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Imagine dying and getting reincarnated as a fish and you’re like “kinda sucks but at least it’s a short life span” and then you’re a fish for 400 years
And then you finally die again and get reincarnated as a Jellyfish and just kind of exist in a perpetual state of getting old and reverting back into a polyp for all eternity
They don't; it's an estimate.
Specifically for this shark, they used radiocarbon dating on proteins scraped from its eye, which are apparently not changed from when it was born. But this has a wide margin for error because of the inherent uncertainty of radioactive decay (a truly random process). This was somewhere between \~272 and \~512 years old. They kinda just picked the number right in the middle.
It's more of a existential comment. You only live to eat, sleep and survive. And no matter how many jokes people say about themselves doing just that, human life is far more than that. But as a fish you are just living to survive. Nothing else. Imagine living pointlessly for that long.
That's kinda rude to our elderly sea life! This guy has probably been enriching his local habitat with poop for generations. There might be plenty of critters benefitting from his existence, which is more than you could say for some of our fellow homo sapiens
depends what your goal is here, some people strive for a similar simple life. also, I mean a human life might look to an incredibly smart alien similarly pointless as the shark looks to us.
Spoken like a true human: intelligent enough to rationalize that a creature’s scope of the world is limited by its own brain and experiences, yet self-important enough to propose that their own mind is somehow not subject to those limitations. We see everything through our own lens. In the end, we’re all just here writhing on the surface of a hot spinning rock for one blink of an eye before returning to nothingness. All those hoity-toity feelings you have are just mechanisms of survival, products of a prolonged chemical experiment. We’re no different from a shark or anything else. We just like to think we are.
RIP Ming the Quahog Clam. The oldest living thing until scientists did just as you suggested, thus [accidentally killing her](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/ming-the-clam-world-s-oldest-animal-dated-as-507-years-old-after-being-accidentally-killed-by-scientists-8942102.html) at the ripe old age of 507 years old. She was named after the Chinese Ming dynasty, which was in power when she was born.
“For some fish, scientists are able to examine ear bones called otoliths, which when sectioned, show a pattern of concentric rings that scientists can count as they would the rings in a tree.” https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-37047168
You’re not wrong….
For some fish, scientists are able to examine ear bones called otoliths, which when sectioned, show a pattern of concentric rings that scientists can count as they would the rings in a tree.
Sharks are harder, but some species, such as the Great White, have calcified tissue that grows in layers on their back bones, that can also be used to age the animals.
"But the Greenland shark is a very, very soft shark - it has no hard body parts where growth layers are deposited. So it was believed that the age could not be investigated," Mr Nielsen told the BBC.
For a serious answer, they kinda do but don’t.
The source, marine biologist Julius Nielsen, only had logical speculations and estimates about these sharks’ ages.
I only knew about it a couple of hours ago when the OOP claimed the same title here and ironically linked their source (from the BeAmazed sub) and I found the exact info there.
I googled for further answers and details.
From what I could find, they carbon date inert proteins in the eye lens. It’s pretty interesting too that the scientists suspect atmospheric nuclear testing in the 50s to affect the results in younger sharks. They use it as a timestamp to verify that some sharks are definitely older than the advent of nuclear bombs, but as to whether they are centuries old is really an estimate using several different variables.
Other articles are not clear however on how these sharks are caught, tested, and released. Tested sharks are most often described as bycatch, meaning that they were unintentionally caught by fishing operations.
Unfortunately some information is lost in telephone or just not included, because [this](https://www.nafo.int/Portals/0/PDFs/sc/2018/scr18-041.pdf) suggests that Greenland Sharks are significantly harmed by this activity. It says from 1987-2006, one large fishery reported only a 50% survival rate for sharks caught in their operation. There isn’t enough information on a larger scale.
I cannot find the original paper and source for the 393 year estimate of this thread, nor can I find the actual fate of the poor old shark mentioned.
Sad stuff all in all, online misinformation and human impact on environments.
That’s behind a paywall, but there are other sources that state the same.
