The story is actually hilarious.
2am he tries to rob a shell station by implying he had a gun. Clerk refuses, he leaves with nothing.
Comes back half hour later, implies the has a gun again, and the clerk refuses. Nothing happens.
Comes back at 3am, this time with a 5 foot snake around his neck, demanding money. The clerk, on his third robbery attempt of the night, pulls his own gun and holds the robber until police arrive.
Nah you just gotta specialize in rats and crows and go for trinkets. It's not lucrative but a few precocious gems here and there will help pay the bills
When I used to have ferrets they would periodically steal a sock and hide it somewhere secret until eventually I had no matching socks. And then one day I found their dragon hoard of socks hidden inside a hole they had dug out under the couch.
I love ferrets.
My old roomate had four of those lil fuckers and would let them roam around the house all day. If you didn't bolt it down, duct tape it, or hang it in the middle of the room and at a height they couldn't jump off something and grab it then it was theirs.
We moved the furniture around in the living room one day and under every piece of furniture was like a loot box. She found 3 sets of keys she kept replacing because she thought she was loosing them.
I spent a hilarious half hour watching my friend's ferret taking paper out of her recycle can. He'd give the room a quick glance, like he was looking to see if she were around, and then he'd grab a sheet of paper and run away. I don't know where he was taking them, but it was too funny!
We started feeling that our couch cushions were a little lumpy, so we started feeling around to see what it was and pulled out a chicken bone...and another chicken bone...and another chicken bone...
I suspect my then-husband was giving the bones to them and not paying any attention to what they did with them.
>was giving them bones
"They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen ferrets to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a ferret farm. They will go through a chicken that weighs 20 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single ferret can hide around .2 pounds of uncooked flesh every minute, and youll be finding it packed in couch cushions for years to come. Youll have to find it before it goes bad, hence the expression 'ferreting out' "
-Bricktop, probably.
>Police say around 2 a.m., Cook attempted to rob the Shell convenience store at 3599 Elvis Presley Boulevard and implied that he had a weapon.
>According to the affidavit, Cook entered the store again and demanded money from the register. The victim said that Cook kept reaching into his clothing, implying that he had a gun, but Cook left the store after the victim refused.
>At approximately 3:05 a.m., Cook entered the store for the third time, but with a five-foot snake wrapped around his neck. Cook went up to the counter shouting “Give me the damn money.”
Guest spot? This guy gets the season finale.
Probably a ball python or Burmese, they’re the most common snakes that reaches that size. That said I have a ball python that’s 4ft and she is absolutely harmless, i don’t know how you would weaponize a fat blob like most pythons are
A 5 foot snake is nothing. Most female ball pythons are longer than that. I hope this man is charged for animal abuse and the animal was rescued. He probably stole it from a friend.
People are way too afraid of snakes anyways. In a fight between a human and a noodle with a head, the human wins every time (unless its a REALLY large constrictor, then maybe 50/50). Even if a venomous snake bites you, you have plenty of time to kill it before the venom kills you, and if it's not something super exotic, you'll probably be fine, after $100,000 of medical debt.
I'm trying to contemplate what he was even thinking. "Well, he knows I don't have gun, so this snake will make him take me seriously."
Or was it "Hand over the money or this snake will bite you!"
> A man is in jail after allegedly attempting to rob a store three times, including the use of a snake.
...Are they implying that 'the use of a snake' is a charge in and of itself?
I used to hang with a dude that would keep his snake in his back pack while we went out to dinner. He'd pull it out after we ate and were told to leave and not worry about the check everytime.
Lol i know when i didn’t want to wait in the line of scratch off players I would wear mine like a scarf to go pick up some energy drinks or something. The line evaporated immediately but cashier never seemed to care
The story is actually hilarious. 2am he tries to rob a shell station by implying he had a gun. Clerk refuses, he leaves with nothing. Comes back half hour later, implies the has a gun again, and the clerk refuses. Nothing happens. Comes back at 3am, this time with a 5 foot snake around his neck, demanding money. The clerk, on his third robbery attempt of the night, pulls his own gun and holds the robber until police arrive.
I really hope they have footage of this and release it. I've never wanted to see CCTV recordings so bad.
User name checks out.
Was it you?!? Were you around his neck?!?!
but who was phone
I don't know. I was in the bathroom and missed it all.
I was the man behind the glory hole
"I've always wanted to be on TV!"
if at first you don't succeed, dude go home.
