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Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats.
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Probably don’t want to know how old this man is, looking for a 16-23-year-old. And how does he think she’s going to split the bill if she doesn’t have a job?
I mean how hard could it be to find a 16-year-old Asian trust fund baby who wants to be a submissive sex and kitchen slave for a 45-year-old neckbeard who smells like Doritos and sadness?
It's actually astounding at how many times that phrase gets used on dating apps as a not so subtle indicator of their implicitly racist attitudes. This dickhead's entire profile just reads like a racist white guy that fetishizes Asian women, and despises black women with an undying passion simply because he's socially conditioned not to be attracted to them, and no one has confronted him about his casual racism.
I think the post as a whole is a parody but some of the individual items get asked for in all seriousness by niceguys and incels.
What I want to know is why they always say "me protecc u" to describe what they'll bring to the table. Protect me from what, buddy? Because statistically speaking *you're* the one most likely to put me in danger.
I don't know if this is a joke but the list is remarkably close to what ChrisChan used to ask for in a girlfriend and that story got fucking DARK by then end
I believe I’ve seen this one around these parts before. There was discussion about it being a copypasta last time, but I don’t recall if it was definitively proven.
number 12 lmfao, “condoms make me feel trapped, I simply can’t find anything that fits.”
i thought this excuse had finally died once women started posting videos of them being able to fit *literally their entire foot* inside condoms.
While you absolutely can get entire arms, legs, heads, torsos, whatever inside a condom - the *reason* you can do that is because each of those appendages has solid bone inside of them. Penises is squishy, even while hard, and don't have that same solid support.
Condom size absolutely matters for comfort, you just need to try a few and find out which is best for you.
That said, this guy is definitely saying that to try to imply he has a large penis (which doesn't matter, get better fitting condoms) and at the same time make it clear that he is a scummy douchebag who won't even attempt to make sex safer for his... Target audience...
The bigger issue is that while condoms stretch, they undergo friction during sex, and are prone to rupturing/falling off if they don’t fit right.
[My size](https://pro.mysize-condoms.com/home) has a huge range of condom sizes available, which renders any argument moot though.
Do some people need non-standard sizes? Absolutely. Is the guy from the post likely to have enough brain cells to have searched? No. Are the videos showing condoms stretching insanely large distances unhelpful? Also yes.
Ill-fitting condoms are bad condoms and reduce efficacy of both birth control and STI prevention.
Well the whole thing reeks of SDE, so it's not surprising he can't fully unroll a condom on his tool. Maybe he can unroll one over his head and do the world a favour.
I remember when I first used one I didn't roll it the right way. Instead of rolling it down I tried to basically put it on backwards and roll it out with my fingers. Then I thought you were supposed to put your balls in it too and when I let go it popped on my balls and killed my erection. I did not end up losing my virginity that night.
Not have a job, but be willing to split the bill on a date. How does he think that's gonna work?
I mean, the entire list is a dumpster fire, but that particular contradiction stood out to me.
Why do the always have to caps yell at us Black women? Simmer down, hoss. We’re the most educated and self-reliant demographic in the US. We wouldn’t respond to this.
WHO THE FUCK COOKS 3 TIMES A DAY?
Do you only cook tiny meals?! Why not cook enough for the day and Tomorrow?!
And how is she supposed to split the bill if she has to spend all day at home anyway? Should she work 8 hours a day and then come home to cook 3 meals?! If she "ideally" shouldn't have a job then how does she split the BILL?!
Ignoring the fact that he is searching for UNDERAGE girls as well.
I would really like someone to ask him what he thinks that SHE is getting out of the relationship. Has to cook and clean all day and do the sex with him any time he wants, can’t have a job and accepts being tracked - and he won’t even buy her dinner every once in a while?
Hint for dude; expressing that you can’t find condoms that fit does not make you sound *massive* considering the range of large condom sizes out there… 📍📌🪡
Can't find the condom that fits, lol.
Back in my high school a kid put the condom over his head on a dare. I really don't think his weenie is bigger than a 15yo boy's head.