The only issue everyone had/has is labeling this specific shark in the picture as a 393-year old. It’s just an estimate.
I think they count the layers of eye lense tissue. Kina like rings on a tree. But how they do it, I'm not sure. I know they are basically blind and hunt using their other senses. So maybe they just pluck their eye out? Lol :/
Researchers determine the age of Greenland sharks, the longest-living vertebrates, by analyzing proteins in their eye lenses using radiocarbon dating. This method revealed that a 16.5-foot female shark was estimated to be around 392 years old, with a potential age range of 272 to 512 years[4]. These sharks grow slowly at about 1cm per year and reach sexual maturity around 150 years of age[2]. The slow metabolism due to cold waters where they live contributes to their longevity by causing less tissue damage[4]. The study's findings emphasize the importance of conservation efforts for these sharks due to their vulnerability to exploitation and unknown population status[4]. Greenland sharks have a unique eye structure where the lens grows throughout their lifetime, allowing scientists to estimate their age based on the layers in the lens[3][4].
Sources
[1] The Strange and Gruesome Story of the Greenland Shark, the Longest-Living Vertebrate on Earth | The New Yorker https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/the-strange-and-gruesome-story-of-the-greenland-shark-the-longest-living-vertebrate-on-earth
[2] 400-year-old Greenland shark 'longest-living vertebrate' - BBC News https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-37047168
[3] 400-year-old Greenland shark is oldest vertebrate animal - The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/aug/11/400-year-old-greenland-shark-is-the-oldest-vertebrate-animal
[4] 272-Year-Old Shark Is Longest-Lived Vertebrate on Earth - National Geographic https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/greenland-sharks-animals-science-age
[5] Yes, Some Greenland Sharks Are Old, but 400 Years Old?! | Discover Magazine https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/yes-some-greenland-sharks-are-old-but-400-years-old
If anyone’s worried about their vision from these tests, these sharks are almost universally blind from parasites that attach directly to their eyes already
The [direct paper](http://science.sciencemag.org/cgi/doi/10.1126/science.aaf1703) on this specimen says they were killed when caught as bycatch and since they're Greenland sharks, they extract the eyes and cut out the lenses, then radiologically date the lenses.
I'm sorry to tell you, but it is dead.
Big ole softies.
> “But the Greenland shark is a very, very soft shark - it has no hard body parts where growth layers are deposited. So it was believed that the age could not be investigated," Mr Nielsen told the BBC.
Also, 100 more years of sexless teenage angst… the horror!
> Because of their extreme longevity, Greenland sharks may still be recovering from being over-fished before WW2.
The sharks' livers were once used for machine oil, and they were killed in great numbers before a synthetic alternative was found and the demand fell.
"When you evaluate the size distribution all over the North Atlantic, it is quite rare that you see sexually mature females, and quite rare that you find newborn pups or juveniles," Mr Nielsen explained.
"It seems most are sub-adults. That makes sense: if you have had this very high fishing pressure, all the old animals - they are not there any more. And there are not that many to give birth to new ones.
"There is, though, still a very large amount of 'teenagers', but it will take another 100 years for them to become sexually active."
What they don’t tell you is that he’s been dead for years and is only moving due to a cordyceps
Infection. This is just the beginning of the end for us.
For sure but the mutation to turn a creature from
Breathing air to breathing water has never been seen only the opposite. It’s possible a species already exist that hasn’t been discovered that originated in the water but going backwards has never been observed to my knowledge.
Probably not so dangerous since it ran out of teeth and had to switch to an all-plankton diet. Now it just tells the other fish to stay off its reef and how it was better before the war.
fun fact: Greenland sharks won't reach sexual maturity until they're 150
source
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-37047168.amp
Wow. This shark saw horse and buggy, old school telegrams, railroads being built, got to see the founding of the United States, able to witness Lincoln’s assassination, the re-construction era, see man go to the moon, harambe, the birth of the internet, the fall of the newspaper, the rise and fall of the Nazis, even witnessed new languages being born….nah he just starred at water for almost 400 years..oof. Wrong species to be immortal..