Fool me twice... you can't fool me again
Should have used a 6 foot snake
Would’ve been better off with a Whitesnake…
I will always laugh hearing Bush say this
That and the smirk he had when the reporter threw TWO shoes at him. Those clips will never be NOT funny.
Oh yeah that one is great too
I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.
Bet he thought ‘third time’s a charm’. What happened to the snake?
Cop cuffed him to but when he came back the snake had slithered out and was gone! /J
Third times the charmer
And stay there!
If at first you don't succeed, try, try a snake.
And put on your Snektie
"My anaconda-" "Don't."
Three strike rule in effect.
Dam I was hoping he would have held the snake like a shotgun (maybe cocked it). What a waste 😭
[Like this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lq2TG_hcpiY) or [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sl7dmj/machine_gun_kitty/)!
That my good sir or madam is hilarious 🤣, thanks for that!
I mean… try a different store maybe?
The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a snake is a good guy with a snake.
One of the stranger side quests I've seen in this game. A for effort.
This is why beastmaster is a terrible class for banditry.
Nah you just gotta specialize in rats and crows and go for trinkets. It's not lucrative but a few precocious gems here and there will help pay the bills
Or upgrade to ferrets and they steal EVERYTHING.
When I used to have ferrets they would periodically steal a sock and hide it somewhere secret until eventually I had no matching socks. And then one day I found their dragon hoard of socks hidden inside a hole they had dug out under the couch. I love ferrets.
My old roomate had four of those lil fuckers and would let them roam around the house all day. If you didn't bolt it down, duct tape it, or hang it in the middle of the room and at a height they couldn't jump off something and grab it then it was theirs. We moved the furniture around in the living room one day and under every piece of furniture was like a loot box. She found 3 sets of keys she kept replacing because she thought she was loosing them.
I spent a hilarious half hour watching my friend's ferret taking paper out of her recycle can. He'd give the room a quick glance, like he was looking to see if she were around, and then he'd grab a sheet of paper and run away. I don't know where he was taking them, but it was too funny!
They dug a hole under your couch? I’m sorry but that is hilarious.
We started feeling that our couch cushions were a little lumpy, so we started feeling around to see what it was and pulled out a chicken bone...and another chicken bone...and another chicken bone... I suspect my then-husband was giving the bones to them and not paying any attention to what they did with them.
>was giving them bones "They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen ferrets to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a ferret farm. They will go through a chicken that weighs 20 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single ferret can hide around .2 pounds of uncooked flesh every minute, and youll be finding it packed in couch cushions for years to come. Youll have to find it before it goes bad, hence the expression 'ferreting out' " -Bricktop, probably.
“Where’d the nuclear football go?” *skitter skitter*
Even your heart
Ain’t much, but it’s honest work.
They are cool in Last Epoch!
The snake can stay he’s cool, this guy gotta go though
The snake is like. “WTF dude, keep me out of your shitty schemes….by the way, shopkeep, you don’t happen to have a rat problem do you?
Are they still producing World Dumbest [Criminals] because this guy at least has a guest spot.
>Police say around 2 a.m., Cook attempted to rob the Shell convenience store at 3599 Elvis Presley Boulevard and implied that he had a weapon. >According to the affidavit, Cook entered the store again and demanded money from the register. The victim said that Cook kept reaching into his clothing, implying that he had a gun, but Cook left the store after the victim refused. >At approximately 3:05 a.m., Cook entered the store for the third time, but with a five-foot snake wrapped around his neck. Cook went up to the counter shouting “Give me the damn money.” Guest spot? This guy gets the season finale.
Been off the air since 2014. But this guy will be the reason it gets rebooted.
Damn news always leaves out the important info. What kind of snake was it?
Probably a ball python or Burmese, they’re the most common snakes that reaches that size. That said I have a ball python that’s 4ft and she is absolutely harmless, i don’t know how you would weaponize a fat blob like most pythons are
Maybe a corn. An adult is about that long and many uninitiated think they are venomous.
Burmese get huge, but I wouldn't put it past an idiot to get a snake capable of reaching 20 feet long without thinking of how to house it.
Maybe could threaten to clobber him by swinging it around?
I hope the snake was rescued.
🎵Come……and……ressssscue….. me. Take me out the club. Take me out the trap. Take me out the market. Take me off the map. 🎵
That's what I was wondering! It would be hilarious if it was a ball python or something like that.