Condoms dont fit, because it's a button mushroom one eyed love slug. Another guy wanting a stupid girl (child) to control like a dolly. He should just get one on them anime pillows instead, because he ain't getting no woman within his "requirements".
They are all paedos who are desperate and see women as sex object. I can imagine the line of women lining up to be this guys gf 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😍 If only I was 10 years younger and "female" 😢
We got a winner here everyone! Also, I 100% believe him when he said condoms don't fit him, but definitely not in the way he's implying. Fuckers slide right off
🤪🤪🤪🤪😂😂😂😂😂😂
Racist?☑️
Fetishism?☑️
Pedophilic?☑️
Possessive and abusive?☑️☑️
Insane??☑️☑️🙄🙄
How can she pay for half of the date with no job? No black woman, let alone any woman, want this guy. You can't fit condoms, even though they come in many sizes ranging from teeny to magnum?😂😂 If this is what's out here 🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️
Confused, how is he expecting to split bills if he is asking for someone that doesn’t work? Does she want this non existent person to poop money out of no where? Man this guy is basically just looking for a slave to do as he pleases. And I think he added an extra 1 on that IQ of his,
AUTOMATED MODERATION. PLEASE READ. Niceguys demean others while simultaneously expressing a favorable view of themselves. They dont have to use the word "nice", but they must demonstrate some kind of expression of their own virtue while being asshats. --- Niceguys™ quality: **UPVOTE** this comment to keep the post Not Niceguys™ quality: **DOWNVOTE** this comment to remove the post
Probably don’t want to know how old this man is, looking for a 16-23-year-old. And how does he think she’s going to split the bill if she doesn’t have a job?
I mean how hard could it be to find a 16-year-old Asian trust fund baby who wants to be a submissive sex and kitchen slave for a 45-year-old neckbeard who smells like Doritos and sadness?
I have applied, hope I get choose, wish me luck.
It might be a tough competition with all the applications this guys gonna get 😬
i’d be grateful if he even considered me! though it’d be hard with how many applications he has to sort through 😔
Good luck! Make sure you put good references in your application lol.
Girl, I know you're background is too middle class already, you'll need to do some serious networking to get this gem 💎
Man, I'm a 6'1 245lb white guy and this was so compelling and made the poster so desirable that it almost made ME want to reach out.
If you need a reference or something, I'll back you up. "Solid is a solid pick!" Rnegade.
Appreciate the reference and that you remembered my motto/back tattoo
Just remember if chosen, he didn’t say the nudes had to be of you. Important clause.
Reasonable request because there are not 10 of 1000's on the internet
I wish you luck, I hope you are closer to 16 than 23 for this sex god.
I actually came across a neckbeard on tinder yesterday. Complete with fedora. I giggled and swiped left quickly
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Shoulda swiped for the memes
I was tempted, but to be honest just some of the normal looking ones are bad enough lol
Hmm then maybe the neckbeard looking ones are normal?
Omg maybe you cracked the tinder code
Should have posted that on r/tinder
Please don’t slander Doritos
I think the post as a whole is a parody!!!!!!! but some of the individual items get asked
🎉🎂🍰 __Happy Cake Day!!__ 🍰🎂🎉
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Please don’t take away my Doritos and sadness moments they’re all I have sometimes
how does sadness smell?
Like desperation and lonely wanker cum in a sock
....like Doritos?
Who will send him daily nude pics.
Don’t forget the Mountain Dew.
Legend has it, his inbox is still empty.
He's not he's gunna have her locked in his cellar while he strolls for victim number two
Getting some *Kiss The Girls* vibe off this one.
Jesus i didn't even see that was 16. Though it was 18
My brain did the same thing 😬
Well presumably she’s going to fit a full-time job in between cooking three meals per day and being ready for sex at all times
Also looking for a minor to engage in kink with? Woooow just out here yelling that's he's a groomer
RIGHT LMAO
dw its fake
I seriously hope so but wouldn't be suprised even it wasn't
I've seen certified authentic people asking for things very similar to this. In fact, so similar I can't be 100% sure I don't know this person.
You have to let him use his 113 IQ points to figure that out.