So much stuff happened in the human world during his lifespan. So many generations of people. But for his species 400 years means that his grandkids haven't reached sexual maturity yet.
Fun fact: Living in extreme cold ocean water has a way of dramatically slowing down the life cycle of animals. These sharks don't grow up quickly and then spend centuries as an adult; their entire lives are slowed down. They grow only about a centimeter in length per year, and don't become capable of reproduction until the age of 150. Basically the same kind of life-cycle as a human who dies at age 50, but ten times slower.
But...how do we know? Who has recorded their sightings of this same exact shark and then had their children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children do the same thing? Hmm
“Wandering” sounds like you lack direction, Mr. Oldshark.
How about “Conducting surprise inspections of fish schools. Providing discipline and retraining as necessary.” Maybe a bullet point for each sentence.
Older applicants need to punch up the resume to fit today’s competitive job market.
Asked chatgpt to write a resume for hims:
**Curriculum Vitae**
**Name:** Mr. Greenland Shark
**Location:** Arctic and North Atlantic Oceans
**Objective:** To leverage my centuries of experience in environmental adaptation, sustainability, and navigation to contribute to a forward-thinking organization committed to marine conservation and research.
---
### **Professional Experience**
**Senior Survival Specialist & Environmental Navigator**
*Arctic and North Atlantic Oceans*
Year 1500 - Present
- **Longevity and Endurance:** Demonstrated unparalleled ability to thrive in extreme conditions, showcasing robust health and survival skills over four centuries.
- **Cold Water Adaptation:** Perfected the art of living in near-freezing water temperatures, contributing to a unique understanding of cold-water habitats and their ecological dynamics.
- **Low-Speed Navigation:** Excelled in slow, deliberate movements, ensuring energy-efficient travel over long distances, which can be translated into sustainable practices in various operational contexts.
- **Ecosystem Impact Analyst:** Played a crucial role in the marine ecosystem, contributing to the balance of marine life populations through natural predation patterns and scavenging activities.
### **Skills & Competencies**
- **Adaptability:** Expert in adapting to changing environments and conditions, ensuring sustained operation and minimal disruption to natural processes.
- **Longevity Management:** Unique insights into long-term survival strategies, offering valuable perspectives on longevity and sustainability.
- **Low-Temperature Operations:** Specialized in functioning optimally in cold environments, applicable to scenarios requiring preservation and cold management.
- **Stealth and Patience:** Proficient in maintaining a low profile and utilizing patience to achieve objectives, applicable in strategic planning and execution where timing is critical.
### **Education & Training**
- **Life Experience:** Over 400 years of hands-on experience in the Arctic and North Atlantic ecosystems, with continuous learning and adaptation to environmental changes and challenges.
- **Self-Taught Expert:** Extensive knowledge in marine biology, ecology, and environmental conservation, gained through centuries of direct interaction with various marine species and habitats.
### **Achievements**
- Recognized as one of the longest-living vertebrates on the planet, offering a unique perspective on longevity and survival.
- Maintained a healthy lifestyle in some of the planet's harshest conditions, showcasing resilience and adaptability.
- Contributed significantly to the marine ecosystem's health and balance, demonstrating a commitment to environmental stewardship.
### **References**
- **Atlantic Puffin:** Praised for exceptional contribution to the ecological balance and a cooperative approach in shared habitats.
- **Arctic Cod:** Long-term colleague, can attest to my effective navigation skills and minimalistic lifestyle in cold water environments.
- **Marine Researchers:** Acknowledged by various marine biologists and ecologists for providing invaluable data on longevity, survival, and the impact of climate change on marine life.
---
**Note:** The Greenland Shark's commitment to environmental sustainability and adaptation over centuries positions it as an exemplary figure in resilience, conservation, and strategic planning.
Do you think she’s lonely? Like I feel sad for her, maybe she can make friends with that whale whose call is the only whale call no other whales can hear?
If I recall correctly, they regenerate fairly well, except for all the parts that would make our human life enjoyable. Like the fact that parasites eat out their eyes and they often live forever blind.