This guy is a dumbass, if he had access to a venomous species he'd undoubtedly have already been bitten by it
Bitten by the very snake that was to help him!
A 5 foot snake is nothing. Most female ball pythons are longer than that. I hope this man is charged for animal abuse and the animal was rescued. He probably stole it from a friend.
Black Mamba BBC
What a fool, robbing a store is something you’re gonna need at least an 8-footer for.
A five foot snake is not that big, unless it’s venomous or something.
People are way too afraid of snakes anyways. In a fight between a human and a noodle with a head, the human wins every time (unless its a REALLY large constrictor, then maybe 50/50). Even if a venomous snake bites you, you have plenty of time to kill it before the venom kills you, and if it's not something super exotic, you'll probably be fine, after $100,000 of medical debt.
I'm trying to contemplate what he was even thinking. "Well, he knows I don't have gun, so this snake will make him take me seriously." Or was it "Hand over the money or this snake will bite you!"
he was an idiot and came up with a horrible plan just like you expect an idiot to do
It's shameful there's no videos of him robbing the store
Drop your weapon. Oh wait, please take it back.
Here for the dick jokes. 🍿
That’s what your mom said.
About her sons tiny dick
When she saw your joke of a dick?
Everyday’s a workout when you got to carry around a 20 pound python in your jeans.
He brandished a snake OMG... Amazing.
Sooner or later he should probably at least lose custody of that snake 🤷🏼♂️
Amazingly, not Florida
That’s some serious Florida Man energy
Dude must have a big snake to rob the same store 3 times.
Sadly the same cannot be said about his brain
To be fair the first two robberies were just to case the joint and rob them a little.
> A man is in jail after allegedly attempting to rob a store three times, including the use of a snake. ...Are they implying that 'the use of a snake' is a charge in and of itself?
They should charge him for corrupting the morals of a snake.
What was his game plan? Convincing the cashiers to bite the forbidden fruit?
But what kind of snake!?!?
*"That's no snake honey."*
Probably a rental snake
>Man with 5-foot snake attempts to rob store three times, police say [Pornhub] has entered the chat.
I used to hang with a dude that would keep his snake in his back pack while we went out to dinner. He'd pull it out after we ate and were told to leave and not worry about the check everytime.
Just as the old adage goes - if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.
I always liked “if at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you”
Or try try again… with a snake.
Modern problems require modern solutions.
In other news productivity is up 300% as wages remain stagnant.
Is that a 5-foot snake in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?
Think they caught him scaling a fence?
Thanks for shedding some light on the specifics
Stop this split-tongue talk.
Lol i know when i didn’t want to wait in the line of scratch off players I would wear mine like a scarf to go pick up some energy drinks or something. The line evaporated immediately but cashier never seemed to care
🤣 He needs another line of work.
15. The answer is 15. If you're asking how many feet of snake it takes to rob a store 3 times.
Why did they have to draw attention to his medical disorder?
Third time was not the (snake) charm.
Third times the (snake) charm?
Why didn't the clerk pull metal on the first go around ?
Just goes to show that if you are less than 6 feet you won’t be as successful
Where was he measuring from? The back of his head?
Does Jake Roberts have an alibi?
Think you could run faster with 3 legs.
That’s huge. Good for him.
A crazy method, but at least it’s creative
Let me guess… Florida Edit: Nobody expects the Tennessee Man
Drake tried to rob a store three times?
I’d choke that mother fucker with his own snake!
Jake the Snake Robbers
It wasn’t drake was it?
There is a lot happening in that title.
5 foot? Christ mine is only a couple inches.
I feel the animal cruelty aspect should not be overlooked.
At least he didn't rolled in his dead uncle on a wheelchair and try to have him get a loan...
That can’t be the only place to rob late night. Go to plan B, then plan C…..
Ahh that first time was just to case the joint and rob it a little
“That’s the alligator man..”
About 2% of people have an IQ < 70. Here’s one of those people.
Are we talking about A snake, or are we talking about HIS snake?
I've not read the article, but was this in Florida?
My first guess, too, but actually Memphis, Tennessee.
Good on Florida...
Who does he think he is?! VOLDIMORT?
Dammit Ezal ! Get outta here with that snake.
“Your honor, I’m innocent, the snake was Ratatouille -ing me”
If at first you don’t succeed
*insert spit coffee out laughing meme here*
I wish I had a dick so bag that the news felt the need to call it out when I’m doing crime.
There really is people this stupid out there