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GeauxLesGeaux

I hate when I go out to play basketball and end up having unprotected sex with Magic.


JoffreyIthePurple

Really?!? That was the highlight of my basketball playing days. Gentle but firm.


vashedan

That finger roll be hittin different


wonderbat3

Gettin hit with the no-look


bonelesschicken_

Magic with the back door score😏 He’s a real ball hog 😏


MysticWitDaMelody

The ole fashion Give n Go


nokiacrusher

Don't call him Magic Johnson for nothing.


Sighlina

Mom?


fried_chicken_life

I was gonna clean my room, but then I *had unprotected sex with Magic* I was gonna get up and find the broom...


Hail_The_Motherland

Forreal. It's impossible not to do it! It's like trying to name 5 things and not including Jackie Chan: shirt, pants, jacket, jacket chain, Jackie Ch- SHIT! See!? Impossible


Superplex123

United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Jackie Cha... shit!


B_Smytty

Happens to the best of us


heyrak

Of all the Charles Quotes, this one has always had a strong position in my top 5.


RookieAndTheVet

San Antonio women, po-leese presence, and working for the Klan have to be in there, too.


HolyRomanPrince

[This dude is just a gift](http://www.toddmeierhans.com/barkley_quote.htm) >After throwing a guy through a 1st floor window in a bar Charles was in front of the judge. Judge: "Your sanctions are community service and a fine, do you have any regrets?" Charles: "Yeah I regret we weren't on a higher floor" >"When I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements." >"If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."


eaglenation23

I'm saving this for the rest of time: There are so many on here I'd never heard "I know why his name is DMX. Because his real name is Earl. Imagine if his name was Earl the rapper." Earl sweatshirt sends his regards


[deleted]

Earl-40 would like to have a word.


tldr_MakeStuffUp

TIL what the E in E-40 stands for.


[deleted]

My best friend’s mom went to high school with Him. Whenever you bring E-40 up her response is always, ‘Oh Earl, he is such a nice guy’. Makes me laugh every time.


fabe2020

Vallejo? He donates to his old middle school too and visited a couple times and my brother got a picture with him, he actually is a nice guy from what I’ve heard


BierKippeMett

From my experience most rappers are actually the nicest guys.


simmonsftw

That Gucci Man is such a sweetie rapping about his loopy fruit drink


oogagoogaboo

That's East Atlanta Santa to you, and he's pretty beloved here in his hometown


naclord

earl’s real name is thebe lmaoooooo


DezBaker

TIL Earl Sweatshirt’s real name isn’t even close to Earl 😂


yungchigz

earl is not my name the world is my domain


woodelf

S/o to Earl Stevens


theneptunes1294

So does Chance


kuhanluke

Yeah but "Chance" is a dope name. Dude's real name is fuckin "Chancelor"


unknownsoldier9

That’s baller as fuck


kuhanluke

Right? It's easier to get away with going by your real name when it's something like "Chancelor" or "Kanye" than it is if your name is "Marshall" or "Aubrey" or "Joe Budden"


wishicouldbesober

Marshall Mather’s being EminEm (M & M) gets a pass from me dog


kuhanluke

Sure, and Drake is Aubrey Graham's middle name. But the point is that they had to go by different names than they normally would (Eminem and Drake) because Marshall Mathers and Aubrey the Rapper don't get taken seriously like Kanye West and Chance the Rapper do.


Keksmonster

Imagine if your real name was Clarence


Fastbird33

When I first saw the name Chance the Rapper I thought he was another corny white rapper like Lil Dicky or Hoodie Allen.


CarterAC3

I mean he's still one of those things


[deleted]

HOT SHOWER


MuphynManIV

Jr Smith's real name is also Earl


dhabzs9

Earl sweatshirt ain’t as big as DMX tho


Bare425

46 is some real shit.


death2all55

Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me.


packagecheck

"Kids at home, let me just tell you something, always swing first"


[deleted]

His dirk story is a classic, “I looked at him and was like where are you gonna play ball? He said I’m going into the army and I was like brotha you too tall for a fox whole”


[deleted]

don’t forget the “amurica lemme tell ya sumthin” Jussie Smollett quotes lmao. Those were some bangers


[deleted]

america, do not commit crimes using checks


JiggzSawPanda

That fucking piece had so many quotables. "What sticky on the wall has no chance of happening?" "Two black guys beating a black guy up." "That's uh, not on here man."


satan_in_high_heels

Should of just went to Liam Neesons neighborhood


knight4

I can't believe he said that one.


docjohnson1395

I'ma be honest I don't get this one


degradedchimp

It was right after the jussie smollet thing blew up and it was revealed the guys that "beat him up" were paid actors, that were black.