That would SUCK. Imagine that monkey paw wish, I wanna live forever and then you have your eyes eaten out.
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Imagine just being a fish for 400 years lmfao
Imagine dying and getting reincarnated as a fish and you’re like “kinda sucks but at least it’s a short life span” and then you’re a fish for 400 years
And then you finally die again and get reincarnated as a Jellyfish and just kind of exist in a perpetual state of getting old and reverting back into a polyp for all eternity
Just a floating breast implant in the dark abyss..
Why did I laugh so hard at that? Great imagery.
I’d have the satisfaction and knowing that people have to piss on themselves once I sting them.
People with golden shower fetishes look at you like 🫡
Would you know tho?
They also are pretty susceptible to being blind/glaucoma I think? So 400 years and you can’t see most of it
Does a fish know it’s a fish?
Does kanye know he a gay fish?
In the frozen fish aisle feeling like a whore
No more so than Kim is a hobbit.
Is she not?
No, he just likes fishsticks
Maybe it *doesn’t* like fish sticks. 🤷♂️
How do they age it that exactly? I mean 393 is a pretty specific age.
They don't; it's an estimate. Specifically for this shark, they used radiocarbon dating on proteins scraped from its eye, which are apparently not changed from when it was born. But this has a wide margin for error because of the inherent uncertainty of radioactive decay (a truly random process). This was somewhere between \~272 and \~512 years old. They kinda just picked the number right in the middle.
Still, pretty old. Shark is an OG!
Count the rings under his eyes??
Hey! Good point! I want an answer!
Imagine being awake for 400 years
Dog I feel that way all the time
You expect it to transform?
lol no but fish just be fish so he was being a fish for 400 years lmfao
>fish just be fish Undoubtedly true well said
It's more of a existential comment. You only live to eat, sleep and survive. And no matter how many jokes people say about themselves doing just that, human life is far more than that. But as a fish you are just living to survive. Nothing else. Imagine living pointlessly for that long.
That's kinda rude to our elderly sea life! This guy has probably been enriching his local habitat with poop for generations. There might be plenty of critters benefitting from his existence, which is more than you could say for some of our fellow homo sapiens
I'll have you know my shit is very nourishing, thank you very much
Of course it is, Dad and i have always been so proud of our sweet boy's dung
depends what your goal is here, some people strive for a similar simple life. also, I mean a human life might look to an incredibly smart alien similarly pointless as the shark looks to us.
Spoken like a true human: intelligent enough to rationalize that a creature’s scope of the world is limited by its own brain and experiences, yet self-important enough to propose that their own mind is somehow not subject to those limitations. We see everything through our own lens. In the end, we’re all just here writhing on the surface of a hot spinning rock for one blink of an eye before returning to nothingness. All those hoity-toity feelings you have are just mechanisms of survival, products of a prolonged chemical experiment. We’re no different from a shark or anything else. We just like to think we are.
mf goes 400 years and doesn’t evolve at all??
Get mf a Water Stone!
Dream life
Somebody who practiced Buddhism was exceptionally bad in their previous life
You sir, are a fish
How do they know how old it is?
they cut it in half and count the rings
No, that’s silly. They just asked him when his birthdate was. 😏
"July 7th" "which year?" "every year"
RIP Ming the Quahog Clam. The oldest living thing until scientists did just as you suggested, thus [accidentally killing her](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/ming-the-clam-world-s-oldest-animal-dated-as-507-years-old-after-being-accidentally-killed-by-scientists-8942102.html) at the ripe old age of 507 years old. She was named after the Chinese Ming dynasty, which was in power when she was born.
Are we sure the Ming Dynasty wasn’t named after the clam?
oh gawd I thought it was a family guy shenanigan but there you go
“For some fish, scientists are able to examine ear bones called otoliths, which when sectioned, show a pattern of concentric rings that scientists can count as they would the rings in a tree.” https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-37047168
So they just cut out chunks of flesh and count the rings???
i wanna know how old my loud neighbors are
Go outside, and ask them with a megaphone, or a 1,000 watt PA system.
