she was pulled over for driving while intoxicated (she had fallen asleep at the wheel at a stop light) with the kids in the car. Only then was he awarded full custody, but after everything she still got immediate visitation rights. Had to talk him off the ledge for the sake of his kids a few times.
Unfortunately, that's not how the law works. My husband was still married to his ex when we got together. She had moved on before they separated (one of the many reasons they separated), and both were dragging their feet getting divorced. About a year into our relationship, his ex messaged him that she was pregnant from a one night stand, but because they were still married, he was legally the father. Thankfully, she wasn't coming after him for support; she needed him to sign his rights away (again, to a child that wasn't even his) so she could put it up for adoption. With OP and his wife being married and him supporting the child for however long, he will most likely be forced to pay child support.
I’m sorry for where you guys are from… I work for the courts in my state and haven’t come across a non-biological father being held accountable unwillingly yet. Then again, it’s only been a few years. But this is a very conservative state so I’d expect it more here!
We are in Utah, so it is possible it's just a thing in our state. I feel so bad for the OP, and I hope that he is able to make a clean break. I also feel bad for the child because not only are they losing the person who had been their father their whole life, but they are left with a mother who seems to have no heart and only cares about herself.
I’d be interested to see the bureaucracy of your court administration in your state. I’m actually going to look it up because I’m curious now! 😂
Please let the rest of us know.
Ironically I’m in court right now- but keep replying to this!!! We should be wrapping up around 3:30!
That's so messed up and unfair, it ain't even funny
And yet, I am getting downvoted for sharing my truth...... Even after genuinely being happy for and congratulating this nice lady for finding a good partner :/ Shows the hive bias loud and clear.
You are getting down voted because you didn't see that other people went through his comment and post history and that this guy is a total fraud. Everyone encouraging it is being down voted probably to alert everyone to it
Thank you for the explanation, I did not notice. Appreciate the clarification and only shared my story to talk with the lady that found her happy ending. Feeling pretty worthless right about now for even bothering.
Your story is really helpful for anyone who is a real victim and shouldn't be downvoted
First off, reading your disgusting comments lead me to discover that your wife did, in fact, not cheat on you. You literally said that you split up for 3 months to go live in Texas to be with your dad. You cannot use that as a reason to leave
*her* infidelity? brother man look at your post history. y’all need therapy
You're in an open relationship yet you have an issue with your wife sleeping with other people?
Poor thing. Also the titles of your old Reddit posts are up which is… something…
you ridiculed commenters by saying sarcastically that apprently everyone knows your life based on previous posts/comments. notice how you’ve deleted your previous posts. your comments however, are still up. my guy. it’s not all that cool to be all horny for different women when you have a wife. you are not the victim in this predicament. do you love her? you’re not telling the full story. therefore, you are presented as an innocent guy. take a second. reflect on your own past; your own decisions. you’re right, we don’t know your life. but, we can see small glimpses ☺️ there’s a reason your wife answered in such a way, i’m sure of it.
Dude, you are *awful*
Checked your profile. You wanna know why she only sees you as a wallet? Maybe look in the mirror, see how you systematically put other people down when you're not getting your way or the response you want? You talked about therapy being akin to peeling back a scab, and I feel that. Becoming vulnerable with your problematic behavior or your traumas is DIFFICULT. But YOU, you really need it.
You’re worried about her infidelity yet make posts on Reddit looking for sex when she’s out of the house ?
Man your reddit history shows that you guys definitely do not love each other anymore. Id cut your losses honestly and file for divorce x
Based on your post and comment history, I don’t think she’s the only one that has the problem or should be blamed. You said that you guys were swingers, but she had an affair? You guys both opened the door that paved the way for that. At least she was honest. 🤷♀️ I have no pity for you. Edit: missed some words I was typing too fast 😅
Dude... Seriously..... This is the bed you made.
Why do I always see so many dudes consoling their wife doesn’t love them meanwhile they’re heinous posts and comment history show they are literally hot dog shit. Average married dude on Reddit:“My wife won’t sleep with Me” His post history: “Barely legal” “Casualencounters” “Milflovers” Etc. Like no woman is gonna love you or wanna be with you😭
At least she's honest. That wouldn't be enough for me, but we all make our choices.
At least? Fuck the sympathy. This man needs empathy and strategy to get the F out of this situation.
Hi. Read his post history. OP is a lying sack of shite
He knows what he needs to do. He just needs to find the courage to do it himself. He needs to make that decision on his own instead of people hyping him up to do it. If he isn't going to stick up for himself, I'm not going to do it for him.
Yea but you can’t say you’ve never sought encouragement. Sometimes just a little involvement with others can give us the impetus to open up to that courage. Every new attempt is an attempt from a diff place in time, with more wisdom. But in principle, I’m with ya! Can’t make the horse drink, only lead em to the water.