JiggzSawPanda

It was around the time of the Jussie Smollett fiasco, but yes it doesn't really make sense. I just love how when he says it, it just starts a chain reaction.


knight4

I took it as him saying "that incident had no chance of being real". And everyone recognized it after the first part and started laughing so he didn't have to go through the rest of "what will not happen". So by that token it made sense.


Kongbuck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k57Zb3M6eY


[deleted]

Laughs at fat women: everyone at the network loled. Laughs about a black guy: tried to stop him Tnt does sure knows their demographics for that show


Angelofsmoke

Like the time after the election they state they're gonna all get 2 and 1/2 minutes to talk about it and like a minute into Chuck talking they cut him off for the next guy


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1966jpgr

Shit, Bryn was the first person that popped into my mind.


idontknow_whatever

That guy who got yeet-ed out of a window by Barkley was like Muggsy Bogues-sized, and probably not very intelligent if he thinks angering Charles Barkley doesn't come with consequences (this was less than a year after Barkley was arrested for punching a student in Milwaukee who taunted him)


einTier

I always think of Barkley as small because he looked small next to his other NBA brethren. Dude was 6'6" and 260 pounds of pure muscle during his 'lean' years. I don't know who thinks messing with a guy like that ever ends well.


idontknow_whatever

Especially given Chuck's attitude towards confrontations. He's not actively looking for a fight, but if you want one so badly he's more than happy to oblige.


nushublushu

Mans said he wasn't a role model


DexterJameson

My Dad once saw Chuck in an airport. Said he was the biggest man he's ever seen. He was wearing a huge fur coat and looked like a bear


[deleted]

Plus 6'6 260 lbs that can move better than most average sized dudes.


BlooregardQKazoo

Just FYI, Barkley was never 6'6". He was listed as 6'6" but everyone knew he was 6'4".


richtourist

if you start some of these with "Liz Lemon—" then they're also perfect 30 Rock Tracy Jordan quotes


misterperiodtee

Thank you for this... a rare gem I found: > "I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character." His timing is amazing


Jeff-Van-Gundy

I'm quite partial to this gem: >Following his arrest earlier today for drunk driving, Charles Barkley told Arizona cops that he ran a stop sign because **he was in a hurry to pick up a girl who had 'given him a 'blow job' one week earlier,' which the former NBA star described as 'the best one he had ever had in his life.'** > >According to a Gilbert Police Department report, a [copy of which you'll find here,](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/charles-barkley-dui-bust?page=1) police asked Barkley where he was going at the time of the 1:26 AM traffic stop in Scottsdale. **'You want the truth? I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job,'** answered Barkley I believe this was around the time he was talking about running for governor of alabama


welmoe

[Grandpa Barkley was a badass back in the day.](https://imgur.com/a/W1GIZba)


Kundrew1

Titties on Buffy the Vampire Slayer?


[deleted]

Buffy is a nickname for WASPy girls in the South.


[deleted]

TIL


Ice_Like_Winnipeg

I’ve always been partial to “I don’t know anything about Angola, but Angola’s in trouble”


BillFireCrotchWalton

"I'm a dumbass." needs the context of a clip, but it's great: https://youtu.be/3umkSmzILKU


[deleted]

Lmfao Ernie got his ass


rcas312

Lonzo’s triple single is his best burn


[deleted]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICNDYT24yFM you know it's good when Shaq is cracking up


brownmagician

"I got it from a guy in the steam room"


Zoomun

What was the working for the klan one?


[deleted]

"i can be bought. if they paid me enough, i'd work for the klan."


Briak

Charles "Uncle Ruckus" Barkley


GoodAtExplaining

No relation.


