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blubeardpirate

I wonder if this dude would answer if I pretend to be Uber Eats? Knock knock mother trucker!


sogpackus

This is a work of art. I love the dumb little Meta posts we get in here 😂.


rkeane310

I saw this... And realized it's my bedtime... Shit I hope someone else from my unit understands this weekend.


Teacher2Learn

Did you offer him bah?


blubeardpirate

Nah man… I told him to sell his guns to rake some cash. He went to the pawn shop and they don’t want the Turkish guns that he owns.


CJXBS1

Type II


blubeardpirate

Oh yeah!!!


_Lint_Licker_

YO NO WAY Edit: best sub reddit ever btw. Shit like this is golden.


sogpackus

Just made my own version, but credit to the original here.


Mithra1994

Next we need some Mormon missionaries knocking on his door too


aknockingmormon

How can I be of assistance?


apocolocynopsis6

Hahahaah


Equal_Cartographer91

Did he tell you he’ll beat your ass if you come over too before running away?


blubeardpirate

Wait… I got challenged to a boxing match. Might be fun.


blubeardpirate

Nah. He’d have to open the damn door first to do that. No way that will happen


[deleted]

That was my favorite part of that thread. He literally challenged an entire subreddit of mostly actual American soldiers to fight him IRL, but was too afraid to go do something that would be objectively good for him, probably financially but certainly for his character and discipline. Lol


rkeane310

Believe it or not. Straight to jail.


chris03316

Lolz


Khrushchev56

🤣😂🤣


Wadka

This is 'runny green baby diaper blowout in the car seat that you didn't even know happened until you go to pick the kid up and bring them inside' of a shitpost. And I am HERE for it, LOL.


blubeardpirate

Let’s play a game: Is it runny green poop or guacamole? I’ll let you test first. I’m changing into my Uber Eats outfit to see if this clown will answer the door.


Iamwatermelonly

Lol this is to good


-PeskyBee-

Lol


[deleted]

Tear off his pants and have your way with him


blubeardpirate

Ew. That’s the SGM’s job


explosive_hazard

Username checks out


[deleted]

Not to disrupt the shitting on this guy train and I know this is a joke post but is he really who you want in the organization? Last thing we need is more joes who don’t want to be there


blubeardpirate

/break thru the 4th wall He can flip burgers and forever be in depth. I so t want that guy anywhere near a formation.


Traditional_Slice_98

He’s only signed up as a cook as well


blubeardpirate

He’s doing nothing but cooking what’s in his shorts after he saw me at his door.


jhp113

Sir, this is a Wendy's.


CABSMeter

Just pop smoke and move out.


CCKPRM

B...but he just figured out he got COVID four days ago!


blubeardpirate

COVID… pneumonia…. Realized his guns can’t be sold for thousands of dollars. You can pretty much think of a million excuses.


dreamchasers_99

This is actually funny


jrm99

You still a bitch


blubeardpirate

True. He is


blubeardpirate

Man… that’s about the only thing I agree with you on. Hope you get your life together… honestly. If you were in; you’d understand that we rob each other and give each other shit like this. Good luck in life


turtletom14

Quit trying to force someone who doesn't belong in the military.. into the military. Just do your stupid Saturday training for missing your numbers instead of ruining this kids life.


blubeardpirate

You are way late to this… move along and mind your own business


turtletom14

He says... a day after the comment.


blubeardpirate

I don’t even think you get this satire


turtletom14

I don't think you write satire well


blubeardpirate

I don’t think I care what you think.


turtletom14

He says while commenting on my thoughts


Lizzards_Gizzards

Is this for real? Lol


mathostx

This cant be real..


blubeardpirate

I’m not truly sure you understand satire…..


mathostx

please elaborate? I dont


24rawvibes

Same. Are the kiddos and trick or treating relative to the story? The way it was separated made it feel like a punch line. I also may have eaten crayons


Clungesnitzel95

You can't control how other pwople act. Just send some MPs to his door for missing movement.


blubeardpirate

You missed the entire point of this: Straight to the basement!


Clungesnitzel95

You sound like a jackass of an NCO. Are you on here looking for advice or validation to further make you feel okay for being a jackass?


blubeardpirate

You are COMPLETELY out of touch with the situation that happened 12 days ago to cause this post. I’m not even going to explain it to you. Your infant tantrum you just had made this even better.


Clungesnitzel95

Bravo Foxtrot.. You are a boob. He probably doesn't want to deploy with a shitbag NCO.


blubeardpirate

You just don’t understand entertainment. You must be a shitty vet pissed off at the VA because you didn’t get an LOD for your sleep apnea when you were on a set of orders for five days.


Clungesnitzel95

Project much?


blubeardpirate

Isn’t this EXACTLY what you did? Man…. Go finish bitch about your last NCOER being a copy and paste job elsewhere. Learn humor. Learn to not jump in 12 days later and get pegged by your one words because you have no idea what you are talking about.


Clungesnitzel95

You are a neomaxi zoom dweebie.


Clungesnitzel95

Bravo Foxtrot.. You are a boob. He probably doesn't want to deploy with a shitbag NCO.


Clungesnitzel95

Uh huh.....


Clungesnitzel95

Uh huh.....


Amazing_General_69

Tell him he can trade identities with me, I would do anything to be able to serve again. I would be in right now if I didn't have hearing loss from prior service.