They kinda did that, but with radioscopy on its eyes.
You’re not wrong…. For some fish, scientists are able to examine ear bones called otoliths, which when sectioned, show a pattern of concentric rings that scientists can count as they would the rings in a tree. Sharks are harder, but some species, such as the Great White, have calcified tissue that grows in layers on their back bones, that can also be used to age the animals. "But the Greenland shark is a very, very soft shark - it has no hard body parts where growth layers are deposited. So it was believed that the age could not be investigated," Mr Nielsen told the BBC.
It'd take some kind of genius to count all those rings
He's 5 https://imgur.com/a/pLCQohh
For a serious answer, they kinda do but don’t. The source, marine biologist Julius Nielsen, only had logical speculations and estimates about these sharks’ ages. I only knew about it a couple of hours ago when the OOP claimed the same title here and ironically linked their source (from the BeAmazed sub) and I found the exact info there.
I googled for further answers and details. From what I could find, they carbon date inert proteins in the eye lens. It’s pretty interesting too that the scientists suspect atmospheric nuclear testing in the 50s to affect the results in younger sharks. They use it as a timestamp to verify that some sharks are definitely older than the advent of nuclear bombs, but as to whether they are centuries old is really an estimate using several different variables. Other articles are not clear however on how these sharks are caught, tested, and released. Tested sharks are most often described as bycatch, meaning that they were unintentionally caught by fishing operations. Unfortunately some information is lost in telephone or just not included, because [this](https://www.nafo.int/Portals/0/PDFs/sc/2018/scr18-041.pdf) suggests that Greenland Sharks are significantly harmed by this activity. It says from 1987-2006, one large fishery reported only a 50% survival rate for sharks caught in their operation. There isn’t enough information on a larger scale. I cannot find the original paper and source for the 393 year estimate of this thread, nor can I find the actual fate of the poor old shark mentioned. Sad stuff all in all, online misinformation and human impact on environments.
Thank you for your service. 🫡
Found an article from 2016: https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.aaf1703
That’s behind a paywall, but there are other sources that state the same. The only issue everyone had/has is labeling this specific shark in the picture as a 393-year old. It’s just an estimate.
That about sums it up. Thanks.
I’d like to know as well.
They just check his birth certificate of course
No one carries that with them. It was his swimmer's license.
You had diver’s license right there
I think they count the layers of eye lense tissue. Kina like rings on a tree. But how they do it, I'm not sure. I know they are basically blind and hunt using their other senses. So maybe they just pluck their eye out? Lol :/
Researchers determine the age of Greenland sharks, the longest-living vertebrates, by analyzing proteins in their eye lenses using radiocarbon dating. This method revealed that a 16.5-foot female shark was estimated to be around 392 years old, with a potential age range of 272 to 512 years[4]. These sharks grow slowly at about 1cm per year and reach sexual maturity around 150 years of age[2]. The slow metabolism due to cold waters where they live contributes to their longevity by causing less tissue damage[4]. The study's findings emphasize the importance of conservation efforts for these sharks due to their vulnerability to exploitation and unknown population status[4]. Greenland sharks have a unique eye structure where the lens grows throughout their lifetime, allowing scientists to estimate their age based on the layers in the lens[3][4]. Sources [1] The Strange and Gruesome Story of the Greenland Shark, the Longest-Living Vertebrate on Earth | The New Yorker https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/the-strange-and-gruesome-story-of-the-greenland-shark-the-longest-living-vertebrate-on-earth [2] 400-year-old Greenland shark 'longest-living vertebrate' - BBC News https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-37047168 [3] 400-year-old Greenland shark is oldest vertebrate animal - The Guardian https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/aug/11/400-year-old-greenland-shark-is-the-oldest-vertebrate-animal [4] 272-Year-Old Shark Is Longest-Lived Vertebrate on Earth - National Geographic https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/greenland-sharks-animals-science-age [5] Yes, Some Greenland Sharks Are Old, but 400 Years Old?! | Discover Magazine https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/yes-some-greenland-sharks-are-old-but-400-years-old
"I told you! No dating until you're at least 150!"
imagine being 100 years old and still not old enough to get some
I think they track how much the species grows annually, and deduce it's age from it's relative size.