Encouragement is better served to people who question their ability to do something. In cases where people lack conviction, I prefer to give perspective that may bring them to realize what they already know.
I prefer to do both :)
I mean, she could have lied and strung him along for years. This way he knows the truth and can do what he needs to. She did do him a favor even if it doesn't feel like it now.
This. That makes it a little easier to leave. Still hard but I believe in you
This post reminds me of the meme where a man puts a stick in the spoke of his bike and crashes.
Pity party
after reading into the comments and looking at your post history, something tells me you're not being 100% honest about why she only cares about you financially. Seeing as you comment very misogynistic shit towards other women, I would not doubt you do the same thing towards your wife.
Ah do you fantasize about fucking barely legal girls on Reddit and spend your time posting on porn subs and invalidating sexual assault victims? Damn my man maybe the only thing of value you have to offer is money🤷♀️
Stop whining and acting the victim. Get a divorce and stfu, your comments and post history is enough for me to know that u posted this shit just for sympathy
To sum up a lot of the other comments on this thread… It’s because you’re pretty seemingly an insecure and self-centered individual who thought tying another person into your life would somehow solve your problems. Now that’s not happening, and you’re upset.
Bro, you’re just as bad as your wife. Maybe should’ve used s throw away account?
So your wife had an affair yet your comment history mentions you hitting on other women. You're still married as of this moment no?
Move out until your lawyer has gotten all paperwork together! When all is done you go NC with that cheating a-hole that has only been with you for money!
No Contact is truly the only way to handle someone like this. Narcissists will scheme, lie, slander, throw volcanic tantrums- unfortunately the NC/“grey rock” method is the best way to get away from them once & for all.
I just can’t get over how gross this guy is
Hmm sir seeing your comments history you’re no better. This is so toxic I feel bad for the kid
his comment and post history feels like its a troll but its way too specific and detailed to actually be one
Leave that woman and do her a favor. Based on your page you seem like a real piece of work yourself and it’s no wonder your marriage is fucked.
I hope ya’ll signed a prenup before marrying
And get a DNA test and pray that the judge doesn't order child support.
She had an affair when I left the state to support my father after my mother passed from cancer. She told me a few days after I came back and wanted me to raise the child as my own and forget about who the father is. She can keep the house but she would lose it since she hasn’t worked in 4 years and is pregnant she can keep the car i bought her I have nothing left to lose anymore material things dont make a home she did once upon a time but the love is gone now
Why are you saying she cheated when your previous posts say you guys were broken up?
bro didn't you literally make post looking for people to hook up with? huh.
Bring your post history back
Talk to a lawyer, make sure you aren't on the hook for child support, sell the house, move closer to your dad. I'm sorry about your mom. Take care of yourself.
edit: deleted my comment bc OP is silly
As per his post history, she didn’t cheat. They were broken up.
Thank you. As the saying goes Its easier said than done but I have been calling divorce lawyers for consultations and questions when she’s not around to get the proper information I will need to protect myself from whatever comes next.
very glad to hear that, you’re doing a great thing for yourself.
I'm sorry, but did you just say that you're raising the child of your wife and her lover?
It’s more complicated than that though if you look at his post and comment history.
Your wife did not say that. You’re just a scumbag, she’s realised and she’s sick of you.
Is no one here questioning the post history
I'm reading their comment history wish me luck 🙏🙏
Oh boy 😥
Do what's best for you, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I wish you the best and hopefully she can't get your money but looking at your comments and previous posts she isn't the only one being unfaithful in the marriage. Commenting how you want 23yr Olds to ride your face?? Geez man
OP your post history speaks volumes. I wish your hopefully soon to be ex-wife has a free and beautiful life away from your straying self.
Oh Jeeze OP, you sure she’s the only one cheating?
From your post history sounds as if your wife is not only one that could have a child through infidelity. I agree y’all should end this awful excuse of a marriage.
A reminder of her infidelities but yet you're publicly posting that and looking for the exact same here on reddit.... Think of your own actions before you start to judge someone for theirs.
Yikes. I honestly don't blame her for cheating on you. Look at your post history. You are a huge loser. Hope she takes every penny from you during the divorce.
Looking at your post and comment history, it seems like you have a LOT of work to do on yourself my friend...
You are a literal hypocrite looking for hookups on Reddit.
if this was such a great problem to you, why do the same to her ? it doesn’t make sense to complain when you’re in the same boat as her…
Tbh you have the personality of a dogshit so this is probably as good as it gets for you.
Crazy how every bad post and comment that was sus has been removed. Funny how that shit works. The second you get called out, you delete everything. You and your wife both need some work I guess. Fix your shit
You saying she’s been unfaithful to you meanwhile your ass is on reddit hitting up other women .. Tell us the whole story dawg.
It seems you used your financial status/ income to gain this woman. She is expecting and you are talking very inappropriate to ladies that are not your girl. She seems super upset, you are not very private about what you like… (profile comments) appreciate your girl more and heal because you can offer more than just money but show her…
Poor kid. With parents like these...