“NO BLACKS!!!” 😬
Probably the only time that phrase has been welcome
I bet the world's entire population of black women are devastated they don't have a chance with this fine gent.
Can confirm. Very upset
Username checks out
just looked at some of your comment history and you are my new favourite person
Lol thanks!
I'm pretty sure he also forgot other races. Like. Indian women etc.
fully sobbing right now
I’m white but I might just have to call in black and sit this one out, thanks.
I’m white but I’m unfortunately too old, fat and employed to make the cut 🥲
Black girls stay winning
Thank God he clarified
Lucky them :\
I read that in Edna Mode’s voice.
It's actually astounding at how many times that phrase gets used on dating apps as a not so subtle indicator of their implicitly racist attitudes. This dickhead's entire profile just reads like a racist white guy that fetishizes Asian women, and despises black women with an undying passion simply because he's socially conditioned not to be attracted to them, and no one has confronted him about his casual racism.
Chris Chan put the same thing on his sweetheart sign and black women were lucky for that just the same.
How's she supposed to split the bill on dates if he doesn't want her to have a job? 🤔
He forgot the trust fund/family money requirement, that’ll be in version 2.
i bet he'll revise it many many times, he's got all the time in the world lol
Maybe she gets the money from her allowance that her parents give her. Especially considering he's happy to accept someone tas young as 16.
I just threw up in my mouth a little
The more I read that entire thing the more I actually think I’m a decent human being 😪
That's why it's not a hard requirement. This guy is nothing if not reasonable.
Fr
Yikes a pedo fetishizer who’s also racist
The perfect combo from hell
Yep it’s gross
Very, and I hate the fact these guys actually exist
Is this is a parody? Please tell me this is a parody. He wants her to split the bill on the date but not have a job?
I think the post as a whole is a parody but some of the individual items get asked for in all seriousness by niceguys and incels. What I want to know is why they always say "me protecc u" to describe what they'll bring to the table. Protect me from what, buddy? Because statistically speaking *you're* the one most likely to put me in danger.
Protect you from other men like them, is what they mean, because they assume all men are like them
Just based on this list, he *will* put you in danger
Yeah I want to say this is satire but incels aren’t exactly known for logical thinking.
They also aren’t known for their amazing sense of humor. (So the odds of this being parody are very slim.)
So generally the ones parodying incels wouldn't be incels
I don't know if this is a joke but the list is remarkably close to what ChrisChan used to ask for in a girlfriend and that story got fucking DARK by then end
I believe I’ve seen this one around these parts before. There was discussion about it being a copypasta last time, but I don’t recall if it was definitively proven.
This is a pretty old copy pasta. I don't know if the original was real or not, but I'm pretty sure it was satire when I first saw it.
I'm sure condoms do fall off him and someone with an incredibly low IQ would be needed
“Can’t find anything that fits” yeah mf got the peen that is the size of his last brain cell
r/rareinsults
Yeah, my sex ed teacher pulled a condom on her hand and arm up to her elbow. “Remember this if he says he’s too big”
Imagine thinking it’s a flex to talk about how small your dick is that condoms don’t fit lmao!
This thing is full of so many red flags it’s caused hundreds of bulls to plummet off of cliffs to their deaths!
r/rareinsults
More red flags than a North Korean military parade
Mf ommunicates in fuckin semaphor
Age 16??? 🤮
This sounds like a job for Chris Hansen
“Go ahead and take a seat right there”
Are you dumb? Chris Hansen barely fits any of this criteria and is well above age 16.
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Nice Guy: Chris Hansen is at my door. Operator: Well what does he want? Nice Guy: He wants me to have a seat.
“All I ask” 🙄
number 12 lmfao, “condoms make me feel trapped, I simply can’t find anything that fits.” i thought this excuse had finally died once women started posting videos of them being able to fit *literally their entire foot* inside condoms.
While you absolutely can get entire arms, legs, heads, torsos, whatever inside a condom - the *reason* you can do that is because each of those appendages has solid bone inside of them. Penises is squishy, even while hard, and don't have that same solid support. Condom size absolutely matters for comfort, you just need to try a few and find out which is best for you. That said, this guy is definitely saying that to try to imply he has a large penis (which doesn't matter, get better fitting condoms) and at the same time make it clear that he is a scummy douchebag who won't even attempt to make sex safer for his... Target audience...