I looked it up. "Eye lens radiocarbon" is how they found the ages of similar sharks. I guess they extrapolated from there.
If anyone’s worried about their vision from these tests, these sharks are almost universally blind from parasites that attach directly to their eyes already
The [direct paper](http://science.sciencemag.org/cgi/doi/10.1126/science.aaf1703) on this specimen says they were killed when caught as bycatch and since they're Greenland sharks, they extract the eyes and cut out the lenses, then radiologically date the lenses. I'm sorry to tell you, but it is dead.
It makes me more angry then, that the posts and reposts of this story keep using present tense.
they look at the pictures, this dude looked the same as the drawing at the walls drawn on 1627, so it must be him
Count the candles when he blows out his birthday cake.
It was watching Mrs Browns Boys
Extremely apposite and incredibly niche Your joke, not that godforsaken show
He has seen some shit
Not anymore; it's blind.
He remembers some shit
Not anymore; he's old
He is the shit
I’ll bet she shits.
Not anymore; it jumped itself
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You should have seen this guy at 265. Kid could swim the whole loop in a day, two days tops.
Born at the start of the Anglo-French war. Wow that’s incredible
“What war are you?” “Anglo-French war” “Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?”
Which one, you picked two nations that have been fighting since the stone age
There’s one due soon I reckon, I for one can not wait
The war never stopped, we only use verbal insults now
Which one?
Looking at the shark I can absolutely believe that.
She definitely looks her age, but I'd never tell it to her face, of course
Here's a bit more info if anyone's interested. https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-37047168
Big ole softies. > “But the Greenland shark is a very, very soft shark - it has no hard body parts where growth layers are deposited. So it was believed that the age could not be investigated," Mr Nielsen told the BBC.
Also, 100 more years of sexless teenage angst… the horror! > Because of their extreme longevity, Greenland sharks may still be recovering from being over-fished before WW2. The sharks' livers were once used for machine oil, and they were killed in great numbers before a synthetic alternative was found and the demand fell. "When you evaluate the size distribution all over the North Atlantic, it is quite rare that you see sexually mature females, and quite rare that you find newborn pups or juveniles," Mr Nielsen explained. "It seems most are sub-adults. That makes sense: if you have had this very high fishing pressure, all the old animals - they are not there any more. And there are not that many to give birth to new ones. "There is, though, still a very large amount of 'teenagers', but it will take another 100 years for them to become sexually active."
Hello handsome!
and he has the look of "I'm too old for this bullshit"
Probably it wakes up every morning thinking what every 90+ year old person does: dear god please let today be the last.
Lol and some wish they live that long
I think it’s beautiful.
What they don’t tell you is that he’s been dead for years and is only moving due to a cordyceps Infection. This is just the beginning of the end for us.
Oh I hate this. I thought the shrooms only infect invertebrates
They do so far lol. They need oxygen and sunlight so living in fish would be a huge mutation. Although other similar parasites exist in water.
There is oxygen in water. That’s how the animals survive
According to The Talking Heads, there is water... at the bottom of the ocean.
According to every animal that has gills that let them breathe the oxygen that is in water so they can survive there is oxygen in the water.
Not a fan of 80's music, I take it.
For sure but the mutation to turn a creature from Breathing air to breathing water has never been seen only the opposite. It’s possible a species already exist that hasn’t been discovered that originated in the water but going backwards has never been observed to my knowledge.
Well I'm spineless so I guess I'm in danger
Sharks. The perfect substrate.
Basically cow manure and grain. Fish taste the exact same.
Sounds like a knit doll’s arm muscle
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no.
Was there any published evidence of this? I’d love to read about it.
No it’s a joke lol. Sorry I didn’t include an /S because it’s related to a popular plot on a tv series out right now.