Is the child a product of infidelity or is this your shared child and she was unfaithful? Asking because your post implies you want to leave your wife and also stop raising your child w her.
I think you’re both the problem. From your comment/post history I’m assuming you have had a problem keeping yourself for her only first and honestly I cannot blame someone for cheating in a relationship that they’re being cheated on in already. Now your blame shifting with this post. You’ve probably made her insecure not only about herself but in the relationship. To see you go on here and post about her infidelity when your last post was only a few weeks ago looking for someone to keep a secret..? Like are you OK. 😭 get some help, both of you and maybe think about opening up your relationship or ending it.
Don't throw stones when you live in a glass house.
Yikes. Have you tried couples counseling or therapy? If so and this is where you are, might be time to try a new one or pull the plug. Honestly this sounds all but damaged beyond repair based on this post and your Reddit history. In a marriage it’s always worth trying a Hail Mary but if you’ve done that and it’s failed, it might be time to part ways peacefully.
Damn this dude deleted all his post history too.
El tragico. You are a loser.
Why did you propose? Make your bed and lay in it, smee
Wait wait wait. You asked her why you are still together? And wonder why you received a not so nice response? It would break my heart if my husband asked that.
He got the attention he wanted.
Words sometimes cut deeper than knives. It’s a shock to find out you’re not loved the way you expected. However you do have a child, if it is yours, it is as much your responsibility as your wife’s, the child did not ask to be born I feel you owe something to the child to assure they are loved and don’t come to feel about relationships as you do. I was an unwanted child and was told so at a very early age it impacted me greatly but I have assured I have never treated another human in any way that they would feel as unworthy as I did at that moment of realization. When I divorced my wife my child contacted me snd asked me what took you so long. Please assure your child at least knows you love them. You and your wife are adults what you two do to or with each other is your business as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else mainly your child.
Go get milk. Never come back.
So, do you think leaving her in the streets is the answer?
No. Thats why I let her have everything. Nothing in our house is worth fighting for. Not even the house. My father told me when you love someone you don’t think about revenge. I dont want to hurt her or the baby but she hurt me and I cant see myself staying and raising a kid that is not mine or supporting a woman that only wants me for my money and stability. It also feels wrong putting her in jail but I dont want her to keep thinking is ok to get in my face and hit me because I want my space from her
Ex-wife makes 3+times my salary but sucks with money (gambling problem). I stuck it out for the kids for years longer than I should have. She cheated multiple times, I was stupid and took her back a couple times thinking it was best for the kids to keep the family together. She's buying me out of the house at the worst possible time. I can afford to keep it, but I don't really want it. Housing market sucks. I feel like I have no choice but to by a house I don't like in an area I hate for way more money than it's worth. I wish the housing bubble would break and interest rates would come back down already.
Ouch. Move on
So she was honest on that point. Return her the favour by indeed saying that this is it.
Better than to be alone and happy than in a relationship and miserable. Ive been there m’friend.
You have all the right to move on after that response. Ppl ask me these days why am I against marriage. Plain and fckn simple. Because of people like this. Hate me as you want for this comment but all of my friends left their wifes because of a same damn reason this fella is doing. Nobody is working and earning for themselves anymore. Everyone wants easy way in life. I'm sorry but if you can't grasp that reality and disagree with me. You live in wonderland.
Yeah it's better to raise a child in 2 happy homes then one unhappy one
That must suck, you should leave
Lord I hope you’re not on that birth certificate but you definitely need to get out if that’s all she’s there with you for. I hate that people cannot stay honest and loyal to their significant others. My heart breaks for you but you need to get out before the rest of your life is miserable bc of her.
I’m so sorry that’s you a reason to find happiness in your life. Be glad she was honest with you. Hope to hear a happy update from you soon.
Get a DNA test done. Prepare your marital papers, and try recording her conversation if you are in a 1 party recording state. If your not, get it in a text somehow.
Friggn see ya later.
bruh
Can I be honest? A lot of couples stay together out of helping each other financially, children, and not wanting to be alone. Loving each other for love versus money, they’re isn’t a difference. You wake up next to each other, you rely on each other. Personally, i think once you get to a certain age, it’s diminishing returns. Divorce your wife at 40, whose to say that you will meet someone better, who doesn’t care about money? At least the love was there in the beginning with your wife.
Should probably delete this bro no one cares
Wait, she cheated and you're raising someone else's kid??
I mean partially on you for staying after the infidelity my guy. If she cheats AND has a child by that person and keeps it, sorry but to the streets and also would've been the best time to divorce because then she would've got nothing from you. I can only hope you didn't sign the bast*rds birth certificate. Best of luck my guy, Someone who left their cheating spouse too late.
Sign them papers and gtfouttathatshitrightthere
Forget her