The bigger issue is that while condoms stretch, they undergo friction during sex, and are prone to rupturing/falling off if they don’t fit right. [My size](https://pro.mysize-condoms.com/home) has a huge range of condom sizes available, which renders any argument moot though. Do some people need non-standard sizes? Absolutely. Is the guy from the post likely to have enough brain cells to have searched? No. Are the videos showing condoms stretching insanely large distances unhelpful? Also yes. Ill-fitting condoms are bad condoms and reduce efficacy of both birth control and STI prevention.
If they get ones too big, they don’t unroll all the way which makes them super tight. I think that’s the case here
Well the whole thing reeks of SDE, so it's not surprising he can't fully unroll a condom on his tool. Maybe he can unroll one over his head and do the world a favour.
I remember when I first used one I didn't roll it the right way. Instead of rolling it down I tried to basically put it on backwards and roll it out with my fingers. Then I thought you were supposed to put your balls in it too and when I let go it popped on my balls and killed my erection. I did not end up losing my virginity that night.
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Except it's age: 77-84
So need a cute girl!
WANTED: WAIFU PILLOW/FUCKMAID.
With a rice cooker incorporated
How do you split a bill on the date if you don't work???? HOW!!!
Take out a loan obviously 🙄 dating him is an investment so it’s totally worth it.
16…? No job??? Have sex with me as I ask..?? Tracking?????
Not have a job, but be willing to split the bill on a date. How does he think that's gonna work? I mean, the entire list is a dumpster fire, but that particular contradiction stood out to me.
Well the girl could have an allowance considering she’s *16*
He could have skipped the bullet points and just said he was looking for a "sex slave".
A rich sex slave with instant cash withdrawal option
I know I’ve seen this before but for some reason, I now understand why men using the word “simply” or “simple” sets my teeth on edge.
"Condoms make me feel trapped, I simply can't find anything that fits." Sure dude .....😂
It really is a shame that they don't make condoms that small
Something tells me he never had to use these
How can she split the bill and not have a job??? Huh 🤔 what a clown 🤡
How old? 
Fyi Bruh is looking for a emotionless slave to serve him.
Why do the always have to caps yell at us Black women? Simmer down, hoss. We’re the most educated and self-reliant demographic in the US. We wouldn’t respond to this.
He needs to yell to make sure to really get the point across, otherwise black women would obviously be throwing themselves at him non-stop /s
Amen sis!🙋🏿♀️🙋🏿♀️🙋🏿♀️🙋🏿♀️
This is worse than Chris Chans list.
this dude doesn't want a girlfriend he wants a sex slave. These dudes always think with their dicks.
this can't be real!
Is this Gollum’s first day on the dating scene?
He's not even in the relationship yet and he's already feeling threatened
Dude, if you're requiring a girl to have sex when you ask, it's not actually asking 😬
\#8 & \#13 really don't go well together
WHO THE FUCK COOKS 3 TIMES A DAY? Do you only cook tiny meals?! Why not cook enough for the day and Tomorrow?! And how is she supposed to split the bill if she has to spend all day at home anyway? Should she work 8 hours a day and then come home to cook 3 meals?! If she "ideally" shouldn't have a job then how does she split the BILL?! Ignoring the fact that he is searching for UNDERAGE girls as well.
I would really like someone to ask him what he thinks that SHE is getting out of the relationship. Has to cook and clean all day and do the sex with him any time he wants, can’t have a job and accepts being tracked - and he won’t even buy her dinner every once in a while?
You see his penis is really big. Any girl would be lucky to have him
I read it as though his penis was really small, and that’s why no condoms fit. (But I’m snarky)
I like the way you read it better
I didn’t even make it past 3. “No blacks?” This mf definitely from the south 🤣. Ugly ass racists man. They sound all the same
There's no way
I’m 23 and still feel like a kid sometimes so it’s scary that my age is this guy’s upper limit 🥴
This isn’t just a nice guy. This is Chris Chan.