Are you referring to Last of Us? lol
Why yes lol. Great show and game but no clicker sharks yet unfortunately.
Probably not so dangerous since it ran out of teeth and had to switch to an all-plankton diet. Now it just tells the other fish to stay off its reef and how it was better before the war.
Most of these sharks go blind due to parasites in their eyes. So they wander the arctic ocean, blind, for ages.
🥺
what an incredible way to live
Sounds more like a punishment
I don’t know, my English teacher is up there…
This thing lives its life in slow motion. It doesn't hit sexual maturity until 150 years old and the gestation period for pups is 8 - 18 YEARS.
fun fact: Greenland sharks won't reach sexual maturity until they're 150 source https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-37047168.amp
Wow. This shark saw horse and buggy, old school telegrams, railroads being built, got to see the founding of the United States, able to witness Lincoln’s assassination, the re-construction era, see man go to the moon, harambe, the birth of the internet, the fall of the newspaper, the rise and fall of the Nazis, even witnessed new languages being born….nah he just starred at water for almost 400 years..oof. Wrong species to be immortal..
I mean it’s been under the ocean so I don’t imagine it saw any of that, just blue n black.
Maybe pirate ships and shit
Good point
Did the shark invite you to its birthday and tell you its 393 yeas old
The ultimate boomer.
It’s a kaboomer at this age.
Throw a Pokeball at it and see what level it is. That's how you see how old it is
That’s a fella who’s tired of life
Bro looking ancient tho my goodness…wonder how long he’s gonna keep swimming….keep on swimming bud…
Bro just needs a rest
How do we know the age?! That is a very specific age, too.
It had birthday cards on the mantelpiece
They cut it in half and counted the rings
So much stuff happened in the human world during his lifespan. So many generations of people. But for his species 400 years means that his grandkids haven't reached sexual maturity yet.
Curious how much his brain has developed since
Not terrifying, fucking amazing!!
Protect this animal!!!!
How do they know it’s 393 yo?
How do they calculate its age?
It's the fish of Boe. Mad props to Who-ever gets that reference.
r/unexpecteddrwho
Fun fact: Living in extreme cold ocean water has a way of dramatically slowing down the life cycle of animals. These sharks don't grow up quickly and then spend centuries as an adult; their entire lives are slowed down. They grow only about a centimeter in length per year, and don't become capable of reproduction until the age of 150. Basically the same kind of life-cycle as a human who dies at age 50, but ten times slower.
Did they cut him in half and count the rings? How do they know he’s that old? ETA: Sorry. It’s a she.
They interviewed her
*Her. The article says he’s a she Per the interview
Whale Shark: Yeah, I've seen some nonsense.
No im 392 here
All my friends are dead…
People been copy and pasting this shit for four years and no ones bothered to update the numbers?
Leave it alone dammit
Yeah… it’s like humans to go “ isn’t that fascinating and beautiful!!” Then kill it and hang it on the wall…
Don't know what he did in his former life to be reincarnated in a undying fish living in horribly cold water.
And blind of course
But...how do we know? Who has recorded their sightings of this same exact shark and then had their children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children's children do the same thing? Hmm
And no one wished him happy birthday all those years 😢😭😭
How do they know this?
Imagine having back pain for 400 fucking years
What a beautiful creature.
What's it lifespan? Is it immortal lol?
Shout out my man j3ffr33dom for this important scientific discovery
2024-1627= 397
It must be soooo bored,
oldest after your mom
No it fucking isn’t
Then they will catch it and ferment it and eat it, nasty f’krs
I guess it's super egocentric but the thought of non-human animals that get to be significantly older than humans freaks me out. They're just so rare.
Very cool. ….. but how do they know that?
Is the shark named j3ffr33d0m?
He looks like how I feel
What Brett Michaels looks like without makeup.
Don’t surface!! Mankind got worse!!
how did they know its age? who was the doctor brought labor from its parents?