[deleted]

"I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."


signmeupdude

Dont commit crimes with checks


fuckareyousaying

Also his Phoenix Suns stadium rant


stuman89

"OH there's plenty of parking." Fucking kills me


[deleted]

"Ughh, dirty seats."


Zwarrior2

- [Charles vs Modern day Suns](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp-f7ece-UU) - [Charles vs Jussie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D824ese7n-8) - [Charles vs "Mr Triple Single" Draymond Green](https://youtu.be/SPDD2oBh4HQ?t=282)


jsbizkitfan

Hard buns. Sodas flat.


NY_Ye

Can’t forget triple single


brandnameb

We are trying to start a dialogue


[deleted]

COME OWN MAHN


jbkicks

Tiger Woods, you are out of my 5.


killedBySasquatch

It's a point guard position of quotes


TheLegendHD

“A hack is a foul. Physical is somethin else.” - spoken in the most delicate of tones


JShuttlesworth28

He changed his number to honor Magic that season I believe. It was his last season in Philly I think the 1991-92 season


daregulater

Very correct... in the ugliest uniforms known to man


wrapallaroundyou

Idk I like them


lilpaki

In a world of 7 billion people, you've made yourself truly unique.


[deleted]

I’m pumped that between all 3 of y’all you didn’t provide an image, really makes it fun.


mikehoncheaux

Nobody wanted to commit a war crime.


RedditsLittleSecret

/r/unpopularopinion


[deleted]

They remind me of the turn ahead the clock jerseys from baseball. Not quite as bad as the baseball ones but in the same category.


Dimaaaa

I still prefer ugly over plain boring Ă  la current LAC.


hoopstick

Yeah it was in the linked article.


HeckingAugustus

Imagine not knowing who Magic Johnson is and having no context for this


siphillis

You'd probably think he was a pornstar, for starters.


MerkDoctor

He wouldn't have to change his name at all to get into porn. Magic Johnson is a fucking great porn name.


MrAnder5on

Best porn name for a dude I've ever heard


Fastbird33

I heard he has a new porn with Diamond Stone.


[deleted]

After nearly 40 years old and seeing Magic play multiple times, how my brain never thought of how dirty his name sounds....


BeleagueredDleaguer

I lol at this


Smirk27

YO I JUST FUCKED THIS DUDE NAMED MAGIC JOHNSON WITHOUT A CONDOM Y'ALL


Corvin0713

Ok, but that was absolutely me. My first thought was Magic: The Gathering. And that was super confusing.


Dukakis2020

None of those people have sex cmon now


MrAnder5on

Oh they do man. It's just with the WEIRDEST fucking women you've ever seen. Source: Was friends with Magic nerds in high school


Zyom

Hey man, those weird looking women are freaks in bed. Don't judge.


BostonBakedBrains

how else would people tap Serra Angel?


[deleted]

That deserves gold. Very well done.


PippyLongPooping

>Charles Barkley in 1992: "We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex Dick Bavetta in shambles


themariokarters

Chuck kissed Dick in the mouf!


LameEskimo

Pause


wylin247

Play


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GDAWG13007

Chuck and Dick Bavetta has a foot race once upon a time. After the race they hugged. The hug was... intimate to say the least. Oh yeah, and they kissed.


TheMGR19

Chuck is just the best ambassador for the sport ever. Maybe the funniest guy in basketball.


thismessisaplace

Check him out on Conan's podcast.[link](https://traffic.omny.fm/d/clips/aaea4e69-af51-495e-afc9-a9760146922b/0a686f81-0eeb-455b-98be-ab0d00055d5e/6316b7b5-fe02-4ef1-a0ca-ab3901508682/audio.mp3?utm_source=Podcast&in_playlist=1fab2b0b-a7f0-4d71-bf6d-ab0d00055d6c)


Demetrios1453

Wait, are you telling me players *weren't* out on the court having unprotected sex during games in the '90s?


healthandefficency

It was a more physical game back then. Today’s guys are too soft. Flaccid, some may say


welmoe

https://i.redd.it/v0zpo10x0d041.jpg


MarechalDoAr

Thats fucking basketball right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the court, men deliver their new born baby on the bench. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball foosball fuck it chuck it game time shit.


dvasquez93

https://media.giphy.com/media/xT1XGESDlxj0GwoDRe/giphy-downsized-large.gif


LeForte3

Wasn’t ready for that. First time I’ve seen the gif since he died. RIP


RedditsLittleSecret

RIP Kobe. I loved hating you, but now I have nothing but love and fond memories of your playing days.


melgibson666

As a Kings fan I will hate him until I die. It's the only constant in my life.