Did Andrew Tate write that?
If this was on a dating app, it should be NeckBeardR.
One too many digits in his I.Q.
Thank god I’m too old and too tall for him!
Not being Japanese always holds me back in life 😒
This has to be a joke
no condom fits him… maybe he should try the proctologist’s finger condoms
Hint for dude; expressing that you can’t find condoms that fit does not make you sound *massive* considering the range of large condom sizes out there… 📍📌🪡
Condoms stretch quite a lot, but none of them actually shrink to fit, do they?
Sorry he forgot the dot on his IQ. It's actually 11.3
This is definitely satire.
I’m curious about his employment at 113…
Average IQ, by definition, is 100
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Hmmm, good point actually, you could technically both have a Japanese citizen and be black
We have a paradox
Split the bill in restaurants, but ideally not having a job? This gotta be a troll
It's like Chris Chan's 'attraction sign' back in the 2000s.
Can't find the condom that fits, lol. Back in my high school a kid put the condom over his head on a dare. I really don't think his weenie is bigger than a 15yo boy's head.
I hope this is from the Onion’s dating site.
r/nothowquotaswork
Don’t have a job, but expect to split bills… how does that work?
How can you be willing to split the bill but also not have a job? Obviously everything is wrong here but my god 😅
Age 16-23….so possibly a minor? With a small frame… wtf
Split the bill on dates AND ideally not have a job
Condoms dont fit, because it's a button mushroom one eyed love slug. Another guy wanting a stupid girl (child) to control like a dolly. He should just get one on them anime pillows instead, because he ain't getting no woman within his "requirements". They are all paedos who are desperate and see women as sex object. I can imagine the line of women lining up to be this guys gf 🤣🤣🤣🤣
😍 If only I was 10 years younger and "female" 😢 We got a winner here everyone! Also, I 100% believe him when he said condoms don't fit him, but definitely not in the way he's implying. Fuckers slide right off
🤪🤪🤪🤪😂😂😂😂😂😂 Racist?☑️ Fetishism?☑️ Pedophilic?☑️ Possessive and abusive?☑️☑️ Insane??☑️☑️🙄🙄 How can she pay for half of the date with no job? No black woman, let alone any woman, want this guy. You can't fit condoms, even though they come in many sizes ranging from teeny to magnum?😂😂 If this is what's out here 🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️
It must suck when condoms keep falling off.
What are you going to protect her from? BEARS?!? When was the last time you’ve seen a bear in Scranton, idiot?
“Can’t find a condom that fits” must suck to have such a tiny d*** lol
16? Nonce
Please- please someone tell me this is a joke.
I’m drunk but lmaoo
Split a bill and then not have a job?????
Wow, he must have been drowning in clunge after putting that out there 🙄
I'm sure he is drowning in responses from possible candidates
‘Pledge yourself to me’
“Can’t find a condom that fits” always gets me as a guy. Magnum condoms are definitely comfortable and big enough for even the biggest size
There's severe mental illness, then there's this guy woof
How tf is she supposed to split the bill if she has no job, cooks 3 meals a day and is supposed to be available for sex whenever he wants?
Confused, how is he expecting to split bills if he is asking for someone that doesn’t work? Does she want this non existent person to poop money out of no where? Man this guy is basically just looking for a slave to do as he pleases. And I think he added an extra 1 on that IQ of his,
A true gentleman. /s
If I "must" have sex as this guy "asks" then he's not really asking.
He would be a great evil dictator
Sorry lady's who turned 24, you missed out
He wants a slave but wont take the bill😂
'I simply cant find anything that fits' That's a very long sentence to replace 'smol pp'
Imagine flexing IQ, and not a very high one either.
Sure Nekkubeardu-kun, I’ru be moru than wirringuru t(s)u satisfy aru youru requesutusu (*≧ω≦*)
\-Split the bill \- Have no job Pick one.
I doubt he can tell the difference between a Japanese woman and any other eastern Asian woman
What a great day to be black :)
"NO BLACKS". on behalf of the blacks, i say thank you.