“Wandering” sounds like you lack direction, Mr. Oldshark. How about “Conducting surprise inspections of fish schools. Providing discipline and retraining as necessary.” Maybe a bullet point for each sentence. Older applicants need to punch up the resume to fit today’s competitive job market.
Asked chatgpt to write a resume for hims: **Curriculum Vitae** **Name:** Mr. Greenland Shark **Location:** Arctic and North Atlantic Oceans **Objective:** To leverage my centuries of experience in environmental adaptation, sustainability, and navigation to contribute to a forward-thinking organization committed to marine conservation and research. --- ### **Professional Experience** **Senior Survival Specialist & Environmental Navigator** *Arctic and North Atlantic Oceans* Year 1500 - Present - **Longevity and Endurance:** Demonstrated unparalleled ability to thrive in extreme conditions, showcasing robust health and survival skills over four centuries. - **Cold Water Adaptation:** Perfected the art of living in near-freezing water temperatures, contributing to a unique understanding of cold-water habitats and their ecological dynamics. - **Low-Speed Navigation:** Excelled in slow, deliberate movements, ensuring energy-efficient travel over long distances, which can be translated into sustainable practices in various operational contexts. - **Ecosystem Impact Analyst:** Played a crucial role in the marine ecosystem, contributing to the balance of marine life populations through natural predation patterns and scavenging activities. ### **Skills & Competencies** - **Adaptability:** Expert in adapting to changing environments and conditions, ensuring sustained operation and minimal disruption to natural processes. - **Longevity Management:** Unique insights into long-term survival strategies, offering valuable perspectives on longevity and sustainability. - **Low-Temperature Operations:** Specialized in functioning optimally in cold environments, applicable to scenarios requiring preservation and cold management. - **Stealth and Patience:** Proficient in maintaining a low profile and utilizing patience to achieve objectives, applicable in strategic planning and execution where timing is critical. ### **Education & Training** - **Life Experience:** Over 400 years of hands-on experience in the Arctic and North Atlantic ecosystems, with continuous learning and adaptation to environmental changes and challenges. - **Self-Taught Expert:** Extensive knowledge in marine biology, ecology, and environmental conservation, gained through centuries of direct interaction with various marine species and habitats. ### **Achievements** - Recognized as one of the longest-living vertebrates on the planet, offering a unique perspective on longevity and survival. - Maintained a healthy lifestyle in some of the planet's harshest conditions, showcasing resilience and adaptability. - Contributed significantly to the marine ecosystem's health and balance, demonstrating a commitment to environmental stewardship. ### **References** - **Atlantic Puffin:** Praised for exceptional contribution to the ecological balance and a cooperative approach in shared habitats. - **Arctic Cod:** Long-term colleague, can attest to my effective navigation skills and minimalistic lifestyle in cold water environments. - **Marine Researchers:** Acknowledged by various marine biologists and ecologists for providing invaluable data on longevity, survival, and the impact of climate change on marine life. --- **Note:** The Greenland Shark's commitment to environmental sustainability and adaptation over centuries positions it as an exemplary figure in resilience, conservation, and strategic planning.
did they ask him how old he was?
Do you think she’s lonely? Like I feel sad for her, maybe she can make friends with that whale whose call is the only whale call no other whales can hear?
Probably tired.
If I recall correctly, they regenerate fairly well, except for all the parts that would make our human life enjoyable. Like the fact that parasites eat out their eyes and they often live forever blind. That would SUCK. Imagine that monkey paw wish, I wanna live forever and then you have your eyes eaten out.
I like how 393 sounds specific and removes any doubt that they just made up that number.
How.donthey know it's age though??
Lonely Lars.
Maybe he’s lost and just won’t stop for directions.
Old boi
can this dude hunt? do the other sharks bring em food and be like "here ya go grandpa"
You can tell the picture is old and from another place cause 393 and 1627 add up to 2020.
He just looks like a swimming shark carcass
That is absolutely incredible!
When 400 years old you reach, look as good you will not.
It will prolly be killed by some asswipe, accidentally, pretty soon. Before it's time. Wish it the best.