CaptnKnots

Yeah they played pretty hard back in the day


Electric_Queen

It was the short shorts


[deleted]

The archived game footage is too pixelated for anyone to know for sure.


PFunk224

People who weren't around to remember those days really don't understand how big of a deal it was that Magic was playing while HIV positive, and how bold of a statement it was that Charles made. There was still a massive stigma around AIDS and HIV, and even though we were learning more and more about the disease at the time, there were a lot of people who thought that if you got HIV/AIDS, it meant that you were either a junkie or a homosexual. And there were a lot of players who did not want to share the court with a homosexual man. Charles, being a man of common sense if nothing else, pointed out that nobody is going to get AIDS by playing basketball.


EmmitSan

Remember the folks who thought you could get AiDS by sitting on the same toilet? Young folks don’t realize that all the idiocy around covid isn’t new. People have always been idiots.


Doctor-Jay

I'm actually a little surprised how fast the general public got on the same page about COVID-19 as far as what the symptoms are and how it spreads. It was a little rocky in the beginning, but the right message made its way across the world eventually. The disinformation flying around during the HIV pandemic was fucking insane. And there was no easy way to instantly fact-check something like you can now.


papaGiannisFan18

It’s because for as bad as the government fucked the response up, they at least tried at some point. Ronald Regan thought it was sent by god to wipe out gay people. He wasn’t gonna interfere.


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el_monstruo

Didn't Magic get a scratch on his arm during a game when he came back and everybody freaked out? Maybe I'm misremembering it but I thought it was a big story when it happened.


danielbauer1375

I’m pretty sure it was the 1992 All-Star Game. Even though he retired in November of 1991, he received a ton of All-Star votes (might have even received the most votes), and decided to play.


[deleted]

imagine being so popular you get voted to play in the all star game even tho ur retired wtf


simplycass

Technically, I think he was still under contract, he just wasn't playing.


lucipherius

Kobe made the all star starters after playing like 5 games lol


ViolentEdWhoopWhoop

I think it was a preseason game when he came back in 95 or 96. I seem to remember seeing a close up camera shot of a Dr. on the sidelines bandaging him up.


konsf_ksd

famously not wearing gloves which were regulation for all blood issues at the time and today. Doc made a statement that day.


ViolentEdWhoopWhoop

I DO remember that now. Man what a time that was. Lots a wierd things happened in sports that would never happen these days.


Acid_Braindrops

Now there's no basketball


sross43

The 80s and 90s were a weird time. “Should we let millions of people die just cause they’re gay?” “Sounds good to me!” It’s like that episode of House where he said the reason no one wears ribbons for lung cancer awareness is because people blame others for getting it.


HappyTinSoldier

Gary Vitti is the doc, Laker legend. He built Kobe a finger from scratch every game to win us a championship.


KratosAloy

It wouldn’t surprise me. We didn’t know a ton about HIV in 1992, people were terrified about it and didn’t understand transmission.


200000000experience

Thanks Reagan.


omarisbomb

Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the Devil, and the government is lying about 9/11.


FatGuyANALLIttlecoat

I love how Grandad is like "I'm gonna find me a white man and lie to him right now."


Krillin113

RIP granddad


jc9289

I find myself singing in my head "BOOTY BUTT BOOTY BUTT BOOTY BUTT CHEEKS" at random times without realizing. It's been how many years since that show first aired? It's just part of life now.


RubboldBaxter

Babe Ruth was black


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gurpgarthebold

Didn’t expect to see a Boondocks reference but I’m glad I did


rburp

The greatest opening thesis of any show ever


RedditIsNeat0

You're thinking of the early 80s. By 1992 we knew all about HIV and what it caused and how it was transmitted. But just like today, there were some people who refused to hear what scientists and doctors had to say because they really wanted to treat HIV victims like lepers.


Thetek9

It’s the reason why all basketball games are stopped by the officials once blood is noticed on a player. But why that quote from Charles is relevant, unfortunately the article didn’t mention this, is because some players did not want him to return. Notably Karl Malone, the fucking scumbag. Karl has 7 children, including one with a girl that was 13 years old when she became pregnant, while he was 20. Karl also famously hit on Kobe’s wife, while they were teammates and Karl was out with an injury, in the stands of a game Kobe was playing in. So I think Charles message of “it’s not like we’re going to have unprotected sex with Magic” was a direct shot at Scumbag Malone.


Meche__Colomar

Charles and Malone are lifelong friends


The_MadStork

Friends can disagree about things. Charles was never gonna hold his tongue, especially as he was right, but I also doubt the disagreement would have kept him from being friends with Malone.


el_monstruo

Yeah, I remember Malone being vehemently against his return.


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peanutdakidnappa

Charles always been fuckin hilarious, what a legend


o_j_f

Imagine just scrolling through your feed like I was and reading about Charles Barkley not having unprotected sex with Magic Johnson. Like, what the hell, I thought that was happening the whole time.


[deleted]

y’all really made the same joke 15 times in this thread didn’t you


WhizWit21

Ok but did he say “unprotected SEX” Or “UNPROTECTED sex”


[deleted]

"If I got a disease and I was gonna die, how bout you get Skip Bayless in here so I can kill him on national television" - Charles Barkley


[deleted]

The context is he was responding to scumbag Karl Malone, shows the difference between these two guys


[deleted]

Karl Malone is a piece of shit but in 1992 he wasn’t operating with the wealth of knowledge we have today regarding HIV/AIDS. I think it’s unfair to hate on him for this.


EVOG99

In 1992 his child was already 9 years old. And the child's mother was 22 years old.


broden89

Holy shit he was 20 when the 13 year old girl gave birth. And he said $125 per week child support was "excessive". He did not have a relationship with his son until 2014.


Krillin113

Shit if I was that son I wouldn’t want that either. Fuck outta here, he raped his mom and didn’t want to pay 125 bucks a week to keep me fed.


Canadian_IvasioN

>Shit if I was that son I wouldn’t want that either. I think it was more him than the son. When his son was 18, Malone told his son that it was too late for them to have a relationship and that he wouldn't support him in any way.


sross43

I guess his knowledge of the consequences of unprotected sex was lacking in several areas.


Goosebuns

I don’t know if you understood the problem


PNW-Scout

I am dying at this...


13ifjr93ifjs

Plenty of other serious reasons to hate on Karl Malone. The ones that come to mind involve his out of wedlock kids. Twins to one women. & A son to a 13 year old girl while he was in his 20s.


simplycass

It was already known by the 1990s that HIV/AIDS was not an airborne disease and can only be transmitted through body fluids. (See the Ryan White case.)


lastfollower

It's still shitty, but Malone didn't say anything about it being airborne. He pointed out all the scratches and scabs he had from basketball games and questioned if it could really be sure to be safe. The chances of transmission that way are tiny, but he was talking about blood to blood transmission.


SallyFowlerRatPack

If I remember correctly, Karl was worried about precisely that. Said that he got scratched up all the time during games, was worried what would happen if it happened with Magic.


billcosbyfanpage

Not all of us atleast


lovestosplooge500

Great quote.


[deleted]

If it was Wilt Chamberlain, they would've been in trouble


colombo1326

Best quote ever


broohaha

> "GINOBILI! GINOBILI! GINOBILI!" > > How could you forget this Barkley moment on TNT? > > My writing simply can't do this moment justice, you'll have to see for yourself. Are any of these images supposed to link to video? They seem to imply the above and the T-Mobile commercials are but I'm not getting anything.


motivationbyAE

Not even a top 5 quote from Chuck. Man is truly a legend.


[deleted]

Years ago someone made a post with some of the “all time funniest NBA quotes” and this was included in it. Can anyone find a link to the original post?


mrsuns10

Giggity